Penn & Teller: Fool Us (2011–…): Season 8, Episode 13 - Penn on Fire - full transcript

- From the Penn & Teller Theater

at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas,

here's our host,
Alyson Hannigan!

- Welcome to "Fool Us."

You might think bringing
a magician to Las Vegas

to try and fool Penn and Teller

in their own theater

is like leading a
lamb to the slaughter.

But there's nothing I love
more than the sheepish grin

on a magician's face

when they pull the wool
over Penn and Teller's eyes.



So let's bring out the
"baa-d" boys of magic,

Penn and Teller!

Remember, if a magician
fools Penn and Teller,

they win a slot in their show,

a "Fool Us" trophy,

and international
bragging rights.

Take a look at
tonight's first magician.

- A good magician is
willing to do the work

that no one else
is willing to do.

That's been my
philosophy my entire life.

My first job when I was
13 was in a magic shop.

I took a bus four hours
each day to work for free,

just so I can learn
more about magic.

I wanna be the
best at what I do.



I've even broken three
Guinness World Records,

but I'm still working towards
my ultimate goal in life:

being the world's
most interesting dad.

Tonight, I wanna
fool Penn and Teller.

I've never worked so
hard on anything before.

There's been sleepless
nights in all my efforts.

It's been an obsession
for five freakin' years.

I've done the work, and
now I want that trophy.

- Joined by two random
world-class magicians,

please welcome the
fitz-magic of John Fitzsimmons.

- Thank you.

For the past five years,

my team and I have
spent thousands of dollars

and countless hours
developing a new technology

that allows me to
read your digital aura,

tap into the cloud,

analyze your predictive
thought patterns,

and then "read your minds."

I know the thought of
this technology is terrifying.

So I've actually
cleverly disguised

this bleeding-edge
scientific breakthrough

to look like a card trick.

This is an ordinary
deck of cards.

I'd buy them in bulk.
They're $12.49 a dozen.

I'm up to a pack a
day. It's a bad habit.

I'm trying to cut back.

But I will pull the
seal open right here.

No funny business.

The tab is taped.

Break that open.

We'll get rid of the
little advertising cards

and the jokers, leaving
us with our 52 friends.

Okay. I'm gonna
give 'em a quick mix.

And Alyson, if you
would help me first,

go ahead and take the cards.

Go through the deck.
Find any card you like.

It could be a favorite card.
It could be a random card.

It could be your
least favorite card.

I mean, who likes the eight
of diamonds anyway, right?

Just take
any card you like,

pull it out of the
deck, and hang onto it

in case we need it
as evidence later.

All right. In fact, I'll
take the cards back,

and if you would
just hold that card

between your hands
like... that was perfect too.

Just so I can't
see the card at all.

And Penn, I'm gonna have
you take the deck and go ahead

and remove any card
you like, do the same thing.

It could be your favorite
card, your least favorite card.

The choice is yours.

I'll look over
here at Alyson. Hi.

And then hand
the deck to Teller.

And Teller, I'm guessing
you know what to do by now.

Go ahead and remove
any card you like.

All right.

And I will take the cards back,

and now the fun can begin.

Some assembly required.

Let's see here.

This is the

Serious Thought Uploading
Psychic Infused Dynamic Hat,

or as my wife
likes to call it...

the S.T.U.P.I.D. hat.

I'm gonna put it
on and buckle up

in case it's a bumpy ride.

All right, now, this
hat... I know, right?

This hat is packed full
of the latest technology.

It's got machine learning,
artificial intelligence,

a 2.4 gigahertz
wireless data connection.

It's got buttons,
switches, and a knob.

Not only that, but
it's got over 100

light emitting diodes.

In the right conditions,

you can see this
thing from space.

Ooh! - Aww.

- I know, right?
I'm excited too.

Now, what I want you to do
is concentrate on your cards.

In a moment, I'm gonna
try to read your digital aura

and then tell you exactly
what cards you've chosen.

Are you ready?

Alyson, I want you to think
of the color of your card.

Just send it to me.
Okay. Good. Good.

