Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja (2012–2015): Season 1, Episode 25 - Bash Johnson: 11th Grade Ninja - full transcript
- ¶ Go, Ninja! ¶
- [Randy] I was chosen
to protect my school
from the forces of evil.
I am the Ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
¶ Smoke bomb! ¶
[groaning]
I am so sick of McFist.
He's come after me
every day for two weeks.
[Randy] Where do you
think you're going?
[yelling]
[grunting]
- [Randy chuckles]
- [McFist] Go on...
- Huh?
- Take it!
- Take it!
- [groaning]
[belches] OK, that last
one was just insulting.
Listen, I don't care
what we do today,
as long as it has
zero percent to do
with Hannibal McFist.
People of Norrisville,
put your fist together
for the man of the hour,
- Hannibal McFist!
- [people cheering]
What? A festival?
In honor of me?
And the 50th anniversary
of McSquiddles?
- But mostly me?
- [groans]
Viceroy you rascal,
you shouldn't have!
- But you told me to.
- I'm sure I didn't!
[people cheering]
- Howard, did you
know about this?
- I'm sure I didn't.
[laughing] Yay!
A half century ago,
my father launched
an empire with this:
the first McSquiddle!
- [people oohing]
- It's meat-flavored.
Oh, McSquiddle Zero!
Original!
Original flavor!
I've tasted
every one but you.
Today that will change.
Look at him.
What a jerk-wad.
- [crowd cheering]
- There you go, McSquiddy.
Enjoy your day.
Well, our day.
Actually, it's my day.
[cheering]
If these people knew
what I knew about McFist,
they'd cheer a
different tune.
One that goes "Boo!"
Cunningham,
nobody cheers like that.
Besides, they love the guy.
- There's nothing
you can do about it.
- Oh, yes there is.
I could expose that lying
liar for the Ninja-hating
Ninja-hater he is!
Just one second,
I'm so sorry.
Whoa!
- [giggles]
- [angry buzzing]
[screams]
Oh, that's gotta sting.
"Provoke your enemy
and he will fight back."
That's right, Nomicon!
McFist has poked
this hornets' nest
one too many time.
I'm the nest! Provoked!
[screams] Garbage Cat!
Yes!
[giggles]
- Say "McSquiddle."
- McSquiddle!
[all gasping]
[sighs]
[sighs] I can't
wait to smell it.
Maybe lick it a little.
I gotta get a taste...
That's right!
Get a pic with the
most beloved man in town!
[chuckles] The Ninja...
The Ninja! Ah...
I meant, me!
Me is what we're
commemorating.
[growls]
[screams] If he
messes up my day...
- If he messes up my day...
- [Ninja] Smoke bomb!
[audience cheering]
- Ah! Get him!
- [audience goes silent]
Hannibal,
everyone's watching...
Uh... I mean, hey!
How's the ninja biz
treating you?
Don't play McFriendly
with me, McFist.
I'm here to show
these good people
that you're an evil
villain out to wonk
the Ninja!
- [people murmuring]
- Don't take that from him.
You're a benevolent
business man.
You would say that, Viceroy.
You created all
of his W.N.D.'s!
[silence]
Weapons of Ninja Destruction.
- Ooh...
- Solid acronym.
Everything McFist makes
is secretly designed to
destroy the Ninja!
[gasping]
Like this McFro-Yo stand.
Switch it this way,
vanilla, but this way...
It's chocolate?
OK, but what about
when I do this!
- [groans]
- It's swirl.
- Who doesn't love a swirl?
- [cheering]
Oh...
OK, all right, but what
about this hat stand?
There's no way
these are just hats.
Come on, I'm right here.
You wanna destroy me?
You just gonna hold hats
like some kinda kiosk?
- [grunting]
- [people murmuring]
That's what I call
a crime of fashion.
That's what I call
a crime of fashion!
- [people laughing]
- Huh? The statue, of course!
- Ninja Tengu Fireball!
- [gasping]
- Ah! My statue!
- Oh, boy.
That wasn't a weapon.
[grunts]
[gasps]
[screams]
Squiddy!
[both] No!
- [crying]
- You've gone too far
this time, Ninja.
These people will
never believe that their
lovable gazillionaire
is actually
your arch enemy!
[crowd murmuring]
- Uh, Hannibal...
- Hold on, Viceroy.
