Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 6, Episode 4 - Terror Tales of the Park IV - full transcript
Mordecai, Rigby, and the gang decide to visit Muscle Man's mother on Halloween. On the way the group tells ghost stories, including one where Mordecai and Rigby die and return to haunt Benson.
[♪♪♪]
[CHIRPING, HOOTING]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[DOOR CREAKS]
Boolarrgh!
You gotta
scream first, bro.
But we're
not scared.
Do you want the
candy or not?!
BOTH:
Aaaauuuggh!
That's...
that's what I thought.
All right, we're
closin' up shop.
No more
trick-or-treaters.
So, what do you guys
wanna do?
The night
is still young.
I got a cat sitter,
so I can be out
for another hour.
I've got an idea,
bro.
Scary stories!
Dude, we do that
every year.
Yeah, let's do something
really scary.
We could rent a few
genre films.
Or we could go to bed early
and be alone with our thoughts.
Naw. Let's go to
a haunted house!
Those are the scariest!
You know who else
is the scariest?
My mom!
Ugh.
Not this again.
No, dude. She's seriously
scary like a haunted house!
Yeah, yeah, just like
how she eats raw acorns?
Uh-huh.
Or that she swam
across the ocean
with one arm tied
behind her back.
Yep.
Or that she's a registered
notary public?
Yeah.
it's all true, bro!
Everyone knows all the best
comedy is based on truth!
Pro-o-o-ve it!
What?
BOTH: Pro-o-o-ve I-I-I-t!
Whoa.
Let's just slow down.
Come to think of it,
I've never seen your mom.
Yeah, me either.
Well, she doesn't
really like visitors, so...
What? Even Fives
hasn't met her?
Now we have to do it.
What are you
angling at, bro?
If your mom's
so amazing,
let's meet her.
ALL:
Oh, yeah. Let's do it
Egh. Listen.
I think I'm getting tired.
I'm just gonna go home.
BOTH:
Booo!
ALL:
Come on! Geez!
Ugh! Fine! I'll take you
to meet my mom,
on one condition.
You gotta tell scary stories
the whole way there.
ALL:
Ugh!
All right, chumps,
who's first?
Oh, I have a story!
RIGBY:
Ugh.
This party!
I hate dressing
like this!
That's only because
you chose the dwarf style.
[LAUGHS]
It was the only one that fit!
So, I said, "that's not
your back scratcher.
that's my
toothbrush!"
[BOTH LAUGH]
It's true!
You did say
that to me.
Yeah,
we both remember.
[BELL RINGS]
It's time.
[RINGS]
So, like you all know,
as per tradition,
we pull our names out
of this pumpkin bucket
and whoever's last,
it's their turn.
Please, we don't
have to do this.
Remember what happened
to Hi Five ghost?
It's all right, Pops.
Maybe it's really fun in there.
Let us begin.
[DRUMROLL]
And the first name is...
Skips.
[DRUM TAPS]
Mordecai.
Whew!
Muscle Man.
[LAUGHS] Yeah!
[RIP]
Whoo-hoo!
[♪♪♪]
Be-- Oh, that's me!
Ha! Boy,
what a relief!
Welp, two more left.
[GROANING]
[WHIMPERS]
Yaaah!
Pops is right.
We don't need to do this!
Rigby.
Whew.
Tough break, Pops.
No, please listen!
We can just leave the park.
We don't know
what's out there, bro.
Sorry, Pops.
This is the only way
to assure our safety!
No!
[DOOR BANGS]
Where'd he go?!
[PANTING]
[ALL WHOOPING]
[♪♪♪]
There he is!
[WHIMPERING]
Aaah!
Get him down from
there, Dwarf Star.
[MUTTERS]
Oh!
MORDECAI: There it is.
[HOLE GURGLING]
We do this
every year, Pops.
and every year,
we stay alive.
Therefore, this must be
why we're alive.
Please, just let me
say my piece.
Fine.
You've got one minute.
