Queer as Folk (2000–2005): Season 4, Episode 1 - Just a Little Help - full transcript

Kiss today goodbye

And point me toward tomorrow

We did what we had to do

Won't forget,

Can't regret

What I did for...

Shit!

It's that time of the month again.

When your "little friend" comes to visit?

When every gay charity on the fucking planet

tries to hit me up for a table at their benefit,



or an ad in their booklet,

or a sperm sample for their silent auction.

And unfortunately, it's also that time of the month for my credit card bills.

I've never seen so many zeroes.

Except for a mixer at the gay and lesbian center.

How are you going to pay for them all?

How many blow jobs can you give in an hour?

Not enough.

Not nearly enough.

I guess I'll have to come up with the cash some other way.

Look, we sold almost 3,000 copies of "Rage" on the net last month alone.

I could give you some money.

No.

Why not?



I'm not taking your money.

I thought we were partners.

We are.

Then why won't you let me give you money?

Because I don't need your help.

I don't need anyone's help.

What I need is...

Chivas Regal.

Yeah, sure.

You may be a pauper, but you drink like a prince.

Make it two. On me.

Keep it.

You won't even let me buy you a drink?

Ah-H. I can still afford to tie one on

without any assistance from you.

Brian, I don't know what the fuck your problem is.

You help everyone.

Liberty Avenue would be a police state if it wasn't for you.

And now, when you need help...

Hey, Todd. How's it going?

Fine.

Where was I?

Um, "When... when I need help"?

Right. You won't take it.

You want to know why that is?

Pourquoi?

Because you always have to be the one in charge,

the one who's in control, the one who's on top.

Mm-hm.

You got it.

So where is he this time? Huh?

Movies, little league?

Look, I told you...

Yeah, yeah, I know. You don't have a clue.

Like I believe that.

I don't care what you believe. He took off.

Not exactly the first time he's run away, is it?

So I'd say it's safe to assume he's back on the streets.

And what about your little boyfriend? Huh?

He doesn't seem to be around either.

He's gone to find him.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a class.

Oh, and I have a custody hearing on Tuesday.

And if Jimmy's not there,

I'm going to have the cops all over your little boyfriend's ass.

You hear me?

'Cause keeping a kid away from his mom,

that's called contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

And if he took him, that's kidnapping.

I could have him arrested.

You wouldn't do that.

You're a smart guy, professor.

You figure out how many years your little sweetie could be locked up for.

"Angels Over Pittsburgh",

"Teen Suicide Prevention Hotline",

"Transgender Shelter",

"The Marriage Initiative".

Jesus. We must get invited to 10 of these fundraisers a day.

Look, Ted gets them too. Huh.

Must be on the same victims' list.

I'm happy to contribute to a worthy cause as much as the next guy,

or gal, but can't they hit up on somebody else for a change?

If we give any more, someone's going to have to throw us a benefit.

Hey, girls.

I'd love to shmooze,

but I've got to slip into a bubble bath, get dressed and be out the door in five.

Got a hot date?

From your lips to the gay god's ears.

Vic and I are doing an event tonight for "Think Positive."

Another benefit? Does it ever end?

Well, if we don't take care of each other, who will?

Funny, Ted had an orchid looked just like that.

Poor thing was hanging on by a tendril.

He used to call it "Droopy", short for "Droopus Orchidus".

Say hello to Droopy.

What are you doing with it?

Lesbians are notorious for having black thumbs.

He called us, asked us to take in his mail and...

take care of his plants.

He off to the black and blue party in Sardinia?

He's in rehab.

He checked himself in.

And we thought we'd go visit him.

How about coming with us?

Uh, can't.

Benefit.

Doesn't have to be tonight.

I'm really busy.

I'm sure he could use the support.

What an interesting thing to hear coming from you, Mel.

You were practically the first to condemn him and...

and now you're, what, his cheerleader?

He's trying to help himself.

Isn't that what you wanted?

You think you could leave it on something for longer than a second?

What difference does it make? It's all shit.

The barbecued chips?

Too late.

And the Cap'n Crunch?

That ship sailed.

I had a whole bag.

Gone.