Ninja, I'm going
to destroy you.
- [all gasping]
- I'm going to
blast you to pieces.
- [gasps]
- Not cool.
Hannibal,
your microphone's on.
And then I'm going to blast
those pieces to pieces!
Everybody can hear you!
[gasps] Uh... Eh ooh...
- McFist is a bad guy!
- He wants to destroy the Ninja!
No, it's not how it sounded.
It's a joke.
Uh, we were just
wonking around.
- Boo!
- [all booing]
Stop it. Stop it!
Uh...
[gasps] Ah!
What? The one time
I don't want McSquiddles
to rain from the sky.
Not meat... not meat...
- Not even candy.
- [people booing]
I did it! [humming]
Everybody hates McFist.
- Not me. I hate you.
- Huh?
- [people booing]
- Look at them.
I was beloved.
And now I'm... loved?
Unloved? What's the
opposite of beloved?
- You.
- Oh, that hurt.
Why don't I put on
your favorite program.
That'll cheer you up.
Ooh.
Newsflash, Weiner-peeps!
My twog's blowin' up!
Everyone's boycotting
McFist Industries.
It's the thing to do!
I'm sure it's not that bad.
It's way bad! McFist
Industries has a one-way
ticket to Splart City!
- Oh!
- Hannibal? Sir?
I've never been
splarted in my life!
[sobs]
- Oh my...
- [wailing]
Sadness. Is he...
Yes, he is.
This is... unexpected.
Awkward is what it is.
The whole town
turned on me.
And I lost Squiddy!
On the Squidtennial!
I'm ruined! [sobs]
You are, aren't you.
Your loss is my gain.
[grunting, exclaiming]
[screeching]
[screams]
McFist is a bad guy?
Skee-wow, man. Skee. Wow.
McFist pokes
the hornet's nest?
McFist gets stung! Ninja win!
I tricked you into coming
to this festival so that
I could have a good time,
and now you're
having my good time!
I hope this
comes back on you.
[gasps] You take that back!
I'm sorry, man.
I didn't mean it.
You know, that was just
a low meat-sugar talking.
Ah! That Garbage Cat
has the Meat-Squiddle!
- Get back here!
- This will not
come back on me.
- [loud growling]
- Coming back on me!
- What the juice!
- [growling]
Ninja Chaku!
Hi-yah!
Stanked McFist?
But this is his fault!
He poked the hornet's nest!
[gulps]
[grunting]
[screams]
Uh-oh. [screams]
[laughs] I can feel it.
The chaos! What's
happening out there?
- Whoa!
- Ooh!
- [growls]
- This just might work.
Ninja Sai Stopper!
Ninja Pyramid Sprint!
[growls]
Ninja Slipping Balls!
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Give me the McSquiddle,
Garbage Cat.
- [hisses]
- That's it.
[cat screeching]
Yes! Yes! I got it!
It's raining cats!
Skee-meow, man!
Skee-meow!
[grunts]
How do I de-stank
Hannibal McFist?
Couldn't be less interested.
An entire empire was
built on this 50 year old
meat-flavored ball of wax!
And I'm gonna eat it!
[howls]
That's it!
It's the McSquiddle!
Howard! No!
[belches] Why did I eat that?
- [howls]
- Yes, why did you eat that?
It's only the thing
he holds most...
Sorry, Howard.
I gotta poke the
hornet's nest.
Ninja Pukin' Poke!
Hannibal, as long as
people love McSquiddles,
they'll love
McFist Industries.
Boy, keep your hands away
from that conveyor belt!
- You can lose an arm!
- [whistles]
[growling]
[groans]
- What happened?
- I poked the hornet's nest.
Instead of protecting
Norrisville, I almost
shoobed it.
I see your mouth moving,
but everything's like
"blah blah blah."
I have to unpoke
the hornet's nest.
Whoa! There's a brain in my arm!
OK, hey! It's just
the stank-nesia, folks!
Turns out McFist was
only trying to destroy me
because he was a monster.
I was wrong. Honest mistake.
You know, it happens.
I turned into a monster once.
- Me, too!
- [all agreeing]
Don't know what
your angle is, Ninja,
but I'm still gonna
take you down.
I just have one
thing to say...
What? You're giving free
McFistPads to everyone?
But won't that
cost you a fortune?
