Nip/Tuck (2003–2010): Season 4, Episode 9 - Liz Cruz - full transcript

Liz requests liposuction after feeling out of shape compared to her new, fitness-obsessed girlfriend.

Previously on Nip / Tuck...

Don't move.
Your kidney's been surgically removed.

There have been four of these thefts
in Miami.

The investigating officers think
an organized ring has moved into the area.

I need you to stay to help me through this.

I was an escort. She won't let me forget
where I came from.

What do you want? More money?

I don't want money. I want your skills.

All right.

Tell me what you don't like about yourself.

Just start at your head
and work your way down.



I just want a little lipo
and maybe some work around the eyes.

- Oh, yeah. That oughta do it.
- Shut up, Christian.

Look. Tell you the truth,
we're just a little surprised.

I mean, what happened
to the girl who believed

that real change could only come
from within?

You don't get points
for keeping it real anymore.

Beauty has its privileges and damn it,
I want them!

I always thought it was different
between women.

Yeah, well, maybe once upon a time.

But in this culture, trust me,
dykes today are the worst.

If you don't have the body
of a professional athlete,

then you are a loser.

Look, I almost died, okay? But I didn't.

I got a second chance
and I'm not gonna blow it by spending



the rest of my Saturday nights home,
eating Cherry Garcia.

- Couldn't the two of you just watch TV?
- Asshole.

And for your information,
my girlfriend happens to be in great shape.

Oh, I didn't know you were
seeing anybody! That's great, Liz.

I didn't read the news today.
Did hell freeze over?

Her name's Poppy,
and she's an anesthesiologist just like me.

- We've been going out for two weeks.
- Well, I don't get it, Liz. Why now?

When you've found someone who's
obviously attracted to you as you are?

I just think I'd be happier
if I looked a little better.

I think the whole world would be.

But don't you think it's a little risky

to put your body through another trauma
so soon after your surgery?

The anesthesia is the riskiest part
of the procedure, and guess what?

- I'm approving it.
- I agree with Christian, Liz.

Give yourself some time to heal,
maybe in a couple of months...

Gentlemen! In case you haven't noticed,
I, too, have a license to practice medicine.

Now, I could practice it here, or I could
practice it over at Mike Hamoui's,

who has offered me a permanent
staff position upon my recovery

from a state-of-the-art makeover,
which he has offered to me free of charge.

You're not seriously thinking of...

Come on, Lizzy. You know
you love us too much to leave us.

Try me.

Furthermore, I don't wanna hear
one more snide remark

about me, my girlfriend,
or my physical shortcomings.

I want the fat sucked out of me,
and I want it sucked out now.

Are you or are you not gonna do it?

Please.

No...

Classy touch, James.
Nothing sexier than a French whore.

Speaking of which,
I could use a little divertissement.

I've only sampled one tart
from your dessert tray,

and it left a lasting impression,

one that's proving
a little difficult to forget.

- I understand.
- I thought you might.

How's an hour and a half? Your place?

Top of the line, James.

I want her dazzling enough
to give my dick amnesia.

Dr. Troy, I'm certain that come morning,

Michelle will be the last thing
on your mind.

Oh, he just seems so uncomfortable,
doesn't he?

I mean, every time I tried to put him down,
he'd cry.

He just doesn't wanna let go of me.

It's probably just a reaction
from all the anesthesia.

And the fact that
he's been missing the nipple.

You know how that affects me.

- Good evening, all.
- Evening, Marlowe.

- How's our little guy doing tonight?
- He has just been miserable all day.

His coloring still seems
a little on the pale side.

All his vital signs
are perfectly within range.

Good blood flow to the fingertips.

A little soreness and swelling
around the incision,

which I'm sure accounts
for some of the fussiness.

But you are doing great.

Once we get these bandages off you,

you're gonna be better than ever.

He's making such a good recovery,
I'm thinking about calling Dr. Mugavi.

Move up the target date
for the operation on his other hand.

Would you like that, huh?

Get it all done as soon as possible? Yeah.

Why don't you let me take over
so you guys can go get a bite to eat?

I should've thought of this
before and called you.

I'm home a little earlier than usual,

and I haven't spent as much time with him
as I'd like.

Why don't you take the night off?
Go to the movies or something?