So how much longer do we have to stay here?

Have you seen what it's doing outside?

It's practically a monsoon.

When it lets up, I say we head off to Mexico,

grow moustaches and become drug lords.

What do you say?

Why do I bother?

I don't hear you coming up with some brilliant plan.

I'd better, and soon.

We're running out of cash, fast.

You have a credit card.

If I use it, they can track us.

It's Ben.

Dude, what's up?

Hey, pal. Uh, how's it going?

We're stuck in a shit hole motel in the pouring rain, down to our last cheeto, but...

other than that, life is beautiful.

Give me that.

Ben?

Michael, Michael. A-are you okay?

I'm fine. We're both fine.

Listen, uh, Hunter's mom came by again.

What did you tell her?

That he ran away

and you went looking for him and...

Look, she didn't believe me.

Now she's threatening to have you arrested.

For what?

Kidnapping,

contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Can she do that?

All I know is, she can make a lot of trouble for all of us.

That is why you have to come back.

I told you, I'm not going to let her take him.

You can't just hide out forever.

We'll be okay.

Please.

Now, tell me where you are.

I don't want you to get in trouble, or to have to lie.

Oh, dammit, Michael.

Mi... michael?

Fuck it.

Where are you going?

To get us something to eat before we starve to death.

It's three days.

Three fucking days, and not one fucking word.

Deb, I got the tuna melt.

And I got the turkey wrap?

Sorry.

Except for this strange, cryptic message:

"Don't worry, ma, I'm all right."

Doesn't sound strange or cryptic to me.

Well, you're not a mother.

I just talked to him, Debbie, and he's all right.

He is not all right.

A mother can always read between the lines.

It's the first time since Michael's learned how to pick up a phone

that we haven't talked three times a day.

Three?

I know, it... it explains so much.

Ben, honey, the next time you talk to him, would you

please tell him I love him up to the sky and back?

Sure, Debbie.

And if he's not back here pronto, I'm going to rip his balls off.

Why don't you let me make a few phone calls,

find out about this custody hearing, see if there's anything I can do.

Thank you. That would be great if you could.

Hey, Deb, where's mine?

Don't you worry about it, honey.

You can settle up later,

after you're back on your feet, baby.

There.

Lunch is on me.

Brian.

What? I'm not allowed to treat my friends?

Brian, it's okay.

We can handle it.

Yeah, as soon as you get another job...

By 4:30
This afternoon, I intend to be reinstated

in my former position, and with a sizable raise.

Vance asked you back?

Brian, that's great!

Wow.

I'm going to try and be as gracious as long as I possibly can,

then I'm going to stick it to the motherfucker.

You can keep the change, Deb.

There's a change in the weather

a change in the sea

and from now on there'll be a change in me

My walk will be different

My talk and my name

Nothing about me's gonna be the same

I, uh... crashed.

I think I was out for...

a day or so.

When I finally came to,

the party was still going on.

Well, the party was always going on.

The guys were downstairs, watching porn.

Uh, the ones that weren't too tweaked out of their minds, that is.

And they were... they were really into it.

It looked hot.

So I drew a little off of Dr. C's pipe...

and...

that's when I saw the guy in the video...

the one getting gang-banged.

It was me.

That's how out of control I was.

God only knows if they were using condoms. I...

I'll have to take a test. I-I... I don't... I-I...

I don't feel very optimistic.

Anyway...

that's when I knew that if I...

I-if I didn't come here...

I could be dead.

I know how hard that was for you.

Just remember, nobody was judging you,

because we've all been there, in our own way.

Well, your being there made it a whole lot easier.

I'm glad.

In fact, I-I keep thinking,

you know, if all this hadn't happened,

if I hadn't come stumbling through that door...

I mean, we might not ever have seen each other again.

Um, so, you want to, uh... you want to grab some lunch or...?

Yeah. Uh...

Let me just check my messages,

and I'll meet you in the lounge.

Well, this is a surprise.

I thought they outlawed shock therapy.

Hello, Teddy.

How'd you find me?

Don't tell me I ended up in the papers again.

Mel and Linz told me you'd checked yourself in.

Oh. Hmm.

