Penn & Teller: Fool Us (2011–…): Season 8, Episode 14 - Ghostbusters - full transcript

From
the Penn & Teller Theater

at the Rio Hotel
in Las Vegas,

here's our host,
Alyson Hannigan!

Hello!

Welcome to "Fool Us."

Tonight, we bring you
a cast of magicians

all trying to pull one over
on Penn and Teller.

These folks have
been busy practicing

for this chance of a lifetime,
but the problem is

they're up against
two lifetimes of practice.

Of course, I'm talking
about the two and only



Penn and Teller.

The first magician
to fool Penn and Teller

wins a trip to Las Vegas

to perform in their
world-famous magic show.

So does the second,

as do any and all magicians
who can fool our guys.

Let's see
if tonight's first act

can get this Fooler party
started.

- I'm Sean-Paul.
- And I'm Juliana Fay.

We love
intriguing phenomenon,

the kind of things that
make you shudder in the night.

He's the consummate showman.

And she hears ghosts.

Together,
we cross the boundary



between ordinary life
and extraordinary experience.

We love to investigate
mysterious happenings.

Think of us as magic's
real Mulder and Scully.

Today, we're talking
about the White House.

It's one of the most
haunted buildings in America.

We go to spooky locations

and uncover
unsettling circumstances

that make you wonder,

is this the edge of reality?

Last time
we were on "Fool Us,"

we explored the bizarre

with our remarkable
mind-reading monkey.

You show me some respect.
That is...

This time,
it's just us

and some lost souls.

Assailants
you will never forget.

Penn, Teller,
take a trip with us

into the spirit realm.

Please welcome
the otherworldly magic

of Sean-Paul
and Juliana Fay.

Thank you,
Penn and Teller.

It is a thrill
to be here with you today,

especially because of a fact
we recently discovered.

This theater was built for you
about 20 years ago.

Is that correct?

A little longer,
but yeah, about that.

Okay, well, something
you may not be aware of,

this building sits atop ancient
magician burial grounds.

Yes. And then, naturally,
that means...

Your theater is haunted.

Ooh.

Yes, and not
by just any magician,

but by the great
Fooldini himself.

Fortunately, we are experts
in paranormal activity,

but we need
to enlist your help.

You, as the current residents
of this haunted location,

if you can identify three facts
about Fooldini's death,

he will be free to move on
to the afterlife

he so richly deserves.

Of course,
it's worth mentioning,

since this is your theater,
it's your problem.

But we're here to help.

Let's get started with Alyson.

- Could you help us, Alyson?
- Sure.

Go ahead
and have a seat here.

This is Fooldini's diary.

It was extracted
from his cold, dead hands.

It's a record
of words and ideas

that inspired
his many illusions and shows.

What I'd like you to do
is hold your hand out flat.

Put... put your
other hand on top.

Go into a soft trance.

Let Fooldini,
the spirit of him,

guide your thumb to the
exact page of his choosing.

When you have it, open it up,
look at that word.

- Do you have it?
- Yes.

Good. I want you to write
that word down big and bold

for our audience in the event
that we are successful.

- Okay.
- Write it down big and bold.

If we can learn
this last dying word,

it will help us set him free.

We believe that last dying word
to be on one of these pages.

- Okay.
- I'll take the pen.

Rip that piece of paper
off the pad,

but don't let anybody see it.

Press it up against your chest
or something like that.

- Fantastic. Good.
- Okay.

This diary was unsealed
from a box of evidence.

Inside are more artifacts

that were found in and
around Fooldini's gravesite.

We believe that one
of the remaining bagged items

is the murder weapon.

And we'll get to that
in a moment.

But Teller,
we know that Fooldini died

sometime in the 1800s.

In order to help him
move out of your theater,

we need to know
the precise dates.

You know a lot
about magic history, right?

We're hoping that
that knowledge will help us

get the exact year.

So what I'd like you to do,
just like Alyson did,

write down the year
in the 1800s

that you believe he perished.

I'll get you started here.

18-what?

It's just two digits.

I'll take the pen.

Please rip the piece of paper
off the pad as Alyson did.

Press it up against your chest.
You can keep it private.

Nobody gets to see that.
Thank you.

Please, Penn, now it's time
to take this to the next step.

