Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 6, Episode 2 - New Bro on Campus - full transcript
In high school, Muscle Man wants to show that he is cooler than the new student on campus.
[♪♪♪]
BENSON:
All right. We got
a lot of big jobs,
so we're gonna work
in pairs today.
Pops and Skips, spray the
paddleboats down by the docks.
Mordecai and Rigby, take out
the trash by the snack bar.
Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost,
my A team,
I need you two
to work your magic
and remove those old
stumps by the playground.
Uh, I'd rather
work alone today.
[ALL GASP]
What?
You heard me.
I want...to work...alone.
Oh, come on.
I said I was sorry.
Okay.
What's the problem here?
He uploaded a highly
confidential video of me
onto the Internet.
You labeled
the files wrong!
I got confused!
It was your
camera, bro!
Don't lay this on me!
Well, I took the video down
before it spread, didn't I?
Oh. You mean this video?
[BEEP]
HI FIVE: It's recording.
For those of you
who didn't believe me,
I'm gonna be the first person
to successfully fry
a south of the line
chile relleno.
Okay. Here it goes, bro.
[SIZZLE]
[SCREAMING]
[LAUGHTER]
Classic Muscle Man.
Yeah! this thing has like
50 million hits, too!
It's funny because all
of his clothes burned off!
[LAUGHTER]
Look, Muscle Man, I--
No.
Don't even say it, bro.
The damage is done.
I never want to speak
to you again.
Well-- Well, okay,
if that's what you want.
I got to go.
Excuse me!
Uh... All right.
Muscle Man, in that case, you'll
be with Mordecai and Rigby.
I guess that's it.
I'm gonna go and process
all of this.
Dude, Muscle Man.
Hi Five Ghost
took that pretty bad.
Maybe you should go
talk to him.
Yeah, right.
I'm glad he feels bad.
I'm never speaking
to that traitor again.
Come on, dude.
That's crazy.
Yeah! You guys have been
best friends forever.
That so, bro?
What? What are you
talking about?
When I first met Hi Five Ghost,
I couldn't stand him.
MUSCLE MAN:
See, back in high school,
I was the most popular
guy for miles.
Hey, it's Muscle Man!
Hey, Muscle Man!
Hey, Muscle Man!
Hey! You're not
Muscle Man!
[♪♪♪]
[ENGINE REVS]
Hey, Muscle Man.
How's it going?
Oh, what am I saying?
You're the most popular
guy in school.
You're probably
doing great.
You're right,
Reggie.
I am doing great.
[ROCK MUSIC BLARING]
[BOTH GASP]
[ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES]
[TIRES SCREECH]
Wow!
Whoa! Cool!
Your car
is really amazing.
Oh, thanks.
It's a stick shift.
ALL:
Whoa!
Well, I'll be
seeing you.
ALL:
Bye! See ya!
Wow!
That guy's cool!
If you don't watch
yourself, Muscle Man,
you might not be
cool anymore.
[LAUGHS]
Hey, that's just
a joke, Muscle Man.
You know how you like
Reggie's jokes.
Yeah. [CHUCKLES] A joke.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
Class, we have a new
student joining us today.
So, tell us a little bit
about yourself.
Well, I moved here
from Wichita
and I really like music and,
uh, my name's Hi Five Ghost,
but my friends
call me Fives.
Well, then, I guess
no one calls you Fives.
Get it? Because
you have no friends!
[LAUGHS]
No. I have tons of friends.
Do you want me
to be your friend?
You seem pretty uncomfortable
about not having friends.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah, well, you know who else
doesn't have any friends?
My Mom! Ha!
[LAUGHS]
That's really funny, but
that's-- that's really sad.
You should be more
considerate of your mother.
You'd probably
hurt her feelings
if she heard you
talking like that.
Ooh! New kid
schooled you!
No, he didn't!
As a third-rate
substitute teacher,
I have to say you got
schooled, chimichanga pecs.
[LAUGHTER]
Who does that guy
think he is?
I think he said
his name was
Hi Five Ghost.
Uh, I know that, Reggie.
It was a reporical question.
[BOTH GIGGLING]
Hey, Reggie,
check this out.
Oh, yeah, Muscle Man!
Go knock 'em dead!
[GIGGLING]
Hey, ladies.
do you like buns?
[GIGGLES]
Yeah.
Then check out
these butt cheeks.
Excuse me. Could one
of you girls tell me
where room 210 is?
Oh,
I'll show you.
Not if I show him
first, Lacey!
Oh. I'm sure both of you
are great with directions.
Uh, could you both show me?
