Nurse Jackie (2009–2015): Season 7, Episode 3 - Godfathering - full transcript

Previously
on "Nurse Jackie"...

Gloria: That was a shitload of pills
Jackie got arrested with.

- Where do you suppose she got them?
- I don't know.

Let's see who's laughing
after I ask you

to provide me
with a complete inventory.

Akalitus put you
on the security watchlist.

She's very serious.

Well, I'm serious, too.
My lawyer is a pit bull.

I don't have anybody else to sell to.
I need money for my lawyer.

Where'd you score them?

From this elderly woman
that I take care of.



What do you think about
you selling this place

and we get a bigger place
for the three of us?

A career nurse
pressured to leave

by a deceptive ultimatum
from her supervisor,

one Gloria Akalitus.

I am fully prepared
to go for a jury trial

and pursue punitive damages
for this mistreated caregiver.

Don't celebrate
too soon, Jackie.

Diversion
is gonna be hell.

You may not
touch patients,

and just so nobody
mistakes you for a real nurse,

- lose the blue scrubs.
- Deal.

( theme music playing )

( man vocalizing )



( gasps )
Jesus.

Fuck, why are you
so close to my face?

Mm, you do this little thing
with your mouth.

Oh, Eddie, I love you.
Do not watch me when I sleep.

( inhales deeply )

You love me, huh?

Yes, I love you. If you move your face
back six inches that way,

I'm gonna love you
a lot more.

( groans )

( groans )

Oh.

You okay?

Yeah, yeah,
this is fine.

It's when I get up,
everything starts to fall apart.

Mm, then stay in bed.

( chuckles )

Oh, fuck me.
I'm gonna be late for church.

God damn it.

( church bells ringing )

Pastor: God bless you.
Bless you.

Bless you.

Thank you so much.
I'll see you next week.

Thank you so much.

- So good to see you.
- Good to see you.

It was beautiful.

First one in,
last one out.

She wants to get a good seat
where everybody can see her.

Mm, Vivian's
in such good spirits.

You've really worked
miracles with her.

Oh, she's a great lady,
and that was a great sermon.

Oh.

- Peace be with you.
- And also with you.

Paramedic: Male, 40s, fell off
some scaffolding.

Multiple contusions,
BP is 85/50.

- That's a lot of blood.
- What's your name?

Uh, Rick.
Is... is my wife here?

Let's get two units
of O neg.

Yep, Thor, can you
get a hold of his wife?

Hey, Rick, your wife is on the way.
Can you hear us?

Yes.
Yeah, thank you.

- My name is Jackie.
- Thank you, Jackie.

Uh, what is she...
What are we... are we...

You're gonna be fine.
Your vitals are good,

considering you just fell off
the side of a building.

So, on your count?

- Can she be in here?
- Can you be in here?

Yeah, I think so.

Fine, oh, okay.
Uh, on my count.

One, two, three.

You have a suspended
nursing license.

There is no reason that
you should be in trauma, ever.

Not even
for a gurney transfer?

We have people for that.

Is everyone clear?

We are clear. Should we move
this meeting to your office?

No, we should not.

Okay, so I will stay out of trauma.
Anything else?

And you should be at least 25 feet
from the pharmacy door,

no dispensing medication
or touching patients.

Okay, I have read
the rules of diversion,

but thank you
for clarifying.

I'll clarify it every day.

Can I help you,
Dr. Cooper?

Oh, no, I thought
something good was happening.

I don't like
being left out.

Nothing good here.

How's your patient?

Stable and happy
to be alive.

A lot of blood, though.

Now here's
something you can do.

Clean this place up.

( Matt singing )
♪ Don't tell me about your troubles ♪

♪ Don't tell me
about your tears ♪

- ♪ Don't tell me about the worries... ♪
- Matt?

- ♪ That you know...♪
- Matt?

I need a mop.

Radio: ♪ ...in your suitcase,
honey, dear ♪

♪ And I'm gonna feel much
better when you're gone... ♪

Fresh mop for a fresh
nursing assistant.

I am still not going
to see your band.

( Matt sings )
♪ 'Cause I'm packin' up my heartache... ♪

Excuse me,
are you a nurse?

