Psych (2006–2014): Season 1, Episode 2 - Spellingg Bee - full transcript
Shawn Spencer is delighted that as soon as he has opened his quirky investigation agency Psych, the police hires him for a new case. Gus is furious to be sneakily forced to join, but delighted with this case, as it's at the national SpellingBee competition, although he later learns Shawn sabotaged his chances to participate as a kid. A contestant has died suspiciously, soon followed by another ad the legendary judge. Shawn has to finish a dog house he started as a kid to get pa Henry's mates in toxicology to test evidence he 'found'.
Excuse me,
you're in my seat.
Am i?
Actually, yes, you are.
You one of those
weirdo compulsives
who come to
the same restaurant,
sit in the same chair,
and eat the same food
every day?
No, no, no, I was
sitting right there
three minutes ago,
and then I went outside
to get myself a paper.
I ordered a juice, and look,
I made a crawling snake
with the straw wrapper.
You can finish it if you think
you're up to the job.
I'm sorry.
You want me to move?
Not anymore.
So, what's up?
I don't have
time to talk.
But you haven't heard
what i'm going to say.
See, now we've
already talked
more than I wanted to.
Well, I did give you
my seat, you know.
I think that gets me
one question.
Listen, diner guy...
Shawn.
Shawn. Flattered, really.
Very often, I am happy
to meet new people.
But today, right here,
right now, I can't talk.
I understand. I do.
What if I do the talking
for both of us?
Have at it!
Do you mind if
I read the paper
and stare aimlessly
out the window while
you two talk?
No. Can I get a name
to work with?
Juliet.
Well, it's very nice
to meet you, Juliet.
(IN WOMAN'S VOICE)
It's nice to meet
you, too, Shawn.
And I am sorry
about your seat.
So, lunch is on me.
So, what do you
do for a living?
(IN HIS OWN VOICE)
I do a little bit
of everything.
(IN WOMAN'S VOICE)
Oh, that sounds interesting.
And maybe a little bit
dangerous.
Oh, I like your jacket.
I like it...
okay, can I stop you here?
First off, in your
portrayal of me,
I sound like i'm
in the eighth grade.
Well, in my portrayal of you,
you only have an eighth
grade education.
(SCOFFS)
All right, smarten you up.
College, yeah?
Top your class,
graduate early...
got it.
(IN WOMAN'S VOICE)
I'm new to town, and I
don't know many people.
But I do know my cats.
Two of them.
The gray one is
very affectionate,
the white one makes me work
much, much harder
for the attention.
And what about your family?
My family is amazing!
My parents have been together
for, what is it, 30 years now?
Okay, do we know each other?
Yes, you were the girl
who stole my seat!
Oh, my gosh, you're a cop!
I'm not a cop!
The paper, the vantage point,
the layout, of course!
You got defensive
when scary guy walked in,
you're totally a cop!
Okay, Shawn, I may need you
to do me a favor.
Name it.
Duck!
Officer: Police!
Gun! Go!
Let me go!
Get him up!
Come on!
First time
pulling your gun?
Maybe.
♪ ♪ I know, you know
that i'm not telling the truth ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ I know, you know
they just don't have any proof ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ Embrace the deception
learn how to bend ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ Your worst inhibitions
tend to psych you out
in the end ♪ ♪
thirty seconds,
mr. Guster.
A-g...
...g...
let me start over!
"Aggiornamento."
A...
...g...
...g...
...o...
(BUZZER RINGS)
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
Man on tv: Beautiful
Santa Barbara, California,
is the backdrop for this
afternoon's coverage of
the American Spelling Bee,
being held at the downtown
Cabrillo theater.
Champions from all over
these western united states
have made the trek to test...
what are you watching?
Nothing.
Is that Korean porn?
Come on, man!
It's the regional finals
of the American spelling bee.
What?
Don't mock me.
It's a huge event.
No, i'm just... i'm shocked
that you didn't take
the whole day off.
It's on sports cal two,
for your information.
And it's hosted
by bud collins.
Really? Did they
bump the car washing
championships for this?
And is it over soon?
'Cause i'd like to get back
to the woodcarving finals.
Man on tv: Let's
recap this morning's
unexpected high drama.
It's being held in
Santa Barbara this year.
Down at the Cabrillo.
It's huge. Sold out.
All the experts are
shaking their heads.
I tried to get tickets,
but you gotta know somebody.
Somebody lame.
Dude, I can't believe
you're watching that!
I'm taping it!
And I don't care
what you think, Shawn,
I watch the bee semis
every year.
Okay, for your sake and mine,
stop giving the spelling bee
hip little nicknames.
(SHUSHING)
Collins: For those of you
who have just joined us,
well, a bit of a shock.
And a little sad, too.
The heavy favorite
has had a bad spell,
and Brendan vu is out!
What?
Boo-hoo for vu, bud.
No way. Brendan vu is out?
Already?
Okay, now you're
just scaring me.
Come on, Shawn. He
took second last year,
everybody knows that!
No, Gus, nobody
knows that, except for
Brendan and his mother.
Okay.
We're gonna show this again.
It looks like
young mr. Vu
may be having
trouble breathing.
He does look to be under
some sort of duress, bud.
His inhaler did not appear
to help, and vu tumbled.
(AUDIENCE GASPS)
Dang!
Paramedics rushed
to the scene,
and within moments,
the competition had taken
an unexpected turn.
Wait a second.
Did you see that?
This is no accident.
There's something wrong
with that inhaler.
Shawn, get out of here.
(PHONE RINGS)
For 35 minutes,
competition was suspended.
Psych.
...and vu and his family
were rushed to the hospital.
It's the chief.
I'll have to check with Gus.
Are we available?
Appears we are.
We'll be right there.
What?
I can get us into
the spelling bee.
Really?
Guess I was right about
the whole bandon dunes thing.
Brendan vu.
Sure.
They need a psychic
detective for that?
They don't,
unless he was sabotaged.
The kid said his
inhaler felt funny.
When he used it,
his hand stung,
paramedics get there,
there's no inhaler.
Apparently, the thing just
vanished into thin air.
Shawn, we are so taking this!
Let's go!
How come I can't get you
this excited about girls?
Let's go, Shawn!
Or Mexico?
We're here!
Go on in, mr. Spencer.
I've arranged everything
you need inside.
You're leaving?
Oh, I was only here for
the mayor's presentation,
and we have a robbery
standoff across town.
Whoa, shouldn't I go
to the hospital,
meet the victim,
get his statement?
Mr. Spencer,
the case is sabotage.
There are 43
remaining contestants,
all presumably with a motive.
Now, you can read guilt
just by talking with
someone, right?
Do it.
You want us to talk
to all of them?
And their parents.
Today?
Mmm-hmm. By 5:00.
In two days,
this whole thing is over.
At that time,
all the witnesses will be
in 100 different cities
all over the western
united states.
So, it's now or never.
Good luck.
Collins:
Spellmaster Elvin Cavanaugh
is a secretive guy,
and yet, he has called
for a press conference
after this round!
Can you repeat that, please?
"Butyraceous. "
Definition, please?
Adjective.
"Having the characteristics
of butter. "
This thing's been
sold out for weeks.
I can see why.
It moves so fast, it's
like hockey with words.
There's Elvin Cavanaugh,
the greatest
spell champion ever.
He's been the spellmaster
for 14 years.
He's a legend.
Wow.
"Butyraceous. "
He sits up there
all by himself in
that fancy box?
Language of origin?
What is he,
the phantom
of the opera?
He's a huge celebrity!
He can't just sit
in the crowd!
Can you repeat the word?
"Butyraceous. "
"Butyraceous"?
