Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 6, Episode 12 - Sad Sax - full transcript
Mordecai tries to get back with CJ.
[♪♪♪]
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
[WIND HOWLING]
[SIGHS]
[GROANS]
[THUNDER CRASHES]
C.J., wait!
Man.
I hate mistletoe.
[BELL JINGLES]
Uh, hey, C.J.
Thanks for coming.
Heh.
It's great to see you.
How's your week been going?
So, you wanted
to tell me something?
Oh, uh, right. One sec.
I got you something.
And I made
this mixtape.
All the songs
are apologies.
I'll listen to it
in the car.
Mordecai, just be...
Look, C.J., I wanted to...
Aah!
C.J., I'm really sorry.
I don't know what happened.
You don't?
Because I can
refresh your memory.
No, no.
I just mean it was crazy.
It didn't mean
anything, I swear.
Margaret and I--
All that stuff is in the past.
It was just--
It was midnight,
and we were under mistletoe.
I was bound by mistletoe rules.
I think that's like
a real law in some countries.
Eileen,
back me up on this.
Mordecai, what you did
was really lame.
It took me this week
to start feeling
like I could look
at your face
without wanting to break
a chair over it.
Understandable.
But if you're being honest
about this mistletoe
thing, I mean...
I missed you.
I feel like
I'm ready
to forgive
and forget.
Whew!
As long as you swear
there's nothing going on
with you and Margaret.
I swear. Honest.
I just want things to go back
to how they were before.
Yeah. Me too.
♪ Hangin' with Margaret
just a-feels so good ♪
Margaret?
[THUNDER CRASHES]
Oh, "in the past," huh?
I thought it was.
Then why is she calling you?
I don't know.
Why is she calling me?
Nice custom ringtone,
you jerk!
C.J.! Wait!
[BELL JINGLES]
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
Huh?
[SAXOPHONE SQUEAKS]
Oh, hey! Mordecai!
Haven't seen you in a couple
of days. How you doing?
Hey, Sad Sax guy.
What are you doing here?
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
I go wherever I'm needed.
Let me guess.
Girl problems?
Actually, yeah.
How'd you know?
Brother, they don't
call me Sad Sax guy
just because I play
the sax and cry a lot.
I know a broken heart
when I see one.
You tell me
all about it,
and let's see if we can get
this whole mess sorted out.
Well...I was at
this party, and...
Ah! Mistletoe incident?
Pff! Say no more, bro.
I know all about it.
I'll tell you what,
because I'm a man of romance,
I'm gonna get you two
back together.
You are? How?
I know a guy.
He'll hook you up.
[DOG BARKS]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
♪ Ohhh ♪
♪ Here's a singing telegram
Apology in song ♪
♪ Mordecai was quite a jerk,
He knows he did you wrong ♪
♪ But let's be fair, he... ♪
Okay, okay.
Hold on a sec.
Do you know what he
actually did to me?
Well, they don't give us
that information, ma'am.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
So...did it work?
You disgust me.
♪ Ohhh ♪
Hoo! It's worse
than I thought.
That guy's successfully
apologized for arson.
Whew! This is a tough one.
[MUNCHES]
No worries, though, brother.
Lucky for you...
[GULPS]
...I'm full of brilliant ideas.
So, what should I
try next?
Well, if I know women,
and let's be honest,
I do,
I know there's one thing they'll
love more than anything else,
embarrassingly
elaborate
public displays
of affection.
Here's the plan.
[♪♪♪]
Mordecai, stop!
Don't do it!
Rigby, get off!
What are you talking about?
Don't act like
you don't know.
You've been talking to that
saxophone guy again. Admit it!
So what if I have?
Dude, he gives
the worst advice.
Remember when he gave you
advice in art school
'cause you were
failing sculpture?
Pff! That's it? Easy.
Make a sculpture of your
instructor's "human form."
Yeah, that didn't
go so well.
You think?
It'll be different this time.
He says
he understands women.
He doesn't even understand
how to wear a shirt!
Whatever, dude.
Talk to me
when your relationship
advice is any better.
Dang, man!
I can't believe
faking your death
didn't work.
Okay. Okay.
I got this.
C.J.'s mad 'cause you smooched
another lady, right?
So, just call up this other lady
and get her to talk to C.J.
and clear the air.
Get Margaret
to talk to C.J.?
That sounds pretty risky.
