QI (2003–…): Season 8, Episode 15 - Hypnosis, Hallucinations & Hysteria - full transcript

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[Events]
Format: Marked, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:24.82,0:00:26.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:30.86,0:00:32.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, well, well, well, well,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:32.50,0:00:37.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,howdy, howdy, howdy-doody\Nand welcome.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:37.14,0:00:41.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Welcome to a QI that's all about\Nhypnosis, hallucinations\Nand hysteria.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:41.82,0:00:44.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And with me tonight are\Nthe hypnotic Ronni Ancona...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:44.98,0:00:48.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:48.54,0:00:51.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..the hysterical Robert Webb...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:51.26,0:00:54.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:54.58,0:00:56.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..the histrionic Phill Jupitus...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:56.78,0:01:00.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:00.82,0:01:03.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..and His Majesty Alan Davies.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:03.58,0:01:07.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:11.38,0:01:14.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,With such a theme, we're all buzzing\Nwith excitement of course
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:14.86,0:01:15.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and Ronnie goes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:15.90,0:01:18.50,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,'You are feeling sleepy.'
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:18.50,0:01:20.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And Robert goes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:20.18,0:01:23.58,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,'Very sleepy.'
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:23.58,0:01:24.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And Phill goes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:24.90,0:01:28.30,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,'Your eyelids are heavy.'
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:28.30,0:01:30.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And Alan goes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:30.86,0:01:32.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,SNORING
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:34.58,0:01:37.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So if I hypnotised you\Nbut then cut off your leg,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:37.74,0:01:39.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,how much fuss would you make?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:39.58,0:01:43.38,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Doesn't it depend what you've\Ngone in for the hypnosis for?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:43.38,0:01:47.82,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, if you'd gone into stop\Nsmoking, I'd be a bit miffed really.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:47.82,0:01:49.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a very good point.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:49.58,0:01:51.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Assuming...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:51.30,0:01:54.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Assuming you'd gone in\Nbecause you had gangrene
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:54.90,0:01:57.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,or you needed to lose your leg...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:57.26,0:02:00.50,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They never used hypnosis\Nas an anaesthetic, did they?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:00.50,0:02:02.86,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Surely you'd be screaming in agony.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:02.86,0:02:06.66,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oddly enough, no. It was used before\Nether in the 1830s very commonly
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:06.66,0:02:08.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,or reasonably commonly at least,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:08.46,0:02:15.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,once Mesmer had sort of,\Nas it were, introduced the world\Nto the idea of hypnotism.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:15.10,0:02:18.66,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What seems to be the case is that\Nmost of the discomfort we feel -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:18.66,0:02:22.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,even in an operation like sawing off\Na leg - is the ANXIETY of pain.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:22.90,0:02:25.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,If you can relieve yourself\Nof the anxiety,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:25.50,0:02:27.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,an enormous amount of the pain goes
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:27.58,0:02:31.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and a good example to prove this\Nis people who are in some way
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:31.62,0:02:34.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,allergic to or resistant to\Nanaesthetic
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:34.46,0:02:37.66,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and so can't be put under\Nbecause it's too risky.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:37.66,0:02:40.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So they're injected with Valium,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:40.30,0:02:43.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,which is an anti-anxiety drug and\Nall it does is tranquillise them.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:43.82,0:02:47.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It doesn't send them to sleep,\Nit just makes them feel less anxious
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:47.38,0:02:50.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and you can do extraordinary things\Nto someone in that condition.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:50.90,0:02:52.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,PHILL: If I was going in for surgery,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:52.70,0:02:56.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd feel anxious when I saw the man\Nin the top hat\Nwith the crazy eyebrows.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:57.78,0:03:03.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It would be a worry, I agree, but\Nit has a long history. In the 1830s
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:03.54,0:03:06.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,there was a Scottish doctor\Nwho did a lot of operations in India
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:06.94,0:03:10.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,where there is a really unpleasant\Ndisease called filariasis
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:10.50,0:03:12.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,which causes\Nhydroceles of the scrotum.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:12.70,0:03:15.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Now anything scrotal\Nyou might say is a worry.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:15.26,0:03:18.74,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,It makes your scrotum\Ngo into a triangle?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:18.74,0:03:21.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No, that would be isosceles!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:21.06,0:03:22.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:22.90,0:03:25.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,This is hydroceles.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:25.50,0:03:27.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And he never ate Dairylea again.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:27.86,0:03:30.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,These are large tumours
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:30.18,0:03:34.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and the operation was so\Nuncomfortable, people would go for\Nyears not daring to go to a doctor
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:34.78,0:03:38.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,but this meant the tumours grew\Nvery big, and when I say very big...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:38.30,0:03:42.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh! I mean 46 kg scrotum.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:42.10,0:03:44.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Literally,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:44.98,0:03:49.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,there was a case of a man who was\Nusing his scrotum as a writing desk.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:49.82,0:03:53.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sorry, but that is true.\NHe'd just...like that.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:53.34,0:03:57.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Writing... That's a good attitude\Nto have. You're right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:57.78,0:04:00.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I would get a Sharpie\Nand I would paint the face
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:00.66,0:04:03.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,like the front of\Na space hopper on mine.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:05.90,0:04:08.06,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd make it look like a hedgehog...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:08.06,0:04:09.38,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,winking.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:11.38,0:04:13.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,This was the 1830s, of course,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:13.10,0:04:15.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,when there was\Nno general anaesthetic,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:15.62,0:04:17.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,it was before ether or chloroform.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:17.90,0:04:22.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So this Scottish doctor's name\Nwas Esdaile. He would put them under\Nand it worked.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:22.18,0:04:26.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,He saved a lot of discomfort.\NSCOTTISH ACCENT: Your eyes\Nare feeling heavy.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:26.38,0:04:28.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No' as heavy as my testicles, Doctor!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:31.54,0:04:33.06,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,You're kind of suggesting
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:33.06,0:04:39.22,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,that a lot of pain is just\Na manifestation of anxiety, isn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:39.22,0:04:43.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The fact is, pain is created\Nby the brain. It's not a real thing.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:43.86,0:04:46.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just information, isn't it?\NInformation.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:46.46,0:04:49.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The brain can create it,\Nthe brain can be told not to.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:49.26,0:04:51.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's bloody sore information!\NIt doesn't help.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:51.78,0:04:56.02,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,You land a mallet on your thumb,\N"It's just information!\NIt's just information!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:56.02,0:04:59.74,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,It doesn't really help. I tried to\Nbe hypnotised to stop smoking once
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:59.74,0:05:04.62,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,and he was such a nice man and it\Nso wasn't going anywhere, I fainted.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:04.62,0:05:11.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Even when it's a nice man, just\Nsave the embarrassment, you mustn't\Nfake it, but I did. Did it work?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:11.94,0:05:15.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you smoke, have you given up?\NNo, I did give up,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:15.42,0:05:18.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,but with prescription drugs,\Nnot with hypnotism. Superb.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:18.78,0:05:22.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, hypnotic anaesthesia can be\Nsurprisingly effective
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:22.30,0:05:25.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,though it seems to work\Nmostly by helping you relax.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:25.18,0:05:27.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You need answer\Nonly one of the following.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:27.46,0:05:34.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What's the best way to\Nhypnotise either A - an alligator,\NB - a tiger shark or C - a chicken?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:34.14,0:05:36.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I've seen them do it to sharks.\NAnd what do they do?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:36.86,0:05:41.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't they lie them on their backs\Nor something? Exactly right,\Nyou flip it over.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:41.50,0:05:45.50,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,But I thought sharks had to\Nkeep moving in order to survive.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:45.50,0:05:50.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Which is why whales have learned\Nto tip them over, to make them\Nsuffocate and it will kill them.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:50.78,0:05:55.10,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a very small hammerhead shark\Nbeing flipped. That is a toy shark.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:57.26,0:05:59.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Or a really big diver.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:01.82,0:06:05.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,A frighteningly big diver.\NI think we'd have heard of him!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:05.62,0:06:07.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I think we would.\N'Your lids are heavy.'
