Our Cartoon President (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Impeachment - full transcript

This is an NBC News special report.

I'm Lester Holt,

and your aunt is now Googling
"Lester Holt shirtless".

This week saw the historic start

of President Trump's impeachment trial,

the only trial where the defendant

and most of the jury are best friends.

Here are the highlights.

Everyone remember where you're sitting.

Same seats in two years when
we have to do this again.

No phones, no talking,
only drink water and milk.



I didn't know there'd be milk here.

Ah, it's been 40 years.
What's one glass of milk?

And if the President is innocent,

it follows his legal
team, is innocent, too.

Too true.

And I might I add

that you all got nothing
on this president.

Me? I got a lot.

I got so much my computer won't shut up

about how it's out of memory.

I just can't wait to tell Iowa

that their favorite Harvard professor

got endorsed by the New York Times.

Oh, I got that endorsement too.



And if you tell one farmer,

I will fucking kill you!

Should we be worried that Joe Biden

has got Iowa all to himself?

Hey! Is Iowa the one

where all the serial killers come from?

Ah, we'll be fine.

Hi, Bernie.

I just drove four hours from Chappaqua

to tell you to eat shit.

You got to talk to someone!

- It's not healthy.
- That's not me.

A lot of people look like me.

I have a generic look.

Everyone's always
coming up to me asking,

"are you Rick?" I don't know Rick.

This vote is a lot pressure.

That might take off the edge.

Mmm. That is good milk.

Ooh, I remember this feeling.

This is going great.

The team that best follows
the rules always wins.

I'm done.

Nah, I want some more.

Welcome to the impeachment
club, little buddy.

Isn't it crazy they always impeach you

for the least bad thing you did?

They just can't believe
I have this black mark

on my sterling record

of making every day
feel like September 12th.

The presidents in the gallery,
please lower their voices.

Sorry! I got this thing

where I can't hear dorks!

- I'm not a dork.
- Says every dork!

- Ha!
- Don't laugh.

I'm trying to fix this thing for you.

I know. I know.

Why do we even need to be here?

This thing's not even over yet,

and look what McConnell's wearing!

I'm the milk man. Mitt is the milk man.

The facts are uncontested,

and, yet, still I feel like I'm losing.

Oh, no. Mouse in the chamber.

Everybody forget this vote and run.

Senator Collins, just go be a lobbyist.

Hey, everyone. It's John Bolton.

The guy who knows everything.

I'll start talking,

and you tell me when you've
got enough to convict.

Okay, so Trump's on
the phone with Ukraine.

- John, what are you doing?!
- It's called selling books.

You want in?

Eh, I wouldn't mind selling
out my boss for a few bucks.

Rudy, what the hell?!

What? I can't have a creative outlet?

There's something I want to say

about Barack Hussein Obama.

Not that.

Enough. Everyone please remember
this is the United States Senate.

We must not degrade
the sacred institution

once home to Strom Thurmond.

Let us comport ourselves
with dignity, prudence.

And, Senator Collins,
what are you doing?

Oops. I spilled my gasoline.

Better wipe it up with some
Strike Anywhere matches.

You work and you work,

and this happens, and it's all worth it.

I'd like to solve the puzzle.

"Our Cartoon President".

- Kids, we own this town.
- _

The economy is assing on all cylinders.

I'm currently DMing

with several prominent dictators.

And I finally finished
peeling that orange

I found last week.

Sure, we've had scandals,

but they were far too complex

for the American people to understand.

Yeah. Can you imagine
if we had a scandal

you could describe in one sentence?

Did you extort Ukraine

into investigating
your political opponent?

Your question is unclear.

You should probably split it up

into two or more complex sentences.

- Mr. President!
- Mr. President!

The House is impeaching me

without first asking me if it's okay?!

We're so sorry.

I tried to explain that bipartisanship

was more important than the rule of law,

but the House wouldn't listen.

What about the infrastructure bill

we were definitely going to do?

You don't think we
thought about the bill?

Of course we thought about the bill!

Adam Schiff is running
this investigation

like he has shark blood in his veins.

I believe in two things:

the rule of law

and the greatest threat
to our nation is charisma.

Sounds like the Senate
is gonna have a trial.

- Uh-oh!
- Impossible.

It was a perfect,
beautiful call with Ukraine

that had legs for days!

