Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 7, Episode 34 - VIP Members Only - full transcript
The guys hope to be VIPs at Cheeser's.
[♪♪♪]
[BEATBOXING]
[BEATBOXING CONTINUES]
♪ Classic grilled cheese
Add bacon if you please ♪
♪ If you want it come and get it
'Cause we'll eat it in breeze! ♪
♪ Got bread ♪
♪ Times two ♪
♪ Got cheese ♪
♪ Por vous ♪
♪ Got that bacon
That'll make you go ♪
ALL:
♪ Oooooh! ♪
BOTH:
♪ Bacon! Ba-ba-ba-bacon! ♪
♪ Ba-ba-ba-bacon!
Ba-ba-ba-bacon! ♪
Are you all done, sir?
Yeah we're done.
[SIGHS]
I guess we should head back.
Not to be rude, but, uh--
hmm, how do I say this...
Your hands are
really gross, bro.
What?
If you're gonna shove it
down my throat, Fives...
Sorry.
I'd want someone to tell me.
I'll just use one of these moist
towelettes, and it will be fine.
Aaah!
Huh?
I'm sorry, but these are
for V.I.P. members only.
V.I.P. member?
'Scuse me.
V.I.P. coming through.
[TWINKLES]
Thanks, Rick.
Here's your complimentary
V.I.P. merchandise.
Later, normies.
ALL:
Whoa.
And that sweet merch
and moist towelettes
aren't the only thing you get
from being a V.I.P.
You get table reservations
in the V.I.P. room.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
ALL:
Ooh!
Complimentary tater tots.
ALL:
Ahhh!
50% off anything in
the Cheezers gift shop.
[ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYING]
Cool! Look at that stuff!
Is that a Cheezers umbrella?
But the best perk is,
if you present
your V.I.P. card,
you get access to
our exclusive new sandwich,
the "Pork Picnic"!
[PIG OINKS]
COWBOY:
Slow-cooked baked beans,
hearty coleslaw,
and 3 different types of
barbecued pulled pork...
[SQUELCHES]
Mmm-mmm!
Now, that's
lip-lickin' good.
It's available for only
one week, for V.I.P.s only,
and will never be released
to the public!
Bros! Huddle.
I don't want to
assume anything,
but we're totally gonna
become V.I.P.s
and eat that sandwich,
right?
Definitely.
No question.
So, how do we
become V.I.P.s?
There are two ways
you can become a V.I.P.
Be an astronaut, or you've
got to prove you're worthy.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong,
but are y'all astronauts?
Well, no.
That's what I thought.
Normie scum.
Hey! Listen lady,
we can be V.I.P.s
just like a lousy
astronaut, okay?
Man, I'm sick of
these astronauts
coasting through life, getting
free handouts all the time!
So, I guess you'll just need
to just get to a computer,
go online,
and fill out the form
to begin the grueling
application process, scum!
Dude, what the heck?
Maybe it isn't worth it.
[CHOMPS]
Mmm!
Aw, man, it sure tastes good
to be a V.I.P.
[ALL MOANING]
We got to get
to a computer!
[ALL PANTING]
POPS:
Hmm...Hmm, hmm.
"H," "U," "M,"
"M" again, "I," "N"...
Look, Pops! We need the
computer to fill out a form!
Oh! I won't be long.
Lets see...
Lost my train of thought.
"H"...
[ALL GROAN]
U-M-M-I-N-G B-I-R-D!
Done!
Thank you, Mitch.
[CLICKING]
All done.
The computer is yours.
Thanks, Pops.
Okay. It took six hours, but
we finally finished the form.
Okay. So, we've got
applications for Mordecai,
Rigby, Muscle Man,
and Hi Five Ghost.
All right. You boys
are officially V.I.P.s...
All right!
Yeah, we are!
Pork picnic, here we come!
...as soon as you put all these
fliers on the cars outside
under the hot,
blisterin' sun.
What?! But I thought
the application was
the last thing
we had to do!
Oh, honey, I would never
say something like that.
I'm not sure if this is a good
return on our investment, guys.
Well, that's fine,
if you really don't want
the Pork Picnic sandwich,
available to
V.I.P.s only,
with our patented three
types of dipping sauce.
The real chance
of a lifetime.
Okay, we'll do it!
We'll do whatever it takes!
I can
practically taste
that hearty
coleslaw right now.
♪ And I've been
takin' care of business ♪
♪ Every day ♪
♪ Takin' care of business ♪
♪ Every way I've been
Takin' care of business ♪
♪ It's all mine
Takin' care of business ♪
♪ And workin' overtime ♪
♪ Work it out ♪
[♪♪♪]
Oh, my stars!
You boys have done
so much work around here!
It looks like
a whole new Cheezers!
