Petticoat Junction (1963–1970): Season 1, Episode 25 - The Talent Contest - full transcript
The girls enter a talent contents that Uncle Joe arranges. He also wants to arrange one of his nieces winning the contest.
Actress Nora Marlowe
appeared on our show
three times over the years,
but unlike many
recurring guest stars,
her role was different
each of those times.
In this, her first appearance,
she plays Mrs. Whipple,
no relation to the Mr. Whipple
of Charmin-squeezing fame.
But she was just
great every time.
The plot in this case
revolves around Uncle Joe
promoting a local
talent contest,
the winner of which he has
narrowed down to three girls,
all of whom happen
to be named Bradley.
Here it is, from
March 10, 1964...
"The Talent Contest."
(train whistle blows twice)
♪ Come ride the little train ♪
♪ That is rollin' down the
tracks to the Junction ♪
(bell clanging)
♪ Forget about your cares ♪
♪ It is time to relax
at the Junction ♪
(whistle blows twice)
♪ Lots of curves, you bet ♪
♪ And even more when you get ♪
♪ To the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
(snare drum plays train rhythm)
♪ There's a little hotel called
the Shady Rest at the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
♪ It is run by Kate, come and
be her guest at the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
♪ And that's Uncle Joe,
he's a-movin' kinda slow ♪
♪ At the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction! ♪
(train whistle blows twice)
(train brakes squeaking)
Kate, girls, I got great news.
Just take a gander
at this headline.
KATE: Talent contest...
that's great news?
You're darn tootin' it is.
This little old contest gonna
be held right smack dab
in the Shady Rest lobby
a week from tonight.
(girls all talking)
Simmer down. Let's
not get too excited
till we hear more of the facts.
Like, um, how come
it's being held here,
and are we making
money or losing money?
Well, it's being held here
because I ran into the fella
that's putting on the contest.
I sold him a bill of
goods on using the hotel
instead of the town hall.
Yeah. Well, that takes
care of the how come part.
Now how about the money part?
Kate, we're getting paid off
in something even
better than money.
What's better than money?
Publicity.
People will be buying
meals and renting rooms
and spending all kinds of money.
Well, maybe so.
Well, we're stuck
with it anyway.
Hey, look at this!
"First prize... $50."
Mom, can I enter the contest?
Gee, Mom, I'd like to, too.
Me, too.
No, I just don't think
it'd be a good idea
for you girls to
enter that contest.
But why not?
We've got some talent, Mom.
Sure you have.
How could you be related
to me and not be talented?
That would be
astonishing, wouldn't it?
All you got to do
when you get out there,
just remember you're
carrying on the tradition
of Joseph P. Carson,
the Yankee Doodle Dandy.
Didn't they call George M. Cohen
the Yankee Doodle Dandy?
Yeah, him, too, now and then.
Kate, why don't you let
the girls have a try at it?
Look, Mr. Show Business,
I'm not saying the
girls don't have talent.
I'm just saying I don't
want them in that contest.
One of them might win.
That means, the
other two have to lose,
and I can't think
of a better way
to create hard
feelings in a family.
But, Mom, we don't
care about winning.
Of course not.
We just want the fun
of being in the contest.
Yeah, Kate. Do you
want to frustrate them?
BILLIE JO: Oh, come on, Mom.
We wouldn't have a
chance of winning anyway.
That's right. Charley and
Floyd are bound to get
into the contest, and you
know how terrific they are
at entertaining and how
popular they are with everybody.
That's true... Floyd and
Charley would be hard to beat.
And another one who's a cinch
to beat us out is Tad Whipple.
Remember how the
audience went wild
over his singing at
the PTA meeting?
Yeah.
Tad might run
away with it at that.
Hey, what about Mabel Snark?
Oh, she's sure to
be in the contest,
and she won first
prize in yodeling
at the county fair last year.
Yeah, there'll
be a lot of people
in that contest hard to beat.
Oh, what do you say, Mom?
Let us enter just
for the fun of it.
Well, since you're
all so anxious,
and you're not gonna try
and beat each other out,
I guess it'll be all right.
(all talking)
Now, now, I don't want
you getting worked up over it.
It's just a little amateur
contest, and that's all.
(all talking) That's good.
Now let's get back to work.
Yoo-hoo!
By the way, Uncle
Joe, what's the big idea
of trying to give the
girls the impression
you were on the stage?
Well, I was at one time.
Driving or riding shotgun?
Passenger.
Oh, you're mom's a nice little
woman, and she means well,
but she doesn't understand
that you're grown up.
You can handle competition
amongst yourselves.
Of course we can, and you know,
Mom did treat us like
little children, didn't she?
Yeah, as though
we're still little kids
who squabble at
the drop of a hat.
Well, this here's a
great chance for you
to prove to her
that you're mature
and can handle
victory or defeat.
You're right, Uncle Joe.
Yeah, you bet that
$50 first prize I'm right.
You know, Mom could
sure use that $50 right now.
Yeah. I can just see
how proud she'd be
if one of you came up and
handed her that first prize money,
the other two standing
off there smiling
in gracious defeat.
