Project Mc² (2015–2017): Season 1, Episode 1 - The New Girl - full transcript

[theme music playing]

[alarm ringing]

[alarm stops]

[rock music playing]

[alarm ringing]

Perfecto!

-Yawnstagram!
-[devices beeping]

[keyboard clacking]

[beeping]

[A.D.I.S.N.] Access granted.
Good morning, McKeyla!

-Good morning, A.D.I.S.N. What's up?
-Lots of stuff!



Get this. [clears throat]

"Today, researchers discover

global warming's negative impact
on endangered species."

Those poor polar bears!

"Internet security giant Black Star

donates new computer equipment
to third world country."

Helping the world
with technology! Yay!

And scientists search for virus cure
by testing fruit bat DNA.

And now back to you, McKeyla McAlister.
Ready to begin your new assignment?

As always, my friend.

Sorry, Cam. I'm still in sleep mode.
I was up so late last night.

Same. I was practically comatose
finishing this beast.

Ah! The Macbeth report!
I totally spaced it.

Oh, good!
I still got time.



I was working on it last night
when this idea popped into my brain

to take the camera chip
out of one of my old cells,

put it on a pen and make a camera pen.

Like a selfie spy pen?

Exactly. I tried it out
and spied on myself,

but pretended like
I wasn't spying on myself.

So it was like I was spying on
someone who really wasn't me,

but it was me.

-There. Done. Macbeth.
-[phone beeps]

Whoa! That was crazy fast.

I really gotta stop
getting so distracted...

T.C.F.H.O.G.

-Too cute for his own good.
-Yes!

This school's a little smaller
than the one on my last mission.

Might be harder to blend in.

[A.D.I.S.N.] You can never
blend in, McKeyla.

You're way too awesome.

-And you're way too nice.
-I know.

It's time to blend, my friend.

[school bell ringing]

Uh, Bry, what's with all the cell zombies?

[scoffs]

Must be my Yawnstagram!
Stand back, I'm trending.

-[crowd cheering]
-[reporter] Prince Xander

is headed to the small US town
of Maywood Glen today

for his highly publicized
trip to outer space,

the latest of the popular
British royal's international adventures.

I can't believe he's coming here tomorrow.

I can't believe tomorrow is tomorrow.

-You think he's got a girlfriend?
-Duh! He's a royal.

He must have a girlfriend
in every country.

I wanna be his space princess.

Not me. I wanna pick his brain
about his spacecraft's orbital velocity.

Hey, Cam, doesn't your dad
work for Space Inc.?

-She can introduce us to the prince!
-[gasps]

[all clamoring]

Sorry, but Cam would need, like,
top secret clearance from her dad.

So forward slash, let's dash!

[both giggling]

[McKeyla] Ow!

-I'm so sorry!
-Didn't mean to crash into you.

-Let me help you with that.
-No, no, no. Thanks, I got her.

I mean "it."
I got it.

You're new, right?

Uh, yeah! I'm new.
Brand new.

That's what I am.
Just the new kid. No big deal.

So we just made a really bad impression
on the transfer student?

[both] Go us.

It's okay, really.

No broken bones. No chipped teeth.
No split ends. I'm fine. Perfectly fine.

[A.D.I.S.N.] I'm fine, too, McKeyla.

-Who said that?
-Said what?

I heard someone cough down the hall.

You okay back there?
I should probably go check.

It wasn't a cough.
I heard words.

Sounded like it came from your notebook.

Oh! Oh!

That. That was my cell.

Hey, girlfriend.
What's up?

Yeah, let's meet at... the mall,
at... some store,

near... another store.

[sighs]

McKeyla, huh?
That girl is definitely I.A.W.A.T.S.T.

Yeah, she is interesting
and weird at the same time.

Yeah!

When was the last time
I acronymically stumped you?

[Cam] We were five. Maywood Park.

The motorized drawbridge
on the sandcastle blew a gasket.

Threw me off my game.

A.D.I.S.N., how is that
helping me to blend in?

You're right, you're right.
Notebooks don't talk.

They act like notebooks.

I promise, as soon as I do the job,
you're free to talk your binding off.

