Project Mc² (2015–2017): Season 1, Episode 2 - Project Mc² - full transcript

[reporter] And there it is,

Prince Xander's plane
touching down in Maywood Glen.

[girls cheering]

Outside the airport,
it was utter pandemonium

as thousands of young girls tried
to get a glimpse of this sweet prince.

Each one of them hoping that...

[A.D.I.S.N.] Don't worry, McKeyla.

As your best friend,
I support you 100% on this decision...

unless the Quail doesn't agree with you.

-She can have me... recycled.
-[McKeyla chuckles]

[the Quail] Good morning, Agent McAlister.
Excited to lead your new team?



Excited?
Not exactly the word I would choose.

More like apprehensive, concerned, queasy.

What are you afraid of?
A little extra support is a good thing.

It can be.
And, yes, those girls are very smart.

But I don't know anything
about their skill levels.

Plus, you don't need new friends.
You have me!

Relax, A.D.I.S.N.
They're not my new friends.

[A.D.I.S.N.] Yay!

I don't like to share you.

I just doubt they'll take
this job seriously enough.

-[rock music playing]
-[camera clicking]

Which outfit do you think
screams secret agent?

Which one's got the most
pockets for tools?

What do you think, Adri?



One sec, I'm whipping up a batch
of brain-booster cookies

to help us solve the case.

[camera clicking]

They're all nice,

but I think I'd go with
something more... classic.

I just think I'm better off working solo.
I don't want to make a mistake.

I mean, remember last time
NOV-Eight paired me up?

[A.D.I.S.N.] Agent Marsh ended up
in a full body cast!

Fact: I even warned her
before we scaled that building

that my hands get sweaty
when I'm nervous.

It was an accident.

You mustn't allow one slip
to deter you from collaborating.

Yes, but is this really
the time to take chances?

[reporter] But of course, who could forget
the Prince's last highfalutin' stunt

which left him stuck in the middle
of the Andes Mountains for three days.

I mean, he's unpredictable
enough on his own.

Yes, and the threat
to his mission is very real.

Since we have yet to verify its source,

NOV-Eight wants you
to have the extra support.

Is that understood, Agent McAlister?

Understood.

Good.

Now, remember to call Grandma.
It's her birthday.

Don't worry, Mom. I didn't forget.

Love you, sweetheart.

Love you, too, Mom.

[A.D.I.S.N.] Oh, great.
So much for getting out of working

with those clingy troublemakers.

Who knows?
Maybe they'll pleasantly surprise us.

[doorbell ringing]

Surprise!

Oh! Okay. Wow.

Want a smart cookie

before we go protect the Prince
and save the world from evildoers?

No, thanks.

I'm glad to see
you're all so... enthusiastic.

But before we go anywhere,
I'd like to get a sense of your skills.

No worries. We got mad skills.

No doubt. But I'm gonna need
something that shows me

how I can best utilize you
out in the field.

Consider it an ops test?

-An ops test?
-Sounds awesome.

I just can't see anything
in these glasses.

Sweet volcano cake.

But how exactly would this help us
protect the Prince?

Well, what if there's a special occasion
that calls for...

an explosive impact?

[Adri exclaims]

Promising.

Whoops! Got some lava on your cute kicks.

Yes, and now it's oozing down my socks.

Ops test! My turn. Smile!

[camera clicks]

Uh, not sure
the point in taking my picture.

-To show you something special I can do.
-[devices beep]

Uh... [chuckles nervously]
While I appreciate your IT aptitude,

I can't afford to be on every
social media site in the universe!

Maybe you're not getting
the "secret" part in secret agent?

Exhale. I just hacked into
your lab's wireless system

and posted it to the IP addresses
on the devices in this room.

Only we could see it.

-There. Insta-gone.
-Thank you.

-[devices beep]
-Oh!

Hello again!

And buh-bye.

-[loud music playing]
-So your special skill is

torturing the enemy
by bursting their eardrums?

Huh?

Hey, I'm finished!

-What is it?
-Well, it was a bunch of useless parts.

Now, it's a portable police scanner
with added features.

I call it "Cam's Portable Police Scanner
with Added Features."

Wow, you really are bad at naming things.

Wait! That could help us
locate the Prince

from the security detail they're
planning for him. Nice work!

So, did we pass the ops test?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[girls] Yay!

♪ Go us
We passed ♪

-[static crackling]
-[man on radio] We are 8-90-3-3-0-1,

the Reardon Space Training Facility
for backup, over.

[McKeyla] Got it.

We've gotta figure out how to get past
that security perimeter.

Whoa, these spy glasses are pretty rad.

NOV-Eight's got some tight tools.

My turn, my turn! Let me see!

[Adri] Oh!

Do you see that car?

Looks muy suspicious to me.

[Bry] Hmm.

Super sketch.