But, Uncle Joe, even
if we did work hard
and-and rehearse and
knock our brains out to win,
what about Charley and Floyd
and-and Tad Whipple
and Mabel Snark?
I wouldn't worry about them.
I got inside information
they may not even
enter the contest.
No kidding, Uncle Joe?
Hey, girls, that
means it's wide open.
Well, what do you say?
Should we really go
after that first prize?
With everything we've got.
And who knows?
Maybe one of us will get to go
to Chicago and be on TV.
Oh, that reminds me, girls.
If the winner's underage,
he or she gets to take
an adult companion
to Chicago with them.
Oh, wouldn't Mom love Chicago?
Oh, yes.
I don't think
your mother would like Chicago.
You know, eating
in strange places,
wind blowing her
hair all over the place.
Oh, Uncle Joe, come on.
She'd have a ball.
Yeah, that's right.
After two days there,
she'd ball her eyes out.
You'd best take somebody
along that can manage your career
in case you win in the finals.
Somebody with a show
business background.
That sounds like you, Uncle Joe.
Me? Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it does, don't it?
Well, maybe if one of you wins,
I'll consider going
back with you.
(laughs): Thanks, Uncle Joe.
You're great.
Come on, kids, let's
get started rehearsing.
♪ Oh, that windy city ♪
♪ Oh, that windy city... ♪
Chicago.
I've always wanted
to see that town.
Well, Joe,
just what kind of a favor do
you want from Floyd and me?
Favor? What makes
you think I want a favor?
Number one... you never
rode up in front before.
Number two... it's the first
time you ever brung us any food.
And number three... You're
being uncommon pleasant.
There is a teensy weensy
little favor I'd like to ask.
Floyd, do you want
to ask him what it is,
or should I make the mistake?
I reckon it's your
turn, Charley.
I asked him aboard, remember?
Oh, stop your clowning, fellas.
I just wanted to ask you not
to enter that talent contest.
That's all.
Why shouldn't we be in it?
Yeah. We're fixing to
win that $50 first prize.
Not if you're friends
of Kate's, you won't.
How's that?
Well, Kate's girls
are entering the
contest, and I'm not sure
how she'd take it if
one of them didn't win.
You mean, Kate don't want
us to compete against the girls?
Oh, she'd never admit it,
but I thought it was
my duty to tell you.
Personally, I don't care
who wins the contest.
Well, if Kate don't
want us in that contest,
we sure enough
won't enter it, will we?
Nope.
We sure won't.
Here, uh, have another sandwich.
Mom, could you help me
make a real fancy costume
for my dance number?
Well, I'd be glad to, honey,
but I don't have any material.
Oh, I just happen to
have a few hundred yards.
I need a costume
for the contest, too.
Well, I don't
think I'd have time
to make costumes
for both of you.
Wait a minute. I'm
in that contest, too,
and I haven't got
a thing to wear.
I asked first. I'm the oldest.
Yeah, but what counts
is who needs it the most.
Oh, come on, Mom, I...
(all talking at once)
Girls, simmer down.
There's only one
way to settle this.
It's all yours.
Oh, good. Oh, good.
Hey, wait a minute.
I said do this by age.
(all talking at once)
Here you are, Ma.
Yes, sir, Mrs. Whipple.
Yes, sir, your boy
Tad's a sizzling cinch
to run away with that contest.
It sure would please
me to see him win.
That poor boy works
so hard around here
helping me with everything,
he deserves a chance
to show off his
singing now and then.
I'm real glad to hear that.
For a while there,
some of us were worried
for fear you weren't
gonna let him enter.
Well, so long,
Mrs. Whipple, Tad.
Uh, wait a minute.
Why was you afraid I
might not let him enter?
Oh, it was nothing.
Some of the folks around here
got some silly
notions about Tad.
Didn't amount to anything.
See you later,
boy, at the contest.
Hold on.
What kind of silly notions?
Well, it's the general
opinion around here
that Tad's starting
to get the swell head.
Once he wins this contest
and goes on to Chicago,
he'll never come back.
Not come back?!
Why wouldn't he?
Well, everybody knows he'll
win the Chicago contest, too,
and from there, it's...
on to Hollywood
for your little boy.
Hollywood?!
It's the same old story...
Fame, fortune, forgetting
your family, your friends.
Well, it didn't cross
my mind that...
Once you're out there,
it's one Hollywood
party after another.
No more letter writing,
no more phoning,
no more nothing.
(crying): Oh, my little Tad.
Now, don't carry
on, Mrs. Whipple.
Maybe you can keep track of him
by reading them movie magazines.
Finding out which Hollywood
parties he's been going to.
Tad Whipple?
Yeah, Ma?
You hear me good.
You ain't gonna enter
that talent contest.
Well, why not?
Because I said so, that's why.
And you get rid of
that swell head of yours
before I take a switch to you.
But, Ma... Be quiet,
and get back to
milking your cows.
I'd watch him, Mrs. Whipple.
That boy has a
wild look in his eye.
(wind whipping on
record) Surely, said I.
Surely that is something
at my window lattice.
Oh, let my heart be still a
moment and this mystery explore.
