Orphan Black (2013–2017): Season 3, Episode 7 - Community of Dreadful Fear and Hate - full transcript

It's election time again,

So can I count on your support
for school trustee?

I've been thinking
of running against you.

Really?

We can't afford a campaign.

We would like to buy
your business.

There's only one way
to launder money.

You guys need a front.

With bubbles,
the sky would be the limit.

Perfect.

Who's Sarah?



How do you know that name?

I know that name
because you were dreaming,

And you said it.

Cosima, the book.

I think rachel knows the code.

I want you to tell me
what you know about Castor.

R... R... Rumours.

No, no, no.

Sarah: Yes, there was
a deal made for you,

But I didn't make it.

Mrs s did.

I'm not leaving without you.

It was never Beth I loved.

- Run!
- (explosion)



You came back.

Helena: Come, sestra.

(spanish music playing)

(men conversing in spanish)

Helena: Eat my shit!

(laughing ecstatically)

(man cursing in spanish)

- Look what I found, sestra.
- (Coins clattering)

Now we eat and drink.

(Helena speaking spanish)

How do you say "food"?

Food.

Paul...

Paul was a good man in the end.

I don't wanna talk about it.

Where is benjamin?
He's never late.

This benjamin belongs to s.

No, no.

Look, he's one
of our friends, okay?

And s's people are the ones

Who are bringing papers,
so you be thankful.

I will kill s for betraying me.

You are pregnant, mi amiga.

You tell her that I have baby?

(car door closes)

Hello, Helena.

Helena!

(theme music playing)

Mrs s: It was me.

I made the decision
to give you up,

So I could get
Kira and Sarah out of DYAD.

Helena: You sold me.
I will kill you.

We have to talk
this out, Helena,

It's the only way.

The only way out for you is...

(mimics gagging)

Woman: Ah! Not in my cantina.

First I eat,

Then we fight.

(sighs)

They are best left alone.

What do you know about it?

I know women.

Your sister is very wounded.

In my room there is a shower.

Go wash off where you have been.

Where you are going
will be better.

Thank you.

Alison: "adjusting
the district boundaries"

"to exclude bailey downs"

"is not
the family-first option."

"As school trustee candidate
and a mother of two,"

"I am..."

I am...

I am missing a card.

Missing a card.

110 over 90.
That's really good.

Which is a miracle,
given the state you're in.

Uh, wait, wait, wait.

I'm never going
to get this straight.

Here, open up.

- Oh, Donnie, do we...
- (thermometer beeps)

...Have to do this

Self-monitoring thing
right now?

Let's just keep DYAD
on our side, okay?

Okay. We need to get these
signatures in by 2:00 p.M.

Candidates' mixer
starts at 3:00.

We need to go to bubbles

And get my mother
to sign over the store.

And you and jage need to go to
mr pozinho with the money.

- Not "jage". Jason.
- (thermometer beeps)

Temp's good.
How's your menstrual flow?

Donnie.

You and Jason need to take
the money to mr pozinho's.

Yes, 30k. I'm on it.

I do the deal for the pills,

We close bubbles
with your mother,

And then we finally have
a legitimate front.

- Hendrix's, next level. Right?
- God willing.

Hey, come on.
Don't leave me hanging, baby.

- Next level.
- Does my hair look terrible?

My mother is going to notice
if I didn't get it trimmed.

(inhales sharply)

And, my menstrual flow
is normal.

Oh. Thank you.

Alison: I hope
she's in a good mood.

You know how she can get.

Donnie: Just don't let her
get under your skin, honey.

Hello!

- Customers.
- Donnie: Best ones ever.

We'll take the whole darn place.

(gasps) just a smidge late.

- Hi, connie.
- Donnie.

- You came too.
- Mmm-hmm.

- Hmm.
- Yikes!

- Oh, I'm having it
trimmed this week. -Ah.

Donnie: This is
quite a display, connie.

Oh, that's my new male line,
minty gleam.

Yeah. Yeah, we know.

We're gonna musk up
the recipe a little bit.

You know,
for the young customers.

The body spray set.

Maybe, or, um, maybe not.

We'll discuss it
with you, of course.

This is the paperwork.

Are you sure you can handle
the down payment?

I mean, mr chubbs here
just lost his job.

Yeah... Oh, yes.

We're a bit tight,
but, yeah, we're fine.

