Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 7, Episode 27 - Rigby Goes to the Prom - full transcript
Rigby Wants to take Elieen to his school prom.
[♪♪♪]
[BELL RINGS]
I cannot wait
for prom.
Oh, I know.
I hope Alvy asks me.
Ew!
Alvy Scimmelphening?
What?
I think he's cute.
What about you,
Rigby?
Did you ask your
girlfriend to prom?
Yeah.
Was it
romantic?
It was
totally romantic.
[♪♪♪]
Hey, you wanna go
with me to prom?
Like, as a chaperone?
No, as my date.
Oh, totally.
I never got to go
since no one ever asked me.
Nice.
ALL:
Aww!
So, what kind of ride
we talking here?
Limo? Hog? Hot rod?
What?
Oh, uh, we're
just gonna take the bus.
[LAUGHTER]
Good one, bro.
If somebody actually
showed up in a bus,
they'd look
like such a loser.
Man, Rigby's jokes
are so good.
[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]
Yep. Another one of my jokes.
Hey, Skips.
Can I borrow
your car for prom?
It's a van.
And no.
Hmm...let me think.
No!
No.
You know I don't have a car.
Sure,
anything for my big bro.
Give me some sugar first!
[SIGHS]
Mm.
There's just one problemo.
You totaled my car
last week.
Aah! You mean I just gave you
sugar for nothing?
Yeah. I've been riding the old
"recumbo" to work every day.
I got to say, it's working
miracles on my calves.
[SIGHS]
Well, great.
You were my last shot.
There goes prom.
Thanks for nothing.
Hey.
Hey, hold up.
There's someone you could ask.
No.
-Bro...
-No!
-Bro...
-No!
[♪♪♪]
No.
Bro.
Would you two
pipe down?!
I'm trying to polish
my picture of my prized car!
What a surprise
for you boys to drop in.
"Drop in." Ha!
You really think Rigby
would just come to dinner?
I know
you just need something.
Oh, hush, Sherm.
So, how are things at work?
Great! We just picked up
Cheezers as a new client.
That's our Donny!
I ate at Cheezers
yesterday.
That was
a good update, Don.
[MUNCHING]
Yeah, so, anyway...
I just got all my credits
for high school.
Yep.
Getting ready to graduate.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Moving up.
Accomplishing stuff.
[GRUNTS] In fact, I'm, uh,
actually going to prom...
With Eileen.
You know Eileen.
Yeah, and?
That's it.
[GRUNTS]
And I was wondering
if I could borrow your car.
[LAUGHS]
Oh!
There it is!
Now it comes out.
See, Barbara?
Of course
he needs something.
No! You cannot borrow
my prized 1964 luxury sedan!
Aah!
This is so typical!
You care more about that dumb
car than you care about me!
That's it!
Go to your room!
Fine!
[DOOR SLAMS]
So, Don,
ready for some dessert?
[SIGHS]
Rigby, you know this is
a walk-in closet now.
I know.
I brought
some tissues.
I'm not crying.
Oh, good.
[SIGHS]
Why does dad still have to be
such a jerk all the time?
It's just, neither me
or Eileen went to prom,
and I want to make it
special.
Hmm...
All right.
I'll make you a deal.
[GASPS]
No scratches,
and I'm not involved.
Thanks, mom.
You show that girl
a good time.
I will, mom.
[♪♪♪]
Wow! Hydrangea Macrophylla --
my favorite.
Whoa. Who lent you
that thing?
My dad.
Pretty cool, right?
Wow.
That was nice of him.
Let's go crazy
like teens!
[CHUCKLES]
But not too crazy, you know,
'cause of my Dad's car.
Hmm?
[♪♪♪]
Now, be careful.
Come on.
Let's have fun!
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[LAUGHTER]
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
[SLOW MUSIC PLAYS]
[FUNK MUSIC PLAYS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHTER]
Hey, Rigbone.
Yeah, Jablonski?
A bunch of us are gonna go
hang out at Lookout Mountain.
See you there.
Cool.
Ooh, Lookout Mountain.
That sounds fun, huh?
Hmm?
Let's go get the car!
The car...
Oh, right.
Argh!
Darn tiny TV!
Can't fix it!
Why can't you be more
like your brother,
the big TV downstairs?
Sherm, I can't help
but hear some metaphors
in your insane ranting.
Barb, you're killing me
with this psychobabble.
I'm gonna go get my 318.
[♪♪♪]
Rigby!
Are you okay? It looks
like you're stewing.
Rigby, please tell me
what you're stewing about.
