Perfect Strangers (1986–1993): Season 3, Episode 16 - Better Shop Around - full transcript
When the cousins win a supermarket shopping spree, Balki sees it as a chance to have fun, but of course Larry has a plan...
* Sometimes
the world looks perfect
* Nothing to rearrange
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling
* Like you need
some kinda change
* No matter what the odds
are this time
* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way
* This flame in my heart
* Like a long lost friend
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
* Standing tall
* On the wings of my dream
* Rise and fall
* On the wings of my dream
* The rain and thunder
* The wind and haze
* I'm bound for better days
* It's my life and my dream
* Nothing's gonna
stop me now *
Balki, I have to tell you,
I was a little bit worried
about eating a complete
Myposian dinner,
but this was delicious.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
Well, a Myposian dinner
calls for
a Myposian dessert.
And I've made you
the dessert of kings.
Bibbi Babkas.
What you are about
to have is the Myposian
national dessert treat.
Oh, thank you.
Legend has it that
the first Bibbi Babkas
were made
by Ferdinand Mypos
Festification indeed.
Well, go ahead.
I, I hope you
like them.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
ALL: Mmm.
Does this mean
you like them
or do we have gas?
Balki,
this cream filling
is incredible.
And these not only
taste good, they,
they make me feel good.
Like, listening to music.
Like looking
at great art.
I feel...
I feel taller.
Balki your Bibbi Babkas
are so good
I think you
could sell them.
Get out of the city.
I wouldn't feel right
taking your money.
No, Balki,
I don't mean
sell them to us.
I mean, sell them
to other people.
It could be
a nice little
business venture.
You could make
a couple of extra bucks
and get a lesson
in free enterprise.
You mean I could meet
Captain Kirk and Scotty?
I'll have full power for you
in an hour, Captain,
but I need more
Di-lithium crystals.
No, no, no...
No, Balki.
That's the
Starship Enterprise.
Free enterprise
is the American way
of doing business.
I tell you what.
You whip up a batch
of Bibbi Babkas
and tomorrow
I'll take them
to restaurants
and see if anybody
is interested.
This took me
all morning
and I'm the best
Bibbi Babka baker
on Mypos.
Believe me, baking
Bibbi Babkas is
a back-breaking business.
I understand, Balki.
You were
doing it alone.
There are four of us.
We'll... We'll all
do it together.
It'll be like a party.
Yeah, what do
you say, Balki?
Well, I... I guess
we could bake up
a batch of Bibbi Babkas
and see if anybody bites.
Beautiful.
Ready for
the next batch?
Can we sing
the Bibbi Babka
song again?
Well, of course we can,
don't be ridiculous.
You can't bake a batch
of Bibbi Babkas
without belting
the Bibbi Babka Ditty.
Ready?
* When you rolling out
the dough
* Just make sure
you roll it slow
* If you make
the dough too quick
* Bibbi Babka make you sick
BOTH:
* When you pour
the filling in
* Just make sure
you wear a grin
* When you smile
on what you bake
* Bibbi Babka turn out swell *
You'll never guess
where I've been.
Don't guess.
I went to
the Hyatt Regency Hotel
and gave a couple
of the Bibbi Babkas
He loved them
and he wants
some for Monday
Oh, Cousin,
that's wonderful.
We just made
three dozen.
How many do he want?
He wants 2,000.
Let me
get this straight.
Today is Saturday.
And this chef
wants us to make 2,000
Bibbi Babkas by Monday?
Right.
Do you know
how many dozen
2,000 are?
A 166 and
two-thirds dozen.
My father was a carpenter.
Cousin, you're just going
to have to call this chef
and tell him to make
a new plan, Stan.
I can't believe my ears.
Oh, they're okay,
they just stick out
a little bit.
Pull the hair,
let me see how
it is in the back.
We have a golden opportunity.
We have a chance to live
the American dream.
To control
our own destinies.
We'll start the first
Bibbi Babka company
in America!
Larry, aren't you getting
a little carried away.
You bet.
But that's the kind
of guy I am.
I like to take chances.
Roll the dice,
gamble on the future.
Uh, who are we talking
about here?
You? You don't like
to roll the dice.
You don't like
to gamble on the future.
You take 10 minutes
to change lanes.
Well, this is different.
This is the brass ring.
This is the whole enchilada.
The four of us could
own our own company.
I'm with you.
I'm with you.
Balki?
No, too much pressure.
LARRY: Balki.
What?
This is your chance
to make Mypos famous.
To put Mypos
on the culinary map.
by Monday is impossible.
Balki, God made
the world in six days.