Is this guy great
or what, right?
Boycott's over.
Hip-hip, McSquiddles!
[all cheering]
Smoke bomb!
[coughing] Oh!
We're talking about the
new McFistPads, right?
[growls]
[Sorcerer] What happened?
What's going on down there?
- I don't wanna tell you.
- Tell me!
The Ninja won.
[Sorcerer screams]
[Viceroy] That's why I
didn't want to tell you.
[screaming]
You're right, Nomicon.
I shoobed this one hard and
it might've gone better
if I'd listened to you.
[screaming]
OK, fine. It definitely
would've gone better
if I listened to you.
From now on,
I'll do whatever you say.
That's right!
I'm going Full-Nomicon!
NinjaNomicon says
"No go on the chicken parm."
Really?
That's what it said?
Well, actually it said,
"A Ninja without balance
will fall."
But since I had the parm
yesterday, I gotta balance it
out with Stroganoff today.
Full-Nomicon!
Ugh. Better you than me.
- How's Full-Nomicon tasting?
- [gulping]
Pretty bad. Ugh.
But it's worth it
if it makes me
a better ninja.
Your Nomicon-ing
is out of control!
You can't make a
single decision without
shloomping into that book!
When? Name one time.
Shower or no shower?
I didn't sweat much yesterday.
Better shloomp on it.
Um...
A or C?
A or C...
Better shloomp on it.
[grunts]
You goin' parm
or Stroganoff?
Better shloomp on it.
You can't count that one,
it just happened.
Besides, when
you go Full-Nomicon,
you go Full-Nomicon.
That's why it's
called Full-Nomicon.
Look, I can't talk
about this anymore.
I need to focus on
something important.
Barely Berry or ReChunkulous.
Better shloomp on it!
Let's talk dessert, Nomicon.
What should I get?
"A Ninja without
balance will fall."
Right. Which is what
you said last time.
So... Barely Berry?
Is that what we're thinking?
OK, ReChunkulous!
Listen, I'm trying to
go Full-Nomicon here,
but I do not know
what you're saying!
Oh, OK. Ask myself.
Gotcha. OK, me...
I'm leaning ReChunkulous,
but honestly... [grunts]
Pardon me, me,
but what the juice?
Ah!
OK, Nomicon,
you're in charge!
Now what do I do?
Hello?
What am I doing to me?
No! No!
All right, drop it on me.
How's the Nomicon gonna
wonk up fro-yo?
Yo, who cares
what the book says.
[gasps] Wait.
You're going...
No-Nomicon?
I'm going Barely-Chunk!
- [gulping]
- [girls groan]
[giggles] Cunningham's back!
I love it! Whoa! Whoa!
Slow down, save me some!
OK, Nomicon, time to untie me.
I learned my lesson.
It's, um...
OK, I didn't learn my lesson,
but we can still
lose the ropes here.
All right, balance...
Balance, balance...
[grunts]
[Randy] Hey,
lookin' good, girl.
What's up, P-Slims?
- How you doin'?
- It's me!
But it can't be me!
I'm in here!
If I'm in here then
that's gotta be...
Nomi-Randy.
You ran into me.
Now I gotta be
mean to you!
Uh-oh. This is going to hurt.
Yo, you sure about that?
[dance music plays]
[students gasping]
Uh... You confused me
with your dancing!
I'm gonna leave you alone
until I can figure out
what your deal is!
No-Nomicon is the cheese!
Wow, Randy. You have
the Bruce-est moves.
[chuckles]
Yo, what's up,
Weiner-babe.
Girl, how 'bout you
and I get together
and turn your Me-Cast
into a We-Cast!
[crying]
[sniffs] Ah...
Nothing tastes as sweet as
the scent of a broken heart.
[sniffs]
My sister, Cunningham.
Remember when
I said I like you
going No-Nomicon?
I take it back.
Do! Not! Like it!
[growling]
And don't think
we're done just because
you have to go Ninja.
Who's going to Ninja?
I'm hitting the Game Hole.
C'mon. My treat.
Can you do that?
Don't answer that!
Let's just go.
I'm lovin' the No-Nomicon.
Again!
Why aren't I stopping her?
Oh, right. That's not me.
I'm me! And I'm tied to a chair!
[grunts]
I don't get it.
I went Full-Nomicon.
Why aren't you
telling me what to do?