I'm getting a little
interference today.

I don't know what it is.

Go ahead and send me the
color of your cards, gentlemen.

Let's see. All right.

Now, Alyson, I want
you to send me your suit.

Think of your suit. Just
concentrate on your suit.

All right, gentlemen,
concentrate on your suits.

Concentrate. Not
pin-striped suits, guys.

Your playing card
suits. Okay. Thank you.

All right.

Now, Alyson,
think of your value.

Perfect.

And then gentlemen,
think of the value.

All right. Now, in a moment,

I'm going to reveal the cards.

Once I reveal the cards,
if you could just clap,

letting everybody here know

that I've actually
named your cards.

Are you ready
for this? All right.

I'm getting the ace of diamonds

and the six of diamonds.

If I've got your card,

just show it to the
audience or show it here.

Okay. That's two cards.
I didn't get all three.

I'm sorry. It's
that interference.

I'm gonna need my antenna.

Aww.

- All right, Penn.
You ready to do this?

- I am.
- Okay.

That's not bad, though.
Two out of three is not bad.

Let's go for all three.

Send me the color of your card.

I'm getting a red card, a heart.

I want you really to
shout it out with your mind.

Just send it to
me. Are you ready?

On the count of three.
Here we go. One, two, three.

It's clearly a red
card. It's a heart.

The eight of hearts.

Go ahead and show everybody.

The eight of hearts,
the magic of technology.

I'm John Fitzsimmons.

Thank you very much, gentlemen.

- John Fitzsimmons!

- Well, thank you very much.

- That was so good.

That was incredible.

- I've literally
spent five years

developing that trick
just to be here tonight.

- Well, you definitely
win the award

for the silliest hat we've
ever had on the show.

- Well, thank you very much.
That's an honor right there.

- So are you a
full-time magician?

- I'm a stay-at-home
dad during the week,

and then I get to do magic
on the nights and weekends.

- Aww.

- And do fun adventures
like this as well.

Currently, I'm training
for the world's fastest

straitjacket escape from
a regulation straitjacket

while riding a unicycle.

- Is there a lot of
competition in that field?

- So far, no one has the record.

- I just... I'm picturing
your neighborhood,

and, like, the
neighbors are like,

"Oh, there he goes again."
- Every day.

Every day. I'm on it...

- Do your kids
inspire new tricks?

- Absolutely.
Yeah. All the time.

In fact, I still use my
seven-year-old's diaper

in my kid show to this day,

and yeah, it's...
- Ew.

- Well, it's not a used
diaper; it's a clean one.

But it gets a laugh every time.

- Okay, good. Okay, John.

I think they've
had plenty of time

to reverse engineer this trick.

Don't you?
- I hope not.

- Oh, John,
you... you wily bastard.

I think that you kind of
told us how it was done

while you were doing it.

I mean, you said
it was technology.

You lied about one thing.

It's not stupid technology.

It's wicked smart technology.

You had that stupid
helmet with the switches

and all that stuff
going on and just said,

"Oh, this helmet is
just make-believe."

The helmet is actually
doing part of the trick.

You actually were telling
us what you were doing.

And, you know, you always
try to claim for creativity

to think outside the
box, but a lot of time,

the really creative
people think inside the box.

And you were doing that,
thinking inside the box

in terms of this is what a
good card trick should be.

The work you do,

wicked complicated,
wicked technological,

and wicked tied to that helmet

with all its switches
and knobs and so on.

So I think we have something.

I don't know. Surprise me.

- All right. That was
all gibberish to me.

John, do they know
how you did your trick?

- I think they do.
I think they do.

These guys are geniuses.

- Thank you so
much for having me.

- Well, thank you. It was great.

- This is truly a
dream come true.

- Oh, you were amazing.

Thank you, John Fitzsimmons.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

- Stick around.

More "Fool Us" coming
up after the break.

- Welcome back to "Fool Us,"

where playing cards are
never used for blackjack.

Let's see if a "Fool Us"
trophy is in the cards

for our next magician.