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:07.90,0:06:10.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I think I know how to do chickens.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:10.42,0:06:14.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,, Yes? It's weird because it actually\Nlooks like you're...oppressing them
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:14.74,0:06:19.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,quite violently,\Nbut you have to hold them\Nto the ground and draw a line. Yes!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:19.98,0:06:22.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You draw a line from their\Nbeak along
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:22.78,0:06:24.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and they just stare at it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:27.06,0:06:31.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what they do.\NIt's called tonic immobility in\Nanimals and that's an example of it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:31.90,0:06:35.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There's another way\Nto do it to chickens.\NTake a stick or a paddle...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:35.98,0:06:41.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,In this case, a light flagellation\Npaddle I happen to have\Nin the house. You fix eyes to it
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:41.30,0:06:44.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and hold it up to it and it will\Napparently stare at it forever.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:44.62,0:06:50.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Our producer tried it on his -\Nwe're the kind of show\Nwhose producers have chickens -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:50.02,0:06:53.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and he says it didn't work at all,\Nthey just went off to eat things.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:53.74,0:06:55.62,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,You just made that up, didn't you?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:55.62,0:06:59.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No, no, it is in all the books.\NIt says that that is a way\Nto hypnotise them.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:59.78,0:07:02.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,ROBERT: In all the books?!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:02.30,0:07:05.54,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,In all of the chicken-hypnotising\Nbooks? All of them?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:05.54,0:07:06.90,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,How many are there?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:06.90,0:07:10.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,This is why you can't ever\Nlet your chickens watch the Muppets.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:10.42,0:07:12.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:12.94,0:07:15.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Frogs, lizards, crocodiles, sharks,\Nall go into a trance
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:15.94,0:07:19.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,if they're turned over\Nonto their backs and held there\Nfor just a few seconds.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:19.94,0:07:23.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Rabbits and guinea pigs do the same\Nif you stroke them\Nor roll them over first.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:23.90,0:07:27.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know how you wake up\Nrabbits and guinea pigs\Nif they're in that state?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:27.90,0:07:29.06,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,You let a dog in.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:31.22,0:07:34.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The kinder way\Nis to blow on their nose.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:34.70,0:07:38.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,On the nose? Yes,\Na little blow on the nose will do.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:40.02,0:07:42.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,What have I hypnotised, do you know?\NHugh Laurie.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:42.78,0:07:45.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,STEPHEN LAUGHS\NNo, I did on a television programme.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:45.74,0:07:49.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was in Maine, doing\Nthis documentary about America...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:49.30,0:07:51.90,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,What is the most famous animal\Nin Maine? A lobster?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:51.90,0:07:54.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,A lobster, we have a lobster in here.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:54.10,0:07:56.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Ooh! There it is.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:56.50,0:08:00.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Now how did I do this?\NLAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:01.98,0:08:04.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I stroked... I remember.\NThere you are.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:04.70,0:08:06.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You stroke him here, that's it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:06.34,0:08:07.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He goes completely still.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:07.74,0:08:12.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember the one I did in Maine,\Nit was...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:12.54,0:08:14.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I could stand him up on his own.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:14.26,0:08:15.66,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You can see, there it is.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:15.66,0:08:18.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They seem smaller there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:18.22,0:08:23.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There he is, completely still,\Nnot moving a muscle.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:23.30,0:08:26.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,PHILL LAUGHS\NA mussel!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:26.10,0:08:28.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:30.82,0:08:33.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There he is, completely still,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:33.70,0:08:35.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and if I lift him up,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:35.02,0:08:36.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,his tail will come up usually
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:36.50,0:08:37.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and he'll wake up.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:37.58,0:08:41.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Erm...have I killed you?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:43.90,0:08:45.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No, there he is.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:45.18,0:08:47.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He's all right. He's still asleep.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:47.34,0:08:49.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway...\NLAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:49.54,0:08:53.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There we are,\Nhe's quite active now, under there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:55.58,0:08:58.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So dinner's sorted.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:58.06,0:09:01.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So he's going back to the zoo,\NStephen?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:01.26,0:09:04.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course, I'm going to throw him\Nback into the sea, naturally.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:04.70,0:09:06.90,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,You truly are a Renaissance man.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:06.90,0:09:09.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I wear tights, put it that way.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:09.10,0:09:15.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What about, though... I mean\Nthat's humans hypnotising animals.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:15.54,0:09:18.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Can animals hypnotise humans?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:18.86,0:09:20.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a dog -\NOscar the hypno-dog -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:20.98,0:09:23.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,who was... There he is, look.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:25.38,0:09:28.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Those are pretty amazing eyes.\NALAN: I'm feeling it now.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:30.42,0:09:31.86,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll go and get the biscuits.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:34.06,0:09:35.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The thing is,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:35.62,0:09:38.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,he can keep up that stare into a\Nhuman's eyes for a very long time.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:38.86,0:09:41.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:41.82,0:09:45.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,ROBERT: Depending on what human\Nwants to be stared at!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:45.74,0:09:49.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Does he charge hourly? ALAN: Pack\Nit in, Oscar. Stop looking at me.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:51.66,0:09:54.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Hugh Lennon was his trainer.\NHe did go missing and a reward
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:54.78,0:09:59.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,was posted for his return,\Nthough the public were warned\Nnot to look into his eyes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:01.38,0:10:04.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Does that sound like a publicity\Nstunt to try and get tickets?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:04.86,0:10:08.18,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oscar the hypno-dog is loose!\NDon't look at him!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:08.18,0:10:10.10,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"I've seen him. He's in the park."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:11.94,0:10:17.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Presumably when he's running around,\Nsomeone thought they'd find him and\Ngo, "It's Oscar the hypno-dog,"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:17.42,0:10:21.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and he'd go,\N"I'm not the dog you're looking for.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:21.06,0:10:23.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm a Pomeranian."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:25.06,0:10:29.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So, yes, dogs can apparently\Nhypnotise humans. Snakes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:29.26,0:10:33.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe not humans, but they're said\Nto be able to freeze a rabbit\Nby staring at them.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:33.70,0:10:37.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They're very gullible, rabbits.\NOh, please! They believe anything.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:37.38,0:10:38.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They're quite grumpy. Grumpy?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:38.98,0:10:40.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes. They can be aggressive.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:40.54,0:10:45.14,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,They're not supposed to be very\Ngood pets. They're very grumpy...\Nand violent.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:45.14,0:10:46.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I like the Dutch ones you can ride.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:48.54,0:10:49.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Surely not?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:49.86,0:10:52.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They're huge, they're massive!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:52.06,0:10:53.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,OK, maybe not ride.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:53.46,0:10:55.66,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Crush.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:55.66,0:11:00.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That is a rabbit costume.\NA Dutchman wearing a rabbit costume.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:00.58,0:11:05.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,DUTCH ACCENT: "OK, I am wearing\Na saddle and it's time to go."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:05.86,0:11:07.26,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I love rabbits.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:07.26,0:11:09.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, my...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:09.26,0:11:12.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,"Wow, I am thinking maybe I should\Nhave had a smaller celebrity."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:14.50,0:11:17.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So, yes, many animals\Ncan be put into a trance,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:17.34,0:11:21.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's probably better\Nto practise on the ones\Nlower down the food chain first.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:21.94,0:11:25.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You're at death's door.\NWhy is your whole life\Nflashing before your eyes?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:25.90,0:11:28.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it...? 'Very sleepy.'