Balki, trust me,
we can do it.
Cousin, Cousin, before
you run off half crocked,
I got to tell you that
you can't bake Bibbi Babkas
unless you bake them
the traditional Myposian way,
otherwise you run...
Well, of course
we'll bake them
the traditional Myposian way.
After all,
that's the fun part.
Now, what do you say?
Hmm
Dit tit it tit it tii...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
* Tit it tit it tii
Ti ti ti tit it tit ti
* Tit iti titi titi
* Ti ti ti tit iti ti
* Ti titi tit ti
* Di ti ti titi ti
* Ti ti titi tii
Ti ti titii *
* When you
ALL:
* Rolling out the dough
* Just make sure
you roll it slow
* If you make
the dough too quick
* Bibbi Babka make you sick *
Good news, everybody.
We've only been working
for 24 hours straight
and we've already reached
the half-way mark.
One thousand Bibbi Babkas.
BOTH: Yay.
That's the spirit.
right through to the end.
Don't bump me.
I didn't bump you.
You've been bumping me
for 16 hours.
It's just like
flying with Shriners.
Oh, so, now you're
making fun of my hat.
I'm not making fun
of your hat.
Well, maybe, if you'd
stop hogging the flour
I wouldn't have to bump you.
Okay, that's it.
BALKI: Ladies.
Ladies, ladies, ladies...
Please, what are
you doing?
Arguing in front
of the Bibbi Babkas.
They can't hear
ugly sounds like
arguing and fighting.
They've got to hear
beautiful sounds.
Sounds of love,
and gentleness,
and kindness.
Love, right, okay, look.
We are falling behind.
Larry, why don't you
put your clip board down
and get your hands white?
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey.
Somebody's got to supervise.
Look, I'm irritable,
tired and I just
want to go to sleep.
Listen, girls
why don't you take
a little break?
They can't take a break.
Well, then,
we won't take a break.
I quit!
And that goes
double for me.
Yeah, but, but,
girls, wait...
Goodnight, Balki.
We only have
a 1,000 more to go.
We need you.
Who needs them?
We do, Cousin.
We're up to our buttocks
in unbaked Bibbi Babkas.
If they don't help us,
we never finish in time.
Did I hear
Balki Bartokomous
say "never?"
Well, uh,
listen, Cousin, uh,
there's no way
I can bake 1,000
Bibbi Babkas by myself.
It's as simple as that.
Well, then I'll help you.
You will?
has to loosen
its tie and join hands
with the workers.
Well, on behalf of
all of us,
I bid you welcome.
Ready?
* When you rolling out
the dough
* Just make sure
you roll it slow
* If you make the dough
too quick
* Bibbi Babka make you sick
* When you pour
the filling in
* Just make sure
you wear a grin
* When you smile
on what you bake
* Bibbi Babka turn out swell *
Hey, Cousin, see.
One down
and only 999 to go.
Okay.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, hold on.
We're gonna have to lose
the Bibbi Babka Ditty.
We can't bump
the Bibbi Babka Ditty.
It's part and parcel
of the point by point process
of baking Bibbi Babkas.
process of baking
Bibbi Babkas,
Balki, buddy, but,
we gotta cut
some corners.
We're talking
mass-production here.
Don't bring religion
into this.
You can't bake Bibbi Babkas
without belting
the Bibbi Babka Ditty.
If you drop
the damn ditty,
you're doomed.
Okay. Okay, fine.
We'll keep
the Bibbi Babka Ditty
but we gotta pick up
the pace, Balki.
All right.
I can bop with the beat
a bit more briskly, boobie.
Five, six, seven, eight.
* When you rolling out
the dough
* If you make
the dough too quick
* Bibbi Babka make you sick
* When you pour
the filling in
* Just make sure
you wear a grin
* When you smile on
what you bake
* Bibbi Babka turn out swell *
Five, six, seven, eight.
* When you rolling out
the dough
* Just make sure
you roll it slow
* If you make
the dough too quick
* Bibbi Babka make you sick
* When you pour
the filling in
* Just make sure
you wear a grin
* When you smile on
what you bake
* Bibbi Babka turn out swell *
Five, six, seven, eight.
* Bup bup bup-pa
* Bup bup bup-pa
* Bup bup bup-pa
* When you pour
the filling in
* Rup bup bup-pa
* Rup bup bup-pa
* Rup bup bup-pa
* Rup bup bup-pa
* Rup bup bup-pa
* Rup bup bup-pa
Rup bup bup-pa *
Please...
Stop!
Cousin!
You are a man repossessed.
And loving it.