- When my son Matthew
was one year old,

he was diagnosed
with type 1 diabetes,

and that opens up
your eyes quite a bit.

Ten years later,
he's doing great,

but I still try to use my magic

to help raise money
and spread awareness

of type 1 diabetes through
different foundations.

- Oh, my God!

- People ask me if I can support

a family of four on
a magician's salary.

Well, they don't
say it like that.

They say, "Oh,
you're a magician.

Do you have a real job?"

- Oh, my God.

- And I do have a real job.

I'm in show business.

- Come on!

- Magic is the show,

and marketing is my business.

Magic and marketing
have a lot in common.

In both cases, I'm
using psychology

to try to get people
to do what I want.

Tonight, I'm gonna be using

a very powerful
psychological technique.

Let's see if it works
on Penn and Teller.

- Joined by Penn and
Teller, here's David Corsaro.

- Thank you.

You know, as a magician,

I'm constantly looking
for new ways to influence

what people say
and what they do.

And recently, my
research has led me to...

You guessed it... Ivan Pavlov.

- Now, hopefully
for some of you,

that name rings a bell.

Let me explain.

If you believe the saying

that you can't teach
an old dog new tricks,

then Ivan Pavlov

was one of the greatest
magic teachers of all time,

because he discovered that
you could train a dog to salivate

just by ringing a bell.

That's right.

Every time he rang a bell...

His dog drooled.

So tonight, I'm
gonna to try to apply

that same scientific technique
to the Great Danes of magic,

Penn and Teller, but
not to make you drool.

But hopefully to
make you fooled.

- Hmm.

- Let me explain.

As part of my
journey to try to fool...

Penn and Teller,

I decided to study

all of the foolers...

From the past and see

if there was a common
denominator of things

that successfully fooled...

Penn and Teller

and things that didn't fool...

Them.

I even went back and watched

all of the past
episodes of "Fool"...

"Us"

and made a list of
the words and phrases

that Penn had used most often
every time he was describing

a successful a fooler.

Now, you
can see the words

come in all different
shapes and sizes.

Good, creative, confident,
comfortable, smart,

strong, powerful, cool,
clever, unique, exciting.

I even put the word that
Teller used most often.

Mm.

- So, Penn, Teller,
Alyson, if the three of you

would please indulge
me for a moment.

Just pick the
word that you think

all successful foolers...

Should be.

Penn, what do you think?

- Powerful.
- Powerful, powerful.

Okay. Teller. You
wanna just point to one?

- Clever. Powerful
and clever. Alyson?

- Can I point to Teller's word?

- You can point
to Teller's word.

Do you want to just
do Teller's word?

- Uh, I'll do creative.
- It's up to you.

Okay. Powerful,
clever, and creative.

Yes. Powerful,
clever, and creative.

Perfect.

Let me just actually
erase all of these words

so that nobody
changes their mind

or gets confused
or anything like that.

Oh, a little David Corsaro
subliminal messaging

doesn't hurt either.

But see, there's
actually another message

that you created.

There's a message hidden
inside this deck of cards.

Let me spell it out for you.

Literally.

Your word was powerful.

P-O-W-E-R-F-U-L.

Your word was clever.

C-L-E-V-E-R.

And your word was?

- Creative.
- Creative.

C-R-E-A-T-I-V-E.

Now, I should point out,
this is not a card trick,

because this is not a
regular deck of cards.

This deck of cards
actually contains the names

of everybody who's ever
fooled Penn and Teller.

We've got Paul
Gertner, Boris Wild,

Chris Capehart, Helen
Coghlan, David Roth,

Helen Coghlan
again, Helen Coghlan...

Well, she's in here a lot.

Shawn Farquhar.

But after doing all that and
spelling those names out,

we have all the people who
have fooled Penn and Teller.

And after we use

the attributes
that you selected,

we ended up on this person.

Not this one who was Doc Dixon,

but this one.

And if all of my
Pavlovian tomfoolery...

Worked,

hopefully we can add
my name, David Corsaro,

to the list.

Oh, my...