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:28.10,0:11:32.90,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it the influence of\Nthe early-'80s film Flash Gordon
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:32.90,0:11:40.22,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,where Dr Zarkov,\Nplayed by Topol, has his...\NThey try to empty his brain.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:40.22,0:11:44.78,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a myth that it ever happened\Nbefore Flash Gordon.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:44.78,0:11:47.86,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Since we saw Topol,\Nsince we saw it happen to him,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:47.86,0:11:50.42,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,that's what we all think\Nwill happen.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:50.42,0:11:52.58,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,That's my...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:52.58,0:11:53.74,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,theory.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:53.74,0:11:55.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I love it. ALAN: Hard to disprove.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:55.62,0:11:58.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's hard to disprove except
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:58.06,0:12:02.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,in quoting a letter\Nfrom Admiral Beaufort,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:02.86,0:12:04.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,who gave us the Beaufort Scale.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:04.58,0:12:07.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Jiffy Beaufort?\NRear Admiral Sir Francis Beaufort.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:07.62,0:12:11.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He had a narrow escape from drowning\Nin Portsmouth harbour in 1795.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:11.62,0:12:16.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He saw everything.\N"Each circumstance associated with\Nhome were the first reflections.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:16.26,0:12:19.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"They took a wider range - our\Nlast cruise, a former shipwreck,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:19.58,0:12:22.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"my school and boyish pursuits\Nand adventures.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:22.10,0:12:26.42,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"Every past incident of my life\Nseemed to glance across\Nmy recollection
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:26.42,0:12:30.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"in retrograde succession\Nin minutest detail."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:30.14,0:12:34.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There are many examples\Nof people talking about it,\Nso why do we think this happens?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:34.70,0:12:39.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it some sort of panic response?\NIt's just like the brain\Njust downloads everything.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:39.70,0:12:44.54,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes... It's doing your best bits.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:44.54,0:12:46.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Doing your best bits?\NJust prior to...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:46.54,0:12:49.78,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a montage. Maybe it's\Nyour brain trying to find
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:49.78,0:12:53.42,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,a piece of your life that can help\Nyou in your present situation.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:53.42,0:12:57.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, very good, Ronni, that is the\Ncurrent and most convincing theory
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:57.34,0:13:00.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,that if you are in\Na crisis situation, your brain,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:00.18,0:13:05.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,which registers almost everything\Nthat happens to you in your life - \Nnot always consciously, it goes in -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:05.38,0:13:11.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and something weird happens and it\Nplays back all the incidents of your\Nlife to find a match, as it were.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:11.14,0:13:13.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,This happened and then this.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:13.26,0:13:17.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a recent case of a man who\Nwas attacked by a great white shark.\NHe was about to die
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:17.90,0:13:21.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and he remembered a DVD his son\Nhad been watching years before
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:21.58,0:13:23.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,in which someone said,\Nif a shark comes,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:23.98,0:13:28.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,plunge your hands into the gills and\Nhe did that and he saved himself.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:28.58,0:13:33.10,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,It's quite risky though,\Nif you're on the brink of death\Nand you're re-running
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:33.10,0:13:36.70,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,and you're like,\N"No, not my Dad's 70th birthday!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:36.70,0:13:37.94,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"No, not that time!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:37.94,0:13:43.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Probably nowadays...\NThe point is, I think,\Nif you're a doctor or a fireman
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:43.46,0:13:45.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,or something with\Na level of expertise,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:45.62,0:13:49.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,you're in a bad situation, all\Nkinds of similar scenarios play out
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:49.30,0:13:53.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and with what seems to be\Nuncanny instinct you say,\N"We need to do this."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:53.86,0:13:57.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes even before the event,\Nbefore the building has fallen,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:57.62,0:14:00.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,because you've been in buildings\Nwhere things have fallen.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:00.70,0:14:05.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You've unconsciously registered\Na creak, a bending of the wall\Nand you say, "Get out!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:05.14,0:14:10.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But the point is, when you're\Ndying or drowning, there is nothing,\Nso your brain just dumps everything.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:10.70,0:14:14.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It tries every scenario\Nthat seems mismatched\Nand people genuinely get...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:14.58,0:14:19.62,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,It'd be handy if you get to\Nthe end of your life flashing before\Nyour eyes and this woman says,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:19.62,0:14:23.78,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"And now that life is available\Nto watch on BBC iPlayer."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:23.78,0:14:27.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Or if you lose your keys, just\Nput your face down in the basin,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:27.02,0:14:32.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,start drowning yourself until you\Nget to the point you last had them.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:32.58,0:14:34.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It might work.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:34.90,0:14:37.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:37.22,0:14:42.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It would be terrible if you're\Ndrowning and then it's Topol's life.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:42.58,0:14:45.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. That would be someone\Nelse's life. "Oh, no, Fiddler?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:45.74,0:14:47.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,"I wasn't in Fiddler."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:47.10,0:14:51.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,IMPERSONATES BRIAN BLESSED: Or Brian\NBlessed on the birds in the trees.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:51.70,0:14:55.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,IMPERSONATES BRIAN BLESSED: I've\Nbeen up Everest, you know.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:55.38,0:14:57.10,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you think with rising crime,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:57.10,0:15:00.90,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,that death's door has become\Nmore security-conscious?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:02.38,0:15:04.90,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you think they've got\Nan entry phone
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:04.90,0:15:06.74,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,or a couple of bouncers going,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:06.74,0:15:09.98,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well, we used to be able\Nto leave death's doors open
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:09.98,0:15:13.18,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"but now we have kids coming in,\Nnicking bodies, drinking."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:13.18,0:15:18.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You see people sitting forlornly\Non Death Avenue saying, "I put\Nthe wrong number in three times.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:18.90,0:15:24.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"I've got to wait an hour\Nbefore it accepts my next input."\NIt's possible.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:24.02,0:15:27.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You wouldn't mind being turned away\Nthough. Possibly not.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:27.38,0:15:31.42,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,In many languages,\Nthere's a phrase for\Nyour life flashing before your eyes,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:31.42,0:15:33.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,showing the prevalence of the idea.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:33.34,0:15:36.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Persian, Portuguese, Italian,\NRussian, German, Norwegian,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:36.18,0:15:38.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Romanian, Spanish, Swedish,\NArabian, Dutch and French.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:38.86,0:15:41.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So it seems to be a common\Nphenomenon and may be explicable.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:41.98,0:15:45.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It seems people's lives do\Nflash before their eyes in a crisis
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:45.18,0:15:47.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,though it doesn't normally\Ndo much good.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:47.38,0:15:50.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe it's hypnotherapy you need,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:50.54,0:15:56.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,so why not consult Zoe D Katze,\NPhD, CHt, DAPA?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:56.38,0:15:58.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a pretty good series of...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:58.58,0:16:00.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I would say...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:00.90,0:16:02.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Anagrams. Hell of an anagram.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:02.82,0:16:05.10,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Is she invisible?\NThere's nobody there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:05.10,0:16:06.58,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,'Your eyelids are heavy.'