My Dad didn't
loan me the car.
What? You didn't...
steal it, did you?
No, my Mom
gave me the keys.
But it's my Dad,
you know?
He doesn't trust me
with anything.
I was hoping he'd finally
be ready to see me
as a real person.
It's always Don, car,
everything else, me.
I know how you feel.
my Mom can get pushy, too.
But she still cares.
I'm sure your Dad cares, too.
There's no way this is
more important to him
than your happiness.
[ALL GASP]
Where's my car?!
It's the most
important thing to me!
[PANTING]
Where's Rigby?!
[PANTING]
You seen Rigby?!
I'm his father!
He's the grown adult
who goes to school!
Useless!
Where's Rigby?!
Who let a homeless guy in here?
I'm his father!
WOMAN: He's not wearing pants...
I'm his father!
Where's Rigby?
Rigby was here?
Ugh, I give him
all his credits
and I still can't
get rid of him?!
BOTH:
I can't stand him!
Aaaaah!
So, do you like prom?
Where's Rigby?!
I'm gonna kill him!
Oh, please be careful.
this is my Dad's suit.
He cherishes it, but he let me
borrow it just for tonight
because he really,
really loves me.
You're not making any sense!
Where's my son?!
I-I-I-I-I-I-I think he and the
guys went to Lookout Mountain.
[GROWLING]
Take me there.
[THUD!]
[THUD!]
Yes, this never gets old!
[GRUNTS]
Do you ever look out
at the night sky
and think about
how each one of those stars
represents the infinite
possibilities of our lives?
Why, yes, Tony, I do.
Shove it, Tony.
[LAUGHTER]
Yo, Rigby, sweet wheels.
They yours, bro?
Uh...
[ENGINE REVS]
No, they're my wheels!
[GROWLS]
Dad, what are you
doing here?!
I'm taking back my stolen car
from my no-good son!
Why is Rigby's Dad
in his underwear?
You kids,
get off my car.
You two,
get in.
Prom is over!
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
ALL: Aah!
Bye, Rigby.
Uh, good luck, man.
[TIRES SQUEAL, ENGINE REVS]
Rigby...
[LAUGHING MENACINGLY]
Oh, Rigby.
Eileen,
close your ears.
I always knew
you were a liar and loser,
but I never thought
you'd be a thief.
I guess I shouldn't
be surprised.
Seems like every day
you find some new way
to mess up our lives.
And now you've found someone new
to mess up their life, too!
What?
You heard me!
Look out!
[TIRES SCREECH]
Aaaah!
[BOTH STAMMERING]
[CRASH]
Oh, no! Oh, no!
No! Aah!
I'm just gonna go ahead
and take these off now.
Rigby!
Oh, no.
this is really high.
Dad, give me the wheel!
Rigby, now's not the time to --
Aah! Rigby!
Look what you did
to the windshield.
Dad, are you serious
right now?
Dad, I do stuff like this
all the time.
Just let me help.
Of course you do
stuff like this
all the time. [GASPING]
It's, uh...uh...
It's your fault we're here
in the first place!
[STAMMERS]
Dad, stop!
It doesn't matter if I ever
get a big job or my G.E.D.
You're still never gonna
trust me, and that's on you!
You're so focused on
your car, you never
noticed me growing up.
Also, it's totally your fault
'cause you were the one driving
and you weren't
watching the road!
Now, give me the wheel!
No, it's my car!
You'll crash it!
[GRUNTS]
Give it!
[GRUNTS]
Eileen, you, too?
I'm doing this
for your own good.
[GRUNTS]
No!
Thanks, Eileen.
[GASPING]
I promise
I won't mess this up.
[ALL SCREAMING]
[TIRES SCREECH]
[ALL SCREAMING]
Aah!
Go left! Go left!
Aah! Not right!
Aah!
ALL:
Whoa!
[THUD!]
[CHEERING]
Aah! Huh?
Uh...
[LAUGHS]
Go, go, go!
[SCRAPE]
[RUMBLING]
[ALL SCREAMING]
[THUDDING]
[GROANS]
Rigby...
[GASPS]
The car!
Forget about the car.
Are you okay?
Um, yeah.
Eileen, you okay?
Yeah.
Eileen,
did you have a good time?
Oh, Rigby!
That was the best and only
prom I've ever been to!
What you did back there
was really impressive, Rigby.
I mean,
it showed initiative.
Maybe you have changed.
So, uh...
I guess you can borrow
the car whenever you want.
Thanks, Dad.