Let's identify
the murder weapon.

We are convinced
in this box of evidence

lies the actual murder weapon,

but what was it exactly
that took him out?

You gentlemen know dangerous
a business this is.

- I do.
- Yes.

- Could've been a bullet catch.
- Oh, my goodness.

You know something
about that.

- Don't you?
- I do, I do.

Well, it could've been

the card stab, right?

Could've been strangulation
by...

- linking rings.
- Yeah.

Or maybe
somebody just got him...

By the sponge balls.

It happens, right?

So what we've got here,

let me just lead them
in your direction,

and I'd like you to let
the spirits guide your hand

as you select
one of those bagged items.

- Do you have one?
- I do.

Show it to the audience over
your shoulder, if you would.

Great.

Now, the time has come

to contact
the spirit of Fooldini,

and we will see
if Penn, Teller, and Alyson

have correctly identified
details about his death.

Juliana Fay.

How did full Fooldini die?
What killed him?

Linking rings.
Fooldini died by linking rings.

Penn, tell us,
what was the item you chose?

- Linking rings.
- Fantastic.

Great job, Penn.
One down, two to go.

Teller, you wrote down a year
that you believe he passed.

What was the year,
Juliana Fay?

I think I'm hearing 1869.

Will you show us 1869?

Now, one thing left, Alyson.
No pressure.

If you correctly
identified the word,

he will cross over
and leave.

But if you haven't,
he will haunt this building

for the rest
of your magical days.

What is he saying,
Juliana Fay?

I can't quite hear anything.

I think we're gonna have
to try something different.

His spirit has ghosted me.

Well, what do we have here?

Great spirit of Fooldini,

if we can identify
your last dying word,

will you leave this theater
and haunt it no more?

That's a yes.

Oh, that's really nice.

It's a message from
the other side, from Fooldini.

- Alyson, you chose a word.
- Yeah.

- Nobody saw it.
- No.

- Will you please join us?
- Yeah.

I would like you
to say and show everybody

the last passing word.

Good night.

It's a match.

Fooldini, be gone.

Wow!

Wow. Sean-Paul and Juliana Fay!

- Hi.
- Hi.

Well, that's so nice
of you guys

to clean the theatre for us.

Oh, it's the least
we could do.

- Who are you gonna call, right?
- Right, exactly.

So how do you become experts
in paranormal activity?

I think that when you're...
When you're younger,

you kind of... you get interested
in ghosts as little girls,

you know, having parties and
trying to levitate one another.

- Mm-hmm.
- Definitely. Oh, yeah.

The, like,
"stiff as a board,"

- or whatever?
- Yes.

So were all your performances
haunted

like the one you just did?

We do a wonderful experiment
with voodoo, right?

Sean has stopped his heart
before on screen.

Yes, and we bring out
a... a medical professional,

and they're... they're feeling
the heart rate, and it stops.

They're ringing a bell
to let the audience know.

And then, how do you
resuscitate me?

- With a bear trap.
- Snapped it right on my hand.

- Oh, my word.
- Yes. Then, I wake up.

I'm really glad you didn't
do that trick tonight.

- Yes.
- 'Cause I might've passed out.

- Yeah.
- The bottom line is...

Is not to make people
believe in anything,

but just having a great time.

All right, let's go
to Penn and Teller

and see if you can
spirit away a trophy.

Okay.

Hey, Sean-Paul.
Hey, Juliana.

Really, really good, you know,

because Teller and I,
as you know,

we're very skeptical
of a lot of paranormal stuff.

- Sure.
- But we have been so,

so annoyed by that ghost

that has been here,
the spirit of Fooldini,

and now,
that ghost is gone.

What a wonderful routine

and just the right level
of playful

and still... still
mysterious and wonderful,

and really good tricks
in there.

To think of doing
kind of the same thing,

but with different methods,

that was... that was
really, really terrific.

And although you were talking

about this being back
in the 19th century,

this act couldn't be done
in the 19th century.

This is really state-of-the-art
modern... modern stuff

done beautifully,
used beautifully,

and really concealed.

And that mixture is
always very, very nice

and really, really smart.

And the way
you work together

and communicate with one
another while you're doing it

is just great, and
your whole approach as a team.

You know,
we love teams.