I'd be dating that call

if I wasn't already happily
married to what's-her-name.

This is going to be a great year.

Ever since the impeachment
inquiry began,

I've been a prisoner.

They tell me when to wake up,

when to call into Fox and Friends,

when to devour my dry-aged Kobe slop.

The Democrats are
controlling the narrative.

You need to fight back
and tell your story.

We can slam this thing
on the I.T. guy's head

until he gives us a computer.

No one cares about my story, Don.

I'm a forgotten man.

Back to our ongoing coverage
of Donald Trump's posture.

Let's go to our posture panel.

Just because you've given up on you

doesn't mean I'm also gonna give
up on yourself, as well, too.

This isn't a fairy tale, Don.

For once, the handsome prince
with a well-defined bulge

doesn't live happily ever after.

Alright, I'm gonna go slam this

on the I.T. guy's head anyway.

You, with the USB drive, get over here!

President Trump is a lawless criminal!

I promise I'll run the government

the exact opposite:

like a rule-obsessed German nanny.

And how am I going to do it? With plans.

Long, dense, sumptuously wordy plans

that no American can make sense of.

I'm the boss, applesauce!

This is doing it for us somehow!

God, I'm so jazzed!

They were eating nutritious snacks

out of the palm of my
thoroughly washed hand!

You do know that you're running
for President of America,

not Captain of debate or chess
for whatever smart you-knows.

I need to lie down.

Your message is too complicated.

I've made mine very simple:

I was born in 1982, I'm gay,

and I helped destabilize Afghanistan.

Well, I think voters
want more than that.

Hey, folks, I'm Joe Biden.

- Do you want more than that?
- No!

So after the Senate convicts me,

I might just wander
the Earth like a pariah,

moving from barn to barn

until some kid spots me
and the town chases me out.

No!

Sir, if you go down,
then we all go down,

and I don't want to share a prison cell

with Rudy Giuliani. I don't blame ya.

If you think I'm bad to my wives,

you should see what I do to a toilet.

I've been blacklisted by
every plumber in New York.

I can only get rookies from Connecticut

with something to prove.

Way to make this about you guys.

Anything else I can do
besides keep you out of prison?

Get you some ice?

Sir? Yes, Secretary of Cheese?

I don't want to go prison.

I'm sporty and I'll
miss the great outdoors.

Aww, that's too bad

because you got "Fall
Guy" written all over you.

I wanted to be the fall guy!

My incriminating fluids

are in their usual spot in the fridge.

Come on, Mr. President.

Fight these airtight
charges, pleeeeeeasssee.

Pleeeeeeeease!

Alright, I'll think about it.

If only not to think about
Pompeo in hiking shorts.

It's a glorious sight.

Bill, Epstein's been
gone for five months.

Get ahold of yourself.

You've traded your
jet for wings, brother.

But her e-mails?

Hillary, me again.

Do you think I've been
sounding too smart?

I'm afraid so.

If there's one lesson
we learned in 2016,

it's that I'm perfect

and voters are complete morons.

Maybe they just need
someone who'll speak to them

like the detail-oriented,
intellectually rigorous people

that they are.

Yeah, and Bill is coping well.

If that's Jeffy,

tell him I never stopped believing!

Think about it, Mr. President.

If you cleared your name,

you'd have the freedom to
go anywhere, to do anything.

I've been here so long,

I've forgotten how to
imagine a better life.

You know, one where Eric's not around.

Can I have money for a jawbreaker?

Just try, Mr. President.

If I could do anything?

♪ If he could do annyyyyyything ♪

Welcome back to Lou Dobbs Tonight.

We're talking government overreach

with Newt Gingrich.

Wow, Newt did Dobbs and Ingraham?

Must be between bookers or something.

Kellyanne, if I try to
beat this impeachment,

will you stick with
me to the bitter end,

no matter the cost?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Kellyanne? Hello?

Are you okay?

- Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
- Kellyanne?

Okay, alright, well, I'm just gonna go.

Uhhhhhhhhh...

Hillary's wrong.

I know Iowa voters interrogate the facts

and their unconscious biases

before voting on their
20-minute lunch break.

May I have everyone's attention?!

You know what chaps my hide?

The Dodd-Frank Act provided
an oversight mandate

for the Consumer Financial
Protection Bureau...

Shut up, lady! We're
trying not to think or feel!

