Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja (2012–2015): Season 1, Episode 11 - Night of the Living McFizzles - full transcript
Trouble strikes when Randy misuses the Ninja Nomicon.
¶ Go, ninja! ¶
[Randy] I was chosen
to protect my school
from the forces of evil.
I am the ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
¶ Smoke bomb ¶
Attention, students.
The moment you lined up for
is almost upon us.
Come on, back up.
Back up!
Savesies. Savesies!
As you know, last month
our beloved cafeteria
was destroyed by
a certain mutated student
who shall remain nameless.
He gots a name!
It's Bucky!
Says so right here
in his underwears!
No wedgies!
See you in detention.
Now, while the Ninja was able
to protect our students...
Woot, woot! Ninja!
...he was unable to protect
the tables, chairs,
floors and ceiling.
But only four short weeks
and one year's Twirl Team
budget later...
That is so the boo.
...we are ready to open
our new cafeteria!
Now, I know you've
all lined up to "score"
the "illest" table,
but let me assure you
they are all equally ill.
Wrong-o,
Slim-Diggity.
There is one that stands
above the rest.
Tab-el-Dorado!
Wait, I thought
we settled on Shangri-lunch.
Oh, yeah,
that's way better.
Shangri-lunch.
The single
greatest place to sit
in all of the lunch room.
Perfect proximity
to the snack bar.
Centrally located
for hearing
what's up
with the what's up.
And thanks to a perfectly
positioned skylight,
even the lighting
makes you look cooler.
Shangri-lunch,
here we come.
I hereby declare
this cafeteria...
...a place to eat!
[all shouting]
Come on, Howard!
Pick up the pace.
Howard, look out!
Sit on this!
'Cause it's a chair.
And you sit on it.
Oursies!
Howard.
That was incredible!
I know. Those donuts
were gluten-free.
Didn't think I could
keep 'em down.
Shangri-lunch.
Oh, it's ours.
This is the beginning
of something big, Howard.
Things are about to change
for us, I can feel it.
New cafeteria rules:
No sprinting.
See ya in detention.
[playing sad trombone]
[groaning]
Thanks for saving
my table for me!
No, Bash.
We got here first.
First is for losers!
[sad trombone]
- Bash...
- ...is a jerk.
Also, we now have a strict
"no soaring" policy.
- See you in detention.
- [sad trombone muffled]
Three times?
Really, Stevens?
[scoffing]
What I wouldn't give
to jam that trombone
straight up
Stevens' wah-wah.
Maybe you can.
All you have to do
is roll.
[giggling]
What the juice?
Cunningham,
don't talk to them
or we're gonna wind up
sitting at their table.
Welcome to
Der Monster Klub!
"Cloob?"
What's a "cloob?"
It's the better, more
strangely European way
of saying "club."
I am your Klub-Master!
Your roll,
Accordion David.
Yes, a four.
I give Bash a wedgie.
Is this one of those
in-your-head games?
'Cause I'm so not down
with imagination.
Every day at lunch,
we play as monsters,
pretending to strike fear in
the hearts of jerks everywhere!
Like Stevens.
He sad-trombones me
every time I drop
a juggling pin.
Every time!
[playing sad trombone]
And Bash.
He resents me
for my great skill
on the accordion.
[playing discordant notes]
And Slimovitz.
This is for canceling
Twirl Team!
Uh, what about the Ninja?
In this world,
there are only monsters.
There is no Ninja.
- [giggling]
- [gasping]
Ha! A nine.
I'm giving the Lunch Lady
a swirlie!
Cunningham, you gotta
try this game.
It's the cheese.
Yes, come, Randy.
Savor the power
of Der Monster Klub!
Eh, it's just a game.
Right?
[pop music playing]
¶ When I first met you ¶
¶ I thought I wouldn't
like your game ¶
¶ But then I
rolled the dice ¶
¶ And things will never
be the same ¶
¶ Not quite friends
But someday ¶
¶ We can hang out
after school ¶
¶ Not quite friends
But someday ¶
¶ Actually, today
I'm kind of busy ¶¶
- [all gasping]
- What just happened?
You rolled
the dreaded five.
'Tis the fifth day
in a row
your enemy has worn
his underpants.
Therefore,
he turns into a...
...a monster!
What?
No, that's not how you
turn into a monster.
