One Day at a Time (1975–1984): Season 3, Episode 19 - The Dress Designer - full transcript

Julie wants to get her dress designs into a fashion show after the required deadline.

♪ This is it, this is it

♪ This is life, the one you get

♪ So go and have a ball

♪ This is it, this is it

♪ Straight ahead
and rest assured

♪ You can't be sure at all

♪ So while you're
here enjoy the view

♪ Keep on doing you do

♪ Hold on tight
we'll muddle through

♪ One day at a
time, one day at a time

♪ So up on your
feet, up on your feet

♪ Somewhere
there's music playing

♪ Don't you worry none

♪ We'll just take
it like it comes

♪ One day at a
time, one day at a time

♪ One day at a time, da-da-da-da

♪ One day at a
time, one day at at time

♪ One day at a time, da-da-da-da

♪ One day at at time


(snapping fingers)

(audience laughing)

- Oh, where are they?

They've gotta be here somewhere.

Maybe we've been robbed.


- We've been robbed!

- I knew it!

- Oh, Julie!

- Give my brain to science,

but give my body to Elton John.

(audience laughing)

- Julie, what is all this mess?

- Mom, where'd you put my
fashion sketches from high school?

- Well as I recall I didn't
put them any place.

- Well, they've gotta
be here somewhere.

Where are they?

- I haven't the foggiest.

- Oh, that's great, Mom.

You kept everything pip
squeak has ever done.

Her crummy potholder
from third grade,

all of her spelling tests.

You never kept any
of my spelling tests.

- For some mysterious reason

you never brought any home.

(audience laughing)

- Mysterious.

(audience laughing)

I know where your sketches are.

- Where?

- I'm not gonna tell you.

You called my potholder crummy.

(audience laughing)

- Barbara, would
you like me to deliver

your body to Elton
John all black and blue?

- All right.

You put your things
in a special place

so that you'd always
remember where they are, right?

- Of course, the special place.

Now I remember!

Just can't remember
where the special place is.

- But I remember.

You see, you put
them in the dresser,

under the sweater you
charged to Mom's account

and didn't tell her about.

(audience oohing)

- Mom, I'll pay for it.

I'll pay you back
for it with the money

I make fashion designing.

- Well, I don't know
if I can wait that long.

You've been telling
me about that ever since

you got out of high school.

- Mom, you know I
love to design clothes.

I got an A in the class.

- Yeah, whole family
got drunk to celebrate.


- I've been sketching
every chance I get.

I made that skirt for Barbara

and I'm working on my pinafore.

Aw, this is what I want
to do more than anything.

- Julie, I have been
asking you over and over

again about going
to design school,

but you always had
some excuse not to go.

- I don't have to
go to design school.

- I don't have to
go to design school.

- Ma, I don't think
you understand.

I've got a chance to sell
one of my original designs

to a big boutique.

- Really? Where?

- Eve's Leaves.

- Where?

(audience laughing)

- Eve's Leaves, that
boutique on Hanken Avenue?

- Oh, right, it's right
across from that fruit stand,

Adam's Apples.

(audience laughing)

- Sweetheart, did they
buy one of your designs?

- Well not yet.

- Oh.

- But they're going to.

- Oh?

- As soon as I win the contest.

- Oh.

- I heard about
it from Schneider.

- Uh-oh.

(audience laughing)

- From Schneider?

- You called?

(audience laughing)

It all started when I
tore this lady's dress.

- Schneider.

- Interesting.

- Wait a minute, don't
get the wrong idea.

She got her dress caught
in my new rotary rooter.

(audience laughing)

- Schneider, what does
all this got to do with

Julie entering a contest?

- Well, me, being the
gentleman that I am,

covered her with my
coat and I took her down

to Eve's Leaves and
bought her a new one.

- A new rooter?

- A new dress.

Anyway, there was this sign
about the contest and I, uh...

- Explain to me
about this contest.

- Mom, you see, Eve
is having a fashion show

featuring dresses
by young designers.

Now if I win I'm
gonna be on my way.

Neiman Marcus, Sack
Fifth Avenue, Bonwit Teller's.