But in the meantime...

Wise move.
Now let me handle this.

The main office...

[A.D.I.S.N. whispering] Psst!
Proceed up the stairs.

I can't believe I'm finally
taking the ultimate trip.

[imitates space shuttle]

As a kid, I always wanted to go to space
and battle aliens with laser swords,

like that documentary with the astronauts
that I saw about the war in the stars.

My family thinks I'll get into less
trouble up there than I will down here.

We'll see about that.

Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!

Stop that! You're gonna get
keyboard forehead again.

What's up?

You know that McKeyla girl?

I found out at school
that her last name's McAlister.

I did a search on every social media site

and couldn't find a single deet
about who she is or where she's from.

No way.

Nobody can hide from the Internet,
especially from you.

Except for her.
It's like she's some kind of ghost.

Yeah, a very fashionable ghost.

Trusies.

Dad?

What are you doing home?

Uh, it's okay, Cam.

There was some commotion at the office.
I just couldn't concentrate.

Something's up at Space Inc.?
What's wrong?

[sighs]

Well, it's probably nothing,

but the office received
a strange phone call,

some type of anonymous threat
against the prince's launch.

Who'd wanna hurt the prince?
He's harmless.

-And adorbs.
-And entertaining.

Which makes him totes adorbs!

I know, right?
Totes adorbs.

But apparently,
somebody doesn't agree with you.

[distorted male voice]
Attention, Space Inc.,

dismantle your plans
for the prince's launch immediately.

I'm warning you. There will be devastating
consequences for people around the world

if Prince Xander's flight
is not canceled.

-That's all I can say.
-[cell phone beeps]

Well, I'm totally creeped out.

Well, the office gets
crazy messages like this all the time.

Everyone just thinks it's a hoax.

And you?

I'm not so sure.

You know, last night, I accidentally
left my laptop at the office closed.

And this morning,
it was open.

-That's kind of freaky.
-Yeah, I thought so, too.

And with this weird
phone call and message...

[sighs]

I'm thinking somebody's trying to
get some information about the flight.

Hmm.

Well, if you want, I could tap into
Space Inc.'s security system

and see if anyone's
been lurking around there?

It's impossible to break into the cameras.
The firewall is--

-[computer beeps]
-I'm in!

Man, you are good at that.

[Bry] Look! There!
Do you know who that is?

I can't tell. Could be
a janitor or a security guard.

[Bry] Looks more slender.

Maybe the security guard's doing Pilates?

-Or maybe it's a woman?
-Hmm. Maybe.

I'd better go call security.

Thanks, girls.

Look at us!
We're like expert detectives.

Right? I bet if we do some
investigating of our own,

we can find that sketchy hacker ourselves!

-Bet we could.
-Now, think.

Who in our tiny, little town would want
to threaten the prince and his mission?

Got me. It's, like,
the coolest thing to happen here

since Emma Danielson thought Selena Gomez
was following her on Instagram,

but then found out
it was a different Selena Gomez.

Uh, but what if the blurry hacker
isn't from here?

What if it's someone who recently
showed up out of nowhere,

makes excuses and carts around
an eight by ten of the prince?

Hmm.

What an interesting and weird thought
at the same time.

[school bell ringing]

[whispering] Sorry, A.D.I.S.N., I can't
give the Quail a status report now.

I have to find the girls' locker room.

I accidentally found the boys',

and now my eyes and nose
are still mad at me.

[A.D.I.S.N.] Ew! Well, stinky boys aside,

the Quail needs to know
what's going on with the mission.

I said no, A.D.I.S.N.

[Cam] Hmm!
[Bry] What, "Hmm"?

Hmm-McKeyla.

You actually think she could have
something to do with this prince threat?

Uh, no Tumblr, no Twitter,
no YouTube profile...

Maybe that I could believe. But no Insta?

-Sketch.
-Super sketch.

How can we know for sure?

Ooh! I know.

What if we match her fingerprints
to the ones on the laptop?

Then we'd know for sure
if she's the bad guy... Girl.

Very sly, Bry...

if we knew anything
about getting fingerprints.

Okay, trusies, sure.
But we know someone who might.