Guys, you turn into a monster
when you get bummed.
Like humiliated or something
like that, like there's...
Cunningham!
Or...
...the underpants thing
makes a ton of sense.
Of course.
Bummedness!
That's the key!
[giggling]
My dear Klubers,
forgive me
for the humiliation
I'm about to inflict.
Attention, classmates.
I must inform you
that Juggo sleeps
with a stuffed kitty
named Admiral Cuddles.
You said what happens
at sleepovers
stays at sleepovers!
[all laughing]
And my good friend
Accordion Dave
shaves his butt.
If I don't,
it looks like
I'm wearing
fur underpants.
[all laughing]
And Theresa...
Julian, don't you say it!
[laughter echoing]
[sniffing]
Ah. I have not sniffed this
much simultaneous humiliation
since the Great
De-Pantsing of '81!
The moment of my escape
is nigh!
- [squeaking]
- It means "near."
Now back up.
You're standing too nigh.
[laughing maniacally]
Like none of you have
ever tasted it before!
[all laughing]
[all shouting]
Yes! It's working.
Go, my Klub.
The power of monster
is yours!
That's right.
The ad should say
"For Sale: 200
Gently Twirled Batons."
[screeching]
I'm gonna have
to call you back.
- [screaming]
- [playing sad trombone]
[shouting]
[gasping]
[screaming]
Monster or no monster,
I ain't givin' up
this table!
[screaming]
[growling]
Hey! You're makin'
weird sounds.
[laughing]
[shouting]
Bash no likey!
Epic brain-fart,
Cunningham.
Epic. Brain. Fart.
I have to stop them.
Or you could
just let it happen.
The monsters
get to monster
and we get
Shangri-Lunch back.
[muttering] No!
I have to fix this.
Oh, you're
out of the Klub.
- You stupid jerk!
- [discordant accordion]
- Put me down!
- [Ninja] Smokebomb!
- Dave, drop the...
- No, Ninja.
Don't stop
Dave's rampage.
Sorry, Julian.
Nobody gets monstered
on my watch.
- Dave, drop the...
- No, Ninja!
No!
Would you stop that?
Ninja Wrap!
It's not fair!
You're ruining it.
You're ruining everything!
[sobbing]
Four monsters
for the price of one.
I love a bargain.
[shouting]
Bash, run!
You run!
[shouting]
Got the table back.
You want in?
Yah!
Ninja Glow Balls!
Hey! Check it out.
I'm stuck in some kinda
sticky stringy thing
that came out of
a spider's butt!
It's a web.
Sweet school board,
I need to have a talk
with the Science Department.
Oh, also
get me down!
- [screeching]
- What the juice?
Yikes! Whoa.
Why am I not landing?
Listen, Monster Klub...
Kloob.
Kloob, I know
that you feel
powerless and weak
and picked on.
But mutating yourselves into
hideous rampaging monsters
is never the answer.
If you do this,
you're as bad as they are.
No! It came out
of his butt.
Now we finish the game.
A four?
That's wedgies.
Everyone's getting wedgies!
Please, I'll find the money
for Twirl Team.
Just leave
my skivvies alone.
[groaning] Ninja Finger
Slicey Thingies!
Time for
a bulk de-stanking.
How do you destank
an entire Klub?
Twenty-sided die.
It's my roll, Julian.
Stop him!
Ninja Stretch.
Ninja Helicopter
Baton Flying Maneuver!
Huh?
[groaning]
[growling]
Next time, Ninja.
Next time!
[squeaking]
[Dave] Hey, you there.
Help me, I'm stuck!
What happened?
I don't remember anything.
Nothing?
So you don't remember
how to become
a monster?
- Well, I remember that.
- [groaning]
You wear the same underpants
five days in a row.
[laughing] You keep on
believin' that, buddy.
Smokebomb!
Uh, Ninja.
'Scuse me?
You gonna...
You gonna cut us down?
[sad trombone]
See this is why
getting the perfect table
is so important.
You sat with the weirdoes
for ten minutes
and you started
a monster uprising!
So I accidentally
told them a Ninja secret.
The important thing is
I fixed it.
I stopped the Klub.
No, the important thing is,
while you were running
around like a shoob,
I got us Shangri-Lunch.
That you did, Big H.
That you did.