Just tell me what to do!
[chuckles] Oh, nice!
You delivered a
sack of punches to
the whole graveyard!
[video game]
Make your feet ready.
Time to run from dogs!
And here's
where you lose.
You stink at
run from dogs!
[video game]
These dogs are fed.
Your sack is filled two times!
You did it!
Slap it out.
Cunningham whiffed the slap?
He never whiffs a slap!
Hitting on my sister.
Ignoring a monster.
And now this?
What the juice is up with him?
Hm? You...
Hm.
Tell me what you did to
my friend or I'm going
to take you for a walk
down the back of my pants!
I hate you!
Yah!
Howard! You freed me!
What are you doing
in the Nomicon?
I'm in the NinjaNomicon?
So, my old enemy,
we finally meet.
Hm.
Pretty roomy for a book.
Hey. If you're in here.
Who's out there?
I call him Nomi-Randy,
and he's bad news.
Man, I am so glad
that wasn't you who
hit on my sister.
I did not wanna
have that talk.
- [screaming]
- [growling]
- You have to fix this.
- I know.
So, how are you
going to fix this?
I don't know. Nomicon
won't tell me what to do.
It just keeps
saying... that.
- [gasps]
- Yeah, I don't
get that at all.
I know. Why do you
think I wonk up so much?
I've been trying
not to fall.
Why do you think
I went Full-Nomicon?
Wait a minute...
That was too much Nomicon!
But Nomi-Randy
is no Nomicon.
I need to go Half-Nomicon!
Boom! Bam! Boom! Balance!
This is what you
guys do in here?
Cunningham,
what are you doing?
Getting my balance back!
I'll be here!
I did it. I'm out.
I'm... in Howard's body?
[gasps] Man, these
things really are dainty.
How'm I supposed to stop
my Nomi-self with these?
You're not.
Hey... me. Hand over my... self.
No honkin' way. I like it here.
We'll see how much you
like it when I do this!
[grunts]
[farts] I was
supposed to kick you.
Balance is a little off.
Working with a whole new
center of gravity here.
[laughs] Oof!
Yeah, Cunningham!
I mean, Weinerman.
Cunning... man? Weinerham?
Whatever. Just get him!
[screaming]
I barely even know Andy!
Randy! He named Randy!
[laughing]
Ooh! Down goes Nomi-Randy.
Feel like givin' up yet?
I'm Randy Cunningham.
I never give up.
I'm Randy Cunningham.
Oh boy.
- [grunts]
- [Nomi-Randy laughs]
[screams]
Must find a way out
of Howard and into me.
That is a weird
thing to say. Yah!
Oh, great. I'm gonna
feel that tomorrow.
Ha!
You know at first
I wasn't sold on the scarf,
but that thing looks
so Bruce right now.
Gotta get Nomi-Me out
of me, me out of Howard,
Howard into Howard,
and me into me, but how?
Nomicon Bag-alanche Throw!
Don't make me say
things like that!
[both screaming]
[both groaning]
- Cunningham?
- Howard?
- You're back!
- Yeah, I'm back. You back?
- I'm back! We're both back!
- [whooping]
[both] Yeah!
I hate to kill
the moment, but...
Theresa Fowler. I'm on it.
[grunts]
Why is there so much
garbage back here?
Please, Teezie-Feezie!
You can't do this!
We're total biffers!
- Smoke bomb!
- Oh Ninja, you got
to waste this chick!
- [growls]
- And I will...
with my Ninja Bouquet.
Theresa, these are, um...
so, there's this guy,
Randy Cunningham,
I think that's his name,
and he... and there was...
and he's sorry. Here!
Randy?
Randy... [sighs]
I guess Sandy isn't
such a bad guy after all.
It's Randy. Randy!
I just met the guy.
I know it's Randy.
Am I wrong about this?
Sheesh. Smoke bomb.
[grunts]
Some days it hardly
seems worth it.
Howard, being
inside of you...
Don't say that.
Never say that again.
...really taught me something.
Being the perfect ninja means
listening to the Nomicon.
But it also means
listening to me.
So, you're going
half-Nomicon, half-Cunningham.
What would you call that?
Nomi-Ham? Cunning-Con?
Let's just call it a swirl.
Ooh! Like Barely-Chunk!
[both] Barely-Chunk!