- Kmart.

(audience laughing)

- Julie, my sweet,
little optimist,

aren't there a few
ifs along the way?

- Sure, but it's a good chance.

- Come on, Julie, I'll
drive you down there.

I want to make sure that

everything turns out okay.

- Thank you, Schneider.

- Good luck, Julie.

- Oh, thanks, Barbara.

And Mom, don't
you worry about me.

I have got complete and
total confidence in myself.

- You know, I feel like,

like that French designer.

Ga Vinci.

(audience laughing)

Leonardo ga Vinci, hoo-hoo!

(audience laughing)

- Hey, wait a minute!


What about all this mess?

Uh, Barbara?

(door slamming)

(audience laughing)


(door slamming)



- Now this, this
is a denim caftan.

- It's nice, but uh...

- Here's a halter top sundress.

Mrs. Eddlebrock gave
me an A on it in the class.

- Mrs. Eddlebrock?

Is she still at the high school?

- Yeah, I had her for wood shop.

(audience laughing)

- I'm sorry honey, the
entries were closed yesterday.

- Couldn't you please
make an exception?

- She only heard
about it this morning.

- Well, handsome,
that's the problem.

Nobody knows anything about it.

Do a little somethin'
for the community,

you think you could
expect a little free publicity.

(audience laughing)

- Been in town long?

(audience laughing)

- Could I just enter one dress?

- Oh, look, this
one's Julie's favorite.

It's really nice.

- Yeah, see, it's the
camisole look with petticoats.

- Oh, honey, will you do
me a favor and forget it?

I got problems of my own.

My inventory is up,
my profits are down,

the roof leaks and the
mice got into my pantyhose.

(audience laughing)

- Bet that tickles.

(audience laughing)

- You tickle me, lover.

- Now I could
make it really fast.

You see, I started
it for myself so it's

already partially done.

- I could be her model.

- Yeah!

- You know that's not bad.

Little old-fashioned.

- Oh no, no, that's coming back.

- Coming back, if something
should be coming back

it should be somethin'
practical like hot pants.

(audience laughing)

- You are cute.

You're basic, but you're cute.

(audience laughing)

- Now could you just tell
me if you like my sketches?

- Yes, I like the sketch.

You really have talent.

Like the way you've
used the lace there, honey.

- Well then can I
enter the show?

- No way.

- Excuse me, girls.

(clearing throat)

Ah, Miss Leaves.

(audience laughing)

If you like what
the kid is doing,

why don't you give her a break?

- Please?

- You said she was talented.

- Oh, honey, why
don't you just forget it?

It won't do any good.

With the publicity
I'm not getting,

no one would show up anyway.

I called the
newspaper three times

trying to convince
the fashion editor

to come down and be the judge

and all I got was the runaround.

- Wait a second.

My mom could get
the fashion editor here.

- [Both] She can?

- Well, yeah, I mean, she
works in public relations.

She knows all the editors.

My mom and the fashion
editor are like this, right Barb?

- Right, just like this.

- But then again, if my dress
isn't gonna be in the show...

- Did I say the dress wasn't
going to be in the show?

A fine thing like this.

- Oh, thank you, uh...

- Eve, just call me Eve.
- Eve.

- Okay, honey.

You be here at 12
noon on Saturday.

If the fashion editor
doesn't show up,

go ahead and finish the dress.

They could bury you in it.

(audience laughing)

- You shouldn't put
Mom on the spot like that.

- Barbara, I had
to do something.

- Are you kidding?

You mean this is
that important to you?

- Schneider, it's everything.

This is my big chance
to break into somethin'

I really want to do.

- All right, I'll tell you what.

You two take the bus home.

I don't normally use
the Schneider charisma

for non-recreational purposes,

(audience laughing)

but just in the event
that that fashion editor

doesn't show up,
Adam is gonna turn Eve

into a lump of putty.

(audience laughing)

A large lump of putty.

(audience laughing)

- Okay now, you just hold still.

- I'm hungry.

- Forget it, Barbara.

You're fasting, you're
not eating for three days.

