Project Mc² (2015–2017): Season 2, Episode 1 - Back to Basics - full transcript

It's too tight. I can't move.

-Neither can I.
-We're running out of time.

One minute.

I can't believe we're going to be dropped
into a pit of piranhas!

I hate piranha.
They're like goldfish with teeth.

Sharks would be better.
One bite and it's over.

-Or alligators.
-Or koala bears.

They'd hug us to death. It'd be adorable!

I would so post that.

Brazilian wandering spider.
One bite and we're toast.

Suddenly piranha don't sound so bad.



We agree. Okay, piranhas.

Hold on, guys. I have an idea.

Adri, do you have your compact?

-Am I shiny?
-A little, but that's not why I need it.

Cam, reach into Adri's pocket,
then hand it to me.

Oh, so she's the shiny one.

I was going to say something,
but I didn't think now was the time.

I see where you're going.

All you have to do is move it
so the solar radiation hitting the lens

focuses to a tiny point,
generating a lot of heat.

Thirty seconds.

Focus the light onto the rope.

It's working!

♪ Oh yeah, oh yeah ♪



♪ We're free
We're unstoppable ♪

And still trapped in here!

My nail polish!

You think
now is the time to do your nails?

That's not what I had in mind.

-Temporarily blinded! Not good.
-Sorry.

Ten seconds.

There's gotta be a way out!

I will not be happy
if I become a piranha's Happy Meal.

I just wanted to say,
if we go out this way,

I really enjoyed working with you.

Guys, I brought you into NOV-Eight.

I'll sacrifice myself.
Maybe the piranha will get full.

-No, we came in as one...
-We'll go out as one.

I agree. We let the fish choose.

Time.
You are all terminated.

-Training session failure.
-Great.

Failure is a little harsh.

We did get out of the chairs this time.

Remind me again
why we have to go through all this?

This is so exciting!

I never get tired of celebrating us.

We are so trending right now.

S.B.S.W.E!

I know. Stopping Black Star was epic!

For the record,

the success of your mission
was mostly due to my BFF, McKeyla.

I'm just saying.

Hey, what about the sweet new lab?

It's so magnífico!

- Hashtag, amazeblogs!
- Guys, it's on.

A quick follow-up to an earlier story
regarding the plot to steal cyber data

by the Black Star security company
during a recent shuttle launch.

Sources tell us
that the four Maywood Glen Academy girls

credited with saving the day had,

in fact,
nothing to do with saving the day.

Just four kids in the right place
at the right time.

Charming? Yes.

- Heroes? Not.

But we stopped Black Star.

We were heroes.

I'm calling someone.

Wait, who am I calling?

Oh, no! My followers are unfollowing me!

Por un momento,

we had become the most popular
secret spies in town!

-There must be some mistake.
-Yeah.

Wait, maybe this isn't a mistake.

You're right.

McKeyla, you of all people should've known
that for a secret agent to be successful,

she needs to remain secret.

It has to be enough
to know your capabilities and strengths.

Public praise is not something we seek.

I seek it.

Sorry, I guess
we did get a little caught up.

And that's why
I had to re-establish your cover.

Now, before you'll be assigned
another case,

I'm sending you all
back to basic training.

Until then, you'll return
to Maywood Glen Academy

as ordinary students.

Girls, I know you'll do your best
to help McKeyla fit in.

Wait, why do I have to go back to basic?

I mean, it's not as if
I made that big of a scene.

- Really?

You certainly
got your groove on, M.

Okay. But...
I still don't think it's necessary--

This is not up for discussion.

You have your orders.

That's a side of Quail
we haven't seen before.

-Hashtag, harsh.
-Tell me about it.

Can you imagine
her being your mom?

Nightmare.

One day, I will come
face-to-face with this Quail,

and I will have words for her!

And the first word
that comes to mind is...

Stylish!

- Yeah.
- You look awesome.

And I love your shoes!

What? I've never seen her below the waist.

Hello, Adrienne, Bryden, Camryn.

Guys, uh, meet my mom.

Nice to meet you, Mrs. Quail.

It's Mrs. McAlister outside the lab.

Now, have a good day at school.

And remember,
McKeyla's always been a little socially...

challenged.

