Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja (2012–2015): Season 1, Episode 26 - Shoob Tube - full transcript
- ¶ Go, Ninja! ¶
- [Randy] I was chosen
to protect my school
from the forces of evil.
I am the Ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham!
¶ Smoke bomb! ¶
And here you can see
happy McFist employees
manufacturing
some of your favorite
human fuels like McMeat Stache.
- The moustache-flavored
"meat snack."
- [students] Ooooh!
Amazing! It tastes
exactly like moustache.
You don't know what
moustache tastes like.
Really? Have you kissed
my nana on the mouth?
Because I have.
- [groans]
- Ever stare up at the stars
and wonder where
sand comes from?
- Find out at our next stop.
- Ooh! I'm a huge
sand collector.
Well, not huge sand.
That'd just be rocks.
[all groan]
Ugh! I'm in my
archenemy's lair.
It's my chance to stop
his next evil scheme
before it even starts.
- And I'm stuck
on this stupid tour.
- I'm enjoying this stupid tour.
We're about to find out
how sand is made.
Face it. For once,
there is no scheme.
This is my favorite scheme ever!
[groans] Hannibal,
I've worked day and night
and broken every
law of physics
to build you
a Time MacChine.
You gonna tell me
what you need it for?
I am going back in time
to buy every box of my favorite
discontinued breakfast cereal.
Oh, heavens.
I hated "Oh Heavens."
I'm talking "Atomic
Cavity Sugar Blasters."
[announcer]
Atomic Cavity Sugar Blasters.
They're nuke-licious!
You think they'll
be around forever,
then the next day, gone.
[sighs] It really
makes you think.
This is a single use
Time McChine.
Are you sure you don't
wanna use it for something,
I don't know,
destroy-the-Ninja related?
Hmm. Nope.
I'm going with cereal.
- Breakfast will never
be the same.
- [beeps]
That's how sand is made?
Did you have any idea?
- None.
- [feedback whines]
[McFist] This scheme is
going to totally the game.
It's going to be
a real change gamer.
[Viceroy] I think
you mean game changer.
Game changer! I love it.
Hey, what is that,
some sort of button?
Did you hear that?
McFist has a game changer.
Do you know what that means?
He's found a way to destroy...
Found a way to change games
without getting up from
your bean bag.
Or your thing.
I need to get off this tram
and find that game changer.
I'm going with you, you know,
in case it's my thing.
Principal Slimovitz,
Randy and Howard are talking
about sneaking off the tour.
What the cheese, Doug?
[Slimovitz] Thank you, Douglas,
for bringing this
to my attention.
Now unfortunately
for Douglas,
the only thing I hate more
than tour deserters
is a tattletale.
Everyone look at Doug.
Nowhere else, just at Doug.
Don't worry about what Randy
and Howard are doing.
Look at Doug.
Doug's the one in trouble.
Only Doug.
[wailing]
Bonked my knee.
Yeah, that hurts.
- [wailing]
- Howard, shh!
- But whining makes
it feel better.
- Stop it.
Just at Doug. Nowhere else.
Everyone look at Doug.
Look at Doug.
[McFist] You know
what my favorite
flavor was, Viceroy?
Blue.
There you go, sir.
I was able to scare
up just enough heart
to get in to send you
there and back.
Let's do this.
Outstanding!
Mr. McFist,
there's a sorcerer
on the phone for you.
Isn't that always the way?
Every time you're about
to cop a squat
on the old time machine
an evil sorcerer calls?
[groans]
Hey, sorry about that.
Hope I didn't keep you waiting.
You did!
Usually people kind of
let that one go.
We made a deal, McFist.
My freedom in exchange
for the super power
of your choosing.
I love that deal.
[Sorcerer]
But you continue to fail me!
Perhaps it is time
to find another worthy
of my reward.
Whoa, whoa! Let's not say
things we can't take back.
I've got a plan.
Yep, yes, indeed.
