Nurse Jackie (2009–2015): Season 7, Episode 4 - Nice Ladies - full transcript

Previously
on "Nurse Jackie"...

Help, my wife!
Please help! I need help!

Officer: Ma'am, are you
in any way impaired?

Diversion
is gonna be hell.

You may not touch patients,
and just so nobody mistakes you

for a real nurse,
lose the blue scrubs.

Miscarriages, especially
in the first trimester,

are very, very common.

One of the rules
of diversion for Jackie

is that she will
have a designated monitor.

That must be hard for you.



I'm not gonna be the one
monitoring her, you are.

I don't have anybody else to sell to.
I need money for my lawyer.

Where'd you score them?

From this elderly woman
that I take care of.

I think you're gunning
to fire somebody today,

and if it can't be Jackie,
it might as well be me.

You're fired,
effective immediately.

- All Saints is about to be sold.
- Are you kidding me?

Hello, luxury condos.

( theme music playing )

( man vocalizing )

This is a nice lady.

A hardworking
public servant

who was on
a humanitarian effort



to help the victims
of Hurricane Penny.

And along the way,
she stopped to save this nice lady

from certain death
on the Van Wyck.

Blood pulsing
from a wound.

A husband pleading
for the life

of his wife.

And just one person
comes to their rescue. Just one.

Is it any wonder that
that one person, Jackie Peyton,

took something to smooth the edges?
( chuckles )

Heck, when I get on a plane,
I take a Xanax,

a Lunesta, an Ambien,
wash it down with a fine Pinot

and it's good night, Irene,
am I right?

Gratitude.
That's what we owe Jackie Peyton.

Dismissal with gratitude.

( gavel pounds )

And that gratitude
only cost me 10 Gs.

Gs, huh?

That's jailhouse
lingo, isn't it?

Yes, you know me,
hardened criminal.

Yes,
free criminal.

( laughs )

Very romantic.

Oh, brother,
take a bow.

Thank you so much,
really.

The money you owe me,
you're lucky I even showed up today.

Um, excuse me,
how much are we talking about here?

Stay out of this,
Eddie, please.

Jackie's 5,000 in arrears

with another 10 due tomorrow
to keep me on retainer.

Attorney-client privilege?

If I don't get
that money by tomorrow,

you'll need a new attorney
for your nursing license hearing.

Maybe your boyfriend
here can help.

Wow, I... hey.

Everything I have
is yours, you know this.

I know, but you don't
have a job, Eddie.

Yeah, well,
you barely do either.

How are you
even paying for this guy?

You know the old lady
I take care of in Harlem, Vivian?

The one
on all the benzos.

I fixed her dosage
and sold the extra.

Did what you had to do.

My motion to dismiss
was granted.

Now it's time for me
to go back to work, full time.

Full pay.

You're an admitted
drug abuser.

You stay in diversion
until your hearing in three months.

My criminal case was dismissed.
Why do I still need a hearing?

Diversion isn't as fast
as our legal system.

Leave it open.

Okay, I want
to ask you something

and I need you
to be honest with me.

Am I fighting for a job
that will not exist in a few months?

Speak plainly, Jackie.

All Saints is being sold
to Norwegian developers.

They're turning
the hospital into condos.

( laughs )

Okay, you didn't know,
did you?

There's nothing that
goes on in this building

that I don't know about.

Whatever angle
you're playing, game over.

Carrie, you're young.

I'm youngish.

Our future is bright
if we allow it to be bright.

You're asking me
to marry you?

Maybe, I don't know.

'Cause right now
I want to marry you.

If that's not what you want,
then you have to flip the script.

Since the miscarriage, I've been doing
a lot of thinking about my future,

my future
with Carrie and...

( sighs )

Coop, we're the authors
of our own destinies.

Right?

I want to try again.

I want the house
in the country.

I want all those things
that we talked about.

Well, why are you
telling me?

Tell her.
Lock it down.

You're right,
I gotta lock it down.