Do your best to help her out.

You know, up until third grade,

she wouldn't leave the house
without Mr. Fuzzy Bear.

Remember, honey?

- Mom.
- Sorry.

Love you, sweetheart.

Well... that was muy awkward.

Well... this is sketch.

- Super sketch.

These kids think we lied
about being spies.

-What are you typing?
-I'm responding to haters on my feed.

Take that, Archfire22!
You've just been schooled.

Wait. Too much. Now I feel bad.

- JK, Archfire22! Winky ghost, happy cat.

- Having haters is hard.

Oh, no, you didn't, Beboop16!
Frowny face, angry robot!

Hey, McKeyla.

You look like
an average high school student.

- And I mean that in a good way.
- Thanks.

Oh, hey, Randy.
How's your hamster Leonardo?

He's buried in my backyard.

Oh, hey, Taylor.
Congrats on giving up the night light.

Do you know these kids?

Oh, yeah. Like the back of my hand.

I sit up all night memorizing each
student's face and personal background.

I thought it'd help me blend in.

You were wrong!

It makes you appear kind of loca.

McKeyla, relax. You'll be fine, mija.

Better than fine.

In fact, you should run
for class president.

You know the rules.

Quail said no spying at school...

-which includes talking notebooks.
-Right.

Fine, be that way.
But I'm here if you need me.

Look, I'm just not used to this
"being a regular civilian" thing.

I never spent much time in any one place.

Each assignment took us to a new town.

Well, now you're one of us.

Oh, hey, Shelly.

- Good luck with the LASIK.

Okay, now you're acting weird again.

Wow, can't believe
tech fair's here already.

This year it's mine.

What's doing, camouflage?

Justin, it's Camryn Coyle.
For the millionth time.

Signing up for the tech fair, I see.

I'm surprised you're up for it
after last year's embarrassing defeat.

The only thing embarrassing

was losing to a guy
whose best friend is a mirror.

Whoa, hold up there, chamomile.

- Don't be such a sore loser.

Why don't you save yourself
the pain of failing?

I know how sensitive you can be.

Sensitive.

Justin, this year my girls and I
have something epic in store.

Oh, really?
You and your little "spy club"?

As a matter of fact, we're...

building our own car.

And it runs on...

water!

Please.

Not only that,
its top speed will kick your--

Hey, how about we
just keep the rest a surprise?

The guy's such a jerk!

Cam signed us up for the tech fair.

Apparently we're building
a water-powered car.

Okay, well,
I'm glad you chose something easy.

We shouldn't be underestimated.

We're not just bedazzled.

We're bedazzling!

Hey, girls!

Can you try and kick the ball back?

You can do it.

Use all your big-girl muscles.

I got this.

I worked a case in Brazil.
I played a lot of football.

Yes! Buh-bye!

Hi.

Hello.

Uh... I saw you outside.

Uh, just before, um...

I'm Kyle, uh...

I... I just wanted to say, um...

yeah, really nice kick out there.

Um...

Uh, oh, yeah.

A spinning ball
deflects the air rushing by it,

and the air responds
by deflecting the ball through the curve.

It's called the Magnus effect.

The tree was 22 feet from Justin,

so traveling at 50 miles per hour,
he only had 0.3 seconds to respond.

Oh, yeah.

Well, uh...

I will see you, um... later.

Bye.

Flawlessly handled, McKeyla.

Come on, A.D.I.S.N. Be honest.

Hey, you asked.

--Basic spy training is not easy.

But helping you fit in?

That will be our assignment más difícil.

I know we can do it this time!

Two minutes.

There's got to be a way out of here.

There is.

So... how do we get up there?

-Adri, do you still have your nail polish?
-Mmm-hmm.

Metallic Rose or Ruby Sunset?

I carry extra in case of emergency.

This is clearly an emergency.

The nitrocellulose polymers
in the polish will act as a binding agent.

Or we could just use my super glue.

Why didn't you start with that?

One minute.

What if the window is sealed?

Guess we'll find out.

Ten seconds.

--It was sealed.

Training session failure.

I know we can figure this out.

This place
can't be completely sealed.

We'd run out of air, right?

Wait, if air is coming in...

It has to be going out.