It's just we can end
corruption in Washington

if we just...

- Booooo!
- Quit tryna make us think and feel!

I told her to shut up.

Hillary, you were right.

How do I connect with...
what does the media call them?

"Everyday" Americans?

I know just the vacuous
dolts who can try to help.

Just promise me that, if you win,

you'll name me President.

Bar's driving through a tunnel.

Gotta go.

Liz says hi.

Oh, Jeffy, if you're here,

give me and Alan Dershowitz a sign.

I-I-I-I-I think I felt a breeze.

Jeffrey, can you come back as a ghost

and tell everyone I didn't
take my underpants off?

Mr. President, a word?

What is it, Mike?

See another cloud that
looks like a nipple

- and need some time off?
- Yes,

but also, Kellyanne
said you're considering

trying to beat this impeachment thing.

I am. I'm just not sure

I have what it takes to pull this off.

Hey, you can do this, Mr. President.

You have to.

Thanks, Mike. You can go now.

No, I don't think you understand.

You have to do this

because I cannot become President.

What? Why?

Because I would be the worst president

in the history of ever anywhere.

First of all, not even a decade ago,

I was a radio host, and a bad one.

Also, I'm dumb.

Up until yesterday,

I had no idea omelets were made of eggs.

I thought it was yellow pancakes.

- Mike, listen...
- No!

- You listen to me, butthole.
- Whoa!

I don't know how anything works.

I don't know where anything is.

I just say it's God
because I am clueless!

Mike, calm down.

Hey! You have to!

You have to do this!

Okay, okay, I'll clear my name!

You're doing the right thing.

I know. Just leave. You're
scaring the shit out of me.

Okay. Door open or closed?

- Whatever you want.
- Don't make me think!

I'm bad at it. Were you not listening?!

Closed.

What the fuck?

Since the whole war with Iran thing

didn't really pop off,

the only way to beat
this impeachment thing

is in the press.

We've met every communications expert

on the Eastern seaboard.

And they're either too fat, too ugly,

or too unwilling to die for me.

- What do we do?
- There's one more.

But I have to warn you, he's ugly.

Sean, are you ready?

You can do this.

I'm sick of the justice system

letting wrongly accused
presidents like you

fall through the cracks.

I want to clear your name.

Do you have a communications degree?

- Nope.
- Did you graduate high school?

- Nope.
- Play any team sports?

- Nope.
- Can you drive a car?

- Nope.
- Can you look at a car?

- Nope.
- Would you be comfortable

taking a breathalyzer right now?

- Nope.
- Do you have a fixed address?

- Nope.
- Ever nodded at someone

without your hat falling off?

- Nope.
- Can you hold your head

underwater for two
seconds without drowning?

- Nope. Nope.
- Can you...

So as far as I can tell,

God took every chunk of
useless flesh and feces

and packed it into your one squat frame.

What makes you qualified
to clear my name?

Because I believe you.

Let's get to work.

Is there anyone else? No?

Okay, let's get to work.

Your impeachment trial is in one week.

Facts won't matter.

What matters is that we
tell a beautiful story

about a man wrongly accused.

We need to get you out
there in every medium... TV.

There must be more.

- Books?
- Books, sure!

Start typing.

Shouldn't be a problem.

Don Junior has a typewriter

covered in human blood and hair,

but I can hose it down.

Hillary Clinton said

if I could get you
three to understand me,

then I could get through to anyone.

Sorry the directions didn't specify

how to operate a door.

I can't get the taste of
the knob out of my mouth.

Thank goodness Chris
Cuomo beat down the door.

My governor dad taught me that

before setting me up real nice at CNN

- where I read words.
- I'm Joe Kennedy.

My Dad was either Ted, Bobby,
or John F. Kennedy, maybe.

Let's start with my stump speech.

Right now, I begin by
touting my key policies:

modernizing regulations
on influence peddling...

Here's an idea: how about every speech

- comes with a small toy?
- Like a cereal box!

Let's get after it.

If I dump a bunch of
chicken into a cereal box,

is that now a cereal?

Uh-oh, tough question made
my brain spring a leak!

What's the rhyme again?

Out the nose, green is fine,

but when it's red, me will soon die.

Hey, can I put that red stuff on my face

so I look like Braveheart?

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

His name is Donald Trump

and, in 2019, he was
earning a steady living

as the President of the United States,

until he found himself on
the wrong side of the law.