I thought it was only us faggots who couldn't keep our mouths shut.

I'm happy, uh, if that's the word,

that... that you're here.

Well, you know, nothing like a little R & R in a cosy little B & B.

So, how... how long are you...

Not long at all. Nah. Feeling... feeling good as new already.

They tell me I'm, uh... I'm making remarkable progress, so...

Glad to hear it.

Just be careful.

You know, you don't want to rush it or...

or... what?

Nothing.

Or I'll wind up using again? Is that...

Is that what you were going to say?

All I meant was, y-y-you know, be careful not to

take the cupcakes out of the oven till they're done.

Well, isn't that profound.

And in case you haven't noticed,

I'm not a cupcake. Okay?

And I have no intention of winding up back here, in the losers' lounge.

Look, I didn't come here to upset you.

Then why did you? What, to just see for yourself how far I've sunk?

No...

I told Mel and Lindsay I didn't want anyone visiting me.

Since when am I "anyone"?

Hey, Ted, you might want to grab some lunch before it's all...

Blake, uh...

you remember...

Emmett.

Of course.

Back again, or haven't you ever left?

Blake isn't a patient.

He's a substance abuse counsellor,

and a damn good one.

Well, if anyone knows his stuff, it's you.

Yeah, he's been amazing.

Yeah, I don't know what I would have done if, uh...

if he hadn't been here.

Look, I, uh, just came to make sure you're all right, and

it seems like you are. So...

Now you say you're sorry

For being so untrue

Well you can cry me a river

Cry me a river

I cried a river over...

You...

look great.

Whiskey?

Little early for happy hour.

You're here, I'm happy.

So, did you hear the news?

Stockwell was indicted

in the cover-up of that young man's murder.

Mayor Deekins has... demanded his resignation.

Oh, my.

How the mighty have fallen.

Damn lucky for Vangard he didn't bring us down with him.

So...

name your price.

For what?

To come back, of course.

We need you here.

I need you here.

I don't know, Gardner. It's not just a matter of the money.

There are other issues.

Jacuzzi in my private bathroom.

An unlimited expense account.

Loyalty.

I give you my word...

and my handshake.

Now, I'll just need you to sign this.

Non-competition clause?

It's just a formality.

So this is why you wanted me back?

You're afraid I was going to raid the pantry?

And here I thought it was me that you didn't want to lose.

You're not giving yourself enough credit.

I'm giving myself all the credit.

I brought in all of our major accounts,

I created their campaigns,

I convinced the world it couldn't live without their products.

And they would leave with me faster than a 10-second spot.

But if I sign this, they'd all be off-limits.

I wouldn't count my clients before they're snatched.

He's 16, he's tall, skinny, he's got long dirty-blond hair,

he's got a bit of an attitude.

Haven't seen him. Sorry.

Hunter?

Where the fuck have you been? I've been looking all over for you.

Come on, let's eat. Dinner's on me.

Where did you get that?

How many truckers did you have to fuck to get it?

Just one. And it was only a blow-job.

That's a relief.

How could you?

How could I what?

We're broke. Isn't that what you said?

Okay, that's it. Let's go.

- To Mexico? - To Pittsburgh.

No way! You promised.

I'm breaking it. Now come on.

Get the fuck off me.

Listen to me, you little asshole.

I risked everything for you.

Now you're going to do what I tell you.

We're going to go back and fight,

and then we're going to try and turn you into a normal human being, which...

at the moment...

flapping my arms and flying to the moon seems like a better bet.

Move it!

Hey, can't you see I just cleaned there?

A little testy tonight?

What do they think I'm doing this for, my health?

Actually, you are.

I wonder if they made Elizabeth Taylor do this.

Absolutely.

In her diamonds.

Yeah well, maybe I'd feel better about it if I was wearing a 600-carat choker.

I'll pick one up for you while I'm out.

Sorry.

I'm just feeling a little...

upset?

Constipated, actually. I haven't had a bowel movement since I got here.

So forget the choker, just bring me some metamucil.

Look.

I know what you're going through.

It wasn't that long ago I was going through it myself.

Yeah.

I know, I remember bringing you here.

Then I came back to see you and...

and I was gone.