Bry, I need to borrow your necklace.

McKeyla, I need a rusted leg
off that metal chair, ahora.

Now we need something
that we could use to burn,

to make some smoke.

Burn my socks.

Although, fair warning, we may regret it.

One minute.

When aluminum reacts with rust,
it creates thermite,

which burns
at over 2,000 degrees centigrade.

Mira... the smoke trail is venting
through that seam in the wall.

Perfecto.

--See?

--Let's get out of here.

- Nice job, guys.
- Nailed it.

♪ We did it
We escaped ♪

♪ Go us ♪

While you're enjoying
my abuela's multi-berry muffin,

feel free to sample
Café Attoms' latest specialty.

If you loved Adri's Pink Drink,
and who didn't,

you'll love my Brain Frizz.

The perfect blend of kale, ginger,
natural sugar and CO2.

Excuse me,
are you talking about Brain Frizz,

Café Attoms' all-natural beverage

that just may revolutionize
the coffee industry as we know it?

And totally caffeine free.

Not a drop. But don't go by me.

Trust this culinary chemist.
She knows her stuff.

Me? This is my speed, always.

Though, today, I'm more charged
than usual. Celebrating, actually.

Finally got out of my room.
Was tired of staring at four walls.

Had to escape, if you catch my drift?

Hmm?

Which I'm guessing you won't,
which is a good thing.

-I think I'll pass.
-Aw.

No offense, Bryden,
but I think I may go with Cam next time.

Yeah, I wouldn't blame ya.

I really thought Brain Frizz

was going to be
Café Attoms' specialty drink.

It's hard for a family business like ours

to compete with those
Mocha Frappa Latte places.

I hear ya.

I saw the line outside
of Mocha Frappa Latte this morning.

Wow, your new sound invention is amazing.

-I can even hear them swallowing.
-I know.

I'm calling it
the Stronger Parabolic Reflector

That Creates
a Better Low Frequency Response Catcher.

Or... Sound Catcher 2.0?

That also works. Hear that?

- Quick.
- Hide these.

Just as I suspected.
They're plotting to steal sugar packets!

Okay, we've got to get a real assignment.

Yeah, I'm beginning
to worry about you two.

Breaking news
at the Maywood Glen jail.

Today marks the first day of freedom
after ten years behind bars

for Carson Lazarus, former top agent
of the crime organization HAVOC,

and one of this country's
most notorious criminals.

Mr. Lazarus, how does it feel
to finally be a free man?

Uh, hello!

I can tell you what it's like
to be a free woman.

This man is my Uber driver.
I'm Carson Lazarus!

What? A woman can't be
a criminal mastermind?

I shattered the evil genius glass ceiling
years ago and I'm proud!

Not that I'm still evil.

Ten years of sitting in a cell,
a gal has a lot of time to reflect.

I've changed, seen the error of my ways.

I took up knitting
to help me deal with my anger issues.

So I've decided to start a new life
in the city of Maywood Glen.

And I can assure you from here on out,

Carson Lazarus is just another
ordinary upstanding citizen.

A super criminal moving into Maywood Glen?

That's unsettling.

What's unsettling
is her choice of wardrobe.

My eyes watered.

Wonder if the Quail knows Lazarus.

She knows her.
She's the one who put her away.

We should get back to the lab.

Abuelita, we're leaving!

Where are you going?

-Library!
-Yoga!

Puppy party!

It's the first thing
that came to my mind...

Not the worst idea. W.D.L.A.P.P?

I'm there. Who doesn't love a puppy party?

Carson Lazarus
wasn't always an evil criminal, girls.

In fact, when we weren't
much older than you,

she and I were cadets in advanced training
together at NOV-Eight.

-Friends, actually.
-No way. You were BFFs?

We were close.

And tops in our class.

Mostly because
we pushed each other to be the best.

Until Lazarus snapped during
a group wilderness training exercise.

Out for herself,
she stole our food and water rations.

If it had been real,
our unit wouldn't have survived.

I can relate.

My family went camping and I snapped
after 12 hours off the grid.

Lazarus was terminated from NOV-Eight.

Humiliated, she disappeared.

Later, we discovered
that she'd joined HAVOC,

which, at the time, was nothing but
a small organization of petty criminals.