[upbeat music playing]

Oh! Sorry to interrupt.

Oh, taste testers!

Hurry up and drink this while it's still
effervescing and in liquid form.

You really think she could help us?

Duh! Remember her exploding cream puffs
from the science fair?

She can whip up anything.

I'm calling it "Adri's Pink Drink."

[Cam] Safety first.

Careful! I don't want curiosity
to kill the Cam.

Mmm.

Tastes like chocolate chip cookie dough
and a glass of milk.

Pass. I just whitened my teeth.

It's a secret recipe
passed down from my grandma.

She's known as the
best culinary chemist in Spain.

Culinary chemist?

That's a thing?

Yes, of course it is!

Adri, do you wanna help us
with a top-secret investigation?

Secret investigation?

You mean, like Misión: Imposible?

Uh, yeah, like Misión: Imposible?

Ooh, I love those movies!

When I was little,
I used to watch them all the time.

I even told my parents I wanted to work
for the Centro Nacional de Inteligencia.

It's like the CIA in Spain.

Know anything about...
lifting fingerprints?

Hmm.

[reporter] $1.5 million.

An exorbitant amount of money,
by any account, for a vacation.

But for Prince Xander of Canterbury,

known throughout social media as
"the Thrillionaire Prince,"

it's another extreme stunt that has him,
yet again, in the international spotlight.

It's totally awesome!

[reporter] As the impending launch looms,

the prince appears evermore carefree
about the possible mortal danger.

Now's our chance!

[sighs]

[grunts]

Oh! I'm so sorry!

I didn't see your petite
little feet there!

We haven't met.
I'm Adrienne Attoms.

Adri. Wanna do lunch sometime?

I am such a foodie! I know all
the fanciest places to eat in this town.

There's, like, two.
But they're fabulous!

Shh!

Oh, hey.
You guys, again.

Can't seem to hold on
to my supplies around you.

Weird, huh?

Uh, that's my pen.

Uh... [chuckles]
you don't want this pen. It got sticky!

From the sticky ground.

But I like sticky things.
Sticky glue, sticky notes, sticky rice,

sticky tape, sticky... sticks?

Uh...

So, here. Take mine.

Um...

Okay. Thanks.

[together] Yes!

And then you pour in
a quarter cup of flour...

two dashes of cinnamon. Dash, dash!

And shake it up.

Now, the pen.

Roll it.

Dust it.

Take the tape...
press down lightly.

Pat, pat, pat and...

Voilà! The print!

-Rad! Homemade fingerprint kit.
-[camera clicking]

[automated voice] Capturing fingerprint.

-And it's great for churros!
-[oven beeps]

[phone beeps]

Hmm. We got a partial print.

[camera clicks]

-[computing]
-[cell phone beeps]

And a partial match!

♪ Go us, go us ♪

♪ Go you, go you ♪

Now we can tell people
that McKeyla's the bad guy... Girl.

[Adri] I don't know.

If this girl's really involved

in something as huge
as threatening the prince's flight,

I think we're gonna need more proof
than a partial print.

Then I guess we're gonna have
to catch this McKeyla McAlister

in the act of doing
something worth catching.

[school bell ringing]

[rock music playing over earphones]

[inaudible]

[Bry] Go, go, go.

Now what do we do?
We can't see or hear anything.

Not yet.

-[device beeping]
-[McKeyla] Give me a sec, A.D.I.S.N.

I want to check the news
before reporting back to headquarters.

Sweet! But I wish
we could get a peek inside.

Remember that fancy pen
I gave her in class?

-Mmm-hmm.
-Camera pen.

[A.D.I.S.N.] Sorry, McKeyla!

The Quail wants to brief you
on the mission status right now!

The Quail?

That must be like a codename for
the evil mastermind she's working for.

I want one of those.

I want one of those!

Who the heck is this girl?

Who wants to know?

[all screaming]

Spying on me?

Please don't hurt us.
We were just...

Just, um...

Just, uh... [chuckles]

Spying on me.

Isn't that right, Adrienne Attoms?

Or was it your idea, Bryden Bandweth?
Or yours, Camryn Coyle?