- Thank you very much,
guys. Appreciate it.

- Thank you - Thank you.

- David Corsaro, everyone!

Wow. That was so good.

- Thank you very
much. I appreciate it.

- What does it mean to
you to be here tonight?

- I wanted to just come
out here with something fun

and also something
that sort of pays homage

to all the past foolers.
- Definitely.

And have you really
watched every single episode?

- I did. I literally transcribed

every single thing Penn had said

and kept a tally
sheet of everything.

If you ever want some
of your statistics as well,

I might have those as well, I...

- No, I certainly don't.
- I'm just saying.

- I think the
easier the trick is,

the harder it is for
them to figure out,

because they are so smart
that they go to, like, "Okay,

"so they moved the
planet and the da-duh-duh,

and the history and the..."

And then they're like,
"No, it was my watch."

- Yeah. Planet moving
was one of the ways

I was gonna consider doing this,

but I would actually
agree with you

that if the method
behind your trick

is extraordinarily clever,

then you almost have to
come up with another way

to maybe perhaps lead
them down that path.

- All right, David, let's see
if your Pavlovian techniques

earned you a trophy.

- Hey, David.
- Hello.

- Nice trick.
- Thank you.

- I like Pavlovian
ideas. That's very good.

You've always got our
attention when you do a joke

about Helen Coghlan
fooling us all the time.

In another two seasons,
you'd be able to do

that whole trick
with just her name.

- Just her name. Yeah.
- Yeah. Nobody else's name.

Really, really good.

We did not see you doing any...

Any card moves at all.

We were burning you.

Absolutely burning
you, and we didn't see

any seconds or bottoms
or anything going on there.

So we had to go
down another road,

which is that list of words

that so nicely spells out
your name when erasing.

We couldn't help but
notice that many of those

have the... the same... the
same number of letters.

And we think maybe
you got a little bit lucky.

Like, I picked a longer word,

then Teller picked
a medium word.

Then you were
right there for Alyson

and that maybe if Teller
had picked a longer word, too,

you would've had
to push Alyson on

to one of the shorter words.

But I think it all
went really smoothly.

We all came out
kind of in the middle.

We didn't have time to work out

the number of
letters on everything,

but we think that the trick
is not in the card handling,

but rather in the
psychological handling

of the words there.

We... do you want more?
Are we close enough?

Do you think that
we've got the basic idea?

- Um...

- David, does he know
how you did your trick?

- He doesn't know
how I did the trick.

It's not
in the words at all?

- It's not in the words at all.

- Don't bust me
in the specifics.

It's not in the
number of... it's...

It's in
the card handling.

Ring... start ringing the bell.

- Yay!
- Go ahead and ring the bell.

- Fooler! Yay!

- Thank you.

- Congratulations.
Oh, my goodness.

- Thank you so much.
- Yay!

- Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.

- David Corsaro!

Penn and Teller
just got dunked on.

We'll give them a time out
to adjust their game plan.

Come back for more "Fool Us."

- Welcome back to
this magical rodeo.

Look at who we roped
into doing our show now.

- Joining us from Spain,

here's magic duo
Diego and Elena.

- Diego and Elena!

Oh, my goodness.
That is incredible.

That was so beautiful.

Penn and Teller
have been working

on something quite
similar.

I was just sitting
there thinking,

"Well, they're just ready
for their own show in Vegas."

Like, I would buy tickets
to that show every night.

- Nice.
- Okay. We will do it.

- This seems like such a
dangerous performance.

You must have so
much trust in one another.

- Yes, a lot.

One time, I was
taking Diego, and...

To the floor.

But he was low.
Nothing happened.

- Oh, goodness.
Oh, Diego and Elena.

It was a beautiful performance.

Let's see if you
take home a trophy.

- Ah, Diego and
Elena, what a great act.

You know, Teller said,

"If they do a quick
change in the air,

"this will be the
greatest quick change act

I've ever seen."

And there you did a
quick change act in the air.

It was so good.

You know, there's so much
other great stuff in the acrobatics

that you might forget how
much really good and hard magic

there is in there.

