Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 7, Episode 28 - The Button - full transcript
The Button: The guys have to protect a large red button from being pushed. / Favorite Shirt: Mordecai, Rigby, and High Five Ghost have to somehow get Muscle Man's favorite shirt back on him before he wakes up.
[♪♪♪]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[HUMMING]
[♪♪♪]
[RUMBLING]
Wha--?
[GRUNTS]
Aah!
Oh!
Wha--?
Huh?
BOTH:
Earthquake!
It's in filing cabinet.
[WHISTLES TWEETING]
[GULPING]
[PANTING]
What are you guys--?
Aah!
We did it.
We survived the earthquake.
BOTH:
Yeah!
[GROANS]
Outside, now!
All right,
aftermath meeting.
Pops, you look
for fallen branches.
Skips, I need you
to get a new earthquake kit.
That's not happening.
[SIGHS]
Look, I know it's
a 45-minute drive, but they--
Look up.
[♪♪♪]
No. No.
No!
I thought
we got rid of this thing.
LANGER:
Hello, gentlemen.
We are back,
here to do some more
experiments. Heh.
Nothing deadly.
Nothing too deadly.
I am Dr. Rueben Langer,
but you may call me Dr. Langer.
We're--
No need to introduce yourselves.
We still have all the data
from the first dome experiment.
Please just tell us
what's going on.
Why'd you trap us
in the dome again, bro?
Don't worry.
You're not trapped this time.
That was phase one.
Check it out.
Phase two!
Garage door.
In and out, no problem.
What are we supposed to do
this time?
Just act normal.
My scientists
will observe you.
Oh! And one more thing.
[WHISTLES]
[CRANE WHIRRING]
No matter what happens,
don't push this button.
[ALL MURMURING]
Mr. Maellard and I
are counting on all of you.
Especially you.
Wh--? Me? Whoa.
Remember, don't press the button
no matter how much you want to.
Langer out!
Well, that was unsettling.
All right,
you heard the doctor.
We're just gonna
have to take shifts
making sure
nobody presses this button.
Come on. Do we really
have to sit here
and guard some button
no one wants to push?
Look, I don't like it either,
but sometimes
you have to
blindly follow orders.
[ALL GROAN, THEN CHATTER]
[♪♪♪]
[YAWNS]
[♪♪♪]
Morning, everyone.
Today's button-guarding
shifts are as follows--
[GROANS]
It's been three days.
I'm sick of
guarding that thing.
It feels like
we're wasting our time.
We are wasting our time.
We don't even know
why we're doing this.
Listen, I'm just as annoyed
and confused as you are, okay?
I don't know any more
than you guys do, remember?
Shouldn't it be
your job to know?
That's not how it works.
[IMITATING BENSON]
Hi. I'm Benson.
Oh, really?
What do you do?
Oh, I do whatever
the creepy stranger
with the eyepatch
tells me.
Come on.
Give me some credit.
[GRUNTS]
I can't take this anymore.
I'm gonna push it.
[SQUEALING]
Stop!
[GRUNTS]
[ALL GASP]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Muscle Man,
chill!
[GRUNTING]
[SIGHS]
I'm cool.
[GRUNTS, PANTING]
Sorry, dudes.
I just lost my head
for a second.
Something about that button.
[♪♪♪]
All right,
this has gone far enough.
I'm gonna talk
to Mr. Maellard.
Finally!
BENSON:
Don't do anything
until I get back!
Well, now what?
[SCIENTIST SNEEZES]
Ahem, would you like
a tissue?
What are you guys
taking notes about?
Those guys take notes
about everything. Watch.
[GRUNTING]
See?
Hey, I've got my rights, bro.
[SQUEALING]
I'm not gonna live
in a surveillance state.
Uh, oh, uh--
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[♪♪♪]
I got one!
Thank you, Mr. Maellard.
That was a good chat.
Benson!
How are you, buddy?
Wait. What were you talking
to Maellard about?
Uh, that's on
a need-to-know basis.
You should probably
get back to the park
to guard that button.
Okay? All right.
Have a good one.
[CHUCKLING]
Watch your back.
Just kidding!
Heh-heh-heh.
Maybe, though.
Hmm?
[SIGHS]
Hey, Mr. Maellard?
You have to keep guarding
the button, Benson.
What?
How did you--?
No, but I--
Then can you please
just explain
why any of this
is happening?
