Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 7, Episode 15 - Hello China - full transcript
Hello China: In order to get high school credits, Rigby has to pass a foreign language class taught by Benson in China. / The Eileen Plan: Rigby doesn't think that he's smart enough for Eileen and decides to go back and finally get his high school diploma.
[♪♪♪]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
[♪♪♪]
[SLURPS]
Did you enjoy your meal, sir?
You bet!
Kung Pao chicken
and white rice --
It's my favorite meal
three years running.
Ah, thank you.
Ho-ho, fortune cookie.
Wouldn't want to forget that.
It's the highlight
of my night.
Huh.
"Adventure comes
to those who seek it."
[SIGHS]
[♪♪♪]
Hmm.
[BELL RINGS]
Mm-hm! Time to ace
a foreign-language class!
Buenos "day-os"!
Bone juice!
"Grunton tog"!
MAN:
Well, Rigby, you did it.
You failed all your
foreign-language classes.
Makes me so sad seeing you
walking through the halls,
a grown man floating
around like a ghost.
Why do I even need
a foreign language, anyway?
It's not like I'll
ever use it in real life.
I can get by
on my street smarts,
just walkin' around,
talkin' to people,
talkin' on the street,
like, "Hey, how you doin'?"
Just pass a foreign language
somehow and graduate already!
I can't take
this anymore!
We sat there
crying for 10 minutes.
What are you gonna do?
BENSON: Hello.
I have a very
shocking announcement.
I'm gonna go to China
and teach English for a month.
Whoa!
That's awesome!
I know! They even
cover my plane ticket.
Benson, do you
even know any Chinese?
Uh, no.
But I'm teaching English, so...
[ALL MUTTERING]
Well, everybody,
have a good month,
and, heh, you know
what I always say:
"Adventure comes
to those who seek it."
[TAXI DOOR CLOSES]
[CLICKS TONGUE]
Close the window.
What are you gonna do about
your foreign language? Rigby?
MORDECAI:
Rigby!
[SNORING]
[♪♪♪]
[BICYCLE BELL RINGS]
Does anybody know
where the school is? Uh...
[ASKING QUESTION IN CHINESE]
Oh, Benson!
We're so excited to have
foreign English teacher.
Thanks so much,
Principal Zhang."Jiang"?
[PRONOUNCED "JIONG"]
Zhang!
I'm sorry
about my outfit.
The airline
lost my luggage.
Ha, ha, ha.
Uh, no, it's a good shirt.
So, do I get reimbursed
for my ticket now, or...?
Oh, you only get plane ticket
if your kids impress
at the big English performance
at end of semester.
Huge assembly.
Whole school watching!
Ha-ha-ha, seriously?
[CHUCKLES]
Yes. Very funny.
But it's very serious.
Well --
Stick to the book,
and you'll be fine.
Uh...
[ALL LAUGHING]
Uh... Hello?
STUDENTS:
Hi!
[GIGGLING]
Heh-heh, all right.
Well, uh...
My name is Benson Dunwoody.
You can call me
Benson or Mr. Benson.
[ALL GIGGLING]
I was told you
have English names,
so we'll start
with the class list.
Kobe?
Present.
LeBron?
Present.
Apple?
Present.
Rigby?
RIGBY: Yeah!
[STUDENTS GIGGLING]
Rigby, what are
you doing here?
I need
a foreign-language class.
You're teaching
a foreign-language class.
It's the most
convenient option.
How did you
even get here?
[GASPS, PANTING]
I'll give you this stuff
if you take me to...this school.
Okay!
Rigby, go home now.
Come on, Benson.
All I need is
a passing grade.
[GROANS]
I'll pass you
if you earn it.
Nice! Up top!
[SIGHS]
All right, everyone.
We'll be learning
how to write a formal letter.
So, naturally, we'll start
with keeping concise syntax.
[GIRL SPEAKS IN CHINESE]
Uh, what? What are you --
What are you saying to me?
ALL:
Teacher! Teacher!
[STAMMERS]
Uh, Teacher Benson. Teacher!
Yes, uh, Apple?
