NewsRadio (1995–1999): Season 2, Episode 11 - The Station Sale - full transcript
Mr James frightens everyone by negotiating the sale of the station to a buyer who will probably fire most of the staff.
Okay, one last thing.
The, uh, snack food
over by the coffee machine
is for snacking
purposes only.
Meaning what?
Meaning don't
make the snacks
your primary
dietary source.
Okay? Leave a cookie or two
for other people.
Don't look
at me.
Hmm?
Don't, please.
Stop it.
No one is looking at you.
Yes, they are, Dave.
Just because I earn
next to nothing,
everybody assumes
that I'll eat anything
that's free,
and that is simply not true.
No one thinks that.
I do.
Thank you, Bill.
You know what
she has for lunch?
Ketchup-packet soup
and Tic-Tacs.
I do not, Bill.
Give the girl
a raise, already.
It's making me sick.
Aw.
Oh.
Well, that's all
I wanted to cover today.
Mr. James, is there something
you wanted to say?
Uh, yeah. Thanks, David.
As you all know,
I've been concentrating
all my energies lately
on finding a wife.
And how's
that going?
Oh, good, good.
I've whittled my original list
of 36 candidates
down to 29.
So who'd
you eliminate?
Well, with a great deal
of reluctance,
I've had to scratch off
Loretta Swit.
Already married?
No, not that I know of.
The problem is,
no one can seem to locate her.
Sir, is that what you
wanted to tell us?
Nope. No.
What I wanted to say was this--
there comes a time
in a man's life
when change must occur.
Change, according to
the great philosophers,
is a catalyst for--
Yes, Beth?
Uh, sir, may I be excused?
I think I may have some
secretarial-type duties.
Okay. Go ahead.
I understand that.
Anybody else
that's got any real work to do
can go ahead,
and anybody who wants
to stay here
and hear what I have to say
can just...
go ahead and stay here.
So what's up?
I'm selling the station.
I'm sorry.
I thought
I heard you say--
You heard right.
I am currently
in negotiations
to sell WNYX,
which is why I wanted
to tell you people about it
before you read it
in the papers tomorrow.
Um, I think someone
should check on Matthew.
Come on, sweetie.
One foot
in front of the other.
Sir, who are you
in negotiations
with?
Robertson Communications.
They own a whole bunch
of AM stations,
but they're good people.
This is completely bogus.
Completely bogus.
Joe, what exactly
is so bogus about it?
I don't know.
There's something bogus
in there somewhere.
This is
very upsetting.
Yes. This really
is a shock.
I know. I know.
Which is why I wanted to spend
a moment with you people,
make sure you were okay.
Okay, good.
That was a nice moment.
Where are
you going?
I'm going to a meeting
with the Robertson people.
You know what? I love the smell
of a negotiating room
in the morning.
It smells like,
uh...
"Like victory."
What?
"Like victory,"
Apocalypse Now.
Dave, I'd love to stand here
and talk movies with you,
but I got a deal to close.
I'll see you, people.
Wait a minute.
Is that it?
No one's going to...
no one's going to do anything?
You're all just going
to sit there and do nothing.
No, sir.
I for one am going to
go get a cup of coffee.
No sale. No sale.
Come on, guys. No sale.
No sale! No sale!
No sale!
No sale! No sale! No sale!
Matthew,
be careful.
Aah!
[♪]
What do you know
about these Robertson
Communications people?
Nothing at all.
Are they the sort of people
that are going to
come in here
and just fire everyone, or--
No. Let's just
calm down. All right?
There's no reason
to panic about this.
Yeah. Yeah. You're right.
They're not going to
come in and
fire everybody.
No.
They'll probably just...
hold us all to our contracts,
and then change the format
to soft rock of the '70s
until we all get so sick
of listening
to "Afternoon Delight"
that we kill ourselves,
and then they'll hire new people
to fill our positions.
That imagination of yours
is an absolute curse.
Yeah. I know.
My parents wouldn't let me
watch television.
You know anything about
Robertson Communications?
No.
How about you?
Nope.
I do.
Joe?
You want to hear it?
Yes.