TOGETHER [TIREDLY]:
Thanks.
How much more stuff do we
have to do to be V.I.P.s?
Oh, just 65
little ol' things!
Ugh! Come on!
Are you serious?!
It kinda feels like we're
doing all your chores for you.
There's got to be a shortcut
to being V.I.P.
[CHANTING]
Shortcut! Shortcut! Shortcut!
Boys, I know this is hard,
but you got to keep
your eyes on the prize.
Now do you or do you not
want that succulent
Pork Pic-nic sandwich?
ALL:
Yes.
Where are your manners?
ALL:
Yes, ma'am.
There they are!
Now, there's an overflowing
grease trap that's lardin' up.
Y'all better
get on that.
And don't forget
to lock up!
Good luck!
[TIRES SCREECH]
Whoo-hoo!
I really don't like her.
This sandwich
better be worth it.
[RUSSIAN ACCENT]
Oh, but it's totally worth it.
[GASPS]
I heard you.
You are all
on verge of giving up.
And why not?
These chores
will go forever.
What?
The hostess
is playing you for fools.
Giving you run around.
You're normies.
No reserved table for you.
No tater tots.
No limited-edition
sandwiches.
Not astronaut.
Human garbage.
That's a little hurtful.
She is your enemy.
If you want to be a V.I.P.,
there is another way that will
challenge you to your core.
Or you could just give up.
We've come this far.
We're not giving up.
What do we
have to do?
I cannot say.
I can only show you.
Will you meet me here
at 2:00 a.m.?
Good.
Heh, heh, heh...
[CHUCKLING EVILLY]
HI FIVE:
Are we sure about this?
Yeah, this seems like
some sort of shady astronaut
underbelly of some sort.
You guys want
to become V.I.P.s
and eat that
sandwich, don't you?
Ah, good.
You came.
This way.
[♪♪♪]
So, what is it?
Munster.
[CHANTING]
Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!
So, do we have to eat that,
or...?
Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!
Fine, we'll eat it.
[CHOMPS]
Wait, this isn't even Muenster!
It's cheddar.
That is munster's food.
[♪♪♪]
What's that?!
Uhh...
[GRUNTS]
[ALL YELL]
[THUDS]
[ALL GROANING]
ALL:
Huh?
[♪♪♪]
What the heck, man?!
I thought you were gonna
show us how to be V.I.P.?!
If you want to be V.I.P.s,
you have to defeat the munster!
What are you
talking about?
[GROWLING, SNARLING]
[SNARLS]
[SCREAMING]
Ohhh! "Monster," not Muenster!
I get it now.
Aaaah!
[ROARS]
[ALL BREATHING HEAVILY]
Yeaaagh!
[MONSTER ROARS]
[GURGLING, SNARLING]
[CHAIN RATTLING]
He's at the end
of his line!
[SNARLING CONTINUES]
Over there!
ALL:
Ohhhh!
Huh? Whoa!
Eat this! Hwah!
["YANKEE DOODLE" PLAYS]
Yeah!
Whoo! America!
MORDECAI:
Rigby!
What's that?
We found a jetpack
in the pile!
We're gonna use it
to fly out of here!
You really think that thing's
gonna carry us all?
I mean, we've got
to try something.
Everyone get on!
[GRUNTING]
[GROWLING]
ALL:
Aaaah!
[MONSTER SNARLING]
What're we gonna do?!
[SNARLS]
We've got to
get it under there.
Grab that American flag gun.
[MONSTER ROARS]
You guys, lure it over there!
On it!
Yoo-hoo!
Over here!
You want some of this?
Come on!
Glk! [COUGHS]
[ROARS]
Aaah!
Okay, aim at the grate!
MUSCLE MAN: Bros!
Mission accomplished!
[PANTING]
[ROARS]
[GRATE CREAKING]
Rigby!
Shoot now!
Choke on democracy!
[THUDS]
[SCREECHES]
[THUDS]
["YANKEE DOODLE" PLAYS]
[CHANTING]
V.I.P.! V.I.P.! V.I.P.!
Huh?
What the...?
[ALL CHEERING]
You did it.
You are now...
V.I.P.s!
What?!
Becca?!
Oh, my gosh.
You completed the final task.
Congratulations!
You were
the astronaut?
Not just that.
Aaah!
I was the monster, too!
Wha-- bu--
How did you...?
You see, that's what
being V.I.P.s
is all about.
It's not just about
being an astronaut.
It's about workin' hard
to earn your place
among the cream
of the crop.
And you boys are definitely
the cream of the crop.
We did it!
We're V.I.P.!
All right!
Its over!
It's finally over!
ALL:
Yeah! You did it, buddy!
Whoo!
[♪♪♪]
Mmm-mmm.
And it was the best day
of our lives.