But then we're throwing you
in that hole.
Look at what
we've become,
tearing at each other
like animals,
and not the gentle kind,
but ever since
that fog appeared,
we've been feeding
each other to this hole.
Look me in the eye and remember
the times before the raffle,
the times before the hole.
Pops, I think I speak for
all of us when I say...
get in the hole!
[SCREAMS]
Huh.
[HOLE CHOKING, GURGLING]
So I said, "that's not
your back scratcher."
ALL:
That's my toothbrush!
[LAUGHTER]
[SLURP!]
Say, where did you get
this wonderful tea?
Oh, well... this is actually
kind of embarrassing but, uh...
we were able to leave the park
and nothing bad happened.
[SLURP!]
It turns out the fog
was all
in our minds.
it was really more
of a psychological,
existential
kind of fog.
I guess you could say
the fog represented
our fear of
the outside world.
Well, how about that?
[LAUGHTER]
I call it
The Wonderful Adventure
of the Mysterious
Hole in the Park.
No offense, Pops, but
I said scary stories,
not reimaginings of
classic literature.
Maybe I should turn around
and go home.
Aw, come on,
Muscle Man!
You said if we
told you scary stories,
we'd get to meet your mom.
You know who else
can't handle the truth
about their
lame story?
ALL:
Aw, come on! Stop!
Fine.
I've got a scary story.
This story is about two
of my favorite people...
Mordecai and Rigby are dead.
Their lives
ended tragically
while doing what should
have been a simple job:
haunting the house
for Halloween.
I did everything I could to
motivate them: pep talks,
instructional speeches,
occasional yelling.
I even tried taking away
their precious video games.
but it was never enough.
They were never able to
finish haunting the house.
[GASPS]
Oh, no, bro.
Can I see you after this
sparsely attended service?
What's this all about?
I've got a 4:00 at 4:00.
You have to fire
Mordecai and Rigby.
Muscle Man, I don't know
how to say this,
but you were just
at their memorial.
I had you personally
dig their graves.
Ugh!
Look at the house.
[HOWLING]
That's just
the wind.
Mordecai and Rigby
have unfinished business.
if you don't fire them, they
will haunt the house forever.
Ghost rules, bro.
Fine.
I'll fire Mordecai and Rigby.
[♪♪♪]
They are so fired.
[LAUGHTER ECHOING]
[LAUGHTER ECHOING CONTINUES]
Mordecai and Rigby,
I can hear you up there!
You two are officially--
[GROWLS]
[SCREAMS]
So scary!
Gotta fire 'em...
Just gotta fire 'em...
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Enough messing
around!
[YELPS]
[GRUNTING]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[GRUNTS]
[♪♪♪]
[GROWLS]
Oh... so scary.
Their video games.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Hook, line,
and sinker.
You're...fired!
[BOTH SCREECHING]
No. Why?
Why aren't they gone?
Wait.
I don't know much about
these newfangled computers.
but I do know
one thing:
a worker is not
technically fired
until you delete them
from the employee database.
The employee database!
[♪♪♪]
Aah! So scary!
I did it!
What's--?
What's going on?
[SCREAMS]
You're dead, dude.
What?!
Yeah, man.
You don't remember?
Benson, look at this mask!
[SCREAMS]
RIGBY:
You've been haunting
the house for months!
Uhhh!
[WHISTLING]
[MOANING]
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMS]
No, dude. It's lefty
locky, righty relaxy.
That doesn't
even rhyme.
[MOANING]
Then what are you guys
doing here?
You've ruined
my office!
We're not in
your office.
This is our office.
We got promoted.
And this isn't
our office.
It's a cemetery.
And that's your grave.
[♪♪♪]
Nooooooo!
Is that it?
Yes, that's it.
I was dead the whole time.
Scary, right?
Dude, that twist's been done
like a million times.
What are you talking about?
it's way creepier that way!
Ehhh...I mean...
[ALL BICKER]
Muscle Man, how long
till we get there?