I'm trying
to be a good manager,
but I can't if I'm being
kept in the dark.
You be a good manager
by following orders, Benson.
Follow your orders!
I'm sick of just
following orders.
You're just sitting here
with your big desk
and your fancy office.
[SIGHS]
You know what, Benson?
You're right.
You're the park manager,
not Langer.
So if you want, push it.
Push the button.
What? What's gonna happen?
Mm, maybe something good,
maybe something bad.
Maybe this is all a test.
Wha--?
Well, all right, then.
I'm gonna go push the button,
because I am in control.
MUSCLE MAN:
All right, Mr. Note,
why you got us
guarding that button?
I'll never tell!
All right, maybe this will
make you change your mind.
[GRUNTS]
Wha--? Oh, no.
You've been watching us.
So you know
exactly how long it's been
since he's washed that.
Aah! No! It smells like
a rotten hamburger
left in someone's desk
as a prank!
Fine. I'll tell you.
It's-- It's a test.
A test?
Dr. Langer doesn't think
you can handle
a simple task.
Not with Mordecai's self-doubt,
Rigby's laziness,
Skips' checkered past,
Muscle Man's bad hygiene,
Pops' childlike tendencies,
and Benson's insecurity.
Fives is the only logical one,
and even he left it unguarded.
Uh, thanks?
The point is,
if the button gets pressed,
Benson gets fired,
and Langer gets put in charge.
And you do not want that.
Why not?
Because terrible things
will happen.
[ALL GASP]
Wait.
Who's guarding
the button?
[♪♪♪]
[ALL PANTING]
What the--?
Nobody's guarding it?
Mordecai and Rigby!
[SIGHS]
Okay, I'm doing it.
I'm gonna press the...
button.
Don't push this button.
Second thought.
Maybe...
Fine. Push it.
Push the button.
As you know,
that's part of the test.
I played you for fools
and won.
Oh, my.
Test?
A test for what?
DR. DOME:
Test.
Benson, stop!
Get away from that button!
We've been talking
to the dome guys,
and it's a test!
VOICE:
Talking to the dome guys?
See? You can't trust them.
You guys are lying.
You're testing me too.
Benson!
[ALL GASP]
Now, I'm the boss here, so--
So I'm gonna make
a decision.
[♪♪♪]
MORDECAI:
Benson, we're your friends.
If you push that button,
Maellard's gonna--
[VOICE DISTORTS]
What?
Benson!
[VOICE DISTORTS]
What are they saying?
[VOICE DISTORTS]
BUTTON:
Doesn't matter
what they're saying, Benson.
They're just like
those dome guys.
They're trying
to trick you.
I... I need a minute
to think.
[BREATHING HEAVILY
IN SLOW MOTION]
[SCREAMS NORMALLY]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
[WHIRRING]
BUTTON:
Push the button, Benson.
Uh...I'm not sure
I should.
[GASPS]
[SCREAMS]
Come on, Benson.
I'll catch you.
BENSON:
No, I--! I shouldn't!
Push the button, Benson!
No!
I'm making this decision!
I'm not gonna
push the button!
[SCREAMING]
Are you okay?
Benson, you were--
[COUGHING]
Hello, gentlemen.
I see you didn't press
that button over there.
[CRANE WHIRRING]
Really impressed.
Great work.
Ten out of 10.
No one's dead, and that's
usually a good sign.
Hmm. 'Kay.
Just gonna go ahead and call out
what I'm feeling here.
You don't seem that jazzed.
We're not jazzed
'cause we're super confused.
We want answers!
Why were we guarding
that button?
It's a big test.
Why is the dome back?
Bigger test.
What does
the button do?
And why'd Mr. Maellard
say to press it?
Test, test, test.
Well, now what?
Great question.
Gonna answer it
with this trash bag.
Beeper for you, beeper for you,
you, beeper, beeper.
If the beeper beeps,
gonna need you to return
to the house immediately.
This is mandatory.
No questions asked.
Where's my beeper?
Benson, you get
one of these babies.
It's a strap-on
fax machine.
Keep that on you, and you'll get
very important dome orders.
[BEEPING]
Ooh! Here comes one now.
Four orders of crab rangoons
and a two-liter of diet cola?
Oop, I see
what's happening.
Funny story, actually.
That fax machine is one digit
off from Joe's Chow Mein.
[CHUCKLES]
It's actually pretty good.
I recommend it.
