Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 6, Episode 13 - Park Managers' Lunch - full transcript
The gang follows Benson to his Park Manager's Lunch hosted by Gene, the rival park manager, thinking that it is all just and elaborate hoax.
[♪♪♪]
BENSON:
All right, listen up.
Something really big
is happening
to me today.
It might change
my life forever.
I won't bore you
with the details, but,
you're gonna be unsupervised
for a few hours,
so do whatever
you want for lunch.
[ALL GASP]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
INDISTINCT: ...so awesome.
What was that?
We didn't say anything.
Oh, okay. Huh.
You g-- You guys
were asking how--
Nope. Weren't
asking you anything.
Fine. I'll tell you.
Gene has formally invited me
to a park managers' luncheon!
Gene? As in Gene,
the rival park manager?
Gene's lame!
That may be true,
but I've never
been invited,
and it's a huge honor,
not to mention
very exclusive.
This sounds bad.
I'm just gonna weigh in here
for a second.
This is a textbook
prank setup.
Invite 'em out, get 'em comfy,
then bam!
Egg in the face!
Or pie in the face.
Something ends up
in someone's face,
and it's usually not good.
[ALL MURMURING]
So you think I'm not
good enough to be included.
It has to be a prank!
No, that's not it.
It's just Gene...
No, I get it. Fine.
I'm not a good enough manager
to be recognized.
I'm glad to have
that cleared up!
You guys enjoy
your long lunch,
and next time, don't pry
into my private affairs!
So, what are we gonna
do about the lunch?
I was thinking pizza subs.
He means Benson's lunch, bro.
Try to stay on the level.
I don't trust Gene.
We got to follow Benson.
And then
we're getting pizza subs.
Let's keep that
on the table.
But first,
rescuing Benson.
Can we call it
"Operation Save Benson
Before Getting
Pizza Subs"?
Yeah, we'll vote
on it in the car.
[BEEPING]
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH WHISTLING]
Aw, man.
Raking?
I'd rather
play video games.
Yeah.
Or how about punchies?
[♪♪♪]
Oh! I fell!
Ugh! Leaves!
I can't see!
Ugh!
[COUGHING]
What the--?
What is happening?
Ugh! [SPITS]
Leaves in my mouth! Huh?
You gonna rake up
these leaves?!
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
Is the bug picking up
Benson's voice?
I don't know.
Let me check.
BENSON:
...so ridiculous, can't
even rake properly.
At least the other managers
will get a kick out of it.
"Benson, how was your day?"
"Oh, it was fine. Taught
some slackers a thing or two
about proper rake usage."
"That's great!
You must be real good at it,
judging from
those forearms."
"Oh, nah.
I used to be a drummer,
so, you know,
it's part of
the package deal."
Package set.
No, wait-- drum set! Ha!
What's this on my--?
Oh. it's a hair.
Ugh. It's so long.
I knew I should've
shaved this morning.
Maybe I can just pluck it out.
Eh, it's bad for your pores.
This makes me feel
uncomfortable.
I'm not ready to know
Benson like this.
GENE:
Eh, about six of one,
half a dozen of
the other, really.
Hey, hey! Benson's here!
It's Benson, everybody!
Hey, Benson.
Good to see you. Hello.
Oh, hiya, Benson.
Nice to meet you.
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah! Speaking of leaves,
earlier today, I was showing my
workers how to pick up leaves,
but I was a drummer so,
you know...
Yes, of course, Benson!
Let's sit down.
I hear the chicken and
waffles are to die for.
[CHUCKLES]
Order up.
[LAUGHTER]
Chicken and
waffles?
Ugh!
I'm so hungry!
I never had a lunch break!
Skips, could we get
a lunch break?
There's a pizza-sub place
two blocks away.
Pizza subs are
not off the table,
but we should really
stay put for now.
Ugh!
Fine! but if I starve
to death, I blame you!
GENE:
Now let's talk timesheets.
Alphabetical
or chronological?
BENSON:
Well, I'm really more of an
alphabetical kind of guy.
You know what they say:
A to Z, time ain't free!
[LAUGHTER]
And so then I said,
"What are you,
a managermaphobe?"
[LAUGHTER]
[BEEPS, STATIC]
Where'd the sound go?
Oh. Something
must have happened!
[♪♪♪]
[LAUGHTER]
Gene hit the bug!
That sly devil!
Looks like we'll have to
go inside, closer to the food.
Oh, no-o-o.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
Can I get you some drinks,
some starters?
Uh, no, thanks.
How about a cool
raspberry breezenade?
No.
Just trying to make you happy.
Fine, fine.