This one's a real beaut.
- I'm gonna get you out of
that hole today. Guaranteed.
- Guaranteed?
This is your last
chance, McFist.
You just promised
the Sorcerer you'd
get him out today.
- How are you gonna do that?
- You'll think of something.
- Now get thinking of something.
- Humph!
Viceroy's lab.
The game changer's
gotta be in here.
Man, I hope so.
Do you know how much time
I would save
if I didn't have to get up
to change my own games?
Seconds, Cunningham, seconds.
[McFist] I don't know
why I answered that.
[both grunt]
Quick. In the porta potty.
It's the same every time. "Why
haven't you destroyed the Ninja?
I've been trapped in a hole
for 800 years. Boo-hoo!"
- What are you doing?
- Trying to program
this stupid techno toilet.
Let's see.
I'll lead off with a one.
[gasps]
- [stomach rumbles]
- Better make it a two.
You're not doing that
while I'm in here.
Sorry. Can't wait.
[farts]
Oh!
False alarm.
Just a one after all.
- You're the worst
kind of friend.
- [farts]
No, it's a three.
- What's a three?
- It's one plus two.
Man, you are terrible at math.
Oh, boy!
Viceroy,
what do you think?
Don't I look groovy?
Gotta blend in.
I don't wanna blow my cover
as a time traveler.
Where'd the Time MacChine go?
Not "where?" When?
Fine. When did
the Time MacChine go?
Just now.
Didn't you see it?
[groans]
I can't believe
you just did that.
Why are you getting all weird?
It's natural.
- What happened
to Viceroy's lab?
- [both gasp]
What happened to Norrisville?
What the juice?
Cunningham,
what is this place?
Welcome to
Ye Olde Amusement Pit.
Skibow, forsooth,
skibow.
[gasps]
Howard, we're in Norrisville.
We went back in time.
You mean that porta potty
was also a time machine?
No, I think it was
only a time machine.
That explains why
it wouldn't flush.
- [loud rumbling]
- [gasps]
- [man] It's a stampede!
- [screaming]
Grab your kinfolk. Run!
Come on, now get!
Howard, you better hide.
OK, no, you're good?
You're already hiding?
Looks like I got here
just in Ninja time.
I don't know what the cheese
is going on, but it ends now.
Ninja flip!
Stank.
But that would mean...
- [cackling]
- [Randy] The Sorcerer!
Aww, I just got
that wagon respoked.
OK, all right, OK.
Yeah, no, no, no.
Looks like I'm fighting
the Sorcerer today.
That's not a big deal.
Holy cheese, I'm fighting
the Sorcerer today!
Ninja battle rap flip!
Ninja battle rap flip!
Ninja battle rap flip!
Ninja, this will
not be your day.
[screaming]
[screams]
[grunts, gasps]
- [grunting]
- My clan has chased you
across many lands.
Finally, the terror you
began begins to end now.
No, wait. Wait.
What does that mean exactly?
Fingers. Standing on
my fingers. [screaming]
You're not the Sorcerer.
No cheese, man.
I'm the Ninja.
Impossible!
There is but one Ninja,
and I am he.
Wait a minute.
Back in time, sorcerers,
bottomless pit,
crazy Nomicon jabber.
W.T. juice?
You're the first Ninja!
You dropped me.
I was going to trap
the Sorcerer in this
hole forever.
The plan you have undone
can now never be done.
You've doomed us all!
Jerk!
Doomed us all?
I think you're
exaggerating a little.
I mean, it's not like
I just wonked up
the future, right?
[grunts] Oh, boy.
[Sorcerer]
McFist has failed me
for the last time.
I must find a way out
of this miserable hole!
[chattering]
What the juice?
I'm free.
[cackling] I'm free!
[screaming]
[Randy] Come on, First Ninja.
It's not that bad.
- We'll fix this together.
- My brothers made the ultimate
sacrifice in the battle
to defeat the Sorcerer.