[McKeyla] That's gotta be them.

Whoever it is that wants to stop
the Prince, they're moving in fast.

We've got to get past that guard
and get to him before they do.

Uh, guys, that was my urgent voice.

Mmm. No biggie. I got this covered.

[phone keypad clicking]

[McKeyla] Amazing.

What did you do?

I just rerouted his computer to stream
an endless loop of funny cat videos.

He should be distracted
for at least an hour.

-Very impressive.
-Thanks!

Let's bolt before he catches on.

Oh, wow. Okay, yeah.

Uh, since NOV-Eight asked me
to guide you through this,

here's lesson number one,
secret agents don't bounce.

-Oopsies.
-And they don't say "oopsies."

[guard] Hey, hey, hey.

Where do you girls think you're going?
And how did you get in here?

Sir, I'm Agent McAlister, and I've been
assigned to watch over the Prince

and ensure that he safely
boards his spaceflight.

Whoa, there, Harriet the Spy.
I look after the Prince, okay?

And there are no visitors allowed inside.

So, you lot are gonna have to go home
and swoon over his SnapBook,

like all the other fan girls, okay?

[Bry chuckles] It's Snapchat.

You see, you were mixing up
Snapchat and Facebook.

[McKeyla] Sir, you don't understand.

I work for an elite group of women
operatives from all over the world.

Hey!

[Bry] Is this what usually happens?

No, not when I'm on my own.

-What do we do now?
-They're never gonna let us in.

You're right. They won't. Not a chance.

And this is what I call a red alert.

[siren blaring]

-Say cheese!
-No, don't post that pic!

Think fast!

Next time we try to
save the world, wear flats.

I would never! Mmm-mmm!

-[girls laughing]
-L.C.T.O.F.A.C.

[Cam] Yeah,
let's call that our flash and crash!

Oh, come on.
How could you possibly guess that acronym?

You're either a super genius
or you're out of your mind.

Can't we be both?

Well, well, well. What do we have here?

No, really. What do we have here?
I am easily confused.

-Prince Xander, we're here--
-My apologies, sir.

They're a lot stronger than they look.

Wait, gents.

I'd like to know what this
pretty lady thinks is so important

that she had to interrupt
my final training session

before I leave the planet.

[clears throat] Jillian, my mouthwash.

Oh, mouthwash, mouthwash... Here you go--

[girls tittering]

Now, what were you saying?

Uh, Prince Xander, sir,
I'm afraid your life is in danger.

I'm a highly-trained operative
sent to protect you

until you're safely on that capsule.

[snickering]

That's a good one.

You fans come up with
the craziest stories.

-Jillian, a pen, please.
-Pen, pen...

[McKeyla] Um, I'm not a fan.

After I sign this for you,
you all have to go.

It's not fair for you all to be here

while the rest of my followers
have to wait for the launch tonight.

I'm not a follower, either. Trust me.

Not a fan, not a follower...

but you are a girl?

Hi, I'm Bry! Bryden is my full name.

Bandweth, that's my last name.
So it's Bryden Bandweth.

Bry, for short. I'm an operative, too.

Well, an operative-in-training. [laughs]

I just rambled in front
of the actual prince! #IRule.

Uh, operatives, you say?

Oh, yes! We work for this amazing
organization of incredibly smart women.

Actually, I work for them,

and the three of you guys
are just helping me out.

Though not at the moment.

Prince Xander,
we have strong reason to believe

that there's a plot in action
at this moment.

People out there could be
trying to kidnap you.

[gasps] Oh, no! People want to kidnap me?

Of course they do! Look at me.

I'm a cross between
Prince Harry and Harry Styles.

I'm like Prince Harry Styles.

-Sure.
-I see that.

Around the eyes.

Look, it's my job to make sure
nothing bad happens to you.

Oh, don't be such a worrywart.
You're wasting your time.

I like to live on the edge.

I'm famous and I like to speak my mind.

If I had a pound for every time
someone threatened my life,

I could take you all to space with me.

Are you serious?

I could hitch a ride on a fully
orbital commercial spacecraft?

Right. You were just making a point.

All I need is for you to stay alive
until the flight, okay?

So if you could please let us
take you somewhere safer than this.

That's what this is all about?

I think I've had enough training
for one day. Jillian, my towel.

I was going to spend the rest
of the afternoon in my hotel suite.

But why not spend it out
with four sharp, cute girls instead?

Ah, sir, it'll be a clearance nightmare
to transport you.

Yes, Your Highness.
And with the launch tonight,

I really don't think
it's a good idea for you to--

Go in my spacesuit. I agree.

Well, what are you waiting for?
Call the driver.

Gather my luggage.
We're going to party, Maywood Glen style.

[McKeyla] All clear.
[guard] That's my job, kid.

All clear, sir.

[Jillian exhales] Okay, looks like
there's not enough room.