People, if we're gonna make
this Lunch-Nasium work
while the gym's
being repaired,
we're gonna need
some rules.
Basketballs on the left,
meatballs on the right!
Howard, this is the greatest
night of our lives.
[both grunting]
Grave Puncher,
the greatest video game
since I don't know when
has been made
into a movie!
Nothing will stop us from
seeing the world premiere
of Grave Puncher:
The Movie.
[both] IN 6-D!
[both chortling]
[gasping] Huh?
Would you Butt Punchers
keep it down?
I'm trying to study
for my driver's test.
Which is why my colleague
Randy and I
will be taking in the midnight
show of a certain cinema film
that involves the mass
punching of graves.
It's Grave Puncher.
They made it into a movie.
- And it is 6-D.
- Are you crazy?
Mom and Dad would never
let you go to a midnight movie.
Exactly! That's why
we're going tonight,
while they're out. Duh.
Oh, no. No way.
They left me in charge.
OK? I'm responsible.
You and Mandy...
Randy. It's always
been Randy.
...are not going to
a midnight movie!
- Yes, we are.
- No, you're not!
[door locking]
[grunting]
Oh, man, the door's locked.
We're trapped!
We're not gonna get
to see Grave Puncher...
Howard, chill.
It's the only screening
of GPTM 6-D in the world.
We are gonna
see that movie.
But we're trapped in a
maximum-security basement,
almost below ground level.
We'd have to escape
without the guard
discovering we're gone.
- We are totally shoobed!
- Or are we?
I think this situation
calls for a little shloomp
into the NinjaNomicon.
[grunting]
[Randy] "The Art of Escape."
Oh, bing. Go!
OK, bag.
Making a dummy.
Window.
That's how you escape.
Booyah, I got it.
"Deceit often comes
at a price."
Oh, yeah, it does.
The price of two tickets
and a large poppy-corn!
[shouting] No!
Easy, boy.
Movie hasn't started yet.
We already know
the Art of Escape.
All we have to do
is escape backwards.
Manhole.
I'll Ninja-out,
then we'll sneak under
the theater through the sewer,
climb up the plumbing
into the bathroom,
hose off, de-suit,
and boom! We are in.
Or we could climb that ladder
into that window.
Hmm. Yeah, no, we could...
we could do that.
- [projector running]
- [Randy] Mmm-hmm.
- Hey, boss, you OK?
- I'm a Ninja.
I think I can handle...
[crackling]
Way to stuff the entry,
Cunningham.
Why don't you make
some more noise?
Hey, you just
gonna stand here
or you gonna help me
clean this off?
I'm just gonna stand here.
Hey, you asked.
Hurry up!
Watching you clean up
those McSquiddles
reminded me that I wanted you
to buy me some McSquiddles.
[farting]
[scoffs] Gross.
[sniffing]
This room doesn't smell
like sleep farts.
[Heidi shouting]
Howard!
¶ Movie time
Let's go to the movies ¶
¶ Get your popcorn ¶
Slappage!
Why'd you
pinch off the slap?
[high voice]
Over there.
Look over there!
Let's just
casually stand up
- and go find other seats.
- Forget it, Cunningham!
These were the last
empty seats in the house.
Deal with it.
There's nowhere else to sit.
[slurping]
You feel that?
I just got chills.
Why would I feel
you get chills?
Because chills
is a side effect
of my new 6-D
McFist-O-Vision system.
It uses the latest
in laser-guided,
cybernetic,
holographic technology
to create the ultimate
cinematic experience.
I'll be the judge of that.
[Heidi] I am not gonna
let stupid Howard
keep me from studying
for my driver's test.
Coming to a complete stop.
Check for oncoming traffic.
Left signal,
and we're moving.
Ah, this is nice,
us at the movies together.
Your knee
is touching my knee.
Mmm-hmm.
[audience gasping]
[Randy and Howard]
Grave Puncher!
In 6-D!!
[audience reacting]
[growling]
[laughing]
Did I tell you
or did I tell you?
Ooh, there he is,
there he is!
- Puncher!
- I love you, Puncher!
Ooo, here comes
my favorite part.
Watch. Right...
Viceroy, if you don't
stop talking I'm gonna...
You just got 6-Ded.
Hard.
One of you tombstones
killed my mama.
