Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja (2012–2015): Season 1, Episode 12 - Viva El Nomicon - full transcript
¶ Go, ninja! ¶
[Randy] I was chosen
to protect my school
from the forces of evil.
I am the ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
¶ Smoke bomb ¶
Mr. Weinerman,
how in the name of
industrial food service,
did you single-handedly
perpetrate the
worst caf-atastrophe
since the
meat slide of '02?
I'd be happy to explain...
and once you've heard me out
I think you'll agree,
this was not my fault.
Sorry sir, just one moment.
What part of
"while you're up there,
could you get me some
extra cheese" led to this?
I admit, it was an
unlikely series of events.
But check it, I'm about to drop
an awesome excuse on Slimmers.
You've done epic damage here.
Like, more than usual.
I think it's safer
if I handled this one.
- But my excuse!
- [tsking] Trust me, trust me!
Principal Slimowitz,
Randy Cunningham
for the defense.
And I rest my case.
You're welcome.
Wow, I can't believe
I was going to give
Howard a week's detention
for that.
The important thing
is I showed up and
explained everything.
Based solely on
your explanation,
and no other evidence,
I'm sending Mr. Weinerman
to Detention Island.
You can't send him
to Detention Island.
- What's Detention Island?
- I have no idea.
You're probably thinking,
"Sending a bunch of kids
to a former top-secret
military prison
to face punishments
tailored to their crime
sounds a teensy bit crazy."
Sounds a teensy ton-crazy.
But it's school board approved,
so don't forget your sunscreen.
He was going to give me
a week's detention.
A week!
Next time you want to help...
don't help!
Howard doesn't mean that.
I mean, he's saying it,
but he doesn't mean it.
OK NinjaNomicon,
I may be partially
or completely responsible for
getting Howard into this mess.
The question is,
how do I get him out?
[shouting]
[grunts]
[groans] Oh, it's a dragon!
- [growls]
- [Randy yells]
"Let the warrior who holds
the weapon fight the battle"
Huh? Warriors.
Who's going to fight him, huh?
Which one of you guys?
Mallet-guy, Stabby-guy,
Sai-guy or girl,
or Arrow-man?
Arrow-man!
That's it!
I hold the weapon!
[gasps] I'm the warrior!
I can't let Howard
fight this battle.
The ninja has to fight it!
[¶ heroic music plays]
Seen it.
- Seen it... Seen it.
- [channels changing]
[grunts]
That was a rough sanding!
[chuckles] Beach-zing!
Oh, Hensletter?
How'd a shoob like you
get detention?
I skipped science class
to watch a daylight
meteor shower.
It was a flock of geese,
they pooped on me.
[laughs] He said "geese."
Bash is here. Sweet.
Morgan is here.
Sweet!
Whatever.
Welcome to Detention Island,
I'm the Disciplinarian.
Please to meet you...
Pshaw! He tried to
shake hands with a movie.
[grunting]
You're all here because
you got in trouble.
Oh, sad face.
That's why I'm giving you the
chance to redeem yourselves.
This island has cooked up
some challenges based
on your oopsies!
Skipping class,
shaking your booty in a
no-booty-shaking zone.
Uh-uh, no girl.
Cheating... At gym?!
And causing a
caf-atastrophe?
Whatever the
heck that is.
Get to the air pad on
Detention Mountain
and that's it...
You're done.
Oh, and one other thing...
I really hate cheaters.
So don't do that, OK?
- [alarm sounding]
- Huh?
[gasps]
[groans]
How's it going?
You smuggled a ninja
onto the island with you?
That's cheating!
Cheaters get the
maximum punishment.
Welcome to Detention Island!
[Randy] You're not
thinking about this
the right way.
Now you have a ninja
to help you on
Death-tention Island.
If you weren't here
it wouldn't be
Death-tention Island!
You skipped science, Bucky!
Time for a make-up exam!
And just to make sure
you don't get any help...
[Bucky whimpers]
I'm not good with heights!
Name the three main rocks
found on this island.
- I should know it now.
- He's gonna choke!
- I gotta help!
- Let him handle this.
But NinjaNomicon says
I have the weapons,
I fight the battles.
- You have five seconds.
- I know this.
Allow me, befuddled student.
The three main rocks
on this island are
ninja ring, ninja ring,
and ninja ring!
Ha! He tried to
ninja ring a movie.
