Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja (2012–2015): Season 1, Episode 13 - 30 Seconds to Math - full transcript
- ¶ Go, Ninja! ¶
- [Randy] I was chosen
to protect my school
from the forces of evil.
I am the Ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
¶ Smoke bomb! ¶
[laughter]
Quit laughing, Cunningham.
OK, stop.
OK, OK, stop.
If our video is Heidi's
hot pick of the day,
we will be bonafide
Internet celebrities.
Bonafide!
[panting] Right. Let me
get into character.
OK, ready.
[Randy] Gut Check, take one.
It's over the dog house.
Explodes the bottle.
tips the trash cans,
releases the catapult,
launches the monkey wrench,
here it comes.
[shouting]
[Howard] Gut Check!
That's right, peep diddlies.
Gut Check is H. Dub's
hot pick of the day.
Congrats to my
normally useless brother
and his biffer tandy who
just knocked Accordion Dave
and Concertina Kitty
out of the top spot.
Me-ouch!
[hissing]
- [yowls]
- Oh, boy.
I'm never going to
hear the end of this.
You guys are hilarious.
I literally L.'d O. L.
Literally.
You guys were funny. Especially
when you got hit in the guts.
[all cheering]
Mission accomplished,
Cunningham.
We're Net-lebrities!
Uh, I think you mean
celebri-Webs.
All I know is, once you're
famous on the Internet,
you're famous forever.
Before we shut down,
here's today's What The Huh?
- [voices] Huh?
- This head scratcher
comes courtesy of our
exchange student du jour,
Jacques.
[man crying]
[distorted bark]
[woman speaking in French]
- [crickets chirping]
- [both grunt]
That movie
made me have feelings.
I hate having feelings!
Get him!
[French accent] My first
American-style wedgie.
Well, I'm off to lunch.
[chuckles]
Gonna see what kind
of VIP line-cutting
this new found fame
will get me.
Howard, wait.
We can't let Jacques suffer
just because he made
a super-lame video.
Can't forget our roots.
Bash, settle.
Jacques mean you no harm.
You guys are famous,
which means I gotta
do what you tell me.
This I do not understand.
Bash did not
enjoy my docu-poem?
Jacques,
you're not from here.
So you don't know what
makes a video... [whistles]
And what makes a video...
[raspberry]
- You follow?
- Ah, oui, oui!
I would like to learn the
meaning of your many sounds.
We're about to shoot
our next video.
You should come along.
Oui. I will bring
my video camera
to document
your cinema film.
And I will bring the balls
to hit Howard in the guts.
And I will bring the guts.
Allow me to explain
our secret recipe
for chart-topping vids.
One part funny characters.
Baron von Bananas.
A dash of intriguing setting.
Kiddie pool full
of chocolate pudding.
And a pantload of guys
getting hit in the guts.
You can't go wrong
with a classic.
Mix all that together
and you got us.
We are the secret sauce
that we put in every clip.
Oui?
Well, we are...
[scoffs] This guy's
here for five minutes
and he thinks he's
part of our "I" posse.
So I must ask myself.
What is the secret
of Jacques' sauce?
Exactly.
Now don't feel bad
if it doesn't come
right away.
We are comedy geniuses.
[gasps]
Cunningham, where's
my gorilla head?
[exclaims]
[grunting]
Not to worry,
my new BFF friends.
Jacques will save you!
[distorted] What the juice?
That just happened.
H. Dub's hot pick of the day.
Maybe the year.
[all cheering]
Howard, is it even
possible to be bigger
than an Internet celebrity?
I think we're
about to find out.
Remember, stay humble,
Cunningham.
[both] Hmm?
Where'd you learn
those sweet moves?
I literally would date you.
Literally.
Randy, Howard.
I found my secret sauce.
It is the jumping off
of things.
They actually liked
that better than us.
We used our Net-librity
to create a new celebri-Web
who isn't us!