- Fasting is when you
don't put whip cream

on your chocolate sundae.

- You wanted to be the model.

- You're supposed to fit
the dress to the model,

not the model to
the dress, Julie.

- Just take a deep breath.

Hold it until Saturday.

(audience laughing)

- Julie, you know
this whole thing isn't

gonna work anyway.

Mom's gonna hit the
ceiling when you tell her

that she has to get
the fashion editor.

- Barbara, don't you worry.

I can handle Mom, hi!

- Hi!

Handle me about what?

- Uh, you'll never believe this.

The woman loved my sketches.

I'm gonna be in the show,

Barbara's gonna be
the model and then...

- Hey, that's terrific!

You knew what you wanted
and you went out and got it.


- Thanks, Mom.

- Handle me about what?

- Jellybeans, give me!

- No way!

You're not touchin'!

Hey, Mom, are you
tryin' to ruin my career?

You know where
jellybeans go on her.

(audience laughing)

- Julie, handle me about what?

- Well you see, I promised
the lady at the shop

that you'd do us a
teensy weensy favor.

- Oh, darling.

I don't mind doing you a favor.

The teensy weensy that
scares the hell out of me.

(audience laughing)

- Well, okay.

I said that you'd
get the fashion editor

of the newspaper
to judge the show.

- Julie, you had
no right to do that.

- Mom, you've got lots of
connections at the paper.

- You're right, I do,

but I don't know
the fashion editor.

She's brand-new.

- Oh good, now I
can have a jellybean.

- No, you can't!

Mom, this means more
to me than anything else.

Now if I don't get the
fashion editor there,

I can't be in the show.



- I don't even know her name.

- It's Ellie Watkins.

Here's the number,
here's the phone, I'll dial.

- And I'll have a jellybean.

- No, you won't.

- All right, I'll try.

I'll do the best I can.

Nothing more I, hello.

Ah, yes, may I speak with
the fashion editor, please?

Miss Ellie... - Ellie Watkins.

- Watkins.

Oh, I see.

Thank you.

- So?

- She's flying out
tonight for Paris.

- Paris?

- Pass the jellybeans.

- Darling, she's
going on business.

What do you want me to do?

- If you loved me,
you'd phone Paris.

(audience laughing)

- Hello, Paris,
is Ellie there yet?

(audience laughing)

- Thanks for all
your concern, Mom.


- Bless you.

- I think I'm catching a cold.

A malnutrition cold.

(audience laughing)

- Have a fever?

- Oh, that's great, Mom.

Give Barbara more
attention for one sniffle

than I get for my whole career.

Even Schneider wants
to help more than you do.

- [Ann] Schneider?

- Huh, you should've
seen Schneider pouring

on the charm down there.

Adam is about to reduce Eve

to a lump of putty.

(audience laughing)

- Julie, I hate to
bust your bubble,

but it isn't gonna work.

Most kids would've at
least considered going

to design school,
but no, not you,

not Julie Cooper.

You want an instant career.

Add water and mix.

- Mom, what's wrong
with using a little initiative?

- Pulling strings?

Using your friends?

You call that initiative?

Darling, you promised
my help without

even consulting me.

You base your hopes on
Schneider's somewhat rustic charm.

(audience laughing)

And you expect some
woman to fly home from Paris

just to help you.

- Mom.

- Honey, life ain't like that.

I mean, anything
worth while takes time

and effort and planning.

You can't expect miracles.

- Go ahead and
finish that dress, kid.

Adam shared an apple with Eve

and you are in the contest.

- Oh, Schneider, thank you!

- Mom, look at this.

Heavy fog closes airport.

All flights canceled.

- That means the fashion
editor is still in town!

This is a miracle.

- Yeah.

(audience laughing)

Thanks a lot.

(audience laughing)

(audience applauding)

(people talking in background)

(audience laughing)
(audience applauding)

- We'll start very
soon, Miss Watkins.

- Good.

- Oh. (chuckles)

Hey, Red.

Thanks for getting
the fashion editor here.

I didn't think it'd happen.

- Oh well, there was
a lot of luck involved,

no matter what my
daughter may say.