Um, how can I help you?

My mom, her stomach's
killing her.

I'm sorry to bother you, but how much
longer do you think we have to wait?

How long has the pain
been this bad?

It woke me up
last night.

It's... ( whimpers )

I'm sorry, I can't...

She can barely talk,
it hurts so much.

And what's
your mom's name?

Susan Kim.

( exhales sharply )

Susan Kim?

Wear the Dunks, please.

What you wear signals
something to others, Zoey.

I think speed and comfort
are two very good signals.

I want to be very clear,
and to that end

one of the rules
of diversion for Jackie

is that she will have
a designated monitor.

That must be
very hard for you

on top of everything
else you're doing.

Oh, I'm not gonna be
the one monitoring her, you are.

Run down this checklist
of everything

she has to comply with
on a daily basis and then...

Quick question,
is Jackie still a nurse?

She is a nursing assistant.

So we're pretending she doesn't
know anything. Got it.

Do I have to comply?

With all the shit work I'm gonna
throw her way, Jackie won't last a week.

Okay.

This is all feeling
very weird and personal.

Of course
it's personal, Zoey.

It should be personal
for you, too.

Can Jackie
hold things for me?

As long as it's not
a patient or a narcotic.

That is what I...
She said...

Does it have to be me?

How's school?

I'm still waiting
to hear if I got in,

which means
I probably didn't.

Well, they'd be crazy
not to accept you.

Jackie, I'm collecting
your urine.

You don't need
to bolster me.

( ringtone plays )

Do you want me
to turn on the water?

( ringtone plays )

Zoey, I don't want this
to be awkward

and I understand that you're just
doing what you need to do,

and I respect that,

but, uh, would you
please answer your phone?

Sorry, I don't know
who it is that's calling me.

Go ahead, answer it.

I cannot leave
the collection site

until the sample is filled,
sealed, and labeled.

Well, I cannot pee
with you staring at me.

Can you turn around?

I can't.

I would if I could,

but I'm not allowed to.

Oh, so we wait.

( sighs )

And you're
on linens today.

Strip the beds, make the beds,
dispose of anything soiled.

Just to be clear.

Very clear.
Sounds great.

See, there's a two-story foyer
that overlooks the fireplace.

Cozy.

Well, cozy means small.
This place is huge.

We looked at 15 houses.
This is the only one she liked.

I got an offer pending.

I'm not gonna tell her
till I got the keys in my hands.

So the surprise pregnancy
wasn't stressful enough, huh?

It's romantic,

and it'll be
a short escrow.

Cash offer,
above asking.

Mazel tov, Coop.

Now...

( imitating Marlon Brando )
I wanna make you an offer

you aren't going to refuse.

My kid
needs a godfather.

You sound like
a French vampire.

Look, I'm flattered,
Coop, but I don't know.

( normal voice )
It's not like you have to do anything.

I'm gonna live forever.
Come on.

( imitating Marlon Brando )
Godfather Eddie.

( imitating Marlon Brando ) A man who
doesn't spend time with his family...

something something
something.

May your first child
be a boy.

In Sicily, women are
more dangerous than shotguns.

( normal voice )
No, that's not right.

( imitation continues )
Yeah, the whole...

Check out Cinderella.

It's depressing watching her
push around laundry and garbage.

Have you talked to her
since she's been back?

Uh, no. Not really.

Laundry's that way.

Oh, fuck, it is?

I'll draw you a map.

I been working here
for over 20 years,

I'm still getting lost
in the fucking basement.

Jackie, these
are the bowels.

This is where
all the shit happens.

I've slept down here.

Ah, do you have a home?

Yes.

And a girlfriend,
just so we get that out of the way.

Don't want anything
to be weird.

Are you into
urban camping?

- Public sleeping?
- Uh, no. I like a bedroom.

See, I heard you like
breaking the rules.

( chuckles )
Yeah, no, not anymore.

Is somebody smoking?

I think if someone
were smoking down here,

I'd know about it.

Want one?

I feel like
it's my fault.

( clicks tongue )
It's not.