You all gonna pay.
With punches!
So honkin' Bruce!
Can't black out!
Must watch awesome movie!
[crackling]
Well, what do
we have here?
A grave new world.
To punch!
Yow! That's some
high-voltage punch-ocity!
Whoo-hoo!
This movie's better
than the video game.
Puncher, over here!
Punch me!
Jab! Jab!
Bolo Punch!
Right. Left. Right.
In the mouth.
In your face.
Jab! Jab! Jab!
[laughing]
I gotta hand it
to you, Viceroy,
this 6-D
is blowin' my mind.
- Jab!
- Oh, no.
This isn't 6-D.
It's 7-D.
What the juice
is 7-D?
It's the D that comes
right after six.
Seven-D creates a tear in
the fabric of space and time,
allowing fictional characters
to enter our world.
And punch us!
You're telling me
this thing's for real?
That look like
special effects to you?
[screaming]
Make it stop
punching my theater!
I would if I knew how.
Something must have happened
to the projector.
[gasping]
Howard, the Puncher
is real!
And I think McSquiddling
the projector made it happen.
This is all our fault.
I don't care.
This is the greatest
motion picture of all time.
Now stop talking.
I knew I should have gone to
The Love That Never Loves!
- Upper-cut! Body-pound!
- He's coming.
- Get me outta this thing!
- I am so conflicted.
Our lives are in danger,
but this may be
my only chance
to meet Brock Octane
face-to-fist.
Get me out!
Hello, I'm Hannibal McFist.
Due to a technical glitch,
the Puncher has come
out of the movie
and is on a rampage.
No need to panic.
[all screaming]
Howard! Get down.
No! We risked everything
to see this
and I have to see
how it ends.
It ends with you
getting obliterated.
Unless the Ninja
makes a cameo.
Checking rearview mirror.
Glancing over shoulder.
Backing up.
Movie was halfway over.
No refunds!
[gasping]
[laughing]
Howard!
I am taking you
home right...
[screaming]
Hey!
Thanks, Grave Puncher!
[Randy] Smokebomb!
I gotta admit, Puncher,
I'm kinda geekin' out
right now.
Welcome to the party,
Player 2.
Prepare to get punched!
[shouting]
Clouds, wind, chicken...
Ninja Air Fist!
OK, that Air Fist
shoulda worked.
Yippey-ki-yay,
other puncher!
Ninja Roundhouse!
Mmm-hmm.
Sheesh.
Nothing's working.
Throw the Haymaker.
Trust me.
I beat my best friend
with that move all the time.
The juice you do.
Ninja Haymaker!
- Now hit him with the...
- I know!
I've only played the game
a ka-trillion times.
Ninja Jab!
Ninja Hammer Fist!
Ninja Upset Punch!
Shovel Hook!
I don't get it!
That combo should have
taken you straight
to the bonus round.
"Deceit often
comes at a price."
We caused the mess.
We gotta pay the price.
I have to destroy
the projector.
But that's
the only 6-D version
of Grave Puncher:
The Movie in existence!
It's the price
we have to pay.
There can be
only one puncher!
Ninja Tengu-Fire Ball!
No!
Hey!
That's for
ruining the movie!
- [groaning]
- [Viceroy] Ooh...
Seven-D. This is
all your fault!
Oww! Best movie ever!
I can't wait to fork
over my hard-earned cash
to see it
again and again!
And again!
Seven-D.
This was all my idea!
Get the theater ready.
We're trashin' it
again tomorrow.
- But we can't...
- Tomorrow!
Yes, sir.
Howard Weinerman,
you are so dead!
I'm sorry, Heidi.
We're not here right now.
We're at home
sleep-farting in bed.
Hello?
Hey, Mom.
Yeah, I know he's not.
They went to
a midnight movie.
I didn't let them!
How is this my fault?
That's not fair!
Well, Cunningham,
another happy ending.
We can't let Heidi pay
the price for our deceit.
Mrs. Weinerman,
we snuck out.
Heidi had nothing
to do with this.
This is Randy,
by the way.
Oh. Thanks, Sandy.
It's Randy,
I just said it.
Five, four, three, two...
...and ungrounded!
Stuck in my bedroom
for a week.
That was the hardest time
I've ever done.
So what do you
wanna do now?