[sighs]
[up-tempo music]
Chirp.
[McFist] Ohh, that hurt.
- [Randy] I was chosen
to protect my school
from the forces of evil.
I am the Ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
¶ Smoke bomb! ¶
[groaning]
I am so sick of McFist.
He's come after me
every day for two weeks.
[Randy] Where do you
think you're going?
[yelling]
[grunting]
- [Randy chuckles]
- [McFist] Go on...
- Huh?
- Take it!
- Take it!
- [groaning]
[belches] OK, that last
one was just insulting.
Listen, I don't care
what we do today,
as long as it has
zero percent to do
with Hannibal McFist.
People of Norrisville,
put your fist together
for the man of the hour,
- Hannibal McFist!
- [people cheering]
What? A festival?
In honor of me?
And the 50th anniversary
of McSquiddles?
- But mostly me?
- [groans]
Viceroy you rascal,
you shouldn't have!
- But you told me to.
- I'm sure I didn't!
[people cheering]
- Howard, did you
know about this?
- I'm sure I didn't.
[laughing] Yay!
A half century ago,
my father launched
an empire with this:
the first McSquiddle!
- [people oohing]
- It's meat-flavored.
Oh, McSquiddle Zero!
Original!
Original flavor!
I've tasted
every one but you.
Today that will change.
Look at him.
What a jerk-wad.
- [crowd cheering]
- There you go, McSquiddy.
Enjoy your day.
Well, our day.
Actually, it's my day.
[cheering]
If these people knew
what I knew about McFist,
they'd cheer a
different tune.
One that goes "Boo!"
Cunningham,
nobody cheers like that.
Besides, they love the guy.
- There's nothing
you can do about it.
- Oh, yes there is.
I could expose that lying
liar for the Ninja-hating
Ninja-hater he is!
Just one second,
I'm so sorry.
Whoa!
- [giggles]
- [angry buzzing]
[screams]
Oh, that's gotta sting.
"Provoke your enemy
and he will fight back."
That's right, Nomicon!
McFist has poked
this hornets' nest
one too many time.
I'm the nest! Provoked!
[screams] Garbage Cat!
Yes!
[giggles]
- Say "McSquiddle."
- McSquiddle!
[all gasping]
[sighs]
[sighs] I can't
wait to smell it.
Maybe lick it a little.
I gotta get a taste...
That's right!
Get a pic with the
most beloved man in town!
[chuckles] The Ninja...
The Ninja! Ah...
I meant, me!
Me is what we're
commemorating.
[growls]
[screams] If he
messes up my day...
- If he messes up my day...
- [Ninja] Smoke bomb!
[audience cheering]
- Ah! Get him!
- [audience goes silent]
Hannibal,
everyone's watching...
Uh... I mean, hey!
How's the ninja biz
treating you?
Don't play McFriendly
with me, McFist.
I'm here to show
these good people
that you're an evil
villain out to wonk
the Ninja!
- [people murmuring]
- Don't take that from him.
You're a benevolent
business man.
You would say that, Viceroy.
You created all
of his W.N.D.'s!
[silence]
Weapons of Ninja Destruction.
- Ooh...
- Solid acronym.
Everything McFist makes
is secretly designed to
destroy the Ninja!
[gasping]
Like this McFro-Yo stand.
Switch it this way,
vanilla, but this way...
It's chocolate?
OK, but what about
when I do this!
- [groans]
- It's swirl.
- Who doesn't love a swirl?
- [cheering]
Oh...
OK, all right, but what
about this hat stand?
There's no way
these are just hats.
Come on, I'm right here.
You wanna destroy me?
You just gonna hold hats
like some kinda kiosk?
- [grunting]
- [people murmuring]
That's what I call
a crime of fashion.
That's what I call
a crime of fashion!
- [people laughing]
- Huh? The statue, of course!
- Ninja Tengu Fireball!
- [gasping]
- Ah! My statue!
- Oh, boy.
That wasn't a weapon.
[grunts]
[gasps]
[screams]
Squiddy!
[both] No!
- [crying]
- You've gone too far
this time, Ninja.
These people will
never believe that their
lovable gazillionaire
is actually
your arch enemy!
[crowd murmuring]
- Uh, Hannibal...
- Hold on, Viceroy.
Ninja, I'm going
to destroy you.