Oh, come on, dude,
you're not bored at all?
Do you know how to spell
any of these words?
Proudly. I have never
heard of any of
these words.
I file these words under
"things to say
"when I want to be ridiculed
or kicked out of bed."
See, the problem is
that butyraceous is
clearly a round one word.
Oh, god, stop talking.
I'd like to pretend
we still have things
in common, Gus!
Well, instead of
sitting here, maybe
we should get to work!
Try not to break anything.
Wow!
So this is what
it looks like.
What?
The comfort room.
This is where you go to
deal with missing a word.
Oh, yeah? Where do they
take you to deal with
missing your entire
childhood?
Shawn, this misplaced
malevolence you have
with the spelling bee
is getting monotonous.
Stop hating on the bee!
I'm sorry, ma'am,
I do apologize for his
inappropriate virulence.
Why are you using
all these big-ass
words all of a sudden?
I'm not doing that.
That's preposterous!
I was in the spelling bee
myself.
I almost won.
Dude, are you
still on that?
Of course i'm still on it!
I know it wasn't "o"!
You may have five
minutes with each
contestant, no more.
If the room is needed,
you'll be asked to vacate.
I'll begin with the
eliminated contestants.
Actually, we'd only like
to speak with the ones
that were still
in the competition
when the accident occurred.
Ms. Foote.
And let's start
with the shifty-eyed ones,
shall we?
And you were there
the whole time?
I was.
Assimilation.
A-s-s-l-m-l-l-a-t-l-o-n.
Assimilation.
My son, no one expect him
to come this far.
But he surprise everyone.
You watch him win.
Oh, I don't know.
Are they running odds
on this thing now?
'Cause i've got some cash
i'd like to lay down
on the really,
really tall girl with
the bulldog underbite.
What, is she on stilts?
(SHAWN LAUGHING)
You do not understand.
This contest, it is
money for scholarship.
It is entry into any
school in the future.
Yeah, Shawn.
The winner of this
competition can just
about choose his university.
Your friend is right.
And it teaches
grace under pressure.
Poise. Dignity.
All things you can get
at a hot-dog eating
competition.
Plus...
hot dogs.
Still studying, huh?
Oh, she loves it.
Won't put that thing down.
Well, kudos on
the childrearing.
Let me know how
the therapy goes.
Huh?
We're gonna keep rolling
because of the exceptional
request by Elvin Cavanaugh,
a behind-the-scenes guy,
to give a press conference
right here at this stage
of the competition!
What's that all about?
Well, I mean, this could
be something big, bud.
I mean, this year's
competition has just been
peppered with controversy.
It certainly has.
Well, he's been watching
from a private box on
the balcony, but now,
he's going to come out
so that we can see him.
(GRUNTS)
This could be
something big, bud.
I think he's having
difficulty breathing!
He does look
under duress, bud.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Oh, jeez!
Oh, my! Oh, my god! Oh!
Woman: Call 911!
Man: Okay, move over.
(ALL CLAMORING)
Okay. Not to belittle
this guy's life,
but this just got
more interesting than
the woodcarving finals.
(ZIPPER CLOSES)
When do we decide if we
should cancel this event?
Why would we cancel?
Well, a body did just
tumble into the crowd.
Didn't land on anybody.
It might be traumatic.
For who?
The mayor, when he realizes
all the hotel rooms
are now empty?
We could postpone
at least a day, i'm
sure that's allowed.
Do you have any idea
how important this event
is to the city?
Now, unhealthy guy
has heart attack,
falls over railing.
Case closed.
Certainly not declaring it
a crime scene.
Come on, you can
introduce me to the press.
Okay, just be sensitive.
How about if we don't sell
the seat the guy landed on?
Can I help you?
Has anyone come
out of there?
Just the cops.
I've been here
the whole time.
Did you hear anything
from in there?
I'm sorry, who are you?
I'm Shawn Spencer,
i'm a psychic with
the police department.
I'm sorry, mr. Spencer.
Look, I don't doubt
your ability,
I actually have an aunt
who can see apparitions,
and some spooky stuff.
But they told me not to
let anybody in here
without a badge, so...
I see.
Okay. As long as
you feel safe.
Safe?
What with the dead guy's
spirit being here,
and him being so angry.
How angry?
Well, considering
he might have just
been murdered,
that's definitely
a negative.
(SHAWN LAUGHING)
Man, I wouldn't be happy!
(ALL LAUGH)
(SHRIEKING)
No, please, spare me!
I'm here to help you! Gus!
Back me up here!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Segrete ammunus!
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(STAMMERING) you guys
just take a quick little
look-see, okay?
I'll be downstairs!
Come on, get up!
(GROANS)
Well, we certainly know
what his vice was.
He was a heavy eater,
so what?
Nothing.
I'm just thinking Lassiter's
heart attack theory
might not be so far off.
Who's contestant 1953?
It only goes up
to 200-something.
What's 1953 mean?
Nothing.
Is it a rule?
No, they don't really
number the rules like that.
Think there was
an altercation?
No, something else.
He was all by himself
up here.
You smell that?
Dude, don't look at me.
It's sulfuric.
Gus, I am not the one
who had the egg salad.
No, no, no.
We manufactured something
last year, heavy stuff.
When it starts to go bad,
smelled the same.
You could pick out a bottle
across the warehouse.
I can't smell anything!
Well, you don't have
the super-smeller.
Gus! You have got to
stop calling your nose
the super-smeller.
You wanna nickname
a body part?
Nickname your butt, man!
Call it the "tightbouncer,"
or the "hexagon."
Ladies are gonna dig that,
i'm telling you.
It's there. It's right there.
It's subtle, but
it's right there.
Well, what is it?
I don't know.
It's nothing we manufacture.
Aren't you supposed to
know this kind of stuff?
Shawn, I sell pharmaceutical
supplies, i'm not a scientist!
But you're saying
it is something?
Yes, i'm pretty sure.
Don't eat it!
What, do I look
like an idiot?
What... what... are you
taking some to go?
Yes! For the road!
In case later on
I get hungry enough
to eat something
that might be poisoned!
There are four up there,
and two on the other side.
What, you mean those
two guys up there?
Excuse me, hi, it's time.
The press are ready.
Thank you.
All right.
Man, we gotta go!
Sorry, could I just
try that again?
I kind of fumbled
the "safe and secure" part.
Sure.
Be sensitive.
Of course.
The finals will continue
tomorrow as scheduled.
At this point, all indications
are mr. Cavanaugh was
having a heart attack,
stumbled forward,
falling over the railing
to his death.
But we wanna
assure everyone
that this building
is both safe and...
our sympathies go out
to mr. Cavanaugh's family,
and we would like
to offer counseling
to anyone who feels
that they might need it.
Shawn: Who's the blonde?
Lassiter's new partner.
They transferred
his girlfriend.
And again, we wanna
ensure everyone coming out
for this fantastic event
that it is entirely safe.
Shawn! They're gonna
stop investigating!
One last question,
and then I really have
to go wrap up this thing.
Do something!
Is there any word as to
what Cavanaugh's big
announcement was?
Moo goo gaI pan!
Beef io mein, kung pao!
Check the food!
It was murder!
Oh, did I just say
all that out loud?
Shawn, you'll never find out
what that is without a lab.
I'll get a lab.
A high-tech lab?
Right now?
Maybe.
Might have
a connection.
Yo!
Shawn.
Hey, dad, great shirt!
You want something.
Why do you always think
I want something?
Oh, you don't want anything.
What a pleasant surprise.
Okay, you got me!
I want something.
I got a poker game
in 45 minutes.
You still talk
to Jim Syklan?
Syklan? Sometimes.