Guys, I warned you
about cheating.
You fail!
[all shouting]
Classmate save!
Whoo! It's a close one,
right guys?
- [bats screeching]
- [all shout]
[Randy] Something bad
is about to happen.
What was your first clue?
Cave? Bats? Scary organ music?
Hey, look who it is!
The cheaters.
Morgan, for unauthorized
booty shaking,
we were going to have
a little dance off.
You know, teach you a lesson,
get some exercise...
but since you can't
help cheating,
you're going to
dance for your life!
- [dance beat plays]
- Welcome to my Rave Cave.
[vocoded] Match my moves
while I drop that beat.
One wrong step
and you'll be flat.
B-flat... [laughs]
Musical zing!
Private Beats!
Drop it like it's hot.
Don't worry,
I'll save you!
Please, I so got this.
I was born on a dance floor.
Literally. Whoa.
[¶ dance music plays]
Turn around
and snap it.
[music speeds up]
[screams]
[tempo increases]
- [buzzing]
- Uh...
I gotta get in there.
That is Morgan's punishment.
Let her handle it.
OK, I would...
but as holder of the weapon
I must fight this battle.
[grunts] Let me
take a stab at it...
Ninja Private B-Flat!
Cheater!
[gasps]
[Morgan yells]
Ninja Air Bass!
[grunts] Everyone, quick!
Squeeze through my crack!
Out of my way!
I'm the first one
in the crack!
I'm not touching
that zing.
[shouting]
I'm putting that one
in the win column.
Who's with me?
I hate to even
suggest this,
but are you
trying to kill us?
I'm the ninja. I help you.
You. Perhaps you could
explain to your friends
how awesome I am.
Oh, no.
I'm with them.
Your help got me here
in the first place.
But I have the weapons.
I mean, look at them!
I got a sword,
I got a sai!
I got a this thing!
I don't even know
what this thing is.
What the juice?
I'm doing exactly
what the Nomicon said.
[all shouting]
- [laughing]
- What's going on here?
Well, Bash was going to have
to shoot an arrow at a target,
but since you've been
"helping us"
Captain Punishment
decided to do this!
Hey! I'm having an idea!
Bash, please,
I'll handle this.
No! I want to hear Bash's idea.
Why can't you just let people
do what they're good at?
But the Nomicon
told me to help you.
It said, "Let the warrior
who holds the weapon
fight the battle."
Oh, you are the warriors.
You all held the weapons.
I should've let you
fight your own battles.
OK, Bash,
what's your idea?
Oh, I lost it!
No, wait, I found it.
It was right here
in my thinking muscle
the whole time!
I don't want to do this.
Re-thinking things up!
A little bit this way...
Now back that way.
Just a skosh!
Perfect! Fire!
[screaming]
I'm of help!
Noble warrior, we are
saved thanks to your plan.
What plan? I just
wanted to launch a nerd!
He really flew, didn't he?
[grunts]
We made it! Hurray!
That was intense.
Everybody to
the dirigible!
No! Cheaters don't
leave the island.
Relax,
he's only a hologram.
Cheater!
No. No, he's a robot.
He is all robot.
This one hasn't
been punished yet.
I... This whole day's
been one big punishment.
I hold the weapon.
I fight the battle!
Ninja Arm Slice!
Howard, run!
Time to punish
the Disciplinarian.
[screams]
[grunting] Ninja dodge!
Dodge!
- Uh oh!
- [cackling]
Oh...
Eat lava!
[coughing]
Detention is dunzo.
I just got a call from
EPS saying you destroyed
Detention Island!
You're all in
a lot of trouble!
- [groans]
- Why don't you take
this one, Big H?
[clearing throat]
Principal Slimowitz?
Once you've heard me out,
I think you'll agree
this was not our fault.
[laughs] Wow!
That was a lot of words
you just said,
and they've convinced me that
none of this was your fault.
- Mm-hm.
- [all cheering]
Now if you'll excuse me,
I need to cancel a lease
on an island.
Next time
we get in trouble,
I will definitely
let you do the talking.
Forget it. I'm not doing
anything to get in
trouble ever again.
Hey fellas,
I gotta hit the can.
Could you keep an eye
on this barrel of pudding?
Whatever you do,
do not get it near
the jet engine.
Cool? Cool.
See you in detention?
See you in detention.
[fight grunting]
[Randy] Looking for me?