I should probably get
a driver's license first.
[CRASH]
[♪♪♪]
[BELL RINGS]
I cannot wait
for prom.
Oh, I know.
I hope Alvy asks me.
Ew!
Alvy Scimmelphening?
What?
I think he's cute.
What about you,
Rigby?
Did you ask your
girlfriend to prom?
Yeah.
Was it
romantic?
It was
totally romantic.
[♪♪♪]
Hey, you wanna go
with me to prom?
Like, as a chaperone?
No, as my date.
Oh, totally.
I never got to go
since no one ever asked me.
Nice.
ALL:
Aww!
So, what kind of ride
we talking here?
Limo? Hog? Hot rod?
What?
Oh, uh, we're
just gonna take the bus.
[LAUGHTER]
Good one, bro.
If somebody actually
showed up in a bus,
they'd look
like such a loser.
Man, Rigby's jokes
are so good.
[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]
Yep. Another one of my jokes.
Hey, Skips.
Can I borrow
your car for prom?
It's a van.
And no.
Hmm...let me think.
No!
No.
You know I don't have a car.
Sure,
anything for my big bro.
Give me some sugar first!
[SIGHS]
Mm.
There's just one problemo.
You totaled my car
last week.
Aah! You mean I just gave you
sugar for nothing?
Yeah. I've been riding the old
"recumbo" to work every day.
I got to say, it's working
miracles on my calves.
[SIGHS]
Well, great.
You were my last shot.
There goes prom.
Thanks for nothing.
Hey.
Hey, hold up.
There's someone you could ask.
No.
-Bro...
-No!
-Bro...
-No!
[♪♪♪]
No.
Bro.
Would you two
pipe down?!
I'm trying to polish
my picture of my prized car!
What a surprise
for you boys to drop in.
"Drop in." Ha!
You really think Rigby
would just come to dinner?
I know
you just need something.
Oh, hush, Sherm.
So, how are things at work?
Great! We just picked up
Cheezers as a new client.
That's our Donny!
I ate at Cheezers
yesterday.
That was
a good update, Don.
[MUNCHING]
Yeah, so, anyway...
I just got all my credits
for high school.
Yep.
Getting ready to graduate.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Moving up.
Accomplishing stuff.
[GRUNTS] In fact, I'm, uh,
actually going to prom...
With Eileen.
You know Eileen.
Yeah, and?
That's it.
[GRUNTS]
And I was wondering
if I could borrow your car.
[LAUGHS]
Oh!
There it is!
Now it comes out.
See, Barbara?
Of course
he needs something.
No! You cannot borrow
my prized 1964 luxury sedan!
Aah!
This is so typical!
You care more about that dumb
car than you care about me!
That's it!
Go to your room!
Fine!
[DOOR SLAMS]
So, Don,
ready for some dessert?
[SIGHS]
Rigby, you know this is
a walk-in closet now.
I know.
I brought
some tissues.
I'm not crying.
Oh, good.
[SIGHS]
Why does dad still have to be
such a jerk all the time?
It's just, neither me
or Eileen went to prom,
and I want to make it
special.
Hmm...
All right.
I'll make you a deal.
[GASPS]
No scratches,
and I'm not involved.
Thanks, mom.
You show that girl
a good time.
I will, mom.
[♪♪♪]
Wow! Hydrangea Macrophylla --
my favorite.
Whoa. Who lent you
that thing?
My dad.
Pretty cool, right?
Wow.
That was nice of him.
Let's go crazy
like teens!
[CHUCKLES]
But not too crazy, you know,
'cause of my Dad's car.
Hmm?
[♪♪♪]
Now, be careful.
Come on.
Let's have fun!
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
[LAUGHTER]
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
[SLOW MUSIC PLAYS]
[FUNK MUSIC PLAYS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHTER]
Hey, Rigbone.
Yeah, Jablonski?
A bunch of us are gonna go
hang out at Lookout Mountain.
See you there.
Cool.
Ooh, Lookout Mountain.
That sounds fun, huh?
Hmm?
Let's go get the car!
The car...
Oh, right.
Argh!
Darn tiny TV!
Can't fix it!
Why can't you be more
like your brother,
the big TV downstairs?
Sherm, I can't help
but hear some metaphors
in your insane ranting.
Barb, you're killing me
with this psychobabble.
I'm gonna go get my 318.
[♪♪♪]
Rigby!
Are you okay? It looks
like you're stewing.
Rigby, please tell me
what you're stewing about.
My Dad didn't
loan me the car.