* Rup bup bup bup-pa
* Rup bup bup bup-pa *
Cousin, it's too fast.
And besides,
shouldn't I be leading?
Balki, do you want to make
Mypos famous or not?
Oh, give me
a line of credit.
You, you don't care
about making
Mypos famous, puh!
Puh!
I'm not.
I quit.
Okay. Fine. Quit.
I'll make all
the Bibbi Babkas myself.
Ha!
I beg your pardon?
Ha!
I beg your pardon?
What did I just say?
"Ha!"
You got that right.
I'm the only one
that knows how to make
Bibbi Babkas with
the special cream filling.
Oh, what's the big deal?
Oh, is that so?
I tell you what, Balki
if you can't take the heat
get outta my kitchen.
All right.
Fine.
You've made your cake.
Now, lie in it.
* Rup bup bup bup-pa
* Rup bup bup bup-pa *
Two thousand
Bibbi Babkas, buddy.
You know,
You know,
I think I'm gonna
hear it.
Balki, Balki, Balki...
But you see to make it
in business today,
you've gotta be willing
to sacrifice, persevere,
and yes,
compromise a little.
What was that?
I think that was
one of your compromises.
It's coming
from the boxes.
Don't open this box.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking
about this box.
Balki, take your hand
off this box.
All right.
If that what
you really want.
That's what
I really want. Okay?
The...
The Bibbi Babka exploded.
In my face.
Well, yes, it did.
And do you know why?
Because if you
don't make
the Bibbi Babkas
the traditional
Myposian way
the Bibbi in the Babka
goes boom.
The Bibbi in the Babka
goes boom?
Basically.
The chef at the hotel
was pretty upset.
You know French
is a colorful language.
I don't speak a word of it
and yet I understood
everything he said.
Balki, I had it
all planned.
I know, Cousin.
I had a schedule.
Oh, I know, Cousin.
I thought this was how
you started a business.
Could I talk now?
Where did I go wrong?
I guess not.
I'm sorry.
What were you
going to say?
There are somethings
that just can't be rushed.
Like, antiques,
red woods,
a really good episode
of Moonlighting.
Any episode of Moonlighting.
I guess you're right.
You think Jennifer
and Mary Anne
will still like me?
Ha, of course,
and of course they will.
Maybe after they
rest for a week
and if you send them
some flowers
they might even
speak to you again.
I could them a few
complimentary Bibbi Babkas.
A few of them
didn't explode.
Flowers.
Better.
the world looks perfect
* Nothing to rearrange
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling
* Like you need
some kinda change
* No matter what the odds
are this time
* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way
* This flame in my heart
* Like a long lost friend
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
* Standing tall
* On the wings of my dream
* Rise and fall
* On the wings of my dream
* The rain and thunder
* The wind and haze
* I'm bound for better days
* It's my life and my dream
* Nothing's gonna
stop me now *
Balki, I have to tell you,
I was a little bit worried
about eating a complete
Myposian dinner,
but this was delicious.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
Well, a Myposian dinner
calls for
a Myposian dessert.
And I've made you
the dessert of kings.
Bibbi Babkas.
What you are about
to have is the Myposian
national dessert treat.
Oh, thank you.
Legend has it that
the first Bibbi Babkas
were made
by Ferdinand Mypos
Festification indeed.
Well, go ahead.
I, I hope you
like them.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
ALL: Mmm.
Does this mean
you like them
or do we have gas?
Balki,
this cream filling
is incredible.
And these not only
taste good, they,
they make me feel good.
Like, listening to music.
Like looking
at great art.
I feel...
I feel taller.
Balki your Bibbi Babkas
are so good
I think you
could sell them.
Get out of the city.
I wouldn't feel right
taking your money.
No, Balki,
I don't mean
sell them to us.
I mean, sell them
to other people.
It could be
a nice little
business venture.
You could make
a couple of extra bucks
and get a lesson
in free enterprise.
You mean I could meet
Captain Kirk and Scotty?
I'll have full power for you
in an hour, Captain,
but I need more
Di-lithium crystals.
No, no, no...
No, Balki.
That's the
Starship Enterprise.
Free enterprise
is the American way
of doing business.
I tell you what.
You whip up a batch
of Bibbi Babkas
and tomorrow
I'll take them
to restaurants
and see if anybody
is interested.
This took me
all morning
and I'm the best
Bibbi Babka baker
on Mypos.
Believe me, baking
Bibbi Babkas is
a back-breaking business.
I understand, Balki.
You were
doing it alone.
There are four of us.
We'll... We'll all
do it together.
It'll be like a party.
Yeah, what do
you say, Balki?