What does "eggscellent" mean?
Excuse me?
Eh?
Well, "eggscellent"
is more like slang,
so, you know, it's not really
applicable to this lesson.
It kind of means like
"really cool," but with eggs.
ALL:
Ah!
[SPEAKS IN CHINESE]
[ALL GIGGLING]
Eh...
Well, uh, maybe if we have time
at the end of class.
Rigby, do you
have girlfriend?
Why, yes, I do, Kobe.
STUDENTS:
Wow!
What about you,
Mr. Benson?
Uh, well, I'm...
not really officially
seeing anyone right now.
ALL:
Wha--?
Do you want one?
I don't...
Uh, no.
It's not...
It's not really relevant.
Rigby, how many
hot dogs can you eat?
Five --
Three with buns!
Wow! Me too!
You're pretty
eggscellent, Rigby.
Hm-hm-hm!
Hm. Hm-hm.
[SIGHS]
If we could just -- Huh?
[BELL RINGS]
Oh, it's the bell.
Uh, remember to read your books
for tomorrow, everybody.
Hm.
[♪♪♪]
And so, like the book says,
similar to essay form,
we summarize in paragraph --
[PHONE KEYBOARD CLICKING]
LeBron, I told you
to put that phone away!
[STUDENTS EXCLAIM]
Stop talking!
Hm-hm-hm! Hm-hm!
ALL:
Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm!
[GROANS]
This is not English!
This is not what
you're supposed to be learning!
But why not?
It seems very useful.
Yeah, we want
street smarts.
It's not
in the book!
It's just junk Rigby says,
and he's
failing the class!
Now, quit messing around,
or you're expelled!
ALL:
Oh!
[APPLE SPEAKING IN CHINESE]
[GROANS, GASPS]
[CHUCKLES]
Benson, big
performance tomorrow.
It's very great.
You great teacher.
[GIGGLES]
You really earn
that plane ticket, ah?
Ha-ha, I hope so.
Otherwise I'll be
trapped in China forever.
[CHUCKLES]
Very funny!
But very serious.
[GROANS]
[SPEAKING IN CHINESE]
Hello.
Yes, I'll have, um...
Well, you don't
really have any pictures,
so I guess
I'll have this one.
[SPEAKING IN CHINESE]
Mm, that is like
blood curd and stomach.
Maybe you don't like it.
Oh, just give it to me.
I'm supposed to be having
an adventure in China, right?
Okay, okay.
[GASPS]
Benson! Hi!
I can see you!
Yes, yes, I see you.
I'm gonna
come inside, okay?
No. Don't come inside.
[GROANS]
Hey, Benson.
Teacher Benson.
What food did you order?
I got the traditional
"mow shooey weng."
[SPEAKS IN CHINESE, LAUGHS]
That's what
my grandparents eat.
[SIGHS]
Shouldn't you two be studying?
I'd like to be
alone right now.
Oh, my bad.
I'll catch you outside, Rigby.
So, Benson,
you seemed stressed.
[SIGHS]
The school assembly is tomorrow.
If you haven't learned anything,
we won't get the ticket home.
Benson, come on.
You gotta relax.
Life tends to work out.
You gotta learn
how to coast.
That's what I'm doing.
I'm having a great time!
No! Rigby, don't you see?
If you don't study,
you're gonna fail,
and you'll never turn
into someone better!
You're making
the same mistakes as back home.
Do you really want to have
flown halfway around the world
only to find out
you're gonna be the same
no matter where you go?!
[SIZZLING]
Okay. Well, uh, I'm gonna
let you eat your food.
I'll see you at
the performance tomorrow.
What's wrong with teacher?
Apple, do you know what
"pulling an all-nighter" is?
Let's go!
MAN:
Up next, we have Class Seven.
[SIGHS]
Uh, Benson, uh,
where is your class?
Uh, look, Mr. Zhang,
I'm really sorry, but --
RIGBY:
Yo, we about to showcase
English up in this joint!