Why, what's he to you?
Is he still working at the
regional crime lab out here?
Last I checked. Why?
I need to know
what this is.
It looks like a number 15
with chicken.
Dad, you made a joke!
I think
there's poison in it.
Goodbye, Shawn.
(GROANS)
It's just one time! Once!
No cases, Shawn!
I was painfully
clear about that.
Oh, no, no,
this isn't for a case.
This is for a friend.
Oh, friend, different.
No!
Look, i'll do anything,
whatever you want,
it's one favor.
Anything he can tell me
about this would be very
helpful, it's serious.
Shawn, this is really
important to you?
Extremely.
And you'll do anything?
Name it.
(CHUCKLING)
Grab a saw.
What, now?
Well, you said you'd
do anything, right?
You know, most people will
wait five, six whole minutes
before they cash in a favor.
I will not saw through
bone for you.
(CHUCKLING)
The doghouse?
From eighth grade?
Well, it's not really
a doghouse.
Not yet.
What do you
want me to do?
Finish it.
What, now?
Or whenever you want
your information.
You got more wood out back,
nails on the workbench,
home depot's open till 9:00.
Don't cut any corners.
You're insane!
You're losing light.
Make sure you lock up.
It's creepy that
you kept this!
(DOG BARKING)
Shawn, you've done
absolutely nothing
to convince me that
you're responsible
enough for a dog.
You'll never give me
a chance.
Chances are earned, Shawn.
You'll never
let me earn it!
Fair enough.
You're gonna need
a doghouse.
I saw one at
the hardware store.
No. No, no, no.
You're gonna make it.
I can't.
Well, it seems to me
that somebody who thinks
they're responsible enough
for the life of an animal
should certainly be able
to construct a roof for
the ratty little thing.
All right, i'll make it.
I'll make it right now.
What is that?
"What is that? "
It's the doghouse.
No, it's not.
What are you talking about?
I gave you specifications.
When?
When I gave you the job.
In 1989?
Shawn, you know
as well as I do
this is not what I asked for.
Keep working.
Don't be too loud.
The neighbors are
trying to sleep.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(CHUCKLES)
You expect me to
be okay with this?
I worked hard on it.
Shawn, you've been at this
for hours now.
The nails aren't
pounded in all the way,
the base has gotta be
up off the ground.
If it rains, the rain's
gonna flow right in.
And who's gonna fit in
through that door?
That door's not high enough.
I built it, dad,
what do you want me to do?
I want you to do it right.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(SHAWN GRUNTING)
Listen, dr. Sloane,
if I can get you this
product this afternoon,
would it be possible
to sit down with you
to discuss the...
m-a...
the unbelievable results
we've been having...
...0...
i'm sorry.
Can I call you back?
Thanks.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Burton Guster. Shawn?
You're in the hospital?
What happened?
(GROANING)
You call your dad?
I'm fine.
They're releasing me.
Did you call him?
Gus, I am not gonna
talk to my dad.
He'd wanna know
you're okay.
All he cares about
are results.
Just like those possessed
spelling bee parents.
You know what's
wrong with this?
All of this.
Shawn, you're delirious.
You're upset.
You lost control of
your bike last night.
Gus, I didn't lose
control of anything.
Someone tried
to kill me or send
a very serious message.
Brendan appreciates you
checking on him.
Well, we were in
the neighborhood.
And, Gus here
is a huge fan.
He almost won the
spelling bee himself.
I took some bad advice.
Well, Brendan's
going home tomorrow.
He's fine.
He's more upset about
missing the spelling bee.
Well, maybe they'll decide
to redo the whole thing.
Why'd they do that?
Did you see the inhaler?
Same one as that
little Czech kid?
Get me a seating chart.
I'll bet you I know
who Brendan was sitting
next to on day one.
I already checked it out.
Nice!
Shawn, something's
going on with
that Czech kid.
Talk to me.
The doctor on his inhaler,
dr. Zavin, in Ventura?
Yeah?
He doesn't exist.
I do training on that route.
The last doctor in the book
is Youngerman.
I double-checked it today.
You're saying that inhaler...
is a fake.
(LAUGHING)
Where you going?
I am going to build
a doghouse!
I thought you gave up.
Yeah, well, it doesn't
appear so, huh?
What happened to your leg?
Absolutely nothing.
You're running your roofing
vertical there, huh?
Yeah.
You might wanna pop
a ridge beam in first.
Well, yeah, that's a given.
What the hell
are you doing?
I'm gonna help you.
You've never helped me
before, ever.
You've never asked.
Put a nail in here.
All right. This is weird.
No, thanks.
Not bad.
(SCOFFS)
"Not bad"?
It's like the park Hyatt
for poodles.
Will you call jack Syklan?
What is this?
Your results.
We had an agreement.
This is a derivative
of methyl parathion.
High-grade stuff.
Whatever you're into,
I want you to get out quick.
I'm not kidding.
Wait a sec. How did you
get this so quickly?
Hmm? Oh, Syklan's a part
of my poker game.
So you didn't even
have to call him?
That game was at his house.
And I did all of that
for nothing?
For nothing? Shawn,
you've never completed
a thing in your life.
Now you have.
Poisoned?
I feel somebody
poisoned his food.
There is a
styrofoam container, yes,
and a...
(GROANING)
"Happiness is a golden poem."
What?
(IMITATES CRACKING)
A fortune cookie!
This is ridiculous.
Is it?
Mr. Spencer, what we have now
points to a medical condition,
not murder.
All appearances show
mr. Cavanaugh having
an anaphylactic reaction.
Not to be out of line,
but that could be triggered
by several types of poisons.
Or altered medications.
Or shellfish, which
he was allergic to.
Those results will show up
in the toxicology report,
which we will have a copy of
in approximately two weeks.
No, no, no!
That'll be too late.
All the contestants
will be gone...
home.
You won't be able to finish
a real investigation.
Chief, I sense this!
Look, something
got out of control
and the perpetrator
was willing to kill
to cover it up!
What proof do you have?
Only what I feel.
Why are you still
listening to this crap?
Dude, what is your glitch?
You! You're my glitch!
Look, he got nowhere
with his little inhaler
assignment,
and then he tells the media
that we had a murder scene!
Cut him loose, Karen!
I mean, do whatever you
think is best, chief.
Mr. Cavanaugh was gonna
make an announcement.
What about that?
The director said
he'd recently spoken
of retiring.
That's not what
he was gonna say.
Oh, you know?
I know.
Mr. Spencer, I asked you
to check in about
the inhaler incident.
If you or your partner
have anything about that,
i'd be happy
to hear about it.
Otherwise...
we gotta get back into
the spellmaster's room.
Are you serious?
Gus, the killer was there!
There's gotta be
some other piece
of evidence inside.
We're not gonna have
time to get in there.
Besides, it's locked.
We'll make it work.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
How hard is it to
get into this event
without a ticket?
Impossible.
The new spellmaster.
Check it out.
It's exactly what
I was hoping you'd say.
You can't do
that to him!
Gus, he has to learn
sometime that smoking
is bad for him.
We're picking it up
as a new round commences.
A lot of excitement
in the air.
Ooh, yeah.
The tension is becoming
butyraceous, bud.
(GROANS)
I'm so sorry
if my agonizing pain
is inconveniencing you.
What's this?
It's a mark on a carpet.
Let's go.
Someone must have
heard that.
Man: Thirty seconds.
Live to air.
Positions, please.
Time's up, Shawn.
(GRUNTS)
Did you hear me, Shawn?
I've got something!
Yes!
Ten seconds.
Prepare the next word.
That can't be right.
It doesn't mean anything,
Shawn, let's go.
