Project Mc² (2015–2017): Season 4, Episode 303 - Bad Air Day - full transcript

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[theme song playing]

[gasps and laughs] I'm rescued!
I'm free! Yes!

High five! Bring it in. No?

I figured we'd stumble upon
the usual suspects down here.

Spiders. Rats. Maybe a skeleton or two.

Definitely not
a high-fiving fugitive scientist.

[stammers] Uh, you people
are here to rescue me, right?

No, Professor Kato.
If anything, we're here to arrest you.

What?

For attempting to steal the nano prototype
from Space Inc.?

[stammers] No, no, I didn't try
to steal it. I was kidnapped!



-Kidnapped?
-By who? Whom?

Is it "who" or "whom"?

Simple rule is, "He and she is who.
Him and her is whom."

So if he was kidnapped by him or her,
it's "kidnapped by whom."

-Go on.
-I've been held captive here.

-So the distress signal we heard...
-Clearly worked. [chuckles]

Due to the danger
of the project I was working on,

I swallowed a tracking device
nano beacon as a precaution.

That way, if anything bad happened,
you... you could find me.

[sighs]

Whoever took me spoke a few words
of a foreign language.

I bet it was Bulgarian!

When I was little, my papa was stationed
at the embassy in Sofia.

I reviewed the audio
from the security tapes.



The suspect who McKeyla fought
spoke Bulgarian.

Professor, it looks like
someone is setting you up.

I told you, I'm not trying
to steal the prototype.

If anything, I... I would destroy it

to stop it from getting
into the wrong hands.

I believe him. He's innocent.

Meaning whoever kidnapped him
is still out there.

I was wrong again.

M, you can't blame yourself.

Professor Kato,
we found your hidden flash drive.

We already know the prototype can
replicate out of control.

We know it could go viral.

It would spread across the globe faster
than that Grumpy Cat video.

But it's worse than that.

The ampule that contains the prototype,

it acts as a sort of a protective cocoon.

But if it's released, there is nothing
on earth that can stop it. Nothing.

The prototype is safe for now.

Wonderful. Now, just get me out of here
and I'll dismantle it.

We're so sorry, Professor,

but we're gonna need you to stay hidden
in here for now.

We need the nano prototype
to be where it is.

To lure in these bad guys.

And it's for your safety as well.

[stammering] No, I haven't had
a decent meal since they brought me here.

You can't leave me stuck in here
with this atomic-era canned food.

-[gags]
-[can clatters]

I have just the thing.

Piper nigrum should do the trick.

Piperine is a chemical bond
found in black pepper,

which gives food its much-needed flavor!

-That's not actually too bad.
-Careful. It's got a kick.

We'll be back for you
as soon as we solve the case.

[exhaling heavily] Whoo!

Whoo, that's hot!

I was so sure Kato was our man.

How did I totally misread the clues?

M, we all misread the same clues.

Yeah, when it came to Professor Kato,
we were barking up the wrong tree.

Do dogs even solve crimes?

Because they should!
That would be so adorable.

Guys, I really appreciate
you having my back,

but this is my case.

I blew it, and now I have to fix it.

[both sigh]

M, I think it's time
we pay Dr. Crawford another visit.

She's the only other person that had
unrestricted access to the prototype.

Well, besides my dad.

Can you imagine... him, a master criminal?

[all laugh]

-LOL.
-Never.

Dr. Crawford it is.

[cell phone chimes]

[Kyle] Hey. Sure would like to talk.

I'll text him back later.

I need to get to Space Inc. to analyze
Dr. Crawford's digitalized phone logs

before she gets to work.

Hold up, M.
You really do need to see this.

[A.D.I.S.N.] Kyle made you a video!

-[beeps]
-Hi, McKeyla.

Hi, Kyle.

I'm hoping that right now
you're saying, "Hi, Kyle," back.

She did! He knows her so well.

Anyway, I'm sending you this video
because I got you something.

It's a little congratulations present.

Since you got that internship
at Space Inc.,

I got you...

your own... star!

[all] Aw!

See this... See this tiny dot?

That is your star. And its coordinates are
in the constellation Ursa Major.

Your favorite, right?

[all] Aw!

There's more.

Uh, I will give it to you
next time I see you. Bye.

-Bye, Kyle.
-[beeps]

That was pretty romántico, right?

Kyle's amazing. And...

getting my very own exploding ball
of hydrogen and helium

is kind of like my dream gift.