(turns record off)
It is the wind...
Mother, what are you doing?
I'm rehearsing.
That's just what your
sisters would like to do, too.
They can have it... tonight.
When, like we got
it last night at 11:00?
Mom, make her take
that spooky record
off there, will you?
So you can put that silly
dance record of yours on there?
Oh, no. My record's
going on next.
(all talking at once)
Girls! Girls!
(woman laughing)
Yeah, I'm sure glad
I ran into you like this
and got it first hand that
you'd heard about the contest.
It wouldn't be much
without Mabel Snark.
Oh, thank you,
but that $50 first prize
is worth yodeling for.
Then I can tell the man
who's running the contest
that you'll be in it and not
in Groverdale that night?
You bet.
(laughing)
Uh, what's going
on in Groverdale?
Well, there's a
bachelors' convention.
Couple of hundred
wealthy playboys
getting together at
the Groverdale Hotel.
A couple of hundred?
Yeah.
I'm glad to see you're not like
a lot of other single
women around here,
fixing to make a 600-mile trip
just to snag a wealthy husband.
You know, I've never
been to Groverdale.
Uh, is that all it is
really, just 600 miles?
Yeah.
Now I'm helping out
with lining up the program.
Would you like to be spotted
before or after the
jug-blowing act?
The Groverdale Hotel, you say?
Huh?
Oh, yeah. Now, I figure
the best spot's before.
You see, when you... Forget it.
The best spot's Groverdale.
Then you mean, you ain't
gonna be in the contest?
Oh, I'm gonna be in
the contest, all right.
The one in Groverdale.
(clicks tongue)
I wonder which one of the girls
will be going to
Chicago with me.
She's finished, Kate!
That's a fine
looking little stage.
You did a good job.
Well, thanks, Kate.
Kate, you must be
just plumb wore out
working to get
ready for this contest.
Oh, it's not the work, Charley.
But I've just about
reached the end of my rope
with those three girls of mine.
The girls are taking part
in a little spirited rivalry...
That's what Kate means.
They've been
impossible is what I mean.
Now, I'm counting
on you two boys to be
so good tomorrow
night that you're gonna
beat them a country mile.
Why, Kate, we're just playing
to accompany the contestants.
Didn't Joe tell you?
Kate, boys must be hungry.
Why don't you hop out the
kitchen, get them a bite to eat?
Are you saying
you're not competing?
JOE: Better start hopping, Kate.
But you boys have
got to be in the contest.
We thought you didn't want
us competing with the girls.
Where in the world...
did you ever get
an idea like that?
Okay, maybe I'll
hop out to the kitchen.
Hold it, Uncle Joe.
With the turn things have taken,
I'm beginning to feel your
strong hand of navigating.
Kate, you're conclusion
jumping again.
Good jumping, I'd say.
Oh, Uncle Joe, I know
it'd mean a lot to you
if one of the girls would win.
But removing all
competition's no way to do it.
You know a better way?
I know I want my girls
to start acting like
real sisters again,
and not like three cackling hens
pecking at the
same kernel of corn.
Now, you boys have
got to promise me
to enter the contest.
Well, all right, Kate, if
that's the way you want it.
Yes. And I'd be obliged
if you'd give me a
ride on the Cannonball.
Sure thing, Kate.
Where we going?
To talk to the rest
of the competition.
I want to be sure
this is gonna be
a wide-open square deal contest.
Let's go.
Kate, before you go, I
want to tell you something.
What?
Don't.
Sometimes her idea
of honesty and fair play
is downright sickening.
(laughter, chattering, band
strumming instruments)
(applause)
Thanks, folks.
And welcome to the Shady Rest.
Now, I've been asked to help out
with the master of
ceremony-ing chores
by my good friend
Mr. J.P. Anderson
from Chicago.
(applause)
Now, the first act
on the program is
Leota Linquip and
her musical jugs.
Let's give the little
lady a great big hand.
(applause)
(piano plays intro)
(blowing melody)
Next contestant's
young Tad Whipple.
He's a kind of a singer.
(applause)
Do the best you
can, Tad, my boy.
(deep. resonating
voice): ♪ ...were. ♪
(applause, music stops)
That was Tad Whipple, folks.
Nice try, Tad.
Better luck next time.
We're coming to
Bobbie Jo Bradley,
one of the three
highlights of the evening!
She'll sing a song for you
in her own prize-winning style.
I give you Miss
Bobbie Jo Bradley!
(cheering, applause)
(piano playing)
♪ I love those ♪
♪ Three little words ♪
(band playing along)
♪ Oh, what I'd give for
that wonderful phrase ♪
♪ To hear those
three little words ♪
♪ That's all I'd live for
the rest of my days ♪
♪ And what I feel in my heart ♪
♪ They tell sincerely ♪
♪ No other words can
tell it half so clearly ♪
♪ Three little words ♪
♪ Eight little letters ♪
♪ Which simply
mean "I love you" ♪
♪ One, two ♪
♪ Three little words ♪
♪ Eight little letters
which simply mean ♪
♪ "I love you." ♪
(music stops, applause)
That was Miss Bobbie
Jo Bradley, folks.