I had a miscarriage
right before I got pregnant with Grace.

You're fine.
You are so young.

I am so young, right?

Uh...

honestly,
I'm relieved.

You're not ready to have a kid.
It's good to know.

Does, uh, Coop know?

Mm-mm, no.
I can't tell him.

He's so excited.

It'll break his heart.

Well, the longer you wait,
the harder it's gonna be.

He's gonna smell the smoke.

Yeah.

This is
a disgusting habit.

I know.

I love it, too.

( laughs )

It's nice
to have her back.

Is it?
Why is that?

Um, yeah,
I just think it's...

Okay, we're back in junior high.
That's nice.

( monitor beeping )

How are you feeling?

It's terrible.

So, Dr. Cooper will be over
in a few minutes, Mrs. Kim.

- How's your pain?
- ( moans )

- She's a lot worse than when she got here.
- Thanks, I got it.

- My stomach.
- I understand. Let's get you started.

Put this under your tongue.

What are you doing?

I am not dealing
with the patients.

I'm straightening linens,
as instructed.

Do you have pain
anywhere other than your abdomen?

No.

Can you describe the pain,
when it started?

- This morning.
- Blue toes.

- Blue toes, blue toes.
- Dr. Cooper, blue toes.

Can you step back, please?

- Cyanosis?
- Probably, yes.

- Dr. Cooper?
- Right, sorry, your patient.

Zoey, I want
a bedside ultrasound.

- Chart?
- It's right here.

- Any recent medical procedures?
- Does liposuction count?

Uh-huh, major surgical
procedure definitely counts.

- ( groans )
- That hurts?

- Yeah.
- Mrs. Kim, you may have an embolism,

which means
you've thrown a clot.

And that can get
very serious very fast.

Luckily, your blue toes
are in good hands.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I don't hate you.

Sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry.

Oh, no, you just can't
be seen talking to me.

Thanks for understanding.

Excuse me,
do you sell cigarettes?

You starting
to smoke now?

Don't stand
too close to me.

Akalitus has a target
on my back.

Here, do gum.
Gum is great.

I need something
to take the edge off.

The only person
who talks to me like I'm normal

is Matt
the dungeon master.

Who the hell is that?

Yeah, exactly.

Maybe it's better
not to have friends at work.

Coop just asked me
to be the godfather for his kid.

I have
to say yes, right?

Oh, Jesus.
Poor Coop.

Oh, Coop
is not poor.

He just bought a surprise house.
Paid for it in cash.

Can he get
his money back?

I have
a question for you.

A man surprises you
with a house.

How does that go over?

First I'd be offended,
then I'd be thrilled.

Let me ask you something.

If I asked
for an inventory,

how long does it take one pharmacist
to put that together?

Jesus, Gloria,
mine was a game.

- She doesn't play games.
- That's true, I don't.

You'll have it today.

He just bought me
some gum.

Coop bought you a house.
You need to tell him.

Jackie, come on. Coop would not
buy a house without telling me.

- It's Coop.
- Oh, my God.

Look, I need to, like,
tell him in my own way.

I... are you trying
to look at my chart?

I... no.

Are you allowed
to touch charts?

I would like
to help somebody today.

Well, I don't need
your help, Jackie.

No, thank you so much.

Uh, it's just been a hard day
to have a conversation around here.

Yes, I understand,
thank you.

Uh, I'm sorry,
I'm gonna have to call you back.

Something terrible's
about to happen.

( screams )

( shuddering breaths )
I have to watch her pee.

Who?

Jackie.

What are you doing?

My blood sugar's
a little high.

Can I stay
in here with you?

- We don't have to talk.
- Mm-hmm.

( breathing deeply )

You know how stressful it is to watch
somebody that you admire pee in a cup?

I don't even know
what to say afterwards.

"Thank you," "I'm sorry."

( whispers )
"Go fuck yourself."

Just take the pee
and leave, Zoey.

I got into
my master's program.

They gave me
a huge scholarship.

Well, that's terrible.

Stop it.
( laughs )

I used to like
coming to work.

Now I have to pep-talk myself
all the way here.

I walk four extra blocks
just to calm myself down.