- I brought you some
cookies, sweet pea.

(audience laughing)

- Thanks very much.

I'm on the liquid fat diet.

(audience laughing)

- Sweet pea?


- Come on, will ya?

She hasn't been
kissed since VJ Day.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, so that's how it is?

- That's not how it is.

I simply took her out to dinner.

I happened by mistake to turn up

the Schneider flame
a little bit too much.

She came at me
like a Sherman tank.

(audience laughing)

- Schneider, the
fashion editor is here.

You can leave.

- Oh no, I wouldn't leave now.

I'd louse up Julie's chances.

See, once a woman
has been exposed

to the Schneider flame,
there is no turning back.

Hell hath no fury like
a woman scorched.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, Schneider.

- Red, hooks off.

He's mine.

(audience laughing)

- Sometimes, just sometimes,

I wish I was an average guy.

(audience laughing)

- Yeah, well, you just
have to live with that.

I better go see
how Julie's doing.


- Barbara, would you sneeze
on somebody else's dress?

And put on some makeup.

You look sick.

- I am sick, Julie.

I haven't slept,
I haven't eaten.

And my stomach is
making more noise than you.

- Barbara, I promised
you that after the show

you get two cheeseburgers,
a bag of fries,

and a chocolate malt.

- Don't forget the pepperoni
pizza you promised.

- Oh, excuse me.

Excuse me, girls.


- Hi.

- How's it goin', darlings?

- Aw, not too good, Ma.

I don't think I have a chance.

- Hey, relax, you'll be fine.

- Fine?

- Yeah.

- All the other
outfits are beautiful

and the models
are tall and skinny.


I'm stuck with Rudolph
the Red-Nosed Munchkin.

(audience laughing)

- Have you seen my fanny?

(audience laughing)

I can't find my fanny pads.

I'll kill that little
brother of mine.

He's probably at the ball field

using it as a chest protector.

- Two minutes,
girls, two minutes.

- Ah, good luck.

Good luck, sweetheart.

- Oh, thank you, Ma.

- You'll be terrific.

- Okay, Barb,
time to get dressed.

- Oh.

- Come on.


Come on, Barbara.

Oh, come on, now
just get dressed.

- I don't feel good.

- Ugh, I wonder if Christian
Dior had these problems.

(audience laughing)

- Look, will you stop worrying?

Julie's gonna win.

- Well I'm not sure
I want her to win.

- Huh?

- Well, yeah, sure
I want her to...

- It's time to sit down.

We're going to start.

- Okay.

- Over here.
- Oh.

- You here, sweet pea.

- Whoa!

- When the show starts,

if I tug my ear, that
means I love you

and if you stroke your
mustache that means

you love me, okay?

(audience laughing)

- If I start to breathe rapidly,

get me a brown bag, would ya?

(audience laughing)

- Will you all be
seated, please?

We're about to start.

Anywhere, there's
a chair over here.

Here we are.

Right here, ma'am.

There we are.

(clearing throat)

Welcome to Eve's Leaves'
new designer fashion show.

Tomorrow's designer
fashions today.

(audience applauding)

But first I'd like to introduce

a very special person.

- This is embarrassing,
I don't know,

I don't know what to say.

- Miss Ellie Watkins,

noted fashion editor
and our judge for today.

(crowd applauding)

Thank you for
coming, Miss Watkins.

And now as they say in
show biz, on with the show.

Here is our first dress.


(crowd applauding)

Designed by Jeannie Olson.

This patchwork suede
tunic is belted over

a big cowl that
pulls up to a hood.

The pants are full with
drawstrings at the waist

and tie at the ankles.

It is made in
leg-revealing crepe.

(audience laughing)

(audience applauding)

The pants also look
wonderful tucked into boots,

giving an even
sportier look to the outfit.

Isn't that lovely?

Clever design.

Place, my dear.

And now for dress number two,

designed by Julie Cooper.

(sneezing in background)

- [Julie] Well where are
you going, you dummy?

- [Barbara] To blow
my nose, you mind?

- Moving right along
to dress number three.

Three, by Robin Griffiths.