Listen, Pradeep, it's
Gravy Friday in the caf,
so it'd be aces if we could
wrap this up like now.
[grunting]
[shouting]
Gotta make some room
for gravy fries!
Better take a Mr. Grumpy!
Ninja Horn Slap!
- Huh?
- Hyah!
I'm uncomfortable
around curly things.
I'm going to straighten it.
Huh? That's weird.
But hey, Gravy Friday
is not the day to look
a 3D-Stankin' in the mouth.
Smoke bomb!
[coughs]
Bash Johnson?
You vanquished the monster!
I wouldn't call it a monster.
I've taken bigger ones.
One day a year, the lunch lady
scrapes the grease traps
into a chunky meaty
mudslide of yum.
Today is that day.
Gravy fries,
prepare to be in my mouth!
[gasps]
Who? What? When? Where? Why?
How?!
[belching]
In my defense, gravy fries.
And I counter with,
"How could you do this
to your best friend?!"
Relax.
Just get back in line.
[Randy groans]
I could really use a change
of subject right now.
Bash Johnson is the ninja!
- Jackpot!
- [all gasp]
Yay! Bash-a-ray!
What are you lookin' at?
[laughs] Come on!
Oh, I have not laughed
this hard in a long time.
Eh, wait? You guys
actually believe that
Bash is the ninja?
Bash? Bash.
O.M. Wowzers!
Totally makes sense.
Yeah, being a butthead is the
perfect cover for the ninja.
All year I've been getting
wedgies from a hero.
- What an honor!
- Did you know about this?
Sorry, got caught up
in the hoopla.
Bash is the ninja? I'm Bash.
That means... I'm the ninja?
- I'm the ninja! [whooping]
- [all cheering]
[growling]
There's a strange mix
of jubilation and gravy
in the air today.
What have we here?
Smoke bomb!
Pleased to meet you, Ninja!
[laughing]
This is bad, Howard.
You're not the one
running laps on two
baskets of gravy fries.
A, one of those
baskets was mine.
And b, I'm talking
about everybody thinking
Bash is the ninja.
Keeping the ninja's identity
a secret is Nomicon 101.
Trust me, something wonk
is going to happen to Bash.
- Huh?
- If Y equals 2...
- Then X equals... poo!
- [students laugh]
Poo is correct!
A+ for the ninja!
Oh... are you kidding me?
¶ Bash! Bash!
He's Bash Johnson ¶
¶ Turns out he's a ninja
and he's better than you ¶
¶ Bash! Bash!
He's Bash Johnson ¶
¶ Turns out he's a ninja
and he's better than you... ¶
That's right, that's right...
I'm the ninja.
Bow down before me.
Hmm.
[Hannibal]
I'm a super villain, Viceroy.
I should not be helping
my wife select bedroom
furniture for my stepson!
Hannibal, just pick a bed.
Which one would
Bash like better?
Rocket ship or race car?
Ooh, sign me up for
"enchanted castle!"
- McFist!
- [all yelp]
A fascinating piece of
information has come
into my possession.
The ninja's true identity.
Wow. Kind of blindsided
me with that one.
With this knowledge,
you can finally
destroy the ninja.
Destroy, of course.
Right away!
[woman giggling] Hannibal,
the decorator's here!
Uh... Just one second,
sugar balls.
- What are you waiting for?!
- What are you waiting for?!
Emergency
McExtermination Protocol!
But sir, once activated
the McXP cannot be
stopped for any reason.
- Just do it!
- OK.
[woman] Hannibal? Now.
Coming. Coming!
Look, I got a thing to do...
Handle this. I'll be back in
time to destroy the ninja.
- Hmm.
- Behold...
The true face of the ninja!
Do you mind? I can't see.
Destroy him and
I will be free!
[chuckling]
Please tell me
you saw that.
We got it.
See, punching is fun.
But kicking... that's real fun.
Ninja? Got a little
treat for you.
Found some extra gravy
between the fryer
and the wall.
Oh, gravy fries...
my tongue's wicked
happy right now.
- Mm... Oh yeah...
- [whimpers]
What the juice, NinjaNomicon?
I thought revealing
my identity would be bad,
but clearly it's awesome.
I mean, I'm the ninja.
I should be getting parades
and statues and gravy fries.
Where's my gravy fries?
"Once the ninja is known,
he can never be unknown."