Hmm, wanna play
more Grave Puncher?
Allow me to answer
that question
with a question.
Who's ready to
punch and roll!
[Randy] I was chosen
to protect my school
from the forces of evil.
I am the ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
¶ Smoke bomb ¶
Attention, students.
The moment you lined up for
is almost upon us.
Come on, back up.
Back up!
Savesies. Savesies!
As you know, last month
our beloved cafeteria
was destroyed by
a certain mutated student
who shall remain nameless.
He gots a name!
It's Bucky!
Says so right here
in his underwears!
No wedgies!
See you in detention.
Now, while the Ninja was able
to protect our students...
Woot, woot! Ninja!
...he was unable to protect
the tables, chairs,
floors and ceiling.
But only four short weeks
and one year's Twirl Team
budget later...
That is so the boo.
...we are ready to open
our new cafeteria!
Now, I know you've
all lined up to "score"
the "illest" table,
but let me assure you
they are all equally ill.
Wrong-o,
Slim-Diggity.
There is one that stands
above the rest.
Tab-el-Dorado!
Wait, I thought
we settled on Shangri-lunch.
Oh, yeah,
that's way better.
Shangri-lunch.
The single
greatest place to sit
in all of the lunch room.
Perfect proximity
to the snack bar.
Centrally located
for hearing
what's up
with the what's up.
And thanks to a perfectly
positioned skylight,
even the lighting
makes you look cooler.
Shangri-lunch,
here we come.
I hereby declare
this cafeteria...
...a place to eat!
[all shouting]
Come on, Howard!
Pick up the pace.
Howard, look out!
Sit on this!
'Cause it's a chair.
And you sit on it.
Oursies!
Howard.
That was incredible!
I know. Those donuts
were gluten-free.
Didn't think I could
keep 'em down.
Shangri-lunch.
Oh, it's ours.
This is the beginning
of something big, Howard.
Things are about to change
for us, I can feel it.
New cafeteria rules:
No sprinting.
See ya in detention.
[playing sad trombone]
[groaning]
Thanks for saving
my table for me!
No, Bash.
We got here first.
First is for losers!
[sad trombone]
- Bash...
- ...is a jerk.
Also, we now have a strict
"no soaring" policy.
- See you in detention.
- [sad trombone muffled]
Three times?
Really, Stevens?
[scoffing]
What I wouldn't give
to jam that trombone
straight up
Stevens' wah-wah.
Maybe you can.
All you have to do
is roll.
[giggling]
What the juice?
Cunningham,
don't talk to them
or we're gonna wind up
sitting at their table.
Welcome to
Der Monster Klub!
"Cloob?"
What's a "cloob?"
It's the better, more
strangely European way
of saying "club."
I am your Klub-Master!
Your roll,
Accordion David.
Yes, a four.
I give Bash a wedgie.
Is this one of those
in-your-head games?
'Cause I'm so not down
with imagination.
Every day at lunch,
we play as monsters,
pretending to strike fear in
the hearts of jerks everywhere!
Like Stevens.
He sad-trombones me
every time I drop
a juggling pin.
Every time!
[playing sad trombone]
And Bash.
He resents me
for my great skill
on the accordion.
[playing discordant notes]
And Slimovitz.
This is for canceling
Twirl Team!
Uh, what about the Ninja?
In this world,
there are only monsters.
There is no Ninja.
- [giggling]
- [gasping]
Ha! A nine.
I'm giving the Lunch Lady
a swirlie!
Cunningham, you gotta
try this game.
It's the cheese.
Yes, come, Randy.
Savor the power
of Der Monster Klub!
Eh, it's just a game.
Right?
[pop music playing]
¶ When I first met you ¶
¶ I thought I wouldn't
like your game ¶
¶ But then I
rolled the dice ¶
¶ And things will never
be the same ¶
¶ Not quite friends
But someday ¶
¶ We can hang out
after school ¶
¶ Not quite friends
But someday ¶
¶ Actually, today
I'm kind of busy ¶¶
- [all gasping]
- What just happened?
You rolled
the dreaded five.
'Tis the fifth day
in a row
your enemy has worn
his underpants.
Therefore,
he turns into a...
...a monster!
What?
No, that's not how you
turn into a monster.
Guys, you turn into a monster
when you get bummed.
Like humiliated or something
like that, like there's...