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:06.58,0:16:10.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Is she an animal hypnotherapist?\NShe is an animal hypnotherapist.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:10.62,0:16:11.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,She's a cat.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:11.90,0:16:15.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Eh?! Zoe D Katze is a cat\Nwith a PhD,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:15.90,0:16:18.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,a CHt and that diploma.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:18.14,0:16:20.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:21.46,0:16:24.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, Zoe! I think Oscar\Nis sitting opposite her.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:24.86,0:16:28.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a man called Steve Eichel\Nwho is an academic
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:28.22,0:16:31.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,who wanted to demonstrate the ease\Nwith which you can get
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:31.74,0:16:38.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,a doctorate online or any of these\Napparently important professional
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:38.30,0:16:41.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Hypnotherapy Association\Nqualifications,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:41.62,0:16:45.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,all of which were given to a cat.\NOh, great.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:45.02,0:16:49.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The point is once you get one,\Nyou can use the others to parlay
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:49.62,0:16:51.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,until you get a whole list of them.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:51.74,0:16:55.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,She has a doctorate\Nin counselling psychology\Nfrom a mail-order university
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:55.94,0:16:58.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and the CHt is\Na certified hypnotherapist -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:58.74,0:17:01.42,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,in the National Guild Of Hypnotists,\Nno less -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:01.42,0:17:05.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and the DAPA is a Diplomat of the\NAmerican Psychotherapy Association,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:05.70,0:17:10.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,both qualifications which are\Nsupposed to connote genuine\Nprofessional standing.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:10.94,0:17:17.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There you are, do be on the lookout,\Ngentlemen and ladies, when you go to\Nsee them. If you can get a cat...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:17.54,0:17:19.86,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, my cat's only got a BA!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:19.86,0:17:20.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:20.98,0:17:23.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It is astonishing, isn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:23.50,0:17:26.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There are also what are called\Ndiploma mills and degree mills,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:26.90,0:17:32.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,which give out either a fake\Ndiploma from a real university
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:32.14,0:17:35.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,or, as it were, a real one from\Na fake college that doesn't exist,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:35.98,0:17:39.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,like they make up one\Nthat says "Christ's College, Oxford"\Nor something.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:39.90,0:17:43.54,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Are those hats falling from the sky\Nor are there hands beneath them?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:43.54,0:17:48.54,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,There are. Is that how you\Nget your hat? They're dropped out of\Na plane and you have to catch one?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:48.54,0:17:51.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Throw it in the air at your\Nexcitement of having got a degree.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:51.74,0:17:55.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I like to think that underneath\Nthat photo there's about 60 cats.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:56.10,0:17:57.30,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Miaow!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:57.30,0:18:00.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The thing is, that if you were a cat,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:00.34,0:18:04.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,because of the tassels, you wouldn't\Nleave them alone, would you?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:13.90,0:18:18.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I've got diplomas for all of you.\NAlan, you can put that on the wall.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:18.02,0:18:19.14,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,ABSO?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:19.14,0:18:22.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Ronni, ABSO. That's a QI award.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:22.30,0:18:25.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Academy of Advanced Banter.\NIt actually has...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:25.34,0:18:29.46,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you get letters from\Nthe American Biographer's\NAssociation or something?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:29.46,0:18:35.10,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,And they say, "You have\Nbeen selected as one of\Nthe men of the year..."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:35.10,0:18:40.14,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, it's a scam. "..by the\NAmerican Biographer's Association\Nfor expertise in your field."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:40.14,0:18:43.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,All you have to do is pay 700.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:43.30,0:18:47.66,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,And it says, yes, "If you would\Nsend 695, we'll send you a plaque."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:47.66,0:18:49.50,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I've got 12.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:49.50,0:18:53.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER\NWell, there you are, yes,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:53.26,0:18:55.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,pseudo-credentialing,\Nit's a big issue.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:55.54,0:18:59.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Other qualifications which the same\NEichel who gave Zoe the cat her...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:59.86,0:19:02.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,or managed to get her\Nthese qualifications,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:02.62,0:19:05.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,he found energy therapist\Nqualifications easily got,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:05.94,0:19:09.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,past-life regression therapist\Nand alien abduction therapist.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:12.06,0:19:14.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That's sad.\NI want to do that course.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:14.34,0:19:18.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes. I'm going to get\Na guinea pig and make it\Nan alien abduction therapist.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:18.98,0:19:20.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Show me where they probed you.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:22.50,0:19:24.18,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"Are you qualified to do that?"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:24.18,0:19:26.58,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yes, I am."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:26.58,0:19:30.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, the Zoe the cat is a cat, but\Nthat doesn't make her a bad person.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:30.06,0:19:34.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I need your help.\NHow can we persuade the audience\Nto elect me Pope
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:34.98,0:19:37.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,without them noticing\Nthat we've done it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:41.42,0:19:42.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's odd.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:42.74,0:19:44.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's wrong.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:47.74,0:19:49.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,My hand is not that liver-spotted!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:49.54,0:19:51.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm having that.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:51.78,0:19:54.98,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,You wouldn't wear such cheap\Ncassocks either.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:54.98,0:19:57.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I wouldn't either.\NNo, that's so odd.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:57.70,0:19:59.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Is there a technique?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:59.30,0:20:02.66,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Suppose I wanted to sell\Nthem something without telling them.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:02.66,0:20:05.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Some sort of mass suggestion.\NSubliminal advertising.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:05.90,0:20:07.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Subliminal advertising...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:07.38,0:20:10.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,KLAXON BLARES
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:10.70,0:20:13.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Horribly cruel of me\Nto try and pull it out of you
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:13.18,0:20:14.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and then punish you for it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:14.82,0:20:20.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No, the fact is, subliminal\Nadvertising has never been\Nshown to work, it's a complete myth.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:20.54,0:20:25.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Although it's banned by\Nmost broadcasting authorities \Nand the FCC in America,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:25.06,0:20:27.42,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not actually\Never been shown to work.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:27.42,0:20:31.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, the person\Nwho invented it in 1957 -\Na man called Vicary - in 1962
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:31.62,0:20:33.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,he admitted he'd\Nfalsified the evidence.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:33.90,0:20:37.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He claimed he'd used it and sold\Nlots of cola and burgers
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:37.30,0:20:41.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,by putting in a flash frame,\Na single frame\Nout of 24 frames a second.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:41.46,0:20:44.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously the eye doesn't\Nconsciously register...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:44.34,0:20:46.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:46.34,0:20:50.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It just hasn't been shown to work.\NI remember they did one\Nin the Young Ones.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:50.18,0:20:53.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They did it all the time\Nin the Young Ones. Yes, they did.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:53.18,0:20:56.70,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like going back to my childhood\Nand I'm remembering it all now.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:56.70,0:20:58.10,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Your childhood?! Well...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:58.10,0:21:01.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, Ronni, deal with it.\NLAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:01.66,0:21:06.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway, sound -\Ndo we know any stories\Nof audio subliminal messages?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:06.22,0:21:13.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, the court cases about\N"backward masking" they call it,\Nwhich is, you know, satanic messages.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:13.94,0:21:17.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Judas Priest. Yes, perhaps the most\Nalarming story was two boys