But we got the impression
that you didn't fool us,

although ending
with the red ashes,

which is something I'd
never seen, but Teller knew,

the red ashes thing
is just beautiful.

And the way that works in
with the...

With the selection of Alyson
at the beginning

is really, really wonderful.

We just loved it,

but we don't think
you fooled us.

Was that clear enough to you?
Do they know your secrets?

- I think so.
- Okay.

- It's clear.
- Well, you didn't follow 'em,

but you certainly entertained
and cleaned the house.

- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.

- Thank you so much.
- Sean-Paul and Juliana Fay!

More fantastic magic
in a minute.

We'll be right back.

Welcome back
to "Fool Us,"

where we find magicians
from all over the world,

like this one.

I grew up in the shadow
of the crystal ball.

Coming to us
from an ancient Roman ruin,

the Italian magic
of Disguido!

Buona sera, America.

Good evening,
and welcome to Rome.

Italy is famous
for its magical architecture,

like this ancient aqueduct
behind us.

But it's also famous
for its amazing foods

and incredible wine.

Tonight,
my partner, Guido,

would like to amaze
you all and me

performing an ancient miracle.

Actually, two ancient miracles
in one.

He will walk on water

and turn the water into wine
at the same time.

Disguido!

- Hi.
- Hi, Alyson.

Why do you call yourselves
Disguido?

Disguido is
between Isabella...

And Guido.

My name is Guido,
she is Isabella.

Yes, but in Italian,
this word means...

- Misunderstanding.
- Oh, no.

Do you have a lot
of misunderstandings?

Yeah, of course.

- We are together from...
- 16 years.

- Yes.
- Yes.

So what's the secret
to your love affair?

Ha.

I think is because
we believe in miracles.

I'm more practical,
and he likes to dream.

And sometimes,
our secret is wine.

Okay.

Guido, Isabella, let's see
if you fooled Penn and Teller.

Hey, Guido.
Hey, Isabella.

Really nice.
Really great.

Boy, it's good to see Rome.

- Rome looks good.
- Yeah.

You know that we know
a lot of circus stuff.

We see a lot of circus stuff.

I've never seen anyone
walking on the glasses before.

- That's a great, great act.
- Thank you.

That's a great acrobatic.

And there's a wonderful
chemistry between you.

And a lot of people, you know,
when they see a miracle,

they just go for faith.

There's usually a scientific
explanation behind it.

And we just wanted to say
that we love the act,

love having you from Rome,

and love the acrobatics
of walking across there.

Did that so gracefully
and so amazingly.

And we loved it, but
I do not think you fooled us.

You don't believe
in miracles?

That is just true.

Well, if we don't fool you,
we say amen.

Yeah.

We have two full glasses.

- Aw, thank you so much.
- Thanks a lot.

- Disguido!
- Thank you.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

Don't go anywhere.

We have more fantastic magic
for you when we come back.

Congratulations.

You made it back in time
to see our next magician.

Take a look.

Hi, I'm Scott Kahn,
but you can call me Dr. Magic.

I knew I wanted to be a doctor
from the moment

I got my first kid's medical
set at the age of five.

I'm a family medicine
physician now,

and I love to incorporate
magic into my practice.

It's a great icebreaker
with patients

and it quickly calms down
anxious children.

I like to reverse-engineer
my tricks.

I come up with the idea
of how a trick will end.

Then, I figure out
the method afterwards.

I've also written
three magic books.

I don't make much money
from them,

but I like sharing my original
work with the magic community.

My wife is my hero.

She's a registered nurse,
and we met

in the back
of an ambulance.

She's my rock.

The hardest time in my life

was being away from her
during medical school.

She's become
my harshest magic critic.

Every trick I perform
goes past her first

to get her seal of approval.

My act tonight fooled her,
so I'm hoping

there's a chance
to fool Penn and Teller too.

Is there a doctor
in the house?

You bet there is!

Give it up
for Dr. Scott Khan.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

This might surprise you,

but I'm not the first person
in my family

to share the stage
with Penn and Teller.

Back in 1998,

my father was chosen
from the audience

to assist them with their
famous bullet catch illusion.

- Really?
- Wow.

That night,

my dad signed the tip
of this very bullet

and loaded it himself
into a .357 Magnum.