You don't get anywhere in
life without risks, brother.
I take stupid risks
all the time, and look at me!
Thanks for coming,
Margaret.
I'm just glad
we could finally talk.
I'm sorry
for any trouble
I caused you guys,
but I don't think
it's a good idea for me
to get involved.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
If it's any consolation,
I think C.J. will come around.
Thanks, Margaret.
You're
a good friend.
Listen, Mordecai.
Maybe I shouldn't have broken
that sign on your head.
And I guess the cheerleader
thing was kind of clever.
Oh, come on!
Huh?
C.J.!
[THUNDER CRASHES]
[ tires squeal ]
C.J., wait! Let me explain!
It was just a hug!
Sorry, Mordecai.
I better go before I somehow
make things even worse.
Good luck.
Bye.
Man. Bummer
week, huh?
No offense...
but your game could use
some serious tweaks, brother.
You!
This is your fault!
What'd I do?
I never should have
listened to you.
You don't know
anything about art
and you definitely don't
know anything about women!
I did everything
you told me,
and it just made everything
10 times worse!
Aaaah!
It's true!
I'm a total fraud!
I don't know nothin'
about nothin'.
[CRIES]
I just tell people what to do
to try and feel
like a big man!
I don't even know
how to play this thing,
except for one song!
And I wouldn't
even know that
if my mom hadn't forced me
to go take a lesson.
I'm a hot mess!
Wait! Of course!
Mordecai, that's it.
Your mom!
Are you calling
my mom a hot mess?
What? N-no, no.
I mean,
go ask your mom
for advice, brother!
They know everything.
Especially when
it comes to women.
Dude, that's the only good
advice you've ever given me.
MOM:
Boy,
you got yourself
into a real
hornet's nest
on this one, Mord.
I'll let you in
on a family secret.
Your Dad and I have been
married a long time now,
and I attribute
our success to one rule.
No lies?
That's the one!
A good,
honest conversation
can solve any problem.
No texting, no e-mails,
just the truth face-to-face.
But she won't
answer my phone calls,
let alone look me
in the face.
You'll just have to get
her attention first.
Then just follow
my other rule:
Go big or go home.
Or make her some food
in the shape of her face.
Thanks, Mom.
Ugh! You're super-sweaty.
[SCREAMING]
[♪♪♪]
Time to go big,
or go home.
Let's hurry, boys.
We still have
six nativity scenes
to take down tonight.
Hey!
That guy's messing
with our scissor lift!
Hey! Stop that!
We just took
all that stuff down!
Quit screwin' up
our profit margins, bro!
Yeah! Come down here
with those lights
so we can punch yours out!
Nice threat, dude.
Thanks.
It's kind of my thing.
I'm sorry!
I got to do this to get my
girlfriend to talk to me!
Nobody cares, bro!
Get off the lift and
take your beating!
Yeah! Didn't you
see the truck?
The party's over!
We don't get paid until
we take all these lights down!
The party's not over!
MORDECAI: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What's going on out there?
I don't know.
MORDECAI:
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
What the heck
is he doing?
Rigby, you're missing the part
where Dracula shows up.
Whoa!
[SHUDDERS]
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
What? Oh, man, no!
Whoa!
Rigby, please!
Aaaah!
Rigby, what the heck?!
Are you crazy or--
Mordecai?
[STRAINING]
[ZAPPING, BUZZING]
[♪♪♪]
It's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen in my life.
[SNIFFLES]
Me too.
[GRUNTING]
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
[GROANS]
My head.
Huh?
How you doing?
Never better.
I didn't think you were ever
gonna talk to me again.
Yeah. Nice trick
putting me down as your
emergency contact.
Yes!
I'm so smart.
So, look, I'm glad you're okay,
but we need to clear the air.
I have to know what's going on
between you and Margaret.
No more weirdness, no candy,
no teddy bears.
Be straight with me.
Margaret and I...
Margaret means a lot to me.
I was in love with Margaret
for a long time,
and when we broke up,
it hurt for just as long.
Seeing her
at the Christmas party
brought up a lot
of stuff for me
that I wasn't ready
to deal with,
and I acted like an idiot.
C.J., I messed up.
I feel terrible for hurting you.
But Margaret and I
are over now.
I understand
if you hate my guts.
I hope you know that I don't
want to be with anybody but you.
Thanks for being
honest, Mordecai.
I think we can give
this one more shot.
