Nip/Tuck (2003–2010): Season 4, Episode 8 - Conor McNamara - full transcript

Previously on Nip / Tuck...

The worst thing you can do for your son
is tip-toe around his condition.

Luckily, it looks like we're gonna be
able to reconstruct his hands

with a series of surgeries.

We feel it's his best chance
to live a normal life.

Mrs. Grubman, you have
a plastic surgery addiction problem.

Holy shit, she's in V-fib.

Come on. You're not gonna
die on me, you crazy bitch.

Fix my face.

This time I can't. I'm sorry.

Just for old time's sake, tell me what
you don't like about yourself.



Dr. Troy...

Can I answer that one?

'Cause there are a few things I don't
like about Driving Miss Crazy here.

No, you can't answer that, Evetta.

If I wanted someone with an opinion,
I'd have hired Star Jones.

Well, let's see Star Jones wipe your ass
and change your Depends for $12 an hour.

Well, maybe if you learned to cook, I
wouldn't have diarrhea all the time.

I see the speech therapy's coming along
quite well, Mrs. G.

It had to, it's my only defense against
the verbal onslaught.

But it has been a long recovery, Dr. Troy.

A long recovery.

I couldn't stand that convalescent home
another day,

so I moved home and hired Evetta
for around-the-clock assistance.

I've been in seclusion
for almost two years.



I know. I tried to stop by and they said

you didn't wanna see me.

Now, don't take it personally, doll,
I haven't seen anyone.

I was so depressed about how I looked,

I wouldn't even let my own daughter
visit me.

You see, Dr. Troy,
I was preparing for my triumphant return.

Now, the goal was to re-emerge

at a gala affair attended by
everybody who's anybody in Miami.

And the final step before my coming out

was a visit here for a few
refresher operations.

Was? Why the past tense?

Well, there may not be time
for a party any longer, Dr. Troy.

You see, a few days ago,

I found out that I have
stage 4 lung cancer.

It has metastasized to
my bones and my liver.

There's nothing they can do.

The Grim Reaper could ask me for
a final samba at any moment.

Mrs. Grubman,

I'm very sorry.

Oh, don't be. I've accepted it.

But time is of the essence.

So, I'll need the surgeries right away.

You must be insane, Mrs. Grubman.

The stress of an invasive procedure
would be too much for you right now.

Yeah, I thought you might say that.
So we'll move on to Plan B.

You'll perform the operations after I die.

We'll make my coming out party
my funeral.

I'll be the best looking corpse
since Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Although she'd never fit into
the size two I'll be wearing in my casket.

Zsa Zsa's dead?

Not officially.

That was a good one, shitpants.

I'll need to suck 60 pounds out of you
to get you into a size 2 dress.

What do I care? I'll be dead.

Mrs. Grubman,

I'm your plastic surgeon.
I won't be your undertaker.

There is not an undertaker in Miami

who has an ounce
of your artistic talent, Dr. Troy.

My body is your canvas.

And I want you
to be the last man to touch it.

Hey.

I don't want to interrupt, I just...

Never mind. Have a great weekend.

What did you wanna say?

Well, I was just thinking,
how far you've come.

It's impressive.

Motherhood becomes you, Julia.

See you guys on Monday.

Have a lovely weekend.

You okay? You got in so late last night.

I was over at the anatomy lab
practicing digital nerve dissections.

I haven't done one since med school.

You've been dissecting fingers?

Do you use baby body parts?

See, this is why we shouldn't get into it.

I can't deal with you overreacting
to fetal cadavers.

You're the one who's overreacting, Sean.

You know, I mean, really,
if it were any other surgeon,

I would have a chance to ask questions.

As it is, everything I say
just seems to stress you out.

I'm just focused.

I'm trying to anticipate any and every
possible complication for our son.

That's a good thing, isn't it?

Yeah, of course. And I'm proud of you.

We're very lucky.

I mean, think of all the families who
don't have the talent or the money

to do what we're doing.

There is no money for it, Kathleen.

It's a vanity operation
and we can't afford it.

He's just going to have to toughen up.

We've got $5,000 saved, Tom.

Oh, that's brilliant, Kathleen.

Brilliant. It's his college fund.

You'd rather be the picture-perfect pretty
boy stocking shelves at the Tru Value?

No education, no prospects.

That's what she wants.
Is that what you want?