- Really? Are you sure because I could...
- No, go before he changes his mind.

You too, Jules.
Go to your Pilates class, get some air.

I mean, you've been stuck inside all day.

Conor and I will have a boys' night
here at the homestead.

A couple of six packs and the Dolphins.
How does that sound?

Okay. I'll see you guys tomorrow.

There's a D.K. Zhang retrospective
at the Thalia.

- Oh, God! I loved Nine Suns.
- I think that's what's playing tonight.

You should go, too, Jules.

No. You know, you've been working
all day, I wouldn't feel right about...

Oh, go.
When was the last time you saw a movie?

We'll be fine.

If he's unhappy, he gets to complain
to his daddy and his doctor. Have fun.

I love this film. He did the entire palette
in reds and yellows and oranges.

After I saw it for the first time,
that is the only colors I could paint with.

You know, Julia,
I can drive you home if you want.

- You seem a bit tense.
- No, no. It's just weird being out

after everything that happened, that's all.

You know,
people stare and you get used to it.

- Can I help you?
- Yes, you can.

Two for Nine Suns, please.

- Sorry.
- It's okay.

Thank you. Have a nice night.

After you.

Oh, I'm sorry. I just...
I can't do this. I can't...

- Marlowe, I am so sorry.
- No, no. It's my fault. I thought...

I have feelings for you, Julia.

And they're not like
anything I have ever felt before.

I have feelings for you, too, Marlowe.

It's just that, you know, I'm married,

and everything has been really stressful
with the baby and his recovery,

and I am just really confused
about everything right now.

What if you weren't married?

Come on. I'll drive you home.

Sweetheart, you're two hours late.
If you were a pizza, I'd get you for free.

That's because pizza gets cold.

Some things get hotter
the longer you wait for them.

May I come in?

You must have the wrong apartment.
I distinctly asked for something sweet.

I was going to send Campbell.
Or maybe Brianne. Then I thought, no.

Christian specifically requested
top of the line.

Honey, I'm not looking to bond,

so if you're here to cry boo-hoo
over Michelle and then cuddle...

Look at me, Christian.
Do I seem like the cuddly type?

- Then why are you here?
- Oh, don't be coy.

Glencullen. 21. Rare.

I'm impressed.

Go ahead, help yourself.

I'm sure I'll find another bottle
on my next trip to the Isle of Islay.

One of the heaviest and most challenging
in single malt regions.

Some love their complexity
and robustness,

and others find them unspeakably foul.

- Well, darling. Down the hatch.
- And up your snatch.

Let's face it, Christian.
Not every man can appreciate

the experience of a perfectly-aged,
single malt.

Smoky scent. Sweet and salty taste.

Where do you get the balls
to come on to me?

We're inevitable, you and I.

The same refined taste.

In scotch and in women.

- Don't you believe in fate?
- Only in Greek tragedy.

I believe in critical mass, in tipping points.

Tiny straws that can break camels' backs.

You've been trying to show me who's boss
for some time, haven't you?

Well, now's your chance.

Whatcha gonna do, hit me?

Whatcha gonna do, smash in my face?

You can't, can you? That's too bad.

But then that's what gives me the power.

The fact that I can.

I feel strange.

Michelle? We have an emergency.

I'm at Christian's apartment.
Come quickly.

It's a matter of life and death.

He's sweet when he's sleeping.

He knows who you are, James.

If we take his kidney,
he'll know it was you.

Why stop at one?

I wasn't planning on leaving him alive,
anyway. I'm not a fool.

I know two charming Asian gentlemen

who are absolute magicians
at making bodies disappear.

- You wouldn't do that. Not even you.
- It's harvest time, darling.

And I am under a lot of pressure.

I've been given 24 hours
to meet my quota.

You think I'm gonna let you get away
with murdering him? I'm not a killer.

No, but your hands aren't exactly
squeaky-clean now, are they?

- What do you want me to do?
- Find me a kidney.

In 21 hours.

And I will keep him from being
the next designated donor.

There's nothing human left in you,
is there?

I'm keeping him alive, aren't I? For you.

Tick-tock. Better hurry.

Well, let's see what all the fuss is about.

Impressive.

Perhaps another time.

When you're a little more up to it.

Trust me. In another week,
you won't even miss the caffeine.