During tough times,
women respond to decisive action.

Take me and Jackie.
It might've taken us a while

to get to where we are,
but Jackie and I are solid.

Didn't you get fired
because of Jackie?

No, I got fired
for handing Zoey a Xanax.

Yeah, well, I got this.
I'm the one who's employed.

Uh, Coop, I appreciate the gesture,
but we're going Dutch.

I got a job
interview today.

- That's great.
- Yeah.

You're not the only one
with a plan, my friend.

I paid that ambulance man
$100 to bring me here.

I want to see
the head nurse.

#luckyday,
I am the head nurse.

No.

There she is.

Can you tell me
what medications you're taking?

Well, there's
the little blue ones,

the big yellow one
I have to break in half, and...

Mrs. Green is on a regimen
of beta-blockers and benzos.

A history of disorientation.

How do you know?

I take care of Vivian
in her home.

And I strongly suggest
you give her something for her pain.

( whispers )
Jackie, a word in my office.

Okay, just two seconds.

- Oh, shit.
- Jesus, Mom.

I don't want to hear
one word about some old folks' home.

Nobody is talking
about assisted living.

I'm her mother.
I know her thoughts before she thinks them.

It wouldn't
be the worst thing.

- Now, please, Jackie.
- Okay, one second.

Why don't we wait
for Dr. Roman's diagnosis?

We can sit down with Charlane,
we'll figure out what's best.

Okay? Just...

I was advocating
for my patient.

You were advocating
that your patient be prescribed narcotics.

You need to stay
completely away

from Vivian and her daughter
for the rest of the day.

Vivian's scared, Zoey,
and she trusts me.

- Uh, what is that?
- Stickers.

I really want today
to be different,

so I went out
and bought them.

I thought,
"When Jackie does well, reward her."

Yeah, well,
I'm not seven.

Well, now you're not
gonna get any stickers.

- I'm doing my best.
- Yeah, well, so am I, you know?

I'm working two jobs,
I am drowning in debt.

Meanwhile,
you're head nurse.

Bet that came
with a raise, right?

Good for you.

( sighs )

How do you suggest
I deal with Jackie?

I wanted to try a positive
reinforcement technique,

but she beat me to it
with her negativity.

Toilets and dead bodies.
That's the mandate.

Take the feelings
out of it.

That's easier
said than done.

Jackie's not the first person in my life
to profoundly disappoint me, Zoey.

People like that
you've just got to let go of

or you spend a lifetime
trying to fix them.

And you can't fix 'em.

( muffled )
Oh, my God.

It's like I'm still
eating for two.

God, you want
some of this?

Carrie...

Crap.

I thought
when you said lunch,

you just meant,
like, lunch.

In tough times,
it's important to make a plan.

( coughs )

In a short time,
we've made many.

Mm-hmm.

But there's one plan
we haven't made.

Oh, my God.
Whoa, stand, stand.

- What is...
- I need you to stand.

- You don't want this?
- No, I didn't say that.

You can't ask me here
in all this traffic and pigeon shit.

Of course.
I... I'm so sorry. I can do better.

- My thoughts exactly.
- I will do better, you'll see.

( laughs )
I feel very good about this.

Where... where
are you going?

I'm going to work
at my workplace where I work.

- ( brakes squeal )
- Ah!

Hi, sweetie.
Are you okay?

My name is Jackie.
I'm a nurse.

This is Dr. Cooper.

( groans )

We got him, Doc.

I need a backboard now.

Nurse: Call Trauma.
We've got incoming.

Nobody said anything about
touching patients outside of the hospital.

- I was...
- I won't tell if you won't.

( chuckles )

Okay, what's going on
with your mom?

There's no broken bones,
thank God.

But we are just dodging bullets.
She needs to be in a home.

Okay, let's talk
about your options.

There are no options.
She fell down today,

and yesterday
she soiled herself

and she sat in it
for six hours.

I can come by
in the evenings.

I can come by
on the weekends...