Broadcast in five,
four, three, two...
maybe this direction.
Hello? We need the word now.
Is everything okay?
Leann, something's wrong,
send security.
No, sorry for the delay.
Give me a word!
A word?
Yeah! Something hard,
but something you can spell.
I can spell anything.
Except "aggiornamento."
Give me one!
No!
You are not gonna
be spellmaster!
Gus, give me a word so
we can get out of here!
We're so close!
Is everything okay up there?
It's fine.
"Banana."
Can you repeat that?
Yes.
"Banana. "
"Banana," Shawn?
This is the third round!
You could have helped me!
This is a dead end, Shawn,
we're walking. Let's go!
Definition, please?
What?
(FEEDBACK)
A yellow fruit.
Also, a kind of pudding.
A delicious pudding.
Sentence, please?
"Anna banana would
like to hear Venus
by Bananarama. "
"Banana. "
B-a-n-a-n-a. Banana.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
Oh, wait a second,
i've got something!
Dude, we got him!
He was watching the Czech.
Let me see.
We need to get
the next word.
Give me a word.
No!
You're ruining
the whole event!
Suit yourself.
"Onion. "
"Onion? "
"Onion? "
"Onion? "
Even dan Quayle
could spell that.
O-n-l-o-n. Onion.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Are we off the list, bill?
No, everything's fine.
You're using
his grocery list!
You refused to help me!
Now I gotta give them
something else.
"Mitchum. "
(ALL LAUGHING)
"Mitchum"?
Yes.
"When I go to Albertsons,
I need to buy some
Mitchum ice blast. "
"And bananas. "
That wasn't me!
I was locked outside.
I have a reputation
to uphold!
So he was watching the Czech,
we have no proof.
There was no film
in the camera!
He was using that lens
for something else besides
taking pictures. Now, what?
Cavanaugh was known
for ferreting out
rule breakers.
He once caught a kid
stealing the advance
word list.
And everything he did
had a purpose.
You couldn't have
grabbed one of these
five minute ago?
Man: We're down to
the final two spellers.
This has been
a hard-fought battle
right from the start!
We've had tragedy,
controversy,
but when it really mattered,
these kids put together
a fantastic display
of the power of learning.
(SCOFFS)
Look at this. Brendan vu
went down on "gladiolus."
So?
So? If i'd been able to see
any of the competition,
I could have told you
that was the winning word
from the first spelling bee
in 1929.
Okay, you're
scaring me again.
All of these words
from that round were
the winning words.
They do that once in a while,
they make it a theme round.
This one won the 1985 bee,
this one from 1943.
Gus, what are
you saying?
Guess which kid got
the winning word from 1953?
You're staring at his father.
Gus, that's who Cavanaugh
was gonna disqualify.
That's what he was
tracking in the rulebook!
1953! It was 1953.
Fineman: JirI prochazka,
you have the next word.
"Mastoparietal. "
Part of speech?
It is an adjective.
(STAMMERING) could i
have the definition?
Yes.
"Relating to
the mastoid portion
of the temporal bone,
"and to the parietal lobe. "
M...
...a- s-t...
...o- p-a-r-i...
I got him.
Let's call the chief.
And this year's winner of the
Central California Regionals
is jiri prochazka!
(SHAWN WHOOPING)
Move out, people,
this is what you
came to see, right here.
This is it! Yes!
This competition meant
everything to Miklous!
Oh, boy! Gus!
Gus, here we go!
Gus, it's happening!
(GROANING)
I know who killed
Elvin Cavanaugh.
Can't he ever
just tell us to
arrest someone?
He does this a lot?
Both: Yes.
I'm sorry. I'm kind of
a slave to my visions.
I'm a slave.
Do you want me
to cuff him?
Why would I want that?
Just a suggestion.
They just sort of come
when they wanna come, and...
jiri.
Spell "soubrette."
Why is this man speaking?
You can't, can you?
Not without help
from your dad.
And that's not
a real inhaler,
is it?
This is crazy, this...
this...
Shawn: Cheating was
Cavanaugh's obsession.
He was gonna expose you
as a cheater.
He was gonna disqualify jiri,
and you knew it,
and you couldn't
let that happen.
You had way too much
to lose.
You slipped into the box.
You knew his comfort
was food!
He was dangerously unhealthy!
He's starting
to go into shock.
You knew he wouldn't
stop the bee!
He never stops the bee!
By the end of the round,
it was too late!
Too dizzy to walk,
he stumbles...
he tumbles over the rail,
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Crashes onto
the chairs below.
And there goes
the evidence.
Except for one thing.
That inhaler.
It sends electronic signals!
The transmitter
is in your jacket.
You sent the signals
from the audience to
the stage.
And I bet at your home,
we'll find the van
that ran me off the road
when I alerted the police!
Dangerous cocktail,
unforgiving poisons.
You don't need it.
I took your advice.
I ran the Chinese
food through the lab,
nothing's definite.
I'm sorry.
He just seemed sure.
I took a shot.
(INAUDIBLY)
I'll take it from here.
I could've won
that thing.
(CAR STARTS)
Yeah, you could've.
Thank the lord
you didn't.
What is that supposed
to mean?
Oh, Gus.
The guy who wins?
Saddled forever as,
you know, the dude that
won the spelling bee.
I'm sure you would've
dealt with it later,
but kids, high school
kids, especially,
they're just ruthless,
judgmental.
Horrible little bastards.
You wouldn't have
been able to date
a cheerleader.
They wouldn't
have invited you
to any parties.
You'd have been
the object of ridicule.
I mean, this way,
you got to be a smart kid
and a cool kid.
Best of both worlds.
That's true.
I appreciate that, Shawn.
Yeah, it's a nice balance.
That's why I had to
give you the wrong letter.
You knew that was wrong?
Oh, come on, Gus.
"Aggiornamento"?
Everybody knew
it was an "i".
All right, you hold on.
You were happy
one second ago.
I was about to win!
I studied for three months.
Yeah, and you would
have kept studying
forever and ever!
All the way till nationals!
But you're upset now,
I can see that.
But you'll be fine
with it later.
You know what that did to me?
Yes, yes, I do.
We went out
the next night,
and you were so flustered
that you threw caution
to the wind,
and you hooked up with
Melinda Castleberg!
It was nice!
Come here, Shawn!
At least I was honest.
Come here!
Ah, Shawn, what a coincidence.
Yeah, I was just reading
the newspaper,
a little article that
sounded very familiar
about a spelling bee.
Thanks for the help, dad.
Police ever get
that evidence?
Yeah, a funny little bird
tipped them off.
Leg doing better?
It's getting there,
doesn't hurt so bad.
Listen, dad, the thing
about the house, the dog,
it was kind of a big deal.
And I know I held
a grudge about it
for a while.
But I think
you were right.
A dog needs a house,
and a doghouse needs
an occupant,
so as a token of
my appreciation,
I left you
a little something.
Sincerely,
thanks.
Shawn. Shawn!
No. No way!
Enjoy, dad.
Shawn, you gotta take
this thing with you!
You kidding? There's no pets
allowed in my apartment!
I'm gonna stick it
on the street, Shawn!
I swear i'm gonna stick...
Shawn!
(SNICKERING)
Shawn!
He's not gonna keep
that thing, you know.
It's my neighbor's dog.
Shawn!
Take a lap around the block.
Let him stew a little bit.
I'm gonna take it,
and i'm gonna go,
and i'm gonna
stick it on the street!
Shawn! Shawn!