There's no question about it,
that girl has some real talent.
(applause)
Now we come to, uh... a yodeler.
Mabel Snark is the
name of this contestant.
Always a few people in the
audience who enjoy yodeling.
So let's give a fine hand
to Miss Mabel Snark.
(applause)
(music playing, yodeling)
Now, next, friends, we present
the blonde bombshell
of the Shady Rest
doing her condensed
but exciting version
o' Edgar Allen
Poe's "The Raven."
Miss Billie Jo Bradley!
(applause)
(quietly): Sorry, honey.
(quietly): What am I
gonna do now, Uncle Joe?
I can't perform without my
music and my sound effects.
Kate and Floyd and Charley
can play the music for you.
And Floyd's pretty
good with sound effects;
I'll have him put in a few.
Okay, Uncle Joe, I'll try.
(normal voice): Okay, folks,
we have a technical problem.
We'll have it fixed
in just a second.
(whispering)
"Once upon a midnight dreary,
"while I pondered
weak and weary,
"Over many a quaint
and curious volume
"of forgotten lore,
"While I nodded,
nearly napping...
(snoring)
"suddenly there
came a tapping...
(imitating knocking)
"'Tis some
visitor, ' I muttered,
"'tapping at my chamber door'...
"But it was Floyd, nothing more.
(laughs)
"Open here I
flung the shutters...
(imitating creaking)
"But it was Floyd,
"nothing more.
"Quoth the raven...
(imitating cawing)
'Nevermore.'"
(cheering, applause)
That was Billie
Jo Bradley, folks...
A great dramatic actress
and a brilliant comedienne.
And I'm sure we'd all be proud
if Billie was to carry
our colors to Chicago.
(applause)
(high-pitched
melodic vibrations)
(applause, music stops)
Thank you.
That was Burson Treadwell
and his singing saw.
Personally, I like
real singing myself.
Now it's my
pleasure to introduce
that gifted and talented
other Bradley sister,
Miss Betty Jo Bradley!
(applause)
(playing "Oh! Susanna")
(applause)
(music stops, cheering)
Well, folks, that was
the last of the big three!
Now we have... Oh, yeah.
Couple of swell guys we'd
all like even if they didn't
run the only train between
Hooterville and Pixley,
Charley Pratt and Floyd Smoot.
(cheering, applause)
(music playing)
♪ How well do I
remember the fire of '58 ♪
♪ We was coming
down through the mire ♪
♪ When along comes Hank
just a-going to beat the cars ♪
♪ And he says ♪
♪ "My gosh, there's a fire" ♪
♪ Well, I runs home and
I puts my gum boots on ♪
♪ Kisses my gal Irene ♪
♪ How well do I
remember the fire of '58 ♪
♪ When we ran with
the old machine ♪
♪ When we ran with the
old machine... hot ziggity ♪
♪ When we ran with
the old machine ♪
♪ There was Hank
and Frank and Cy ♪
♪ Pete and Bill and I ♪
♪ When we ran with
the old machine. ♪
(laughter, applause)
Well, folks, that was the
last act of the evening.
And even though they
ain't as young or pretty
or quite as talented
as the Bradley sisters,
you got to admit,
they're pretty good.
(applause)
Now, folks, there will
be a short intermission
and then the judging.
(crowd murmuring)
Do you think I have
a chance to win?
Gee, I hope I have a chance.
I've sure got my
fingers crossed.
I'm hoping that
I... Wait a minute.
Look at what we're doing.
We're all saying "I" not "we".
We're all worried
about only ourselves.
You know, that isn't
like us; Mom was right.
And if one of us wins,
it could get worse.
Well, what do you say we
all drop out of the contest?
I second that. I third it.
Well, let's go tell Mom.
Right. Right. Right.
Mom.
We've decided we don't want
to be included in the judging.
Oh, but you all did so well.
Any one of you could win.
Well, that's just it, Mom.
We don't want any
one of us to win.
And we don't want any one
of us to go to Chicago, either.
We figure maybe
we'll all get to visit there
one of these days, together.
Girls... What? What?
Welcome back to the family.
(girls laugh)
You girls were just
great, all three of you!
Uncle Joe, come here.
You're joshing.
All three?
(cheering, applause)
Now, judging from your applause,
the winner is... Tad Whipple!
(cheering, applause)
Congratulations, Tad.
Here's a 50.
Thanks.
Have you got anybody in mind
to go to Chicago with
you yet, Tad, my boy?
Yeah, my ma.
Send me a postcard, will you?
Now, folks, the Bradley
sisters will finish off the evening
with their version of the
Hooterville Cannonball.
(applause)
(music playing)
♪ There's a train that runs
through this wide valley ♪
♪ That is loved by one and all ♪
♪ It's the train that
starts way up in Pixley ♪
♪ Called the
Hooterville Cannonball ♪
♪ Well, she makes her run
through the dead of winter ♪
♪ Through the
summer, spring and fall ♪
♪ Neither cold nor heat
nor flood can stop her ♪
♪ She's the Hooterville
Cannonball. ♪
(train whistle blows)
(applause)
♪ Petticoat Junction. ♪
This has been a
Filmways presentation.
appeared on our show
three times over the years,
but unlike many
recurring guest stars,
her role was different
each of those times.