I just wouldn't want
my grandchildren

Feeling the pinch.

No, no, no. No pinching,
not on my watch.

Alison: Retiring
to florida, mom.

- Oh, the sunshine state.
- Mmm-hmm.

Well, lawyers make more mistakes

Than you and mr chubbs
put together.

I need to read this.

(inhales sharply)

Uh...

Okay, that's fine.

(clears throat) that's fine.

I will be at the candidates'
mixer all afternoon.

You're still going through
with that?

Alison: Yes.

You're voting for Marci Coates?

Well, I voted for her last year.

She just asked me to put it up.

Easy, babe. Big day.

- Okay?
- Okay.

We'll be back for that.

(Shay imitating engine revving)

I claim this belly...

- Mmm-hmm.
- ...In the name of Spain.

Cosima: Mmm.

You love your bug, don't you?

Oh, yeah.
And you love borrowing it.

Cosima: Mmm-hmm.

Everybody wins.

- (Cosima chuckles)
- (knock on door)

(Shay groans)

- Cosima: Why do you have to go?
- (sighs) why?

Cosima: No.

(chuckles)

Hi, I am looking for Cosima.

Delphine.

Hello, Shay.

Cosima, could you
come out here for a minute?

You know, whatever this is,

It's not cool.

You know what?
I don't really care.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

- I'll leave you two alone.
- Yeah.

Excuse me.
Are you stalking me now?

You know, I can find you
when it's important.

Cosima:
You should have called me.

Delphine:
You wouldn't have answered.

And then you wouldn't
have had a chance

To check her out.

(sighs)

Cosima: What do you want?

Delphine: I've been
testing the LEDA subjects

For the misfolded protein

That you share
with the Castor boys.

- Uh-huh.
- And your numbers...

Your numbers are worrying.

Let me and scott
worry about my numbers.

Scott is worried, and so am I.

We need another urinalysis.

Cosima: You want me
to pee in that now?

Are you serious?

Don't fight me.
You know this is important.

I'll see you at work.

Delphine: Good.
Cosima: Don't come here again.

(mobile phone ringing)

Hello.

Scott, I need you
to cover for me.

What do you mean
"cover for you"?

Old school

I'm-gonna-be-late-for-class
cover for me.

Cosima, we need that urinalysis.

- I'm getting it to you, okay?
- Okay.

Scott: What about the book?

Don't... Don't show
Delphine the book.

I mean, rachel and the book.

Right. Sorry.

Uh, rachel painted
those symbols.

Can she decode the book?

Scott: I don't know.

Maybe you can find that out
from her.

No, felix humiliated her.
Plus, she scares me.

Okay, fine.

Just cover for me
and I'll deal with it later.

Donnie: Honey,
where do you want this?

- What? Oh!
- Where do you want this?

Don't.
No, you always tip it...

- I didn't tip it.
- ...And then the cream sways

- And the nanaimo bars are...
- Okay, okay. Yeah.

- (tyres screeching)
- Alison: Jason's here.

- Do you have the money?
- Yeah.

Honey, I'm fine, okay?

St thomas high.

Been a while since we hung out
in this lot, huh, ali?

Uh, you hung out in the lot,
I was in the library.

Not all the time.

Okay, peeps, let's get moving.

Aight.

Did your mother
sign over bubbles?

Not yet. There's been
a bit of a hiccup.

We need that store front in
order to move all this product.

We'll have it to you
by tonight. Signed.

Good luck.

- You're going to be great.
- Okay.

I'll take care of him.

Thank you.

- Alison: Hi, Sarah.
- Hi, Alison.

- Big day.
- Did you get your signatures?

Ye... Yes.

All that campaigning would be
for naught if you didn't.

I'll put them on your station
as soon as I've settled, okay?

Sarah: Okay.

- Hello.
- Hi.

All right, schedule
for this ludicrous event.

Photo op,
candidates' mixer, speeches.

- Put on this t-shirt.
- Mmm-hmm.

- And, take that hat.
- Thank you.

Oops.

Thank you
for your help today, felix.

No, I kind of need a distraction

While Siobhan ferries Sarah
back from hotel Castor.

- (mobile phone chimes)
- that.

- Yeah, that.
- Oh!

- What? -(whispers)
Cosima needs my pee.

What do you mean "she needs
your pee"? What for?

I don't know. Science?