It's gonna be about...
[TIRES SCREECH]
Now.
[WIND WHISTLING]
[ANIMAL CALLING]
All right, ladies, I hope
you brought your adult diapers
'cause you're gonna need them
after either A:
This really
difficult hike,
or B:
Once you meet my mom.
[LAUGHS DIABOLICALLY]
[THUNDER CRASHES]
[♪♪♪]
[OWL HOOTS]
[SCREAMS]
[HOOTS]
You know who doesn't drop
their trail mix
when they get scared?
My mom!
Ugh. How far is it to
your mom's place anyway?
We'll get there
when get there!
Do you want to meet
the woman who brought me
into this world or not?
We didn't come all this way
just to turn back now.
Whatever, dude.
We're here.
[HOWLING]
This is where
your mom lives?
Are you
surprised?
RIGBY:
Let's just meet her
and get out of here.
This place is
creepin' me out.
In a minute. I gotta go in first
and tell her she's got company.
She doesn't take too kindly
to surprise visitors.
Oh no? But her Halloween
decorations are so lovely!
Those aren't
decorations.
[WHIMPERS]
You guys
stay here.
This better not be
another one of his pranks.
[DOOR CREAKS]
MUSCLE MAN:
All right. She's ready for you.
MORDECAI:
Muscle Man?
Mrs. Sorenstein?
[KNOCK ON WALL]
Hmm.
Nobody's there.
[ALL SCREAM]
Aw, weak, Muscle Man!
I knew this was a prank!
What prank?
[ALL SCREAM]
[LAUGHS]
Oh, man! I got you guys!
I got you good!
This isn't my mom's house!
You think she'd live
in this dump?
I had this all
planned out.
That's just
Muscle, bro.
He was waiting here
the whole time.
Someone call me?
[ALL SCREAM]
If that's not you,
then who is that?
Tou know who else
likes scaring people?
Me!
Graarrghhh!
[ALL SCREAM]
Wait, Mitchie!
You forgot your candy!
Happy Halloween!
[HOWLS]
Ha! This costume
gets my boys every year!
[♪♪♪]
[CHIRPING, HOOTING]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[DOOR CREAKS]
Boolarrgh!
You gotta
scream first, bro.
But we're
not scared.
Do you want the
candy or not?!
BOTH:
Aaaauuuggh!
That's...
that's what I thought.
All right, we're
closin' up shop.
No more
trick-or-treaters.
So, what do you guys
wanna do?
The night
is still young.
I got a cat sitter,
so I can be out
for another hour.
I've got an idea,
bro.
Scary stories!
Dude, we do that
every year.
Yeah, let's do something
really scary.
We could rent a few
genre films.
Or we could go to bed early
and be alone with our thoughts.
Naw. Let's go to
a haunted house!
Those are the scariest!
You know who else
is the scariest?
My mom!
Ugh.
Not this again.
No, dude. She's seriously
scary like a haunted house!
Yeah, yeah, just like
how she eats raw acorns?
Uh-huh.
Or that she swam
across the ocean
with one arm tied
behind her back.
Yep.
Or that she's a registered
notary public?
Yeah.
it's all true, bro!
Everyone knows all the best
comedy is based on truth!
Pro-o-o-ve it!
What?
BOTH: Pro-o-o-ve I-I-I-t!
Whoa.
Let's just slow down.
Come to think of it,
I've never seen your mom.
Yeah, me either.
Well, she doesn't
really like visitors, so...
What? Even Fives
hasn't met her?
Now we have to do it.
What are you
angling at, bro?
If your mom's
so amazing,
let's meet her.
ALL:
Oh, yeah. Let's do it
Egh. Listen.
I think I'm getting tired.
I'm just gonna go home.
BOTH:
Booo!
ALL:
Come on! Geez!
Ugh! Fine! I'll take you
to meet my mom,
on one condition.
You gotta tell scary stories
the whole way there.
ALL:
Ugh!