In my country,
the babies are taught
first to walk on the hands,
then on the feet.
N'cest-ce pas?
When can we scope more
of your amazing skills?
Well, since you are loving
my secret sauce so much,
I am happy to do a demonstration
after the school.
After school, live.
Jacques jumps off
a bunch of stuff.
It is on!
His secret sauce is
jumping off of things?
If only we knew someone
as good as Jacques
at unnecessary flipping
and superfluous wall-running.
Howard, you're right.
It's time we bring in
the big guy.
Awesome! I'll call
my cousin Vic.
I know you're not
crazy about him,
but sweet cheese,
that kid can flip.
Oh, the Ninja.
Yeah, that works.
[all cheering]
Jacques, all of the Internet
is watching.
Anything you want to say?
I hope my secret sauce
will show the world
that any obstacle
life throws at you
can be flipped over,
jumped off,
or doven through.
Mademoiselle Heidi,
please take my camera,
and capture the art
I am about to make.
- Ready when you are.
- And now, I begin.
[music begins playing]
[exclaiming]
Voila!
[all chanting] Jacques!
[Randy] Smoke bomb!
[exclaiming]
[all chanting] Ninja!
Ninja!
Welcome to my Internet.
Oh, no. Allow me
to welcome you
to my Internet.
Try to keep up.
[all chanting] Ninja!
[laughs] A flip-off, is it?
[all chanting] Jacques!
[groaning]
[car alarms]
Ninja just showed Jacques
how we jump off of stuff
in the 'Ville.
But the jumping
is my sauce.
It has been great flipping
for you, everybody.
Smoke bomb!
But Ninja stole
my secret sauce,
and humiliated moi
in front of my own camera.
Do you smell that?
It is the scent
of humiliation.
No.
[sniffing]
Imported humiliation.
It pairs nicely
with a side of this.
[squeaking]
[laughing] You totally
schooled Jacques.
- I did, didn't I?
- Totally.
You think maybe it was
a little too...
Harsh? Oh, yeah.
You destroyed him
in front of everyone.
[sighs]
I should apologize,
shouldn't I?
What? No!
Don't apologize.
Look, I'm no Ninja-nomicon,
but the Ninja shouldn't
have to apologize
- because he's awesome!
- You're right.
You are no Ninja-nomicon.
[whimpering]
Look, Jacques.
It occurs to me
that maybe I possibly could have
a little bit humiliated you.
[groaning]
Oh, don't do that.
There is no need for that.
[growling]
[all shouting]
[Howard] Action.
Thanks, Ninja.
Also, action!
Look, if I didn't say it before,
I'm officially sorry.
Now we're making a movie.
Taste my sauce!
How about I give you
a taste of...
...my Ninja tripping balls!
[both exclaiming]
Gonna need you
to do that again.
Thought I was recording.
Wasn't.
Kinda contemplating
de-stankage here.
[Jacques] Super.
Howard, the camera.
I have to destroy it.
No way. I haven't finished
filming the fight.
This thing's guaranteed to be
H. Dub's pick of the decade!
[shouts]
That is my camera!
Uh, Jacques took the camera.
I need that camera.
Never!
Ho, ho!
Right in the guts.
Ninja Stomp!
Totally planned that.
[groaning]
Curse you, Ninja!
Shame to waste
a good vintage.
[squeaks]
Hi-ya!
[grunts] Thanks, Ninja.
My tender parts were
starting to chafe.
It's why I do what I do.
Howard, I have to make
this up to Jacques.
And you're gonna help me.
[baby crying]
[clock ticking]
[baby continues crying]
[clock chimes]
[heart beating]
[chiming]
[bird squawking]
[sheep bleating]
[elephant trumpeting]
[horn honks]
That worked
on every level.
And now we can all see why
H. Dub's pick of the day...
Celebri-Webdom,
we're back.
...is Accordion Dave
with a new partner...
Aw, Percussion Possum.
What is this?