We'll have a, uh...
Raspberry Bumblebee.
That's the Boscoe's
spirit!
[GROAN]
Why didn't you
order any food?
Because we're
not here to eat.
But this place smells like--
It smells just like food!
Cameras, hidden mirrors--
I try to keep an eye
on them at all times.
Pizza subs are
a kind of food!
I can't take it!
Shush!
Everybody down.
We're in too deep!
Yeah, this was
a bad idea Rigby had.
Let's go.
Ugh!
Stop hitting me.
Your elbows are
weirdly pointy.
BENSON: Hey!
[ALL GASP]
Stop!
You stop right there!
What do you think
you're doing?
This is my
special luncheon!
We're trying to help.
We think you're
being set up.
No! They're just
taking me out to lunch!
Someone's finally--
[CHAIR SCRAPES]
Somebody's finally
recognizing my hard work!
But Gene--
You don't get it!
I've made sacrifices!
Stick hockey, drumming...
This is all I have left.
Park managing
is my life!
You want to make
me look like a jerk
in front of
my colleagues!
Sorry, Benson.
We didn't know--
No! Leave me alone!
You go rake those leaves!
Don't make me tell you twice!
[ALL SIGH]
I'm feeling something
almost as bad as hunger.
I think it's guilt, guys.
Yeah. He is a great
park manager.
Why wouldn't they want
to hang out with him?
It's us!
We're the jerks!
Chill, Pops.
Let's just go home and try
to forget this ever happened.
[SIGHS]
HI FIVE:
He looks so happy.
[♪♪♪]
ALL: What?!
They've got Benson!
[TIRES SQUEALING]
[♪♪♪]
[LAUGHS EVILLY]
Oh, man.
What are they doing to him?
Looks like some sort
of sacrifice.
We got to
get in somehow.
MUSCLE MAN:
Jackpot, bro.
[GASPS]
They catered with pizza subs?!
At least they have taste.
Ow!
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
Hey, why don't you
turn that frown
upside down?
You know it's just
my mask, Steve.
You guys changed up the masks,
and you didn't tell me.
You make fun of me
like this every Thursday,
and it's starting to
make me actually sad!
GENE:
Your attention!
Attention, please!
[GASPS]
With the Mask
of Silence secured,
we may begin
the ritual.
Brotherhood,
loyalty, discipline,
these are not
things you learn.
These are things you are.
Most people are like so much
sludge in the gutters,
filling space until
they're expunged.
but we are like
the sunrise,
cascading over
the pines,
silently,
illuminating...
No, Pops.
This is bad.
Oh, no!
We are park managers.
And what stands before us
is litter,
to be composted!
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
Now!
Huh? Stop them!
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
Thank us later!
Come on!
[PANTING]
[GASPS]
Hey, hands off
our pizza subs!
Those are
special order!
Follow them!
Follow them in your vehicles!
Tear them apart!
[♪♪♪]
All terr-a-a-a-ain!
Unh!
[GRUNTS]
Bad show!
[HISSES]
[MUFFLED SPEAKING]
[GRUNTS]
Unh!
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTS]
Aah! You owe me
a pizza sub!
[SCREAMS]
Nope. You're taking
a taxi, Steffen.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
I hate
this club.
Operation
"Save Benson" success!
That's not the name
we agreed on.
No need to
thank us, Benson.
[SPITS]
"Thank you"?
You've ruined everything!
ALL:
Huh?
Benson!
I can't believe I thought
you were lodge material!
"Lodge material"?
See?
That's what compost means.
They were gonna chop him up
to build a cabin!
You work at a park and you
don't know what compost means?
[SIGHS]
They were gonna cut me free
and release me into the
Brotherhood of the Lodge.
It's a very
sophisticated ritual
that I wouldn't expect a mere
subordinate to understand.
That's why they
weren't invited, Benson.
You can't control your
employees, so you're out!
What?
Those
are the worst employees
I've ever seen.
Therefore, you're the worst
park manager I've ever seen!
These knuckleheads couldn't tell
a lawn mower from a leaf blower!
Don't throw
my employees into this!
They were just trying
to protect me because
you're a crazy person
who's done nothing but prank us!
Yeah? And?
I thought I wanted
to be a lodge member,
but I would never
abandon my employees
to fit into some
overblown kids' clubhouse!
Now, if you would please
excuse yourselves,
we close at 6:00
on Thursdays.
[ALL CHEERING]
Ha!
Benson, you old
so-and-so!
that was
the final test!
ALL: Huh?
You and your employees
have truly displayed
our core values.
Welcome to the lodge, Benson.
I'm...in?