[CLICK, BED WHIRRING]
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
[♪♪♪]
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
[WIND HOWLING]
[SIGHS]
[GROANS]
[THUNDER CRASHES]
C.J., wait!
Man.
I hate mistletoe.
[BELL JINGLES]
Uh, hey, C.J.
Thanks for coming.
Heh.
It's great to see you.
How's your week been going?
So, you wanted
to tell me something?
Oh, uh, right. One sec.
I got you something.
And I made
this mixtape.
All the songs
are apologies.
I'll listen to it
in the car.
Mordecai, just be...
Look, C.J., I wanted to...
Aah!
C.J., I'm really sorry.
I don't know what happened.
You don't?
Because I can
refresh your memory.
No, no.
I just mean it was crazy.
It didn't mean
anything, I swear.
Margaret and I--
All that stuff is in the past.
It was just--
It was midnight,
and we were under mistletoe.
I was bound by mistletoe rules.
I think that's like
a real law in some countries.
Eileen,
back me up on this.
Mordecai, what you did
was really lame.
It took me this week
to start feeling
like I could look
at your face
without wanting to break
a chair over it.
Understandable.
But if you're being honest
about this mistletoe
thing, I mean...
I missed you.
I feel like
I'm ready
to forgive
and forget.
Whew!
As long as you swear
there's nothing going on
with you and Margaret.
I swear. Honest.
I just want things to go back
to how they were before.
Yeah. Me too.
♪ Hangin' with Margaret
just a-feels so good ♪
Margaret?
[THUNDER CRASHES]
Oh, "in the past," huh?
I thought it was.
Then why is she calling you?
I don't know.
Why is she calling me?
Nice custom ringtone,
you jerk!
C.J.! Wait!
[BELL JINGLES]
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
Huh?
[SAXOPHONE SQUEAKS]
Oh, hey! Mordecai!
Haven't seen you in a couple
of days. How you doing?
Hey, Sad Sax guy.
What are you doing here?
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
I go wherever I'm needed.
Let me guess.
Girl problems?
Actually, yeah.
How'd you know?
Brother, they don't
call me Sad Sax guy
just because I play
the sax and cry a lot.
I know a broken heart
when I see one.
You tell me
all about it,
and let's see if we can get
this whole mess sorted out.
Well...I was at
this party, and...
Ah! Mistletoe incident?
Pff! Say no more, bro.
I know all about it.
I'll tell you what,
because I'm a man of romance,
I'm gonna get you two
back together.
You are? How?
I know a guy.
He'll hook you up.
[DOG BARKS]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
♪ Ohhh ♪
♪ Here's a singing telegram
Apology in song ♪
♪ Mordecai was quite a jerk,
He knows he did you wrong ♪
♪ But let's be fair, he... ♪
Okay, okay.
Hold on a sec.
Do you know what he
actually did to me?
Well, they don't give us
that information, ma'am.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
So...did it work?
You disgust me.
♪ Ohhh ♪
Hoo! It's worse
than I thought.
That guy's successfully
apologized for arson.
Whew! This is a tough one.
[MUNCHES]
No worries, though, brother.
Lucky for you...
[GULPS]
...I'm full of brilliant ideas.
So, what should I
try next?
Well, if I know women,
and let's be honest,
I do,
I know there's one thing they'll
love more than anything else,
embarrassingly
elaborate
public displays
of affection.
Here's the plan.
[♪♪♪]
Mordecai, stop!
Don't do it!
Rigby, get off!
What are you talking about?
Don't act like
you don't know.
You've been talking to that
saxophone guy again. Admit it!
So what if I have?
Dude, he gives
the worst advice.
Remember when he gave you
advice in art school
'cause you were
failing sculpture?
Pff! That's it? Easy.
Make a sculpture of your
instructor's "human form."
Yeah, that didn't
go so well.
You think?
It'll be different this time.
He says
he understands women.
He doesn't even understand
how to wear a shirt!
Whatever, dude.
Talk to me
when your relationship
advice is any better.
Dang, man!
I can't believe
faking your death
didn't work.
Okay. Okay.
I got this.
C.J.'s mad 'cause you smooched
another lady, right?
So, just call up this other lady
and get her to talk to C.J.
and clear the air.
Get Margaret
to talk to C.J.?
That sounds pretty risky.
You don't get anywhere in
life without risks, brother.
I take stupid risks
all the time, and look at me!