We lose to a rodent
on the drums?
How is this possible?
- [laughing]
- It's a possum.
On the drums!
And he's got
perfect rhythm.
Your Internet makes no sense.
[Randy groans] This might be
the most boring week ever.
No monsters, no robots,
no reason to Ninja out.
The only thing getting me
through this week
is the big championship!
Yes! I cannot wait
to see Norrisville
destroy Flackville in...
Uh, what sport
is this again?
Not a clue.
But whatever it is,
we're getting our fan on.
- [grunts]
- Easy-teasy here,
bringing you the deets
on the big championship.
N-Ville has destroyed those
Flat-wads 11 years running
and now we're about to
make it an even dozen.
On your mark, get set.
Chess!
- [both] Chess?
- Shhh!
[timer ticking]
[muffled coughing]
[whispering] This is
the most boring week ever.
[slurping]
Oh, this is
the most boring week ever.
No break-ups, no burn-outs,
no blunders.
Everyone has been
disgustingly gloom-free.
Fortunately,
McFist has assured me
he has a plan guaranteed
to crush the school's
school spirit.
- [laughing]
- [squeaks]
Look at them, Viceroy.
Not a clue that we're about
to ruin their afternoon.
- I love it!
- Shhh.
You shush!
I have to admit, sir.
Replacing the Flackville player
with my unbeatable
Chess Bot 5000
was a stroke of
above average for you.
Your robot better be
as good as you say it is.
Oh, he's good.
He's been programmed with
every chess move ever played.
- [sighs]
- [Randy] Am I
missing something?
How could our entire school
love this?
Seriously. It's like
the easiest game ever.
All he's got to do
is put the castle thingy
next to the horsey thingy,
and the guy in the pointy hat
can't do anything.
I mean, am I the only one
who's seeing this?
Howard, I know you
better than anyone,
and you don't know
the first thing about chess.
Look who's talking now?
Chess wing!
Who are you?
Whoo-hoo!
- [McFist laughing]
- [Viceroy snickering]
- McFist!
- [both giggling]
Finally, some action.
Let's do this.
Hooray! Go Norrisville!
Oh, even my enemies
are boring.
What are you doing?
Pointy top jumps roundhead
and you got him!
[groans]
This is ridiculous.
I'll be in
the Ninja-nomicon.
[grunts] Nomi-con.
Please tell me you got
something exciting for me to do.
I'm about to lose
my cheese out there.
Huh?
[exclaims]
[gasping]
Balls. Balls.
Look at all
those beautiful balls.
Another wahoo
bites the dust.
Only one match stands
between the chess-bians
and a record 12 wins.
We so got this.
Debbie "Dominator" King
is about to destroy...
Huh? Steve Riley.
Norrisville, prepare to feel
the wrath of Steve Riley!
Any way you say it, it just
doesn't sound that scary.
[mechanical whirring]
[cracking knuckles]
[timer ticking]
[all gasping]
[Randy chattering]
Bowl it.
In your face, turtle!
I'm calling that one
"Ninja Hot Ball."
Uh-oh!
Ninja Cold Balls.
Nomicon, you know exactly
how to cheer me up.
"To underestimate your enemy
is to invite your defeat."
Underestimate enemy,
invite defeat.
Cool, yeah,
just one question.
What the juice do
these green ones do?
- [sizzling]
- Whoa!
Ninja Electro-Balls!
[Riley] Checkmate.
[shrieking]
W. T. Juice.
Dominator King was
our chess-sassinator.
- Bum city.
- [all groaning]
[all gasping]
- Checkmate.
- [sobbing]
[all sobbing]
[all straining]
- [giggling]
- Ahh!
I can't believe it.
It worked.
My plan worked!
Who's the genius now,
Viceroy?
Still me.
All you had to do
was branch your pony
two L's to the right,
and you would have had him!
Why do I yell this stuff out
if nobody's gonna listen?!
And what do you do?