What's the point
of all this?
Got two super-cool words
for you, buddy.
Langer out!
You guys wanna go
get some Chinese food?
[♪♪♪]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[HUMMING]
[♪♪♪]
[RUMBLING]
Wha--?
[GRUNTS]
Aah!
Oh!
Wha--?
Huh?
BOTH:
Earthquake!
It's in filing cabinet.
[WHISTLES TWEETING]
[GULPING]
[PANTING]
What are you guys--?
Aah!
We did it.
We survived the earthquake.
BOTH:
Yeah!
[GROANS]
Outside, now!
All right,
aftermath meeting.
Pops, you look
for fallen branches.
Skips, I need you
to get a new earthquake kit.
That's not happening.
[SIGHS]
Look, I know it's
a 45-minute drive, but they--
Look up.
[♪♪♪]
No. No.
No!
I thought
we got rid of this thing.
LANGER:
Hello, gentlemen.
We are back,
here to do some more
experiments. Heh.
Nothing deadly.
Nothing too deadly.
I am Dr. Rueben Langer,
but you may call me Dr. Langer.
We're--
No need to introduce yourselves.
We still have all the data
from the first dome experiment.
Please just tell us
what's going on.
Why'd you trap us
in the dome again, bro?
Don't worry.
You're not trapped this time.
That was phase one.
Check it out.
Phase two!
Garage door.
In and out, no problem.
What are we supposed to do
this time?
Just act normal.
My scientists
will observe you.
Oh! And one more thing.
[WHISTLES]
[CRANE WHIRRING]
No matter what happens,
don't push this button.
[ALL MURMURING]
Mr. Maellard and I
are counting on all of you.
Especially you.
Wh--? Me? Whoa.
Remember, don't press the button
no matter how much you want to.
Langer out!
Well, that was unsettling.
All right,
you heard the doctor.
We're just gonna
have to take shifts
making sure
nobody presses this button.
Come on. Do we really
have to sit here
and guard some button
no one wants to push?
Look, I don't like it either,
but sometimes
you have to
blindly follow orders.
[ALL GROAN, THEN CHATTER]
[♪♪♪]
[YAWNS]
[♪♪♪]
Morning, everyone.
Today's button-guarding
shifts are as follows--
[GROANS]
It's been three days.
I'm sick of
guarding that thing.
It feels like
we're wasting our time.
We are wasting our time.
We don't even know
why we're doing this.
Listen, I'm just as annoyed
and confused as you are, okay?
I don't know any more
than you guys do, remember?
Shouldn't it be
your job to know?
That's not how it works.
[IMITATING BENSON]
Hi. I'm Benson.
Oh, really?
What do you do?
Oh, I do whatever
the creepy stranger
with the eyepatch
tells me.
Come on.
Give me some credit.
[GRUNTS]
I can't take this anymore.
I'm gonna push it.
[SQUEALING]
Stop!
[GRUNTS]
[ALL GASP]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Muscle Man,
chill!
[GRUNTING]
[SIGHS]
I'm cool.
[GRUNTS, PANTING]
Sorry, dudes.
I just lost my head
for a second.
Something about that button.
[♪♪♪]
All right,
this has gone far enough.
I'm gonna talk
to Mr. Maellard.
Finally!
BENSON:
Don't do anything
until I get back!
Well, now what?
[SCIENTIST SNEEZES]
Ahem, would you like
a tissue?
What are you guys
taking notes about?
Those guys take notes
about everything. Watch.
[GRUNTING]
See?
Hey, I've got my rights, bro.
[SQUEALING]
I'm not gonna live
in a surveillance state.
Uh, oh, uh--
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[♪♪♪]
I got one!
Thank you, Mr. Maellard.
That was a good chat.
Benson!
How are you, buddy?
Wait. What were you talking
to Maellard about?
Uh, that's on
a need-to-know basis.
You should probably
get back to the park
to guard that button.
Okay? All right.
Have a good one.
[CHUCKLING]
Watch your back.
Just kidding!
Heh-heh-heh.
Maybe, though.
Hmm?
[SIGHS]
Hey, Mr. Maellard?
You have to keep guarding
the button, Benson.
What?
How did you--?
No, but I--
Then can you please
just explain
why any of this
is happening?
I'm trying
to be a good manager,
but I can't if I'm being
kept in the dark.
You be a good manager
by following orders, Benson.
Follow your orders!