In this, her first appearance,
she plays Mrs. Whipple,
no relation to the Mr. Whipple
of Charmin-squeezing fame.
But she was just
great every time.
The plot in this case
revolves around Uncle Joe
promoting a local
talent contest,
the winner of which he has
narrowed down to three girls,
all of whom happen
to be named Bradley.
Here it is, from
March 10, 1964...
"The Talent Contest."
(train whistle blows twice)
♪ Come ride the little train ♪
♪ That is rollin' down the
tracks to the Junction ♪
(bell clanging)
♪ Forget about your cares ♪
♪ It is time to relax
at the Junction ♪
(whistle blows twice)
♪ Lots of curves, you bet ♪
♪ And even more when you get ♪
♪ To the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
(snare drum plays train rhythm)
♪ There's a little hotel called
the Shady Rest at the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
♪ It is run by Kate, come and
be her guest at the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
♪ And that's Uncle Joe,
he's a-movin' kinda slow ♪
♪ At the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction! ♪
(train whistle blows twice)
(train brakes squeaking)
Kate, girls, I got great news.
Just take a gander
at this headline.
KATE: Talent contest...
that's great news?
You're darn tootin' it is.
This little old contest gonna
be held right smack dab
in the Shady Rest lobby
a week from tonight.
(girls all talking)
Simmer down. Let's
not get too excited
till we hear more of the facts.
Like, um, how come
it's being held here,
and are we making
money or losing money?
Well, it's being held here
because I ran into the fella
that's putting on the contest.
I sold him a bill of
goods on using the hotel
instead of the town hall.
Yeah. Well, that takes
care of the how come part.
Now how about the money part?
Kate, we're getting paid off
in something even
better than money.
What's better than money?
Publicity.
People will be buying
meals and renting rooms
and spending all kinds of money.
Well, maybe so.
Well, we're stuck
with it anyway.
Hey, look at this!
"First prize... $50."
Mom, can I enter the contest?
Gee, Mom, I'd like to, too.
Me, too.
No, I just don't think
it'd be a good idea
for you girls to
enter that contest.
But why not?
We've got some talent, Mom.
Sure you have.
How could you be related
to me and not be talented?
That would be
astonishing, wouldn't it?
All you got to do
when you get out there,
just remember you're
carrying on the tradition
of Joseph P. Carson,
the Yankee Doodle Dandy.
Didn't they call George M. Cohen
the Yankee Doodle Dandy?
Yeah, him, too, now and then.
Kate, why don't you let
the girls have a try at it?
Look, Mr. Show Business,
I'm not saying the
girls don't have talent.
I'm just saying I don't
want them in that contest.
One of them might win.
That means, the
other two have to lose,
and I can't think
of a better way
to create hard
feelings in a family.
But, Mom, we don't
care about winning.
Of course not.
We just want the fun
of being in the contest.
Yeah, Kate. Do you
want to frustrate them?
BILLIE JO: Oh, come on, Mom.
We wouldn't have a
chance of winning anyway.
That's right. Charley and
Floyd are bound to get
into the contest, and you
know how terrific they are
at entertaining and how
popular they are with everybody.
That's true... Floyd and
Charley would be hard to beat.
And another one who's a cinch
to beat us out is Tad Whipple.
Remember how the
audience went wild
over his singing at
the PTA meeting?
Yeah.
Tad might run
away with it at that.
Hey, what about Mabel Snark?
Oh, she's sure to
be in the contest,
and she won first
prize in yodeling
at the county fair last year.
Yeah, there'll
be a lot of people
in that contest hard to beat.
Oh, what do you say, Mom?
Let us enter just
for the fun of it.
Well, since you're
all so anxious,
and you're not gonna try
and beat each other out,
I guess it'll be all right.
(all talking)
Now, now, I don't want
you getting worked up over it.
It's just a little amateur
contest, and that's all.
(all talking) That's good.
Now let's get back to work.
Yoo-hoo!
By the way, Uncle
Joe, what's the big idea
of trying to give the
girls the impression
you were on the stage?
Well, I was at one time.
Driving or riding shotgun?
Passenger.
Oh, you're mom's a nice little
woman, and she means well,
but she doesn't understand
that you're grown up.
You can handle competition
amongst yourselves.
Of course we can, and you know,
Mom did treat us like
little children, didn't she?
Yeah, as though
we're still little kids
who squabble at
the drop of a hat.
Well, this here's a
great chance for you
to prove to her
that you're mature
and can handle
victory or defeat.
You're right, Uncle Joe.
Yeah, you bet that
$50 first prize I'm right.
You know, Mom could
sure use that $50 right now.
Yeah. I can just see
how proud she'd be
if one of you came up and
handed her that first prize money,
the other two standing
off there smiling
in gracious defeat.
But, Uncle Joe, even
if we did work hard
and-and rehearse and
knock our brains out to win,
what about Charley and Floyd
and-and Tad Whipple
and Mabel Snark?