Yes, that's what
I'm talking about.
I've been unknown for too long.
Time to let Norrisville
know who the real ninja is.
[¶ dance music plays]
This is the best ninja show
I've seen in a long time.
No offense.
[gasps] What are you doing?
I'm grabbing life
by the gravy fries.
OK, everybody to class!
Except you, ninja.
- You do whatever you want.
- Cool!
I'm going to go
nap in your office.
[gasps]
Sweet dreams.
Hey! Get out of the ninja's way!
I was about to tell
you the same thing.
That's very confusing.
What are you...
We got the ninja.
- What happened to Bash?
- Something bad.
I knew it. Revealing
your identity is dangerous.
That's exactly why
I didn't do it.
Hm.
OK, OK. I was going to do it,
but I didn't. So let's move on.
- Shouldn't you...
- I'm going, I'm going.
Ninja-Chain-tacle!
Hm? Don't worry Bash.
The real ninja's coming.
Even though you did
eat his gravy fries.
I don't get it.
For that kind of money,
a decorator should tell you more
than, "Paint the walls blue."
Everything's ready to go.
Just waiting for the Robo-Apes
to deliver the ninja.
- They're here.
- They're here!
Time to exterminate the ninja!
Robo-Apes, before
you vaporize him.
Let me get a look at his
weasely little ninja face.
Better get the Sorcerer
on the horn.
It was... [yells]
Hang up! Hang up!
- Hm?
- Hey, thanks for the ride home!
- Our pleasure.
- Bash is the ninja?
Impossible!
There is no way my stepson
has thwarted every evil
scheme I've ever hatched.
If Marcy finds out
I've vaporized her son...
Let's just say,
it's not good.
Shut it down!
I told you once you initiate
the McExtermination Protocol
there's no shutting it down.
Why would you
build it like that?
- You told me to.
- Why did you listen to me?!
This is making my toes sweat!
He's not the ninja!
You also told me to
make it sound proof.
[yelling]
Hey Larry,
where ya been?
In the can again?
[laughs]
Larry!
What's gotten into you?
Uh-oh, why are you
wearing Larry?
Because once the ninja is known,
he can never be unknown.
And if you'd known it was me,
you would've never let me in.
Processing. Processing...
No! Ninja Surprise Rescue!
Still processing.
Bash, I'm here to save you.
I'm the ninja.
I'm here to save you!
So Bash isn't the ninja,
but the Robo-Ape is the ninja.
Oh boy, this one has
gone off the rail.
- [shouting]
- [gasps]
Must exterminate all ninjas.
- Bring it on!
- [grunts]
[grunting] Robo-Apes
are really heavy...
Hey Robot-Monkey!
I'm gonna kick
you in the mouth!
- Ninja Blitz!
- Ow.
Get me down from here!
I'm hungry.
[Randy grunts]
[whooping]
Ninja, thanks for saving Bash.
Why don't you stick around
so I can destroy you!
Some other time, McFist.
Smoke bomb!
Sir, the Sorcerer
is on line one.
Marcy's on line two.
[groans] Give me whoever
sounds less mad.
- Hello?
- [Sorcerer yelling]
Students of Norrisville,
Bash has something
he wants to say!
All right, I ain't
the ninja, you dummies.
- Boo!
- [laughing]
But I'm still Bash Johnson,
and that makes me
better than you!
[whooping]
[yelling]
Hey! Get me off of me! Help!
I'm sorry, ninja.
I don't know how I could've
thought Bash was you.
- I don't either.
- So, who are you, Ninja?
I'm sorry, young band geek,
but I must remain unknown.
Smoke bomb.
Definitely the real ninja.
Woo!
Those things smell like fart!
Listen, I know it's a
bummer that no one knows
you're... you know who,
but I know you're
you know who,
so I brought you
gravy fries!
So honkin' Bruce!
- This isn't gravy, is it?
- I had to improvise.
Also, those aren't fries.
[groaning and puking]
¶ Bash! Bash!
He's Bash Johnson ¶
¶ Turns out he's a ninja
and he's better than you! ¶
¶ Bash! Bash!
He's Bash Johnson ¶
¶ Turns out he's a ninja
and he's better than you! ¶
¶ Bash! Ninja!
Bash! Johnson! ¶
¶ Bash Johnson!
Ninja! Johnson! ¶
¶ Better than you! ¶¶
Chirp.