Yeah. It, uh... wasn't very nice of me.

It was fucking shitty.

I cared about you. I...

I more than cared about you.

I know. I-I know. That's... that's why I had to leave.

To spare me the pain?

And myself.

From you seeing me that way.

Huh. Well, now it's my turn.

I'm the one down on my hands and knees, scrubbing the floor.

The one they all come to gawk at, so they can feel superior,

like Emmett.

Well, I'm sure he felt just as uncomfortable as you did.

I guess it takes something like this for a person to reveal their true colours, huh?

Well, at least I have you.

And you're the only one who knows how it feels,

and what it's like.

I have to go.

A hot date?

Actually, yeah.

We're going to see "Lucia".

Oh.

That's nice. I-I didn't know. I-I mean, uh, you know,

that you like opera.

Thanks to you, I'm hooked.

Well, at least it's one addiction you don't have to go to rehab for, right?

Good night.

Have fun.

I missed you so much.

You too.

Hey! What about me?

Ah, come here, pal.

Hey, did you behave yourself?

He was a perfect angel.

I was a perfect angel.

All right.

Huh, thank god you're both safe and in one piece.

At least it's still in one piece.

You'll be happy to know Hunter and I are both okay too.

What's this?

A burger box.

You ate in my car?

We were in a hurry to get home.

We didn't want to stop.

So you turned my car into a recycling bin. Christ.

You know, it's like that time in 7th grade

when I lent you my brand new 10-speed.

You brought it back, the front fender was crushed, my seat was torn.

I was hit by a bus.

Well, this is the last time I ever loan you...

What was that for?

For giving me the wheels right out from under you for no good reason,

other than...

you love me.

You're pathetic.

And so is this car.

Now I have just enough time to get it washed.

How do I look?

Like a million bucks.

Don't sell me short.

Ten.

Wish me luck.

You don't need it.

Are the stars out tonight?

I don't know if it's cloudy or bright

'Cause I only have eyes

for you...

...because I consider you to be my most important client...

...because I regard you as my most valuable account...

...because no one's close personal friendship means more to me than yours...

...I wanted you to be the first to know...

...I'm starting my own agency.

That's great news, Brian.

Well, congratulations, Brian.

Way to go, partner!

It's a big step, I know.

But I'm confident that by focusing on a small,

select list of clients,

I can still provide the same innovative campaigns you've come to expect,

but... with the personal attention only a boutique operation can offer.

Sounds like a hell of a plan.

Well, if anyone can pull this off, Brian, you can.

I like what I'm hearing, partner.

And that's why I'd like to put Eye-Conic Optics...

I want Brown Athletics...

Frawley Open-Fire Steak Houses...

at the very top of my list.

And I only have eyes

for you

Want to pass the ziti, sweetie?

Sure, ma.

See how nice she's being? That's how I know.

What?

That she's pissed.

She's just waiting for the right moment.

Right there!

Will you sit down and finish eating already?

Well, look who's here.

Hi.

Hi.

Jesus Christ!

What the hell are you two supposed to be?

I'm Mother Superior.

And I'm Frederich.

I can only dream of what perversions go on in your house.

Let me guess, "The Sing-a-Long Sound of Music."

It was a benefit for paediatric aids.

I bet you worked up an appetite climbing all those mountains. Sit down, eat.

No, no, no. We didn't come to eat.

Hunter, give me a dollar.

You short of cash, honey?

Vic, get the tea canister.

No, it has to come from Hunter.

What for?

I petitioned the court to appoint me your guardian ad litum.

My what?

It means I can represent you at the hearing,

explain to the judge why your mother shouldn't get custody,

and why it's in your best interest to remain where you are,

with Michael and Ben.

So, what do you say?

Fuck, yeah!

You see? I told you we should do this the right way.

Yeah, instead of running off without telling your mother.

Ow.

I told you.

Yes, you did.

By the time you're done decimating

his client list, Vance will be asking you for a job.

Ah, we'll see.

Stop being modest.

I was aiming for smug.

How do you like the name I picked out for your new agency?

"Kinnetik."

With two "ns".

That's clever.

It's genius.