And in one moment, you have
wrought our destruction.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I was fighting the Sorcerer
until you kicked me.
If anyone hath wrought
anyone's destruction,
you hath wrought it. Huh?
Ninja, thank cheese
I found you. That barrel
filled with pickles.
Well, not anymore.
I'm filled with pickles.
[burps]
- Who's the fanboy?
- That's the First Ninja.
- I call him
First Ninja. Ow!
- Hey!
Stop talking!
I must visualize our dilemma
if I am
to actualize the solution.
- This guy talks
like the Nomicon.
- I know, right?
- Ninja!
- What is it,
my trusty squire Plop Plop?
[both laughing]
Why are they laughing?
Your name. Plop Plop.
It's fantastic.
- What do they call you?
- Howard.
Howard?
That's a girl's name.
- [laughing]
- [Plop Plop]
That's a girl's name.
Enough!
My trap has failed.
Plop Plop, did you retrieve
the Tengu Stone?
About the stone,
the Sorcerer got it.
- Whoa.
- [screaming]
You have failed, Ninja.
The stone is finally mine.
I will harness its power
and enslave you all.
[laughing]
- So that seems bad.
- Ohhh!
- [panting]
- OK, one, you gotta teach me
how to do that.
And two, we could fix this.
He's right.
This is what he does.
He messes things up
and then he fixes them.
- What do you do?
- I point out the fact
that he messed up
and tell him
he has to fix it.
- What?
- Stop it!
Sh! Settle. I get myself into
these little dillies a.t.t.
¶ All the time ¶
We'll just ask
the NinjaNomicon.
- What is that?
- Oh! You are in for a treat.
You're gonna
love the Nomicon.
You talk just like it.
Come, my friend,
shoob with me.
- So.
- Yeah.
The NinjaNomicon
is the combined wisdom
of every ninja ever.
It knows, like, everything.
So, Nomicool, we got
a sorcerer on the loose.
He's armed with a super
powerful secret stone.
What do you got?
Here we go.
Here we go.
"You cannot right the future
until you write the past."
- Uh-huh.
- You don't know
what that means, do you?
I do not.
[cackling]
- Oh, boy.
- [both gasp]
[Randy] Whoa!
My first name is Plop.
My last name was already Plop.
No, no, no!
The Nomicon is disappearing.
I think by wonking up the past,
we shoobed the future.
Most fun I've had
in 800 years.
[laughing] Hmm.
- [door opens]
- How can I be of service,
O Spooky One?
I need a lift.
[cackling]
[laughs]
Oh.
[screaming]
[cackling]
And the next stop
on our tour of...
Onward!
Principal Slimovitz,
some guy just destroyed
our tour guide.
Really, Doug?
Tattling on an evil wizard,
did we not just discuss this?
- [muttering]
- Work faster!
I guaranteed the Sorcerer
he'd be free today.
It's not my fault you made
a promise you can't keep.
- You can't keep.
- [intercom buzzes]
Mr. McFist, there's a
Mr. Sorcerer here to see you.
Sorcerer?
Hey, you're... Hey!
I didn't believe your
ridiculous guarantee.
But you did it,
and I'm free.
Yep, I did it.
All me.
- You did it?
- Didn't I? Didn't I, Viceroy?
Bring him to me!
- Bring who to you?
- The Ninja!
I want him to look me
in the eye
and know all is lost.
- Oh, you did it all right.
- Oooh!
[chattering]
I have lost.
I am defeated.
OK, I admit this looks bad,
but we can't give up.
- I'm down for giving up.
- Me too. Let's all give up.
- Come on, you stopped
this guy once.
- No, I didn't.
Where I come from,
you did.
Where you come from
no longer exists.
I have battled
the Sorcerer my entire life.
Now with the Tengu Stone,
he is unstoppable.
When you have given
all you have, you have
nothing left to give.
I quit.
We're Ninjas.
We never quit.
I can't believe
he just quit.
He's first Ninja.
He's a legend.
Fine, if he won't help...
Don't. I know what
you're gonna say.
You're gonna be all,
"Howard, looks like
it's up to us."
I'm not gonna say that.
- You're not?
- No.
- 'Cause you just did.
- I didn't mean to.
[screaming]
We'll need food
if we're going to start
an underground resistance.
Grab all the chicken
you can and sides.
Don't forget the sides.
He just wants
to see the Ninja.
So we'll show him the Ninja.
And action!
What the juice?
It's Ninja time. Smoke bomb.
- Perfect!
- This is never gonna work.
[cackling]
Yoo-hoo, Sorcerer.
Ninja air fist.
[whistling]
Ninja kick!
Ninja slice. Ninja slice.
Ninja slice.
So, Ninja,
you must be desperate to start
a fight you cannot win.
I don't need to win.
I was just distracting
you long enough
to snatch the stone.
Now it's gone.
- You'll never see it again.
- [whistles]
- Got the stone.
- Oh, boy.
Prepare to be destroyed.
So do you get
destroyed first?
Or me?
How we gonna do this?
Hey, Howard, buddy,
remember that time
when we accidentally
released the Tengu,
and it flew up your butt
and turned you into
a bird demon?
Oh, yeah. I never ever
wanna do that again.
You never will.
You never will
after right now.
Ninja sacred stone stab!
[screaming]
You cannot defeat me,
Ninja.
I can't, but we can.
The Tengu and the Ninja suit
are forever linked.
Ninja remote control
Tengu punch!
Four can play at this game.
Relax, Howard.
This is just you and me
- playing Grave Puncher
back home.
- [roars]
Ow! I was not ready.
Now I'm ready.
Ninja punch.
That was my guts.
He got me in my guts.
What?
"To write the future,
you must write the past."
- Are you talking to me, or...?
- Shut up, Plop Plop.
Battle rap!
- [cackling]
- [Randy screaming]
Howard.
[laughs] Oh!
Hey, First Ninja!
You're back. Yes!
Ninja never say quit.
No! [screaming]
[grunts, gasps]
Ninja!
Oh! I can't hold
this forever, guys.
Only when the stone
is made whole will
the hole be made stone.
Sweet cheese!
What the juice
are you talking about?
We've got to return
the bird demon to the stone.
- Way ahead of you, First Ninj.
- What?
- What are you doing?
- Relax. This worked last time.
Pretty sure
it's gonna work now.
[wincing]
Ow! That hurt the bottom
of my feet!
[cackling]
McFist guarantees
he's gonna get me out
- of here today.
- [squeaks]
Yeah, I don't believe
him, either. [sighs]
- [Howard panting]
- [Randy] You did good, buddy.
- You did real good.
- Seriously!
I never wanna do that again.
Promise me, Cunningham.
I can't do that.
The Sorcerer broke my spirit,
but you showed me what it
means to be a true hero.
- It was very...
- Bruce?
Bruce. I like that.
Look, I'm gonna need you
to write down everything
you know.
Believe it or not,
things don't always
go as smoothly
- as they did today.
- You got it, Ninja.
[clicking tongues]
You fought bravely today.
I will name all of my
daughters in your honor.
[snickering] Howard.
And every time I go
to the bathroom,
I will remember you,
Plop Plop.
Speaking of, let's get back
to the portal potty.
I gotta take a 21st century,
if you know what I mean.
Oh.
Ooh, there it is,
right where we left it.
- Always the last place
you look.
- [insect buzzing]
Whoa!
I'm not going in there.
- So that was...
- Yeah.
Think everything's
back to normal?
Only one way to find out.
Principal Slimovitz,
Randy's sleeping.
Really, Doug, really?
[gasps]
Now it is your turn
to write history.
So Bruce!
[theme music playing]
Chirp.
[First Ninja]
Shut up, Plop Plop.
Well...
What we got here?
[Sorcerer cackling]
- [Randy] I was chosen
to protect my school
from the forces of evil.
I am the Ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham!
¶ Smoke bomb! ¶
And here you can see
happy McFist employees
manufacturing
some of your favorite
human fuels like McMeat Stache.
- The moustache-flavored
"meat snack."
- [students] Ooooh!
Amazing! It tastes
exactly like moustache.
You don't know what
moustache tastes like.
Really? Have you kissed
my nana on the mouth?
Because I have.
- [groans]
- Ever stare up at the stars
and wonder where
sand comes from?
- Find out at our next stop.
- Ooh! I'm a huge
sand collector.
Well, not huge sand.
That'd just be rocks.
[all groan]
Ugh! I'm in my
archenemy's lair.
It's my chance to stop
his next evil scheme
before it even starts.
- And I'm stuck
on this stupid tour.
- I'm enjoying this stupid tour.
We're about to find out
how sand is made.
Face it. For once,
there is no scheme.
This is my favorite scheme ever!
[groans] Hannibal,
I've worked day and night
and broken every
law of physics
to build you
a Time MacChine.
You gonna tell me
what you need it for?
I am going back in time
to buy every box of my favorite
discontinued breakfast cereal.
Oh, heavens.
I hated "Oh Heavens."
I'm talking "Atomic
Cavity Sugar Blasters."
[announcer]
Atomic Cavity Sugar Blasters.
They're nuke-licious!
You think they'll
be around forever,
then the next day, gone.
[sighs] It really
makes you think.
This is a single use
Time McChine.
Are you sure you don't
wanna use it for something,
I don't know,
destroy-the-Ninja related?
Hmm. Nope.
I'm going with cereal.
- Breakfast will never
be the same.
- [beeps]
That's how sand is made?
Did you have any idea?
- None.
- [feedback whines]
[McFist] This scheme is
going to totally the game.
It's going to be
a real change gamer.
[Viceroy] I think
you mean game changer.
Game changer! I love it.
Hey, what is that,
some sort of button?
Did you hear that?
McFist has a game changer.
Do you know what that means?
He's found a way to destroy...
Found a way to change games
without getting up from
your bean bag.
Or your thing.
I need to get off this tram
and find that game changer.
I'm going with you, you know,
in case it's my thing.
Principal Slimovitz,
Randy and Howard are talking
about sneaking off the tour.
What the cheese, Doug?
[Slimovitz] Thank you, Douglas,
for bringing this
to my attention.
Now unfortunately
for Douglas,
the only thing I hate more
than tour deserters
is a tattletale.
Everyone look at Doug.
Nowhere else, just at Doug.
Don't worry about what Randy
and Howard are doing.
Look at Doug.
Doug's the one in trouble.
Only Doug.
[wailing]
Bonked my knee.
Yeah, that hurts.
- [wailing]
- Howard, shh!
- But whining makes
it feel better.
- Stop it.
Just at Doug. Nowhere else.
Everyone look at Doug.
Look at Doug.
[McFist] You know
what my favorite
flavor was, Viceroy?
Blue.
There you go, sir.
I was able to scare
up just enough heart
to get in to send you
there and back.
Let's do this.
Outstanding!
Mr. McFist,
there's a sorcerer
on the phone for you.
Isn't that always the way?
Every time you're about
to cop a squat
on the old time machine
an evil sorcerer calls?
[groans]
Hey, sorry about that.
Hope I didn't keep you waiting.
You did!
Usually people kind of
let that one go.
We made a deal, McFist.
My freedom in exchange
for the super power
of your choosing.
I love that deal.
[Sorcerer]
But you continue to fail me!
Perhaps it is time
to find another worthy
of my reward.
Whoa, whoa! Let's not say
things we can't take back.
I've got a plan.
Yep, yes, indeed.
This one's a real beaut.
- I'm gonna get you out of
that hole today. Guaranteed.
- Guaranteed?
This is your last
chance, McFist.
You just promised
the Sorcerer you'd
get him out today.
- How are you gonna do that?
- You'll think of something.
- Now get thinking of something.
- Humph!
Viceroy's lab.
The game changer's
gotta be in here.
Man, I hope so.
Do you know how much time
I would save
if I didn't have to get up
to change my own games?
Seconds, Cunningham, seconds.
[McFist] I don't know
why I answered that.
[both grunt]
Quick. In the porta potty.
It's the same every time. "Why
haven't you destroyed the Ninja?
I've been trapped in a hole
for 800 years. Boo-hoo!"
- What are you doing?
- Trying to program
this stupid techno toilet.
Let's see.
I'll lead off with a one.
[gasps]
- [stomach rumbles]
- Better make it a two.
You're not doing that
while I'm in here.
Sorry. Can't wait.
[farts]
Oh!
False alarm.
Just a one after all.
- You're the worst
kind of friend.
- [farts]
No, it's a three.
- What's a three?
- It's one plus two.
Man, you are terrible at math.
Oh, boy!
Viceroy,
what do you think?
Don't I look groovy?
Gotta blend in.
I don't wanna blow my cover
as a time traveler.
Where'd the Time MacChine go?
Not "where?" When?
Fine. When did
the Time MacChine go?
Just now.
Didn't you see it?
[groans]
I can't believe
you just did that.
Why are you getting all weird?
It's natural.
- What happened
to Viceroy's lab?
- [both gasp]
What happened to Norrisville?
What the juice?
Cunningham,
what is this place?
Welcome to
Ye Olde Amusement Pit.
Skibow, forsooth,
skibow.
[gasps]
Howard, we're in Norrisville.
We went back in time.
You mean that porta potty
was also a time machine?
No, I think it was
only a time machine.
That explains why
it wouldn't flush.
- [loud rumbling]
- [gasps]
- [man] It's a stampede!
- [screaming]
Grab your kinfolk. Run!
Come on, now get!
Howard, you better hide.
OK, no, you're good?
You're already hiding?
Looks like I got here
just in Ninja time.
I don't know what the cheese
is going on, but it ends now.
Ninja flip!
Stank.
But that would mean...
- [cackling]
- [Randy] The Sorcerer!
Aww, I just got
that wagon respoked.
OK, all right, OK.
Yeah, no, no, no.
Looks like I'm fighting
the Sorcerer today.
That's not a big deal.
Holy cheese, I'm fighting
the Sorcerer today!
Ninja battle rap flip!
Ninja battle rap flip!
Ninja battle rap flip!
Ninja, this will
not be your day.
[screaming]
[screams]
[grunts, gasps]
- [grunting]
- My clan has chased you
across many lands.
Finally, the terror you
began begins to end now.
No, wait. Wait.
What does that mean exactly?
Fingers. Standing on
my fingers. [screaming]
You're not the Sorcerer.
No cheese, man.
I'm the Ninja.
Impossible!
There is but one Ninja,
and I am he.
Wait a minute.
Back in time, sorcerers,
bottomless pit,
crazy Nomicon jabber.
W.T. juice?
You're the first Ninja!
You dropped me.
I was going to trap
the Sorcerer in this
hole forever.
The plan you have undone
can now never be done.
You've doomed us all!
Jerk!
Doomed us all?
I think you're
exaggerating a little.
I mean, it's not like
I just wonked up
the future, right?
[grunts] Oh, boy.
[Sorcerer]
McFist has failed me
for the last time.
I must find a way out
of this miserable hole!
[chattering]
What the juice?
I'm free.
[cackling] I'm free!
[screaming]
[Randy] Come on, First Ninja.
It's not that bad.
- We'll fix this together.
- My brothers made the ultimate
sacrifice in the battle
to defeat the Sorcerer.
And in one moment, you have
wrought our destruction.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I was fighting the Sorcerer
until you kicked me.
If anyone hath wrought
anyone's destruction,
you hath wrought it. Huh?
Ninja, thank cheese
I found you. That barrel
filled with pickles.
Well, not anymore.
I'm filled with pickles.
[burps]
- Who's the fanboy?
- That's the First Ninja.
- I call him
First Ninja. Ow!
- Hey!
Stop talking!
I must visualize our dilemma
if I am
to actualize the solution.
- This guy talks
like the Nomicon.
- I know, right?
- Ninja!
- What is it,
my trusty squire Plop Plop?
[both laughing]
Why are they laughing?
Your name. Plop Plop.
It's fantastic.
- What do they call you?
- Howard.
Howard?
That's a girl's name.
- [laughing]
- [Plop Plop]
That's a girl's name.
Enough!
My trap has failed.
Plop Plop, did you retrieve
the Tengu Stone?
About the stone,
the Sorcerer got it.
- Whoa.
- [screaming]
You have failed, Ninja.
The stone is finally mine.
I will harness its power
and enslave you all.
[laughing]
- So that seems bad.
- Ohhh!
- [panting]
- OK, one, you gotta teach me
how to do that.
And two, we could fix this.
He's right.
This is what he does.
He messes things up
and then he fixes them.
- What do you do?
- I point out the fact
that he messed up
and tell him
he has to fix it.
- What?
- Stop it!
Sh! Settle. I get myself into
these little dillies a.t.t.
¶ All the time ¶
We'll just ask
the NinjaNomicon.
- What is that?
- Oh! You are in for a treat.
You're gonna
love the Nomicon.
You talk just like it.
Come, my friend,
shoob with me.
- So.
- Yeah.
The NinjaNomicon
is the combined wisdom
of every ninja ever.
It knows, like, everything.
So, Nomicool, we got
a sorcerer on the loose.
He's armed with a super
powerful secret stone.
What do you got?
Here we go.
Here we go.
"You cannot right the future
until you write the past."
- Uh-huh.
- You don't know
what that means, do you?
I do not.
[cackling]
- Oh, boy.
- [both gasp]
[Randy] Whoa!
My first name is Plop.
My last name was already Plop.
No, no, no!
The Nomicon is disappearing.
I think by wonking up the past,
we shoobed the future.
Most fun I've had
in 800 years.
[laughing] Hmm.
- [door opens]
- How can I be of service,
O Spooky One?
I need a lift.
[cackling]
[laughs]
Oh.
[screaming]
[cackling]
And the next stop
on our tour of...
Onward!
Principal Slimovitz,
some guy just destroyed
our tour guide.
Really, Doug?
Tattling on an evil wizard,
did we not just discuss this?
- [muttering]
- Work faster!
I guaranteed the Sorcerer
he'd be free today.
It's not my fault you made
a promise you can't keep.
- You can't keep.
- [intercom buzzes]
Mr. McFist, there's a
Mr. Sorcerer here to see you.
Sorcerer?
Hey, you're... Hey!
I didn't believe your
ridiculous guarantee.
But you did it,
and I'm free.
Yep, I did it.
All me.
- You did it?
- Didn't I? Didn't I, Viceroy?
Bring him to me!
- Bring who to you?
- The Ninja!
I want him to look me
in the eye
and know all is lost.
- Oh, you did it all right.
- Oooh!
[chattering]
I have lost.
I am defeated.
OK, I admit this looks bad,
but we can't give up.
- I'm down for giving up.
- Me too. Let's all give up.
- Come on, you stopped
this guy once.
- No, I didn't.
Where I come from,
you did.
Where you come from
no longer exists.
I have battled
the Sorcerer my entire life.
Now with the Tengu Stone,
he is unstoppable.
When you have given
all you have, you have
nothing left to give.
I quit.
We're Ninjas.
We never quit.
I can't believe
he just quit.
He's first Ninja.
He's a legend.
Fine, if he won't help...
Don't. I know what
you're gonna say.
You're gonna be all,
"Howard, looks like
it's up to us."
I'm not gonna say that.
- You're not?
- No.
- 'Cause you just did.
- I didn't mean to.
[screaming]
We'll need food
if we're going to start
an underground resistance.
Grab all the chicken
you can and sides.
Don't forget the sides.
He just wants
to see the Ninja.
So we'll show him the Ninja.
And action!
What the juice?
It's Ninja time. Smoke bomb.
- Perfect!
- This is never gonna work.
[cackling]
Yoo-hoo, Sorcerer.
Ninja air fist.
[whistling]
Ninja kick!
Ninja slice. Ninja slice.
Ninja slice.
So, Ninja,
you must be desperate to start
a fight you cannot win.
I don't need to win.
I was just distracting
you long enough
to snatch the stone.
Now it's gone.
- You'll never see it again.
- [whistles]
- Got the stone.
- Oh, boy.
Prepare to be destroyed.
So do you get
destroyed first?
Or me?
How we gonna do this?
Hey, Howard, buddy,
remember that time
when we accidentally
released the Tengu,
and it flew up your butt
and turned you into
a bird demon?
Oh, yeah. I never ever
wanna do that again.
You never will.
You never will
after right now.
Ninja sacred stone stab!
[screaming]
You cannot defeat me,
Ninja.
I can't, but we can.
The Tengu and the Ninja suit
are forever linked.
Ninja remote control
Tengu punch!
Four can play at this game.
Relax, Howard.
This is just you and me
- playing Grave Puncher
back home.
- [roars]
Ow! I was not ready.
Now I'm ready.
Ninja punch.
That was my guts.
He got me in my guts.
What?
"To write the future,
you must write the past."
- Are you talking to me, or...?
- Shut up, Plop Plop.
Battle rap!
- [cackling]
- [Randy screaming]
Howard.
[laughs] Oh!
Hey, First Ninja!
You're back. Yes!
Ninja never say quit.
No! [screaming]
[grunts, gasps]
Ninja!
Oh! I can't hold
this forever, guys.
Only when the stone
is made whole will
the hole be made stone.
Sweet cheese!
What the juice
are you talking about?
We've got to return
the bird demon to the stone.
- Way ahead of you, First Ninj.
- What?
- What are you doing?
- Relax. This worked last time.
Pretty sure
it's gonna work now.
[wincing]
Ow! That hurt the bottom
of my feet!
[cackling]
McFist guarantees
he's gonna get me out
- of here today.
- [squeaks]
Yeah, I don't believe
him, either. [sighs]
- [Howard panting]
- [Randy] You did good, buddy.
- You did real good.
- Seriously!
I never wanna do that again.
Promise me, Cunningham.
I can't do that.
The Sorcerer broke my spirit,
but you showed me what it
means to be a true hero.
- It was very...
- Bruce?
Bruce. I like that.
Look, I'm gonna need you
to write down everything
you know.
Believe it or not,
things don't always
go as smoothly
- as they did today.
- You got it, Ninja.
[clicking tongues]
You fought bravely today.
I will name all of my
daughters in your honor.
[snickering] Howard.
And every time I go
to the bathroom,
I will remember you,
Plop Plop.
Speaking of, let's get back
to the portal potty.
I gotta take a 21st century,
if you know what I mean.
Oh.
Ooh, there it is,
right where we left it.
- Always the last place
you look.
- [insect buzzing]
Whoa!
I'm not going in there.
- So that was...
- Yeah.
Think everything's
back to normal?
Only one way to find out.
Principal Slimovitz,
Randy's sleeping.
Really, Doug, really?
[gasps]
Now it is your turn
to write history.
So Bruce!
[theme music playing]
Chirp.
[First Ninja]
Shut up, Plop Plop.
Well...
What we got here?
[Sorcerer cackling]