[Bash] Out of my way!
I'm the first one in the crack!
[Randy] I was chosen
to protect my school
from the forces of evil.
I am the ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
¶ Smoke bomb ¶
Mr. Weinerman,
how in the name of
industrial food service,
did you single-handedly
perpetrate the
worst caf-atastrophe
since the
meat slide of '02?
I'd be happy to explain...
and once you've heard me out
I think you'll agree,
this was not my fault.
Sorry sir, just one moment.
What part of
"while you're up there,
could you get me some
extra cheese" led to this?
I admit, it was an
unlikely series of events.
But check it, I'm about to drop
an awesome excuse on Slimmers.
You've done epic damage here.
Like, more than usual.
I think it's safer
if I handled this one.
- But my excuse!
- [tsking] Trust me, trust me!
Principal Slimowitz,
Randy Cunningham
for the defense.
And I rest my case.
You're welcome.
Wow, I can't believe
I was going to give
Howard a week's detention
for that.
The important thing
is I showed up and
explained everything.
Based solely on
your explanation,
and no other evidence,
I'm sending Mr. Weinerman
to Detention Island.
You can't send him
to Detention Island.
- What's Detention Island?
- I have no idea.
You're probably thinking,
"Sending a bunch of kids
to a former top-secret
military prison
to face punishments
tailored to their crime
sounds a teensy bit crazy."
Sounds a teensy ton-crazy.
But it's school board approved,
so don't forget your sunscreen.
He was going to give me
a week's detention.
A week!
Next time you want to help...
don't help!
Howard doesn't mean that.
I mean, he's saying it,
but he doesn't mean it.
OK NinjaNomicon,
I may be partially
or completely responsible for
getting Howard into this mess.
The question is,
how do I get him out?
[shouting]
[grunts]
[groans] Oh, it's a dragon!
- [growls]
- [Randy yells]
"Let the warrior who holds
the weapon fight the battle"
Huh? Warriors.
Who's going to fight him, huh?
Which one of you guys?
Mallet-guy, Stabby-guy,
Sai-guy or girl,
or Arrow-man?
Arrow-man!
That's it!
I hold the weapon!
[gasps] I'm the warrior!
I can't let Howard
fight this battle.
The ninja has to fight it!
[¶ heroic music plays]
Seen it.
- Seen it... Seen it.
- [channels changing]
[grunts]
That was a rough sanding!
[chuckles] Beach-zing!
Oh, Hensletter?
How'd a shoob like you
get detention?
I skipped science class
to watch a daylight
meteor shower.
It was a flock of geese,
they pooped on me.
[laughs] He said "geese."
Bash is here. Sweet.
Morgan is here.
Sweet!
Whatever.
Welcome to Detention Island,
I'm the Disciplinarian.
Please to meet you...
Pshaw! He tried to
shake hands with a movie.
[grunting]
You're all here because
you got in trouble.
Oh, sad face.
That's why I'm giving you the
chance to redeem yourselves.
This island has cooked up
some challenges based
on your oopsies!
Skipping class,
shaking your booty in a
no-booty-shaking zone.
Uh-uh, no girl.
Cheating... At gym?!
And causing a
caf-atastrophe?
Whatever the
heck that is.
Get to the air pad on
Detention Mountain
and that's it...
You're done.
Oh, and one other thing...
I really hate cheaters.
So don't do that, OK?
- [alarm sounding]
- Huh?
[gasps]
[groans]
How's it going?
You smuggled a ninja
onto the island with you?
That's cheating!
Cheaters get the
maximum punishment.
Welcome to Detention Island!
[Randy] You're not
thinking about this
the right way.
Now you have a ninja
to help you on
Death-tention Island.
If you weren't here
it wouldn't be
Death-tention Island!
You skipped science, Bucky!
Time for a make-up exam!
And just to make sure
you don't get any help...
[Bucky whimpers]
I'm not good with heights!
Name the three main rocks
found on this island.
- I should know it now.
- He's gonna choke!
- I gotta help!
- Let him handle this.
But NinjaNomicon says
I have the weapons,
I fight the battles.
- You have five seconds.
- I know this.
Allow me, befuddled student.
The three main rocks
on this island are
ninja ring, ninja ring,
and ninja ring!
Ha! He tried to
ninja ring a movie.
Guys, I warned you
about cheating.
You fail!