[ALL JEERING]
If you think, after all that,
I would still join your club...
then you're absolutely right!
Yes!
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
BENSON:
All right, listen up.
Something really big
is happening
to me today.
It might change
my life forever.
I won't bore you
with the details, but,
you're gonna be unsupervised
for a few hours,
so do whatever
you want for lunch.
[ALL GASP]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
INDISTINCT: ...so awesome.
What was that?
We didn't say anything.
Oh, okay. Huh.
You g-- You guys
were asking how--
Nope. Weren't
asking you anything.
Fine. I'll tell you.
Gene has formally invited me
to a park managers' luncheon!
Gene? As in Gene,
the rival park manager?
Gene's lame!
That may be true,
but I've never
been invited,
and it's a huge honor,
not to mention
very exclusive.
This sounds bad.
I'm just gonna weigh in here
for a second.
This is a textbook
prank setup.
Invite 'em out, get 'em comfy,
then bam!
Egg in the face!
Or pie in the face.
Something ends up
in someone's face,
and it's usually not good.
[ALL MURMURING]
So you think I'm not
good enough to be included.
It has to be a prank!
No, that's not it.
It's just Gene...
No, I get it. Fine.
I'm not a good enough manager
to be recognized.
I'm glad to have
that cleared up!
You guys enjoy
your long lunch,
and next time, don't pry
into my private affairs!
So, what are we gonna
do about the lunch?
I was thinking pizza subs.
He means Benson's lunch, bro.
Try to stay on the level.
I don't trust Gene.
We got to follow Benson.
And then
we're getting pizza subs.
Let's keep that
on the table.
But first,
rescuing Benson.
Can we call it
"Operation Save Benson
Before Getting
Pizza Subs"?
Yeah, we'll vote
on it in the car.
[BEEPING]
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH WHISTLING]
Aw, man.
Raking?
I'd rather
play video games.
Yeah.
Or how about punchies?
[♪♪♪]
Oh! I fell!
Ugh! Leaves!
I can't see!
Ugh!
[COUGHING]
What the--?
What is happening?
Ugh! [SPITS]
Leaves in my mouth! Huh?
You gonna rake up
these leaves?!
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
Is the bug picking up
Benson's voice?
I don't know.
Let me check.
BENSON:
...so ridiculous, can't
even rake properly.
At least the other managers
will get a kick out of it.
"Benson, how was your day?"
"Oh, it was fine. Taught
some slackers a thing or two
about proper rake usage."
"That's great!
You must be real good at it,
judging from
those forearms."
"Oh, nah.
I used to be a drummer,
so, you know,
it's part of
the package deal."
Package set.
No, wait-- drum set! Ha!
What's this on my--?
Oh. it's a hair.
Ugh. It's so long.
I knew I should've
shaved this morning.
Maybe I can just pluck it out.
Eh, it's bad for your pores.
This makes me feel
uncomfortable.
I'm not ready to know
Benson like this.
GENE:
Eh, about six of one,
half a dozen of
the other, really.
Hey, hey! Benson's here!
It's Benson, everybody!
Hey, Benson.
Good to see you. Hello.
Oh, hiya, Benson.
Nice to meet you.
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah! Speaking of leaves,
earlier today, I was showing my
workers how to pick up leaves,
but I was a drummer so,
you know...
Yes, of course, Benson!
Let's sit down.
I hear the chicken and
waffles are to die for.
[CHUCKLES]
Order up.
[LAUGHTER]
Chicken and
waffles?
Ugh!
I'm so hungry!
I never had a lunch break!
Skips, could we get
a lunch break?
There's a pizza-sub place
two blocks away.
Pizza subs are
not off the table,
but we should really
stay put for now.
Ugh!
Fine! but if I starve
to death, I blame you!
GENE:
Now let's talk timesheets.
Alphabetical
or chronological?
BENSON:
Well, I'm really more of an
alphabetical kind of guy.
You know what they say:
A to Z, time ain't free!
[LAUGHTER]
And so then I said,
"What are you,
a managermaphobe?"
[LAUGHTER]
[BEEPS, STATIC]
Where'd the sound go?
Oh. Something
must have happened!
[♪♪♪]
[LAUGHTER]
Gene hit the bug!
That sly devil!
Looks like we'll have to
go inside, closer to the food.
Oh, no-o-o.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
Can I get you some drinks,
some starters?
Uh, no, thanks.
How about a cool
raspberry breezenade?
No.
Just trying to make you happy.
Fine, fine.
We'll have a, uh...
Raspberry Bumblebee.
That's the Boscoe's
spirit!