That's you in a nutshell.
Teach him to take the easy road.

No goddamn priorities.

This isn't about me!

He's being taunted and humiliated,
and he is suffering!

I love him too much to stand by
and do nothing.

And I don't love my son?
Is that where you're taking this?

Did I do this right, Dad?

I don't want you to think
that I'm not supportive.

No, you're right, Jules.
We're all incredibly lucky.

And I promise,
I'll schedule a sit-down at the office

and you can ask
all the questions you want.

Take the morning for yourself,
you deserve it.

I'll take the kids out for pancakes.

Thank you.

Sit here with your brother, honey,
while I put our name down.

You should try holding up
a little fish and see if he'll grab it.

- What?
- Leave him alone, Morgan.

He looks like a crab, Dad.
Here, baby, want a sardine?

Please don't make fun of my son's hands.

How would you like it if I teased you
about your pig nose, huh?

Or those chubby cheeks?
How would you like that?

Hey, take it easy, buddy. He's just a kid.

He's making fun of a handicap.

Maybe if you got your nose out of that
newspaper and paid him some attention,

he wouldn't be such a little asshole.

Don't call my son an asshole,

or your kids are gonna see
their old man get his ass kicked.

Daddy!

Your son's an asshole. But not
half as big an asshole as his father.

Let's go, honey, come on.

- Thanks for coming, Dr. Troy.
- How is she?

I told you, she stopped eating.
You gotta do something.

I gave her an IV
and she pulled it out of her arm.

That bitch has a death wish.

I know they're gonna claim elder abuse
when she finally kicks it.

- Why would they do that?
- Two priors, honey.

I got caught lifting a Gucci handbag

and slapped a cop
when he tried to fondle my sexy booty.

Nobody's going to blame you
for negligence, Evetta.

You're probably the only reason
she's still alive.

Just don't let her die, okay?

Slightly different circumstances
from when you were last here, Dr. Troy.

Though it doesn't have to be.

How about sending me out of this world
with a smile on my face?

- Why aren't you eating, Mrs. Grubman?
- I don't have time to eat.

There's too much work to do
on this funeral.

And the seating chart alone
has taken me four hours.

Blaine Trump's gonna need
a shoulder to cry on.

I'll just sit her right up front, next to you.

You're giving up, Mrs. Grubman.

That isn't like you.

I told you, I've had a wonderful life,
with only two regrets.

That I didn't sleep with you
when I had the chance,

and that I never got to sing
at the Rainbow Room.

The Rainbow Room?
Don't you have to be able to sing for that?

Listen to my demo on your way home,
you'll see.

I was gonna be Burt Bacharach's girl
before he picked Dionne Warwick.

And then I met my Marvin
and everything changed.

But you'll hear all the stories
at the funeral.

If you don't start eating, I won't be there.

You have to. You're slated to speak
right after Dominick Dunne.

I won't be a part of this.

If you wanna starve yourself to death

just to be a better-looking corpse,
find someone else to do your dirty work.

These last two years
have been so lonely, you know?

Oh, I know it's my own fault,
I pushed everyone away.

Evetta does a great job,
she really tries hard to cheer me up.

I like having her around.

She fights back. Like you.

Shit, my Maybelline's running.
Hand me a tissue, would you?

Thank you.

I'm sorry I didn't come visit you
more often.

Oh, please. You should be out there
playing the field, Dr. Troy,

finding yourself the first in a series
of 24-year-old trophy wives.

Tell you what, I'll make you a deal.

For a spoonful of soup today,
I'll give you a Botox shot tomorrow.

I am kind of hungry.

I love you, you know.

You know what? Let him sue me.
It was worth it. Sick asshole.

Just say it, you think I should
go back to anger management. What?

What really concerns me, Sean,
is what all this intensity is about.

You didn't hear him being mocked
in front of a dozen strangers,

in front of Annie.

All I knew in that moment was that

people like them would be tormenting
my son for the rest of his life.

I had to do something.

You are doing something.
You're doing his surgery.

For now, just promise me you'll talk
to this Mr. Thompson.

Apologize to him, so that we don't have
to deal with the headache of a lawsuit.

Will you do that?

I'm also gonna call Dr. Mugavi
and move up the surgery.

There's no reason to wait.
I'll be ready to go in two weeks.

But he's still so little.