I don't know.

If she wants it,
she can come get it.

Oh!

Alison, your booth is wonderful.

It's like you're selling
bubble gum.

Alison: (chuckles nervously)
oh.

Felix dawkins, campaign manager.

That's an interesting choice.

May not work
for our conservative voters.

Oh, was that
an intolerant remark?

Your mother, for instance,
is very conservative,

And she is supporting me.

(both chuckle)

Felix: We're going
to dismantle that bitch.

Would you like some soap?
Vote for Alison.

(mobile phone ringing)

Alison Hendrix's phone.

Felix,
campaign manager, speaking.

Christ on a cross,
where is Alison?

Felix: To whom
am I speaking with?

Her mother!

Tell her my heart is exploding.

Oh, my god!

Okay. Yeah, hang on. Uh...

Hey, excuse us.

Your mother is having
a heart attack.

A real one?

I don't know. What? Why?

- Hello, mother.
- Hurry, Alison. I'm dying.

Mother, I'll be right there.

What do you mean,
"you'll be right there"?

- You're leaving? -Oh, she does
this all the time, felix.

- Alison.
- Trust me.

So, you take these
to Sarah Stubbs.

Forms and signatures, please.

Okay.
Can you hurry back, please?

Because the doors open
to constituents in an hour.

Work the room. Okay?

- (sighs)
- thank you!

Don't let this place fool you.

Mr pozinho is the only
supplier you'll ever need.

I mean, before the crackdown
on mail-order scripts,

He filled an entire warehouse
with indian pharmaceuticals.

And he knows who I am, right?
Everything is copacetic?

Donnie, when we're in there,

Don't use words
like "copacetic".

Yeah, yeah.
No, no, I wasn't gonna.

Yeah, I should have
brought Alison.

Yeah, you've made
your preference clear.

Look, man,
are we having a problem here?

Not unless you come between
me and my family.

Consider your territory
pissed on.

All right.

Come on.

Let's do this.

(door buzzes)

Hey, pouchy.

This is the man
I was telling you about.

It's nice to meet you,
senhor pozinho.

(speaking portuguese)

Donnie: Uh...

(both speaking portuguese)

My grandfather retired
in the algarve, so...

You'll see it's just
as we agreed.

Right back at you.

Donald, what is that?

Shit.

(stuttering) my wife
is running for, uh,

School trustee.

(speaking broken portuguese)

(correcting in portuguese)

(speaking portuguese)

Um, I happened to grab
the wrong envelope.

That... That's my bad.

So you just hang tight,
and, uh, I will be right back.

Yeah, yeah, no bad
intentions, pouchy.

He'll get you the money.

(stammers)

- You go.
- Me?

(speaking portuguese)

Uh, yeah. Sure.

Yeah, my wife has it, so...

Um...

Yeah, I'll go.

Mrs s: Helena, I am so sorry
I betrayed you.

I... I know I caused you
a lot of suffering.

Please, say something.

Now, we fight.

I'm not gonna fight you, Helena.

You're pregnant.

Why is everyone so worried
about my baby?

Why don't you tell me how
you plan to raise this child?

I will find my boyfriend.

I didn't know
you had a boyfriend.

He is named jesse.

Together, we will
drive tow truck

And make a home for our babies.

Well, he sounds like
an honest man.

Outside.

No.

Hit me.

You can't have Sarah

Without the rest
of her family, I'm afraid.

(gasps)

Hit me.

(Mrs. s breathing heavily)

Join us, Helena, you're kin.

Shit! I hit you.

- Sorry. I'm sorry.
- (Helena struggling)

I am so sorry for what I did.

Helena:
I hate you! I hate you!

I'm so sorry.

Please, forgive me.

I've got you.

I've got you.

Helena, it's okay.

You're with family now.

(door opening)

Mother. (sighs)

- What is it?
- Oh, god.

It was terrifying.

I was dizzy,
I had tunnel vision,

But I'm...
I'm feeling much better now.

- Okay.
- Mmm-hmm.

It's not a stroke, then?

There is some lemon water
in my bag.

Can you get it for me, please?

(connie inhales sharply)

Mom, I'm making my campaign
speech in an hour.

I don't have time for this.

I thought with your issues
you'd be more sympathetic

To a panic attack.

What is it?
What's on your mind?

Out with it, please.

Well, you're not
going to like it.