Teller then fired the gun
at Penn,

who caught the bullet
between his teeth.

Penn then spit
the signed bullet out

into my father's hand,
and I've had it ever since.

- Wow.
- That makes this

a legitimately certifiable,

one-of-a-kind magic bullet.

I'd like to show all of you
just how magical it really is.

Penn and Teller,
would you join me on stage?

Penn, Teller,

I'm gonna use
your magic bullet

to perform a rather
unique card trick tonight.

But before we do, we need
to choose a playing card.

So, Penn, if you would,

please name a card value,
ace through king.

- Six.
- Six. That's a fine choice.

And Teller, I'd like for you
to choose a suit.

Would that be diamonds?

So the six of diamonds

will be Penn and Teller's
selected card.

- Yes.
- Now, a unique card trick

needs a unique deck of cards.

These playing cards
are made of clear plastic,

so you can see
through them.

I've chosen to use this deck

so that everyone can see
everything very fairly.

Nothing to hide
with clear, plastic cards.

We'll start by removing
your card from the deck.

Here it is.

The six of diamonds.

Teller, would you mind
examining the card?

Does it look gimmicked
in any way?

I promise you,
it's not.

Now, Penn,
we need to make the...

Oh, I'm sorry.

Here's a marker for you.

We need to make
this card uniquely yours,

so I'm gonna ask for you
to sign your initials here

on the back of the card.

Perfect.

And in the lower corner,

please draw a small picture.

It could be a smiley face,
for example,

or whatever comes to mind.

- A peace sign.
- Yes.

Perfect.

And I'll take the marker back
for you.

Thank you.

You can clearly
see Penn's initials

and drawing on the back
of the six of diamonds.

I'm gonna place your card back
inside the card case

for just a moment.

You may have noticed

the card case is also made
of clear plastic.

Again, nothing to hide.

Now, in order to demonstrate
the power of the magic bullet,

we need a second card.

So I'll choose...

I'll choose
the king of spades.

I've always liked that card.

And, Penn,
since you signed your card too,

- I'll sign mine.
- Okay.

I'll sign my first name
in the outer corner.

Scott.

And my last name
in the lower corner.

Khan.

Again, nothing to hide.

Now Penn, Teller,

you fired this bullet
23 years ago.

It's trajectory that night
changed my life today.

And it's traveled
all the way back here

for one final moment,
this moment.

If I touch my signed card
to the tip of the magic bullet,

just like this,

it mysteriously changes

into Penn and Teller's
selected card,

the six of diamonds.

You'll notice, however,
that my signature

is now on their selected card.

Please note, you can
still see Penn's signature

and drawing on the card
inside the case.

But if I very slowly
and very fairly

remove the card
from inside the case,

you'll see that
it's now my selected card,

the king of spades,

but with Penn's signature
and drawing on it.

Both the cards
and the signatures

have magically changed places,

proof of the mysterious power

of Penn and Teller's
magic bullet.

- Good job.
- Good luck.

Okay, Scott Khan.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

- That was so nice.
- Thank you.

So you're a doctor?

I am.
I'm a family medicine doctor.

Does that help you
with magic?

Well, I like
to incorporate magic

into my practice, actually.

So it's obviously been
a very busy year for you.

How have you had time
to practice magic?

Well, you have
to have an outlet.

And magic is my outlet.
It's my passion.

It's been my passion
since I was a little boy.

And it has been
a really tough year

for all of us in the healthcare
profess... profession.

Yes.

So magic has just been
an outlet for me

that lets me kind of step away
from the stress

associated with the job.

Well, we thank you
and all of your colleagues

for everything you've done

and continue to do
for everyone.

Thank you very much.
I appreciate it.

All right, Dr. Khan.

Let's see
if Penn and Teller

could see
through your magic trick.

Okay.

Doctor, Doctor, Mr. MD.

That's all true?
That's a real bullet?

- That is a true story...
- Exactly. It's .357 Magnum.

It's got the same striations
on it.

It's... it looks like our bullet,
but that's all true?

That is your bullet
that you spit out

into my father's hand
in 1998.

Wow, we're so flattered

that you worked a whole trick
around that.

That's just wonderful.

And you know,
you add so much

by putting the clear cards in.

It really feels like that's
a whole other level of proving

on a signed card thing.