The sooner I do this surgery,
the sooner he can begin developing

the coordination and function in his hands.
It's all he's gonna have.

Who are you doing this for, Sean?
You or Conor?

You stay right there.

Holy cow.

This one looks like it's out of here!

He's rounding third,
it's a race for the plate.

It's a home run!

When can I sign up for Little League, Dad?

Gee, thanks, buddy.
I come out here, play ball with you

and that's what you've got to say?

No,

I really like playing with you, it's just...
I just wanna play a real game.

You and your mother.

The kids'll laugh at you
and the coach'll keep you on the bench,

then stick you out in right field
for the last inning.

Oh, and they'll shove you in the back
for the team photo.

Is that what you want?

What are you doing here?

I called your house,
your wife told me you'd be here.

You have a moment to talk,
Mr. Thompson?

- I'm sorry I hit you.
- Yeah, I bet you are.

'Cause it's gonna cost you, McNamara.

I got 20 witnesses
that will swear to what they saw.

I never should have erupted like I did.

I just... My son...

He's about to have an operation
on his hands.

You humiliated me in front of my boy.

Looks like you two are working through it.

Yeah.

I had to explain to him
that what I did was wrong,

what he did was wrong,
and what you did was really, really wrong.

I think... I think he gets it now.

- What position does he play?
- Shortstop.

I mean, he's a little slower than
the other kids,

but he did turn a double-play last night.
It won them the game.

Every kid should have a moment like that.

A walk-off home run, a buzzer beater.

It's all I want for Conor.

He may never get that chance,
but all I want is for him to be normal.

Look, do what you gotta do
with the lawsuit.

I just wanted to apologize
for what I did and what I said.

These webbed fingers
are known as syndactyly.

There are actually two fingers inside here.

We do a syndactyly release
on the index and middle finger,

and another one
between the ring and the pinky.

And what kind of complications
could arise?

Oh, I'm so sorry I'm late.
There was this accident on the Causeway.

Marlowe's going to be involved
in Conor's care, so I asked him to join us.

Please, I'm sorry, don't mind me.
Please continue.

Let me get you a chair.

The main complication that could arise

is that the vessel or the nerve
could be damaged in the process.

Will you have to do a skin graft?

The short answer is yes, Julia, but...

Is that a very invasive procedure?
Will there be a lot of pain?

He'll be under anesthesia.

I was talking about his recovery.

We're pretty good with pain management.

Which brings us to the thumb distraction.

Now, we plan to turn this small
suggestion of a digit into a real thumb.

We make an incision in the thumb,

dissect the bone and apply
a distraction osteogenesis device.

It has little pins and screws
that go into the bone.

We sew the thumb back up
and over the next weeks,

we slowly turn the screws
and they basically stretch the bone.

Who turns these screws
over the next few weeks?

You do.

We've found that the pain level
is minimal to next to nothing

when the parents are the ones
to turn them.

How do you measure those pain levels,
if I may ask?

Oh, we doctors, we've got
all kinds of tricks up our sleeves.

That was a reasonable question, Christian.

Well, I'm only asking because according
to the research I've been reading,

the traditional ways of measuring
infant pain, tears and brain activity,

it's just not as conclusive
as we wish it was.

Are you aware of the expertise, mastery
and professional status

that's gathered in this room?

With all due respect,
Julia asked me to be here today

to bring up some of these issues.
In other words, I'm doing my job.

I'm sorry if that knocks anyone's nose
out of joint.

So, what is this research, Marlowe?

Some well-respected developmental
psychologists have done hypnoses

on a pretty large group of adults
who had surgery at an early age.

They all tend to have similar symptoms,

nervous system disorders,
digestive problems, debilitating phobia

and panic attacks.

Are you aware of this, Sean?

I scheduled this meeting so you could
meet Dr. Mugavi

and ask specific questions
about the surgery.

I think the whole New Age
healing modality type of conversation

is better suited to the dinner table.

Well, in that case,
I'm gonna go home and make dinner

so that I can have that conversation.

Dr. Mugavi, Christian, feel free to join us.

Well, look at you two!

Burberry never looked so good
on Kate Moss.

Oh, you like it?
I had Evetta pick it up for me at Neiman's.

And she's lucky I made her wear a bib
at breakfast.

Otherwise, it'd have been covered in
strawberry crepe shit.

I also wore a huge hat,
so no one would recognize me.