[GROAN]
Why didn't you
order any food?
Because we're
not here to eat.
But this place smells like--
It smells just like food!
Cameras, hidden mirrors--
I try to keep an eye
on them at all times.
Pizza subs are
a kind of food!
I can't take it!
Shush!
Everybody down.
We're in too deep!
Yeah, this was
a bad idea Rigby had.
Let's go.
Ugh!
Stop hitting me.
Your elbows are
weirdly pointy.
BENSON: Hey!
[ALL GASP]
Stop!
You stop right there!
What do you think
you're doing?
This is my
special luncheon!
We're trying to help.
We think you're
being set up.
No! They're just
taking me out to lunch!
Someone's finally--
[CHAIR SCRAPES]
Somebody's finally
recognizing my hard work!
But Gene--
You don't get it!
I've made sacrifices!
Stick hockey, drumming...
This is all I have left.
Park managing
is my life!
You want to make
me look like a jerk
in front of
my colleagues!
Sorry, Benson.
We didn't know--
No! Leave me alone!
You go rake those leaves!
Don't make me tell you twice!
[ALL SIGH]
I'm feeling something
almost as bad as hunger.
I think it's guilt, guys.
Yeah. He is a great
park manager.
Why wouldn't they want
to hang out with him?
It's us!
We're the jerks!
Chill, Pops.
Let's just go home and try
to forget this ever happened.
[SIGHS]
HI FIVE:
He looks so happy.
[♪♪♪]
ALL: What?!
They've got Benson!
[TIRES SQUEALING]
[♪♪♪]
[LAUGHS EVILLY]
Oh, man.
What are they doing to him?
Looks like some sort
of sacrifice.
We got to
get in somehow.
MUSCLE MAN:
Jackpot, bro.
[GASPS]
They catered with pizza subs?!
At least they have taste.
Ow!
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
Hey, why don't you
turn that frown
upside down?
You know it's just
my mask, Steve.
You guys changed up the masks,
and you didn't tell me.
You make fun of me
like this every Thursday,
and it's starting to
make me actually sad!
GENE:
Your attention!
Attention, please!
[GASPS]
With the Mask
of Silence secured,
we may begin
the ritual.
Brotherhood,
loyalty, discipline,
these are not
things you learn.
These are things you are.
Most people are like so much
sludge in the gutters,
filling space until
they're expunged.
but we are like
the sunrise,
cascading over
the pines,
silently,
illuminating...
No, Pops.
This is bad.
Oh, no!
We are park managers.
And what stands before us
is litter,
to be composted!
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
Now!
Huh? Stop them!
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
Thank us later!
Come on!
[PANTING]
[GASPS]
Hey, hands off
our pizza subs!
Those are
special order!
Follow them!
Follow them in your vehicles!
Tear them apart!
[♪♪♪]
All terr-a-a-a-ain!
Unh!
[GRUNTS]
Bad show!
[HISSES]
[MUFFLED SPEAKING]
[GRUNTS]
Unh!
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTS]
Aah! You owe me
a pizza sub!
[SCREAMS]
Nope. You're taking
a taxi, Steffen.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
I hate
this club.
Operation
"Save Benson" success!
That's not the name
we agreed on.
No need to
thank us, Benson.
[SPITS]
"Thank you"?
You've ruined everything!
ALL:
Huh?
Benson!
I can't believe I thought
you were lodge material!
"Lodge material"?
See?
That's what compost means.
They were gonna chop him up
to build a cabin!
You work at a park and you
don't know what compost means?
[SIGHS]
They were gonna cut me free
and release me into the
Brotherhood of the Lodge.
It's a very
sophisticated ritual
that I wouldn't expect a mere
subordinate to understand.
That's why they
weren't invited, Benson.
You can't control your
employees, so you're out!
What?
Those
are the worst employees
I've ever seen.
Therefore, you're the worst
park manager I've ever seen!
These knuckleheads couldn't tell
a lawn mower from a leaf blower!
Don't throw
my employees into this!
They were just trying
to protect me because
you're a crazy person
who's done nothing but prank us!
Yeah? And?
I thought I wanted
to be a lodge member,
but I would never
abandon my employees
to fit into some
overblown kids' clubhouse!
Now, if you would please
excuse yourselves,
we close at 6:00
on Thursdays.
[ALL CHEERING]
Ha!
Benson, you old
so-and-so!
that was
the final test!
ALL: Huh?
You and your employees
have truly displayed
our core values.
Welcome to the lodge, Benson.
I'm...in?
[ALL JEERING]
If you think, after all that,
I would still join your club...
then you're absolutely right!
Yes!
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]