All right, chumps,
who's first?
Oh, I have a story!
RIGBY:
Ugh.
This party!
I hate dressing
like this!
That's only because
you chose the dwarf style.
[LAUGHS]
It was the only one that fit!
So, I said, "that's not
your back scratcher.
that's my
toothbrush!"
[BOTH LAUGH]
It's true!
You did say
that to me.
Yeah,
we both remember.
[BELL RINGS]
It's time.
[RINGS]
So, like you all know,
as per tradition,
we pull our names out
of this pumpkin bucket
and whoever's last,
it's their turn.
Please, we don't
have to do this.
Remember what happened
to Hi Five ghost?
It's all right, Pops.
Maybe it's really fun in there.
Let us begin.
[DRUMROLL]
And the first name is...
Skips.
[DRUM TAPS]
Mordecai.
Whew!
Muscle Man.
[LAUGHS] Yeah!
[RIP]
Whoo-hoo!
[♪♪♪]
Be-- Oh, that's me!
Ha! Boy,
what a relief!
Welp, two more left.
[GROANING]
[WHIMPERS]
Yaaah!
Pops is right.
We don't need to do this!
Rigby.
Whew.
Tough break, Pops.
No, please listen!
We can just leave the park.
We don't know
what's out there, bro.
Sorry, Pops.
This is the only way
to assure our safety!
No!
[DOOR BANGS]
Where'd he go?!
[PANTING]
[ALL WHOOPING]
[♪♪♪]
There he is!
[WHIMPERING]
Aaah!
Get him down from
there, Dwarf Star.
[MUTTERS]
Oh!
MORDECAI: There it is.
[HOLE GURGLING]
We do this
every year, Pops.
and every year,
we stay alive.
Therefore, this must be
why we're alive.
Please, just let me
say my piece.
Fine.
You've got one minute.
But then we're throwing you
in that hole.
Look at what
we've become,
tearing at each other
like animals,
and not the gentle kind,
but ever since
that fog appeared,
we've been feeding
each other to this hole.
Look me in the eye and remember
the times before the raffle,
the times before the hole.
Pops, I think I speak for
all of us when I say...
get in the hole!
[SCREAMS]
Huh.
[HOLE CHOKING, GURGLING]
So I said, "that's not
your back scratcher."
ALL:
That's my toothbrush!
[LAUGHTER]
[SLURP!]
Say, where did you get
this wonderful tea?
Oh, well... this is actually
kind of embarrassing but, uh...
we were able to leave the park
and nothing bad happened.
[SLURP!]
It turns out the fog
was all
in our minds.
it was really more
of a psychological,
existential
kind of fog.
I guess you could say
the fog represented
our fear of
the outside world.
Well, how about that?
[LAUGHTER]
I call it
The Wonderful Adventure
of the Mysterious
Hole in the Park.
No offense, Pops, but
I said scary stories,
not reimaginings of
classic literature.
Maybe I should turn around
and go home.
Aw, come on,
Muscle Man!
You said if we
told you scary stories,
we'd get to meet your mom.
You know who else
can't handle the truth
about their
lame story?
ALL:
Aw, come on! Stop!
Fine.
I've got a scary story.
This story is about two
of my favorite people...
Mordecai and Rigby are dead.
Their lives
ended tragically
while doing what should
have been a simple job:
haunting the house
for Halloween.
I did everything I could to
motivate them: pep talks,
instructional speeches,
occasional yelling.
I even tried taking away
their precious video games.
but it was never enough.
They were never able to
finish haunting the house.
[GASPS]
Oh, no, bro.
Can I see you after this
sparsely attended service?
What's this all about?
I've got a 4:00 at 4:00.
You have to fire
Mordecai and Rigby.
Muscle Man, I don't know
how to say this,
but you were just
at their memorial.
I had you personally
dig their graves.
Ugh!
Look at the house.
[HOWLING]
That's just
the wind.