But you were right, Dr. Troy,
not eating was a silly thing to do.

Oh, we had the most wonderful brunch
this morning at Restaurant St. Michel.

Eating out in public? That's fantastic.

Baby, it was like opening the gates to hell.

Anything on the menu with cheese,
beef, or cream in it,

Fatty Belt-Buckles had to have two.

Well, look who's talking.
I never saw anyone order

lobster and a chocolate milkshake
for breakfast before.

I figured if the old goat's gonna be
spending my inheritance,

I'm gonna enjoy it.

Though maybe I should've stopped with
the milkshake.

We can get you some liposuction, Evetta,
if you're worried about your weight.

I was talking about my heartburn, dummy.

I don't need no Hoover vacuum
stealing my ass.

Where I come from, I don't get lipo
to attract a man,

I eat another cherry pie and put more junk
in my trunk, know what I'm saying?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.

Drum up your work with some
pitiful, self-hating creature, Dr. Troy.

Not me, okay?
I love myself. Every pound of it.

Go read a magazine in the lobby, Evetta.

I hear the new issue of Essence is here.

Yeah, I'll go read my Essence. I was tired
of talking to the two of you, anyway.

And stop shutting me up.
Always trying to get sucked and tucked,

that's what's wrong with your
crazy ass now.

I should go talk to her.

Oh, she'll be all right.
She's a spitfire though, huh?

Oh, breakfast was fun.
And thank God no one recognized me.

Well, after a few shots of Botox,
the old Mrs. Grubman will reappear.

A shot of Botox is the elixir of life,
Dr. Troy.

It's getting out in public
and seeing people again

that makes you feel good, Mrs. Grubman.

Oh, Mrs. Grubman.

- Julia...
- Listen to this.

"I saw these masked giants hovering
over me,

"the cold harsh light was in my eyes.

"Someone came toward me
with a black mask

"that had this smell and it made me sick.

"When I woke up, I started to vomit.

"A stranger shoved a huge teddy bear
at me, the eyes were terrifying. "

This memory is from
when he was seven months old.

It's the book you gave me.

Julia, I'm sorry.

I should've thought more carefully
about what I was doing.

But I'm so grateful to you.

You know, I knew these things
instinctively, I just hadn't articulated it.

A baby responds to surgery
as if he's dying,

because he has no understanding
of what's happening to him.

Julia, listen to me...

We have to convince Sean
to postpone the surgery.

You know, at least until Conor's older,
you know?

So we can prepare him for it.

I'm not gonna sign
the surgery consent form.

Okay, but before you make any decisions,

let me tell you what I've decided.
I'm leaving.

You're what?

I don't...
I don't know how it ended up like this,

but it's clear that I've become
a disruptive influence in this household.

And that's not good for anyone,
especially not Conor.

Do you know the difference between
a surgeon and God?

God doesn't think he's a surgeon.

Now, I need you to stay,
to help me through this.

You're my rock.
I can't go through this alone.

You underestimate
how powerful you are, Julia.

And these books,
they have concrete suggestions

on how to help Conor through this.

It won't be the end of the world.

I can't... I just...

The thought of waking up
tomorrow and not seeing you...

You'll... You'll get through this.

You're a really good mother.

That's why I have to leave.

Thought I'd give you a hand today.

She's dead, Christian.

She's not gonna catch anything.

It's her last time in the saddle, Sean.

Might as well give her the full treatment.

Okay.

Linda told me you're doing the eulogy
at her funeral.

Yeah, but I'm struggling with
what I'm gonna say.

All Miami's gonna be there.
She sent out engraved invitations.

All I can think of is,

"Here lies a woman
who was so busy looking in the mirror

"and feeling she wasn't good enough
that she missed her life. "

She could have had a singing career,
did you know that?

I didn't know much about her besides
her desperate, overbearing personality.

Yeah, she wasn't such a bad egg.

But I'd certainly feel more comfortable

if I could stand up there
knowing that my contribution to her life

was a little more positive.

I feel like her drug-dealer.

You can't think like that.

I seem to recall a diatribe by you only
a few months ago about how we were

contributing to a society that was
obsessed with physical perfection.

At the moment, I'm grateful for
every single surgery

that's given me the skill
to make my son whole.

What if you couldn't fix Conor?

What if you couldn't make him
as close to perfect as possible?