♪ ♪ In between the lines
there's a lot of obscurity ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ I'm not inclined
to resign to maturity ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ If it's all right
then you're all wrong ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ But why bounce around
to the same damn song? ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ You'd rather run
when you can't crawl ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ I know, you know
that i'm not telling the truth ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ I know, you know
they just don't have any proof ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ Embrace the deception
learn how to bend ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ Your worst inhibitions
tend to psych you out
in the end ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ I know, you know ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ I know, you know ♪ ♪
you're in my seat.
Am i?
Actually, yes, you are.
You one of those
weirdo compulsives
who come to
the same restaurant,
sit in the same chair,
and eat the same food
every day?
No, no, no, I was
sitting right there
three minutes ago,
and then I went outside
to get myself a paper.
I ordered a juice, and look,
I made a crawling snake
with the straw wrapper.
You can finish it if you think
you're up to the job.
I'm sorry.
You want me to move?
Not anymore.
So, what's up?
I don't have
time to talk.
But you haven't heard
what i'm going to say.
See, now we've
already talked
more than I wanted to.
Well, I did give you
my seat, you know.
I think that gets me
one question.
Listen, diner guy...
Shawn.
Shawn. Flattered, really.
Very often, I am happy
to meet new people.
But today, right here,
right now, I can't talk.
I understand. I do.
What if I do the talking
for both of us?
Have at it!
Do you mind if
I read the paper
and stare aimlessly
out the window while
you two talk?
No. Can I get a name
to work with?
Juliet.
Well, it's very nice
to meet you, Juliet.
(IN WOMAN'S VOICE)
It's nice to meet
you, too, Shawn.
And I am sorry
about your seat.
So, lunch is on me.
So, what do you
do for a living?
(IN HIS OWN VOICE)
I do a little bit
of everything.
(IN WOMAN'S VOICE)
Oh, that sounds interesting.
And maybe a little bit
dangerous.
Oh, I like your jacket.
I like it...
okay, can I stop you here?
First off, in your
portrayal of me,
I sound like i'm
in the eighth grade.
Well, in my portrayal of you,
you only have an eighth
grade education.
(SCOFFS)
All right, smarten you up.
College, yeah?
Top your class,
graduate early...
got it.
(IN WOMAN'S VOICE)
I'm new to town, and I
don't know many people.
But I do know my cats.
Two of them.
The gray one is
very affectionate,
the white one makes me work
much, much harder
for the attention.
And what about your family?
My family is amazing!
My parents have been together
for, what is it, 30 years now?
Okay, do we know each other?
Yes, you were the girl
who stole my seat!
Oh, my gosh, you're a cop!
I'm not a cop!
The paper, the vantage point,
the layout, of course!
You got defensive
when scary guy walked in,
you're totally a cop!
Okay, Shawn, I may need you
to do me a favor.
Name it.
Duck!
Officer: Police!
Gun! Go!
Let me go!
Get him up!
Come on!
First time
pulling your gun?
Maybe.
♪ ♪ I know, you know
that i'm not telling the truth ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ I know, you know
they just don't have any proof ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ Embrace the deception
learn how to bend ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ Your worst inhibitions
tend to psych you out
in the end ♪ ♪
thirty seconds,
mr. Guster.
A-g...
...g...
let me start over!
"Aggiornamento."
A...
...g...
...g...
...o...
(BUZZER RINGS)
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
Man on tv: Beautiful
Santa Barbara, California,
is the backdrop for this
afternoon's coverage of
the American Spelling Bee,
being held at the downtown
Cabrillo theater.
Champions from all over
these western united states
have made the trek to test...
what are you watching?
Nothing.
Is that Korean porn?
Come on, man!
It's the regional finals
of the American spelling bee.
What?
Don't mock me.
It's a huge event.
No, i'm just... i'm shocked
that you didn't take
the whole day off.
It's on sports cal two,
for your information.
And it's hosted
by bud collins.
Really? Did they
bump the car washing
championships for this?
And is it over soon?
'Cause i'd like to get back
to the woodcarving finals.
Man on tv: Let's
recap this morning's
unexpected high drama.
It's being held in
Santa Barbara this year.
Down at the Cabrillo.
It's huge. Sold out.
All the experts are
shaking their heads.
I tried to get tickets,
but you gotta know somebody.
Somebody lame.
Dude, I can't believe
you're watching that!
I'm taping it!
And I don't care
what you think, Shawn,
I watch the bee semis
every year.
Okay, for your sake and mine,
stop giving the spelling bee
hip little nicknames.
(SHUSHING)
Collins: For those of you
who have just joined us,
well, a bit of a shock.
And a little sad, too.
The heavy favorite
has had a bad spell,
and Brendan vu is out!
What?
Boo-hoo for vu, bud.
No way. Brendan vu is out?
Already?
Okay, now you're
just scaring me.
Come on, Shawn. He
took second last year,
everybody knows that!
No, Gus, nobody
knows that, except for
Brendan and his mother.
Okay.
We're gonna show this again.
It looks like
young mr. Vu
may be having
trouble breathing.
He does look to be under
some sort of duress, bud.
His inhaler did not appear
to help, and vu tumbled.
(AUDIENCE GASPS)
Dang!
Paramedics rushed
to the scene,
and within moments,
the competition had taken
an unexpected turn.
Wait a second.
Did you see that?
This is no accident.
There's something wrong
with that inhaler.
Shawn, get out of here.
(PHONE RINGS)
For 35 minutes,
competition was suspended.
Psych.
...and vu and his family
were rushed to the hospital.
It's the chief.
I'll have to check with Gus.
Are we available?
Appears we are.
We'll be right there.
What?
I can get us into
the spelling bee.
Really?
Guess I was right about
the whole bandon dunes thing.
Brendan vu.
Sure.
They need a psychic
detective for that?
They don't,
unless he was sabotaged.
The kid said his
inhaler felt funny.
When he used it,
his hand stung,
paramedics get there,
there's no inhaler.
Apparently, the thing just
vanished into thin air.
Shawn, we are so taking this!
Let's go!
How come I can't get you
this excited about girls?
Let's go, Shawn!
Or Mexico?
We're here!
Go on in, mr. Spencer.
I've arranged everything
you need inside.
You're leaving?
Oh, I was only here for
the mayor's presentation,
and we have a robbery
standoff across town.
Whoa, shouldn't I go
to the hospital,
meet the victim,
get his statement?
Mr. Spencer,
the case is sabotage.
There are 43
remaining contestants,
all presumably with a motive.
Now, you can read guilt
just by talking with
someone, right?
Do it.
You want us to talk
to all of them?
And their parents.
Today?
Mmm-hmm. By 5:00.
In two days,
this whole thing is over.
At that time,
all the witnesses will be
in 100 different cities
all over the western
united states.
So, it's now or never.
Good luck.
Collins:
Spellmaster Elvin Cavanaugh
is a secretive guy,
and yet, he has called
for a press conference
after this round!
Can you repeat that, please?
"Butyraceous. "
Definition, please?
Adjective.
"Having the characteristics
of butter. "
This thing's been
sold out for weeks.
I can see why.
It moves so fast, it's
like hockey with words.
There's Elvin Cavanaugh,
the greatest
spell champion ever.
He's been the spellmaster
for 14 years.
He's a legend.
Wow.
"Butyraceous. "
He sits up there
all by himself in
that fancy box?
Language of origin?
What is he,
the phantom
of the opera?
He's a huge celebrity!
He can't just sit
in the crowd!
Can you repeat the word?
"Butyraceous. "
"Butyraceous"?
Oh, come on, dude,
you're not bored at all?
Do you know how to spell
any of these words?
Proudly. I have never
heard of any of
these words.
I file these words under
"things to say
"when I want to be ridiculed
or kicked out of bed."
See, the problem is
that butyraceous is
clearly a round one word.
Oh, god, stop talking.