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:17.30,0:21:19.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,who committed suicide,\Nor attempted suicide,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:19.82,0:21:23.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and their parents took Judas Priest\Nto court. They did.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:23.30,0:21:26.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know what the message\Nwas supposedly in the track?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:26.18,0:21:31.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It was... "Do it, do it now."\N"Do it, do it now." Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:31.18,0:21:35.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So Halford, as part of the court\Ncase, went in with a load of records
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:35.42,0:21:40.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and played them backwards\Nand then just read out\Na list of things you could hear
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:40.50,0:21:43.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,in records when played\Nbackwards just to show how...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:43.46,0:21:46.42,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He also said, "I don't wish\Nto paint myself as greedy,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:46.42,0:21:51.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"but if we were going to put a\Nmessage in it would be, 'Buy more\Nof our records.'" He also said,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:51.14,0:21:53.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"Do it doesn't mean kill yourself."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:53.74,0:21:57.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Stephen, the song WAS called\NSuicide Solution. Oh, was it? Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:03.54,0:22:06.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Finally, being in a pop quiz\Npays off!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:06.38,0:22:11.30,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They say that you can put things\Nunder your pillow,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:11.30,0:22:17.14,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,like students have lectures\Non tapes and they put them under\Nthe pillow and while you're asleep.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:17.14,0:22:20.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, hypnopaedia, it is called.\NI know it sounds...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:20.86,0:22:23.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,like interfering with a child\Nwhile they sleep.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:23.46,0:22:25.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,"We thought it was one of\Nthem hypnophiles."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:25.90,0:22:32.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, paedia as in Wikipedia and\Nencyclopaedia, as in learning,\Nand hypno as in sleep.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:32.02,0:22:36.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There are pillows you can buy now\Nthat actually have speakers built
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:36.18,0:22:40.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,into them, but frankly, there is no\Nreal evidence that it works in terms
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:40.22,0:22:43.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,of what's being taught, but if you\Nsell someone classical music
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:43.86,0:22:48.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and say, "Contains subliminal music\Nthat will increase your\Nself-confidence,"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:48.82,0:22:52.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,it is shown that that will work,\Neven if it's just the music.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:52.18,0:22:56.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Back to self-hypnosis,\Nif you bang your head on the pillow\Nthe number of times...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:56.90,0:22:59.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know, weirdly,\NI found that worked.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:59.22,0:23:04.66,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,At prep school, I used to do that\Nto get up early to raid the kitchen\Nand things like that and do stuff.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:04.66,0:23:07.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,What did the banging...\NIf you want to wake up at 4am,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:07.54,0:23:10.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,you bang your head four times\Non the pillow.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:10.14,0:23:12.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Or you have a child.\NIt sounds mad...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:12.30,0:23:18.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Or you have a child, obviously.\NIt's just the power of suggestion,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:18.54,0:23:24.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,this is the thing, isn't it? But also\Nhypnosis is if you keep telling\Nyourself something will happen...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:24.34,0:23:28.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, a self-fulfilling prophecy.\NYes, it's kind of like\Nautohypnosis, isn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:28.58,0:23:30.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It kind of is, yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:30.34,0:23:36.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Other subliminal images have been\Nseen, Lenin, for example, was seen\Nby some in the Labour Party rose,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:36.38,0:23:39.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know if you can there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:41.66,0:23:45.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's someone from Planet of the\NApes. It's more like that, isn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:45.90,0:23:50.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But there we are. So, yes,\Nsubliminal advertising doesn't...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:50.58,0:23:53.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,work. Seriously though,\NI'd be very pleased.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:53.70,0:23:57.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway, what kind of behaviour\Nwould you expect from\Na superstitious pigeon?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:57.98,0:24:04.74,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,They always wear their feathers\Nin exactly the same colour and\Nexactly the same order every day.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:04.74,0:24:09.66,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, it is just that sort of\Nsuperstition that pigeons have\Nbeen found to exhibit.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:09.66,0:24:15.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's quite interesting, a very\Nwell-known American psychiatrist\Ncalled B F Skinner,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:15.54,0:24:20.42,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,he found that if you feed pigeons\Nat predetermined intervals,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:20.42,0:24:24.42,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,the pigeons, because they can't\Npredict when the food is coming,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:24.42,0:24:28.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,they seem to register what they were\Ndoing at the time the food arrived
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:28.86,0:24:33.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and repeat the action to make\Nthe food come next time,\Nwhich is a very human thing.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:33.54,0:24:36.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like humans blowing on dice\Nbefore a game of craps.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:36.94,0:24:42.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They would walk in anti-clockwise\Ncircles because maybe twice\Nthey were walking anticlockwise
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:42.30,0:24:46.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,when the food arrived and they think\Nthat must be why the food comes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:46.06,0:24:49.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's not superstitious, that's\Njust hopeful. It's superstitious.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:49.82,0:24:53.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Last time I won this game,\NI was wearing one red sock\Nand one blue, so I'll wear
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:53.82,0:24:57.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,a red sock and a blue sock again,\Nsportsmen do it all the time.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:57.10,0:25:01.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They repeat actions\Nthat happened before... \NPeople do it all the time.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:01.46,0:25:06.34,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,It's called magical thinking,\Nwhere you think you're having an\Neffect on the world. Exactly.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:06.34,0:25:07.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And you're not. You're not.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:07.90,0:25:13.66,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't watch this match because\Nthe last round, I didn't watch\Nand we won.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:13.66,0:25:18.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Or I was standing up when England\Nscored a goal, so I've got to stand\Nup for the rest of the match.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:18.86,0:25:24.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to go to the toilet now,\Nwe'll definitely score.\NAll that. We do it all the time.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:24.86,0:25:29.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,My uncle, when he lights a cigar,\Nwe always score. Yes, it happens\Nto all of us.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:29.10,0:25:32.86,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They're all dead now,\Nbecause I killed them.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:32.86,0:25:38.06,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,It's almost like a form\Nof megalomania, isn't it,\Nin a bizarre sort of way.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:38.06,0:25:42.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That we could possibly affect\Nthe outcome. Yes. That is\Nthe nature of superstition.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:42.46,0:25:44.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's quite hard, it has to be said,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:44.54,0:25:49.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,to find any definition\Nof superstition that doesn't also\Ncover religion.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:49.26,0:25:54.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It makes the same promises, the same\Nsuggestions of individual actions...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:54.30,0:25:56.42,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,You convince yourself\Nyou're involved
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:56.42,0:26:01.98,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,in the world somehow -\Nif I wear my lucky scarf,\Nthen I'm really in the game.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:01.98,0:26:06.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And you're just wearing a scarf.\NYes, that's right, it is.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:06.86,0:26:11.42,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And each religion will regard\Nother religions as superstition\Nand theirs as not being.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:11.42,0:26:13.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I am religious,\Nyou are superstitious.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:13.54,0:26:17.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,In the Catholic Church, it is a sin\Nto be superstitious.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:17.06,0:26:21.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You'll change that when you're Pope.\NI'll change that when I'm Pope, yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:21.62,0:26:23.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE\NNo, no, stop.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:23.82,0:26:28.26,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,What are we going to do\Nwith the gold?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:28.26,0:26:36.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,"And as Pope Stephen walks out onto\Nthe balcony, underneath the ladder,\Nwith several black cats..."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:36.14,0:26:40.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,American psychologist B F Skinner\Nmanaged to train pigeons\Nto be superstitious
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:40.38,0:26:45.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,by giving them arbitrary food\Nrewards and keeping his fingers\Ncrossed, and best of luck to him.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:45.22,0:26:49.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, what's hysterical about\Nwandering womb trouble?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:49.54,0:26:54.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Wandering womb. Hysterical as in,\Nthat's Janet Leigh in Psycho.\NIt certainly is.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:54.78,0:26:59.62,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,But she didn't have a wandering\Nwomb, she was being stabbed\Nto death by a maniac. She was.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:59.62,0:27:05.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,She was hysterical for a very good\Nreason. Yes. What does hysterical\Nmean? Where does the word come from?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:05.14,0:27:06.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,'You're feeling sleepy.'