Thanks for coming,
Margaret.
I'm just glad
we could finally talk.
I'm sorry
for any trouble
I caused you guys,
but I don't think
it's a good idea for me
to get involved.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
If it's any consolation,
I think C.J. will come around.
Thanks, Margaret.
You're
a good friend.
Listen, Mordecai.
Maybe I shouldn't have broken
that sign on your head.
And I guess the cheerleader
thing was kind of clever.
Oh, come on!
Huh?
C.J.!
[THUNDER CRASHES]
[ tires squeal ]
C.J., wait! Let me explain!
It was just a hug!
Sorry, Mordecai.
I better go before I somehow
make things even worse.
Good luck.
Bye.
Man. Bummer
week, huh?
No offense...
but your game could use
some serious tweaks, brother.
You!
This is your fault!
What'd I do?
I never should have
listened to you.
You don't know
anything about art
and you definitely don't
know anything about women!
I did everything
you told me,
and it just made everything
10 times worse!
Aaaah!
It's true!
I'm a total fraud!
I don't know nothin'
about nothin'.
[CRIES]
I just tell people what to do
to try and feel
like a big man!
I don't even know
how to play this thing,
except for one song!
And I wouldn't
even know that
if my mom hadn't forced me
to go take a lesson.
I'm a hot mess!
Wait! Of course!
Mordecai, that's it.
Your mom!
Are you calling
my mom a hot mess?
What? N-no, no.
I mean,
go ask your mom
for advice, brother!
They know everything.
Especially when
it comes to women.
Dude, that's the only good
advice you've ever given me.
MOM:
Boy,
you got yourself
into a real
hornet's nest
on this one, Mord.
I'll let you in
on a family secret.
Your Dad and I have been
married a long time now,
and I attribute
our success to one rule.
No lies?
That's the one!
A good,
honest conversation
can solve any problem.
No texting, no e-mails,
just the truth face-to-face.
But she won't
answer my phone calls,
let alone look me
in the face.
You'll just have to get
her attention first.
Then just follow
my other rule:
Go big or go home.
Or make her some food
in the shape of her face.
Thanks, Mom.
Ugh! You're super-sweaty.
[SCREAMING]
[♪♪♪]
Time to go big,
or go home.
Let's hurry, boys.
We still have
six nativity scenes
to take down tonight.
Hey!
That guy's messing
with our scissor lift!
Hey! Stop that!
We just took
all that stuff down!
Quit screwin' up
our profit margins, bro!
Yeah! Come down here
with those lights
so we can punch yours out!
Nice threat, dude.
Thanks.
It's kind of my thing.
I'm sorry!
I got to do this to get my
girlfriend to talk to me!
Nobody cares, bro!
Get off the lift and
take your beating!
Yeah! Didn't you
see the truck?
The party's over!
We don't get paid until
we take all these lights down!
The party's not over!
MORDECAI: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What's going on out there?
I don't know.
MORDECAI:
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
What the heck
is he doing?
Rigby, you're missing the part
where Dracula shows up.
Whoa!
[SHUDDERS]
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
What? Oh, man, no!
Whoa!
Rigby, please!
Aaaah!
Rigby, what the heck?!
Are you crazy or--
Mordecai?
[STRAINING]
[ZAPPING, BUZZING]
[♪♪♪]
It's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen in my life.
[SNIFFLES]
Me too.
[GRUNTING]
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
[GROANS]
My head.
Huh?
How you doing?
Never better.
I didn't think you were ever
gonna talk to me again.
Yeah. Nice trick
putting me down as your
emergency contact.
Yes!
I'm so smart.
So, look, I'm glad you're okay,
but we need to clear the air.
I have to know what's going on
between you and Margaret.
No more weirdness, no candy,
no teddy bears.
Be straight with me.
Margaret and I...
Margaret means a lot to me.
I was in love with Margaret
for a long time,
and when we broke up,
it hurt for just as long.
Seeing her
at the Christmas party
brought up a lot
of stuff for me
that I wasn't ready
to deal with,
and I acted like an idiot.
C.J., I messed up.
I feel terrible for hurting you.
But Margaret and I
are over now.
I understand
if you hate my guts.
I hope you know that I don't
want to be with anybody but you.
Thanks for being
honest, Mordecai.
I think we can give
this one more shot.
[CLICK, BED WHIRRING]
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
[♪♪♪]