I can't sell you the store.

What?

Here you go, darling.
Thank you.

Candidates photo op.

Time for photos, everybody.

Shit.

- (mouthing)
- five more minutes.

Will do. Okay.

Jesus christ, Alison,
where are you?

Alison: Mother,
we had an agreement.

Well, no, we had a framework.

But, I just... I can't.

- (mobile phone chimes) -I
started this store from scratch

When I left your father.

- I need this store.
- (mobile phone chimes)

- I need it.
- Why all of a sudden? Why?

It's never been more than a
convenient part-time job for you.

Donnie and I worked
very hard on that bid.

Oh, yes, I'm sure
mr chubbs worked his tail off.

Don't call him that!

Well, that's his name, isn't it?

Donald francis chubbs.

Oh, I lost all respect for that
man when he took your name.

You insisted he take my name.

Yes, and he did.

And now,
he is listed as co-owner.

I'm not gonna let you
make this about Donnie.

Nobody is good enough.

- Not dad!
- Don't you say that.

And certainly not me.

Dramatic Alison who doesn't
choose her husband correctly.

She'll never be on the stage!

Oh, ali.

And I'm certainly never
gonna be school trustee, am I?

(mobile phone chimes)

You know what?
I'm gonna win this election.

And I'm recycling this.

Cosima: Uh, felix, Alison's
not picking up her phone,

And I really need her pee.
I'm at the back entrance.

Hey, Alison,
I'm at the back door.

Meet me at the south entrance.

- Alison.
- Um...

Where are you going?

- Nowhere.
- Well, let's go.

You're late for the photo op.

- I really want you to win.
- Okay.

Alison is absolutely
pro-family.

She's got
a pro-family dynamic.

So take this and support...

Sorry.

Excuse me, I'm gonna have to
steal her away, darling.

We're two minutes
to camera ready, okay?

Cosima: I need pee.

Felix: Yeah, well,
Alison's not here

And we're having
a bloody crisis.

Get inside
before anybody else sees you.

Okay. Don't push me.

Put this on.

- Put it on!
- Well, I'm not... No. What?

Hide your dreads
under this god-awful hat.

I'm not... No.

Felix, I'm not posing
as Alison for photos.

- Yes, you are.
- I'm not. No.

I'm not doing that.

I'm not. I just need her pee,
that's it.

Yeah, what's this for anyways?

And don't say drug testing

Because you're not
a bloody shot putter.

- No, it's not. No.
- Sit.

Okay.

Delphine's on this,
like, power trip.

She won't leave me alone.

- (sighs)
- I don't trust her.

It's like planet DYAD shit.

Well, now you're
on planet Alison.

So, if you want her piss,

Then you're gonna
have to play along.

Okay.

Thank god.
Now, you need bangs.

Bangs that say
"unhappy, sexless marriage."

That's them. Okay.

Well, doesn't that look nice?

(mobile phone beeps)

Okay.

Instead of mending this fence,

I'm going to
take this clay oven.

Look at this guy,
he's going to starve our kids.

I need the lab.

It's rachel's turn
for protein testing.

Blood, urinalysis.

Hello, scott.

(monitor beeping)

Uh...

Agricola.

What?

- What is it?
- Scott: Uh, board game.

Medieval farm building.

Oh.

Teach.

Medieval farm building?

I'm so...

...Bored.

Delphine: Well...

You want to?

Sure. I mean, yeah.

Maybe start
without the expansions.

Cosima: Sorry, dude.

Felix, I can't see anything.

Felix: Oh, jesus christ.
You need to relax, okay?

I know Alison's got
a cactus up her arse,

But you're over clinching.

I can't see anything, felix.

Well, that's fine.
It's just stills.

Sarah Stubbs.

- Hi, Sarah Stubbs.
- Hello!

Hi, Alison Hendrix.

Felix: Okay, everybody,
here's Alison Hendrix.

She's here.

Line up for a picture with
your future school trustee.

Who's up first, hmm?
How about you?

Come embrace Alison, and
throw your arms around her.

- Fudge! -Felix: Treat her
like the mother you never had

Or always wanted,
or something like that.

All right. Big smiles.
Bigger, okay?

We want to see
those teeth gleam in the lens.

It's gonna be brilliant,
it's gonna be fantastic.

Alison, we got a problem.

What?