My mother needs
round-the-clock care

in a place where she
is not alone all day,

in a place where she can
have a staff to entertain her

and feed her
and handle the medications.

Oh, I can see
the value in that.

- This is beyond what you and I can do.
- Yeah, I understand.

Look, I've taken care of all
the arrangements, but I can't force her.

Okay, I will
talk to your mom.

You need to go
to her place

and pack all the things
that make her comfortable, okay?

- Jackie?
- Yes? Oh.

We discussed that you are not
to talk to patients or their families.

I understand.
Uh, Charlane had a question.

You need to clean the lab
and you need to clean it now.

I'm speaking
with my mother's nurse.

- She's not a nurse.
- Excuse me?

Not here, she isn't.

If you take a seat,
I'd be happy to answer

any questions you have
regarding your mother's care.

Okay... in two seconds,
I... okay.

Grace, hi.

Sweetie,
is everything okay?

Dad told me
about your hearing.

I wanted to celebrate
and take you to lunch.

Oh, uh...

So, um, Grace and I
are gonna get some lunch.

Is that okay?

The diversion program
allows for a half-hour lunch

once you've
completed your duties.

Please clean the lab
as I asked.

Sweetie,
thank you so much.

Oh, honey.

I have to do
what Zoey says, okay?

Okay.

Okay, you're
the best ever.

( whispering ) Please, this is a very
complicated situation

that we are all
trying to work through.

When did you
become an asshole?

I did the scan.

Of course you did.

You still don't
trust me, do you?

Oh, I just have
a hard time

staying away
from my patients, Coop.

Is that weird, being here
with everyone treating you like shit?

I look at you
and it makes me feel bad.

That's funny. That's exactly
how I used to feel about you.

Jackie, why are you here if you can't
do the thing you want to do so badly?

Listen, I clean the lab,

I pee in a cup,
you know.

I come here every day
so I don't use.

I'm telling you as a friend,
that plan is kind of fucked.

Okay, thank you.

All I'm saying
is if I suddenly woke up one day

and found out
I wasn't wanted here,

man, I would walk
out that front door and never look back.

Our first patient together,
bike messenger,

I told you to do the scan,
you didn't, the kid died.

Today, you did the scan.

Why'd you
have to bring that up?

Because you got better.

I come here here every day
so I can get better.

So I know, what places
are completely off-limits for the proposal?

Oh, God.
Um, off the top of my head,

Union Square...

any kind of
planetarium-type place,

the Olive Garden,
nature walks,

nature trails,

vista trails of any kind
that I have to walk to.

You are so specific.
( laughs )

I love that about you.

( awkward laugh )
Okay.

If you don't want
to get married,

you have to tell him.
It's not nice.

Will you tell him?

Why don't you just dump him
in a place somewhere

where he don't know nobody
and nobody knows him?

That's what the people
who love me are doing.

Oh, my God, that is
so perfectly sad.

( phone chiming )

Hello?

Vivian,
hi, it's Jackie.

I need you to look
straight ahead.

I need you
to listen to me,

and I need you
to not get angry.

You are such a fighter.

That's what I like most
about you.

But going into
a home for seniors

is not something
you should fight.

Medically, it's what
you need right now.

I won't know
anybody there.

This is why I'm going
to take you there myself.

I'm gonna stay with you

until you have made
lots of new friends.

I will not leave your side
until that happens.

Carrie, Carrie,

( laughs )
Carrie.

I got a call from
a headhunter in Boston.

Oh, my God.
No!

Chief internist,
can you believe it?

No... yes, of course.

And I told them,
in no uncertain terms...

that I had no interest
in relocating.

My future is here
with my prospective fiancée.

Oh, you're perfect.

Mm.

Wait.

I love you.

( exhales )

I love you, too.

But I think you should
take the job at Mass General.

I didn't say
it was Mass General.

You didn't have to,
'cause I knew.

'Cause I made
the arrangements

because I love you

and I want you to have
the future you deserve.

And it's not me.

You don't want me?