What? You didn't...
steal it, did you?
No, my Mom
gave me the keys.
But it's my Dad,
you know?
He doesn't trust me
with anything.
I was hoping he'd finally
be ready to see me
as a real person.
It's always Don, car,
everything else, me.
I know how you feel.
my Mom can get pushy, too.
But she still cares.
I'm sure your Dad cares, too.
There's no way this is
more important to him
than your happiness.
[ALL GASP]
Where's my car?!
It's the most
important thing to me!
[PANTING]
Where's Rigby?!
[PANTING]
You seen Rigby?!
I'm his father!
He's the grown adult
who goes to school!
Useless!
Where's Rigby?!
Who let a homeless guy in here?
I'm his father!
WOMAN: He's not wearing pants...
I'm his father!
Where's Rigby?
Rigby was here?
Ugh, I give him
all his credits
and I still can't
get rid of him?!
BOTH:
I can't stand him!
Aaaaah!
So, do you like prom?
Where's Rigby?!
I'm gonna kill him!
Oh, please be careful.
this is my Dad's suit.
He cherishes it, but he let me
borrow it just for tonight
because he really,
really loves me.
You're not making any sense!
Where's my son?!
I-I-I-I-I-I-I think he and the
guys went to Lookout Mountain.
[GROWLING]
Take me there.
[THUD!]
[THUD!]
Yes, this never gets old!
[GRUNTS]
Do you ever look out
at the night sky
and think about
how each one of those stars
represents the infinite
possibilities of our lives?
Why, yes, Tony, I do.
Shove it, Tony.
[LAUGHTER]
Yo, Rigby, sweet wheels.
They yours, bro?
Uh...
[ENGINE REVS]
No, they're my wheels!
[GROWLS]
Dad, what are you
doing here?!
I'm taking back my stolen car
from my no-good son!
Why is Rigby's Dad
in his underwear?
You kids,
get off my car.
You two,
get in.
Prom is over!
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
ALL: Aah!
Bye, Rigby.
Uh, good luck, man.
[TIRES SQUEAL, ENGINE REVS]
Rigby...
[LAUGHING MENACINGLY]
Oh, Rigby.
Eileen,
close your ears.
I always knew
you were a liar and loser,
but I never thought
you'd be a thief.
I guess I shouldn't
be surprised.
Seems like every day
you find some new way
to mess up our lives.
And now you've found someone new
to mess up their life, too!
What?
You heard me!
Look out!
[TIRES SCREECH]
Aaaah!
[BOTH STAMMERING]
[CRASH]
Oh, no! Oh, no!
No! Aah!
I'm just gonna go ahead
and take these off now.
Rigby!
Oh, no.
this is really high.
Dad, give me the wheel!
Rigby, now's not the time to --
Aah! Rigby!
Look what you did
to the windshield.
Dad, are you serious
right now?
Dad, I do stuff like this
all the time.
Just let me help.
Of course you do
stuff like this
all the time. [GASPING]
It's, uh...uh...
It's your fault we're here
in the first place!
[STAMMERS]
Dad, stop!
It doesn't matter if I ever
get a big job or my G.E.D.
You're still never gonna
trust me, and that's on you!
You're so focused on
your car, you never
noticed me growing up.
Also, it's totally your fault
'cause you were the one driving
and you weren't
watching the road!
Now, give me the wheel!
No, it's my car!
You'll crash it!
[GRUNTS]
Give it!
[GRUNTS]
Eileen, you, too?
I'm doing this
for your own good.
[GRUNTS]
No!
Thanks, Eileen.
[GASPING]
I promise
I won't mess this up.
[ALL SCREAMING]
[TIRES SCREECH]
[ALL SCREAMING]
Aah!
Go left! Go left!
Aah! Not right!
Aah!
ALL:
Whoa!
[THUD!]
[CHEERING]
Aah! Huh?
Uh...
[LAUGHS]
Go, go, go!
[SCRAPE]
[RUMBLING]
[ALL SCREAMING]
[THUDDING]
[GROANS]
Rigby...
[GASPS]
The car!
Forget about the car.
Are you okay?
Um, yeah.
Eileen, you okay?
Yeah.
Eileen,
did you have a good time?
Oh, Rigby!
That was the best and only
prom I've ever been to!
What you did back there
was really impressive, Rigby.
I mean,
it showed initiative.
Maybe you have changed.
So, uh...
I guess you can borrow
the car whenever you want.
Thanks, Dad.
I should probably get
a driver's license first.
[CRASH]
[♪♪♪]