Your husband gave these to
pouchy instead of the money.

No, no, no, no, no.

He gave them the wrong envelope?

Yeah. You know, seriously,

Maybe you shouldn't mix
business and marriage.

Alison: Oh, god.

The money's up there.

Okay, okay. Know what?
Go, go, go, go.

Where is Donnie?
Is he in danger?

Short answer, yeah.

I'm gonna
switch these envelopes,

You go wait outside.

Felix: I think we can get the
smiles even bigger than that.

I think that we can just
drive those cheeks up

Until it hurts, just a bit.

(whispering)
felix, felix, come on, man.

Freaking hell. What?

Holy freaking christmas cake.

Alison: Mother, hi!
What are you doing here?

I need to tell you something
very important.

(stutters) I...

Well, okay, come. This way.

You wait here,
and I'll be right back.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

- This cannot wait.
- What is it?

Now, wasn't this
your home ec class?

It's family sciences now,
but yes.

Oh, you know what?
The last time I was in here,

You were in tears because
you only got 82 in cooking.

Mom, talk!

(sighs)

You said I didn't think
your father was good enough.

And it's time for you
to know the truth.

He wasn't.

I mean, you know we had
to conceive you in vitro

Because of his low motility.

I can't listen
to this right now.

I wanted better stock
for my child,

So I engaged the clinic
to provide an upgrade.

A competitive swimmer,
jewish, blonde, oddly.

Wait. Dad...

Well, why tell him?

I mean, my point is,

If I seem disappointed
in your life choices,

It's only because
I tried to give you

Every opportunity from day one.

You need to wait here.

(whispering) hey, hey.
Did you get the money?

No, he's getting it.
I've been ambushed.

Would you...

Would you entertain my mother
for a second?

- Just keep her away from the mixer.
- All right.

Okay, guys, it looks like
Mrs. Hendrix is all done.

Thank you very much.
Full schedule.

She's in Mrs. Green's room, okay?

Thank you.

You owe me.

You owe me Alison pee.

(exhales deeply)
okay, okay, okay.

Well, um,
we'll hide you in the loo,

And then I'll bring
Alison in afterwards

When the time's right, yeah?

- Okay.
- Okay. Let's go.

Scott: Okay,
you are a medieval farmer.

Each turn, you get two choices
to build your farm,

One for you
and one for your spouse.

You can build fences,
plant crops, have children.

Not seriously.

Oh, yes.
This is how we do it, rachel.

Anyone comes in,
we're farm-building.

Now, there are 14 game rounds
and six stages,

With a harvest
at the end of each stage.

Felix: Oh, my god. Okay.

Look, you're safe.
Um, Cosima's in the bathroom,

But she really needs your piss.

- Okay.
- Okay. Well, these...

These are
my campaign signatures.

We accidentally
gave Sarah Stubbs

An envelope with
30,000 cash in it.

What?

Alison, what is going on?

You know what? I quit.
This is ridiculous.

No, no, no, no. Felix, felix.

Okay, okay.

(whispering)
we're drug dealers.

Donnie and I are dealing pills.

And we mixed up the envelopes

And now he's being held captive
by some man called pouchy.

Pouchy?

Pouchy, as in the crime lord
that cut off vic's finger?

Maybe.

There are not
two pouchys, darling.

(speaking portuguese)

I'm confident that
we will get past this,

And we will make
a lot of money together.

Am I right?

So, tune-ups
and oil changes, too, or...

(stutters)
I just got a new car

And if you go
to the dealer for...

My uncle worries you are not
taking us seriously.

No, he'll get the money.
He will!

He'll get it!

I'm going there myself.

If I don't have the money
in 30 minutes,

You lose your nose.

(Donnie grunts)

Felix: Do you know what? I've got a
friend here who's a casting director,

And I really think
you two should meet.

- Let's go find him.
- Really? Okay.

Hi.

(chuckles)

Vote for Alison.

- Marci: Alison?
- Yes.

We're you slipping something
in under the wire?

(stuttering) no, what kind
of accusation is that?

Well, maybe you don't have
enough signatures.

I have plenty of signatures.

Woman: Marci, do you want
to do your sound check?

It's almost time for speeches.

How are you
at public speaking now?

Because I heard that
you, uh, choked

On your valedictorian.

I had the flu.

(gasps) ah.

Pa, pa, pa, pa. (gasps)

- Here you are.
- Whoa!