I'd like to pretend
we still have things
in common, Gus!
Well, instead of
sitting here, maybe
we should get to work!
Try not to break anything.
Wow!
So this is what
it looks like.
What?
The comfort room.
This is where you go to
deal with missing a word.
Oh, yeah? Where do they
take you to deal with
missing your entire
childhood?
Shawn, this misplaced
malevolence you have
with the spelling bee
is getting monotonous.
Stop hating on the bee!
I'm sorry, ma'am,
I do apologize for his
inappropriate virulence.
Why are you using
all these big-ass
words all of a sudden?
I'm not doing that.
That's preposterous!
I was in the spelling bee
myself.
I almost won.
Dude, are you
still on that?
Of course i'm still on it!
I know it wasn't "o"!
You may have five
minutes with each
contestant, no more.
If the room is needed,
you'll be asked to vacate.
I'll begin with the
eliminated contestants.
Actually, we'd only like
to speak with the ones
that were still
in the competition
when the accident occurred.
Ms. Foote.
And let's start
with the shifty-eyed ones,
shall we?
And you were there
the whole time?
I was.
Assimilation.
A-s-s-l-m-l-l-a-t-l-o-n.
Assimilation.
My son, no one expect him
to come this far.
But he surprise everyone.
You watch him win.
Oh, I don't know.
Are they running odds
on this thing now?
'Cause i've got some cash
i'd like to lay down
on the really,
really tall girl with
the bulldog underbite.
What, is she on stilts?
(SHAWN LAUGHING)
You do not understand.
This contest, it is
money for scholarship.
It is entry into any
school in the future.
Yeah, Shawn.
The winner of this
competition can just
about choose his university.
Your friend is right.
And it teaches
grace under pressure.
Poise. Dignity.
All things you can get
at a hot-dog eating
competition.
Plus...
hot dogs.
Still studying, huh?
Oh, she loves it.
Won't put that thing down.
Well, kudos on
the childrearing.
Let me know how
the therapy goes.
Huh?
We're gonna keep rolling
because of the exceptional
request by Elvin Cavanaugh,
a behind-the-scenes guy,
to give a press conference
right here at this stage
of the competition!
What's that all about?
Well, I mean, this could
be something big, bud.
I mean, this year's
competition has just been
peppered with controversy.
It certainly has.
Well, he's been watching
from a private box on
the balcony, but now,
he's going to come out
so that we can see him.
(GRUNTS)
This could be
something big, bud.
I think he's having
difficulty breathing!
He does look
under duress, bud.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Oh, jeez!
Oh, my! Oh, my god! Oh!
Woman: Call 911!
Man: Okay, move over.
(ALL CLAMORING)
Okay. Not to belittle
this guy's life,
but this just got
more interesting than
the woodcarving finals.
(ZIPPER CLOSES)
When do we decide if we
should cancel this event?
Why would we cancel?
Well, a body did just
tumble into the crowd.
Didn't land on anybody.
It might be traumatic.
For who?
The mayor, when he realizes
all the hotel rooms
are now empty?
We could postpone
at least a day, i'm
sure that's allowed.
Do you have any idea
how important this event
is to the city?
Now, unhealthy guy
has heart attack,
falls over railing.
Case closed.
Certainly not declaring it
a crime scene.
Come on, you can
introduce me to the press.
Okay, just be sensitive.
How about if we don't sell
the seat the guy landed on?
Can I help you?
Has anyone come
out of there?
Just the cops.
I've been here
the whole time.
Did you hear anything
from in there?
I'm sorry, who are you?
I'm Shawn Spencer,
i'm a psychic with
the police department.
I'm sorry, mr. Spencer.
Look, I don't doubt
your ability,
I actually have an aunt
who can see apparitions,
and some spooky stuff.
But they told me not to
let anybody in here
without a badge, so...
I see.
Okay. As long as
you feel safe.
Safe?
What with the dead guy's
spirit being here,
and him being so angry.
How angry?
Well, considering
he might have just
been murdered,
that's definitely
a negative.
(SHAWN LAUGHING)
Man, I wouldn't be happy!
(ALL LAUGH)
(SHRIEKING)
No, please, spare me!
I'm here to help you! Gus!
Back me up here!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Segrete ammunus!
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(STAMMERING) you guys
just take a quick little
look-see, okay?
I'll be downstairs!
Come on, get up!
(GROANS)
Well, we certainly know
what his vice was.
He was a heavy eater,
so what?
Nothing.
I'm just thinking Lassiter's
heart attack theory
might not be so far off.
Who's contestant 1953?
It only goes up
to 200-something.
What's 1953 mean?
Nothing.
Is it a rule?
No, they don't really
number the rules like that.
Think there was
an altercation?
No, something else.
He was all by himself
up here.
You smell that?
Dude, don't look at me.
It's sulfuric.
Gus, I am not the one
who had the egg salad.
No, no, no.
We manufactured something
last year, heavy stuff.
When it starts to go bad,
smelled the same.
You could pick out a bottle
across the warehouse.
I can't smell anything!
Well, you don't have
the super-smeller.
Gus! You have got to
stop calling your nose
the super-smeller.
You wanna nickname
a body part?
Nickname your butt, man!
Call it the "tightbouncer,"
or the "hexagon."
Ladies are gonna dig that,
i'm telling you.
It's there. It's right there.
It's subtle, but
it's right there.
Well, what is it?
I don't know.
It's nothing we manufacture.
Aren't you supposed to
know this kind of stuff?
Shawn, I sell pharmaceutical
supplies, i'm not a scientist!
But you're saying
it is something?
Yes, i'm pretty sure.
Don't eat it!
What, do I look
like an idiot?
What... what... are you
taking some to go?
Yes! For the road!
In case later on
I get hungry enough
to eat something
that might be poisoned!
There are four up there,
and two on the other side.
What, you mean those
two guys up there?
Excuse me, hi, it's time.
The press are ready.
Thank you.
All right.
Man, we gotta go!
Sorry, could I just
try that again?
I kind of fumbled
the "safe and secure" part.
Sure.
Be sensitive.
Of course.
The finals will continue
tomorrow as scheduled.
At this point, all indications
are mr. Cavanaugh was
having a heart attack,
stumbled forward,
falling over the railing
to his death.
But we wanna
assure everyone
that this building
is both safe and...
our sympathies go out
to mr. Cavanaugh's family,
and we would like
to offer counseling
to anyone who feels
that they might need it.
Shawn: Who's the blonde?
Lassiter's new partner.
They transferred
his girlfriend.
And again, we wanna
ensure everyone coming out
for this fantastic event
that it is entirely safe.
Shawn! They're gonna
stop investigating!
One last question,
and then I really have
to go wrap up this thing.
Do something!
Is there any word as to
what Cavanaugh's big
announcement was?
Moo goo gaI pan!
Beef io mein, kung pao!
Check the food!
It was murder!
Oh, did I just say
all that out loud?
Shawn, you'll never find out
what that is without a lab.
I'll get a lab.
A high-tech lab?
Right now?
Maybe.
Might have
a connection.
Yo!
Shawn.
Hey, dad, great shirt!
You want something.
Why do you always think
I want something?
Oh, you don't want anything.
What a pleasant surprise.
Okay, you got me!
I want something.
I got a poker game
in 45 minutes.
You still talk
to Jim Syklan?
Syklan? Sometimes.
Why, what's he to you?
Is he still working at the
regional crime lab out here?
Last I checked. Why?
I need to know
what this is.
It looks like a number 15
with chicken.
Dad, you made a joke!
I think
there's poison in it.
Goodbye, Shawn.
(GROANS)
It's just one time! Once!