Honey, the patient is supposed to sleep
through the surgery,

not the anesthesiologist.

Once we boost that metabolism of yours,
you'll be burning energy

you didn't even know existed.

- She's got me in training.
- For the surgery? That's a good idea.

No. A 5K run three weeks later.

- I didn't know you ran.
- Me, either.

I think people use recovery
as an excuse to sit on their asses.

Health is a choice.

Unless someone else chooses
to steal your kidney.

Hey. What did I say about pity parties?
No time, not interested.

You are so good for me.

Isn't this the cutest face you've ever seen
in your life?

I mean, don't you just wanna eat this face
right up?

Well, don't push too hard.

I know plenty of weekend warriors

who think they're 20
and end up with coronaries.

- Dr. McNamara...
- Oh, no, no, no!

You call him Sean. You are family.

- Isn't she, Sean?
- Absolutely.

Sean, don't give her excuses
to cop out on herself if you really love her.

I mean, see her for who she is,
but you know,

support her in becoming the best
she can be.

Sean. I need to see you right away.

Christian, Christian.
Did you meet my girlfriend, Poppy?

Later, Liz. Gimme something to live for.

Last thing I remember is locking eyes
with that bitch. Then nothing.

Next thing I know,
I'm waking up with a massive migraine

and puking my guts out.

I don't understand
why you'd get a hooker in the first place.

- I was upset about Michelle.
- Right.

"Gotta have it
just as long as I can't get it. "

Why don't you just go to a bar
and pick someone up like you usually do?

I'm sure there's another mother-daughter
team out there somewhere.

Nice.

At least at a bar,
what you see is what you get.

Oh, yeah, no risk there. Just ask Lizzy.

How'd ya find this madam anyway?
The Internet?

I met her through Michelle.

Michelle was one of her girls.

Was this before or after
she went to medical school?

That's how she went to medical school.

- We sold our business to a hooker?
- It's in the past, Sean.

It's not something she's proud of, and
it's not something she wants advertised.

Look, she's in my blood, Sean!

That's why the bitch is trying
to destroy me. She's in her blood, too.

You were right. She drugged you.

Triazolam.

The guys from biohazard are here.

Tell them most of it's out back.
There's some in the basement.

I thought they collected
at the end of the week.

They've been on strike.

Or haven't you noticed our dumpsters
overflowing with medical waste?

We could pollute a small reservoir
with all the tissue and fat

that's been piling up out there.

So you want to report this
to the police or what?

No, I don't think so.

Just wanna take care of it myself, quietly.
Then just let it go.

Dr. McNamara,
can I speak to you for a minute?

A leg-lengthening procedure
is not something I recommend, Marlowe.

It's incredibly painful, risky
and cost prohibitive.

I understand, but I'd still appreciate
you walking me through it.

- So to speak.
- I have to ask why.

Your stance on Conor's operation
was pretty clear.

A woman that I'm involved with,

she's having some difficulty dealing
with the height disparity between us.

Well, if she needs you to put yourself
through something like this,

I strongly suggest she's not the one you
want to spend the rest of your life with.

In theory, I agree with you.
You're right, it's insane.

But so is love, you know?

I'd start by breaking the tibia
and fibula bones of both your legs.

We'd attach an external fixator device
to each half of each severed bone

using 12-inch pins that we'd insert through
small holes drilled through your skin.

Once the surgery's completed,
a small screw is turned, stretching

the fixator device to increase the distance
between both halves of each bone.

The pain is considerable since
anti-inflammatory drugs slow bone growth

and are only prescribed in emergencies.

The screws are turned four times a day
to allow new bone growth to occur

in the space between,
roughly around 1 millimeter per day.

- How many inches of growth can I expect?
- Three to six.

Sometimes less, but rarely more.

Six inches taller?

- Can I help you?
- Two for Nine Suns, please.

Thank you. You have a great evening.

After you.

Let's do it.

- Great. That's a start.
- Damn, I'm gonna miss those bags.

I have to throw out a whole repertoire
of luggage insults.

Well, the first time I woke up next to her,

I thought I was sleeping
with Rocky Raccoon.

Only puffier, this one.

Imagine rolling over
and seeing that every morning.

Well, I think that should do it.

Come on, Sean.