Cunningham!
Or...
...the underpants thing
makes a ton of sense.
Of course.
Bummedness!
That's the key!
[giggling]
My dear Klubers,
forgive me
for the humiliation
I'm about to inflict.
Attention, classmates.
I must inform you
that Juggo sleeps
with a stuffed kitty
named Admiral Cuddles.
You said what happens
at sleepovers
stays at sleepovers!
[all laughing]
And my good friend
Accordion Dave
shaves his butt.
If I don't,
it looks like
I'm wearing
fur underpants.
[all laughing]
And Theresa...
Julian, don't you say it!
[laughter echoing]
[sniffing]
Ah. I have not sniffed this
much simultaneous humiliation
since the Great
De-Pantsing of '81!
The moment of my escape
is nigh!
- [squeaking]
- It means "near."
Now back up.
You're standing too nigh.
[laughing maniacally]
Like none of you have
ever tasted it before!
[all laughing]
[all shouting]
Yes! It's working.
Go, my Klub.
The power of monster
is yours!
That's right.
The ad should say
"For Sale: 200
Gently Twirled Batons."
[screeching]
I'm gonna have
to call you back.
- [screaming]
- [playing sad trombone]
[shouting]
[gasping]
[screaming]
Monster or no monster,
I ain't givin' up
this table!
[screaming]
[growling]
Hey! You're makin'
weird sounds.
[laughing]
[shouting]
Bash no likey!
Epic brain-fart,
Cunningham.
Epic. Brain. Fart.
I have to stop them.
Or you could
just let it happen.
The monsters
get to monster
and we get
Shangri-Lunch back.
[muttering] No!
I have to fix this.
Oh, you're
out of the Klub.
- You stupid jerk!
- [discordant accordion]
- Put me down!
- [Ninja] Smokebomb!
- Dave, drop the...
- No, Ninja.
Don't stop
Dave's rampage.
Sorry, Julian.
Nobody gets monstered
on my watch.
- Dave, drop the...
- No, Ninja!
No!
Would you stop that?
Ninja Wrap!
It's not fair!
You're ruining it.
You're ruining everything!
[sobbing]
Four monsters
for the price of one.
I love a bargain.
[shouting]
Bash, run!
You run!
[shouting]
Got the table back.
You want in?
Yah!
Ninja Glow Balls!
Hey! Check it out.
I'm stuck in some kinda
sticky stringy thing
that came out of
a spider's butt!
It's a web.
Sweet school board,
I need to have a talk
with the Science Department.
Oh, also
get me down!
- [screeching]
- What the juice?
Yikes! Whoa.
Why am I not landing?
Listen, Monster Klub...
Kloob.
Kloob, I know
that you feel
powerless and weak
and picked on.
But mutating yourselves into
hideous rampaging monsters
is never the answer.
If you do this,
you're as bad as they are.
No! It came out
of his butt.
Now we finish the game.
A four?
That's wedgies.
Everyone's getting wedgies!
Please, I'll find the money
for Twirl Team.
Just leave
my skivvies alone.
[groaning] Ninja Finger
Slicey Thingies!
Time for
a bulk de-stanking.
How do you destank
an entire Klub?
Twenty-sided die.
It's my roll, Julian.
Stop him!
Ninja Stretch.
Ninja Helicopter
Baton Flying Maneuver!
Huh?
[groaning]
[growling]
Next time, Ninja.
Next time!
[squeaking]
[Dave] Hey, you there.
Help me, I'm stuck!
What happened?
I don't remember anything.
Nothing?
So you don't remember
how to become
a monster?
- Well, I remember that.
- [groaning]
You wear the same underpants
five days in a row.
[laughing] You keep on
believin' that, buddy.
Smokebomb!
Uh, Ninja.
'Scuse me?
You gonna...
You gonna cut us down?
[sad trombone]
See this is why
getting the perfect table
is so important.
You sat with the weirdoes
for ten minutes
and you started
a monster uprising!
So I accidentally
told them a Ninja secret.
The important thing is
I fixed it.
I stopped the Klub.
No, the important thing is,
while you were running
around like a shoob,
I got us Shangri-Lunch.
That you did, Big H.
That you did.
People, if we're gonna make
this Lunch-Nasium work
while the gym's
being repaired,
we're gonna need
some rules.