- [buzzing]
- Ah, bees!
That's a Ninja Bee Ball.
[shouting]
"To underestimate your enemy
is to invite your defeat."
That's great advice.
I'll keep that in mind.
For when something's
actually happening.
[thunder cracking]
[shouting]
[maniacal laughter]
[screaming]
[whimpering]
Howard, you will not believe
what I just saw in the Nomicon.
Uh, everyone was monstered out
in a epic stake apocalypse?
No...
Yeah, how did you know?
[all shouting]
[girl screaming]
Eh, what do you say we
watch from outside?
[all whimpering]
[roaring]
Yeah, week's not so boring
now, is it, Cunningham?
I can handle this.
No problem.
Just gotta figure out
what to destroy,
- so I can de-stank 'em.
- [Howard] Mm-hmm.
[Randy] The trophy.
Gotta be it.
Howard, it's Ninja o'clock.
Ho, ho. It is way past
Ninja o'clock.
I am awash in chaos.
Each scream brings me
closer to freedom.
[laughing]
Smoke bomb!
[exclaiming]
Dancing fish.
Why'd it have to be
dancing fish?
[screaming]
There's something
weird about you.
Don't know what it is.
But there is something
weird about you.
Ninja Cold Balls!
Looks like I put
your routine on ice.
If you weren't frozen
you totally would have
appreciated that.
Ninja Electro-Balls!
Ninja Bee Ball!
[buzzing]
Open up.
It's the Ninja.
Forget it.
Come on,
there's monsters out here!
And bees.
A lot of bees.
[Randy exclaiming]
I need your trophy.
But we won!
And let me be the first
to congratulate you.
You really did it.
Ninja Trophy Slash!
I'm sorry I had to do that.
But you'll understand
when I open this door,
and everyone
has returned to normal.
[all growling]
- [grumbling]
- OK, this is bad.
Just gonna wing it.
[screaming]
Huh?
Got kinda a lot
going on here.
[Howard] I think I know
how Flackville won.
Uh-huh, yeah, OK.
Steve Riley is
a chess-playing McFist-bot
designed to beat
Norrisville. Mm-hmm.
Which bummed everyone out,
allowing the Sorcerer
to stank them. Wow.
That is a serious plan.
Hold on one second.
And I'm back.
So the slashing the trophy?
Big, fat goose egg.
- [shrieking]
- Ninja Slipping Balls.
How are you gonna
de-stank the school?
Everyone thought
Norrisville couldn't lose.
We underestimated our enemy.
When we lost,
everyone got stanked.
So to de-stank,
we have to win.
Howard, we have
to beat Flackville.
I'll do it.
But all of our players
are monsters.
Uh, hello.
I totally get
this dumb game.
Yes, that's it!
That guy can play.
- Hey, buddy.
- [roaring]
No, he's a monster.
That's a monster too.
Tell you what.
You fight that thing,
I'll go save the school.
Hey, Steve.
Your move.
[grunting]
Hey, where you going?
Howard?
Anybody here
know what's happening?
'Cause I don't get
this game at all.
- [both] Shhh!
- [sizzling]
Why is your robot sweating?
That boy's playing
crazy chess.
Chess Bot isn't
programmed for that.
Ha!
Oh, you took my pointy
diagonal guy.
Uh, but you totally missed
my only-can-go-straight guy.
Chess mate!
You mean, checkmate!
Yeah, whatever.
I win!
[all cheering]
[all chanting] Howard!
[Randy] Ninja Hot Balls!
It's not a big deal.
It's what I do, I'm a Ninja.
Seriously? I had like,
two seconds of glory.
And you earned it.
Smoke bomb.
No. No!
[shouting] No!
I underestimated my enemy,
and he would have defeated me,
if it wasn't for you.
Wow.
That is an ugly trophy.
Hey, kid.
You saved the day.
No. We saved the day.
[gasps] And why do you
get the bigger half?