Excuse me, uh, but if no one's sitting here, I was wondering...

Look, I'm, um... I'm very flattered you should ask, so...

don't take this the wrong way, but... fuck off.

I was going to ask if I could borrow the stool. Asshole.

Buy you a drink?

I'm... I'm very flattered you should ask, so don't take...

Hello, boys.

Sorry, Miss Dietrich, I mistook you for my friend,

Emmett Honeycutt.

We're going to Babylon. You want to come?

Oh, I'm not really in the mood for men, or muscles, or music.

I'd rather stay here, get shit-faced.

Well, you passed shit-faced about 10 miles back.

So I've had a few cocktails.

What, does that... does that qualify me for rehab?

Besides, I've already been there.

Did you see Ted?

And you'll never guess who's there with him.

Liza?

Robert Downey, Jr.?

Ben Affleck.

Matthew Perry?

Blake, the tweaked-out twinkie!

Isn't that great?

You know, some assholes never learn.

Oh, no, no, no, no. He's learned.

He's even gotten a degree.

He's a drug abuse counsellor.

Yeah.

A few days in Dr. Boytoy's care and...

Mr. Schmidt's as good as new.

Let's, um... Let's have a drink to his remarkable recovery. Shall we?

Oh, fuck.

Stop it. You know that drives me nuts.

Does it?

Then how about we go again?

That'd make three.

God, I missed kissing you.

Holding you.

What?

I'm just looking.

You are so beautiful.

You're kind of cute yourself.

Sometimes I wonder why...

I mean...

how you could ever love me.

What are you talking about?

I feel like such an idiot.

Running off with Hunter the way I did.

I should've just...

stayed here, like you said,

instead of putting everybody through

"Mikey and Hunter's Excellent Adventure".

It was so not cool. It was so immature.

And what kind of message is that to give to a kid?

Hold it.

What you did was incredible.

It was?

Not only do I admire you for having the balls to do it...

I'm actually kind of jealous.

Jealous?

How you put Hunter's safety above your own,

without a second thought.

I wouldn't call that immature.

I would call that...

love.

It's a special place.

Special as in unique, fabulous, one-of-a-kind?

Or special as in, "there are schools where they can teach him to dress himself"?

Mom?

Hi, honey.

Hi, honey.

I mean special as in,

it's for a certain kind of person. A person who's, uh...

has no children, who's single, a person who...

Let's face it, brian. It's a fuckpad.

Mom. What are you doing here?

So how much do you think I can get for it?

Get for what?

I'm selling the loft.

What?

Well, it was either cut my expenses or cut my wrists.

So I've just opted for the tidier of the two.

Listen, I'll call you later with some comps.

We can set a price.

Bye, darling.

And I won't be charging commission.

After all you've done for Justin, it's the least I can do.

You're not selling your loft.

It's your home.

Not for long.

I thought you were starting your own agency,

that your clients were going to go with you.

Yeah well, they turned me down.

Best laid plans of mice and ad-men.

There has to be a better way.

A loan.

$100,000 in debt and unemployed? I'm not exactly a very good risk.

Get a job at another agency.

Yeah. I do have an offer. It's in Scranton.

It's at half my salary.

Oh, Christ.

You never should've listened to me.

I-I didn't. I listened to me.

Besides, it's just four walls and a floor.

And...

top-of-the-line appliances, and stainless steel countertops.

And imported Italian fixtures.

It's more than that.

It's where we made love for the first time.

That wasn't love. I just...

gave you a rim-job and fucked your brains out.

It was love to me.

Vic.

Vic!

Do... do you have to do that?

I guess we could give each guest a claw and a straw,

let him suck the meat out.

What I need's an Advil, or a gun.

Someone had a few too many last night.

How about I wash the greens, gently?

Where's the fucking strainer?

I can't find a thing in this goddamn kitchen.

What's the matter with my goddamn kitchen?

We had everything we needed over at Ted's.

So go to Ted's.

We can't go to Ted's.

Would you two, please?

Make a list and I'll pick everything up.

We won the sweepstakes.

Opening of a new Q-mart.

Fundraiser for the Center.

Christ, another one?

Oh.