No cases, Shawn!
I was painfully
clear about that.
Oh, no, no,
this isn't for a case.
This is for a friend.
Oh, friend, different.
No!
Look, i'll do anything,
whatever you want,
it's one favor.
Anything he can tell me
about this would be very
helpful, it's serious.
Shawn, this is really
important to you?
Extremely.
And you'll do anything?
Name it.
(CHUCKLING)
Grab a saw.
What, now?
Well, you said you'd
do anything, right?
You know, most people will
wait five, six whole minutes
before they cash in a favor.
I will not saw through
bone for you.
(CHUCKLING)
The doghouse?
From eighth grade?
Well, it's not really
a doghouse.
Not yet.
What do you
want me to do?
Finish it.
What, now?
Or whenever you want
your information.
You got more wood out back,
nails on the workbench,
home depot's open till 9:00.
Don't cut any corners.
You're insane!
You're losing light.
Make sure you lock up.
It's creepy that
you kept this!
(DOG BARKING)
Shawn, you've done
absolutely nothing
to convince me that
you're responsible
enough for a dog.
You'll never give me
a chance.
Chances are earned, Shawn.
You'll never
let me earn it!
Fair enough.
You're gonna need
a doghouse.
I saw one at
the hardware store.
No. No, no, no.
You're gonna make it.
I can't.
Well, it seems to me
that somebody who thinks
they're responsible enough
for the life of an animal
should certainly be able
to construct a roof for
the ratty little thing.
All right, i'll make it.
I'll make it right now.
What is that?
"What is that? "
It's the doghouse.
No, it's not.
What are you talking about?
I gave you specifications.
When?
When I gave you the job.
In 1989?
Shawn, you know
as well as I do
this is not what I asked for.
Keep working.
Don't be too loud.
The neighbors are
trying to sleep.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(CHUCKLES)
You expect me to
be okay with this?
I worked hard on it.
Shawn, you've been at this
for hours now.
The nails aren't
pounded in all the way,
the base has gotta be
up off the ground.
If it rains, the rain's
gonna flow right in.
And who's gonna fit in
through that door?
That door's not high enough.
I built it, dad,
what do you want me to do?
I want you to do it right.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(SHAWN GRUNTING)
Listen, dr. Sloane,
if I can get you this
product this afternoon,
would it be possible
to sit down with you
to discuss the...
m-a...
the unbelievable results
we've been having...
...0...
i'm sorry.
Can I call you back?
Thanks.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Burton Guster. Shawn?
You're in the hospital?
What happened?
(GROANING)
You call your dad?
I'm fine.
They're releasing me.
Did you call him?
Gus, I am not gonna
talk to my dad.
He'd wanna know
you're okay.
All he cares about
are results.
Just like those possessed
spelling bee parents.
You know what's
wrong with this?
All of this.
Shawn, you're delirious.
You're upset.
You lost control of
your bike last night.
Gus, I didn't lose
control of anything.
Someone tried
to kill me or send
a very serious message.
Brendan appreciates you
checking on him.
Well, we were in
the neighborhood.
And, Gus here
is a huge fan.
He almost won the
spelling bee himself.
I took some bad advice.
Well, Brendan's
going home tomorrow.
He's fine.
He's more upset about
missing the spelling bee.
Well, maybe they'll decide
to redo the whole thing.
Why'd they do that?
Did you see the inhaler?
Same one as that
little Czech kid?
Get me a seating chart.
I'll bet you I know
who Brendan was sitting
next to on day one.
I already checked it out.
Nice!
Shawn, something's
going on with
that Czech kid.
Talk to me.
The doctor on his inhaler,
dr. Zavin, in Ventura?
Yeah?
He doesn't exist.
I do training on that route.
The last doctor in the book
is Youngerman.
I double-checked it today.
You're saying that inhaler...
is a fake.
(LAUGHING)
Where you going?
I am going to build
a doghouse!
I thought you gave up.
Yeah, well, it doesn't
appear so, huh?
What happened to your leg?
Absolutely nothing.
You're running your roofing
vertical there, huh?
Yeah.
You might wanna pop
a ridge beam in first.
Well, yeah, that's a given.
What the hell
are you doing?
I'm gonna help you.
You've never helped me
before, ever.
You've never asked.
Put a nail in here.
All right. This is weird.
No, thanks.
Not bad.
(SCOFFS)
"Not bad"?
It's like the park Hyatt
for poodles.
Will you call jack Syklan?
What is this?
Your results.
We had an agreement.
This is a derivative
of methyl parathion.
High-grade stuff.
Whatever you're into,
I want you to get out quick.
I'm not kidding.
Wait a sec. How did you
get this so quickly?
Hmm? Oh, Syklan's a part
of my poker game.
So you didn't even
have to call him?
That game was at his house.
And I did all of that
for nothing?
For nothing? Shawn,
you've never completed
a thing in your life.
Now you have.
Poisoned?
I feel somebody
poisoned his food.
There is a
styrofoam container, yes,
and a...
(GROANING)
"Happiness is a golden poem."
What?
(IMITATES CRACKING)
A fortune cookie!
This is ridiculous.
Is it?
Mr. Spencer, what we have now
points to a medical condition,
not murder.
All appearances show
mr. Cavanaugh having
an anaphylactic reaction.
Not to be out of line,
but that could be triggered
by several types of poisons.
Or altered medications.
Or shellfish, which
he was allergic to.
Those results will show up
in the toxicology report,
which we will have a copy of
in approximately two weeks.
No, no, no!
That'll be too late.
All the contestants
will be gone...
home.
You won't be able to finish
a real investigation.
Chief, I sense this!
Look, something
got out of control
and the perpetrator
was willing to kill
to cover it up!
What proof do you have?
Only what I feel.
Why are you still
listening to this crap?
Dude, what is your glitch?
You! You're my glitch!
Look, he got nowhere
with his little inhaler
assignment,
and then he tells the media
that we had a murder scene!
Cut him loose, Karen!
I mean, do whatever you
think is best, chief.
Mr. Cavanaugh was gonna
make an announcement.
What about that?
The director said
he'd recently spoken
of retiring.
That's not what
he was gonna say.
Oh, you know?
I know.
Mr. Spencer, I asked you
to check in about
the inhaler incident.
If you or your partner
have anything about that,
i'd be happy
to hear about it.
Otherwise...
we gotta get back into
the spellmaster's room.
Are you serious?
Gus, the killer was there!
There's gotta be
some other piece
of evidence inside.
We're not gonna have
time to get in there.
Besides, it's locked.
We'll make it work.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
How hard is it to
get into this event
without a ticket?
Impossible.
The new spellmaster.
Check it out.
It's exactly what
I was hoping you'd say.
You can't do
that to him!
Gus, he has to learn
sometime that smoking
is bad for him.
We're picking it up
as a new round commences.
A lot of excitement
in the air.
Ooh, yeah.
The tension is becoming
butyraceous, bud.
(GROANS)
I'm so sorry
if my agonizing pain
is inconveniencing you.
What's this?
It's a mark on a carpet.
Let's go.
Someone must have
heard that.
Man: Thirty seconds.
Live to air.
Positions, please.
Time's up, Shawn.
(GRUNTS)
Did you hear me, Shawn?
I've got something!
Yes!
Ten seconds.
Prepare the next word.
That can't be right.
It doesn't mean anything,
Shawn, let's go.
Broadcast in five,
four, three, two...
maybe this direction.
Hello? We need the word now.
Is everything okay?
Leann, something's wrong,
send security.
No, sorry for the delay.
Give me a word!
A word?
Yeah! Something hard,
but something you can spell.
I can spell anything.
Except "aggiornamento."
