Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 7, Episode 18 - Snow Tubing - full transcript
Rigby tries to get Eileen to go snow tubing.
[♪♪♪]
EILEEN:
Here you go.
Two breakfasts
to go.
I put extra syrup
in your sausage
scrambler wrap, Rigby.
Just the way
you like it.
Sweet meat!
Aw, yeah!
So what do you guys have
planned for your day off?
Hm-hm!
Two words, six syllables.
BOTH:
Snow tu-tu-tu-tubing!
Snow tubing
is so awesome.
You go down the mountain,
and hit all these sweet jumps.
Yeah, last year,
I hit this snow bank so hard,
I almost flipped
over a boulder.
What about you, Eileen?
Got any crazy tubing stories?
Uh, I've actually
never been snow tubing.
[GASPS]
What?!
You've never been snow tubing?!
But you love the snow, and
you go tubing all the time.
Pool tubing is
an entirely different beast.
Same thing-- just more
thrills, chills, and spills.
But mostly spills.
We usually go up
to Canyon Run Mountain.
You should come.
You'd love it.
Oh, that sounds great,
but I have to work.
The coffee grinder's
been acting up
and the repair guy won't
be here for quite a while.
There's probably zero percent
chance I'll be able to go today.
But you guys have fun.
Oh, okay.
Well, don't work too hard.
See ya.
Later, Eileen.
Bye.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
Phew.
[SNORING]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Huh?
BOTH:
Surprise!
[YAWNS]
What are you guys doing here
at 6:00 in the morning?
Yeah.
We switched our day off so we
could go snow tubing today.
Now we can all
go together.
Snow tubing?
Whoa!
I haven't gone
since I was little.
Thrills, chills--
And don't forget the spills.
[LAUGHTER]
Uh, thanks, but I'm not sure
that I can make it.
I promised myself I would
clean out my fridge today.
What?
That can wait.
But my milk
is gonna expire soon.
The fun is gonna expire
if you don't come with us.
Yeah, I can help you with
the fridge when we get back.
Let's go, it'll be
really cool.
Well, all right.
TOGETHER:
Yeah!
Snow tubing,
snow tubing.
Can we get some sausage
scrambler wraps first?
So, you guys have been
here before, right?
Tons of times.
It's far,
but it's worth the trip.
Cannon Run Mountain
has the sickest slopes.
It snowed yesterday,
too.
I bet there's some
fresh powder on the mountain.
Aw, yeah!
Got to get me
some fresh pow-pow!
[LAUGHTER]
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Speaking of powder,
does anyone need
to use the powder room?
TOGETHER:
No.
You sure?
I want to hear you
individually.
No.
Wait, a powder room
is a bathroom, right?
Yeah.
No!
We've hit every bathroom
since we've left.
Oh, okay.
I got to go.
[TIRES SCREECH]
Man, these things
go right through me.
Hopefully, I don't have
to go to the bathroom again.
[SLURPING]
[ALL GROAN]
[♪♪♪]
We usually hit a ton of traffic
up here, but I know a short cut.
Take a right up here
at the fork.
A left?
No, a right.
Left, got it.
No, right-- Right!
Ugh.
Oh, sorry, I heard "left."
Well,
it's still pretty early.
We'll probably beat
the traffic?
[TIRES SCREECH]
[HORNS HONKING]
All right, unlock
the doors-- I'm walking.
Ugh, finally!
If we hurry, we can get 10 runs
in before it gets dark.
I say we get
some food first.
Can't go snow tubing
on an empty stomach.
Yeah,
I am pretty hungry.
I could eat.
But I want the pow-pow now-now!
[STOMACH RUMBLING]
Ah, stupid body.
Okay,
let's get some food.
Yeah, after the first
few runs, it's not so bad.
You'll go down
the mountain and be like,
"Duh, duh, duh, duh-duh.
What? You call those bumps?
I didn't feel a thing."
And if you go fast enough,
you'll feel wind on your face,
and everything is like,
"Sheew, sheew."
And you'll be like,
"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die!"
MORDECAI:
Oh, man, remember last year
when we talked Thomas
into going down
that double black...
I still don't know
why you picked
this old,
beat-up grandpa tube.
'Cause it's got
the most character.
Yeah, and
a bunch of holes.
[HISSING]
Aw, man.
Where are we gonna
get another tube?
I guess we'll have
to wait in line again.
[DRAMATIC NOTE PLAYS]
Well, good luck
with that.
We'll see you guys
up there.
Yeah, don't take
too long.
Oh, look, there's
a single-person tube!
Rigby, take that and
I'll catch up with you later.
No way--
I'm not going without you.
Don't be silly.
I don't mind. Honest.
I moved this whole trip
so we could go tubing together.
[SIGHS]
Come on,
it's getting dark.
If we hurry,
we can get two runs.
Keep it moving.
Keep it moving.
Oh, wait.
I forgot my-- agh!
Great view
up here, huh?
Oh, look-- here come
some people tubing.
[SCREAMING]
[GASPING]
You all right?
Just breathing in
the fresh mountain air.
It's gonna be fun.
It's gonna be fun.
Keep it moving.
Keep it moving.
[LAUGHS, GRUNTS]
Whoa!
[LAUGHS]
[SCREAMS]
I've made a mistake!
Whoa,
did you see that?
That guy must have
been going 50,
maybe 60 miles an hour!
With two people,
our tube is gonna go
way faster than that.
Keep it moving.
Can't back down now,
so keep it moving.
Here we go.
Front or back?
Back. Definitely back.
Okay,
knock yourself out.
What? Am I really
gonna knock myself out?
Well, you're in the back,
so maybe?
Oh, shoot, I left my scarf
on the chair lift.
I can't lose it.
It's a family heirloom.
The scarf that I bought you
that you're wearing?
Uh...
Wait!
Where are you going?
[PANTING]
Okay, ready?
Yep.
[PANTING]
Somebody's having fun.
Whoo, yeah!
So, yeah, I just
keep it moving all day.
What about you?
Do you keep it moving
around here often?
[PANTING]
Phew!
[GASPS]
Double black diamond?!
Wait, no!
Stop!
Turn this thing around!
I want to go down!
Eileen!
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTS]
[♪♪♪]
Eileen,
what are you doing?
I told you--
I'm getting my scarf!
Stop lying!
Just tell me what's wrong!
I'll tell you
what's wrong.
The thrills, the chills,
the spills--
Snow tubing
is not for me!
How do you know?
You've never tried it.
I did try it!
When I was little, I went
snow tubing with my dad.
We tried to hit a jump...
but the inertia
worked against us.
The cold air
felt like death on my face.
And then...
[GASPS]
That's when I got this!
[♪♪♪]
What am I looking
at exactly?
A scar. A bad one!
Oh.
Yeah, ever since then, I've
been afraid of snow tubing.
I was just too embarrassed
to tell you.
I didn't want
to ruin the trip.
I knew how much
it meant to you.
You shouldn't be
embarrassed.
I freak out over small
spaces all the time.
I'm not ashamed
of my mucastaphobia.
[GIGGLES]
Claustrophobia.
And you're right.
[♪♪♪]
I'm sorry I wasn't honest
with you from the start.
It's okay. I don't want
to make you do
something you
don't want to.
Ready to go back?
Hot chocolate's on me.
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, let's go.
Ooh, closing time.
So, you've, uh, seen
how I keep things moving.
Let me show you
how I slow things down.
[BUZZER]
Uh-oh.
No!
No, no, no! Hey!
We're up here!
Hello, anybody?!
Did you hear something?
[MUMBLES]
[LAUGHS]
Epic spills.
Hello!
Somebody, help!
Don't worry.
I'll just call Mordecai.
No service?
[GROANS]
[PANTING]
Wait, I got a bar.
Whoops.
Well, I needed
a new phone anyway.
[CHUCKLES]
[PANTING]
What are we gonna do?!
Hm-hm! There's only one way
out of this:
Snow tu-tu-tu-tubing.
Are you crazy?
A double black diamond
in the dark?
That's
a death sentence.
Look, Eileen,
I know we can do this.
I won't let
anything happen to you.
You just got
to trust me.
This is it.
Get ready
for thrills and chills.
And spills?
Not this time.
Hm-hm!
Okay, on three.
One, two...
[WIND HOWLS]
No, no, no!
[BOTH SCREAMING]
[♪♪♪]
[ROARS]
Keep it moving.
Trees!
[SCREAMING]
Rocks!
Grizzly bear!!
[SNARLS]
[BOTH SCREAMING]
Oh, no!
[BOTH SCREAMING]
[♪♪♪]
They should've been
back by now.
Do you think
they're okay?
I'm sure
they're fine.
Rigby knows this mountain
like his hand.
Wait, what's that?
Like, this part right here.
No, that!
[BOTH SCREAMING]
[BOTH GASP]
That...
was awesome!
I've never felt more alive
in my entire life!
We were going so fast
and ramped up a bear
and flew over
this crevasse and...
Wow, Eileen, no wonder you were
so afraid to go tubing.
What am I looking at,
exactly? Oh!
I'm sorry I was acting
so weird yesterday.
Hopefully, this extra day
will make up for lost time.
'Cause I need me some
of that fresh pow-pow!
Whoo!
We're gonna hit every slope!
Uh...
I call front
this time.
Bring on the thrills,
chills, and spills.
Yeah!
That's it?!
[♪♪♪]
[LAUGHING]
[♪♪♪]
EILEEN:
Here you go.
Two breakfasts
to go.
I put extra syrup
in your sausage
scrambler wrap, Rigby.
Just the way
you like it.
Sweet meat!
Aw, yeah!
So what do you guys have
planned for your day off?
Hm-hm!
Two words, six syllables.
BOTH:
Snow tu-tu-tu-tubing!
Snow tubing
is so awesome.
You go down the mountain,
and hit all these sweet jumps.
Yeah, last year,
I hit this snow bank so hard,
I almost flipped
over a boulder.
What about you, Eileen?
Got any crazy tubing stories?
Uh, I've actually
never been snow tubing.
[GASPS]
What?!
You've never been snow tubing?!
But you love the snow, and
you go tubing all the time.
Pool tubing is
an entirely different beast.
Same thing-- just more
thrills, chills, and spills.
But mostly spills.
We usually go up
to Canyon Run Mountain.
You should come.
You'd love it.
Oh, that sounds great,
but I have to work.
The coffee grinder's
been acting up
and the repair guy won't
be here for quite a while.
There's probably zero percent
chance I'll be able to go today.
But you guys have fun.
Oh, okay.
Well, don't work too hard.
See ya.
Later, Eileen.
Bye.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
Phew.
[SNORING]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Huh?
BOTH:
Surprise!
[YAWNS]
What are you guys doing here
at 6:00 in the morning?
Yeah.
We switched our day off so we
could go snow tubing today.
Now we can all
go together.
Snow tubing?
Whoa!
I haven't gone
since I was little.
Thrills, chills--
And don't forget the spills.
[LAUGHTER]
Uh, thanks, but I'm not sure
that I can make it.
I promised myself I would
clean out my fridge today.
What?
That can wait.
But my milk
is gonna expire soon.
The fun is gonna expire
if you don't come with us.
Yeah, I can help you with
the fridge when we get back.
Let's go, it'll be
really cool.
Well, all right.
TOGETHER:
Yeah!
Snow tubing,
snow tubing.
Can we get some sausage
scrambler wraps first?
So, you guys have been
here before, right?
Tons of times.
It's far,
but it's worth the trip.
Cannon Run Mountain
has the sickest slopes.
It snowed yesterday,
too.
I bet there's some
fresh powder on the mountain.
Aw, yeah!
Got to get me
some fresh pow-pow!
[LAUGHTER]
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Speaking of powder,
does anyone need
to use the powder room?
TOGETHER:
No.
You sure?
I want to hear you
individually.
No.
Wait, a powder room
is a bathroom, right?
Yeah.
No!
We've hit every bathroom
since we've left.
Oh, okay.
I got to go.
[TIRES SCREECH]
Man, these things
go right through me.
Hopefully, I don't have
to go to the bathroom again.
[SLURPING]
[ALL GROAN]
[♪♪♪]
We usually hit a ton of traffic
up here, but I know a short cut.
Take a right up here
at the fork.
A left?
No, a right.
Left, got it.
No, right-- Right!
Ugh.
Oh, sorry, I heard "left."
Well,
it's still pretty early.
We'll probably beat
the traffic?
[TIRES SCREECH]
[HORNS HONKING]
All right, unlock
the doors-- I'm walking.
Ugh, finally!
If we hurry, we can get 10 runs
in before it gets dark.
I say we get
some food first.
Can't go snow tubing
on an empty stomach.
Yeah,
I am pretty hungry.
I could eat.
But I want the pow-pow now-now!
[STOMACH RUMBLING]
Ah, stupid body.
Okay,
let's get some food.
Yeah, after the first
few runs, it's not so bad.
You'll go down
the mountain and be like,
"Duh, duh, duh, duh-duh.
What? You call those bumps?
I didn't feel a thing."
And if you go fast enough,
you'll feel wind on your face,
and everything is like,
"Sheew, sheew."
And you'll be like,
"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die!"
MORDECAI:
Oh, man, remember last year
when we talked Thomas
into going down
that double black...
I still don't know
why you picked
this old,
beat-up grandpa tube.
'Cause it's got
the most character.
Yeah, and
a bunch of holes.
[HISSING]
Aw, man.
Where are we gonna
get another tube?
I guess we'll have
to wait in line again.
[DRAMATIC NOTE PLAYS]
Well, good luck
with that.
We'll see you guys
up there.
Yeah, don't take
too long.
Oh, look, there's
a single-person tube!
Rigby, take that and
I'll catch up with you later.
No way--
I'm not going without you.
Don't be silly.
I don't mind. Honest.
I moved this whole trip
so we could go tubing together.
[SIGHS]
Come on,
it's getting dark.
If we hurry,
we can get two runs.
Keep it moving.
Keep it moving.
Oh, wait.
I forgot my-- agh!
Great view
up here, huh?
Oh, look-- here come
some people tubing.
[SCREAMING]
[GASPING]
You all right?
Just breathing in
the fresh mountain air.
It's gonna be fun.
It's gonna be fun.
Keep it moving.
Keep it moving.
[LAUGHS, GRUNTS]
Whoa!
[LAUGHS]
[SCREAMS]
I've made a mistake!
Whoa,
did you see that?
That guy must have
been going 50,
maybe 60 miles an hour!
With two people,
our tube is gonna go
way faster than that.
Keep it moving.
Can't back down now,
so keep it moving.
Here we go.
Front or back?
Back. Definitely back.
Okay,
knock yourself out.
What? Am I really
gonna knock myself out?
Well, you're in the back,
so maybe?
Oh, shoot, I left my scarf
on the chair lift.
I can't lose it.
It's a family heirloom.
The scarf that I bought you
that you're wearing?
Uh...
Wait!
Where are you going?
[PANTING]
Okay, ready?
Yep.
[PANTING]
Somebody's having fun.
Whoo, yeah!
So, yeah, I just
keep it moving all day.
What about you?
Do you keep it moving
around here often?
[PANTING]
Phew!
[GASPS]
Double black diamond?!
Wait, no!
Stop!
Turn this thing around!
I want to go down!
Eileen!
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTS]
[♪♪♪]
Eileen,
what are you doing?
I told you--
I'm getting my scarf!
Stop lying!
Just tell me what's wrong!
I'll tell you
what's wrong.
The thrills, the chills,
the spills--
Snow tubing
is not for me!
How do you know?
You've never tried it.
I did try it!
When I was little, I went
snow tubing with my dad.
We tried to hit a jump...
but the inertia
worked against us.
The cold air
felt like death on my face.
And then...
[GASPS]
That's when I got this!
[♪♪♪]
What am I looking
at exactly?
A scar. A bad one!
Oh.
Yeah, ever since then, I've
been afraid of snow tubing.
I was just too embarrassed
to tell you.
I didn't want
to ruin the trip.
I knew how much
it meant to you.
You shouldn't be
embarrassed.
I freak out over small
spaces all the time.
I'm not ashamed
of my mucastaphobia.
[GIGGLES]
Claustrophobia.
And you're right.
[♪♪♪]
I'm sorry I wasn't honest
with you from the start.
It's okay. I don't want
to make you do
something you
don't want to.
Ready to go back?
Hot chocolate's on me.
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, let's go.
Ooh, closing time.
So, you've, uh, seen
how I keep things moving.
Let me show you
how I slow things down.
[BUZZER]
Uh-oh.
No!
No, no, no! Hey!
We're up here!
Hello, anybody?!
Did you hear something?
[MUMBLES]
[LAUGHS]
Epic spills.
Hello!
Somebody, help!
Don't worry.
I'll just call Mordecai.
No service?
[GROANS]
[PANTING]
Wait, I got a bar.
Whoops.
Well, I needed
a new phone anyway.
[CHUCKLES]
[PANTING]
What are we gonna do?!
Hm-hm! There's only one way
out of this:
Snow tu-tu-tu-tubing.
Are you crazy?
A double black diamond
in the dark?
That's
a death sentence.
Look, Eileen,
I know we can do this.
I won't let
anything happen to you.
You just got
to trust me.
This is it.
Get ready
for thrills and chills.
And spills?
Not this time.
Hm-hm!
Okay, on three.
One, two...
[WIND HOWLS]
No, no, no!
[BOTH SCREAMING]
[♪♪♪]
[ROARS]
Keep it moving.
Trees!
[SCREAMING]
Rocks!
Grizzly bear!!
[SNARLS]
[BOTH SCREAMING]
Oh, no!
[BOTH SCREAMING]
[♪♪♪]
They should've been
back by now.
Do you think
they're okay?
I'm sure
they're fine.
Rigby knows this mountain
like his hand.
Wait, what's that?
Like, this part right here.
No, that!
[BOTH SCREAMING]
[BOTH GASP]
That...
was awesome!
I've never felt more alive
in my entire life!
We were going so fast
and ramped up a bear
and flew over
this crevasse and...
Wow, Eileen, no wonder you were
so afraid to go tubing.
What am I looking at,
exactly? Oh!
I'm sorry I was acting
so weird yesterday.
Hopefully, this extra day
will make up for lost time.
'Cause I need me some
of that fresh pow-pow!
Whoo!
We're gonna hit every slope!
Uh...
I call front
this time.
Bring on the thrills,
chills, and spills.
Yeah!
That's it?!
[♪♪♪]
[LAUGHING]
[♪♪♪]