We'll get you
to room 210.
Hey, the show's
not over.
[GRUNTS]
Oh. that's an
impressive physique.
Whoa.
See you later.
Wait! I need
directions, too!
Oh, it's on, bro.
[RINGING]
Hi. Mind if I
sit with you?
Yes, I do.
Oh, thanks.
So, I see
you like nachos.
So do I.
What a coincidence.
[CHUCKLES]
Is that so?
Let's see how much
you really like them.
Reggie!
Nacho-eating contest!
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
[GROANS]
Fives! Fives! Fives!
[GULPS]
[ALL CHEER]
He's got to be, like,
the coolest dude around!
Let's give the new guy the
best parking spot on campus!
Fives! Fives!
Fives! Fives! Fives!
[ALL GRUNT]
Fives! Fives! Fives!
[ALL CHEER]
Aw, man!
That was a really
convenient spot!
Can you believe this, Reggie?
Reggie?
Reggie, get over here!
Uh... I-I think I'm gonna
hang out with Fives now.
What? Reggie,
how could you do this to me?
I'm sorry, bro.
In life, things gotta change,
like going from not so cool
to very cool,
and hanging out with this guy
will make me very cool.
Aw, thanks. I'm glad
you think so, Reggie.
Sure, man.
You're my best friend.
Up high, bro!
That's...it!
I challenge you to
a drag race, new kid.
If I win, I get
my parking spot back,
which means I'll be
the coolest guy on campus
and you might as well
move back to Wichichusetts.
Wichita.
Whichever.
Tomorrow after school
at the park,
we go "mano e mano."
Be there!
Oh, uh, sure.
If it's a race you want,
then it's a race
you'll get, I guess.
You hear that,
everybody?!
Drag race
tomorrow!
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
[ENGINE REVS]
Huh?
I like what you did
to your truck.
The spoiler's pretty cool.
Well, I hate
to spoil the ending,
but I'm gonna
win this race,
and then things are gonna go
back to the way they were.
The way they should be.
Oh. Uh, eyes on
the prize, huh?
[ENGINE REVS]
Sorry. What was that?
Oh, I said--
[ENGINE REVS]
I said--
[ENGINE REVVING]
All righty!
The first one to make it
to the end of Devil's Run,
is the coolest guy
in school!
Go!
[ENGINES REV]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
[ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES]
Time to take a shortcut.
What?
[ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES]
[LAUGHS]
Time to jump this gorge.
[ENGINE REVS]
Ugh!
Time to freak out!
[WHIMPERING]
Hmm?
[ALL CHEERING]
Home free.
Huh?!
[WHIMPERING]
They're gonna crash
into Eagle's Rock!
We got to bail!
On 3! 1...
Whoa, whoa!
Who said you could count?!
...3!
BOTH: Whoa!
[ENGINES REV]
[♪♪♪]
[GRUNTS]
Muscle Man,
take my hand!
Why?!
I was a complete jerk to you!
That doesn't matter now!
Just grab on!
[WHIMPERING]
[HIGH FIVE GRUNTS]
I'm too heavy!
Just let me go!
You're too cool to die
because of me, bro!
You've always been
cooler than me!
What? No way!
I always thought
you were the coolest!
No one's jokes have
ever made me laugh
as hard as yours.
Really? Wow!
Maybe we could have been
best friends.
[GROANS]
Noo!
[GRUNTING]
You -- you saved me.
I'm sorry for being such a jerk
to you, Mile High Ghoul.
It's Hi Five Ghost.
But you can call me Fives.
You still want your
parking spot back?
Nah. Both our cars
are destroyed, anyway.
Hey! What did you
ruffians do to my park?!
Scatter!
Get back here!
Rotten kids.
Pops,
promise me you won't let
things like this happen
when you
are park manager.
Pops?
[LAUGHS]
Look at the penny go, papa!
Eh, I got to hire somebody else
to take care of this place.
[POPS LAUGHS]
Dude, want to come back later
and crash stuff into the pit?
Okay.
I'm cool with that.
Yes!
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Yeah. Ever since then, Fives
and me have been best bros.
practically inseparable.
So, does that mean
you're gonna forgive him?
Forgive him for what?
Oh.
Remember when this
used to be a crash pit?
Yeah.
I wish it was still here
so I could crash this
dumb argument in it.
Look, I'm really sorry
about the video.
I shouldn't have
overreacted.
if anyone should apologize,
it should be me.
besides, a thousand
embarrassing videos
could never tear apart
our friendship.
I'm sorry,
Hi Five Ghoul.