How would that make you feel?

Have you been talking to my wife?

All I'm getting from
the people around me lately

is this touchy-feely
negative psychobabble.

Whoa, killer, it's not me you're mad at.

Maybe you should take the afternoon off.

Go home, make peace with your wife.

Besides, I could use the alone time
with Grubman to work out my eulogy.

Would you mind
changing the music, Linda?

Gangsta rap just doesn't seem like
the right choice for Mrs. Grubman.

I brought something. It's over there.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mrs. Grubman.

Thanks, Burt.

Don't forget your glove, Sean.

Go on, it's after 4:00, you're gonna miss it.

What'll I do if they laugh at me?

They're fools if they laugh,
and who cares what fools think?

- Dad's gonna be mad.
- I'll handle Dad, honey.

Now go on.

What're you doing home so early?

- Are you all right?
- I'm fine.

- We need to talk.
- Yes, Sean, we do.

I'm not ready to sign the consent form.

I know.

I know I've been kind of a madman lately,
I've been so obsessed with

making things perfect for Conor's surgery

and I see how counterproductive
that's been and unfair to you.

There are things that...

That I've never told you.

- About the surgery?
- No. About me.

What's he doing here?

- Am I too late?
- No. No, your timing's perfect.

Did you bring a signed consent form?
One of these?

Yeah, right here.

Great. Okay, next.
All right, stand on the line.

I'm gonna give you a count, give me
a good home run. Boom, pow. All right?

Home run, one, two.

Okay, get the next one in.

You wanna lower your arm a little bit?
Let me see some more face. How about it?

When did you have the surgery?
Who paid for it?

I was 8.

My mother used the college money,
we did it behind my dad's back.

Lucky for everyone I was a good student
and qualified for financial aid.

But he never forgave her.

He left a few months later.

That's why he left you guys?

It always seemed such a mystery to me.

I think he felt like he lost control
of the family. I guess we

pushed him out.

My mom worked two jobs to support us.

I just don't understand
why you didn't tell me.

'Cause I put that pathetic kid behind me.

No, you didn't.

That kid is why you're a plastic surgeon.

Why did you have to keep it a secret?

I couldn't let you see me
as that pathetic, ugly kid.

I was afraid that's all you'd ever see.

And in so many ways that little kid

is who I fell in love with.

Only because you never saw him.

Where is everyone, Evetta?

I guess they had better things to do.

Didn't you send out
all the invitations for her?

Every single one.

Maybe her address book was out of date
or something.

Her daughter, Claire?

She couldn't find the time to come to
her mother's funeral?

Claire called the house, said that her
mother died for her almost two years ago,

when she stopped seeing her
after she had the stroke.

Said that when she chose
vanity over family,

it was too much for her to handle.

Did you hear
what she put on her headstone?

"I came, I saw, I conga'd. "

Oh, Grubby, we did have
some fun times together.

Too bad you screwed me in your will.

Yeah, all I got was
a few old-lady muumuus.

I guess she thought I meant it
when I told her I liked them.

Either that or her last joke's on me.

Which I guess it is anyway.

Okay, well, I gotta go find a new job.

I'll see you next week, Dr. Troy.

Next week. What... What's next week?

Oh, I made an appointment
at McNamara/Troy.

Since she left you everything, I'm
at least gonna get some free lipo out of it.

She left me all her money?

You didn't hear? It's in her will.

She put it all in
the Hedda Grubman Plastic Surgery Fund.

For people that need a little work
but don't wanna pay for it.

I'm here to pay respects to
Hedda Grubman.

Her life was like that of any other,

filled with accomplishments
that should be exalted,

and regrets that should be learned from.

Her wit and candor...

This is bullshit.

The truth is, Mrs. Grubman,
you were a huge pain in the ass.

Pretty much everybody hated you.

It's no wonder they boycotted
your funeral.

You were obsessed with your looks
and plastic surgery

and in the end it cost you
every relationship you ever had.

But I know somewhere inside,

you meant well.

And you were funny, and honest,
and you stuck up for yourself.

I loved the fact
that you never let me off the hook.

Life was more interesting
with you in it, and...

And I'm gonna miss you.

And I love you, too.

Goodbye, Mrs. Grubman.

Marker.

Scissors and pickups.

Marlowe, my God, you have no idea
how glad I am to see you.

Saw.

Screwdriver.

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