Basketballs on the left,
meatballs on the right!
Howard, this is the greatest
night of our lives.
[both grunting]
Grave Puncher,
the greatest video game
since I don't know when
has been made
into a movie!
Nothing will stop us from
seeing the world premiere
of Grave Puncher:
The Movie.
[both] IN 6-D!
[both chortling]
[gasping] Huh?
Would you Butt Punchers
keep it down?
I'm trying to study
for my driver's test.
Which is why my colleague
Randy and I
will be taking in the midnight
show of a certain cinema film
that involves the mass
punching of graves.
It's Grave Puncher.
They made it into a movie.
- And it is 6-D.
- Are you crazy?
Mom and Dad would never
let you go to a midnight movie.
Exactly! That's why
we're going tonight,
while they're out. Duh.
Oh, no. No way.
They left me in charge.
OK? I'm responsible.
You and Mandy...
Randy. It's always
been Randy.
...are not going to
a midnight movie!
- Yes, we are.
- No, you're not!
[door locking]
[grunting]
Oh, man, the door's locked.
We're trapped!
We're not gonna get
to see Grave Puncher...
Howard, chill.
It's the only screening
of GPTM 6-D in the world.
We are gonna
see that movie.
But we're trapped in a
maximum-security basement,
almost below ground level.
We'd have to escape
without the guard
discovering we're gone.
- We are totally shoobed!
- Or are we?
I think this situation
calls for a little shloomp
into the NinjaNomicon.
[grunting]
[Randy] "The Art of Escape."
Oh, bing. Go!
OK, bag.
Making a dummy.
Window.
That's how you escape.
Booyah, I got it.
"Deceit often comes
at a price."
Oh, yeah, it does.
The price of two tickets
and a large poppy-corn!
[shouting] No!
Easy, boy.
Movie hasn't started yet.
We already know
the Art of Escape.
All we have to do
is escape backwards.
Manhole.
I'll Ninja-out,
then we'll sneak under
the theater through the sewer,
climb up the plumbing
into the bathroom,
hose off, de-suit,
and boom! We are in.
Or we could climb that ladder
into that window.
Hmm. Yeah, no, we could...
we could do that.
- [projector running]
- [Randy] Mmm-hmm.
- Hey, boss, you OK?
- I'm a Ninja.
I think I can handle...
[crackling]
Way to stuff the entry,
Cunningham.
Why don't you make
some more noise?
Hey, you just
gonna stand here
or you gonna help me
clean this off?
I'm just gonna stand here.
Hey, you asked.
Hurry up!
Watching you clean up
those McSquiddles
reminded me that I wanted you
to buy me some McSquiddles.
[farting]
[scoffs] Gross.
[sniffing]
This room doesn't smell
like sleep farts.
[Heidi shouting]
Howard!
¶ Movie time
Let's go to the movies ¶
¶ Get your popcorn ¶
Slappage!
Why'd you
pinch off the slap?
[high voice]
Over there.
Look over there!
Let's just
casually stand up
- and go find other seats.
- Forget it, Cunningham!
These were the last
empty seats in the house.
Deal with it.
There's nowhere else to sit.
[slurping]
You feel that?
I just got chills.
Why would I feel
you get chills?
Because chills
is a side effect
of my new 6-D
McFist-O-Vision system.
It uses the latest
in laser-guided,
cybernetic,
holographic technology
to create the ultimate
cinematic experience.
I'll be the judge of that.
[Heidi] I am not gonna
let stupid Howard
keep me from studying
for my driver's test.
Coming to a complete stop.
Check for oncoming traffic.
Left signal,
and we're moving.
Ah, this is nice,
us at the movies together.
Your knee
is touching my knee.
Mmm-hmm.
[audience gasping]
[Randy and Howard]
Grave Puncher!
In 6-D!!
[audience reacting]
[growling]
[laughing]
Did I tell you
or did I tell you?
Ooh, there he is,
there he is!
- Puncher!
- I love you, Puncher!
Ooo, here comes
my favorite part.
Watch. Right...
Viceroy, if you don't
stop talking I'm gonna...
You just got 6-Ded.
Hard.
One of you tombstones
killed my mama.
You all gonna pay.
With punches!
So honkin' Bruce!
Can't black out!
Must watch awesome movie!