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:06.74,0:27:10.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I think this is something to do\Nwith hysterectomies. Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:10.46,0:27:12.54,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Originally...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:12.54,0:27:16.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The Greek word for uterus\Nis hystera, so the word hysteria?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:16.62,0:27:20.38,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, it was Hippocrates also\Nwho thought
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:20.38,0:27:28.22,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,that there was a correlation between\Nmental unbalance and the womb\Nbecoming wandering around the body.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:28.22,0:27:31.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He thought the womb, like an animal,\Nmoved around the female body.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:31.78,0:27:36.26,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I've got a very good female friend\Nwho's a gynaecologist\Nwho was telling me.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:36.26,0:27:38.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That is how the word hysteria\Ncame about,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:38.50,0:27:42.66,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,it was associated entirely\Nwith women from the same root\Nas hysterectomy.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:42.66,0:27:48.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,She's hysterical, slap her! Yes,\Nslap her, that was the attitude that\Nmen had towards women's illnesses or
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:48.38,0:27:54.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,particularly neuroses, that somehow\Nit was to do with them being women,\Nand women of a certain age
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:54.06,0:27:59.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,were associated with all kinds\Nof what were called hysterias,\Nhysterical responses.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:59.22,0:28:02.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But it was Freud who said\Nthat almost
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:02.06,0:28:07.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,for every real condition,\Nyou might have a hysterical version\Nwhich was created by the mind,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:07.06,0:28:10.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,but it was as real, it wasn't\Nfeigned, that's the point.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:10.18,0:28:15.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,This was before hysterical became\Na synonym for hilarious? Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:15.46,0:28:20.70,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"You have a hysterical condition."\N"Well, it doesn't feel\Nvery hysterical to me!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:20.70,0:28:25.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But there is such a thing as\Nhysterical blindness and muteness,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:25.58,0:28:32.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,people will lose the ability to see,\Nalthough physically there is nothing\Nwrong with their eyes at all.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:32.02,0:28:34.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So, what about Hitler?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:34.34,0:28:36.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,What about Hitler?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:36.10,0:28:39.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Leave Hitler alone. Week after week,\Nyou have a go at Hitler.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:39.58,0:28:44.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Do we know about Hitler\Nand blindness? I mean,\Nhe's not blind there, obviously.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:44.02,0:28:48.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But do you know any stories\Nabout his blindness?\NNo. I thought he was colour blind.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:48.46,0:28:54.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,In the First World War, after a gas\Nattack, he apparently went blind\Nand dumb for some time.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:54.30,0:28:56.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That was close, wasn't it? Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:56.98,0:28:59.66,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Someone else would have\Ntaken his place.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:59.66,0:29:02.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It was in hospital, during that,\Nthat he had a vision
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:02.38,0:29:05.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,that he would lead Germany\Nto greatness, unfortunately.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:05.46,0:29:09.30,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's quite interesting... \NThat went very well, didn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:09.30,0:29:12.82,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't listen to visions\Nwhen you've just had a gas attack.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:12.82,0:29:16.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes. Wouldn't it be terrible\Nif that was an evil Labrador,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:16.78,0:29:20.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,like Oscar, and it just said,\N"You will rule the world!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:22.14,0:29:23.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Hypno-dog. Hypno-dog, yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:23.70,0:29:26.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,An American psychiatrist called\NWalter Langer wrote a report
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:26.98,0:29:29.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,on Hitler during the war\Nand it was quite interesting.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:29.86,0:29:33.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He said both that he thought\Nit was hysterical blindness\Nand speechlessness,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:33.98,0:29:39.66,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,they were definitely that,\Nbut also predicted - this is\Na Freudian analysis -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:39.66,0:29:46.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,that in Hitler's symbolic vision,\Nas it were, Austria is his father\Nin 1914, old, exhausted, dying,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:46.26,0:29:52.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and Germany is his symbolic mother,\Nyoung, vigorous, married to\NAustria and about to be violated.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:52.18,0:29:56.66,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Whatever you make of this,\Nit is undoubtedly the case\Nthat unlike almost all Germans,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:29:56.66,0:30:02.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Hitler called Germany Mutterland,\Nnot Vaterland.\NMotherland, not Fatherland.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:02.22,0:30:07.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Langer went on to say that the most\Nlikely outcome of Hitler's life \Nwas that he would
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:07.70,0:30:11.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,commit suicide, probably, he said,\Nin a symbolic womb,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:11.50,0:30:14.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,which is quite an impressive piece\Nof prophecy.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:14.30,0:30:18.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe there is something in\Nthis Freudian lark after all.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:18.54,0:30:22.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway, hysteria, as Ronni rightly\Nknew, used to be attributed
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:22.02,0:30:25.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,to the womb roaming about the body,\Ninterfering with other organs.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:25.50,0:30:29.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Doctors thought it would cause\Nanything from a nervous breakdown\Nto blindness.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:29.10,0:30:34.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Now a question which will test\Nyour reflexes. Watch the film here\Nof the setting sun.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:34.22,0:30:39.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,All I want you to do is to hit\Nyour buzzer at the moment the sun\Nhas dropped below the horizon.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:41.46,0:30:42.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's speeded up, obviously.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:50.34,0:30:52.02,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,'Eyelids are heavy.'