[all shouting]
Classmate save!
Whoo! It's a close one,
right guys?
- [bats screeching]
- [all shout]
[Randy] Something bad
is about to happen.
What was your first clue?
Cave? Bats? Scary organ music?
Hey, look who it is!
The cheaters.
Morgan, for unauthorized
booty shaking,
we were going to have
a little dance off.
You know, teach you a lesson,
get some exercise...
but since you can't
help cheating,
you're going to
dance for your life!
- [dance beat plays]
- Welcome to my Rave Cave.
[vocoded] Match my moves
while I drop that beat.
One wrong step
and you'll be flat.
B-flat... [laughs]
Musical zing!
Private Beats!
Drop it like it's hot.
Don't worry,
I'll save you!
Please, I so got this.
I was born on a dance floor.
Literally. Whoa.
[¶ dance music plays]
Turn around
and snap it.
[music speeds up]
[screams]
[tempo increases]
- [buzzing]
- Uh...
I gotta get in there.
That is Morgan's punishment.
Let her handle it.
OK, I would...
but as holder of the weapon
I must fight this battle.
[grunts] Let me
take a stab at it...
Ninja Private B-Flat!
Cheater!
[gasps]
[Morgan yells]
Ninja Air Bass!
[grunts] Everyone, quick!
Squeeze through my crack!
Out of my way!
I'm the first one
in the crack!
I'm not touching
that zing.
[shouting]
I'm putting that one
in the win column.
Who's with me?
I hate to even
suggest this,
but are you
trying to kill us?
I'm the ninja. I help you.
You. Perhaps you could
explain to your friends
how awesome I am.
Oh, no.
I'm with them.
Your help got me here
in the first place.
But I have the weapons.
I mean, look at them!
I got a sword,
I got a sai!
I got a this thing!
I don't even know
what this thing is.
What the juice?
I'm doing exactly
what the Nomicon said.
[all shouting]
- [laughing]
- What's going on here?
Well, Bash was going to have
to shoot an arrow at a target,
but since you've been
"helping us"
Captain Punishment
decided to do this!
Hey! I'm having an idea!
Bash, please,
I'll handle this.
No! I want to hear Bash's idea.
Why can't you just let people
do what they're good at?
But the Nomicon
told me to help you.
It said, "Let the warrior
who holds the weapon
fight the battle."
Oh, you are the warriors.
You all held the weapons.
I should've let you
fight your own battles.
OK, Bash,
what's your idea?
Oh, I lost it!
No, wait, I found it.
It was right here
in my thinking muscle
the whole time!
I don't want to do this.
Re-thinking things up!
A little bit this way...
Now back that way.
Just a skosh!
Perfect! Fire!
[screaming]
I'm of help!
Noble warrior, we are
saved thanks to your plan.
What plan? I just
wanted to launch a nerd!
He really flew, didn't he?
[grunts]
We made it! Hurray!
That was intense.
Everybody to
the dirigible!
No! Cheaters don't
leave the island.
Relax,
he's only a hologram.
Cheater!
No. No, he's a robot.
He is all robot.
This one hasn't
been punished yet.
I... This whole day's
been one big punishment.
I hold the weapon.
I fight the battle!
Ninja Arm Slice!
Howard, run!
Time to punish
the Disciplinarian.
[screams]
[grunting] Ninja dodge!
Dodge!
- Uh oh!
- [cackling]
Oh...
Eat lava!
[coughing]
Detention is dunzo.
I just got a call from
EPS saying you destroyed
Detention Island!
You're all in
a lot of trouble!
- [groans]
- Why don't you take
this one, Big H?
[clearing throat]
Principal Slimowitz?
Once you've heard me out,
I think you'll agree
this was not our fault.
[laughs] Wow!
That was a lot of words
you just said,
and they've convinced me that
none of this was your fault.
- Mm-hm.
- [all cheering]
Now if you'll excuse me,
I need to cancel a lease
on an island.
Next time
we get in trouble,
I will definitely
let you do the talking.
Forget it. I'm not doing
anything to get in
trouble ever again.
Hey fellas,
I gotta hit the can.
Could you keep an eye
on this barrel of pudding?
Whatever you do,
do not get it near
the jet engine.
Cool? Cool.
See you in detention?
See you in detention.
[fight grunting]
[Randy] Looking for me?