Look, Vic. You got a postcard.

From Michelangelo.

That must've been lost in the mail a long time.

Actually, we met at a faerie gathering.

The Tony Awards?

It's a group of gay men who gather in the woods

to rediscover our spirit of joy.

And get laid in the bushes.

Michelangelo isn't his real name.

It's his faerie name. We all had them. Mine was...

Cherub.

I went right after I was diagnosed.

I was devastated. I didn't know how I could go on so...

I swallowed my scepticism.

Turned out to be one of the most healing experiences of my life.

You know, honey, maybe that's what you need.

Running around in the woods with a bunch of faeries?

Thanks, but I'll stick to Advil.

"Stockwell Indicted."

Seeing a headline like that restores my faith in humanity.

Makes me want to buy shoes.

Birkenstocks?

Manolos.

But since we're saving up for the new arrival,

I'll have to find some other means to express my joy.

We all have Brian to thank.

He is the Wizard of Oz.

There wasn't any wizard.

There isn't any "Concerned Citizens for the Truth".

Brian paid for that commercial against Stockwell himself.

- What? - You're kidding.

Now he's $100,000 in debt.

He has to sell off everything he owns, even the loft.

Never dreamed I'd be saying this, but...

I wish there was something we could do.

I tried offering him the money I made from "Rage", but he wouldn't take it.

He's too proud for that.

So what are we supposed to do?

Stand around and watch while he loses everything?

It's his choice.

"It's his choice"?

That's it?

I thought you cared about him.

I do. But I also know Brian would never be beholden to anyone.

You have in front of you, your honour, Mrs. Montgomery's social worker's report,

including a psychological evaluation, testimony from her new employer,

a signed lease for her apartment rental, and an approved credit card application.

Did he include her girl scout badge?

Hopefully, upon reviewing these documents, your honour will concur that Mrs. Montgomery

has taken admirable initiative in overcoming severe hardship,

so that James may be returned to her care.

Mind if I heave?

Don't say another word.

Just sit there and shut up.

Your Honour.

Ms. Marcus.

I don't mean to diminish Rita Montgomery's admirable initiative,

but you'll also find another set of documents,

including her arrest for stabbing her husband,

testimony from neighbours recounting her repeated drug abuse,

as well as a statement from her own son

describing how she coerced him from the age of 12 on into acts of prostitution.

That's not... that's not true!

The fuck it's not!

Young man, please allow your lawyer to speak for you.

That's what she's being paid for.

Yeah. A buck.

Now she wants him back.

Well, I contend Rita Montgomery is unfit to be James' mother,

and it would be detrimental to his physical and emotional well-being

to be returned to her so-called care.

Your honour, may I...

No, Mr. Landrey, you may not.

I'd like to examine all documents in my chambers.

I'm calling a 15-minute recess.

All rise.

Okay, um, salmon poacher.

Popover pan.

Strainer. Strainer, strainer, strainer...

Under the sink.

Jesus-fucking-Mary-and-Joseph!

Oh, you scared the shit out of me.

Sorry.

I didn't know you were back.

Vic needed some things, so...

Don't mind me. Just take whatever you want and, uh...

What are you doing here?

Aren't you supposed to be in...

In rehab?

Yeah. I left.

Kudos to your counsellor.

Must be the fastest cure on record.

What with the cost of health care these days, they don't like you to linger too long.

In fact, they're thinking of putting in a drive-thru window.

Don't you think that's funny?

A drive-thru window?

Yeah, Teddy. You're a real scream.

'Fraid I-I don't know when I've had more laughs than with you.

Well, you must feel real good that the last one's on me.

How I've managed to totally fuck up my life.

Sorry. Don't plan pity parties.

I'm not asking for your pity. I'm just stating a fact.

Well, then here's another one.

You're not going to get better sitting on the sofa.

So why don't you take your sardonic wit and...

and your superior, "I'm not like those other losers" attitude

and get your ass back there.

What? So they can fix me?

It's too late.

I'm beyond repair.

I have nothing.

No future, no friends.

No job, no lover.

What's the point?

I might as well be dead.

Then do it.

What?

I said, "Then do it."

Go on.

Kill yourself.