Well, I... I guess
we could bake up
a batch of Bibbi Babkas
and see if anybody bites.
Beautiful.
Ready for
the next batch?
Can we sing
the Bibbi Babka
song again?
Well, of course we can,
don't be ridiculous.
You can't bake a batch
of Bibbi Babkas
without belting
the Bibbi Babka Ditty.
Ready?
* When you rolling out
the dough
* Just make sure
you roll it slow
* If you make
the dough too quick
* Bibbi Babka make you sick
BOTH:
* When you pour
the filling in
* Just make sure
you wear a grin
* When you smile
on what you bake
* Bibbi Babka turn out swell *
You'll never guess
where I've been.
Don't guess.
I went to
the Hyatt Regency Hotel
and gave a couple
of the Bibbi Babkas
He loved them
and he wants
some for Monday
Oh, Cousin,
that's wonderful.
We just made
three dozen.
How many do he want?
He wants 2,000.
Let me
get this straight.
Today is Saturday.
And this chef
wants us to make 2,000
Bibbi Babkas by Monday?
Right.
Do you know
how many dozen
2,000 are?
A 166 and
two-thirds dozen.
My father was a carpenter.
Cousin, you're just going
to have to call this chef
and tell him to make
a new plan, Stan.
I can't believe my ears.
Oh, they're okay,
they just stick out
a little bit.
Pull the hair,
let me see how
it is in the back.
We have a golden opportunity.
We have a chance to live
the American dream.
To control
our own destinies.
We'll start the first
Bibbi Babka company
in America!
Larry, aren't you getting
a little carried away.
You bet.
But that's the kind
of guy I am.
I like to take chances.
Roll the dice,
gamble on the future.
Uh, who are we talking
about here?
You? You don't like
to roll the dice.
You don't like
to gamble on the future.
You take 10 minutes
to change lanes.
Well, this is different.
This is the brass ring.
This is the whole enchilada.
The four of us could
own our own company.
I'm with you.
I'm with you.
Balki?
No, too much pressure.
LARRY: Balki.
What?
This is your chance
to make Mypos famous.
To put Mypos
on the culinary map.
by Monday is impossible.
Balki, God made
the world in six days.
Balki, trust me,
we can do it.
Cousin, Cousin, before
you run off half crocked,
I got to tell you that
you can't bake Bibbi Babkas
unless you bake them
the traditional Myposian way,
otherwise you run...
Well, of course
we'll bake them
the traditional Myposian way.
After all,
that's the fun part.
Now, what do you say?
Hmm
Dit tit it tit it tii...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
* Tit it tit it tii
Ti ti ti tit it tit ti
* Tit iti titi titi
* Ti ti ti tit iti ti
* Ti titi tit ti
* Di ti ti titi ti
* Ti ti titi tii
Ti ti titii *
* When you
ALL:
* Rolling out the dough
* Just make sure
you roll it slow
* If you make
the dough too quick
* Bibbi Babka make you sick *
Good news, everybody.
We've only been working
for 24 hours straight
and we've already reached
the half-way mark.
One thousand Bibbi Babkas.
BOTH: Yay.
That's the spirit.
right through to the end.
Don't bump me.
I didn't bump you.
You've been bumping me
for 16 hours.
It's just like
flying with Shriners.
Oh, so, now you're
making fun of my hat.
I'm not making fun
of your hat.
Well, maybe, if you'd
stop hogging the flour
I wouldn't have to bump you.
Okay, that's it.
BALKI: Ladies.
Ladies, ladies, ladies...
Please, what are
you doing?
Arguing in front
of the Bibbi Babkas.
They can't hear
ugly sounds like
arguing and fighting.
They've got to hear
beautiful sounds.
Sounds of love,
and gentleness,
and kindness.
Love, right, okay, look.
We are falling behind.
Larry, why don't you
put your clip board down
and get your hands white?
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey.
Somebody's got to supervise.
Look, I'm irritable,
tired and I just
want to go to sleep.
Listen, girls
why don't you take
a little break?
They can't take a break.
Well, then,
we won't take a break.
I quit!
And that goes
double for me.
Yeah, but, but,
girls, wait...
Goodnight, Balki.
We only have
a 1,000 more to go.
We need you.
Who needs them?
We do, Cousin.
We're up to our buttocks
in unbaked Bibbi Babkas.
If they don't help us,
we never finish in time.
Did I hear
Balki Bartokomous
say "never?"
Well, uh,
listen, Cousin, uh,
there's no way
I can bake 1,000
Bibbi Babkas by myself.
It's as simple as that.
Well, then I'll help you.