Mordecai and Rigby
have unfinished business.
if you don't fire them, they
will haunt the house forever.
Ghost rules, bro.
Fine.
I'll fire Mordecai and Rigby.
[♪♪♪]
They are so fired.
[LAUGHTER ECHOING]
[LAUGHTER ECHOING CONTINUES]
Mordecai and Rigby,
I can hear you up there!
You two are officially--
[GROWLS]
[SCREAMS]
So scary!
Gotta fire 'em...
Just gotta fire 'em...
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Enough messing
around!
[YELPS]
[GRUNTING]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[GRUNTS]
[♪♪♪]
[GROWLS]
Oh... so scary.
Their video games.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Hook, line,
and sinker.
You're...fired!
[BOTH SCREECHING]
No. Why?
Why aren't they gone?
Wait.
I don't know much about
these newfangled computers.
but I do know
one thing:
a worker is not
technically fired
until you delete them
from the employee database.
The employee database!
[♪♪♪]
Aah! So scary!
I did it!
What's--?
What's going on?
[SCREAMS]
You're dead, dude.
What?!
Yeah, man.
You don't remember?
Benson, look at this mask!
[SCREAMS]
RIGBY:
You've been haunting
the house for months!
Uhhh!
[WHISTLING]
[MOANING]
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMS]
No, dude. It's lefty
locky, righty relaxy.
That doesn't
even rhyme.
[MOANING]
Then what are you guys
doing here?
You've ruined
my office!
We're not in
your office.
This is our office.
We got promoted.
And this isn't
our office.
It's a cemetery.
And that's your grave.
[♪♪♪]
Nooooooo!
Is that it?
Yes, that's it.
I was dead the whole time.
Scary, right?
Dude, that twist's been done
like a million times.
What are you talking about?
it's way creepier that way!
Ehhh...I mean...
[ALL BICKER]
Muscle Man, how long
till we get there?
It's gonna be about...
[TIRES SCREECH]
Now.
[WIND WHISTLING]
[ANIMAL CALLING]
All right, ladies, I hope
you brought your adult diapers
'cause you're gonna need them
after either A:
This really
difficult hike,
or B:
Once you meet my mom.
[LAUGHS DIABOLICALLY]
[THUNDER CRASHES]
[♪♪♪]
[OWL HOOTS]
[SCREAMS]
[HOOTS]
You know who doesn't drop
their trail mix
when they get scared?
My mom!
Ugh. How far is it to
your mom's place anyway?
We'll get there
when get there!
Do you want to meet
the woman who brought me
into this world or not?
We didn't come all this way
just to turn back now.
Whatever, dude.
We're here.
[HOWLING]
This is where
your mom lives?
Are you
surprised?
RIGBY:
Let's just meet her
and get out of here.
This place is
creepin' me out.
In a minute. I gotta go in first
and tell her she's got company.
She doesn't take too kindly
to surprise visitors.
Oh no? But her Halloween
decorations are so lovely!
Those aren't
decorations.
[WHIMPERS]
You guys
stay here.
This better not be
another one of his pranks.
[DOOR CREAKS]
MUSCLE MAN:
All right. She's ready for you.
MORDECAI:
Muscle Man?
Mrs. Sorenstein?
[KNOCK ON WALL]
Hmm.
Nobody's there.
[ALL SCREAM]
Aw, weak, Muscle Man!
I knew this was a prank!
What prank?
[ALL SCREAM]
[LAUGHS]
Oh, man! I got you guys!
I got you good!
This isn't my mom's house!
You think she'd live
in this dump?
I had this all
planned out.
That's just
Muscle, bro.
He was waiting here
the whole time.
Someone call me?
[ALL SCREAM]
If that's not you,
then who is that?
Tou know who else
likes scaring people?
Me!
Graarrghhh!
[ALL SCREAM]
Wait, Mitchie!
You forgot your candy!
Happy Halloween!
[HOWLS]
Ha! This costume
gets my boys every year!
[♪♪♪]