God, we were so in love.

Connie:
High-school sweethearts.

So, I hear there's a hiccup
in the sale of bubbles.

Oh, the offer just wasn't
up to snuff.

Well, I mean, it can't be easy
handing it over

After everything
you've done to it.

No, it's not.

Not with mr chubbs on the title

- To fritter it all away.
- Yeah, you mean Donnie?

Yeah, it's a head-scratcher,
I'm not gonna lie.

Now, listen, connie.

You're her mother.

I mean, you don't see
the same Alison that I see.

I see a beautiful, ambitious,
classy young woman

- With a head for business.
- Hmm.

I see someone a lot like you.

Mr Kellerman, you charmer.

I mean, let's be serious,

We both know
who's gonna wear the pants

At the new bubbles.

I mean, I think
your legacy is safe.

Well, I am so glad you stayed
in touch all this time.

(mobile ringing)

- Hello, Donnie, are you all right?
- Donnie: Uh...

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Jason's
just a little late, so...

Mr pozinho's gonna need you

To meet his niece
in the parking lot, okay?

Oh, my god!

Just... Just get to
the parking lot, please, ali.

All right, everyone!
To the cafe-torium,

We're about to start
the speeches.

Hi, I'm Alison Hendrix.

This is for my husband,
so you return him.

Get in.

Uh, I have a speech to make.

Get in, now!

The most viable,

Fiscally responsible option
for our growing community

Is to adjust
district boundaries.

And if Alison Hendrix
were actually here...

- Bloody hell!
- I would challenge her

To argue that very point.

Felix: Cosima! Cosima!

- Cosima!
- Yup.

- Hey! Hey, hey, I need you, okay?
- Where's Alison?

She's not here,
but I need you to take these.

I need you to memorise them
as fast as you can.

I can't... (stammers)
you, you have my glasses.

It doesn't matter,
you can improvise.

No!

Hey, I don't know the first thing
about school trustee stuff.

(counting in portuguese)

I don't have the time to go
through all the way to 30.

(counting in portuguese)

Next we have Alison Hendrix.

Alison?

(all murmuring)

(continues counting)

Alison Hendrix!

I guess she's not here...

Oh! Yeah, I'm here!

Ooh! Okay,
our final candidate!

Alison Hendrix,

A very active bailey downs
community member.

No! No, no, no!
Big guy, big guy, don't!

Por favor, not my nose!

- (screaming in portuguese)
- (mobile ringing)

(speaking portuguese)

Donnie: Oh, my god!

Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you!

Thank you. Thank you. Thanks.

May I use your restroom?

Um...

I've been hearing a lot of people
talk today about, um, family values,

And in my opinion,

Uh, the most important
family value

Is, um, accepting
your family for who they are.

(coughs)

Uh...

- No, no, no! -But that doesn't
mean colouring inside the lines,

Because kids don't do that,
that's their gift.

And, as a lesbian...

- (hushed murmurs)
- (groans)

...Uh, supporter,
and an lgbtq...

Oh, my god!
Thank god you're here.

I... I can't colour
inside the lines.

I had my speech so ready!

I know, I know.

(coughing) excuse me.

So sorry.

(whispering) come on!
Come on, get off!

Sorry, I'm just gonna
grab a cup of water.

(coughing)
god. It's a shit show.

- Are you okay?
- Mmm-hmm.

I'll meet you
in the bathroom, okay?

Sorry, that was terrible.

Good luck.

(coughing)

Sorry, parents. (chuckles)

Something Marci Coates said
just got stuck in my throat.

(scattered laughter)

Hey! There you are!

I think I just sweet-talked
your mom into a sale.

Uh, that's good.

I think I talked myself
into something sweet, too.

- What's that?
- This, ali.

(Cosima grunting)

I need to pee.

Adjusting the catchment area of bailey
downs is not the family-first option.

As school trustee
and a mother of two,

I would not make boundaries
my agenda.

Instead, I would...

Um...

I would...

(hushed murmuring)

Family, that's my agenda.

- Hey. Thank you.
- (answers in spanish)

Oh, shit!

- What happened?
- (chuckles)

Negotiations.

Helena's outside
walking them off.

Looks like I'm gonna be
a granny to her baby.

You sure about that?

Sometimes family is more than
just the people under your roof.