Because I saved the day more.
The juice you did!
The juice I didn't!
[both arguing]
- [Randy] I was chosen
to protect my school
from the forces of evil.
I am the Ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
¶ Smoke bomb! ¶
[laughter]
Quit laughing, Cunningham.
OK, stop.
OK, OK, stop.
If our video is Heidi's
hot pick of the day,
we will be bonafide
Internet celebrities.
Bonafide!
[panting] Right. Let me
get into character.
OK, ready.
[Randy] Gut Check, take one.
It's over the dog house.
Explodes the bottle.
tips the trash cans,
releases the catapult,
launches the monkey wrench,
here it comes.
[shouting]
[Howard] Gut Check!
That's right, peep diddlies.
Gut Check is H. Dub's
hot pick of the day.
Congrats to my
normally useless brother
and his biffer tandy who
just knocked Accordion Dave
and Concertina Kitty
out of the top spot.
Me-ouch!
[hissing]
- [yowls]
- Oh, boy.
I'm never going to
hear the end of this.
You guys are hilarious.
I literally L.'d O. L.
Literally.
You guys were funny. Especially
when you got hit in the guts.
[all cheering]
Mission accomplished,
Cunningham.
We're Net-lebrities!
Uh, I think you mean
celebri-Webs.
All I know is, once you're
famous on the Internet,
you're famous forever.
Before we shut down,
here's today's What The Huh?
- [voices] Huh?
- This head scratcher
comes courtesy of our
exchange student du jour,
Jacques.
[man crying]
[distorted bark]
[woman speaking in French]
- [crickets chirping]
- [both grunt]
That movie
made me have feelings.
I hate having feelings!
Get him!
[French accent] My first
American-style wedgie.
Well, I'm off to lunch.
[chuckles]
Gonna see what kind
of VIP line-cutting
this new found fame
will get me.
Howard, wait.
We can't let Jacques suffer
just because he made
a super-lame video.
Can't forget our roots.
Bash, settle.
Jacques mean you no harm.
You guys are famous,
which means I gotta
do what you tell me.
This I do not understand.
Bash did not
enjoy my docu-poem?
Jacques,
you're not from here.
So you don't know what
makes a video... [whistles]
And what makes a video...
[raspberry]
- You follow?
- Ah, oui, oui!
I would like to learn the
meaning of your many sounds.
We're about to shoot
our next video.
You should come along.
Oui. I will bring
my video camera
to document
your cinema film.
And I will bring the balls
to hit Howard in the guts.
And I will bring the guts.
Allow me to explain
our secret recipe
for chart-topping vids.
One part funny characters.
Baron von Bananas.
A dash of intriguing setting.
Kiddie pool full
of chocolate pudding.
And a pantload of guys
getting hit in the guts.
You can't go wrong
with a classic.
Mix all that together
and you got us.
We are the secret sauce
that we put in every clip.
Oui?
Well, we are...
[scoffs] This guy's
here for five minutes
and he thinks he's
part of our "I" posse.
So I must ask myself.
What is the secret
of Jacques' sauce?
Exactly.
Now don't feel bad
if it doesn't come
right away.
We are comedy geniuses.
[gasps]
Cunningham, where's
my gorilla head?
[exclaims]
[grunting]
Not to worry,
my new BFF friends.
Jacques will save you!
[distorted] What the juice?
That just happened.
H. Dub's hot pick of the day.
Maybe the year.
[all cheering]
Howard, is it even
possible to be bigger
than an Internet celebrity?
I think we're
about to find out.
Remember, stay humble,
Cunningham.
[both] Hmm?
Where'd you learn
those sweet moves?
I literally would date you.
Literally.
Randy, Howard.
I found my secret sauce.
It is the jumping off
of things.
They actually liked
that better than us.
We used our Net-librity
to create a new celebri-Web
who isn't us!
In my country,
the babies are taught
first to walk on the hands,
then on the feet.
N'cest-ce pas?