Tonight, for the first time,
we hear his side of the story.

I'm just trying to survive every day.

When was the last time
you saw your family?

Unfortunately, earlier today.

Oh, God.

His days are spent
in near total isolation,

disconnected from reality.

I sleep there.

I go to the bathroom over there.

Do you get out much?

Once a day, I'll be allowed out

for a rally with thousands
of screaming racists.

This man's freedom

is being held hostage by Adam Schiff,

a California Congressman

who wields his own
brand of ruthless justice.

I will not rest until this
man is brought to justice.

Excuse me.

What do you say to other
presidents facing impeachment?

They can impeach your body,

but they can never impeach your mind.

Donald Trump tells his side of the story

in My Struggle: A Story of Hope,

available tomorrow
anywhere books are sold

except for Germany.

So is it cereal?

Nah, it's milky chicken.

Bummer! I'm one of the Kennedys.

Elizabeth, what's wrong?

I just don't know how to
appeal to people like you.

What do you mean people like us?

Guys who sleep with a couple hundred
little tiny curlers in their hair?

Is there any plan you can get behind?

Ugh, plan this, plan
that. Plan that, plan this.

Seriously, cut me off. I can't stop.

- Plan this, plan that.
- I wish I had plans,

but my campaign manager
just keeps telling me

to say my last name and
shut my handsome face.

I didn't vote for Trump for his plans.

He said America was bad
and he'd make it great.

That was a story I
wanted to be a part of.

So you don't think about which candidate

has the policies that most
align with your values?

You just vote for who
tells the best story?

- Uh-huh.
- The best stories have trucks that talk.

Bookstore. Yeah?

Hi, do you carry My
Struggle: A Story of Hope

by Donald Trump?

You'll have to speak up!
It's bedlam here!

Do you have My Struggle:
A Story of Hope?

- Naw, man. Naw.
- Oh, okay.

You don't carry it?

Naw, man, it's sold out.

I gotta go. You take care, okay?

Keep readin', brother.

♪ A phone call rang out ♪

♪ And the President answered ♪

♪ It was Zelensky talking Javelins ♪

♪ And someone wrote down a transcript ♪

♪ Of the President asking
for an illegal favor ♪

♪ And now Nancy Pelosi's calling
that impeachable behavior ♪

♪ Whoa, Why does Trump have to go? ♪

♪ Just because he committed the crimes ♪

♪ And admitted the crimes ♪

- ♪ Doesn't mean he should go ♪
- ♪ Doesn't mean he should go ♪

Hold on, Brian. That's
a rental, take it easy.

Brian, I think you're going a
little too hard on that thing.

♪ Why does Trump have to go? ♪

That was a big deposit, Brian.

Please take it easy.

♪ Why does Trump have to go? ♪

Lighter, Brian, lighter.

Little more of a touch.

Fine, this is on you.

I'm gonna blame you, Brian.

Facts don't stand a chance against us.

I want you to have this.

"Dear Sean, Put this book on your hat

so that, when you nod,
your hat doesn't fall off.

Sincerely, the 45th President
of the United States".

Wow, you saved me a lot
of money on a chin strap.

Doctor said I'm a goner

if I swallow one more gold chain,

but I think he's just
trying to scare me.

Oh, Lizzy's on!

When I was a little girl,

America was good,

but then the bad man came
along and made it bad,

and I want to make it good again

with the help of my talking truck.

His name is Beep Beep...

... and, like me, he loves America.

- I sure do!
- Thanks, Beep Beep.

Elect me, bad man goes bye-bye,

and every American gets a small toy.

I'm Elizabeth Warren,
and I approve good.

- Heck yeah.
- Elizabeth, wow!

Beep Beep endorsed
before the convention.

Unthinkable!

♪ If he could do anything ♪

Thanks for joining us, Newt.

Now let's turn to Donald
Trump's impeachment spat

with the Democrats.

Donald, wake up.

Do you hear me, Donald?

Donald! Wake up!

Whoa! How the F did you get in here?

We made an appointment

and arrived at the designated time.

You sneaky rat bastards.

You've woven quite the fairy tale,

but tomorrow is your impeachment trial,

and it won't be about
whose story is better.

It will be about the facts.

Evidence you pressured
Ukraine to spy on Biden

somehow includes blood and semen.