It's really nice, and it's
a really straightforward style,

and a really,
really good trick.

It has that magical quality
of things changing places,

and we just really,
really liked it.

But you know,
we know a little bit

about card history and tricks.

And you know, Doctor,
um, I... I just...

Scarne!

I think I'm getting a
little bit of a tickle in my...

Scarne!

A little bit of a tickle
in my nose there,

but I think I may have
a little bit of a cold

and you may also have
a little bit of an idea

that we know what you did.

- Is that right there, Doctor?
- I think they might have.

Is he giving you clues,

or is he trying
to get free medical advice?

I think they might have
a pretty good idea

how... what happened there.

- Seems to have all cleared up.
- Yeah, okay. That's good.

- You're a phenomenal doctor.
- Thank you.

- So you didn't fool them.
- And a very good

- card magician.
- No, I think they got it.

Aw. Well, thank you,
Dr. Scott Khan.

Thank you very much.
Thank you, guys.

Don't go anywhere.

Plenty of impossible
still to come.

Stay close.

Welcome back.

I think I'll show you
our next magician right now.

And yes,
Star is my real name.

My parents were hippies
who had no idea

of how difficult of a name
it would be to grow up with.

Star sounds really glamorous,

but I'm from Minnesota, so I'm
still pretty down-to-earth.

And when I say down-to-earth,
I mean literally.

I'm very short,

which is probably
why I wear sparkles a lot.

It's so that
people can find me.

I got started in magic
when I was 12 years old,

but I love all aspects
of show business.

I have a BA in theater,
and I've been a prop designer,

a stagehand,
an actress,

but recently, I've been
working in a library.

And it's kind of funny
because library staff are seen

as some
of the most trustworthy people

in the community,

but magicians,
not so much.

I've used all of my experience

to put together a trick
for Penn and Teller

with my own special twist.

Penn and Teller,

tonight is my chance
to live up to my name.

It's time for some outrageous
magic from Star Newman.

Hello, Penn and Teller.

You two have made a name
for yourself

by doing two things:

Danger magic and exposing
how tricks are done.

Tonight,
in your honor,

I'm going to do both

and maybe, just maybe, fool you
at the same time.

You see,
for decades,

magicians have been
putting women in peril.

Fortunately, this is not
the old days anymore.

If I'm going
to risk life or limb,

I'm going to do it myself...

with the help of Alyson,
of course.

Alyson, would you mind
helping me out?

- Sure.
- Okay.

Life or limb
is a little scary.

Oh, don't... don't be afraid.
And besides,

we're gonna use this
medieval-looking contraption.

- Great.
- Which I have cleverly painted

- with glitter.
- So it's friendly.

To make it seem
less threatening.

- Yeah. Perfect.
- Right?

- Just put my arm in here, and...
- Oh.

- You see this stick?
- Yeah.

I grab that stick.

It's going to help me
endure the pain

that I'm about to experience.

- Great.
- Okay. Are you ready?

You get to help me
do the impossible.

Okay.

Just grab your side
of the box.

Right.
Like this?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

And you're going
to start rotating it

in the direction
of the arrows.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- You ready?
- Not really, but...

Okay, you can do it.
You can do it, trust me.

Trust, this hurts me
more than you.

- Okay.
- And rotate.

Keep going, keep going.
Give it a nice, big turn.

- Oh, my goodness.
- All the way around.

- Let's do it again.
- Stop?

- No. Let's do it again.
- Whoa! Okay.

Oh, it's getting
a little harder.

- Okay. I'm sorry.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.

- Okay, okay, okay.
- Okay? Let go?

Let's take a look
at what you did to me.

- Oh, dear.
- Right out here?

Here we go.

I can only stay like this
for so long.

I'm starting to lose
circulation in my arm.

- Can you untwist me, please?
- Yes.

Thank you.

No, you're doing good.
No, no, keep going.

- Okay.
- Don't... don't leave me now.

- We've got one more.
- Okay, okay.

- One more.
- Okay, okay.

Perfect.

- Am I done?
- No, not done.

Now you're done.

And now, I have feeling back
in my arm.

Okay.

- But.
- Oh, but.

No, but you probably think

this is some sort
of a gimmicked box.