When can we scope more
of your amazing skills?
Well, since you are loving
my secret sauce so much,
I am happy to do a demonstration
after the school.
After school, live.
Jacques jumps off
a bunch of stuff.
It is on!
His secret sauce is
jumping off of things?
If only we knew someone
as good as Jacques
at unnecessary flipping
and superfluous wall-running.
Howard, you're right.
It's time we bring in
the big guy.
Awesome! I'll call
my cousin Vic.
I know you're not
crazy about him,
but sweet cheese,
that kid can flip.
Oh, the Ninja.
Yeah, that works.
[all cheering]
Jacques, all of the Internet
is watching.
Anything you want to say?
I hope my secret sauce
will show the world
that any obstacle
life throws at you
can be flipped over,
jumped off,
or doven through.
Mademoiselle Heidi,
please take my camera,
and capture the art
I am about to make.
- Ready when you are.
- And now, I begin.
[music begins playing]
[exclaiming]
Voila!
[all chanting] Jacques!
[Randy] Smoke bomb!
[exclaiming]
[all chanting] Ninja!
Ninja!
Welcome to my Internet.
Oh, no. Allow me
to welcome you
to my Internet.
Try to keep up.
[all chanting] Ninja!
[laughs] A flip-off, is it?
[all chanting] Jacques!
[groaning]
[car alarms]
Ninja just showed Jacques
how we jump off of stuff
in the 'Ville.
But the jumping
is my sauce.
It has been great flipping
for you, everybody.
Smoke bomb!
But Ninja stole
my secret sauce,
and humiliated moi
in front of my own camera.
Do you smell that?
It is the scent
of humiliation.
No.
[sniffing]
Imported humiliation.
It pairs nicely
with a side of this.
[squeaking]
[laughing] You totally
schooled Jacques.
- I did, didn't I?
- Totally.
You think maybe it was
a little too...
Harsh? Oh, yeah.
You destroyed him
in front of everyone.
[sighs]
I should apologize,
shouldn't I?
What? No!
Don't apologize.
Look, I'm no Ninja-nomicon,
but the Ninja shouldn't
have to apologize
- because he's awesome!
- You're right.
You are no Ninja-nomicon.
[whimpering]
Look, Jacques.
It occurs to me
that maybe I possibly could have
a little bit humiliated you.
[groaning]
Oh, don't do that.
There is no need for that.
[growling]
[all shouting]
[Howard] Action.
Thanks, Ninja.
Also, action!
Look, if I didn't say it before,
I'm officially sorry.
Now we're making a movie.
Taste my sauce!
How about I give you
a taste of...
...my Ninja tripping balls!
[both exclaiming]
Gonna need you
to do that again.
Thought I was recording.
Wasn't.
Kinda contemplating
de-stankage here.
[Jacques] Super.
Howard, the camera.
I have to destroy it.
No way. I haven't finished
filming the fight.
This thing's guaranteed to be
H. Dub's pick of the decade!
[shouts]
That is my camera!
Uh, Jacques took the camera.
I need that camera.
Never!
Ho, ho!
Right in the guts.
Ninja Stomp!
Totally planned that.
[groaning]
Curse you, Ninja!
Shame to waste
a good vintage.
[squeaks]
Hi-ya!
[grunts] Thanks, Ninja.
My tender parts were
starting to chafe.
It's why I do what I do.
Howard, I have to make
this up to Jacques.
And you're gonna help me.
[baby crying]
[clock ticking]
[baby continues crying]
[clock chimes]
[heart beating]
[chiming]
[bird squawking]
[sheep bleating]
[elephant trumpeting]
[horn honks]
That worked
on every level.
And now we can all see why
H. Dub's pick of the day...
Celebri-Webdom,
we're back.
...is Accordion Dave
with a new partner...
Aw, Percussion Possum.
What is this?
We lose to a rodent
on the drums?
How is this possible?