All right. The last station
they bought,
they fired half the staff
and made everyone else
take pay cuts.
All right,
where did you hear this?
The guy down
at the deli told me,
but it's definitely true.
Okay, that's great.
They're going to fire
half the staff
and make everyone
else take pay cuts.
Hey, you guys? You guys?
I just bought this jacket.
Should I take it back?
I don't know.
Okay. It's just that I really,
really like it,
so if you know
of any reason at all--
I don't know.
Okay, okay. It's just it was
really expensive--
We don't know.
Okay, fine.
P.S. Did you guys hear
about the last station
Robertson owned?
Yes. They fired
half the staff...
And made everyone else
get haircuts.
They can't do that,
can they, Dave?
All right. The rumors are
flying out here.
Oh, they're flying
in here too.
What did you hear?
That at the last station
Robertson bought,
they eliminated half-and-half
and made everybody
eat cold cuts.
That makes no sense.
What are they, Dave--
some kind of dairy or meat
processing conglomerate?
Well.
Well.
I recorded those promos
you wanted.
I did a few
different variations,
gave you a few choices.
Have a listen.
I will.
Uh, Bill?
Are you
not the least bit concerned
that this station
is up for sale?
Well, look on the bright side.
Maybe these Robertson people
will send over some free cheese
and salami samples
from one of their factories.
Aren't you worried
about losing your job?
Why should I?
My job's secure.
Well, what if they change
the format?
Yeah, what if they don't need
a news announcer?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I have other talents.
WNYX, your home
for the hits in New York city.
DRAWL: WNYX, all country,
all western, all the time.
Con millionas voltas, WNYX,
tiene los "hits" español
de la Nueva York.
Thank you.
WNYX, ala cala moshala
ha mala shulo New York!
Okay, Okay.
You made that one up.
Ula kuru ma hayo
ha kala hy amon!
What are you doing?
Black armbands.
We're all going
to wear them.
I mean, I only have
two right now, but...
You only have two?
Well, yeah. They're
actually my socks.
Aw, get away from me,
you barefooted freak.
Something must be done, Bill.
Action
must be taken.
Why don't you
handcuff yourself
to your desk
or something?
Yeah, right.
Where am I going to find
a pair of handcuffs?
Yours is not to reason why
Yours is but to do and die
John Keats, 1776.
Well, what if I have to
go to the bathroom or something?
Going to the bathroom
is a privilege you just may lose
if you sit idly by in these
troubled times, my friend.
I'll cuff myself
to a chair.
Now you're talking.
Okay, listen up, people.
In protest
of the possible sale
of this station,
I am now going to handcuff
myself to the chair.
My voice
will be heard.
Where'd you get
the cuffs, dude?
Bill.
In fact, this is, uh,
all Bill's idea.
Cool. Ha ha!
Ah. Mr. James.
Why, hey there, Matthew.
So, word travels
fast, huh?
Nice, uh,
nice bracelets.
Yeah. I got your
attention now, don't I?
Well,
you certainly do.
Now, uh...
now what happens?
You listen to
a list of my demands,
which include--
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
You mean this isn't
a magic trick?
No. It's a protest.
Oh.
Hey, Dave.
Well, it's about time.
Look, the Robertson people
are coming over
for a walk-through.
Let's see if we can
get them out of here
before Matthew
sets himself on fire, huh?
I just don't understand
why you're doing this.
No, no, hey. I didn't seek
these people out.
They sought me out.
We started to talk,
a relationship developed.
I'm just going to have
to play this out,
see what happens, you know.
All right, but it doesn't
make any sense.
Mr. James,
there's someone here
from Robertson Communications
for you.
Oh, thanks, Bethie.
Hey. Hey.
Very impressive operation
you've got here.
Thank you. Thank you, Jane,
and you certainly...
brighten the place up.
Dave, this is Jane Robertson,
president and CEO
of Robertson Communications.
Hi. Nice to meet you,
Miss Robertson.
It is Miss Robertson,
isn't it?
Yes. Nice to meet you too.
Miss Robertson...
would you mind giving
Mr. James and I
a moment alone, please?
No.
We'll do this, and you
go out and meet the staff.