This is
workplace stress, right?

This is workplace stress.

Come with me.

No, what if
she's out there?

I'll hide you.
Walk behind me.

Hey, what are you
doing later?

Working.

Want to go for a drive?

Where?

( singsongy )
It's a surprise.

( singsongy )
I don't like surprises.

Everybody
likes surprises.

No, everyone does not.
Surprises are very polarizing.

Dr. Roman, um,
excuse me.

Hey, Jackie, we're kind of
in the middle of something.

Um, yes, Dr. Roman,
I'm sorry to bother you.

Can I bum
another cigarette?

- ( laughs )
- I'm having a rough day.

Carrie doesn't smoke.
She's pregnant.

You can keep 'em.
I bought a carton.

Thank you.

I'm okay.

Um...

miscarriages, especially
in the first trimester,

are very, very common.

I'm so sad.

Yeah, I know.

I didn't
want to tell you.

- You smell like smoke.
- Yeah.

Hold your breath.

- ( gasping )
- ( monitor beeping rapidly )

Let's get her into trauma.
Jackie, we need to move now.

( heart monitor
beeping slowly )

- Cooper: Give me some O neg.
- Carrie: What happened?

( voices echoing )

( monitor flatlining )

I am so sorry
for your loss.

Oh, my God,
I need to call my dad.

I can take her.

No, that's all right.
I'll take her.

We're just, uh,
waiting for a transpo.

Yeah, that's me.
I'll take it from here.

This girl
needs a Xanax.

What?
No, I don't.

Everyone pops a Xanax
every now and then.

I take one
before I call my mother.

We have
a great relationship.

I'm happy to help.

Okay.

I'll take a half.

Or maybe a quarter.
I don't know.

I should try it
on my day off.

I think this is making
me more stressed out.

That needs to go
in a medication cup.

Oh, it's not for a patient.
It's for me.

You gave Zoey a Xanax
without a prescription?

Take it easy on Zoey.

Being Jackie's monitor
is no walk in the park.

You're fired,
effective immediately.

You're firing me
over one Xanax.

What do you think?

I think you're gunning
to fire somebody today,

and if it can't be Jackie,
it might as well be me.

Where's my inventory?

I don't work here anymore.
Do your own inventory.

You've had your hand
in all sorts of shit.

You and I both know
that you ought to walk

out of my hospital right now
and never look back.

Consider yourself
very lucky.

Back to work.

Race ya!

Oh.

Oh, I get it.
You really like this job.

I love it.

Honestly, I could
do this forever.

Yeah, I couldn't.

This woman here,
I could have done something more for her.

I'm not supposed
to be down here.

- No offense.
- Oh, none taken.

You're a nurse.
It's different.

You'll probably be devastated
when this place closes.

Well, All Saints'll
be around forever.

I don't think so, man.

I love my job, but I also love my band,
my foster cats.

Well, Matt, this place'll
be around long after

you and I are both gone.

Oh, no, it won't.

I was cleaning up after this
big-time meeting up in HR.

All Saints
is about to be sold

to a group
of Norwegian developers.

Postengruppen.

- Something Gruppen.
- Are you kidding me?

Good-bye, All Saints.
Hello, luxury condos.

Well, when were they
gonna tell us?

Seems pretty
hush-hush for now.

Sometimes it pays
to be invisible.

( Matt singing )
♪ 'Cause I'm packing up my heartaches ♪

♪ In a suitcase,
honey, dear ♪

♪ And I'll feel a whole lot better
when you're gone... ♪

What's the face for?
What's the matter?

Everything's the matter.
Everything's totally out of control.

Can I stand next to you?

Oh, absolutely.

Where are you going?

Akalitus fired me.
It's fine.

Hey, listen,
you're fine.

Just keep going.

So, I'll see you
later at my place?

Yeah, I'll see you later.

( music playing )

♪ But don't tell me
about your troubles ♪

♪ Don't tell me
about your tears ♪

♪ Don't tell me about
the worries that you know ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm packing up my heartaches
in your suitcase, honey, dear ♪

♪ And I'm gonna feel much
better when you're gone. ♪