[sighs] But, right now, I need to focus
on this case and nothing else.

-So who wants to tell Kyle how it went?
-[all] Not it.

[Charles speaking Bulgarian]

[continues speaking Bulgarian]

A.D.I.S.N., is Mr. Coyle speaking
what I think he's speaking?

[A.D.I.S.N.] If you're thinking
it's Bulgarian, then yes!

[processing]

My translation software confirms it.

He just said, "When do you want to meet?"

[Jenny] McKeyla?

Oh... hi, Jenny.

Uh, I was just, uh, dropping off some mail
for Mr. Coyle.

[chuckles]

In early, McKeyla. Setting the bar high
for Space Inc. interns, eh? [chuckles]

Whoo!

-Um, you are an early bird, too, Jenny.
-[chuckles] Good morning, Charles.

Dr. Thompson wants to speak to you about
the latest research with TRAPPIST-1f.

He sounds pretty excited.

That's the star
that was discovered to have

seven Earth-sized planets orbiting it.

It could potentially support life.

[cheers and chuckles]

[chuckles] Let's go talk to Dr. Thompson.

[phone ringing]

Oh, um... Could you get that, McKeyla?
Tell 'em I'll be back in about 30.

-Sure.
-Thanks.

Charles Coyle's office.

[Wally] Hi, this is Wally Smith,
one of Charles' poker buddies.

May I take a message?
Mr. Coyle should be back soon.

He's back at work? Good.

Just tell him I'm glad he's feeling better

and I look forward
to taking his money next week.

-Mr. Coyle was sick?
-Yeah. Missed our last poker game.

Told us he was down for the count
with the flu.

I'll buzz him later. Buh-bye.

Cam said Charles called her
from his poker game.

[A.D.I.S.N. speaking Bulgarian]

Bulgarian for "This isn't good."

[Bry sighs]

You might wanna look away, people.

Your girl Bry has been tasked
with the impossible.

Conquering the man-made monstrosity
known as the Wall of Dishes.

-[oven dings]
-[timer meowing]

[Adri panting]

Eso es todo! This is it!

[sighing] My soufflé, my space menu
legacy, should finally be ready.

-Do I look dressed for success?
-Thumbs up emoji.

-It collapsed again?
-[gasps]

[yelling in Spanish]

[typing]

Okay, I can't translate that fast,
but it smells great.

It's supposed to be
a mesmerizing, airy confection.

Like the wings of an angel.

-Then we'll just try again.
-I've been trying.

It needed to be perfecto!
Better than perfecto!

Well, we have a few days
before Olivia James shows.

-You could think of something else.
-I need time! [sighs]

-This is all your fault, Bryden.
-My fault, Adrienne?

It was your idea to bring
Olivia James to Café Attoms,

and your idea to go with the soufflé.

[scoffs] Adri, I thought that working
with you this summer would be fun.

Two friends in it together.
Well, turns out, it's zero fun.

It's into the negative numbers territory
not fun.

And my battery is at 0%
from all the translating.

That's not mi problema.

[scoffs] I don't need a translator
for that.

It's not my problem, either. I'm out.

I'm leaving to refind my mantra!

[sighs]

This is ridiculous!
Adri is totalmente loca!

OMGsies, I'm even melting down
in Spanish like her.

Charles Coyle?

This is his personal file.
You're spying on Cam's dad?

There's a new development.
And it isn't good.

Look, Cam's dad lied to her
about the night of the break-in.

He wasn't at poker.

But Mr. C never lies. I've seen him
talk himself into a speeding ticket.

M.C.I.T.U.G.G.

Man, Cam being at camp
is really hurting my acronym game.

Mr. Coyle is the ultimate good guy.

Well, there's more.

Mr. Coyle told Cam he paid for
Destination Mars Camp with his work bonus.

But payroll shows no record of a bonus.

But... but Mr. C taught me
the butterfly loops

to tie my shoes when I was five.
Does that not count for anything?

Look, I get it. He's an amazing father.
We'd all love to have a dad like him.

[sighs] A.D.I.S.N. and I learned
something else.

[A.D.I.S.N.] Mr. Coyle is
secretly meeting someone

in the Space Inc. parking lot in one hour!

Bry, if Cam's dad is involved
in stealing the prototype,

he could be meeting an accomplice.

Look, I know it's hard,
but personal feelings aside,

I'm gonna solve this case.