[TYPING RHYTHMICALLY]
[POP MUSIC PLAYS]
♪ Dear Benson, here's a letter
We begin with "my bad" ♪
♪ My bad ♪
♪ We like to keep it formal ♪
♪ Living in the modern world ♪
♪ Freshened up the normal way ♪
♪ Of sayin' what we wanna say ♪
♪ In text, e-mail and chat ♪
♪ We keep it concise ♪
♪ The price to write a letter ♪
♪ But whatever, s'all good ♪
♪ Slang can do it better ♪
Yo, what's up, Apple?
Ready to break this down?
MAN [DISTORTED]:
♪ Drop the beat! ♪
♪ Our history, you see
Is study only for a test ♪
♪ No biggie, but like
A music note, we need a rest ♪
♪ Ahh, slang is a'ight
My straight-up chillin' ♪
♪ Swag is killin' street talk
And it's tight ♪
♪ Dear Benson, here's a letter
Where within we bust out ♪
♪ Bust out ♪
♪ Informal language livin' ♪
[SINGS IN CHINESE]
♪ Don't be stressin' tix ♪
♪ We'll help you get a boo ♪
♪ 'Cause we know
Some adult chicks ♪
♪ Paragraph three
It's the summarization ♪
♪ Formal has a place
But it'll face stagnation ♪
♪ Slang's got a bang ♪
♪ It's a slice of heaven ♪
♪ Sincerely, catch you later
Peace out ♪
♪ We're Class Seven ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Ah, Benson, I've never
seen such amazing display.
Oh!
And the vulgar slang
that most Americans use!
Uh...
Mr. Benson worked very hard
to teach us all facets
of the English language.
This performance
is dedicated to Mr. Benson,
to whom
we owe all the credit.
Please return next year
and share more of your
vulgar raps with our students.
I'd love to.
Rigby, you pass.
You all pass.
[BELL RINGS]
Well, normally
leaving school for a month
would be grounds
for expulsion,
but I want you
out of here,
and you did pass
a foreign-language class.
So...whatever. You can
have your credits. You pass!
[SPEAKS IN CHINESE]
Only one more credit,
and you're out of here.
You know, I admit to being
a bit touched by your resolve.
In fact, you kind of
remind me of a young me.
I passed!
[YELLS]
Rigby!
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
[♪♪♪]
[SLURPS]
Did you enjoy your meal, sir?
You bet!
Kung Pao chicken
and white rice --
It's my favorite meal
three years running.
Ah, thank you.
Ho-ho, fortune cookie.
Wouldn't want to forget that.
It's the highlight
of my night.
Huh.
"Adventure comes
to those who seek it."
[SIGHS]
[♪♪♪]
Hmm.
[BELL RINGS]
Mm-hm! Time to ace
a foreign-language class!
Buenos "day-os"!
Bone juice!
"Grunton tog"!
MAN:
Well, Rigby, you did it.
You failed all your
foreign-language classes.
Makes me so sad seeing you
walking through the halls,
a grown man floating
around like a ghost.
Why do I even need
a foreign language, anyway?
It's not like I'll
ever use it in real life.
I can get by
on my street smarts,
just walkin' around,
talkin' to people,
talkin' on the street,
like, "Hey, how you doin'?"
Just pass a foreign language
somehow and graduate already!
I can't take
this anymore!
We sat there
crying for 10 minutes.
What are you gonna do?
BENSON: Hello.
I have a very
shocking announcement.
I'm gonna go to China
and teach English for a month.
Whoa!
That's awesome!
I know! They even
cover my plane ticket.
Benson, do you
even know any Chinese?
Uh, no.
But I'm teaching English, so...
[ALL MUTTERING]
Well, everybody,
have a good month,
and, heh, you know
what I always say:
"Adventure comes
to those who seek it."
[TAXI DOOR CLOSES]
[CLICKS TONGUE]
Close the window.
What are you gonna do about
your foreign language? Rigby?
MORDECAI:
Rigby!
[SNORING]
[♪♪♪]
[BICYCLE BELL RINGS]
Does anybody know
where the school is? Uh...
[ASKING QUESTION IN CHINESE]
Oh, Benson!