That's a really
roundabout way
to tell me you want
to go to Cheezers.
[♪♪♪]
[BEATBOXING]
[BEATBOXING CONTINUES]
♪ Classic grilled cheese
Add bacon if you please ♪
♪ If you want it come and get it
'Cause we'll eat it in breeze! ♪
♪ Got bread ♪
♪ Times two ♪
♪ Got cheese ♪
♪ Por vous ♪
♪ Got that bacon
That'll make you go ♪
ALL:
♪ Oooooh! ♪
BOTH:
♪ Bacon! Ba-ba-ba-bacon! ♪
♪ Ba-ba-ba-bacon!
Ba-ba-ba-bacon! ♪
Are you all done, sir?
Yeah we're done.
[SIGHS]
I guess we should head back.
Not to be rude, but, uh--
hmm, how do I say this...
Your hands are
really gross, bro.
What?
If you're gonna shove it
down my throat, Fives...
Sorry.
I'd want someone to tell me.
I'll just use one of these moist
towelettes, and it will be fine.
Aaah!
Huh?
I'm sorry, but these are
for V.I.P. members only.
V.I.P. member?
'Scuse me.
V.I.P. coming through.
[TWINKLES]
Thanks, Rick.
Here's your complimentary
V.I.P. merchandise.
Later, normies.
ALL:
Whoa.
And that sweet merch
and moist towelettes
aren't the only thing you get
from being a V.I.P.
You get table reservations
in the V.I.P. room.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
ALL:
Ooh!
Complimentary tater tots.
ALL:
Ahhh!
50% off anything in
the Cheezers gift shop.
[ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYING]
Cool! Look at that stuff!
Is that a Cheezers umbrella?
But the best perk is,
if you present
your V.I.P. card,
you get access to
our exclusive new sandwich,
the "Pork Picnic"!
[PIG OINKS]
COWBOY:
Slow-cooked baked beans,
hearty coleslaw,
and 3 different types of
barbecued pulled pork...
[SQUELCHES]
Mmm-mmm!
Now, that's
lip-lickin' good.
It's available for only
one week, for V.I.P.s only,
and will never be released
to the public!
Bros! Huddle.
I don't want to
assume anything,
but we're totally gonna
become V.I.P.s
and eat that sandwich,
right?
Definitely.
No question.
So, how do we
become V.I.P.s?
There are two ways
you can become a V.I.P.
Be an astronaut, or you've
got to prove you're worthy.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong,
but are y'all astronauts?
Well, no.
That's what I thought.
Normie scum.
Hey! Listen lady,
we can be V.I.P.s
just like a lousy
astronaut, okay?
Man, I'm sick of
these astronauts
coasting through life, getting
free handouts all the time!
So, I guess you'll just need
to just get to a computer,
go online,
and fill out the form
to begin the grueling
application process, scum!
Dude, what the heck?
Maybe it isn't worth it.
[CHOMPS]
Mmm!
Aw, man, it sure tastes good
to be a V.I.P.
[ALL MOANING]
We got to get
to a computer!
[ALL PANTING]
POPS:
Hmm...Hmm, hmm.
"H," "U," "M,"
"M" again, "I," "N"...
Look, Pops! We need the
computer to fill out a form!
Oh! I won't be long.
Lets see...
Lost my train of thought.
"H"...
[ALL GROAN]
U-M-M-I-N-G B-I-R-D!
Done!
Thank you, Mitch.
[CLICKING]
All done.
The computer is yours.
Thanks, Pops.
Okay. It took six hours, but
we finally finished the form.
Okay. So, we've got
applications for Mordecai,
Rigby, Muscle Man,
and Hi Five Ghost.
All right. You boys
are officially V.I.P.s...
All right!
Yeah, we are!
Pork picnic, here we come!
...as soon as you put all these
fliers on the cars outside
under the hot,
blisterin' sun.
What?! But I thought
the application was
the last thing
we had to do!
Oh, honey, I would never
say something like that.
I'm not sure if this is a good
return on our investment, guys.
Well, that's fine,
if you really don't want
the Pork Picnic sandwich,
available to
V.I.P.s only,
with our patented three
types of dipping sauce.
The real chance
of a lifetime.
Okay, we'll do it!
We'll do whatever it takes!
I can
practically taste
that hearty
coleslaw right now.
♪ And I've been
takin' care of business ♪
♪ Every day ♪
♪ Takin' care of business ♪
♪ Every way I've been
Takin' care of business ♪
♪ It's all mine
Takin' care of business ♪
♪ And workin' overtime ♪
♪ Work it out ♪
[♪♪♪]
Oh, my stars!
You boys have done
so much work around here!
It looks like
a whole new Cheezers!
TOGETHER [TIREDLY]:
Thanks.
How much more stuff do we
have to do to be V.I.P.s?
Oh, just 65
little ol' things!
Ugh! Come on!
Are you serious?!
It kinda feels like we're
doing all your chores for you.
There's got to be a shortcut
to being V.I.P.
[CHANTING]
Shortcut! Shortcut! Shortcut!
Boys, I know this is hard,
but you got to keep
your eyes on the prize.
Now do you or do you not
want that succulent
Pork Pic-nic sandwich?
ALL:
Yes.
Where are your manners?
ALL:
Yes, ma'am.
There they are!
Now, there's an overflowing
grease trap that's lardin' up.
Y'all better
get on that.
And don't forget
to lock up!
Good luck!
[TIRES SCREECH]
Whoo-hoo!
I really don't like her.
This sandwich
better be worth it.
[RUSSIAN ACCENT]
Oh, but it's totally worth it.
[GASPS]
I heard you.
You are all
on verge of giving up.
And why not?
These chores
will go forever.
What?
The hostess
is playing you for fools.
Giving you run around.
You're normies.
No reserved table for you.
No tater tots.
No limited-edition
sandwiches.
Not astronaut.
Human garbage.
That's a little hurtful.
She is your enemy.
If you want to be a V.I.P.,
there is another way that will
challenge you to your core.
Or you could just give up.
We've come this far.
We're not giving up.
What do we
have to do?
I cannot say.
I can only show you.
Will you meet me here
at 2:00 a.m.?
Good.
Heh, heh, heh...
[CHUCKLING EVILLY]
HI FIVE:
Are we sure about this?
Yeah, this seems like
some sort of shady astronaut
underbelly of some sort.
You guys want
to become V.I.P.s
and eat that
sandwich, don't you?
Ah, good.
You came.
This way.
[♪♪♪]
So, what is it?
Munster.
[CHANTING]
Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!
So, do we have to eat that,
or...?
Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!
Fine, we'll eat it.
[CHOMPS]
Wait, this isn't even Muenster!
It's cheddar.
That is munster's food.
[♪♪♪]
What's that?!
Uhh...
[GRUNTS]
[ALL YELL]
[THUDS]
[ALL GROANING]
ALL:
Huh?
[♪♪♪]
What the heck, man?!
I thought you were gonna
show us how to be V.I.P.?!
If you want to be V.I.P.s,
you have to defeat the munster!
What are you
talking about?
[GROWLING, SNARLING]
[SNARLS]
[SCREAMING]
Ohhh! "Monster," not Muenster!
I get it now.
Aaaah!
[ROARS]
[ALL BREATHING HEAVILY]
Yeaaagh!
[MONSTER ROARS]
[GURGLING, SNARLING]
[CHAIN RATTLING]
He's at the end
of his line!
[SNARLING CONTINUES]
Over there!
ALL:
Ohhhh!
Huh? Whoa!
Eat this! Hwah!
["YANKEE DOODLE" PLAYS]
Yeah!
Whoo! America!
MORDECAI:
Rigby!
What's that?
We found a jetpack
in the pile!
We're gonna use it
to fly out of here!
You really think that thing's
gonna carry us all?
I mean, we've got
to try something.
Everyone get on!
[GRUNTING]
[GROWLING]
ALL:
Aaaah!
[MONSTER SNARLING]
What're we gonna do?!
[SNARLS]
We've got to
get it under there.
Grab that American flag gun.
[MONSTER ROARS]
You guys, lure it over there!
On it!
Yoo-hoo!
Over here!
You want some of this?
Come on!
Glk! [COUGHS]
[ROARS]
Aaah!
Okay, aim at the grate!
MUSCLE MAN: Bros!
Mission accomplished!
[PANTING]
[ROARS]
[GRATE CREAKING]
Rigby!
Shoot now!
Choke on democracy!
[THUDS]
[SCREECHES]
[THUDS]
["YANKEE DOODLE" PLAYS]
[CHANTING]
V.I.P.! V.I.P.! V.I.P.!
Huh?
What the...?
[ALL CHEERING]
You did it.
You are now...
V.I.P.s!
What?!
Becca?!
Oh, my gosh.
You completed the final task.
Congratulations!
You were
the astronaut?
Not just that.
Aaah!
I was the monster, too!
Wha-- bu--
How did you...?
You see, that's what
being V.I.P.s
is all about.
It's not just about
being an astronaut.
It's about workin' hard
to earn your place
among the cream
of the crop.
And you boys are definitely
the cream of the crop.
We did it!
We're V.I.P.!
All right!
Its over!
It's finally over!
ALL:
Yeah! You did it, buddy!
Whoo!
[♪♪♪]
Mmm-mmm.
And it was the best day
of our lives.
That's a really
roundabout way
to tell me you want
to go to Cheezers.
[♪♪♪]