Fine. But Cam can't know
we suspect her dad.

Okay. Well, we need to set a team
in place.

-We'll stop by Café Attoms and grab Adri.
-No, please, I just came from there.

It's nothing but broken egg dreams
and chaos!

Adri speaks Bulgarian.

-A.D.I.S.N. can translate.
-[door closes]

[sighs] And no one listens to Bry.

[sighs] We have the perfect view
of the stairwell door from here.

[Bry grunts]

Here, McKeyla, stand next to me.

That's exactly what I was gonna suggest.

Okay, whatever's going on with you two,
you need to knock it off.

-I need you to focus.
-[cell phone chimes]

It's Cam. She wants to know where I am.

What do I say? I can't tell her the truth,
and I can't lie.

I always respond to her texts
within 5.3 seconds exactly.

If I take any longer,
she's gonna think I'm phubbing her.

-Phubbing?
-Phone snubbing!

[vehicle approaching]

[horn honking]

[both speaking Bulgarian]

[sighs] I can't believe I'm using
Cam's own sound catcher invention

to bust her dad.

[man speaking Bulgarian]

"Can I see the goods?"

[speaking Bulgarian]

"You won't find this quality
anywhere else."

[in English] Yo, pops,
can we ditch the Bulgarian?

-"Yo, Pops, can we ditch the..."
-Yeah, we got that part, thanks.

My grandpa only taught me so much.

[chuckles] Sorry. I took a college
semester abroad in Bulgaria, and I...

I just never get a chance to speak it.

I didn't know that señor studied
in Bulgaria.

My daughter's on the premises.

I... I didn't want her to discover
what I'm up to.

Iron Man 55.
This is the first appearance of Thanos.

I used to read it to Camryn.
It's her favorite.

Mr. C is selling comic books?

Mr. C is selling comic books,
not nano secrets!

I hate to part with this, but...

my daughter's dream
is Destination Mars Camp.

This covers the tuition.

Aw.

Old people problems, yo. Can't relate.

[engine starts]

How can I keep getting it all wrong?

On the bright side, you being wrong
means that Mr. C's innocent.

Now, he can enjoy a taste of Bulgaria
with me as a free man.

[A.D.I.S.N.] And you two are
talking again!

-Por favor, I was just making small talk.
-[scoffs] No. I was just commenting.

[Bryant] When the shuttle
enters the Mars atmosphere,

the friction slows the spaceship
from 13,200 miles per hour

to 1,000 miles per hour.

We do use different mechanisms
to land safely.

In today's challenge,

you'll design and build
a landing system for a raw egg.

Commence Operation Egg Shuttle Drop.

The foam balls act like airbags,

spreading the kinetic energy
to diffuse the force of the landing.

-And T.W. nails the landing!
-[chuckling]

It's actually T-Dubs.

-Never mind. You're catching on.
-[chuckles]

My triangular design of bamboo strips
and horsetail rushes

keeps the egg snug as a bug in a rug.

I was inspired
by the Curiosity rover landing.

My Four Propeller Battery-Operated Drone
with Landing Straws Delivery Shuttle.

My popcorn ball has no edges,

and the rubber ball will absorb
the landing impact.

Plus, once it lands...

you can eat it.

My turn.

Gordon, what were your Splat calculations
with your design?

Oh, my Splat calcs? Well, you know me.
I prefer to fly by the seat of my pants.

Well, your pants
should have factored in velocity,

acceleration, density and gravity.

You know, Cam, you constantly surprise me
with how smart you are.

Ooh!

Campfire and Gordon, sitting in a tree...

Zach, seriously,
do you and your annoying brother

get tired of finding Cam-related names
to torture me? Because I do.

Nope. Camsterdam. Camilton.

Green Eggs and Cam.

Sorry, I kind of got caught up.

It's actually pretty clever.

Oh, ditched.

Is it just me, or is something suspicious
about Gordon?

I mean, think about it.

He didn't know the right percentage
of bone density loss in space.

He had no idea how to build
a basic capacitor for the ham radio.

And now with his egg shuttle,
he's recreating Up?

Plus, he's always on his phone,
all secret-like.

[Ember] I took this photo of all of us
on our first day.

I'll send it to Bry.

She can do an image search on the guy,
see what we can dig up.

I'll text McKeyla to meet us after camp.

We may have our new suspect.

[A.D.I.S.N.] M, I know I'm not Devon
or the Quail or human,

but I'm very good at this.