- [all gasping]
- I'm going to
blast you to pieces.
- [gasps]
- Not cool.
Hannibal,
your microphone's on.
And then I'm going to blast
those pieces to pieces!
Everybody can hear you!
[gasps] Uh... Eh ooh...
- McFist is a bad guy!
- He wants to destroy the Ninja!
No, it's not how it sounded.
It's a joke.
Uh, we were just
wonking around.
- Boo!
- [all booing]
Stop it. Stop it!
Uh...
[gasps] Ah!
What? The one time
I don't want McSquiddles
to rain from the sky.
Not meat... not meat...
- Not even candy.
- [people booing]
I did it! [humming]
Everybody hates McFist.
- Not me. I hate you.
- Huh?
- [people booing]
- Look at them.
I was beloved.
And now I'm... loved?
Unloved? What's the
opposite of beloved?
- You.
- Oh, that hurt.
Why don't I put on
your favorite program.
That'll cheer you up.
Ooh.
Newsflash, Weiner-peeps!
My twog's blowin' up!
Everyone's boycotting
McFist Industries.
It's the thing to do!
I'm sure it's not that bad.
It's way bad! McFist
Industries has a one-way
ticket to Splart City!
- Oh!
- Hannibal? Sir?
I've never been
splarted in my life!
[sobs]
- Oh my...
- [wailing]
Sadness. Is he...
Yes, he is.
This is... unexpected.
Awkward is what it is.
The whole town
turned on me.
And I lost Squiddy!
On the Squidtennial!
I'm ruined! [sobs]
You are, aren't you.
Your loss is my gain.
[grunting, exclaiming]
[screeching]
[screams]
McFist is a bad guy?
Skee-wow, man. Skee. Wow.
McFist pokes
the hornet's nest?
McFist gets stung! Ninja win!
I tricked you into coming
to this festival so that
I could have a good time,
and now you're
having my good time!
I hope this
comes back on you.
[gasps] You take that back!
I'm sorry, man.
I didn't mean it.
You know, that was just
a low meat-sugar talking.
Ah! That Garbage Cat
has the Meat-Squiddle!
- Get back here!
- This will not
come back on me.
- [loud growling]
- Coming back on me!
- What the juice!
- [growling]
Ninja Chaku!
Hi-yah!
Stanked McFist?
But this is his fault!
He poked the hornet's nest!
[gulps]
[grunting]
[screams]
Uh-oh. [screams]
[laughs] I can feel it.
The chaos! What's
happening out there?
- Whoa!
- Ooh!
- [growls]
- This just might work.
Ninja Sai Stopper!
Ninja Pyramid Sprint!
[growls]
Ninja Slipping Balls!
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Give me the McSquiddle,
Garbage Cat.
- [hisses]
- That's it.
[cat screeching]
Yes! Yes! I got it!
It's raining cats!
Skee-meow, man!
Skee-meow!
[grunts]
How do I de-stank
Hannibal McFist?
Couldn't be less interested.
An entire empire was
built on this 50 year old
meat-flavored ball of wax!
And I'm gonna eat it!
[howls]
That's it!
It's the McSquiddle!
Howard! No!
[belches] Why did I eat that?
- [howls]
- Yes, why did you eat that?
It's only the thing
he holds most...
Sorry, Howard.
I gotta poke the
hornet's nest.
Ninja Pukin' Poke!
Hannibal, as long as
people love McSquiddles,
they'll love
McFist Industries.
Boy, keep your hands away
from that conveyor belt!
- You can lose an arm!
- [whistles]
[growling]
[groans]
- What happened?
- I poked the hornet's nest.
Instead of protecting
Norrisville, I almost
shoobed it.
I see your mouth moving,
but everything's like
"blah blah blah."
I have to unpoke
the hornet's nest.
Whoa! There's a brain in my arm!
OK, hey! It's just
the stank-nesia, folks!
Turns out McFist was
only trying to destroy me
because he was a monster.
I was wrong. Honest mistake.
You know, it happens.
I turned into a monster once.
- Me, too!
- [all agreeing]
Don't know what
your angle is, Ninja,
but I'm still gonna
take you down.
I just have one
thing to say...
What? You're giving free
McFistPads to everyone?
But won't that
cost you a fortune?
Is this guy great
or what, right?
Boycott's over.
Hip-hip, McSquiddles!