[CHUCKLES]
Call me Fives.
[BOTH LAUGH]
[♪♪♪]
BENSON:
All right. We got
a lot of big jobs,
so we're gonna work
in pairs today.
Pops and Skips, spray the
paddleboats down by the docks.
Mordecai and Rigby, take out
the trash by the snack bar.
Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost,
my A team,
I need you two
to work your magic
and remove those old
stumps by the playground.
Uh, I'd rather
work alone today.
[ALL GASP]
What?
You heard me.
I want...to work...alone.
Oh, come on.
I said I was sorry.
Okay.
What's the problem here?
He uploaded a highly
confidential video of me
onto the Internet.
You labeled
the files wrong!
I got confused!
It was your
camera, bro!
Don't lay this on me!
Well, I took the video down
before it spread, didn't I?
Oh. You mean this video?
[BEEP]
HI FIVE: It's recording.
For those of you
who didn't believe me,
I'm gonna be the first person
to successfully fry
a south of the line
chile relleno.
Okay. Here it goes, bro.
[SIZZLE]
[SCREAMING]
[LAUGHTER]
Classic Muscle Man.
Yeah! this thing has like
50 million hits, too!
It's funny because all
of his clothes burned off!
[LAUGHTER]
Look, Muscle Man, I--
No.
Don't even say it, bro.
The damage is done.
I never want to speak
to you again.
Well-- Well, okay,
if that's what you want.
I got to go.
Excuse me!
Uh... All right.
Muscle Man, in that case, you'll
be with Mordecai and Rigby.
I guess that's it.
I'm gonna go and process
all of this.
Dude, Muscle Man.
Hi Five Ghost
took that pretty bad.
Maybe you should go
talk to him.
Yeah, right.
I'm glad he feels bad.
I'm never speaking
to that traitor again.
Come on, dude.
That's crazy.
Yeah! You guys have been
best friends forever.
That so, bro?
What? What are you
talking about?
When I first met Hi Five Ghost,
I couldn't stand him.
MUSCLE MAN:
See, back in high school,
I was the most popular
guy for miles.
Hey, it's Muscle Man!
Hey, Muscle Man!
Hey, Muscle Man!
Hey! You're not
Muscle Man!
[♪♪♪]
[ENGINE REVS]
Hey, Muscle Man.
How's it going?
Oh, what am I saying?
You're the most popular
guy in school.
You're probably
doing great.
You're right,
Reggie.
I am doing great.
[ROCK MUSIC BLARING]
[BOTH GASP]
[ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES]
[TIRES SCREECH]
Wow!
Whoa! Cool!
Your car
is really amazing.
Oh, thanks.
It's a stick shift.
ALL:
Whoa!
Well, I'll be
seeing you.
ALL:
Bye! See ya!
Wow!
That guy's cool!
If you don't watch
yourself, Muscle Man,
you might not be
cool anymore.
[LAUGHS]
Hey, that's just
a joke, Muscle Man.
You know how you like
Reggie's jokes.
Yeah. [CHUCKLES] A joke.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
Class, we have a new
student joining us today.
So, tell us a little bit
about yourself.
Well, I moved here
from Wichita
and I really like music and,
uh, my name's Hi Five Ghost,
but my friends
call me Fives.
Well, then, I guess
no one calls you Fives.
Get it? Because
you have no friends!
[LAUGHS]
No. I have tons of friends.
Do you want me
to be your friend?
You seem pretty uncomfortable
about not having friends.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah, well, you know who else
doesn't have any friends?
My Mom! Ha!
[LAUGHS]
That's really funny, but
that's-- that's really sad.
You should be more
considerate of your mother.
You'd probably
hurt her feelings
if she heard you
talking like that.
Ooh! New kid
schooled you!
No, he didn't!
As a third-rate
substitute teacher,
I have to say you got
schooled, chimichanga pecs.
[LAUGHTER]
Who does that guy
think he is?
I think he said
his name was
Hi Five Ghost.
Uh, I know that, Reggie.
It was a reporical question.
[BOTH GIGGLING]
Hey, Reggie,
check this out.
Oh, yeah, Muscle Man!
Go knock 'em dead!
[GIGGLING]
Hey, ladies.
do you like buns?
[GIGGLES]
Yeah.
Then check out
these butt cheeks.
Excuse me. Could one
of you girls tell me
where room 210 is?
Oh,
I'll show you.
Not if I show him
first, Lacey!
Oh. I'm sure both of you
are great with directions.
Uh, could you both show me?
We'll get you
to room 210.
Hey, the show's
not over.