I wouldn't worry about them.
I got inside information
they may not even
enter the contest.
No kidding, Uncle Joe?
Hey, girls, that
means it's wide open.
Well, what do you say?
Should we really go
after that first prize?
With everything we've got.
And who knows?
Maybe one of us will get to go
to Chicago and be on TV.
Oh, that reminds me, girls.
If the winner's underage,
he or she gets to take
an adult companion
to Chicago with them.
Oh, wouldn't Mom love Chicago?
Oh, yes.
I don't think
your mother would like Chicago.
You know, eating
in strange places,
wind blowing her
hair all over the place.
Oh, Uncle Joe, come on.
She'd have a ball.
Yeah, that's right.
After two days there,
she'd ball her eyes out.
You'd best take somebody
along that can manage your career
in case you win in the finals.
Somebody with a show
business background.
That sounds like you, Uncle Joe.
Me? Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it does, don't it?
Well, maybe if one of you wins,
I'll consider going
back with you.
(laughs): Thanks, Uncle Joe.
You're great.
Come on, kids, let's
get started rehearsing.
♪ Oh, that windy city ♪
♪ Oh, that windy city... ♪
Chicago.
I've always wanted
to see that town.
Well, Joe,
just what kind of a favor do
you want from Floyd and me?
Favor? What makes
you think I want a favor?
Number one... you never
rode up in front before.
Number two... it's the first
time you ever brung us any food.
And number three... You're
being uncommon pleasant.
There is a teensy weensy
little favor I'd like to ask.
Floyd, do you want
to ask him what it is,
or should I make the mistake?
I reckon it's your
turn, Charley.
I asked him aboard, remember?
Oh, stop your clowning, fellas.
I just wanted to ask you not
to enter that talent contest.
That's all.
Why shouldn't we be in it?
Yeah. We're fixing to
win that $50 first prize.
Not if you're friends
of Kate's, you won't.
How's that?
Well, Kate's girls
are entering the
contest, and I'm not sure
how she'd take it if
one of them didn't win.
You mean, Kate don't want
us to compete against the girls?
Oh, she'd never admit it,
but I thought it was
my duty to tell you.
Personally, I don't care
who wins the contest.
Well, if Kate don't
want us in that contest,
we sure enough
won't enter it, will we?
Nope.
We sure won't.
Here, uh, have another sandwich.
Mom, could you help me
make a real fancy costume
for my dance number?
Well, I'd be glad to, honey,
but I don't have any material.
Oh, I just happen to
have a few hundred yards.
I need a costume
for the contest, too.
Well, I don't
think I'd have time
to make costumes
for both of you.
Wait a minute. I'm
in that contest, too,
and I haven't got
a thing to wear.
I asked first. I'm the oldest.
Yeah, but what counts
is who needs it the most.
Oh, come on, Mom, I...
(all talking at once)
Girls, simmer down.
There's only one
way to settle this.
It's all yours.
Oh, good. Oh, good.
Hey, wait a minute.
I said do this by age.
(all talking at once)
Here you are, Ma.
Yes, sir, Mrs. Whipple.
Yes, sir, your boy
Tad's a sizzling cinch
to run away with that contest.
It sure would please
me to see him win.
That poor boy works
so hard around here
helping me with everything,
he deserves a chance
to show off his
singing now and then.
I'm real glad to hear that.
For a while there,
some of us were worried
for fear you weren't
gonna let him enter.
Well, so long,
Mrs. Whipple, Tad.
Uh, wait a minute.
Why was you afraid I
might not let him enter?
Oh, it was nothing.
Some of the folks around here
got some silly
notions about Tad.
Didn't amount to anything.
See you later,
boy, at the contest.
Hold on.
What kind of silly notions?
Well, it's the general
opinion around here
that Tad's starting
to get the swell head.
Once he wins this contest
and goes on to Chicago,
he'll never come back.
Not come back?!
Why wouldn't he?
Well, everybody knows he'll
win the Chicago contest, too,
and from there, it's...
on to Hollywood
for your little boy.
Hollywood?!
It's the same old story...
Fame, fortune, forgetting
your family, your friends.
Well, it didn't cross
my mind that...
Once you're out there,
it's one Hollywood
party after another.
No more letter writing,
no more phoning,
no more nothing.
(crying): Oh, my little Tad.
Now, don't carry
on, Mrs. Whipple.
Maybe you can keep track of him
by reading them movie magazines.
Finding out which Hollywood
parties he's been going to.
Tad Whipple?
Yeah, Ma?
You hear me good.
You ain't gonna enter
that talent contest.
Well, why not?
Because I said so, that's why.
And you get rid of
that swell head of yours
before I take a switch to you.
But, Ma... Be quiet,
and get back to
milking your cows.
I'd watch him, Mrs. Whipple.
That boy has a
wild look in his eye.
(wind whipping on
record) Surely, said I.
Surely that is something
at my window lattice.
Oh, let my heart be still a
moment and this mystery explore.
(turns record off)
It is the wind...
Mother, what are you doing?
I'm rehearsing.