She knows us.

Of course I do.

My organization researches
all my new schools before I arrive.

They said you're the three smartest girls
at Maywood Glen Academy.

-The three smartest?
-Not too shabby.

[scoffs] Not surprised.

[A.D.I.S.N.] I'm surprised.

-A talking notebook?
-I knew it!

Let's hope you know enough not to tell
anybody what you saw here today.

We won't say a word,
but please don't hurt us.

[chuckles] Relax,
I'm one of the good guys... Girls.

Phew! OMG.
She's not gonna kill us.

Look, I'm here on a
highly classified mission.

That's all I can say.

By the way, cool listening device.
Did you make that?

Yeah. Thanks!

-I call it my "Sound Catcher."
-[device bleeps]

I'm great at making things.
Bad at naming them. [sighs]

Well, nice work.
I'm McKeyla McAlister.

Whoa! Wait. McKeyla McAlister.
That's MC. MC-squared!

No way! I'm squared, too! B-squared!
Cam is C-squared, Adri is A-squared...

We're, like, a super cute, live version
of the Pythagorean theorem.

[all giggling]

Listen, M. We promise
not to say a word about any of this...

if you let us check out some of that
awesome stuff you have in there.

Okay, look. I can see that you guys are
really into gadgets and high tech stuff.

-But unfortunately, I just can't--
-Thanks!

Hey! Did she just--

She's physical. I'm chatty. [chuckles]

-Maybe I should just go get her.
-Wait! Stop!

Me too!

[rock music playing]

O...

[Bry] M...

[Adri] G...

I've got total lab envy.

All this tech gear.
It's so beautiful.

No, no, no.
Don't touch that.

Hey! That was my recycled robot.
I almost finished--

It works?
How did you do that?

All it needed was a cylindrical base.

Hey, hey.
Careful with that stuff!

[beeps]

Whoa!

-Okay, that's it. Time to leave!
-[siren blaring]

[automated voice] Incoming transmission.
Incoming transmission.

Agent McAlister.
You have friends in your private lab?

Uh, yes, ma'am.
I mean, no, ma'am.

Somehow these girls followed me home,

and then they jumped through
a window before I could--

I see. Well...

Hello, Bryden, Adrienne, and Camryn.

-[gasps]
-Uh, hi.

I'm the Quail and a member of NOV-Eight,

an elite, international organization

of women operatives
from all over the globe.

Yes, it's true.
Women do run the world.

We make it a point to be aware
of exceptionally intelligent females.

Top students, like you girls,
are always on our radar.

So we're on the radar
of a top secret spy organization?

#Amazeblogs!

-I can't believe this.
-I can. We are pretty special.

So, is M here because of the threats
to the prince's mission?

And if so, is that why
she was hacking Mr. Coyle's laptop?

And who do you think
wants to stop the launch?

And why? And when?

And you should know that
once I start asking questions,

it's hard for me to stop, unless someone
answers or shuts me down.

You're aware of Agent McAlister
accessing the laptop?

My dad works at Space Inc.

And we did some investigating of our own,

like swapping out M's pen
for a video monitoring device.

I never had any reason to suspect
it was a camera pen.

And I used an old family recipe
to get her fingerprints off her pen.

Interesting.

Since you already know
more than you should,

I will tell you that
once NOV-Eight received inside intel

that the prince's mission
may be in danger,

we sent Agent McAlister to find out
whatever she could first,

then protect the prince once he arrives

and ensure he safely
gets on that spacecraft.

Count on it, ma'am.

Girls, I'm rather impressed
with your keen instincts

and experimental methods.

NOV-Eight needs new recruits.

If you're interested,
I'd like to test you out in the field

under the leadership of Agent McAlister.

What? [nervous chuckle]
With all due respect--

I mean, there's an extremely
tight launch deadline,

and then I leave immediately afterwards.
So it's really not--

I know you will do an impeccable job

guiding these girls on this time-sensitive
assignment before your next mission.

-Of course, ma'am.
-[girls exclaiming]

-Yes! Yes!
-Oh, my God, this is gonna be awesome!

[beeping]

[theme song playing]