You will?
has to loosen
its tie and join hands
with the workers.
Well, on behalf of
all of us,
I bid you welcome.
Ready?
* When you rolling out
the dough
* Just make sure
you roll it slow
* If you make the dough
too quick
* Bibbi Babka make you sick
* When you pour
the filling in
* Just make sure
you wear a grin
* When you smile
on what you bake
* Bibbi Babka turn out swell *
Hey, Cousin, see.
One down
and only 999 to go.
Okay.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, hold on.
We're gonna have to lose
the Bibbi Babka Ditty.
We can't bump
the Bibbi Babka Ditty.
It's part and parcel
of the point by point process
of baking Bibbi Babkas.
process of baking
Bibbi Babkas,
Balki, buddy, but,
we gotta cut
some corners.
We're talking
mass-production here.
Don't bring religion
into this.
You can't bake Bibbi Babkas
without belting
the Bibbi Babka Ditty.
If you drop
the damn ditty,
you're doomed.
Okay. Okay, fine.
We'll keep
the Bibbi Babka Ditty
but we gotta pick up
the pace, Balki.
All right.
I can bop with the beat
a bit more briskly, boobie.
Five, six, seven, eight.
* When you rolling out
the dough
* If you make
the dough too quick
* Bibbi Babka make you sick
* When you pour
the filling in
* Just make sure
you wear a grin
* When you smile on
what you bake
* Bibbi Babka turn out swell *
Five, six, seven, eight.
* When you rolling out
the dough
* Just make sure
you roll it slow
* If you make
the dough too quick
* Bibbi Babka make you sick
* When you pour
the filling in
* Just make sure
you wear a grin
* When you smile on
what you bake
* Bibbi Babka turn out swell *
Five, six, seven, eight.
* Bup bup bup-pa
* Bup bup bup-pa
* Bup bup bup-pa
* When you pour
the filling in
* Rup bup bup-pa
* Rup bup bup-pa
* Rup bup bup-pa
* Rup bup bup-pa
* Rup bup bup-pa
* Rup bup bup-pa
Rup bup bup-pa *
Please...
Stop!
Cousin!
You are a man repossessed.
And loving it.
* Rup bup bup bup-pa
* Rup bup bup bup-pa *
Cousin, it's too fast.
And besides,
shouldn't I be leading?
Balki, do you want to make
Mypos famous or not?
Oh, give me
a line of credit.
You, you don't care
about making
Mypos famous, puh!
Puh!
I'm not.
I quit.
Okay. Fine. Quit.
I'll make all
the Bibbi Babkas myself.
Ha!
I beg your pardon?
Ha!
I beg your pardon?
What did I just say?
"Ha!"
You got that right.
I'm the only one
that knows how to make
Bibbi Babkas with
the special cream filling.
Oh, what's the big deal?
Oh, is that so?
I tell you what, Balki
if you can't take the heat
get outta my kitchen.
All right.
Fine.
You've made your cake.
Now, lie in it.
* Rup bup bup bup-pa
* Rup bup bup bup-pa *
Two thousand
Bibbi Babkas, buddy.
You know,
You know,
I think I'm gonna
hear it.
Balki, Balki, Balki...
But you see to make it
in business today,
you've gotta be willing
to sacrifice, persevere,
and yes,
compromise a little.
What was that?
I think that was
one of your compromises.
It's coming
from the boxes.
Don't open this box.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking
about this box.
Balki, take your hand
off this box.
All right.
If that what
you really want.
That's what
I really want. Okay?
The...
The Bibbi Babka exploded.
In my face.
Well, yes, it did.
And do you know why?
Because if you
don't make
the Bibbi Babkas
the traditional
Myposian way
the Bibbi in the Babka
goes boom.
The Bibbi in the Babka
goes boom?
Basically.
The chef at the hotel
was pretty upset.
You know French
is a colorful language.
I don't speak a word of it
and yet I understood
everything he said.
Balki, I had it
all planned.
I know, Cousin.
I had a schedule.
Oh, I know, Cousin.
I thought this was how
you started a business.
Could I talk now?
Where did I go wrong?
I guess not.
I'm sorry.
What were you
going to say?
There are somethings
that just can't be rushed.
Like, antiques,
red woods,
a really good episode
of Moonlighting.
Any episode of Moonlighting.
I guess you're right.
You think Jennifer
and Mary Anne
will still like me?
Ha, of course,
and of course they will.
Maybe after they
rest for a week
and if you send them
some flowers
they might even
speak to you again.
I could them a few
complimentary Bibbi Babkas.
A few of them
didn't explode.
Flowers.
Better.