Doing us all a favour.

Only, uh... only, don't be a man about it.

Be a queen.

Mood music. Yeah.

And... oh. Here, it's, uh... it's not quite a dagger, but it'll do in a pinch.

Go on.

The good news is, you can finally be Maria Callas.

Plunge it into your heart, like Tosca.

Tosca didn't stab herself. She jumped off a roof.

Even better.

Feel free to scream or...

sing as loud as you want.

Because nobody's listening.

Having reviewed all the documents, there's no doubt, Mrs. Montgomery,

that alcohol and drug abuse, as well as a violent home life, made you unfit

to give your son the proper care he deserved.

Still, there's every indication that you've made great strides to break free from your past.

It is also my overwhelming personal feeling that a child belongs with its natural parent,

as long as that parent can provide a safe and nurturing environment.

This court is therefore willing to give you a second chance

by granting you custody of James.

Thank you.

I hope you will also give your mother a second chance.

There's no way in hell I'm going with her!

If you don't, young man, I'll be forced to hold you in contempt.

This court is adjourned.

All rise.

Ben!

I told you this would happen. Mel...

I'm so sorry, honey. We did the best we could.

Jimmy?

Um, I promise everything's going to be better from now on.

Sure it will, mom.

James.

I forgot to tell you;

I'm HIV-positive.

That's not very funny, Jimmy.

It's true.

Ask them.

It's true.

Oh.

Oh, you fucking... dirty little faggot!

The fuck, you're trying to give it to me?

Ms. Marcus, Mr. Landrey, may I see you?

My mom told me there's someone who's interested in buying the loft.

Couple of designer fairies. Can't wait to turn it into a moroccan bordello.

Hey, let's grab a drink.

Uh... better readthe fine print. Another fucking benefit.

Wonder what the worthy cause is this time?

"Send a tranny to summer camp"?

Ah, come on.

What I did for love

What I did for love

Ben...

Some suckers just cannot wait to give their money away.

It's for a worthy cause.

What the fuck's going on here?

We're having a little fundraiser

for a very special organization.

Perhaps you've heard of them.

"Concerned Citizens for the Truth"?

You see, they've made a very significant contribution to our community.

They've helped us,

and now we hear they're in need of...

well, a little help themselves.

So, huh, we, the community, would like to give something back.

It may not be all that they need...

but it's a start.

We're hoping you'll accept this...

on their behalf.

Go on, open it.

Uh, I-I-I've only known the...

"Concerned Citizens for the Truth" for a short time, but, um...

I've known them long enough to know that they don't like to accept handouts.

Uh, charitable donations.

But I guess this time I'm just going to have to tell them that...

once in a while, we could all use a little help, and...

they're just going to have to swallow their fucking pride and...

say...

thank you.

Good for you, hon.

...Shout there's gonna be a great day

Angels in the sky promise that by and by there's gonna be a great day

The night's still young. What do you say we hit some after-hours clubs?

Excuse me, young man?

You've got school tomorrow.

Christ, don't tell me you're going to turn into my goddamn parents.

Hey, you heard what the judge said.

You can live with Michael and Ben

provided you stay on your best behaviour.

And we intend to keep an eye on you, just to make sure you do.

Well, I knew I'd live long enough to see gay marriages...

but I never thought I would live to see Brian Kinney accept help,

and say "thank you"!

I thought I even saw a tear in his eye.

Didn't you?

Honey, I'm worried about you.

That famous flame of yours is just about out.

What you could use is a generous sprinkling of faerie dust.

See you, guys.

Hey, Darren, Shanda Leer was great tonight.

Oh, well, it's what I do for love.

Now you and half of gay Pittsburgh

can sleep soundly in your bed tonight,

knowing the loft is still yours.

Half of gay Pittsburgh can sleep soundly in their own bed.

Hey, here comes one.

Hey, faggot.

Yeah, you.

Nice dress. Going dancing?

Let me go. Leave me alone.

Not before you suck on this, you fucking faggot.

...In the early morn you will hear his horn

screamin' it's not far away hold up your hands

and say there's gonna be...

for all to see...

there's gonna be a great big swinging crazy wonderful day