I thought I told Pompeo
to scrub that country down.

We're so sorry, Donald.

And the biggest tragedy?

The trial fell right in the middle

of infrastructure week.

We're on in 10.

Wow, I'm up among men
pinned under dirt bikes

and women who put little wooden signs

that say "kitchen" in their kitchens.

I just have to hold my own
against the chessmaster.

Okay, everyone, please
don't leave your mess here.

This is where I do the show...

Oh, it's my script. Sorry, everyone.

Senator Elizabeth Warren,
thanks for joining us.

Thanks, Chuck.

And I'd just like to say: Warren good.

Wow, nice message discipline.

Turning to domestic
issues, the Dodd-Frank Act

provided an oversight mandate

for the Consumer Financial
Protection Bureau.

Ooh, yummy topic. Mama likey.

Please explain to me

how you get a full-time chairperson

confirmed in the Senate.

Uh, um, it's a complicated issue.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

that's not what you said before.

You're off message.
I got you in a gaffe.

Let's get the graphic up.

Hmm, maybe I should be the President

and she should be the
guy who got yelled at

by one of his interns yesterday.

C-Span will no longer air

the 92nd Street Y conversation

between David Brooks,
David Frum, David Axelrod,

David Plotz, and David Plouffe,

moderated by David Remnick.

Instead, we go live to
the floor of the Senate

for the impeachment
trial of the President.

Hey, if Mike Pence comes by,

just project confidence.

He's been acting like a complete luna...

Hey, Mike!

What a great day for justice!

I'm so excited to see you prevail.

- Thanks, Mike.
- Yeah.

So you feel like it's gonna work out?

Like, you're gonna be
president for awhile?

Uh, yeah.

- Sean?
- Yeah, for sure.

So I don't need to study
up in the next few hours,

like learn who won World War II?

Figure out how to open a desk drawer?

I think you're good.

Oh, hey, I think Karen
was looking for you.

Yeah, you should go find her.

Cool, cool, cool. Door open or closed?

- There's no door, Mike.
- Cool.

See you guys later.

Karen!

Hey, Lizzy Whatever,
we saw "Meet the Press".

You were good. Warren good.

Warren didn't feel good.

Warren felt like an idiot.

When someone calls me an
idiot, I just go to sleep.

Problem solved.

How do I even show my face
at the impeachment trial?

I got embarrassed by Chuck Todd.

I know this isn't the best time,

but can you give this to Beep Beep?

The sergeant-at-arms will
make the proclamation.

Hear ye! Hear ye!

All persons are commanded to keep silent

on pain of imprison...

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the impeachment trial

of the President of the United States.

And now here's your defendant:

Donald J. Trump!

Thank God that worked.

In rehearsal, the whale
carcass stuffed with dumbbells

ripped the harness ropes in half.

You know, you weren't
required to attend.

Yeah, I don't know if you noticed,

but we're doing things a
little differently this term.

Speaking for the prosecution,
Congressman Schiff?

Oh, fuck. Oh, Lord.

According to transcripts

released by your own administration...

eight phone calls...

inappropriately moved to a
highly classified server...

blood and semen...

which according to
95% of legal scholars,

fits the very definition of treason.

So we're just going to overlook

how fabulous the White House
was decorated for Christmas?

It's a witch hunt, got it.

I'm thinking after this,
we do some potato skins,

maybe Skee-Ball.

Donald, I haven't
seen that much evidence

since they raided Ailes's office.

Hey, so just to be safe,

World War II was the
one in Vietnam, right?

Today's impeachment proceedings

were such a disaster for the President

that even I can see
where this is heading.

My loyalty is now for
sale to the highest bidder.

Phone lines are open. No
opinion is too depraved.

So for the resignation ceremony,

I'm thinking sobbing
masses here and here.

No, Mr. President, don't do it.

That reminds me:

let's have a guy wrapped
in tin foil show up,

say he's from the future,

and say my resignation
leads to the end of mankind.

Uh-huh. And what are you
thinking for the kids?

They can just catch a cab home.

Mr. President, you're not resigning.

You're going to be acquitted
by the Senate tomorrow.

Hello, Democrats have
what many describe as

a "satanic orgy of evidence".

And the Republicans have
a satanic orgy of votes,

so we win.

So if I'm reading this correctly,

you don't care what I did?