So I'm going to do what I said
I was going to do,

and I'm going to show everybody
exactly how I did this trick.

- Okay.
- Be prepared to be amazed.

Or grossed out.

- Probably both.
- Hopefully both.

- Yeah.
- That's... that's the goal.

I do need... I do need Teller
for this, though.

Teller, would you mind
helping us out?

Teller, keep it going.
Right about there.

That would be perfect.
And Alyson.

Teller, I'm taking a page
out of the playbook

of Penn and you.

I brought some plexiglass,

this way, you can see
the twisting as it happens.

Would you two each hold
one side of the board

with both hands?

When I say go, you're going
to start rotating the board

in this direction,

but first, there are
three things to remember.

Number one,

you will see some things
that you don't want to see.

Number two,
don't stop twisting.

Just keep going.
Like pulling a Band-Aid off

of a hairy part
of a loved one, okay?

But number three,

unlike a Band-Aid,
slow is key here.

Don't stop
unless I tell you to.

Ready? Go.

This feels wrong already.

- A little slower.
- Slower?

- That's good.
- Oh.

Are we gonna hear noises?

Good. That's good.
That's good.

- Stop?
- Oh, no. Keep going.

Keep going, keep going.

- Okay. That's kinda gross.
- Keep going, keep going.

Okay.

This isn't actually okay.

No, it is. It is. It is.
Keep going, keep going.

- Okay. All right.
- Keep going.

Keep going.

Keep going.
Keep going.

Ah! I'm gonna
hear a pop soon.

Keep going,
keep going, keep going.

- It's gonna be in my head.
- Keep going, keep going.

Keep going.
Okay, and stop.

Let go of the board.

Teller, would you hang
onto the board, please?

- And, Alyson.
- Ugh!

You know what time it is.

- Ugh!
- Here. Wait, wait, wait.

Let me... let me
make it easier for you.

Oh, please.
That's so scary. Okay.

Yeah? Okay.
I know.

And just give it a little.

- Ahh!
- Ah, back the other way.

Just warming it up
for the arm twist.

Ahh.

And...

Okay.
I'm gonna go throw up.

I think we're good.

Teller and Alyson,
thank you two so much

for helping me out
with one twisted trick.

Ooh.

This was... ugh!

Yay! Star Newman!

- Sorry.
- No, you're good.

All right, you like
grossing people out, huh?

I do. I do, but I like
to surprise them with it.

You know, I don't look
very threatening.

No, it's so good.

What's the greatest thing
about magic?

You can really
connect with people.

When you share, like, a magical
moment, even if it's gross,

and especially if it can happen
in their hand,

then... then it's like,
that's... that's a connection.

Have you always been
in show business?

I have.
I was in theater first.

And then, I... when I was 12,
I was boy-crazy

and I had a crush on a boy

who was a friend of the family,
and he was a magician,

so I said I wanted
to be a magician

as a way to connect
and talk to him.

And I've stuck with it,
and it's a love of my life.

That's so cool.
All right, Star.

Let's see if Penn and Teller
know how you worked your magic.

All right.
Let's see.

- Hey, Star.
- Hey there.

Boy, such a nice style,
nice vibe.

Really, really good.

And it's such a smart idea,

using the version
of the head twister.

And you've just adapted
the head twister to the arm,

which is really nice using
a box illusion like that

to set up the real thing
you did at the end,

where it's a really good trick.

It's a trick that other
magicians do on the floor.

And you have
this brilliant idea

of doing with a piece
of plexiglass,

which you've never seen done.

Is that's your own idea?

Thank you.
I'm a magic teacher.

Yeah.
It's really, really good.

It just makes it look
a lot better than on the floor,

and it's really good
and really wonderful.

And because you did a really,
really much better version

of a trick that we knew,
we know the basis of that.

So you didn't fool us,
but when you come on next time,

we would like to be
really grossed out

by what you...
What you twist up.

- How about that?
- All right.

I can do it.
I'll take it as a challenge.

Well, you didn't fool 'em,

but you certainly
entertained us all.

Thank you so much.
Star Newman!

Nicely done, Star.
Thank you.

Coming up,
if you want to see

Penn and Teller
get out of those chairs

and get to work,
you're in luck.

Our main men of magic
do a trick of their own

when "Fool Us" returns.