Um, they're people
who jump in head-first,

Who aren't afraid to make fools

Of themselves to help you,

Who don't hide
their faces in shame

If you fall down.

Paul's gone.

I had these dreams

About Beth.

If your family is suddenly
bigger than you expected,

And your house gets too crowded,

Do you tell your family that they need
to find a different place to live?

Art was trying to find you and
then Gracie showed up at his door.

Oh, she's, uh, she's living
with us by the way.

What?

You make room, you adapt,

You find creative solutions
to keep people together.

We both have long stories
to tell, huh?

Long trip home to tell them.

Sarah: (sighs)
I'm so tired, mum.

Mrs s: I know, love.

Our schools are our family.

And as school trustee,
I will not divide us.

Bailey downs stays in
the glendale school district.

I stand for inclusion,
not exclusion.

I will be your mother hen,

And I will keep
our chicks together.

(applause and cheers)

Alison: Jason kissed me?

Uh, yeah. I don't know
what his name is.

But yeah, he just came
out of nowhere and did it.

I... I don't hear
you peeing, Alison.

- Did you kiss him back?
- No.

- Are you having an affair?
- No, no!

Were his lips still really soft?

(sighs) just pee, please!

(coughing violently)

No! No, no.

No, I won't do that.

You're gonna tell me
what's wrong.

Are you sick again?

No, no, this isn't about me.
Okay, this is about

This protein in Castor

And whether
it's communicable or not.

No, it isn't.

Look, I reported my menstrual
flow to Donnie this morning.

We need DYAD when
it comes to our health.

- (door opens)
- okay?

- Connie: Alison?
- Oh!

Mother.

I have been looking
for you, Alison!

You soared out there!

- (laughs)
- congratulations.

You've got my vote.

Oh, and I signed.

Bubbles is yours.

(both laugh)

Even with Donnie as, you know,
co-owner and...

No, I know... I know you'll be
at the helm, darling,

And I know one day, when
it's time to make a change,

Like I made with your father,

You'll find the strength to.

Sometimes we have to make
hard choices, Alison.

Who knows?

Maybe Jason Kellerman
will still be waiting, huh?

I want to introduce you
to someone, mother.

- Oh, okay.
- Mmm-hmm.

Alison: Cosima.
Cosima: No! No, no, no.

- Alison...
- Come on.

(clears throat)

Hey, I'm Cosima.

What?

Who is this?

My clone, mother.

You think you fooled dad
down at the ivf clinic?

No, you were implanted
with a clone.

What're you talking about?

You can't choose
your family, can you?

I think... I think
I'm just gonna take off,

So, unless you need me
for anything?

No, uh, you go
take care of yourself.

I mean that.

- Nice meeting you, Mrs. Hendrix.
- Oh!

(door closes)

You think that girl
is your clone?

That makes logical sense to you?

It's the truth!

Alison, that girl was mulatto.

No, she wasn't.

- She wasn't?
- No!

Well, I will never understand
that hairstyle. (chuckles)

You must be right
about one thing.

I was duped at ivf.

Well, that donor was supposed
to be exclusive,

But clearly that girl's mother
was given some too.

Oh, that would make you
her half-sister, darling,

A clone is
something else entirely.

You're right, that must be it.

What a bizarre coincidence.

But if you want to keep
seeing her,

Why don't you bring her
to the club...

- (door closes)
- Alison?

Al...

Hey.

So, I have a feeling

That you

Are gonna tell me something.

What is it?

If you don't have any children
you can only take two actions.

You have my...

- Book?
- ...Book.

- No.
- Yes.

Not your book.

My... My... My father...

Our secret language.

He didn't leave it
for you though, did he?

Who, then?

I have a pretty serious
health issue.

Okay, tell me.

It's an auto-immune disorder and
it affects my epithelial tissue.

It ebbs and flows, lungs
and uterus at the moment.

Show me.

It's very rare, though.

Oh, my god!

Cosima: Oh, shit!

What does it say?

I'll only tell Sarah.

Why doesn't the psycho go live
with one of her other sisters?

Because it's your turn!

Sestra Alison has good taste.

Yeah, well, she's very crafty...

- In men.
- What?

Jason Kellerman kissed you.

Alison: I'll talk to him.

Looking good, rachel.

She thinks Delphine
is going to eliminate her.

This is terrible.

So creepy!

(theme music playing)