- [laughing]
- It's a possum.
On the drums!
And he's got
perfect rhythm.
Your Internet makes no sense.
[Randy groans] This might be
the most boring week ever.
No monsters, no robots,
no reason to Ninja out.
The only thing getting me
through this week
is the big championship!
Yes! I cannot wait
to see Norrisville
destroy Flackville in...
Uh, what sport
is this again?
Not a clue.
But whatever it is,
we're getting our fan on.
- [grunts]
- Easy-teasy here,
bringing you the deets
on the big championship.
N-Ville has destroyed those
Flat-wads 11 years running
and now we're about to
make it an even dozen.
On your mark, get set.
Chess!
- [both] Chess?
- Shhh!
[timer ticking]
[muffled coughing]
[whispering] This is
the most boring week ever.
[slurping]
Oh, this is
the most boring week ever.
No break-ups, no burn-outs,
no blunders.
Everyone has been
disgustingly gloom-free.
Fortunately,
McFist has assured me
he has a plan guaranteed
to crush the school's
school spirit.
- [laughing]
- [squeaks]
Look at them, Viceroy.
Not a clue that we're about
to ruin their afternoon.
- I love it!
- Shhh.
You shush!
I have to admit, sir.
Replacing the Flackville player
with my unbeatable
Chess Bot 5000
was a stroke of
above average for you.
Your robot better be
as good as you say it is.
Oh, he's good.
He's been programmed with
every chess move ever played.
- [sighs]
- [Randy] Am I
missing something?
How could our entire school
love this?
Seriously. It's like
the easiest game ever.
All he's got to do
is put the castle thingy
next to the horsey thingy,
and the guy in the pointy hat
can't do anything.
I mean, am I the only one
who's seeing this?
Howard, I know you
better than anyone,
and you don't know
the first thing about chess.
Look who's talking now?
Chess wing!
Who are you?
Whoo-hoo!
- [McFist laughing]
- [Viceroy snickering]
- McFist!
- [both giggling]
Finally, some action.
Let's do this.
Hooray! Go Norrisville!
Oh, even my enemies
are boring.
What are you doing?
Pointy top jumps roundhead
and you got him!
[groans]
This is ridiculous.
I'll be in
the Ninja-nomicon.
[grunts] Nomi-con.
Please tell me you got
something exciting for me to do.
I'm about to lose
my cheese out there.
Huh?
[exclaims]
[gasping]
Balls. Balls.
Look at all
those beautiful balls.
Another wahoo
bites the dust.
Only one match stands
between the chess-bians
and a record 12 wins.
We so got this.
Debbie "Dominator" King
is about to destroy...
Huh? Steve Riley.
Norrisville, prepare to feel
the wrath of Steve Riley!
Any way you say it, it just
doesn't sound that scary.
[mechanical whirring]
[cracking knuckles]
[timer ticking]
[all gasping]
[Randy chattering]
Bowl it.
In your face, turtle!
I'm calling that one
"Ninja Hot Ball."
Uh-oh!
Ninja Cold Balls.
Nomicon, you know exactly
how to cheer me up.
"To underestimate your enemy
is to invite your defeat."
Underestimate enemy,
invite defeat.
Cool, yeah,
just one question.
What the juice do
these green ones do?
- [sizzling]
- Whoa!
Ninja Electro-Balls!
[Riley] Checkmate.
[shrieking]
W. T. Juice.
Dominator King was
our chess-sassinator.
- Bum city.
- [all groaning]
[all gasping]
- Checkmate.
- [sobbing]
[all sobbing]
[all straining]
- [giggling]
- Ahh!
I can't believe it.
It worked.
My plan worked!
Who's the genius now,
Viceroy?
Still me.
All you had to do
was branch your pony
two L's to the right,
and you would have had him!
Why do I yell this stuff out
if nobody's gonna listen?!
And what do you do?
- [buzzing]
- Ah, bees!
That's a Ninja Bee Ball.