Lazarus helped build HAVOC
into the worldwide threat it is today.

Until, McKeyla says, you put her away.

For stealing industrial secrets.

Which means
she could hold a grudge

and you could be in danger.

Activate us.
We'll keep an eye on this Lazarus.

-Yeah, we can do that!
-We can do this.

McKeyla, Lazarus's clean prison record
supports her claim she's been reformed.

In the meantime,
NOV-Eight has eyes on her.

For now, my order stands.
You're all to remain inactive.

Are we clear?

-Yes, Mrs. Quail.
-Fine.

You know, we could do

a little investigating
of Lazarus on the DL.

What's the worst that could happen
if the Quail finds out?

She'll ground us?

- You're right, not funny.
- Hey, guys.

Um, just putting this out there.

I'm looking for a study partner

for our Alexander Graham Bell project
for history class.

I mean, just in case
you guys were looking for an expert.

Like, did you know that Bell,
he invented more than just the telephone?

Like, in 1908, he made this big kite,

and it was big enough to hold,
like, a whole person.

-1907.
-Oh, well...

I guess I'm looking for the expert then.

But, I mean,
you two are partnered up, so...

Um, actually, I'm with Randy here.
Right, study buddy?

Absolutely.

Um, but...
McKeyla's looking. Right, M?

Oh, uh... yeah, sure!

Study buddies! Great.

Kyle Lewis, son of Helen
and Dr. Jim Lewis.

Uh... you know my parents' names?

Uh... Yeah.

I mean, you just told me.

-I did?
-Mmm-hmm.

Oh... okay.

Uh... later.

You have got to stop
researching classmates.

- It's supes weird.

But still social progress.

- Victory selfie!

- And sharing with you.

Weird. It's not sending.

- Probably just bad reception.

This is bizarro.
All my texts are disappearing.

All my cupcake dream board
dos are now don'ts.

I invited you guys last night.
I texted you, like, five times.

One level from winning Duty Calls
and the game deletes itself?

Three weeks of my life gone!

I finished the assignment!

I'm telling you,
my computer ate my homework!

Katie, I swear I didn't change
my relationship status

to "anything but Katie."
That's not even a choice.

What's going on?

Ah, that ring takes me back
to the good old days.

Before texting, and Skyping and Snapchat.

Not that any of you would understand

without one of those
irritating emoji faces.

Who is this guy?

I'm sure you're asking yourselves,
"Who is this guy?"

- Whoa.
- Hashtag, freaky.

Call me Retro. And I'm in control now.

Oh, I get it.

Retro! He's throwing us
back... back... back in time.

Whoa, just got dizzy.
My hard drive is spinning.

I sense panic is setting in. Good.

Most of you have had your heads buried
in those pieces of plastic

you call technology for so long,

this is the first time
you're actually looking at each other.

Well, sit back and don't relax.

I'm about to drag you all
back to a simpler time.

Sad face! Join me.

Oh, wait, you don't have a choice.

I'm about to drag you all
back to a simpler time.

Sad face! Join me.

Oh, wait, you don't have a choice.

I don't get it.

We stopped Black Star's plan
to hack the system.

-Did we miss something?
-Or someone?

Wait, maybe Carson Lazarus' release
isn't a coincidence.

- Could she be Retro?
- This isn't her MO.

She's never been one
to deliver a political statement.

Carson Lazarus cares about one thing...

Carson Lazarus.

Gotta give Retro some cred.

He's using technology
to shut down technology.

That's sick!

But sick. The man's pure evil.

Bry, can you lay down a grid
over Retro's image?

I can try,
but things are glitching like crazy.

You won't have that problem here.

NOV-Eight's computer system
is among the most secure in the world.

- We can't be affected.

Hey, you know,
I'm feeling better. If Bryden can't--

-Well, Bryden can.
-Guys, this isn't a competition.

Yeah. Relax, notebook.

Says Miss Has-To-Use-Her-Fingers.

Can you push in 20%?

Another 30% on the TV in the back?

There. Freeze it.
Can you clean up the image?

"Property of MGA."

-Maywood Glen Academy.
-No way!

Uh, I'll go with "every way."

Retro is someone from our school?