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:52.02,0:30:53.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You got there first.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:53.22,0:30:56.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,KLAXON
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:30:56.42,0:31:00.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well too late! Well too late!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:00.98,0:31:04.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That is the moment at which\Nthe sun is below the horizon.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:04.94,0:31:07.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What we see is a mirage.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:07.78,0:31:09.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I know it sounds crazy,\Nbut it's true.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:09.86,0:31:12.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You're looking at me as if to say...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:12.38,0:31:14.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Is this to do with how far away\Nit is? It's to do with
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:14.90,0:31:19.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,the bending of light and the eye\Nnot accepting it, but it is\Ngenuinely below the horizon.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:19.50,0:31:25.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Physically, the Earth has turned\Nsuch that it is not there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:26.70,0:31:30.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I know you're looking very cross\Nand "That can't be true!" about it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:30.94,0:31:33.86,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a film of it, though.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:33.86,0:31:40.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I know, but you can get thermal\Nmirages and there's nothing there,\Non the roadside, water puddles.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:40.30,0:31:42.54,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,You get rainbows\Nand they're not there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:42.54,0:31:47.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a photograph, but it's not\Nthere. There's no water there,\Nit's just air.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:47.02,0:31:52.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll try and explain. Light from\Nthe setting sun passes through our\Natmosphere at a shallow angle
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:52.06,0:31:54.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and gradually bends\Nas the air density increases,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:54.94,0:31:59.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,not dissimilar to the image\Nof your legs in a swimming pool.\NThe effect artificially raises
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:31:59.70,0:32:03.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,the sun in the last few minutes\Nof its decline, and by coincidence,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:03.02,0:32:07.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,the amount of bending is pretty much\Nequal to the diameter of the sun.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:07.54,0:32:12.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's exactly as it's there,\Nbut it's actually disappeared.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:12.62,0:32:17.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I hate this show. Oh, Phill!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:17.62,0:32:22.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Be interested, please. \NThe sun is there. I know.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:22.34,0:32:24.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And you're like, "No."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:25.58,0:32:32.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,"It's the sun!"\N"Not there. Mirage."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:32.90,0:32:35.14,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you ever seen a mirage?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:35.14,0:32:41.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes. Where? Travelling through\Nthe desert in America,\Nyou see them all the time.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:41.02,0:32:46.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The standard ones in the roads.\NWhat appear to be huge puddles of\Nshimmering lakes of water,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:46.06,0:32:49.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,which are not there. You must have\Nseen those in the roads.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:49.58,0:32:52.90,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, but I grew up in Scotland,\Nand they are there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:32:57.14,0:33:03.54,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Fair enough. In New Zealand, you get\Nquite bad sunstrike off the roads,\Ncauses accidents.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:03.54,0:33:05.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And what does that entail?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:05.02,0:33:09.50,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Because New Zealand is so low on\Nthe planet, if you see what I mean,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:09.50,0:33:13.98,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,and the sun comes through quite\Na lot of atmosphere to get to it,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:13.98,0:33:19.34,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,and the angle of it when it hits\Nthe road causes a lot of blindness\Nin the eyes of drivers.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:19.34,0:33:23.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Right. I daresay that the drivers\Nin New Zealand, as they see
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:23.14,0:33:29.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,the sun setting, are reassured\Nto know that it's not there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:34.22,0:33:38.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:38.22,0:33:42.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, the fact is that despite\NPhill's reluctance to understand it,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:42.26,0:33:45.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,that the setting sun is actually\Nbelow the horizon the moment
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:45.90,0:33:48.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,that its lower edge\Nseems to touch the sea.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:48.18,0:33:52.42,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So to the place where everything\Nyou think you know proves\Nto be an illusion,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:52.42,0:33:56.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,the nightmare that we call\NGeneral Ignorance.\NFingers on buzzers, please.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:56.38,0:33:58.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What shape is this staircase?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:33:58.46,0:34:00.02,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,'Eyelids are heavy.'
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:00.02,0:34:02.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, Phill. It's not there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:03.46,0:34:05.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, Phill!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:05.18,0:34:08.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:11.46,0:34:13.34,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,'Very sleepy.'
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:13.34,0:34:15.18,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Spiral.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:15.18,0:34:18.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,KLAXON
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:19.10,0:34:21.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm very happy for you.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:21.22,0:34:23.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,'Eyelids are heavy.' It is a helix?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:23.58,0:34:26.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, it's helical,\Nwell done, exactly right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:26.14,0:34:31.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's terribly pedantic, but a spiral\Nis when it gets bigger and bigger\Nand wider and wider,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:31.34,0:34:36.10,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,and a helix, it stays the same,\Nas a staircase does. (I knew that!)
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:36.10,0:34:38.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But you just wanted the forfeit,\Ndidn't you? Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:38.86,0:34:42.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Very well, so what's that?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:42.02,0:34:45.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,A double helix. A double helix,\Nexactly, and that is?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:45.10,0:34:49.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That is... What is that? Tell me\Nwhat animal that is, Stephen.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:49.26,0:34:53.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't tell you by looking\Nat it, I'm afraid. \NThat is a Hypno-Labrador.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:34:53.38,0:35:00.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,DNA. We've got a lot of it in our\Nbodies. If it was all stretched out,\Nhow far would it reach?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:00.14,0:35:02.82,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it something mega,\Nlike to the moon and back?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:02.82,0:35:06.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's so much more mega.\NA tenth of a light year,\Noutside the solar system,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:06.62,0:35:08.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,that's how long that much of it is,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:08.46,0:35:15.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,50 trillion cells, 23 chromosomes\Nper cell, 220 million base pairs\Nper chromosome.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:15.22,0:35:21.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That really does kick the "If you get\Nyour skin out, it's half a tennis\Ncourt" in the knackers, doesn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:21.50,0:35:24.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Half a light year... a tennis court.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:24.14,0:35:27.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So do you know about the\NArgentine blue bill or lake duck?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:27.70,0:35:31.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It has a part of his body\Nthat is corkscrew shaped. Is it\Ngoing to be its neck?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:31.70,0:35:33.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not going to be its neck.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:33.78,0:35:36.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Legs? Nor its legs. It's its penis.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:36.70,0:35:40.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There are quite a few animals\Nthat have spiral penises.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:40.62,0:35:43.50,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,When it procreates, does it kind of\Nspin in like a screw?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:46.90,0:35:52.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,If push comes to shove and you're in\NArgentina with a bottle of Merlot...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:52.02,0:35:55.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:35:55.62,0:36:02.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,A very decent... It's a win double,\Nbecause you get your wine out
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:02.10,0:36:05.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and you get a pleasured duck.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:05.42,0:36:10.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,HE QUACKS LOUDLY
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:10.74,0:36:13.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, this is corked.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:13.34,0:36:16.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Then you ask the wine waiter\Nto bring you the bill.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:21.94,0:36:28.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Not only does it have a corkscrew,\Nit has the longest penis, relative\Nto its body size, of any vertebrate.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:28.02,0:36:32.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the length of its whole body.\NDid you know that or did\Nthe duck tell you?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:35.26,0:36:39.82,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"It's as long as I am."\NWhat about the earwig, hasn't\Nthe earwig got a penis?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:39.82,0:36:44.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The earwig doesn't have a brush\Nat the end of its penis like that\Nanimal does. A brush? A brush.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:44.58,0:36:51.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow, it can clean up after! \NWhat do you think the brush is for?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:51.46,0:36:53.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Brushing down the curtains.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:53.66,0:36:56.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What you think the brush is for\Non the lake duck's penis?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:56.58,0:36:58.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What is the one aim of\Nthe male of the species?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:36:58.94,0:37:02.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,For brushing the feathers out of\Nthe way of the lady duck's doodah?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:02.86,0:37:05.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No, what is the purpose\Nof the male's...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:05.70,0:37:10.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry, the lady duck's punani.\NReleasing spermatozoa into the...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:10.18,0:37:15.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Releasing yours. Oh, right. \NNot anybody else's, that's why\Nmales fight with other males.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:15.26,0:37:20.