I'm sick of just
following orders.
You're just sitting here
with your big desk
and your fancy office.
[SIGHS]
You know what, Benson?
You're right.
You're the park manager,
not Langer.
So if you want, push it.
Push the button.
What? What's gonna happen?
Mm, maybe something good,
maybe something bad.
Maybe this is all a test.
Wha--?
Well, all right, then.
I'm gonna go push the button,
because I am in control.
MUSCLE MAN:
All right, Mr. Note,
why you got us
guarding that button?
I'll never tell!
All right, maybe this will
make you change your mind.
[GRUNTS]
Wha--? Oh, no.
You've been watching us.
So you know
exactly how long it's been
since he's washed that.
Aah! No! It smells like
a rotten hamburger
left in someone's desk
as a prank!
Fine. I'll tell you.
It's-- It's a test.
A test?
Dr. Langer doesn't think
you can handle
a simple task.
Not with Mordecai's self-doubt,
Rigby's laziness,
Skips' checkered past,
Muscle Man's bad hygiene,
Pops' childlike tendencies,
and Benson's insecurity.
Fives is the only logical one,
and even he left it unguarded.
Uh, thanks?
The point is,
if the button gets pressed,
Benson gets fired,
and Langer gets put in charge.
And you do not want that.
Why not?
Because terrible things
will happen.
[ALL GASP]
Wait.
Who's guarding
the button?
[♪♪♪]
[ALL PANTING]
What the--?
Nobody's guarding it?
Mordecai and Rigby!
[SIGHS]
Okay, I'm doing it.
I'm gonna press the...
button.
Don't push this button.
Second thought.
Maybe...
Fine. Push it.
Push the button.
As you know,
that's part of the test.
I played you for fools
and won.
Oh, my.
Test?
A test for what?
DR. DOME:
Test.
Benson, stop!
Get away from that button!
We've been talking
to the dome guys,
and it's a test!
VOICE:
Talking to the dome guys?
See? You can't trust them.
You guys are lying.
You're testing me too.
Benson!
[ALL GASP]
Now, I'm the boss here, so--
So I'm gonna make
a decision.
[♪♪♪]
MORDECAI:
Benson, we're your friends.
If you push that button,
Maellard's gonna--
[VOICE DISTORTS]
What?
Benson!
[VOICE DISTORTS]
What are they saying?
[VOICE DISTORTS]
BUTTON:
Doesn't matter
what they're saying, Benson.
They're just like
those dome guys.
They're trying
to trick you.
I... I need a minute
to think.
[BREATHING HEAVILY
IN SLOW MOTION]
[SCREAMS NORMALLY]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
[WHIRRING]
BUTTON:
Push the button, Benson.
Uh...I'm not sure
I should.
[GASPS]
[SCREAMS]
Come on, Benson.
I'll catch you.
BENSON:
No, I--! I shouldn't!
Push the button, Benson!
No!
I'm making this decision!
I'm not gonna
push the button!
[SCREAMING]
Are you okay?
Benson, you were--
[COUGHING]
Hello, gentlemen.
I see you didn't press
that button over there.
[CRANE WHIRRING]
Really impressed.
Great work.
Ten out of 10.
No one's dead, and that's
usually a good sign.
Hmm. 'Kay.
Just gonna go ahead and call out
what I'm feeling here.
You don't seem that jazzed.
We're not jazzed
'cause we're super confused.
We want answers!
Why were we guarding
that button?
It's a big test.
Why is the dome back?
Bigger test.
What does
the button do?
And why'd Mr. Maellard
say to press it?
Test, test, test.
Well, now what?
Great question.
Gonna answer it
with this trash bag.
Beeper for you, beeper for you,
you, beeper, beeper.
If the beeper beeps,
gonna need you to return
to the house immediately.
This is mandatory.
No questions asked.
Where's my beeper?
Benson, you get
one of these babies.
It's a strap-on
fax machine.
Keep that on you, and you'll get
very important dome orders.
[BEEPING]
Ooh! Here comes one now.
Four orders of crab rangoons
and a two-liter of diet cola?
Oop, I see
what's happening.
Funny story, actually.
That fax machine is one digit
off from Joe's Chow Mein.
[CHUCKLES]
It's actually pretty good.
I recommend it.
What's the point
of all this?
Got two super-cool words
for you, buddy.
Langer out!
You guys wanna go
get some Chinese food?
[♪♪♪]