Give me one!
No!
You are not gonna
be spellmaster!
Gus, give me a word so
we can get out of here!
We're so close!
Is everything okay up there?
It's fine.
"Banana."
Can you repeat that?
Yes.
"Banana. "
"Banana," Shawn?
This is the third round!
You could have helped me!
This is a dead end, Shawn,
we're walking. Let's go!
Definition, please?
What?
(FEEDBACK)
A yellow fruit.
Also, a kind of pudding.
A delicious pudding.
Sentence, please?
"Anna banana would
like to hear Venus
by Bananarama. "
"Banana. "
B-a-n-a-n-a. Banana.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
Oh, wait a second,
i've got something!
Dude, we got him!
He was watching the Czech.
Let me see.
We need to get
the next word.
Give me a word.
No!
You're ruining
the whole event!
Suit yourself.
"Onion. "
"Onion? "
"Onion? "
"Onion? "
Even dan Quayle
could spell that.
O-n-l-o-n. Onion.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Are we off the list, bill?
No, everything's fine.
You're using
his grocery list!
You refused to help me!
Now I gotta give them
something else.
"Mitchum. "
(ALL LAUGHING)
"Mitchum"?
Yes.
"When I go to Albertsons,
I need to buy some
Mitchum ice blast. "
"And bananas. "
That wasn't me!
I was locked outside.
I have a reputation
to uphold!
So he was watching the Czech,
we have no proof.
There was no film
in the camera!
He was using that lens
for something else besides
taking pictures. Now, what?
Cavanaugh was known
for ferreting out
rule breakers.
He once caught a kid
stealing the advance
word list.
And everything he did
had a purpose.
You couldn't have
grabbed one of these
five minute ago?
Man: We're down to
the final two spellers.
This has been
a hard-fought battle
right from the start!
We've had tragedy,
controversy,
but when it really mattered,
these kids put together
a fantastic display
of the power of learning.
(SCOFFS)
Look at this. Brendan vu
went down on "gladiolus."
So?
So? If i'd been able to see
any of the competition,
I could have told you
that was the winning word
from the first spelling bee
in 1929.
Okay, you're
scaring me again.
All of these words
from that round were
the winning words.
They do that once in a while,
they make it a theme round.
This one won the 1985 bee,
this one from 1943.
Gus, what are
you saying?
Guess which kid got
the winning word from 1953?
You're staring at his father.
Gus, that's who Cavanaugh
was gonna disqualify.
That's what he was
tracking in the rulebook!
1953! It was 1953.
Fineman: JirI prochazka,
you have the next word.
"Mastoparietal. "
Part of speech?
It is an adjective.
(STAMMERING) could i
have the definition?
Yes.
"Relating to
the mastoid portion
of the temporal bone,
"and to the parietal lobe. "
M...
...a- s-t...
...o- p-a-r-i...
I got him.
Let's call the chief.
And this year's winner of the
Central California Regionals
is jiri prochazka!
(SHAWN WHOOPING)
Move out, people,
this is what you
came to see, right here.
This is it! Yes!
This competition meant
everything to Miklous!
Oh, boy! Gus!
Gus, here we go!
Gus, it's happening!
(GROANING)
I know who killed
Elvin Cavanaugh.
Can't he ever
just tell us to
arrest someone?
He does this a lot?
Both: Yes.
I'm sorry. I'm kind of
a slave to my visions.
I'm a slave.
Do you want me
to cuff him?
Why would I want that?
Just a suggestion.
They just sort of come
when they wanna come, and...
jiri.
Spell "soubrette."
Why is this man speaking?
You can't, can you?
Not without help
from your dad.
And that's not
a real inhaler,
is it?
This is crazy, this...
this...
Shawn: Cheating was
Cavanaugh's obsession.
He was gonna expose you
as a cheater.
He was gonna disqualify jiri,
and you knew it,
and you couldn't
let that happen.
You had way too much
to lose.
You slipped into the box.
You knew his comfort
was food!
He was dangerously unhealthy!
He's starting
to go into shock.
You knew he wouldn't
stop the bee!
He never stops the bee!
By the end of the round,
it was too late!
Too dizzy to walk,
he stumbles...
he tumbles over the rail,
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Crashes onto
the chairs below.
And there goes
the evidence.
Except for one thing.
That inhaler.
It sends electronic signals!
The transmitter
is in your jacket.
You sent the signals
from the audience to
the stage.
And I bet at your home,
we'll find the van
that ran me off the road
when I alerted the police!
Dangerous cocktail,
unforgiving poisons.
You don't need it.
I took your advice.
I ran the Chinese
food through the lab,
nothing's definite.
I'm sorry.
He just seemed sure.
I took a shot.
(INAUDIBLY)
I'll take it from here.
I could've won
that thing.
(CAR STARTS)
Yeah, you could've.
Thank the lord
you didn't.
What is that supposed
to mean?
Oh, Gus.
The guy who wins?
Saddled forever as,
you know, the dude that
won the spelling bee.
I'm sure you would've
dealt with it later,
but kids, high school
kids, especially,
they're just ruthless,
judgmental.
Horrible little bastards.
You wouldn't have
been able to date
a cheerleader.
They wouldn't
have invited you
to any parties.
You'd have been
the object of ridicule.
I mean, this way,
you got to be a smart kid
and a cool kid.
Best of both worlds.
That's true.
I appreciate that, Shawn.
Yeah, it's a nice balance.
That's why I had to
give you the wrong letter.
You knew that was wrong?
Oh, come on, Gus.
"Aggiornamento"?
Everybody knew
it was an "i".
All right, you hold on.
You were happy
one second ago.
I was about to win!
I studied for three months.
Yeah, and you would
have kept studying
forever and ever!
All the way till nationals!
But you're upset now,
I can see that.
But you'll be fine
with it later.
You know what that did to me?
Yes, yes, I do.
We went out
the next night,
and you were so flustered
that you threw caution
to the wind,
and you hooked up with
Melinda Castleberg!
It was nice!
Come here, Shawn!
At least I was honest.
Come here!
Ah, Shawn, what a coincidence.
Yeah, I was just reading
the newspaper,
a little article that
sounded very familiar
about a spelling bee.
Thanks for the help, dad.
Police ever get
that evidence?
Yeah, a funny little bird
tipped them off.
Leg doing better?
It's getting there,
doesn't hurt so bad.
Listen, dad, the thing
about the house, the dog,
it was kind of a big deal.
And I know I held
a grudge about it
for a while.
But I think
you were right.
A dog needs a house,
and a doghouse needs
an occupant,
so as a token of
my appreciation,
I left you
a little something.
Sincerely,
thanks.
Shawn. Shawn!
No. No way!
Enjoy, dad.
Shawn, you gotta take
this thing with you!
You kidding? There's no pets
allowed in my apartment!
I'm gonna stick it
on the street, Shawn!
I swear i'm gonna stick...
Shawn!
(SNICKERING)
Shawn!
He's not gonna keep
that thing, you know.
It's my neighbor's dog.
Shawn!
Take a lap around the block.
Let him stew a little bit.
I'm gonna take it,
and i'm gonna go,
and i'm gonna
stick it on the street!
Shawn! Shawn!
♪ ♪ In between the lines
there's a lot of obscurity ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ I'm not inclined
to resign to maturity ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ If it's all right
then you're all wrong ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ But why bounce around
to the same damn song? ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ You'd rather run
when you can't crawl ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ I know, you know
that i'm not telling the truth ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ I know, you know
they just don't have any proof ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ Embrace the deception
learn how to bend ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ Your worst inhibitions
tend to psych you out
in the end ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ I know, you know ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ I know, you know ♪ ♪