The whole idea was to get rid
of cellulite city,

not just raze a couple of buildings.

And while she's under, might as well take
a look at these Hadassah arms over here.

A couple of flaps of these puppies
and she's liable to take off.

We usually like to stick
with what the patient's requested.

Guys, she's not in here for her health.
Come on.

- This is exactly what she'd want.
- Right. What she wants.

Listen, I'm not having her come
down to the Keys with me

looking like a Teletubby, all right?

This is like Michelangelo and the David.

We're just whittling away
at anything that isn't the true Liz.

I think we're done whittling away
for today.

If she wants anything else done,
it's not like she has to make a special trip.

I got a lunch date. Later.

I think Christian's right.
We did what Liz asked for.

If she needs additional work,
she certainly knows where to find us.

I can never figure out
what comes first with guys.

Inflated ego or the small penis.

Bonjour, James.

I had so much fun the other night,
I thought maybe we should do it again.

- Care for some lunch?
- I'm gonna be sick.

It must be going around.
I was puking my guts out this morning.

Might've been something I drank.

When I finally woke up,
I thought I'd been robbed,

but everything was there.

But then I noticed something in the air,
and I recognized the scent.

L 'air du French cooch.

You're disgusting! That car is worth
more than $100,000!

A woman who won the lottery paid me
four times that much to ride my dick.

Which means, sweetheart,
you owe me 300,000 bucks.

Wait. Wait!

I have a girl who was offered a comparable
amount by an appallingly rich Saudi.

Perhaps if I send her to you,
we might call this even.

Why the sudden turnaround, James?
Scared of a little medical waste?

Afraid your living room might end up
like your Mercedes?

It's insane for us both to fight over a prize
neither of us could win.

- It's a peace offering.
- Peace offering?

She better be one hell of a piece.

Am I beautiful?

- I always thought so.
- Where's Poppy?

- I wanna know what she thinks.
- I'm really proud of you, Liz.

Changing your attitude,

realizing that you deserve someone

because you're so lovable and great.

What's going on with you?
Did you nick a vein or something?

No! No, no. Just...

You decided to find yourself a girlfriend
and poof! Poppy appeared.

- You hate her.
- No, I don't! I mean, who? Poppy?

- Did she say something?
- No! I mean...

She may have been a little
on the critical side, but...

Of who? Of me?

Well, it's just that she wants me to be
the best me I can be.

I mean... What did she say?
That she was stuck with a big old fat pig?

No.

- Oh, my God.
- You're putting words in my mouth.

Well, someone better,
because the ones you're not saying suck.

- That woman loves me, Sean.
- Of course she does.

You are very lovable.

And look, it's just me. It's me.

I think I'm being overprotective.

She was a little pushy in the OR,
and I overreacted.

Hey.

I'm really happy for you.

And if Poppy is the girl for you,
then she's family.

- How's my baby doing?
- Great. Just perfect.

I'll give you two some privacy.

And no monkey business
till she's out of recovery.

He's okay.

A little on a conservative side
for a surgeon,

but, you know,
much less of a pig than that other one.

Why? What did he do?

It's more really about what he didn't do,
but you know what? It doesn't matter.

We'll just go back in, in another month,
and we'll do some more, right?

I'll take care of it, so...

Hey, push over.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

- That woman in the waiting room...
- Pretty, isn't she?

A little gift from our good friend James.

Since I couldn't get what I wanted,

she thought she'd help compensate
for my loss.

Christian, don't do this.

Don't accept favors from James.
She's not to be trusted.

And your husband is?

But what the hell? You've made
your choice and now I'm making mine.

Do you think I chose to stay with Burt
to hurt you?

Do you have any idea
what my life has been like?

I'm 30 years old.

I sleep next to a man
who I have to feed and clean...

Just how much money could he be
leaving you, Mrs. Landau? A billion?

Because after everything
he's put you through,

you couldn't possibly owe that old bastard
a single thing.

You wanna sacrifice yourself from some
false sense of wifely obligation, go ahead.

- You'll die a rich martyr.
- Christian, please.

But I'm way past shooting for sainthood,
sweetheart.

God gave me a dick and I intend
to glorify him by playing that organ

as intensely and as often as possible.

Hello.

Let's go.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- I didn't hear you come in.
- Well, I didn't wanna wake Conor.