NOV-Eight's got me on their short list
of computer driving instructors.

-You can do this.
-That's just it, A.D.I.S.N. I can't.

I can't move forward.
I don't trust my instincts.

At all.

I get the feeling we're not just talking
about driving, are we?

Look, I listened to my so-called instincts

when I moved in on the intruder
at the Space Inc. break-in.

That was wrong.

Then I listened when my instincts
told me Professor Kato was guilty.

Wrong again.

Then I followed my instincts
when they said Cam's dad was the bad guy.

Three wrongs in a row.
What kind of agent am I?

[chimes] It's Camryn. She and Ember
want you to meet them at Space Inc. ASAP.

Okay, a brisk walk might be nice.

-What about me?
-I got this one.

Weird. We followed Gordon here,

and he hasn't budged from the men's room
since the end of camp.

He's been in there for hours.
What's he doing?

I am perfectly a-okay
leaving that answer a mystery.

[cell phone chimes]

It's Bry. She ran a facial recognition
from our photo.

Whoa.

Whoever's hiding in there
isn't Gordon Whitmore.

This is Gordon Whitmore.

-Then who is in the men's room?
-[door opens]

Drop it and turn around.

You're busted, Gordon. Or whoever you are.

Don't turn me in. I'm an extreme blogger.

-Say what now?
-Look, my name is Ryker Whittaker.

I star in my own blog called I Dare Ya!

Look, I knew
I was gonna get recognized and outed.

I Dare Ya! gets, like,
100,000 hits a week.

And clearly none of them are
from you guys.

I post stories from places
that ordinary people can't go.

Once, I blogged from Mount Rushmore.

Inside Jefferson's left nostril.

So what are you doing at Space Inc.?

My followers send in challenges.

The... the latest was to bypass
the top-secret clearance

and get into Space Inc.

-One of my super-smart fans...
-Wild guess.

-Gordon Whitmore?
-Yeah, that's the dude!

He invented that, like,
exercise machine thingy

that got me
into the Destination Mars Camp.

All this time,
we've had a fox in the henhouse.

[softly] Very clever.

I know, right? Like, I've gotten
some awesome footage.

This airlock is sick!

Unbelievable. Another dead end.

Grab him, and let's get out of here.

Someone's locked us in here.

[door latch rattles]

[generator powering down]

-The airlock is depressurizing!
-The oxygen levels are dropping.

We'll run out of breathable air
in minutes.

What? No air? [whimpers]

I'm gonna pass out.
Oh, I'm gonna pass out.

-[Ryker breathing heavily]
-Wait a minute. That's it!

-The chlorate candle!
-The what?

Flight Engineer Bryant went over this.
Weren't you listening?

We'll take that as a no.

She told us they're used
as back-up oxygen supply on airplanes,

mine rescues, with firefighters...

And on the International Space Station,
in case of an emergency.

It's made out of sodium chlorate.

When it's heated,
it breaks down into oxygen and table salt.

Totally harmless.

[chuckles] Wow, like,
I know these two are smart,

but how's the intern know all this?

It's on my résumé. It's how I got the job.

We just have to pull this pin.
It'll ignite what's inside

and should generate enough oxygen
to buy us more time.

But is it safe?

Flight Engineer Bryant explained
that it's wrapped in thermal insulation,

protecting the equipment,
and, in this case, us.

[gas hissing]

[Cam] Oxygen level is rising!

Nice job.
But we've still gotta get out of here.

[Cam] They now use
heat-strengthened glass.

If we had a glass cutter,
we could cut the airlock window.

Did y'all know

when carbon is subjected to intense heat
and pressure over long periods of time,

it creates diamonds?
Hardest substance on earth.

That's super cool,

but can we save the geology lesson
until we're breathing fresh air?

My great-granny's diamond necklace.

She gave it to me for my last birthday.

GG was the only thing tougher
than this here diamond.

Which, as everyone here,
except probably Ryker, knows...

Can cut glass.
And I have just what we need.

-Is that a power drill and superglue?
-What can I say? I like to be prepared.

A diamond-tipped cutting tool!

[whirring]

M, wanna do the honors?

Note to self,

use my status as a Space Inc. intern
to put in a maintenance repair order.

[all gasping]

[Ryker] We're alive. We're alive.

You girls rock.

[panting] We did survive.

But who was trying to make sure
we wouldn't?

[theme song playing]