[all cheering]
Smoke bomb!
[coughing] Oh!
We're talking about the
new McFistPads, right?
[growls]
[Sorcerer] What happened?
What's going on down there?
- I don't wanna tell you.
- Tell me!
The Ninja won.
[Sorcerer screams]
[Viceroy] That's why I
didn't want to tell you.
[screaming]
You're right, Nomicon.
I shoobed this one hard and
it might've gone better
if I'd listened to you.
[screaming]
OK, fine. It definitely
would've gone better
if I listened to you.
From now on,
I'll do whatever you say.
That's right!
I'm going Full-Nomicon!
NinjaNomicon says
"No go on the chicken parm."
Really?
That's what it said?
Well, actually it said,
"A Ninja without balance
will fall."
But since I had the parm
yesterday, I gotta balance it
out with Stroganoff today.
Full-Nomicon!
Ugh. Better you than me.
- How's Full-Nomicon tasting?
- [gulping]
Pretty bad. Ugh.
But it's worth it
if it makes me
a better ninja.
Your Nomicon-ing
is out of control!
You can't make a
single decision without
shloomping into that book!
When? Name one time.
Shower or no shower?
I didn't sweat much yesterday.
Better shloomp on it.
Um...
A or C?
A or C...
Better shloomp on it.
[grunts]
You goin' parm
or Stroganoff?
Better shloomp on it.
You can't count that one,
it just happened.
Besides, when
you go Full-Nomicon,
you go Full-Nomicon.
That's why it's
called Full-Nomicon.
Look, I can't talk
about this anymore.
I need to focus on
something important.
Barely Berry or ReChunkulous.
Better shloomp on it!
Let's talk dessert, Nomicon.
What should I get?
"A Ninja without
balance will fall."
Right. Which is what
you said last time.
So... Barely Berry?
Is that what we're thinking?
OK, ReChunkulous!
Listen, I'm trying to
go Full-Nomicon here,
but I do not know
what you're saying!
Oh, OK. Ask myself.
Gotcha. OK, me...
I'm leaning ReChunkulous,
but honestly... [grunts]
Pardon me, me,
but what the juice?
Ah!
OK, Nomicon,
you're in charge!
Now what do I do?
Hello?
What am I doing to me?
No! No!
All right, drop it on me.
How's the Nomicon gonna
wonk up fro-yo?
Yo, who cares
what the book says.
[gasps] Wait.
You're going...
No-Nomicon?
I'm going Barely-Chunk!
- [gulping]
- [girls groan]
[giggles] Cunningham's back!
I love it! Whoa! Whoa!
Slow down, save me some!
OK, Nomicon, time to untie me.
I learned my lesson.
It's, um...
OK, I didn't learn my lesson,
but we can still
lose the ropes here.
All right, balance...
Balance, balance...
[grunts]
[Randy] Hey,
lookin' good, girl.
What's up, P-Slims?
- How you doin'?
- It's me!
But it can't be me!
I'm in here!
If I'm in here then
that's gotta be...
Nomi-Randy.
You ran into me.
Now I gotta be
mean to you!
Uh-oh. This is going to hurt.
Yo, you sure about that?
[dance music plays]
[students gasping]
Uh... You confused me
with your dancing!
I'm gonna leave you alone
until I can figure out
what your deal is!
No-Nomicon is the cheese!
Wow, Randy. You have
the Bruce-est moves.
[chuckles]
Yo, what's up,
Weiner-babe.
Girl, how 'bout you
and I get together
and turn your Me-Cast
into a We-Cast!
[crying]
[sniffs] Ah...
Nothing tastes as sweet as
the scent of a broken heart.
[sniffs]
My sister, Cunningham.
Remember when
I said I like you
going No-Nomicon?
I take it back.
Do! Not! Like it!
[growling]
And don't think
we're done just because
you have to go Ninja.
Who's going to Ninja?
I'm hitting the Game Hole.
C'mon. My treat.
Can you do that?
Don't answer that!
Let's just go.
I'm lovin' the No-Nomicon.
Again!
Why aren't I stopping her?
Oh, right. That's not me.
I'm me! And I'm tied to a chair!
[grunts]
I don't get it.
I went Full-Nomicon.
Why aren't you
telling me what to do?
Just tell me what to do!
[chuckles] Oh, nice!