The original... the
appearance of Elena,

all of that stuff
is really beautiful

and carefully choreographed
and wonderful magic.

You know, we first were
thinking of this show.

One of the things we considered

was when someone came on,

we would have to duplicate
the trick that they just did.

I just wanna tell you,
if we had to do that,

you won hands down.

'Cause we would
not have a chance.

Also, quick change acts
that are dealing with disrobing

often are not that sexy.

Not true for you.

You just do a wonderful
quick change act

with real magic in it,

really astonishing,

and really, really
sexy and wonderful.

Every moment of
that was just fabulous.

Just that last change in the air

is just so beautiful
and so magical.

And we could
not do one bit of it.

But boy, we're glad you did,

but we don't think
you fooled us,

but what a great act.

And thank you so much
for sharing that with us.

- So do Penn and Teller
know how you did your trick?

- Yes. I think they know.
- All right.

Well, save me tickets

to the opening of your
show here in Vegas, please.

- Please. Yes.

- Diego and Elena!

Don't look now.

More "Fool Us"
is coming right up.

Stay close.

- Welcome back.

We've already seen

the rare and elusive
fooler once tonight,

but I'm greedy and
looking for another.

Let's bring out
our next magician.

- My dad is a car dealer,

and my brother is a politician.

So I guess you could say
deception runs in my family.

I got hooked early as a kid.

And when I discovered
I could fool my parents,

well, I wanted to
keep doing that.

I'm from Tupelo, Mississippi,
home of Elvis Presley.

And it's a great place to live,

but not exactly a
hotbed for magic.

Sports is like a religion here.

So if you wanna be
popular, do sports.

Wanna be not so popular?

Do magic.

Let's just say I
grew up in the corner

over there practicing
my card tricks.

But there's one
thing that's great

about being a magician

in a land without
many magicians.

If you need a magician,
I'm one of the few.

I've got a reputation as
being the nice guy of magic.

And look at me going up
against the bad boys of magic.

Well, Penn, Teller,
sometimes nice wins out.

- From Tupelo, Mississippi,
here's Bentley Burns.

- Ever since I was a little kid,

I wanted to be a superhero.

Well, the closest I got
was being a magician.

After all, what makes a
superhero a superhero?

Magic powers.

Penn, before the
show, I asked you to sign

a $100 bill and
give it to Alyson.

Did you do that?
- Yes, I did.

- Alyson, please bring
me Penn's signed bill.

Now, before you hand it
to me, show the camera,

'cause I want everyone to know

that there's no funny
business going on

and that my
superpowers are genuine.

Now, every superhero
has to have a super villain,

so I'd like you all to
meet... The Shredder.

Aww.

- To prove to
you that he's real,

he has shredded abs.

Of course, every great superhero

must also have
a trusty sidekick.

So, Alyson, would you
please be my sidekick?

- Sure.

- Obviously, you need a costume.

Oh, perfect.

- Now, in addition to Penn's
one of a kind signed bill,

I also have three fake bills.

And to prove they're
100% real fakes,

they have the word
fake written on them.

Alyson, what I'd like you to do

is to take these fake bills

and put 'em in the
envelopes and seal them up.

- Okay, I'm gonna have to
do that without my costume.

- That's fine. That's...

- Thank you.

- And I will do the same
thing to Penn's bill here.

So we'll have three
bills that are fake

and one bill signed by Penn.

- All right, two.

- Now, Alyson, what I'd
like you to do is take those

and mix 'em up behind your back

so that neither of us know

which envelope has Penn's bill.

- Behind my back.
- Yes.

- Easier said than done.

- Why am I doing all
this? You may ask.

Well, that's because
I'm not really a superhero

unless I save someone,
or in this case, something.

Penn's $100 bill.

- Okay.
- All right.

Alyson, do you see any special
markings on the envelopes?

- No.
- Do they feel

and look identical
to the naked eye?

- Yeah.

- Well, that's because they are.

Ordinary vision can't
pick out the real bill

from the fake ones.