I have not been following
this case in the slightest.

I've just been calling Republicans

in the middle of the night
and breathing into the phone.

They get it.

Are you okay, Elizabeth?

You haven't touched
your chicken-y cereal.

I thought we agreed
it was milky chicken.

- Some friend you are!
- I'm sorry.

I just know now

that Americans electing
a smart, female president

is a fairy tale.

Don't knock fairy tales.

Fairy tales give us hope.

And they teach us how poor people

need magic and talking mice to succeed.

Or they're the basis for
an entire political dynasty.

They do give us hope, don't they?

People sort of need them.

Hey, can you guys give me
a ride back to Washington?

We'll do it for one million dollars.

- And a toy!
- No.

Fine, but a heads up:
none of us drive good.

I rented the crane for seven days

but the suit for one.

Real hot dogs and buns situation here.

The defense will now make their case.

Whoo! Go defense!

That's who I'm secretly rooting for!

Not a secret anymore now, is it?

Who do you think you are, my dad?

What do I, walk in on you
all the time shaving your ass?

And then you tell me
to go get the vacuum?

Is that what you think you are?

Well, you aren't!

Hey, has anyone seen my flask?

It looks like an old
bottle of sunscreen.

Actually it is an old
bottle of sunscreen.

Lifetime appointment, folks.

Would the attorney for Mr. Trump

deliver their opening statement?

Attorney General Barr is in Indiana

digging up dirt on Pete Buttigieg...

Spoiler: he might be gay...

while Giuliani is testing pick up lines

at the 9/11 Memorial.

So I'll be representing myself.

Folks, I've been so concerned
with weaving a fairy tale

about how I'm the least
criminal president in history

that I forgot the facts.

Specifically, Republicans
have a Senate majority

so I can get away with whatever I want.

- The end.
- That's my guy!

Greetings, people of 2020.

I'm from the future.

Do not remove Trump from
office for mankind's...

Mike, I'm not resigning.

Someone should've told you.

Aw, crap!

Kennedy, your family's
experts on this sort of thing.

Get to work. I'm okay.

If anyone finds any bones,

just slip them into the
pocket of my hiking shorts.

Thank God. Alright, everyone, shut up!

This is Cuomo Prime Time,

my first guest is Elizabeth Warren.

The fact of the matter is

that the Senate Republicans
have the majority.

And if there's one thing I've learned,

it's that facts can be a real bummer.

If you want to win over
the American people,

you've got to give them hope.

You got to tell them a
story they can believe in.

And, sure, maybe it's a fairy tale,

but it gives us something to aspire to.

And that's why I want to be

the first Native American
President in history.

Bill, I got a lane to run for president!

Would you mind leaving
the country for a year?

No problem.

Dershowitz and I just got a hot tip

on a man who looks
like Jeffy down in Peru.

If anyone asks, we flew the whole way

with our underpants on. Bye.

Each Senator, when his
or her name is called,

will stand in his or her place
and vote guilty or not guilty.

Guilty. Native American?!

Come on, Liz, we've been through this.

Despite every word out
of my mouth before 2016,

the President is an angel on Earth.

Not guilty.

Ted Cruuuuz!

Allow me to consult the Lord.

Not guilty!

Senator Collins?

Senator?

A little clearer.

- Senator.
- I'm a little girl.

I can't vote. Tra-la-la-lee-loo!

President Trump is a
symptom of a larger problem

with the system

that I will now describe in detail.

We don't have time for this.

We'll just mark down "guilty".

Yeah, okay, sure.

In the name of preserving
the infrastructure bill,

not guilty.

The President is a
disgrace to the office,

a blight on our nation's history,

and an existential threat
to democracy itself.

Not guilty.

According to the tally,

on these articles of impeachment,

the President is not guilty as charged.

- Way to go, dad!
- Way to win!

Oh, thank God. I'm so happy!

Hey, what'd I miss?

Anyway, I want you guys to meet Brenda.

Come here, Brenda. We just did it

in the North Tower reflecting pool.

We did it, Mr. President.

Check it out.

My hat's staying on
and I'm nodding my head!

Did you hear that?

They're celebrating my
acquittal in the streets!

I don't get it. The Democrats are happy?

We did it!

We kind of held the
president accountable!

But most importantly,

we showed that this story isn't over!

What is she talking about?

Oh, yeah, the election.

Trump!