[shouting]
"To underestimate your enemy
is to invite your defeat."
That's great advice.
I'll keep that in mind.
For when something's
actually happening.
[thunder cracking]
[shouting]
[maniacal laughter]
[screaming]
[whimpering]
Howard, you will not believe
what I just saw in the Nomicon.
Uh, everyone was monstered out
in a epic stake apocalypse?
No...
Yeah, how did you know?
[all shouting]
[girl screaming]
Eh, what do you say we
watch from outside?
[all whimpering]
[roaring]
Yeah, week's not so boring
now, is it, Cunningham?
I can handle this.
No problem.
Just gotta figure out
what to destroy,
- so I can de-stank 'em.
- [Howard] Mm-hmm.
[Randy] The trophy.
Gotta be it.
Howard, it's Ninja o'clock.
Ho, ho. It is way past
Ninja o'clock.
I am awash in chaos.
Each scream brings me
closer to freedom.
[laughing]
Smoke bomb!
[exclaiming]
Dancing fish.
Why'd it have to be
dancing fish?
[screaming]
There's something
weird about you.
Don't know what it is.
But there is something
weird about you.
Ninja Cold Balls!
Looks like I put
your routine on ice.
If you weren't frozen
you totally would have
appreciated that.
Ninja Electro-Balls!
Ninja Bee Ball!
[buzzing]
Open up.
It's the Ninja.
Forget it.
Come on,
there's monsters out here!
And bees.
A lot of bees.
[Randy exclaiming]
I need your trophy.
But we won!
And let me be the first
to congratulate you.
You really did it.
Ninja Trophy Slash!
I'm sorry I had to do that.
But you'll understand
when I open this door,
and everyone
has returned to normal.
[all growling]
- [grumbling]
- OK, this is bad.
Just gonna wing it.
[screaming]
Huh?
Got kinda a lot
going on here.
[Howard] I think I know
how Flackville won.
Uh-huh, yeah, OK.
Steve Riley is
a chess-playing McFist-bot
designed to beat
Norrisville. Mm-hmm.
Which bummed everyone out,
allowing the Sorcerer
to stank them. Wow.
That is a serious plan.
Hold on one second.
And I'm back.
So the slashing the trophy?
Big, fat goose egg.
- [shrieking]
- Ninja Slipping Balls.
How are you gonna
de-stank the school?
Everyone thought
Norrisville couldn't lose.
We underestimated our enemy.
When we lost,
everyone got stanked.
So to de-stank,
we have to win.
Howard, we have
to beat Flackville.
I'll do it.
But all of our players
are monsters.
Uh, hello.
I totally get
this dumb game.
Yes, that's it!
That guy can play.
- Hey, buddy.
- [roaring]
No, he's a monster.
That's a monster too.
Tell you what.
You fight that thing,
I'll go save the school.
Hey, Steve.
Your move.
[grunting]
Hey, where you going?
Howard?
Anybody here
know what's happening?
'Cause I don't get
this game at all.
- [both] Shhh!
- [sizzling]
Why is your robot sweating?
That boy's playing
crazy chess.
Chess Bot isn't
programmed for that.
Ha!
Oh, you took my pointy
diagonal guy.
Uh, but you totally missed
my only-can-go-straight guy.
Chess mate!
You mean, checkmate!
Yeah, whatever.
I win!
[all cheering]
[all chanting] Howard!
[Randy] Ninja Hot Balls!
It's not a big deal.
It's what I do, I'm a Ninja.
Seriously? I had like,
two seconds of glory.
And you earned it.
Smoke bomb.
No. No!
[shouting] No!
I underestimated my enemy,
and he would have defeated me,
if it wasn't for you.
Wow.
That is an ugly trophy.
Hey, kid.
You saved the day.
No. We saved the day.
[gasps] And why do you
get the bigger half?
Because I saved the day more.
The juice you did!
The juice I didn't!
[both arguing]