To do that, you need only
what I have, X-ray vision.

And to make this
truly convincing,

I'm gonna put on my
own superhero costume.

Now, my X-ray vision can
see through the envelopes,

but to make this
even more amazing,

I'll see through this
blindfold as well.

Alyson, what I'd like you to
do is pick up two envelopes,

one in each hand,
any two you want.

Let me know when
you've done that.

- Okay. I've done it.

- All right.

Give me the one
in your left hand.

And our Shredder does his worst.

Alyson, what I'd like you to do

is put one envelope
in each hand again.

- Okay.

- My Bentley vision says
the one in your right hand.

And another bites the dust.

Now, with only two
envelopes remaining,

it's time to use another
one of my superpowers.

Mind control.

Give me the last two envelopes.

One in each hand.
Look me in the eyes.

I've now taken over
your consciousness.

Oh, dear.

- You will pick one envelope.

The one I'm
controlling you to pick,

and it will go into the
belly of the shredder.

Which envelope?

- That one.
- That one? All right.

And away it goes.

Now, if our mind meld worked,

then Penn's bill is
inside this envelope,

we have saved the day,

and the Earth will continue
its path around the sun!

Take the bill, show it to Penn.

Penn, is that your signature?

- Yes.

- Well, then I'm Bentley Burns,

and my work here is done.

- Bentley Burns!

Well, that was fun.

- Thank you.
- You're like a little kid.

- I am always a little
kid, at heart, at heart.

- Yeah. So what
kind of kid were you?

- I was kind of a class
clown. Always had fun,

messing around,
doing impressions.

Always performing.
I was a theater kid.

- Did you get in
trouble at school?

- If my mom's watching?

No, but in reality sometimes,
you know, a little bit.

- Your teachers are like, "Yes."

- Yes. I remember,
like I said, as a kid,

I would kind of prank people
with my magic at school

and that's where I kind
of got in trouble a little bit.

- All right, Bentley, let's see

if you can take home
a trophy to Tupelo.

- I would love to.

- Nice robot. Nicely
shredded, the eyes.

It's very, very good.
- Thank you.

- I like using a robot in this.

That's a really good thing.
I like the superhero theme.

- Thank you.
- Like your whole vibe.

- Oh, wow. Thank you.
- Very good. Very funny.

Very nice.

And, you know,
you also gave away

one of the biggest
secrets of all of magic,

which I hope
everybody's okay with,

and that is that magicians
do have superpowers.

- Oh, that's true. Yes.

- You have your X-ray
vision, your mind control,

but we have a superpower too.

You had one moment in there

that tipped off
our spidey sense.

- Uh-oh.

- Got that tingling and gave us

a pretty good idea
of how you did it,

but your version of kind
of a different bank night

or different also
Russian roulette,

also the same plot,

very nice way putting
the whole superhero thing.

And we liked it very much,
but we think we snuck in

a thing or two of the things

that you might have
gotten there that shows

that we have a pretty
good idea how you did it.

- I think my spidey
sense is tingling there,

too, that they know exactly.

So thank you for
having me, though.

- Nicely done, Bentley.
- Thank you.

- Thank you, Bentley Burns!

- Thank you.

- Don't go anywhere.

Penn and Teller
take the stage next,

and they've got something
really special to show you.

We'll be right back.

- Welcome back.

This next trick
currently is the finale

of Penn and Teller's
live Las Vegas show,

and tonight it's the
finale of our show.

Here are the legends themselves,

Penn and Teller!

- Everything that Teller
and I do in our shows

comes from a love that we share

of the American
sideshow, the freak show.

When I was a child,
for just 75 cents,

you could see ten different
freaks under one tent.

And I loved them all,

but I especially loved
the self-made freaks.

The fire eater, the
sword swallower.

And my friends would
go with me to the show.

My friends were different.

They did the whole show with
some sort of weird challenge

and all through this
fire eater's perfect act,

my friends would be talking,

and they'd be saying stuff like,

"Oh, I know how
he does that, Penn.