That's just what your
sisters would like to do, too.
They can have it... tonight.
When, like we got
it last night at 11:00?
Mom, make her take
that spooky record
off there, will you?
So you can put that silly
dance record of yours on there?
Oh, no. My record's
going on next.
(all talking at once)
Girls! Girls!
(woman laughing)
Yeah, I'm sure glad
I ran into you like this
and got it first hand that
you'd heard about the contest.
It wouldn't be much
without Mabel Snark.
Oh, thank you,
but that $50 first prize
is worth yodeling for.
Then I can tell the man
who's running the contest
that you'll be in it and not
in Groverdale that night?
You bet.
(laughing)
Uh, what's going
on in Groverdale?
Well, there's a
bachelors' convention.
Couple of hundred
wealthy playboys
getting together at
the Groverdale Hotel.
A couple of hundred?
Yeah.
I'm glad to see you're not like
a lot of other single
women around here,
fixing to make a 600-mile trip
just to snag a wealthy husband.
You know, I've never
been to Groverdale.
Uh, is that all it is
really, just 600 miles?
Yeah.
Now I'm helping out
with lining up the program.
Would you like to be spotted
before or after the
jug-blowing act?
The Groverdale Hotel, you say?
Huh?
Oh, yeah. Now, I figure
the best spot's before.
You see, when you... Forget it.
The best spot's Groverdale.
Then you mean, you ain't
gonna be in the contest?
Oh, I'm gonna be in
the contest, all right.
The one in Groverdale.
(clicks tongue)
I wonder which one of the girls
will be going to
Chicago with me.
She's finished, Kate!
That's a fine
looking little stage.
You did a good job.
Well, thanks, Kate.
Kate, you must be
just plumb wore out
working to get
ready for this contest.
Oh, it's not the work, Charley.
But I've just about
reached the end of my rope
with those three girls of mine.
The girls are taking part
in a little spirited rivalry...
That's what Kate means.
They've been
impossible is what I mean.
Now, I'm counting
on you two boys to be
so good tomorrow
night that you're gonna
beat them a country mile.
Why, Kate, we're just playing
to accompany the contestants.
Didn't Joe tell you?
Kate, boys must be hungry.
Why don't you hop out the
kitchen, get them a bite to eat?
Are you saying
you're not competing?
JOE: Better start hopping, Kate.
But you boys have
got to be in the contest.
We thought you didn't want
us competing with the girls.
Where in the world...
did you ever get
an idea like that?
Okay, maybe I'll
hop out to the kitchen.
Hold it, Uncle Joe.
With the turn things have taken,
I'm beginning to feel your
strong hand of navigating.
Kate, you're conclusion
jumping again.
Good jumping, I'd say.
Oh, Uncle Joe, I know
it'd mean a lot to you
if one of the girls would win.
But removing all
competition's no way to do it.
You know a better way?
I know I want my girls
to start acting like
real sisters again,
and not like three cackling hens
pecking at the
same kernel of corn.
Now, you boys have
got to promise me
to enter the contest.
Well, all right, Kate, if
that's the way you want it.
Yes. And I'd be obliged
if you'd give me a
ride on the Cannonball.
Sure thing, Kate.
Where we going?
To talk to the rest
of the competition.
I want to be sure
this is gonna be
a wide-open square deal contest.
Let's go.
Kate, before you go, I
want to tell you something.
What?
Don't.
Sometimes her idea
of honesty and fair play
is downright sickening.
(laughter, chattering, band
strumming instruments)
(applause)
Thanks, folks.
And welcome to the Shady Rest.
Now, I've been asked to help out
with the master of
ceremony-ing chores
by my good friend
Mr. J.P. Anderson
from Chicago.
(applause)
Now, the first act
on the program is
Leota Linquip and
her musical jugs.
Let's give the little
lady a great big hand.
(applause)
(piano plays intro)
(blowing melody)
Next contestant's
young Tad Whipple.
He's a kind of a singer.
(applause)
Do the best you
can, Tad, my boy.
(deep. resonating
voice): ♪ ...were. ♪
(applause, music stops)
That was Tad Whipple, folks.
Nice try, Tad.
Better luck next time.
We're coming to
Bobbie Jo Bradley,
one of the three
highlights of the evening!
She'll sing a song for you
in her own prize-winning style.
I give you Miss
Bobbie Jo Bradley!
(cheering, applause)
(piano playing)
♪ I love those ♪
♪ Three little words ♪
(band playing along)
♪ Oh, what I'd give for
that wonderful phrase ♪
♪ To hear those
three little words ♪
♪ That's all I'd live for
the rest of my days ♪
♪ And what I feel in my heart ♪
♪ They tell sincerely ♪
♪ No other words can
tell it half so clearly ♪
♪ Three little words ♪
♪ Eight little letters ♪
♪ Which simply
mean "I love you" ♪
♪ One, two ♪
♪ Three little words ♪
♪ Eight little letters
which simply mean ♪
♪ "I love you." ♪
(music stops, applause)
That was Miss Bobbie
Jo Bradley, folks.
There's no question about it,
that girl has some real talent.