For tonight's finale,

Penn and Teller are joined
by Grammy-winning legends,

Marilyn McCoo
and Billy Davis Jr.

Take it away, everybody.

Hey Billy. Hey Marilyn.
How are you doing?

- Well, we're doing fine.
- We're great. How are you all?

We're doing very well.
Thank you.

So we're gonna
do a trick for you,

and this is about our show,
"Fool Us," you know,

because the whole idea
of the show is to fool us.

So someone will come out,
and they'll have, like,

a flaming hoop that
they'll put around a Camaro

with a mutant tiger
driving it.

The crowd will go crazy,
and we go,

"Oh, that was wonderful.
We loved it, but no trophy."

Then, someone comes out
and does a card trick,

and we go crazy
and the trophy comes down.

It's because we're watching for
different things to fool us.

We're gonna show you a trick
that you might see,

that might just
look normal to you,

where a magician comes out,
and maybe she takes a deck

and she riffles down
and just says stop.

Say stop whenever you want,
any card you want.

- Stop.
- Stop. Right there.

So that's a card you selected,

and you had that card
in your head.

Do not forget it,
no matter what.

Remember that card.

And then,
the magician,

she'll take
and spread the cards out.

The magician says,
"You know, I think your card,"

maybe they do some patter here

about psychically getting
information from space aliens,

"I think your card is about...
24 down in the deck."

Then, they count down one,
two, three, four, five, six,

seven, eight, nine, ten,

11, 12, 13, 14, 15,

16, 17, 18, 19, 20,

21, 22, 23.

And that's the 24th card
right there.

Then, they'll say, "What
was the name of your card?"

And you say...

- It was the ace of hearts.
- Ace of hearts.

24th card down,
the ace of hearts.

- Oh, my goodness, it's crazy.
- Wow, okay.

And the crowd goes crazy.
That's a great trick.

They liked that card trick,
but that does not get a trophy.

And we'll show you the kinds
of things we're looking for.

While the magician
is talking about

how she grew up
in a brothel

when her grandmother
was a space alien

and there was a cowboy that
came in and taught her a trick,

we're not listening
to any of that.

We're not interested
in the jokes.

We don't even want it.

All we're looking at
is a deck of cards.

We're making sure that
every one of those cards

is different, that
it's a complete deck there,

and they're
in no special order.

Once we see that,
well, that trophy comes in.

In our minds, the trophy's
a little closer to being won.

Then, when they have
you select a card,

she's going
to do it differently.

If she wants to win a trophy,
she's gonna riffle down,

but she's gonna
give you a choice.

So riffle down,
and say stop.

Stop.

Now, do you want
to go further?

- Yes.
- Okay. Get a little further.

Say stop again.

Stop.

Now, that trophy comes down
a little closer

'cause you really had
a free choice of that card,

and also, we're not looking,
we're not looking.

So now,
she's got a chance.

That trophy is so close,
we can smell it.

But now, the next step
is really important...

Now, don't forget that card...

And that is, we've seen
the cards roll different,

we've seen they're in no order,
you had a choice of a card,

you could also
have gone further.

Now, we're watching as
the cards are being shuffled,

and we know that was dealt
with the vaguest table shuffle

and a perfect cut.

And then, the cards
are spread out like this,

but here's the part
that's so important.

The last time,
the magician named the number.

So that's just you pick a card,
the magician knows where it is,

but any card, any number would
be you naming that number.

So name any number you want.
Name a number for me.

- 11.
- Okay. We'll count down 11.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten,

11.

If you'd picked 12,

that card would have been
the nine of diamonds.

That was the one you picked,
wasn't it? That was not it.

If you'd picked ten, it would
have been the five of spades.

That was not
the card you picked.

Now, this is so close,
I can taste it.

If that's the card at 11,
at the number you picked,

the card you picked,
any card, any number...

What was the name
of your card you picked?

- Three of spades.
- Three of spades.

- If that's the three of spades...
- Whoa!

- They take the trophy.
- Yes!

Thank you very much, Marilyn.

Thank you so much, Billy.

- And we've one another trophy.
- Another trophy.

Tonight's show is down
for the count,

but we'll get back
in the ring soon.

See you next time on "Fool Us."
Good night.

What number is that?