[crackling]
Well, what do
we have here?
A grave new world.
To punch!
Yow! That's some
high-voltage punch-ocity!
Whoo-hoo!
This movie's better
than the video game.
Puncher, over here!
Punch me!
Jab! Jab!
Bolo Punch!
Right. Left. Right.
In the mouth.
In your face.
Jab! Jab! Jab!
[laughing]
I gotta hand it
to you, Viceroy,
this 6-D
is blowin' my mind.
- Jab!
- Oh, no.
This isn't 6-D.
It's 7-D.
What the juice
is 7-D?
It's the D that comes
right after six.
Seven-D creates a tear in
the fabric of space and time,
allowing fictional characters
to enter our world.
And punch us!
You're telling me
this thing's for real?
That look like
special effects to you?
[screaming]
Make it stop
punching my theater!
I would if I knew how.
Something must have happened
to the projector.
[gasping]
Howard, the Puncher
is real!
And I think McSquiddling
the projector made it happen.
This is all our fault.
I don't care.
This is the greatest
motion picture of all time.
Now stop talking.
I knew I should have gone to
The Love That Never Loves!
- Upper-cut! Body-pound!
- He's coming.
- Get me outta this thing!
- I am so conflicted.
Our lives are in danger,
but this may be
my only chance
to meet Brock Octane
face-to-fist.
Get me out!
Hello, I'm Hannibal McFist.
Due to a technical glitch,
the Puncher has come
out of the movie
and is on a rampage.
No need to panic.
[all screaming]
Howard! Get down.
No! We risked everything
to see this
and I have to see
how it ends.
It ends with you
getting obliterated.
Unless the Ninja
makes a cameo.
Checking rearview mirror.
Glancing over shoulder.
Backing up.
Movie was halfway over.
No refunds!
[gasping]
[laughing]
Howard!
I am taking you
home right...
[screaming]
Hey!
Thanks, Grave Puncher!
[Randy] Smokebomb!
I gotta admit, Puncher,
I'm kinda geekin' out
right now.
Welcome to the party,
Player 2.
Prepare to get punched!
[shouting]
Clouds, wind, chicken...
Ninja Air Fist!
OK, that Air Fist
shoulda worked.
Yippey-ki-yay,
other puncher!
Ninja Roundhouse!
Mmm-hmm.
Sheesh.
Nothing's working.
Throw the Haymaker.
Trust me.
I beat my best friend
with that move all the time.
The juice you do.
Ninja Haymaker!
- Now hit him with the...
- I know!
I've only played the game
a ka-trillion times.
Ninja Jab!
Ninja Hammer Fist!
Ninja Upset Punch!
Shovel Hook!
I don't get it!
That combo should have
taken you straight
to the bonus round.
"Deceit often
comes at a price."
We caused the mess.
We gotta pay the price.
I have to destroy
the projector.
But that's
the only 6-D version
of Grave Puncher:
The Movie in existence!
It's the price
we have to pay.
There can be
only one puncher!
Ninja Tengu-Fire Ball!
No!
Hey!
That's for
ruining the movie!
- [groaning]
- [Viceroy] Ooh...
Seven-D. This is
all your fault!
Oww! Best movie ever!
I can't wait to fork
over my hard-earned cash
to see it
again and again!
And again!
Seven-D.
This was all my idea!
Get the theater ready.
We're trashin' it
again tomorrow.
- But we can't...
- Tomorrow!
Yes, sir.
Howard Weinerman,
you are so dead!
I'm sorry, Heidi.
We're not here right now.
We're at home
sleep-farting in bed.
Hello?
Hey, Mom.
Yeah, I know he's not.
They went to
a midnight movie.
I didn't let them!
How is this my fault?
That's not fair!
Well, Cunningham,
another happy ending.
We can't let Heidi pay
the price for our deceit.
Mrs. Weinerman,
we snuck out.
Heidi had nothing
to do with this.
This is Randy,
by the way.
Oh. Thanks, Sandy.
It's Randy,
I just said it.
Five, four, three, two...
...and ungrounded!
Stuck in my bedroom
for a week.
That was the hardest time
I've ever done.
So what do you
wanna do now?
Hmm, wanna play
more Grave Puncher?
Allow me to answer
that question
with a question.
Who's ready to
punch and roll!