We're so excited to have
foreign English teacher.
Thanks so much,
Principal Zhang."Jiang"?
[PRONOUNCED "JIONG"]
Zhang!
I'm sorry
about my outfit.
The airline
lost my luggage.
Ha, ha, ha.
Uh, no, it's a good shirt.
So, do I get reimbursed
for my ticket now, or...?
Oh, you only get plane ticket
if your kids impress
at the big English performance
at end of semester.
Huge assembly.
Whole school watching!
Ha-ha-ha, seriously?
[CHUCKLES]
Yes. Very funny.
But it's very serious.
Well --
Stick to the book,
and you'll be fine.
Uh...
[ALL LAUGHING]
Uh... Hello?
STUDENTS:
Hi!
[GIGGLING]
Heh-heh, all right.
Well, uh...
My name is Benson Dunwoody.
You can call me
Benson or Mr. Benson.
[ALL GIGGLING]
I was told you
have English names,
so we'll start
with the class list.
Kobe?
Present.
LeBron?
Present.
Apple?
Present.
Rigby?
RIGBY: Yeah!
[STUDENTS GIGGLING]
Rigby, what are
you doing here?
I need
a foreign-language class.
You're teaching
a foreign-language class.
It's the most
convenient option.
How did you
even get here?
[GASPS, PANTING]
I'll give you this stuff
if you take me to...this school.
Okay!
Rigby, go home now.
Come on, Benson.
All I need is
a passing grade.
[GROANS]
I'll pass you
if you earn it.
Nice! Up top!
[SIGHS]
All right, everyone.
We'll be learning
how to write a formal letter.
So, naturally, we'll start
with keeping concise syntax.
[GIRL SPEAKS IN CHINESE]
Uh, what? What are you --
What are you saying to me?
ALL:
Teacher! Teacher!
[STAMMERS]
Uh, Teacher Benson. Teacher!
Yes, uh, Apple?
What does "eggscellent" mean?
Excuse me?
Eh?
Well, "eggscellent"
is more like slang,
so, you know, it's not really
applicable to this lesson.
It kind of means like
"really cool," but with eggs.
ALL:
Ah!
[SPEAKS IN CHINESE]
[ALL GIGGLING]
Eh...
Well, uh, maybe if we have time
at the end of class.
Rigby, do you
have girlfriend?
Why, yes, I do, Kobe.
STUDENTS:
Wow!
What about you,
Mr. Benson?
Uh, well, I'm...
not really officially
seeing anyone right now.
ALL:
Wha--?
Do you want one?
I don't...
Uh, no.
It's not...
It's not really relevant.
Rigby, how many
hot dogs can you eat?
Five --
Three with buns!
Wow! Me too!
You're pretty
eggscellent, Rigby.
Hm-hm-hm!
Hm. Hm-hm.
[SIGHS]
If we could just -- Huh?
[BELL RINGS]
Oh, it's the bell.
Uh, remember to read your books
for tomorrow, everybody.
Hm.
[♪♪♪]
And so, like the book says,
similar to essay form,
we summarize in paragraph --
[PHONE KEYBOARD CLICKING]
LeBron, I told you
to put that phone away!
[STUDENTS EXCLAIM]
Stop talking!
Hm-hm-hm! Hm-hm!
ALL:
Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm!
[GROANS]
This is not English!
This is not what
you're supposed to be learning!
But why not?
It seems very useful.
Yeah, we want
street smarts.
It's not
in the book!
It's just junk Rigby says,
and he's
failing the class!
Now, quit messing around,
or you're expelled!
ALL:
Oh!
[APPLE SPEAKING IN CHINESE]
[GROANS, GASPS]
[CHUCKLES]
Benson, big
performance tomorrow.
It's very great.
You great teacher.
[GIGGLES]
You really earn
that plane ticket, ah?
Ha-ha, I hope so.
Otherwise I'll be
trapped in China forever.
[CHUCKLES]
Very funny!
But very serious.
[GROANS]
[SPEAKING IN CHINESE]
Hello.
Yes, I'll have, um...
Well, you don't
really have any pictures,
so I guess
I'll have this one.