Listen, Pradeep, it's
Gravy Friday in the caf,
so it'd be aces if we could
wrap this up like now.
[grunting]
[shouting]
Gotta make some room
for gravy fries!
Better take a Mr. Grumpy!
Ninja Horn Slap!
- Huh?
- Hyah!
I'm uncomfortable
around curly things.
I'm going to straighten it.
Huh? That's weird.
But hey, Gravy Friday
is not the day to look
a 3D-Stankin' in the mouth.
Smoke bomb!
[coughs]
Bash Johnson?
You vanquished the monster!
I wouldn't call it a monster.
I've taken bigger ones.
One day a year, the lunch lady
scrapes the grease traps
into a chunky meaty
mudslide of yum.
Today is that day.
Gravy fries,
prepare to be in my mouth!
[gasps]
Who? What? When? Where? Why?
How?!
[belching]
In my defense, gravy fries.
And I counter with,
"How could you do this
to your best friend?!"
Relax.
Just get back in line.
[Randy groans]
I could really use a change
of subject right now.
Bash Johnson is the ninja!
- Jackpot!
- [all gasp]
Yay! Bash-a-ray!
What are you lookin' at?
[laughs] Come on!
Oh, I have not laughed
this hard in a long time.
Eh, wait? You guys
actually believe that
Bash is the ninja?
Bash? Bash.
O.M. Wowzers!
Totally makes sense.
Yeah, being a butthead is the
perfect cover for the ninja.
All year I've been getting
wedgies from a hero.
- What an honor!
- Did you know about this?
Sorry, got caught up
in the hoopla.
Bash is the ninja? I'm Bash.
That means... I'm the ninja?
- I'm the ninja! [whooping]
- [all cheering]
[growling]
There's a strange mix
of jubilation and gravy
in the air today.
What have we here?
Smoke bomb!
Pleased to meet you, Ninja!
[laughing]
This is bad, Howard.
You're not the one
running laps on two
baskets of gravy fries.
A, one of those
baskets was mine.
And b, I'm talking
about everybody thinking
Bash is the ninja.
Keeping the ninja's identity
a secret is Nomicon 101.
Trust me, something wonk
is going to happen to Bash.
- Huh?
- If Y equals 2...
- Then X equals... poo!
- [students laugh]
Poo is correct!
A+ for the ninja!
Oh... are you kidding me?
¶ Bash! Bash!
He's Bash Johnson ¶
¶ Turns out he's a ninja
and he's better than you ¶
¶ Bash! Bash!
He's Bash Johnson ¶
¶ Turns out he's a ninja
and he's better than you... ¶
That's right, that's right...
I'm the ninja.
Bow down before me.
Hmm.
[Hannibal]
I'm a super villain, Viceroy.
I should not be helping
my wife select bedroom
furniture for my stepson!
Hannibal, just pick a bed.
Which one would
Bash like better?
Rocket ship or race car?
Ooh, sign me up for
"enchanted castle!"
- McFist!
- [all yelp]
A fascinating piece of
information has come
into my possession.
The ninja's true identity.
Wow. Kind of blindsided
me with that one.
With this knowledge,
you can finally
destroy the ninja.
Destroy, of course.
Right away!
[woman giggling] Hannibal,
the decorator's here!
Uh... Just one second,
sugar balls.
- What are you waiting for?!
- What are you waiting for?!
Emergency
McExtermination Protocol!
But sir, once activated
the McXP cannot be
stopped for any reason.
- Just do it!
- OK.
[woman] Hannibal? Now.
Coming. Coming!
Look, I got a thing to do...
Handle this. I'll be back in
time to destroy the ninja.
- Hmm.
- Behold...
The true face of the ninja!
Do you mind? I can't see.
Destroy him and
I will be free!
[chuckling]
Please tell me
you saw that.
We got it.
See, punching is fun.
But kicking... that's real fun.
Ninja? Got a little
treat for you.
Found some extra gravy
between the fryer
and the wall.
Oh, gravy fries...
my tongue's wicked
happy right now.
- Mm... Oh yeah...
- [whimpers]
What the juice, NinjaNomicon?
I thought revealing
my identity would be bad,
but clearly it's awesome.
I mean, I'm the ninja.
I should be getting parades
and statues and gravy fries.
Where's my gravy fries?
"Once the ninja is known,
he can never be unknown."
Yes, that's what
I'm talking about.
I've been unknown for too long.