I'm gonna take another car
and bring the luggage, okay?

[Prince Xander] Good thinking, Jillian!
But hurry up.

All right, sir. Hurry. You got it.

"Hurry, Jillian."

-I can't believe this. That was amazing!
-[girls squealing]

-Are you okay?
-Yeah.

-Are you okay?
-Yeah.

[Adri] Jefe, you okay? Okay.

I just wanna make sure
everybody was okay.

[screaming joyfully]

[Adri] That was so cool.

[Bry] Oh, my gosh.
[Adri] I wanna do that again!

[Bry] Oh, my goodness! Yes.

Whoa.

[A.D.I.S.N.] Access granted.

Ooh! Are you going to report back
to the Quail at HQ?

I just sounded so professional. HQ? HQ?

No, I'm gonna ask A.D.I.S.N. to find us
the nearest NOV-Eight safe house.

I live right near here.
It's perfectly safe, and it's a house.

[McKeyla] You're telling the truth, right?

This isn't just about you wanting
to have a prince in your house?

It's very close. Swearsies.

It's close and it's the perfect place
to take a selfie with the Prince.

Yes! Yes!

[girls laughing]

[Adri] Yes.

Not exactly the local hot spot
I was expecting.

Well, sorry there is no velvet footstools
or funny court jesters to entertain you.

Well, I was half wrong.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have some life and death
matters to tend to.

-Meaning, your life.
-Right, I got that.

Hi! This is my house. Bryden Bandweth.

We met at the training facility
a while back. You remember, right?

Or maybe not. I don't know.

And now I'm just wasting
what little time you have left here.

If only I could control-alt-delete myself.

Nice to meet you. I'm Adrienne Attoms!

Growing up in Spain,
I traveled to London all the time.

I love everything British,
except the food.

Terribly bland.

-Rubbish.
-Exactly.

It does taste like garbage.

Who cares about food

when we could be discussing
the spacecraft's thrust-to-weight ratio?

Happen to know what that is?

All I know is they're going
to blast me into the sky...

[imitates rocket launching]

...where I'll finish my most epic
Snapchat story.

And then they'll bring me
back down to Earth.

Bringing you back down to Earth
would be a good thing.

I mean, 'cause everyone will
miss you so much down here.

So, is there anything exciting
to do around here?

Duh! Hello! I know how we can entertain
you and use cutting edge technology.

Ever see someone
play a banana like a piano?

No, but it sounds awesome.

[piano notes playing]

[A.D.I.S.N.] Agent McAlister, NOV-Eight
has uncovered information

regarding the Prince's flight trajectory.

What... What's that noise?

Are you having a party?
And you didn't e-vite me?

-It's not a party, A.D.I.S.N., it's a...
-[girls laughing]

...banana-piano lesson.

Musical bananas! Amazing!
Jillian, you've got to see this!

[Jillian] Coming, sir!

-You have new info?
-[A.D.I.S.N.] Yes.

Our completed projection of the
spaceflight index shows that at its peak,

the Prince's capsule
will come in close proximity

to a US Government
cyber-security satellite.

A government satellite?

What could that have to do
with the threats?

[Bry] Hey, check out this one.

[exclaiming and laughing]

[McKeyla] Bravo, bravo.

Now, if you could please
play a quieter fruit?

We're running out of time,
and I need to concentrate.

[sighs] M, while I appreciate that cheeky,
spy-girl vibe, I'm safe now.

So why don't you join in the fun
and give it a rest?

"Give it a rest"?

I would, but I care about
saving people's lives. Like yours.

In fact, I dedicate my own life
to studying everything from

comparative science to covert operations
to investigative methodology

to anthropology, not the store,

to microbiology to criminology
to psychology to...

pretty much every other "ology"
you could think of.

I'm smart. Get over it.

[indistinct cheering]

That was a good speech,
but not quite applause-worthy.

[McKeyla]
What are these people doing here?

Beats me. I only tweeted that
I was hanging out with a big-time celeb.

I never said who it was or where.

NOV-Eight lesson number two,

you never post from the safe house,
because then it isn't, you know, safe.

These lessons make so much sense. Can I--

No, you can't tweet it.

[McKeyla] Oh, no.

-What is it?
-That's that car again, isn't it?

A.D.I.S.N., our location's
been compromised.

I need you to locate an actual NOV-Eight
safe house where no one can find us.

[A.D.I.S.N.] For you?
Or for you and those girls?

[McKeyla] Now, A.D.I.S.N.

-Her notebook talks?
-Pretty sick, huh?

[cheering continues]

-He's reaching for something.
-We should bounce.

They're right, sir.
We need to get out of here immediately!

[tires squealing]

[reporter speaking indistinctly]

[Cam] Look!

There are old cans of beans,
dog kibble and dust.