[SPEAKING IN CHINESE]
Mm, that is like
blood curd and stomach.
Maybe you don't like it.
Oh, just give it to me.
I'm supposed to be having
an adventure in China, right?
Okay, okay.
[GASPS]
Benson! Hi!
I can see you!
Yes, yes, I see you.
I'm gonna
come inside, okay?
No. Don't come inside.
[GROANS]
Hey, Benson.
Teacher Benson.
What food did you order?
I got the traditional
"mow shooey weng."
[SPEAKS IN CHINESE, LAUGHS]
That's what
my grandparents eat.
[SIGHS]
Shouldn't you two be studying?
I'd like to be
alone right now.
Oh, my bad.
I'll catch you outside, Rigby.
So, Benson,
you seemed stressed.
[SIGHS]
The school assembly is tomorrow.
If you haven't learned anything,
we won't get the ticket home.
Benson, come on.
You gotta relax.
Life tends to work out.
You gotta learn
how to coast.
That's what I'm doing.
I'm having a great time!
No! Rigby, don't you see?
If you don't study,
you're gonna fail,
and you'll never turn
into someone better!
You're making
the same mistakes as back home.
Do you really want to have
flown halfway around the world
only to find out
you're gonna be the same
no matter where you go?!
[SIZZLING]
Okay. Well, uh, I'm gonna
let you eat your food.
I'll see you at
the performance tomorrow.
What's wrong with teacher?
Apple, do you know what
"pulling an all-nighter" is?
Let's go!
MAN:
Up next, we have Class Seven.
[SIGHS]
Uh, Benson, uh,
where is your class?
Uh, look, Mr. Zhang,
I'm really sorry, but --
RIGBY:
Yo, we about to showcase
English up in this joint!
[TYPING RHYTHMICALLY]
[POP MUSIC PLAYS]
♪ Dear Benson, here's a letter
We begin with "my bad" ♪
♪ My bad ♪
♪ We like to keep it formal ♪
♪ Living in the modern world ♪
♪ Freshened up the normal way ♪
♪ Of sayin' what we wanna say ♪
♪ In text, e-mail and chat ♪
♪ We keep it concise ♪
♪ The price to write a letter ♪
♪ But whatever, s'all good ♪
♪ Slang can do it better ♪
Yo, what's up, Apple?
Ready to break this down?
MAN [DISTORTED]:
♪ Drop the beat! ♪
♪ Our history, you see
Is study only for a test ♪
♪ No biggie, but like
A music note, we need a rest ♪
♪ Ahh, slang is a'ight
My straight-up chillin' ♪
♪ Swag is killin' street talk
And it's tight ♪
♪ Dear Benson, here's a letter
Where within we bust out ♪
♪ Bust out ♪
♪ Informal language livin' ♪
[SINGS IN CHINESE]
♪ Don't be stressin' tix ♪
♪ We'll help you get a boo ♪
♪ 'Cause we know
Some adult chicks ♪
♪ Paragraph three
It's the summarization ♪
♪ Formal has a place
But it'll face stagnation ♪
♪ Slang's got a bang ♪
♪ It's a slice of heaven ♪
♪ Sincerely, catch you later
Peace out ♪
♪ We're Class Seven ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Ah, Benson, I've never
seen such amazing display.
Oh!
And the vulgar slang
that most Americans use!
Uh...
Mr. Benson worked very hard
to teach us all facets
of the English language.
This performance
is dedicated to Mr. Benson,
to whom
we owe all the credit.
Please return next year
and share more of your
vulgar raps with our students.
I'd love to.
Rigby, you pass.
You all pass.
[BELL RINGS]
Well, normally
leaving school for a month
would be grounds
for expulsion,
but I want you
out of here,
and you did pass
a foreign-language class.
So...whatever. You can
have your credits. You pass!
[SPEAKS IN CHINESE]
Only one more credit,
and you're out of here.
You know, I admit to being
a bit touched by your resolve.
In fact, you kind of
remind me of a young me.
I passed!
[YELLS]
Rigby!
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLING]