Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja (2012–2015): Season 1, Episode 2 - So U Think U Can Stank - full transcript
Ninja must save his classmates.
¶ Go, ninja! ¶
[Randy] I was chosen
to protect my school
from the forces of evil.
I am the ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
¶ Smoke bomb ¶
[all chattering indistinctly]
[boy] This is going
to be awesome!
Ah, the annual Freshman
field trip to Mount Chuck.
[mimicking a man's voice] The
world's only man-made volcano.
Glory awaits, Howard.
- [chattering indistinctly]
- When we spit in that volcano,
we'll be joining Norrisville
High's all-time greats.
Of course we won't actually
be going up the volcano,
that's for hooligans,
daredevils and tomfoolers.
Nope, we're headed to the
informative and school board
approved museum of silt.
- [all groan]
- Silt, silt, silt!
Now, before we go in,
I want to say one thing.
[laughs] Oh, Jerry.
Every year, some
numbskull tries to
sneak up the volcano
to spit in it.
That's us, Howard.
We are that numbskull.
Which is why we're using
the buddy system.
If you stray more than
five feet from your buddy,
you both get
a month's detention.
- [all grumbling]
- For added security,
I'm pairing a
responsible student
with a numbskull.
- Bucky, you're with Randy.
- [moans]
- Flute girl,
you're with Howard.
- Ooh!
- Julian, you're with Stevens.
- [plays sad tone]
[growls] Oh, great.
What do we do now, huh?
I mean, I was all excited
to sneak off and luge
into that volcano.
And scarf down some
victory nachos.
If it was easy,
it wouldn't be awesome.
We just have to find a way
to get up there.
Rendezvous at
Checkpoint Bravo...
No funny business, you two.
I got my sockets on you.
Viceroy, when I told you
to design an evil, new creation
to catch the ninja, did
I say anything about it being
a disgusting, useless blob?
Hmm, let me
check my notes.
I don't care if it's
disgusting or useless,
I just want a blob!
Get rid of them!
All of them!
- [groans]
- [beeping]
Gene Levine,
the disposal machine,
for when it absolutely,
positutely gotsta be
disappeared.
Gene-o, Viceroy.
I need something disappeared.
- Positutely?
- Positutely.
[male narrator] Mount Chuck,
Norrisville's most
recognizable landmark.
Our city fathers designed her
as a tourist mecca...
- [grumbling]
- ...the Krakatoa of the west.
However, after a spirited
inaugural eruption,
they decided to cap the lava.
Picture it, Bucky.
Oceans of virgin silt, just
waiting to be discovered.
I'm not breaking
the rules, Randy.
But there's silt up there
Mrs. Driscoll
has never seen before!
And circumferences
she couldn't imagine.
- [moans]
- [vibrates]
Would you excuse me, Bucky?
I gotta, you know...
something.
[gasps]
[screams]
"A ninja must never
endanger the innocent,
but he must always
defend the defenseless."
I don't have time for
first day ninja stuff,
I'm trying to sweet talk
Bucky up a volcano here!
[camera whirring]
What do you say, partner?
You volca-know
you wanna come with me.
You do make a
convincing zing.
[gasps] My snacks!
Looks like Gene
positutely missed one.
- [squeaking]
- [chuckles] Aw...
You are kind of cute.
- [chuckling]
- Stop it, Howard.
- I mean it!
- [chuckling]
This isn't funny!
- I'm telling Mrs. Driscoll!
- Five foot rule, huh?
Yeah. She's gotta go
wherever I go.
That is not funny.
[squeaking]
Viceroy, I disappeared
all them amoebas and such.
We gonna go cash or charge
on this one here?
Whoa! How'd I miss you,
little fella?
[frightened squeaks]
Nicholas? Nicholas!
- [squeaking]
- [horn honking]
Nicholas, I'm coming,
sweet thing!
Hey, this is the same
as the silt at the bottom!
Our most finest hour
is upon us.
This is your
greatest idea ever.
You guys are idiots.
Ready... set... hork!
- Epic.
- Hey, where are the
victory nachos?
All right there, little guy.
Let's get you good
and disappeared, huh?
- [growls] Give it back.
- Hey, what gives?
You are not disappearing
my Nicholas.
I got a signed contract here
for the removal of all
slimy things.
I don't care
about your contract.
That was a legally binding
document, there, Viceroy.
[screams] Nicholas!
Don't panic. Daddy's
coming for you, baby.
- Help me find a way down there.
- Oh, no.
Then all them other amoebas
I disappeared is alive
and gooey down there.
They're probably
plotting revenge on
Gene Levine right now.
They're completely
harmless.
It would take a very
specific blend of
rare, toxic chemicals
to destabilize them.
Why, you'd need
notodextrium...
Sodium phosphate,
and xanthan gum?
You tell me, how am I
supposed to resist that?
Those 'chos
were for both of us.
I carried them
all the way up here,
- you should share with me.
- But you ate all of them!
[both straining]
...take my nacho!
Ooh! Oh, way to go,
Cunningham.
[growling]
You betrayed me
with wordplay, Randy.
Come on, Bucky,
let's go.
Bucky, I'm sorry.
Where do you think
you're going?
I'm sorry, Cunningham,
five foot rule.
[sighs] Huh?
- What?
- [growling]
That's probably bad.
[screams]
[screams]
The volcano
is erupting!
[wailing]
What happened to Bucky?
What was that?
All great questions.
Why don't we discuss it,
oh, I don't know...
- ...back at the bus!
- [screams]
Hurry it up there, Viceroy.
Just lower me down,
I can see him.
- [shouts]
- Whoops and such.
- [engine revving]
- I'm out of here.
Uh-oh.
Ooh.
Don't you worry,
Daddy's here.
Bad amoeba, bad!
[squeals]
Come here, baby, you're OK.
Naughty, Nicholas,
that was Daddy's flamethrower.
[screaming] Stop, stop!
[Howard] It put its
tentacle in my mouth!
- Howard?
- [growling]
Yah!
Time to un-endanger
the innocent.
Ninja slice!
Totally worked.
- [growling]
- Ninja, it's not working!
Yeah, thanks, I caught that.
[shouting]
Ah-ha, not even close!
[squeals]
[growls]
- [moans]
- [squealing]
[laughing]
Fire. [chuckles]
That's it! It's like they say,
sometimes you've got to fight
ectoplasm with lava.
[Bucky] No one's ever said that!
[grunting]
Come on!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
- Boom, lava!
- Um, that's your plan?
Douse us with
molten hot lava?
Got to admit, Ninja,
not one of your best.
- That was just phase one.
- Then what's phase two?
[laugh] That.
- [shouts indistinctly]
- [screaming]
- [Bucky] Oh, boy!
- [moaning]
Hey, you're safe.
- Hurray!
- Thanks, Ninja.
Catch you on the flip-flop.
Who would hide an amoeba monster
in a man-made volcano?
- [yelps]
- Viceroy, I should've known.
Ninja, please,
you have to save Nicholas.
- He's defenseless!
- Nicholas? What's a Nicholas?
Oh, Nicholas!
Meet me at the top.
- OK.
- [squeaks]
Ninja amoeba snatch!
- [rumbling]
- [grunting]
You're all kinds of shasty.
My Nicholas! Oh, Ninja,
how can I ever thank you?
Uh, you could take a vacation
from helping my arch-enemy
plot to kill me!
I do have a time share
in Provence. Done!
- Uh... Yeah!
- Come on, come on, come on.
[screams]
- Whoa.
- [growling]
Ninja, I'm getting out of here!
[screaming]
- [Bucky] Ninja!
- Ninja, did you plan that?
Uh, yes.
I mean, yes!
I seriously
appreciate this, Ninja.
Yeah! We were pretty
shoobed for a minute there.
Wait, Randy's missing.
Oh, this is awful!
Aw, that means so much to...
...that boy I've never heard of.
Don't you worry, I'll bring
your friend back safe and sound.
Good. 'Cause I'll get
a month's detention
if I show up without him.
I can't handle
that kind of time.
[groans]
Get them to the bus.
OK, let's see
who earned themselves
a nice, fat detention.
Stevens, check.
Julian, check.
Weinerman, check.
Flute girl, check.
- Hensletter, check.
- [shivering]
- Cunningham.
- Bucky and I are both here,
Mrs. Driscoll.
We are? We are!
Everyone's here!
No detentions.
[mimicking male voice]
Ice cream for everyone!
You always did have
a sweet tooth.
[gasps]
[Randy]
Mission accomplished, buddy.
And we got the
picture to prove it.
Epic.
Mmm, Provence.
Ew... You're cute,
but you don't taste so good.
Come on, move it!
Howard, I have this
nagging suspicion
we may still be
faceless Freshmen
- here at Norrisville High.
- Watch out, kid.
What are you talking about?
They love me at this school.
Hence my awesome nickname,
- the Watch Out Kid. [grunts]
- Watch out, kid.
You're not the
Watch Out Kid.
They're saying,
"Watch out, kid!"
Oh! Then, yeah,
we're 100 percent faceless.
We need to do something
that separates us
from the rest of these clowns.
And baton twirlers.
And accordion players...
Did we miss an e-blast
or something?
Hey, peeps,
it's your best BFF, Heidi.
Status update!
Due to the fact that
my judges have decided to
try out for the talent show
instead of judging it,
like they promised...
Yes! We broke a promise! Yes!
...auditions are
postponed indefinitely.
- [all groan]
- [sad note plays]
That's it! Howard,
we're going to judge
the talent show.
Judging's stupid. I give
that idea a one out of ten.
Come on!
Everyone knows
the judges
are the real stars.
If we get our judge on proper,
everybody will know our names!
- Watch out, kid!
- [groans] I'm in!
'Sup! It's your girl, Heidi.
Me-casting live, from
the auditorium where my
super sweet little brother
and his best friend, Andy...
Randy. Name's Randy.
Known you my whole life.
...have agreed to judge
the talent show auditions.
Yey! Wonk this up, and I will
webcast that video of you two
- taking a bath together.
- We were three!
- Not. That. Video.
- Ooh...
Ah, yes! Judges!
This is so Bruce!
I'm thinking we run
the old nice judge,
mean judge.
- I'm listening.
- No, no, no, that's it.
I'm the nice judge,
you're the mean judge.
Why can't I be
the nice judge?
Oh, I thought you
were serious for a second.
I am such a jerk.
[sniffs] Mmm, there's
a delicious desperation
in the air today.
This could only mean one thing.
- Talent show auditions.
- [squeals]
Nothing dances on the tongue
quite like the dashed dreams
of the delusional.
[cackling]
[squeaking]
- Please stop doing that.
- [squeaks forlornly]
[groans]
- ¶ Who my bro's, yo?! ¶
- ¶ We're your bro's, yo! ¶
- ¶ Who my bro's, yo?! ¶
- ¶ We're your bro's, yo! ¶
- ¶ Who my bro's, yo?! ¶
- ¶ We're your bro's, yo! ¶
¶ We're your bro's, yo!
We're your bro's, yo! ¶¶
- [feedback rings]
- [all groaning]
Babbling, incoherent...
I loved it!
What did you think, Howard?
Loved it. Yo, bro's,
you're in the talent show!
Uh, Howard,
a word?
What are you doing?
I'm the nice judge,
you're the mean judge.
I was just being honest,
I liked them.
If people are going
to remember us,
we have to stick
to our characters.
I pretend to like them,
no matter what, and...?
- I mean it up?
- Way up.
You got it, jerkface.
Hey, I'm Juggo,
the juggling clown.
Thought I'd do some juggling,
and maybe some clowning.
Oh, fantastic, Juggo.
Let's see what you got.
- [whispering] Remember... mean.
- [grunts]
- [up-tempo music plays]
- Stop! Stop!
- [moans]
- You call that juggling?
All you did was throw
a bunch of junk in the air
and then catch it.
But that's... juggling!
And I can't get
enough of it!
What's with his bike?
One wheel?
[scoffs] Come back
when you got two wheels!
- And regular guy shoes.
- [laughter]
Hmm?
Oh, and I almost forgot.
[blows raspberry]
Off my stage.
[laughter]
- Well done, mean judge.
- And to you, nice judge.
- Who's next?!
- Auditions are heating up.
Who's got the juice
to make it in Norrisville?
- [sobbing]
- Not that guy.
- [sobbing continues]
- Mmm... Mmmm...
Bingo. [cackling]
[growling]
OK! Up next looks like
we have Theresa Fowler,
and her amazing,
twirling sticks.
I'm gonna
end this chick.
And I'm gonna boost
her spirits with a
totally fake compliment.
- Nice judge!
- Mean judge!
[screaming]
Juggo? Howard, you're gonna
have to fly solo on this one.
- It's...
- Yeah, yeah, ninja o'clock.
No worries,
I got this.
- Insult blaster
is locked and loaded.
- [gun cocking, firing]
- [gulping]
- [panting]
- Yah!
- [screeching]
Let's see you juggle
my ninja rings!
Ugh, now you're just
showing off, Juggo.
[laughs] Twirling sticks?
More like hurling sticks.
I almost blew chunks
watching that.
- [laughter]
- Off my stage!
Ninja knife-sicles!
[grunting]
- [squealing]
- What the juice?
I trashed your pins. [grunts]
Where's the destankage?
Unicycle, natch.
Ninja run, ninja slide,
ninja snap!
- You OK, Juggo?
- Actually, Ninja,
my day's been
kind of up and down.
- [screeching]
- I should probably, you know...
...fight that.
Judging by your
amazing twirling sticks,
I take it you're Theresa...
Not cool, Fowler.
Really?
An accordion, Dave.
An accordion.
What should I do, guys?
- [all] Off my stage!
- Off... my... stage!
[all laugh, chanting]
Off my stage!
- Off my stage!
- Mean judge!
- Off my stage! Off my stage!
- Another reject?
What is up with those judges?
I never should've trusted
Howard and Sandy.
Oh, stank breath.
- [moaning]
- Theresa, you're going to be...
- [growling]
- This is getting ridiculous.
Oh, that'll work.
Ninja baton flip kick!
What is with all the stank?!
Yah! Ha! Ha!
Where do you think you're going?
Ooh, a vent.
I wasn't expecting that.
I could do this all day.
- [cackling]
- [squeaking]
Come on, Nomicon,
help a ninja out.
I can't stop the stank if I
don't know where it comes from.
Oh, I just got the shivs.
Centuries ago
a great war was waged
between good and evil,
between ninja and sorcerer.
Too powerful to destroy,
the dark one was locked
deep underground,
his prison sealed
with a sacred stone.
In the darkness he waits,
wreaking havoc.
Possessing the vulnerable,
using that which
they hold most dear,
amassing power from chaos.
Once he gains enough power
he will escape,
and darkness will reign.
Preventing this is the
sacred duty of the ninja.
The sorcerer is stanking
vulnerable students.
Students who have been
crushed by the mean judge.
- [all] Off my stage!
- I have to stop Howard.
I got my eyes all ready
to see dancing fish,
and then you guys come out.
You're not fish,
you're not even dancing.
- Uh, we haven't started yet.
- [audience] Ooh!
I like you, you're feisty.
You know what else
you are?
[audience] Off my stage!
- [cheering]
- [humming up-tempo tune]
- [sobbing]
- Get it together, ladies.
There's no crying
in dance.
Howard, you have to stop.
Every time you reject somebody
they get stank from...
- Forget it, Cunningham. Listen.
- Howard! Howard! Howard!
The plan worked! We're not
faceless Freshman anymore.
Well, I'm not.
You've got some
catching up to do.
- I've created a monster...
- [chuckling]
- [laughing]
- ...who creates monsters!
[chittering]
Whoa. That's not
part of the routine.
- [screeching]
- Ugh...
Cunningham, I'm not
saying you were right,
- but help!
- [screeching]
[cackling]
- [all screaming]
- [all shouting indistinctly]
It's getting a little heavy
on the chaos in this piece.
What are you doing?
Everybody loves mean judge.
Smoke bomb!
[grunts]
Ninja, you got served...
in the face!
Dance fight!
[techno music plays]
Dance fight!
Sweet ninja,
it's a krump attack!
Morgan, can you give us
the deets on the sitch?
- What does that mean?
- Tell us what's happening.
[scoffs] Right now
the girls are setting up
for a backside dirty Filbert.
Do those words
even go together?
If you're a dancer they do.
It's the thing we hold
most dear.
[growling]
- Whoa-boy.
- [shuddering]
The thing you hold
most dear, eh?
Sorry, girls.
Looks like your winning move
just cost you the show.
Ninja tripping balls! Yah!
[screaming]
Now that's talent.
I give it a six out of ten.
- A six?
- Now it's a five,
you wanna keep going?
I'm gonna
give you a five.
- Smoke bomb!
- [moaning]
You guys better not even think
about mutating at Regionals.
All I want to do
is create a little chaos.
Bust out of this hole,
enslave the world.
[sighs] Is that so wrong?
[chittering]
What's up?! It's H-dub,
hitting you live
from the N-ville High T-show.
[Randy] Do we really
have to do this?
You booked the stage
for four hours.
Back From The Yo Bros
are the only act you let in.
- Now get out there.
- This is all your fault.
We were totally
unqualified to be judges.
- [up-tempo music starts, stops]
- [audience booing]
Hey, Howard,
off... my... stage.
- Me? What about Randy?
- You too, Randy.
[audience laughs]
Sweet!
They know both our names.
Plan worked! Ten out of ten!
[audience continues booing]
- [groans]
- Hmm, chocolate.
[rock music plays]
Chirp.
[Randy] I was chosen
to protect my school
from the forces of evil.
I am the ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
¶ Smoke bomb ¶
[all chattering indistinctly]
[boy] This is going
to be awesome!
Ah, the annual Freshman
field trip to Mount Chuck.
[mimicking a man's voice] The
world's only man-made volcano.
Glory awaits, Howard.
- [chattering indistinctly]
- When we spit in that volcano,
we'll be joining Norrisville
High's all-time greats.
Of course we won't actually
be going up the volcano,
that's for hooligans,
daredevils and tomfoolers.
Nope, we're headed to the
informative and school board
approved museum of silt.
- [all groan]
- Silt, silt, silt!
Now, before we go in,
I want to say one thing.
[laughs] Oh, Jerry.
Every year, some
numbskull tries to
sneak up the volcano
to spit in it.
That's us, Howard.
We are that numbskull.
Which is why we're using
the buddy system.
If you stray more than
five feet from your buddy,
you both get
a month's detention.
- [all grumbling]
- For added security,
I'm pairing a
responsible student
with a numbskull.
- Bucky, you're with Randy.
- [moans]
- Flute girl,
you're with Howard.
- Ooh!
- Julian, you're with Stevens.
- [plays sad tone]
[growls] Oh, great.
What do we do now, huh?
I mean, I was all excited
to sneak off and luge
into that volcano.
And scarf down some
victory nachos.
If it was easy,
it wouldn't be awesome.
We just have to find a way
to get up there.
Rendezvous at
Checkpoint Bravo...
No funny business, you two.
I got my sockets on you.
Viceroy, when I told you
to design an evil, new creation
to catch the ninja, did
I say anything about it being
a disgusting, useless blob?
Hmm, let me
check my notes.
I don't care if it's
disgusting or useless,
I just want a blob!
Get rid of them!
All of them!
- [groans]
- [beeping]
Gene Levine,
the disposal machine,
for when it absolutely,
positutely gotsta be
disappeared.
Gene-o, Viceroy.
I need something disappeared.
- Positutely?
- Positutely.
[male narrator] Mount Chuck,
Norrisville's most
recognizable landmark.
Our city fathers designed her
as a tourist mecca...
- [grumbling]
- ...the Krakatoa of the west.
However, after a spirited
inaugural eruption,
they decided to cap the lava.
Picture it, Bucky.
Oceans of virgin silt, just
waiting to be discovered.
I'm not breaking
the rules, Randy.
But there's silt up there
Mrs. Driscoll
has never seen before!
And circumferences
she couldn't imagine.
- [moans]
- [vibrates]
Would you excuse me, Bucky?
I gotta, you know...
something.
[gasps]
[screams]
"A ninja must never
endanger the innocent,
but he must always
defend the defenseless."
I don't have time for
first day ninja stuff,
I'm trying to sweet talk
Bucky up a volcano here!
[camera whirring]
What do you say, partner?
You volca-know
you wanna come with me.
You do make a
convincing zing.
[gasps] My snacks!
Looks like Gene
positutely missed one.
- [squeaking]
- [chuckles] Aw...
You are kind of cute.
- [chuckling]
- Stop it, Howard.
- I mean it!
- [chuckling]
This isn't funny!
- I'm telling Mrs. Driscoll!
- Five foot rule, huh?
Yeah. She's gotta go
wherever I go.
That is not funny.
[squeaking]
Viceroy, I disappeared
all them amoebas and such.
We gonna go cash or charge
on this one here?
Whoa! How'd I miss you,
little fella?
[frightened squeaks]
Nicholas? Nicholas!
- [squeaking]
- [horn honking]
Nicholas, I'm coming,
sweet thing!
Hey, this is the same
as the silt at the bottom!
Our most finest hour
is upon us.
This is your
greatest idea ever.
You guys are idiots.
Ready... set... hork!
- Epic.
- Hey, where are the
victory nachos?
All right there, little guy.
Let's get you good
and disappeared, huh?
- [growls] Give it back.
- Hey, what gives?
You are not disappearing
my Nicholas.
I got a signed contract here
for the removal of all
slimy things.
I don't care
about your contract.
That was a legally binding
document, there, Viceroy.
[screams] Nicholas!
Don't panic. Daddy's
coming for you, baby.
- Help me find a way down there.
- Oh, no.
Then all them other amoebas
I disappeared is alive
and gooey down there.
They're probably
plotting revenge on
Gene Levine right now.
They're completely
harmless.
It would take a very
specific blend of
rare, toxic chemicals
to destabilize them.
Why, you'd need
notodextrium...
Sodium phosphate,
and xanthan gum?
You tell me, how am I
supposed to resist that?
Those 'chos
were for both of us.
I carried them
all the way up here,
- you should share with me.
- But you ate all of them!
[both straining]
...take my nacho!
Ooh! Oh, way to go,
Cunningham.
[growling]
You betrayed me
with wordplay, Randy.
Come on, Bucky,
let's go.
Bucky, I'm sorry.
Where do you think
you're going?
I'm sorry, Cunningham,
five foot rule.
[sighs] Huh?
- What?
- [growling]
That's probably bad.
[screams]
[screams]
The volcano
is erupting!
[wailing]
What happened to Bucky?
What was that?
All great questions.
Why don't we discuss it,
oh, I don't know...
- ...back at the bus!
- [screams]
Hurry it up there, Viceroy.
Just lower me down,
I can see him.
- [shouts]
- Whoops and such.
- [engine revving]
- I'm out of here.
Uh-oh.
Ooh.
Don't you worry,
Daddy's here.
Bad amoeba, bad!
[squeals]
Come here, baby, you're OK.
Naughty, Nicholas,
that was Daddy's flamethrower.
[screaming] Stop, stop!
[Howard] It put its
tentacle in my mouth!
- Howard?
- [growling]
Yah!
Time to un-endanger
the innocent.
Ninja slice!
Totally worked.
- [growling]
- Ninja, it's not working!
Yeah, thanks, I caught that.
[shouting]
Ah-ha, not even close!
[squeals]
[growls]
- [moans]
- [squealing]
[laughing]
Fire. [chuckles]
That's it! It's like they say,
sometimes you've got to fight
ectoplasm with lava.
[Bucky] No one's ever said that!
[grunting]
Come on!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
- Boom, lava!
- Um, that's your plan?
Douse us with
molten hot lava?
Got to admit, Ninja,
not one of your best.
- That was just phase one.
- Then what's phase two?
[laugh] That.
- [shouts indistinctly]
- [screaming]
- [Bucky] Oh, boy!
- [moaning]
Hey, you're safe.
- Hurray!
- Thanks, Ninja.
Catch you on the flip-flop.
Who would hide an amoeba monster
in a man-made volcano?
- [yelps]
- Viceroy, I should've known.
Ninja, please,
you have to save Nicholas.
- He's defenseless!
- Nicholas? What's a Nicholas?
Oh, Nicholas!
Meet me at the top.
- OK.
- [squeaks]
Ninja amoeba snatch!
- [rumbling]
- [grunting]
You're all kinds of shasty.
My Nicholas! Oh, Ninja,
how can I ever thank you?
Uh, you could take a vacation
from helping my arch-enemy
plot to kill me!
I do have a time share
in Provence. Done!
- Uh... Yeah!
- Come on, come on, come on.
[screams]
- Whoa.
- [growling]
Ninja, I'm getting out of here!
[screaming]
- [Bucky] Ninja!
- Ninja, did you plan that?
Uh, yes.
I mean, yes!
I seriously
appreciate this, Ninja.
Yeah! We were pretty
shoobed for a minute there.
Wait, Randy's missing.
Oh, this is awful!
Aw, that means so much to...
...that boy I've never heard of.
Don't you worry, I'll bring
your friend back safe and sound.
Good. 'Cause I'll get
a month's detention
if I show up without him.
I can't handle
that kind of time.
[groans]
Get them to the bus.
OK, let's see
who earned themselves
a nice, fat detention.
Stevens, check.
Julian, check.
Weinerman, check.
Flute girl, check.
- Hensletter, check.
- [shivering]
- Cunningham.
- Bucky and I are both here,
Mrs. Driscoll.
We are? We are!
Everyone's here!
No detentions.
[mimicking male voice]
Ice cream for everyone!
You always did have
a sweet tooth.
[gasps]
[Randy]
Mission accomplished, buddy.
And we got the
picture to prove it.
Epic.
Mmm, Provence.
Ew... You're cute,
but you don't taste so good.
Come on, move it!
Howard, I have this
nagging suspicion
we may still be
faceless Freshmen
- here at Norrisville High.
- Watch out, kid.
What are you talking about?
They love me at this school.
Hence my awesome nickname,
- the Watch Out Kid. [grunts]
- Watch out, kid.
You're not the
Watch Out Kid.
They're saying,
"Watch out, kid!"
Oh! Then, yeah,
we're 100 percent faceless.
We need to do something
that separates us
from the rest of these clowns.
And baton twirlers.
And accordion players...
Did we miss an e-blast
or something?
Hey, peeps,
it's your best BFF, Heidi.
Status update!
Due to the fact that
my judges have decided to
try out for the talent show
instead of judging it,
like they promised...
Yes! We broke a promise! Yes!
...auditions are
postponed indefinitely.
- [all groan]
- [sad note plays]
That's it! Howard,
we're going to judge
the talent show.
Judging's stupid. I give
that idea a one out of ten.
Come on!
Everyone knows
the judges
are the real stars.
If we get our judge on proper,
everybody will know our names!
- Watch out, kid!
- [groans] I'm in!
'Sup! It's your girl, Heidi.
Me-casting live, from
the auditorium where my
super sweet little brother
and his best friend, Andy...
Randy. Name's Randy.
Known you my whole life.
...have agreed to judge
the talent show auditions.
Yey! Wonk this up, and I will
webcast that video of you two
- taking a bath together.
- We were three!
- Not. That. Video.
- Ooh...
Ah, yes! Judges!
This is so Bruce!
I'm thinking we run
the old nice judge,
mean judge.
- I'm listening.
- No, no, no, that's it.
I'm the nice judge,
you're the mean judge.
Why can't I be
the nice judge?
Oh, I thought you
were serious for a second.
I am such a jerk.
[sniffs] Mmm, there's
a delicious desperation
in the air today.
This could only mean one thing.
- Talent show auditions.
- [squeals]
Nothing dances on the tongue
quite like the dashed dreams
of the delusional.
[cackling]
[squeaking]
- Please stop doing that.
- [squeaks forlornly]
[groans]
- ¶ Who my bro's, yo?! ¶
- ¶ We're your bro's, yo! ¶
- ¶ Who my bro's, yo?! ¶
- ¶ We're your bro's, yo! ¶
- ¶ Who my bro's, yo?! ¶
- ¶ We're your bro's, yo! ¶
¶ We're your bro's, yo!
We're your bro's, yo! ¶¶
- [feedback rings]
- [all groaning]
Babbling, incoherent...
I loved it!
What did you think, Howard?
Loved it. Yo, bro's,
you're in the talent show!
Uh, Howard,
a word?
What are you doing?
I'm the nice judge,
you're the mean judge.
I was just being honest,
I liked them.
If people are going
to remember us,
we have to stick
to our characters.
I pretend to like them,
no matter what, and...?
- I mean it up?
- Way up.
You got it, jerkface.
Hey, I'm Juggo,
the juggling clown.
Thought I'd do some juggling,
and maybe some clowning.
Oh, fantastic, Juggo.
Let's see what you got.
- [whispering] Remember... mean.
- [grunts]
- [up-tempo music plays]
- Stop! Stop!
- [moans]
- You call that juggling?
All you did was throw
a bunch of junk in the air
and then catch it.
But that's... juggling!
And I can't get
enough of it!
What's with his bike?
One wheel?
[scoffs] Come back
when you got two wheels!
- And regular guy shoes.
- [laughter]
Hmm?
Oh, and I almost forgot.
[blows raspberry]
Off my stage.
[laughter]
- Well done, mean judge.
- And to you, nice judge.
- Who's next?!
- Auditions are heating up.
Who's got the juice
to make it in Norrisville?
- [sobbing]
- Not that guy.
- [sobbing continues]
- Mmm... Mmmm...
Bingo. [cackling]
[growling]
OK! Up next looks like
we have Theresa Fowler,
and her amazing,
twirling sticks.
I'm gonna
end this chick.
And I'm gonna boost
her spirits with a
totally fake compliment.
- Nice judge!
- Mean judge!
[screaming]
Juggo? Howard, you're gonna
have to fly solo on this one.
- It's...
- Yeah, yeah, ninja o'clock.
No worries,
I got this.
- Insult blaster
is locked and loaded.
- [gun cocking, firing]
- [gulping]
- [panting]
- Yah!
- [screeching]
Let's see you juggle
my ninja rings!
Ugh, now you're just
showing off, Juggo.
[laughs] Twirling sticks?
More like hurling sticks.
I almost blew chunks
watching that.
- [laughter]
- Off my stage!
Ninja knife-sicles!
[grunting]
- [squealing]
- What the juice?