Someday you will realize

that I just did
a very nice thing for you.

I've been thinking
a lot about Jackie.

That could be
a dangerous thing.

I'll test her fluids,

track her progress,

maybe provide
a little bedside manner,

but all that other stuff...

the cleaning,
the dead bodies...

I'm not supervising that.

Jackie's actions
have consequences.

So do mine.

This is not
how I treat people.

I can't do what I do
without caring.

I'm not a doctor.

Can we ease up
a little, please?

Could I have a word
with you, please?

In private?

Coop just gave me
his two weeks' notice.

Wow, I'm sorry
to hear that.

He said he had
a conversation with you

that was
a real eye-opener.

Did you tell him your little tale
about the Icelandic condominiums?

Norwegian?
No, I did not.

- Did he say I did?
- No.

Did you ask him?

No, I didn't want to
spread any unfounded rumors.

Well, then I guess
you'll never know.

Being here,
having no impact,

I understand how hard
that can be for a person like you.

But hear me,
Jackie Peyton.

You are a nonfactor
in this hospital.

( sighs )

( soft music playing )

That's a lot
of old people.

Okay, let's go.

Hello, can we
play with you?

What are you,
some kind of dental technician?

Uh, nurse.

She got me
on my feet again.

Really, a nurse?

- Can you tell me what these are?
- Sure.

Uh, this is Vicodin,

and it expired
more than a month ago.

So I need to dispose
of this properly, okay?

So, everybody write down
all of your medications

and bring me a list
so I can assess

what's going on with each
of you, okay?

I will be back every Monday
to check on all of you.

Okay?

Is it true?

I have no idea.

This is scary.

How the fuck
do you plug this in?

How you doing?
How was your day?

Oh, I spent
the last three hours

at the Hasty Hills
Retirement Community

- of Queens.
- Mm.

Yeah, I answered all
their medical questions.

I listened
to six different

"how I got through
the war" stories.

I danced a bunch
of very slow polkas.

- And I came away with these.
- Oh.

Now all I want to do
is eat them.

No, you mean sell them.

( groans )

I think I had
a better day than you.

- Come.
- Do I have to get up?

Yes.

I got a job.

- You did?
- Yes.

That's great.

You are looking at the new
Upper East Side rep

for Illyria.

Pain management
without all that pesky constipation.

You're a pharma-babe?

Yeah, don't I
have the look?

And remind me
to go to a meeting in the morning.

Sure thing, but first
we have to call your drug dealer.

Yeah.
( inhales )

So, is there anything
I should know about this guy?

Who, Gabe? No.

He's surprisingly easygoing
for a drug dealer.

Well, in my experience,
that's not uncommon.

In your...
Your vast experience?

I peddled herb
in college, you know.

"Herb"?

Well, pleasure
doing business with you.

The pleasure's mine.

You look great, Jackie.

Ah, thank you.

You've got this
really awesome glow.

Mm.

Why are you
talking like that?

Gabe has never
seen me sober, that's all.

Sober Jackie.
I'd be down.

Excuse me?

Oh, Jackie and I had
a little fun in the day.

Oh, what...
What kind of fun?

Let's go, Eddie.
It's time to go.

No, I don't think so.
What kind of fun, man?

Jackie, tell
the old man to simmer.

No, why don't you
tell the old man to simmer, asshole?

- Simmer.
- He's a dumb kid, Eddie. Stop it.

Well, she didn't think
I was so dumb

when she was
swinging on my jock.

Really, motherfucker?

- Here, get out of the car.
- Jesus, Eddie, stop.

Get the fuck out of the car,
buddy, come on.

- Stop it!
- Fucking punk!

Fucking sober people
are nuts!

You don't fucking
know nuts, motherfucker!

Eddie, he's a friend, stop.

- Not anymore, I'm not!
- You fucking bitch!

Fuck you, fucking trick!

Oh, my God.
Jesus, what the fuck, Eddie?

No, what the fuck,
Jackie?!