You delivered a
sack of punches to
the whole graveyard!
[video game]
Make your feet ready.
Time to run from dogs!
And here's
where you lose.
You stink at
run from dogs!
[video game]
These dogs are fed.
Your sack is filled two times!
You did it!
Slap it out.
Cunningham whiffed the slap?
He never whiffs a slap!
Hitting on my sister.
Ignoring a monster.
And now this?
What the juice is up with him?
Hm? You...
Hm.
Tell me what you did to
my friend or I'm going
to take you for a walk
down the back of my pants!
I hate you!
Yah!
Howard! You freed me!
What are you doing
in the Nomicon?
I'm in the NinjaNomicon?
So, my old enemy,
we finally meet.
Hm.
Pretty roomy for a book.
Hey. If you're in here.
Who's out there?
I call him Nomi-Randy,
and he's bad news.
Man, I am so glad
that wasn't you who
hit on my sister.
I did not wanna
have that talk.
- [screaming]
- [growling]
- You have to fix this.
- I know.
So, how are you
going to fix this?
I don't know. Nomicon
won't tell me what to do.
It just keeps
saying... that.
- [gasps]
- Yeah, I don't
get that at all.
I know. Why do you
think I wonk up so much?
I've been trying
not to fall.
Why do you think
I went Full-Nomicon?
Wait a minute...
That was too much Nomicon!
But Nomi-Randy
is no Nomicon.
I need to go Half-Nomicon!
Boom! Bam! Boom! Balance!
This is what you
guys do in here?
Cunningham,
what are you doing?
Getting my balance back!
I'll be here!
I did it. I'm out.
I'm... in Howard's body?
[gasps] Man, these
things really are dainty.
How'm I supposed to stop
my Nomi-self with these?
You're not.
Hey... me. Hand over my... self.
No honkin' way. I like it here.
We'll see how much you
like it when I do this!
[grunts]
[farts] I was
supposed to kick you.
Balance is a little off.
Working with a whole new
center of gravity here.
[laughs] Oof!
Yeah, Cunningham!
I mean, Weinerman.
Cunning... man? Weinerham?
Whatever. Just get him!
[screaming]
I barely even know Andy!
Randy! He named Randy!
[laughing]
Ooh! Down goes Nomi-Randy.
Feel like givin' up yet?
I'm Randy Cunningham.
I never give up.
I'm Randy Cunningham.
Oh boy.
- [grunts]
- [Nomi-Randy laughs]
[screams]
Must find a way out
of Howard and into me.
That is a weird
thing to say. Yah!
Oh, great. I'm gonna
feel that tomorrow.
Ha!
You know at first
I wasn't sold on the scarf,
but that thing looks
so Bruce right now.
Gotta get Nomi-Me out
of me, me out of Howard,
Howard into Howard,
and me into me, but how?
Nomicon Bag-alanche Throw!
Don't make me say
things like that!
[both screaming]
[both groaning]
- Cunningham?
- Howard?
- You're back!
- Yeah, I'm back. You back?
- I'm back! We're both back!
- [whooping]
[both] Yeah!
I hate to kill
the moment, but...
Theresa Fowler. I'm on it.
[grunts]
Why is there so much
garbage back here?
Please, Teezie-Feezie!
You can't do this!
We're total biffers!
- Smoke bomb!
- Oh Ninja, you got
to waste this chick!
- [growls]
- And I will...
with my Ninja Bouquet.
Theresa, these are, um...
so, there's this guy,
Randy Cunningham,
I think that's his name,
and he... and there was...
and he's sorry. Here!
Randy?
Randy... [sighs]
I guess Sandy isn't
such a bad guy after all.
It's Randy. Randy!
I just met the guy.
I know it's Randy.
Am I wrong about this?
Sheesh. Smoke bomb.
[grunts]
Some days it hardly
seems worth it.
Howard, being
inside of you...
Don't say that.
Never say that again.
...really taught me something.
Being the perfect ninja means
listening to the Nomicon.
But it also means
listening to me.
So, you're going
half-Nomicon, half-Cunningham.
What would you call that?
Nomi-Ham? Cunning-Con?
Let's just call it a swirl.
Ooh! Like Barely-Chunk!
[both] Barely-Chunk!
[sighs]
[up-tempo music]
Chirp.
[McFist] Ohh, that hurt.