I trashed your pins. [grunts]
Where's the destankage?
Unicycle, natch.
Ninja run, ninja slide,
ninja snap!
- You OK, Juggo?
- Actually, Ninja,
my day's been
kind of up and down.
- [screeching]
- I should probably, you know...
...fight that.
Judging by your
amazing twirling sticks,
I take it you're Theresa...
Not cool, Fowler.
Really?
An accordion, Dave.
An accordion.
What should I do, guys?
- [all] Off my stage!
- Off... my... stage!
[all laugh, chanting]
Off my stage!
- Off my stage!
- Mean judge!
- Off my stage! Off my stage!
- Another reject?
What is up with those judges?
I never should've trusted
Howard and Sandy.
Oh, stank breath.
- [moaning]
- Theresa, you're going to be...
- [growling]
- This is getting ridiculous.
Oh, that'll work.
Ninja baton flip kick!
What is with all the stank?!
Yah! Ha! Ha!
Where do you think you're going?
Ooh, a vent.
I wasn't expecting that.
I could do this all day.
- [cackling]
- [squeaking]
Come on, Nomicon,
help a ninja out.
I can't stop the stank if I
don't know where it comes from.
Oh, I just got the shivs.
Centuries ago
a great war was waged
between good and evil,
between ninja and sorcerer.
Too powerful to destroy,
the dark one was locked
deep underground,
his prison sealed
with a sacred stone.
In the darkness he waits,
wreaking havoc.
Possessing the vulnerable,
using that which
they hold most dear,
amassing power from chaos.
Once he gains enough power
he will escape,
and darkness will reign.
Preventing this is the
sacred duty of the ninja.
The sorcerer is stanking
vulnerable students.
Students who have been
crushed by the mean judge.
- [all] Off my stage!
- I have to stop Howard.
I got my eyes all ready
to see dancing fish,
and then you guys come out.
You're not fish,
you're not even dancing.
- Uh, we haven't started yet.
- [audience] Ooh!
I like you, you're feisty.
You know what else
you are?
[audience] Off my stage!
- [cheering]
- [humming up-tempo tune]
- [sobbing]
- Get it together, ladies.
There's no crying
in dance.
Howard, you have to stop.
Every time you reject somebody
they get stank from...
- Forget it, Cunningham. Listen.
- Howard! Howard! Howard!
The plan worked! We're not
faceless Freshman anymore.
Well, I'm not.
You've got some
catching up to do.
- I've created a monster...
- [chuckling]
- [laughing]
- ...who creates monsters!
[chittering]
Whoa. That's not
part of the routine.
- [screeching]
- Ugh...
Cunningham, I'm not
saying you were right,
- but help!
- [screeching]
[cackling]
- [all screaming]
- [all shouting indistinctly]
It's getting a little heavy
on the chaos in this piece.
What are you doing?
Everybody loves mean judge.
Smoke bomb!
[grunts]
Ninja, you got served...
in the face!
Dance fight!
[techno music plays]
Dance fight!
Sweet ninja,
it's a krump attack!
Morgan, can you give us
the deets on the sitch?
- What does that mean?
- Tell us what's happening.
[scoffs] Right now
the girls are setting up
for a backside dirty Filbert.
Do those words
even go together?
If you're a dancer they do.
It's the thing we hold
most dear.
[growling]
- Whoa-boy.
- [shuddering]
The thing you hold
most dear, eh?
Sorry, girls.
Looks like your winning move
just cost you the show.
Ninja tripping balls! Yah!
[screaming]
Now that's talent.
I give it a six out of ten.
- A six?
- Now it's a five,
you wanna keep going?
I'm gonna
give you a five.
- Smoke bomb!
- [moaning]
You guys better not even think
about mutating at Regionals.
All I want to do
is create a little chaos.
Bust out of this hole,
enslave the world.
[sighs] Is that so wrong?
[chittering]
What's up?! It's H-dub,
hitting you live
from the N-ville High T-show.
[Randy] Do we really
have to do this?
You booked the stage
for four hours.
Back From The Yo Bros
are the only act you let in.
- Now get out there.
- This is all your fault.
We were totally
unqualified to be judges.
- [up-tempo music starts, stops]
- [audience booing]
Hey, Howard,
off... my... stage.
- Me? What about Randy?
- You too, Randy.
[audience laughs]
Sweet!
They know both our names.
Plan worked! Ten out of ten!
[audience continues booing]
- [groans]
- Hmm, chocolate.
[rock music plays]
Chirp.