He just coats his
mouth with something."

They'd try to convince
me there was some sort

of something you could
smear in your mouth

and go suck on a soldering iron

and it wasn't gonna hurt you.

And it's not just children.

It's also adults. And
it's usually a man.

And it's most often a
man with some woman

he's trying desperately

and often
pathetically to impress.

And one of these guys who
thinks it's part of being cool

to pretend to know
everything, so he'll be going like,

"Oh, don't worry
about him, honey.

He's just using cold fire."

Well, all these
years have passed,

and I turned out
to be a fire eater.

And the ironic thing I found out

is there's no
trick, not to this.

To everything else
we do, there's a trick.

It's lie, cheat,
swindle, rip off.

That is what we do.

But not fire eating.
Fire eating's a stunt.

And there's no such
thing as cold fire.

If you still believe
there is such a thing,

you think I might be
using it, wait till I get it lit.

I'll stick it in your eye.

Get empirical real fast.

Teller's coming out
here with a fireproof

camping fuel container,
and it is lighter fluid

that he's dipping
the torches in.

The torches are cotton rope
wrapped around a metal rod

screwed into a wooden handle.

It's not the cotton that burns.

It's the fuel that burns.

And the way fire
eating works is this.

You get a lot of moisture
throughout your mouth

and all that moisture
has got to evaporate

from any given
part of your mouth

before that part will burn.

So you learn how to
handle the burning vapors.

Then you gotta try
to make it look good.

Now, if you get a lot
of saliva in your mouth,

and that's at least where
I try to keep most of mine,

you can rub your
lips right on the cotton

and pull that vapor off.

The vapor's still burning,

but if you breathe
in just a little bit,

the audience can't see it.

So you get a
beautiful surprise there.

Then you just wait
till the time is right

and then just let it flow
like it was magic smoke.

If you wanna put the fire
out, there's a move for that too.

And it's the move that
gives it the name fire eating.

Now, you're not
actually eating the flame,

but I guess they figure
that oral fire extinguishing

didn't sound that butch.

When you feel your
mouth drying out,

you close your lips tightly.

That cuts out most of the
oxygen and fire goes out.

Now, when I was
being taught this,

I got burned
every time I tried it,

and I still get
burned occasionally.

But the burns you
get from fire eating

are for the most
part extremely minor.

They're the kind of
burns you get, you know,

when you eat a pizza too fast,

the cheese will snag, or
you gulp some hot coffee.

And I'm not talking
mind over matter jive.

There's no such thing.

It just hurts like holy hell,

but it's not dangerous.

The dangerous things

that laypeople hardly
ever think about.

And that is every
time you do this act,

no matter how
carefully or how well,

you swallow about a
teaspoon of the lighter fluid.

And that stuff is poisonous.

That's why they go
to the extra trouble

to write "harmful
or fatal if swallowed"

right there on the can.

And the effect is to a
certain degree cumulative.

Now, I say a certain degree.
I do four shows a week.

I'm a big guy, that
doesn't affect me,

but carnival workers
in real showbiz,

they'll do up to 30 shows a day.

In as little as two
or three years,

that stuff will build
up in their liver

and they'll get sick enough

they have to take time off

and do another line
of work in the carnival,

while that liver regenerates,
which thankfully it will do.

Now, we take all this time

to explain all of this
to you in such detail,

because we think
it's more fascinating

to think of someone
poisoning themselves to death

slowly on stage than
merely burning themselves.

And after all, we're
here to entertain you.

We really tell you this
'cause we're doing this stuff.

We don't want you to be
thinking about how we did it.

We want you to be
thinking about why.

So sit back, relax.

I'm gonna burn myself.

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

Not yet, creeps.

That was just the
roof of my mouth.

I'd still like to
burn my tongue.

And I wanna tell you, if
that last thing took you

by surprise and
up-tightened you a little bit,

this next thing will probably
make you puke your guts out.

Okay.

- Ugh.

Give it up for Penn and Teller

and all of tonight's performers.

We'll see you next time.

Goodnight from Las Vegas.