Time to let Norrisville
know who the real ninja is.
[¶ dance music plays]
This is the best ninja show
I've seen in a long time.
No offense.
[gasps] What are you doing?
I'm grabbing life
by the gravy fries.
OK, everybody to class!
Except you, ninja.
- You do whatever you want.
- Cool!
I'm going to go
nap in your office.
[gasps]
Sweet dreams.
Hey! Get out of the ninja's way!
I was about to tell
you the same thing.
That's very confusing.
What are you...
We got the ninja.
- What happened to Bash?
- Something bad.
I knew it. Revealing
your identity is dangerous.
That's exactly why
I didn't do it.
Hm.
OK, OK. I was going to do it,
but I didn't. So let's move on.
- Shouldn't you...
- I'm going, I'm going.
Ninja-Chain-tacle!
Hm? Don't worry Bash.
The real ninja's coming.
Even though you did
eat his gravy fries.
I don't get it.
For that kind of money,
a decorator should tell you more
than, "Paint the walls blue."
Everything's ready to go.
Just waiting for the Robo-Apes
to deliver the ninja.
- They're here.
- They're here!
Time to exterminate the ninja!
Robo-Apes, before
you vaporize him.
Let me get a look at his
weasely little ninja face.
Better get the Sorcerer
on the horn.
It was... [yells]
Hang up! Hang up!
- Hm?
- Hey, thanks for the ride home!
- Our pleasure.
- Bash is the ninja?
Impossible!
There is no way my stepson
has thwarted every evil
scheme I've ever hatched.
If Marcy finds out
I've vaporized her son...
Let's just say,
it's not good.
Shut it down!
I told you once you initiate
the McExtermination Protocol
there's no shutting it down.
Why would you
build it like that?
- You told me to.
- Why did you listen to me?!
This is making my toes sweat!
He's not the ninja!
You also told me to
make it sound proof.
[yelling]
Hey Larry,
where ya been?
In the can again?
[laughs]
Larry!
What's gotten into you?
Uh-oh, why are you
wearing Larry?
Because once the ninja is known,
he can never be unknown.
And if you'd known it was me,
you would've never let me in.
Processing. Processing...
No! Ninja Surprise Rescue!
Still processing.
Bash, I'm here to save you.
I'm the ninja.
I'm here to save you!
So Bash isn't the ninja,
but the Robo-Ape is the ninja.
Oh boy, this one has
gone off the rail.
- [shouting]
- [gasps]
Must exterminate all ninjas.
- Bring it on!
- [grunts]
[grunting] Robo-Apes
are really heavy...
Hey Robot-Monkey!
I'm gonna kick
you in the mouth!
- Ninja Blitz!
- Ow.
Get me down from here!
I'm hungry.
[Randy grunts]
[whooping]
Ninja, thanks for saving Bash.
Why don't you stick around
so I can destroy you!
Some other time, McFist.
Smoke bomb!
Sir, the Sorcerer
is on line one.
Marcy's on line two.
[groans] Give me whoever
sounds less mad.
- Hello?
- [Sorcerer yelling]
Students of Norrisville,
Bash has something
he wants to say!
All right, I ain't
the ninja, you dummies.
- Boo!
- [laughing]
But I'm still Bash Johnson,
and that makes me
better than you!
[whooping]
[yelling]
Hey! Get me off of me! Help!
I'm sorry, ninja.
I don't know how I could've
thought Bash was you.
- I don't either.
- So, who are you, Ninja?
I'm sorry, young band geek,
but I must remain unknown.
Smoke bomb.
Definitely the real ninja.
Woo!
Those things smell like fart!
Listen, I know it's a
bummer that no one knows
you're... you know who,
but I know you're
you know who,
so I brought you
gravy fries!
So honkin' Bruce!
- This isn't gravy, is it?
- I had to improvise.
Also, those aren't fries.
[groaning and puking]
¶ Bash! Bash!
He's Bash Johnson ¶
¶ Turns out he's a ninja
and he's better than you! ¶
¶ Bash! Bash!
He's Bash Johnson ¶
¶ Turns out he's a ninja
and he's better than you! ¶
¶ Bash! Ninja!
Bash! Johnson! ¶
¶ Bash Johnson!
Ninja! Johnson! ¶
¶ Better than you! ¶¶
Chirp.
[Bash] Out of my way!
I'm the first one in the crack!