I think he's finally out.

We'll see how long that lasts.

You know,
he's probably scared of this thing.

Maybe we should paint over it.

Put something less weird in its place.

Marlowe thinks
it's actually quite good for him.

Marlowe is a capable night nurse, Julia,
who certainly talks a good game.

When it comes down to it,
he's kind of full of shit.

What are you talking about?

Guess who came into my office to discuss
a leg-lengthening procedure?

I don't understand. Why would he...

Apparently, he's in love with someone
who's got a problem with him being short.

So much for all that self-acceptance crap.

It must be that dancer,
the Miami ballet, he told me about.

Talk about hypocrisy, huh?

I told him
it's an incredibly painful procedure.

They have to cut the bones,
put a brace on,

turn a screw to force the bones apart...

Isn't that what you did to Conor?

It's not the same, Julia!
A baby's bones aren't completely formed.

The whole recovery process
is much easier...

I'll get him.

Come here. It's okay. It's okay.

Could you give me a pacifier?
Try to distract him?

Just rock him and maybe he'll fall asleep.

I can't. I need to turn the screw.

I have to get some air,
take a walk or something.

I'm sorry,
but I just can't watch you do this.

It's okay.

It's okay, it's okay.

Can I come in?

Hey.

It's not exactly Hieronymus Bosch.

I just can't seem to get
the colors quite right.

I don't want you to get
the procedure done.

The leg-lengthening. Not for me.

I'm not just doing it for you.
I'm doing it for us.

There is no us, Marlowe. I am married.
I've told you.

I know.

But you may not be forever.

Look, Julia, I have never thought
about doing something like this before.

It's just...

It's just that every other way,
we're a perfect fit.

And I just don't want the physical
difference between us to stand in the way.

How could you even think that?

Whatever happens between me and Sean,

there's not one thing
that I would change about you.

Not one.

- Marlowe.
- I know.

You have to go home.

Mrs. Landau. Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
I didn't mean to startle you.

I'm just a little on edge.
It's been a difficult day.

For Mr. Landau, too, I'm afraid.

I gave him his heparin over an hour ago,
and his blood pressure is still 180 over 90.

- I'd be happy to stay the night.
- No.

That's very sweet of you, Frances,
but I can handle it.

But if he has any more trouble breathing
or he complains of chest pains...

I said I can handle it.

- Now, go and enjoy your evening.
- Good night.

Darling, is that you?

Yes, Burt. I'll be right up.

I'll need to be able to use those
in the morning. I have a rhinoplasty.

Where the hell have you been?

Oh, God, I feel like shit.

My heart's racing a mile a minute.

I'll... I'll get you your beta blocker.

Now, where did Frances put them?

- I'll go look for them.
- No, no, wait a minute! Come back here!

Come on.

Please. Come over and sit by me.
Come on.

That's right. Keep me company.

That's the best medicine there is.

Come on, a little closer.

Now show me.

Come on, honey,
let me nuzzle them a little bit.

I don't really think
you should excite yourself right now, Burt.

Shit, you're probably right.

Let this be a lesson. Never buy a used car.

Once you drive it off the lot,

one damn thing after another
starts to fall apart.

It's been a sweet ride though, hasn't it?

Sweet?

No, Burt, it hasn't.

It stopped being sweet the day you
forced me to make love to another man

in front of you.

Whatever love I had for you died that day.

You don't do that to someone you love.

You do that to something you own.

Marriage is a contract, darling.

What's mine is yours,
and what's yours is mine.

You knew I loved Christian!

And all your money and power
couldn't change that!

Well, you're here, aren't you?

If it wasn't the money and power,
why'd you stay?

I stayed because I pitied you.

Get my pills.

The little white ones. Come on.
Please! Where are they?

They're in the living room.

I'll get it myself.

Oh. Easy, baby. Better hold that thought.

Unless you're into golden showers.

Okay! Now, where were we?

Jules?

That was a long walk.

Yeah, I sat by the ocean
and looked at the waves.

I think it helped.

By yourself, at night?

I don't wanna lie to you, Sean.

I was at Marlowe's.

Marlowe? What for?

He's my friend.
I wanted someone to talk to.

Process things.

I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed.

What things?

His leg-lengthening procedure?

Yes.

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