[Adri] Even I wouldn't know
what to do with that,

and I'm the best
culinary chemist in America.

That's a thing?

Why does everyone keep asking me that?

Ah, the fun times
just keep getting better.

[coughs]

There'll be plenty of time
for fun in space

if we can find out who's after you
before it's too late.

How can we help?

Get your laptops.

-Will do.
-You got it, boss lady.

-Absolutely.
-[Prince Xander] Hold on there, chief.

If you are busy sleuthing,
and my staff is out doing various tasks,

then what am I supposed to do?

Oh, right!
We can't have a bored blue blood.

How about...

read a book?

I've already read one.

Guess what? There are more.

I'm cool, not smart.

Well, then I don't know.

Isn't there some space training
exercise you can do?

There is a pool.
[gasps] I can practice my water landings.

Jillian, get my swim trunks!

He's gonna drown, isn't he?

Ooh! That's chilly.

Care to go for a swim?

Can't. Agent McAlister sent me
out here to keep an eye on you

and make sure you don't drown
before your big spaceflight.

Ugh, she really is obsessed
with me staying alive.

Tell her there's no need to worry.
I'm a great swimmer.

Oh, but don't go in the water.

Um, I was just about to show you
a cool experiment.

-Really? How cool?
-Very cool.

Have you ever seen someone
make molecular spaghetti?

Molecular spaghetti? You can do that?

I am a culinary chemist.

That's a thing?

Yes, it's a thing!
You're in for a real treat.

Don't move! Stay there!

Don't swim! I'll be right back.

[McKeyla] That dude's car and his jacket
had the same emblem on them.

-Plus, he was creepy.
-Super creepy.

What could it be?

Probably some evil organization
he works for or something.

A.D.I.S.N., did you find anything?

It appears the insignia in question

is the corporate logo of an international
cyber-security firm known as Black Star.

Black Star? Sounds dark and pointy.

Black Star. Black Star.

Isn't that that company that just donated
all those computers to Africa?

Maybe. Seems like they've
been on the news a lot.

[reporter]
Cyber-security giant Black Star Inc

is no longer under scrutiny
by federal regulators

for potential breaches
of private customer data laws.

We're very pleased to announce
the next phase in Black Star's growth.

This IPO will afford us the resources
to continue our commitment

to the progress of technology

and the protection of
our users' private data.

Wait! Pause it. There! Right there.

-It's that creepy guy!
-Hmm. You're right.

Let's see what else
we can dig up about these guys.

[girl] Hello!

Hi.

Hi.

Aren't you that prince
that's going up in the rocket ship?

Yes, I am.

I've never been swimming
with a prince before,

unless you count swimming with my brother.
He's a royal pain.

No, not sure that counts. Uh, Jillian!

Say, what size trunks
does the royal pain wear?

Got him!

Now tell us more about yourself.

Senior level black-ops?

Okay, I'm terrified and I don't
even know what that means.

And now he's Chief Director of
Operations for Black Star.

Why would a cyber-security company wanna
kidnap the Prince or stop his launch?

-[water splashing]
-[girl laughing]

[A.D.I.S.N.] This should be good.

[pop music playing]

What's going on? Where's Adri?

The neighbors wanted
to come over for a swim.

I couldn't possibly say no.
Not a very neighborly thing to do.

At least, I don't think it is.

I don't have neighbors.
I live in a castle.

Keep an eye on His Royal Floatiness.
I'm gonna go find Adri.

[Jillian] All right. I said--
Do not talk to me that way.

I said I will handle it.

[gasps]

Oh, my gosh! You scared me.

Um, does the Prince need his mouthwash
or foot massage?

Oh, right, his swim trunks.

Um, I don't know. Have you seen Adri?
She disappeared.

Sorry.

Now pull the alginate strands
out of the calcium lactate bath.

-Whoa! It looks like spaghetti.
-Pretty brilliant, huh?

[laughs] Sticks like spaghetti, too.

-How are those blueberry noodles, Cam?
-Delicious!

Let's show the Prince.

Where is he?

-Where did he go?
-He was floating here a second ago.

-I started cooking and--
-We got a little distracted.

Argh!

-He's not here and neither is his staff!
-[Bry] Oh, no!

-[Adri] The bad guys got him.
-What are we going to do?

You know what?
I think you guys have done enough.

It was my job to protect the Prince,
and I failed.

I failed everyone in every way.

If anything happens to him,
it's all my fault.

You can't blame yourself.

Yes, I can, Bry. You know why?

Because I knew I was better off
handling this case on my own.

I can't work well with others.

And it's obvious that the three of you
would rather mess around than get serious.

None of you have what it takes
to be a real agent. Not one.

Now, I'm gonna go find the Prince
and take care of this myself,

like I should've done in the first place.

Hey, is this where the pool party's at?

There's no pool party!

Ugh!

[sighs]

[theme music playing]