(applause)
Now we come to, uh... a yodeler.
Mabel Snark is the
name of this contestant.
Always a few people in the
audience who enjoy yodeling.
So let's give a fine hand
to Miss Mabel Snark.
(applause)
(music playing, yodeling)
Now, next, friends, we present
the blonde bombshell
of the Shady Rest
doing her condensed
but exciting version
o' Edgar Allen
Poe's "The Raven."
Miss Billie Jo Bradley!
(applause)
(quietly): Sorry, honey.
(quietly): What am I
gonna do now, Uncle Joe?
I can't perform without my
music and my sound effects.
Kate and Floyd and Charley
can play the music for you.
And Floyd's pretty
good with sound effects;
I'll have him put in a few.
Okay, Uncle Joe, I'll try.
(normal voice): Okay, folks,
we have a technical problem.
We'll have it fixed
in just a second.
(whispering)
"Once upon a midnight dreary,
"while I pondered
weak and weary,
"Over many a quaint
and curious volume
"of forgotten lore,
"While I nodded,
nearly napping...
(snoring)
"suddenly there
came a tapping...
(imitating knocking)
"'Tis some
visitor, ' I muttered,
"'tapping at my chamber door'...
"But it was Floyd, nothing more.
(laughs)
"Open here I
flung the shutters...
(imitating creaking)
"But it was Floyd,
"nothing more.
"Quoth the raven...
(imitating cawing)
'Nevermore.'"
(cheering, applause)
That was Billie
Jo Bradley, folks...
A great dramatic actress
and a brilliant comedienne.
And I'm sure we'd all be proud
if Billie was to carry
our colors to Chicago.
(applause)
(high-pitched
melodic vibrations)
(applause, music stops)
Thank you.
That was Burson Treadwell
and his singing saw.
Personally, I like
real singing myself.
Now it's my
pleasure to introduce
that gifted and talented
other Bradley sister,
Miss Betty Jo Bradley!
(applause)
(playing "Oh! Susanna")
(applause)
(music stops, cheering)
Well, folks, that was
the last of the big three!
Now we have... Oh, yeah.
Couple of swell guys we'd
all like even if they didn't
run the only train between
Hooterville and Pixley,
Charley Pratt and Floyd Smoot.
(cheering, applause)
(music playing)
♪ How well do I
remember the fire of '58 ♪
♪ We was coming
down through the mire ♪
♪ When along comes Hank
just a-going to beat the cars ♪
♪ And he says ♪
♪ "My gosh, there's a fire" ♪
♪ Well, I runs home and
I puts my gum boots on ♪
♪ Kisses my gal Irene ♪
♪ How well do I
remember the fire of '58 ♪
♪ When we ran with
the old machine ♪
♪ When we ran with the
old machine... hot ziggity ♪
♪ When we ran with
the old machine ♪
♪ There was Hank
and Frank and Cy ♪
♪ Pete and Bill and I ♪
♪ When we ran with
the old machine. ♪
(laughter, applause)
Well, folks, that was the
last act of the evening.
And even though they
ain't as young or pretty
or quite as talented
as the Bradley sisters,
you got to admit,
they're pretty good.
(applause)
Now, folks, there will
be a short intermission
and then the judging.
(crowd murmuring)
Do you think I have
a chance to win?
Gee, I hope I have a chance.
I've sure got my
fingers crossed.
I'm hoping that
I... Wait a minute.
Look at what we're doing.
We're all saying "I" not "we".
We're all worried
about only ourselves.
You know, that isn't
like us; Mom was right.
And if one of us wins,
it could get worse.
Well, what do you say we
all drop out of the contest?
I second that. I third it.
Well, let's go tell Mom.
Right. Right. Right.
Mom.
We've decided we don't want
to be included in the judging.
Oh, but you all did so well.
Any one of you could win.
Well, that's just it, Mom.
We don't want any
one of us to win.
And we don't want any one
of us to go to Chicago, either.
We figure maybe
we'll all get to visit there
one of these days, together.
Girls... What? What?
Welcome back to the family.
(girls laugh)
You girls were just
great, all three of you!
Uncle Joe, come here.
You're joshing.
All three?
(cheering, applause)
Now, judging from your applause,
the winner is... Tad Whipple!
(cheering, applause)
Congratulations, Tad.
Here's a 50.
Thanks.
Have you got anybody in mind
to go to Chicago with
you yet, Tad, my boy?
Yeah, my ma.
Send me a postcard, will you?
Now, folks, the Bradley
sisters will finish off the evening
with their version of the
Hooterville Cannonball.
(applause)
(music playing)
♪ There's a train that runs
through this wide valley ♪
♪ That is loved by one and all ♪
♪ It's the train that
starts way up in Pixley ♪
♪ Called the
Hooterville Cannonball ♪
♪ Well, she makes her run
through the dead of winter ♪
♪ Through the
summer, spring and fall ♪
♪ Neither cold nor heat
nor flood can stop her ♪
♪ She's the Hooterville
Cannonball. ♪
(train whistle blows)
(applause)
♪ Petticoat Junction. ♪
This has been a
Filmways presentation.