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So the brush is to remove any sperm\Nfrom the previous drake who may\Nhave been there. No, stop it!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:20.54,0:37:26.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So you clean out the previous sperm,\Nso it's yours...\NA little spring clean!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:29.38,0:37:34.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And the weird thing, even weirder,\Nis the lady duck,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:34.22,0:37:41.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,her vagina is corkscrewed, but it's\Ncorkscrewed in the opposite way.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:41.90,0:37:47.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,"I can't believe it, a left-hand\Nthread at this time of the night!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:47.78,0:37:52.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It is quite astonishing,\Nisn't it, it really is.\NI feel bad talking about it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:52.10,0:37:57.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And you know the other thing,\NStephen? Male duck's imperial,\Nlady duck's metric. Nightmare!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:37:57.70,0:38:02.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So true. Ridiculous.\NThere you are, nature.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:02.30,0:38:08.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Wonderful nature. So, strictly\Nspeaking, a spiral staircase\Nis actually helical.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:08.06,0:38:12.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So why are there so many lavatories\Nin the Pentagon?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:12.58,0:38:15.42,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Er, one each?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:15.42,0:38:18.98,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know how many people work\Nin the Pentagon? Thousands.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:18.98,0:38:20.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,23,000.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:20.62,0:38:25.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There aren't 23,000 lavatories,\Nso, no, I'm afraid it's a really\Nghastly reason.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:25.46,0:38:27.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Where is it? Virginia.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:27.98,0:38:33.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Virginia is a southern state\Nand it had laws, not nice laws.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:33.54,0:38:39.42,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, no. Segregation. By law,\Nyou had to have one lavatory\Nfor white people
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:39.42,0:38:42.42,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and one for black people,\Nso there were double the number.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:42.42,0:38:45.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm afraid it's true,\Nit's a horrible truth.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:45.02,0:38:49.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It shouldn't have happened,\Nbecause it was built in the '40s\Nunder the presidency of FDR,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:49.14,0:38:54.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,who had specifically outlawed\Nracial segregation in federal...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:54.54,0:38:58.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,he couldn't legislate for the states\Nbut he could say that no\Nfederal building...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:38:58.82,0:39:01.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So when he arrived for his first\Ninspection, he was told,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:01.74,0:39:04.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,he was furious that there were\Nall these lavatories.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:04.94,0:39:09.94,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, it's not very PC, it's true,\Nbut have you ever been\Nfor a queue in the ladies' loo?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:09.94,0:39:13.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's nice for you that there\Nare so many, yes. You racist.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:16.42,0:39:19.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But although they built them all\Nfor that reason,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:19.26,0:39:22.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,they were banned from using it and\Nthey were never racially segregated.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:22.90,0:39:25.62,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Look at all the tennis courts\Nthey've got as well.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:25.62,0:39:31.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That centre bit alone, just to give\Nyou a sense of the scale of it,\Nis five acres, just the middle bit.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:31.14,0:39:38.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,17 and a half miles of corridor,\Nat least 284 lavatories,\Nsix separate zip codes,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:38.30,0:39:45.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,just the Pentagon, but apparently,\Nit takes only seven minutes to walk\Nfrom one place to another.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:45.38,0:39:46.94,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Only one cleaner, they have.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:46.94,0:39:53.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, poor darling. Racial\Nsegregation in Britain, did it ever\Nhappen in the Second World War?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:53.98,0:39:57.66,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I assume yes,\Njudging by the leading question.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:39:57.66,0:40:00.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,For one reason only.\NBecause of the Americans.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:00.42,0:40:06.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Because of the Americans and in fact\Nit is at least something we can be\Nvaguely proud of, is that
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:06.26,0:40:11.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,the Americans in the bases who used\Npubs insisted that they had pubs\Nfor whites and blacks only
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:11.06,0:40:14.94,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and the British public said, no,\Nwe're not going to do that.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:14.94,0:40:18.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,White Americans would come in and\Nsee black people and start fights
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:18.26,0:40:22.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and the British would fight\Nwith the blacks against them. \NWe thought it was intolerable.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:22.90,0:40:26.34,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,There were propaganda films\Nthat they showed American GIs
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:26.34,0:40:29.66,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,who were going to be stationed\Nover here before they came,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:29.66,0:40:33.26,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,with a little old lady coming into\Na railway carriage
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:33.26,0:40:36.74,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,and there is a black GI\Nand a white GI and she says,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:36.74,0:40:40.50,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, you must come round\Nfor some tea, both of you."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:40.50,0:40:46.34,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,And the voice-over is, "This would\Nnever happen in our country, but\Nyou will have to be prepared."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:46.34,0:40:50.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And they were preparing GIs...\NThat the British would invite\Nblack people...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:50.66,0:40:53.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes. Preparing them\Nfor the horrors of tea.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:53.66,0:40:59.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's rather eye-watering to think\Nthat in our parents' lifetimes,\Nsuch a thing might have happened.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:40:59.46,0:41:05.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,"You may be offered buns." Yes.\N"These are safe to eat."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:05.14,0:41:08.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway, they built twice as many\Nrestrooms as they needed
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:08.30,0:41:11.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,in the Pentagon so they could keep\Nthem racially segregated.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:11.62,0:41:15.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Name something invented\Nby Vyacheslav Molotov.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:15.46,0:41:18.38,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,'Very sleepy.'
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:18.38,0:41:20.38,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,A Molotov cocktail.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:20.38,0:41:21.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:21.82,0:41:25.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,KLAXON
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:29.30,0:41:32.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He didn't invent\Nthe Molotov cocktail.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:32.02,0:41:36.46,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,He invented the Sloe Comfortable\NScrew Against the Wall.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:39.78,0:41:43.58,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Which he is drinking there. Yes,\Nhaving one right now. Pina colada.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:43.58,0:41:47.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, he invented some grim things\Nlike death lists.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:47.06,0:41:50.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The Molotov line, like\Nthe Maginot line, a defensive line,\Nvarious other things.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:50.86,0:41:55.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He was a Bolshevik. He was a\NBolshevik, he was the Foreign\NMinister under Stalin, all the way.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:55.74,0:41:57.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He lived until 1986.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:41:57.30,0:42:00.62,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,A very exciting job,\NForeign Minister under Stalin.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:00.62,0:42:04.46,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,You can imagine, absolutely. \NEvery day, "What are we going\Nto do today?"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:04.46,0:42:07.30,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't know. Have you asked him?"\N"He hasn't woken up yet."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:07.30,0:42:10.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He claimed his country, in the war\Nagainst Finland, was dropping\Nfood parcels
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:10.86,0:42:12.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,when it was dropping cluster bombs.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:12.58,0:42:18.42,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So the Finns called them\NMolotov's breadbaskets,\Nthese bombs that came down.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:18.42,0:42:23.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,When they fought against the Soviet\Ntanks... Don't forget, the Finns\Nbeat the Russians.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:23.14,0:42:26.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It was quite an amazing war. They\Nused petrol bombs and they said,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:26.62,0:42:29.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"These are Molotov cocktails to go\Nwith the bread you're giving us,"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:29.70,0:42:33.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,so it was kind of their joke.\NBut they humiliated Russia, Finland,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:33.14,0:42:38.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,it was an extraordinary achievement.\NVery, very well done. Yes, very well\Ndone, Finland, absolutely.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:38.26,0:42:42.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Which brings me to the real matter\Nof the scores, and my goodness,\Nare they interesting or not?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:42.86,0:42:44.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, they are quite interesting.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:44.74,0:42:48.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm afraid in fourth place,\Nwith minus 32, it's Robert Webb.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:48.62,0:42:50.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:42:55.06,0:43:00.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And in third place\Nwith minus 17, Ronni Ancona.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:00.22,0:43:02.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:06.42,0:43:10.14,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,In second place, Alan Davies with\Nminus eight. Thanks very much.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:10.14,0:43:12.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:12.22,0:43:14.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Which means our runaway winner,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:14.70,0:43:18.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,our solar sceptic\Nwith minus two, Phill Jupitus.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:18.54,0:43:21.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE\NI'm not here. I'm not here.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:28.38,0:43:31.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's all from QI. Goodnight from\NRonni, Robert, Phill, Alan and me,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:31.78,0:43:34.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and I will leave you\Nwith this thought.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:34.14,0:43:37.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You will tune in again next week,\Nyou will. Goodnight.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:56.18,0:43:59.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:43:59.22,0:44:02.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,E-mail [email protected]