(crowd applauding)

Robin has translated
her concern for ecology

into a painting with fabric,

using pure silk
for the basic dress,

recycled scraps and
trim from other projects.

Robin has combined
elements of sky,

sea, and land.

These combined with a
hand painted background

to create a
one-of-a-kind fantasy.

Aren't they lovely?

(crowd applauding)

- There's something
wrong with the bodice.

- You made it.

- Well, you're in it.

- And now back to
dress number two.

- No, we're not ready yet!

Maybe I oughta
stuff it with something.

- It's about time you got
here with my fanny pads.

- Say, now maybe...
- Wait a second.

You are not stuffing
my chest with her fanny.

(audience laughing)

- And now for item number four.

Isn't that attractive?

(crowd applauding)

This ensemble
will take you in style

to college or work this fall.

Lillian Richards works
beautifully in wool,

creating a clever
swinging skirt and cape.

The cape reverses
to give a smart day

or evening look.

Two-tone for sunlight
and the more coordinated

look for night time wear.

I hope you patrons
at Eve's Leaves...

(audience laughing)

- What are you doing?

- My lip itches.

(audience laughing)

- Scratch it.

- If I scratch my lip,

she gonna flip.

(audience laughing)

- This outfit is not only chic,

but also warm and practical.

The turtleneck,
belt, and boots are all

from Eve's Leaves.


And now for number
five on your list.

- We're ready now.

- Back to number two.

(crowd applauding)

Julie Cooper has
designed and sewn

this camisole dress that hints
of an old-fashioned romance.

The dress is a
confection of pink satin,

chiffon, and antique lace.

- So that's the
Cooper dress, eh?

Well, my, that's pretty.

Cooper is two O's, isn't it?

C-O-O... (audience laughing)

- [Eve] Ribbons and tiny
flowers recall a valentine of old.

The dress...

- Don't you dare!


Barbara, the seams, the seams.

- Oh!


(audience laughing)

- There will be a
brief intermission.

(audience laughing)

- I just want to go home.

- Don't you want to see who won?

- Why?

I know you're
gonna win first prize

for the best clown act.

- Ah, attention, please.

- Here she is, here she is now.

- Miss Watkins has
made her decision

and we have a winner.

I want to thank all
the girls for turning in

such nice designs
and working so hard.

But for the best
original design,

Miss Julie Cooper.

- [Julie] Oh!

- Ha ha, way to go!

That's the way
to go, baby, yeah!

Ha ha!

Oh, that's the way!

(audience laughing)

- Nice.

- Oh boy, hey.

You really got some
grip there, don't ya?

Who'd you used to go
out with, Grizzly Adams?

Best regards to the bear.

(audience laughing)

- Oh Mom, I told you.

I won!

Aren't you proud of me?

- I sure am.

- So am I.

- Thank you.

Eve, Eve, now I know
it's gonna take me awhile

to get set up, but how
many more of my dresses

would you like to order?

- No more, honey.

- No more?

I won for best design.

- You did, and it deserved it.

But if there'd been an
award for impracticality,

you would've won
that, too, honey.

Now you've got talent,

but the material was too flimsy,

it wouldn't clean easily.

And as for the commercial
quality of your sewing...

- Well, I could make that over.

I mean, this dress
is really in right now.

- A designer has to know
what's in two years from now.

You want to be a success, honey,

you've got a heck
of a lot to learn.

Red, I'm kind of
surprised at you.

You got a daughter
here with a lot of talent.

You don't even encourage her.

She should be going
to design school.

- I've been selfish.

- Uh-huh.

Good luck, kid.

- Thanks.

Go ahead, Mom, say it.

I told ya so.

- I told ya so.

- Maybe I'm just lazy.

- No, not lazy.

You've got more energy
than both of us put together.

Just impatient.

- Yeah.

Well, maybe I should
try design school.

- Maybe.


- Maybe I could say
something very meaningful here.

- Go ahead, sure.

- I want my pizza!

(audience laughing)

(audience applauding)

- [Announcer] One Day
at a Time was recorded

live on tape before
a studio audience.

(light playful music)