[GRUNTS]
Oh. that's an
impressive physique.
Whoa.
See you later.
Wait! I need
directions, too!
Oh, it's on, bro.
[RINGING]
Hi. Mind if I
sit with you?
Yes, I do.
Oh, thanks.
So, I see
you like nachos.
So do I.
What a coincidence.
[CHUCKLES]
Is that so?
Let's see how much
you really like them.
Reggie!
Nacho-eating contest!
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
[GROANS]
Fives! Fives! Fives!
[GULPS]
[ALL CHEER]
He's got to be, like,
the coolest dude around!
Let's give the new guy the
best parking spot on campus!
Fives! Fives!
Fives! Fives! Fives!
[ALL GRUNT]
Fives! Fives! Fives!
[ALL CHEER]
Aw, man!
That was a really
convenient spot!
Can you believe this, Reggie?
Reggie?
Reggie, get over here!
Uh... I-I think I'm gonna
hang out with Fives now.
What? Reggie,
how could you do this to me?
I'm sorry, bro.
In life, things gotta change,
like going from not so cool
to very cool,
and hanging out with this guy
will make me very cool.
Aw, thanks. I'm glad
you think so, Reggie.
Sure, man.
You're my best friend.
Up high, bro!
That's...it!
I challenge you to
a drag race, new kid.
If I win, I get
my parking spot back,
which means I'll be
the coolest guy on campus
and you might as well
move back to Wichichusetts.
Wichita.
Whichever.
Tomorrow after school
at the park,
we go "mano e mano."
Be there!
Oh, uh, sure.
If it's a race you want,
then it's a race
you'll get, I guess.
You hear that,
everybody?!
Drag race
tomorrow!
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
[ENGINE REVS]
Huh?
I like what you did
to your truck.
The spoiler's pretty cool.
Well, I hate
to spoil the ending,
but I'm gonna
win this race,
and then things are gonna go
back to the way they were.
The way they should be.
Oh. Uh, eyes on
the prize, huh?
[ENGINE REVS]
Sorry. What was that?
Oh, I said--
[ENGINE REVS]
I said--
[ENGINE REVVING]
All righty!
The first one to make it
to the end of Devil's Run,
is the coolest guy
in school!
Go!
[ENGINES REV]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
[ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES]
Time to take a shortcut.
What?
[ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES]
[LAUGHS]
Time to jump this gorge.
[ENGINE REVS]
Ugh!
Time to freak out!
[WHIMPERING]
Hmm?
[ALL CHEERING]
Home free.
Huh?!
[WHIMPERING]
They're gonna crash
into Eagle's Rock!
We got to bail!
On 3! 1...
Whoa, whoa!
Who said you could count?!
...3!
BOTH: Whoa!
[ENGINES REV]
[♪♪♪]
[GRUNTS]
Muscle Man,
take my hand!
Why?!
I was a complete jerk to you!
That doesn't matter now!
Just grab on!
[WHIMPERING]
[HIGH FIVE GRUNTS]
I'm too heavy!
Just let me go!
You're too cool to die
because of me, bro!
You've always been
cooler than me!
What? No way!
I always thought
you were the coolest!
No one's jokes have
ever made me laugh
as hard as yours.
Really? Wow!
Maybe we could have been
best friends.
[GROANS]
Noo!
[GRUNTING]
You -- you saved me.
I'm sorry for being such a jerk
to you, Mile High Ghoul.
It's Hi Five Ghost.
But you can call me Fives.
You still want your
parking spot back?
Nah. Both our cars
are destroyed, anyway.
Hey! What did you
ruffians do to my park?!
Scatter!
Get back here!
Rotten kids.
Pops,
promise me you won't let
things like this happen
when you
are park manager.
Pops?
[LAUGHS]
Look at the penny go, papa!
Eh, I got to hire somebody else
to take care of this place.
[POPS LAUGHS]
Dude, want to come back later
and crash stuff into the pit?
Okay.
I'm cool with that.
Yes!
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Yeah. Ever since then, Fives
and me have been best bros.
practically inseparable.
So, does that mean
you're gonna forgive him?
Forgive him for what?
Oh.
Remember when this
used to be a crash pit?
Yeah.
I wish it was still here
so I could crash this
dumb argument in it.
Look, I'm really sorry
about the video.
I shouldn't have
overreacted.
if anyone should apologize,
it should be me.
besides, a thousand
embarrassing videos
could never tear apart
our friendship.
I'm sorry,
Hi Five Ghoul.
[CHUCKLES]
Call me Fives.
[BOTH LAUGH]
[♪♪♪]