I'd like that.
Oh, um, what's the deal
on the kid with the handcuffs?
I don't know. I don't think
he works here.
Ho ho,
I don't believe you.
What?
She's one of your
wife candidates.
No!
Aw...
No!
Oh, yes, she is.
Well, yeah, but, I mean,
she wasn't one of
the original candidates.
It's like I told you.
She came to me.
We started to talk,
a relationship developed...
And now you're selling her
the station.
Sir, you are a whore.
I'm not selling the station.
But, you know, a few hours
in the negotiating room,
I think maybe I can
win her heart, huh?
Oh, sir,
that is so unacceptable.
I mean, to put my staff,
to put your staff--
Dave, Dave, Dave,
would you give me
a chance here?
Would you give me a chance,
please?
Give me...uh, give me
till the end of the day.
Otherwise, you know,
if I break off negotiations now,
I mean, she's out of here.
I'm done.
You amaze me.
This is important
to me.
I am tired of sleeping
single in a double bed.
Granted, it is
the largest, softest,
most expensive
double bed available,
But...
it's still, uh, you know,
lonely in there.
[SIGH]
Fine.
Till the end
of the day?
Yeah. Thanks, Dave.
Okay. Get out there.
Oh, wait a minute, sir.
Wait.
All right.
Here you go.
This is good.
Yeah, that's nice.
It's a very nice tie.
Let's just brighten
you up a little.
All right.
Okay. Good luck.
Check my breath?
No, that's where
I draw the line.
Okay.
Hey!
Bill. Ahem.
This is, uh...
Jane Robertson,
Robertson Communications.
What a great pleasure
it is to meet you.
Nice to meet you,
Mister...
McNeal.
Bill McNeal.
Nice to meet you.
So, what are you
hungry for?
Well, I was hoping...
You probably
recognize the voice.
I'm Bill McNeal.
No, I'm afraid
I don't,
but it was nice
to meet you.
Here we go.
You know who I'd like to meet
is Catherine Duke.
Con millionas voltas,
tiene los "hits" español
de la Nueva York!
Dios mío.
Okay, so the most important
thing to remember
Is that we stick together,
all right? We are a unit.
They take all of us
or they take none of us.
Okay, people,
let's go to plan B--
it's every man for himself.
Listen to me.
The last thing we need right now
is a power struggle.
Absolutely.
I'm with you.
Good.
All those in favor of
maintaining a unified front
stay here.
Those of you who'd like
to join my splinter group,
meet me in the men's room
in five minutes.
Can I please have the floor
just for a second? Please?
I just want to say real quick
that I met this Robertson woman,
and she's very, very nice,
and...
I just want to be unlocked.
You will stay handcuffed
to that chair
until Jimmy decides
to keep the station.
Bill, please...
What about your
hunger strike?
I never said
I was on a hunger strike.
Well, start one.
Joe, that's my chair.
I don't see
your name on it.
Okay, what's going on?
Well, Matthew's on
a hunger strike,
and Bill would like us
to meet him
in the men's room.
And we're all going to
get fired.
No, I don't think anyone's
going to get fired, okay?
All I know is I'm
not going to get fired.
And why not?
Because of this.
Why?
What does that do?
I'm not sure, but I took it
out of the radio transmitter,
and only I know
where to put it back.
Now, what if we refuse
to go on the air?
Good idea.
Give it a try.
If it works, then I'm
right there with you.
If these guys don't want
to go on the air,
I'd give it a shot.
Paris fell because
of people like you.
[ALL ARGUING]
You're going to
end up
in a hip-hop
station!
You stick with me!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Mr. James is not
selling the station.
He's just using this
as an excuse
to get close to
that Robertson woman.
Why?
What?
He's lonely, all right?
Look, the point is
it's over,
and we can all relax.
All right? So Joe, please put
that back in the transmitter.
Dave? Dave?
And, Bill, would
you unlock Matthew?
Uh, the keys are
on the top shelf.
Thank you.
Well, what top--
Can you help me
with it?
What top--Bill! Oh.
Oh...
It wasn't your
breath, was it?
Because I'd feel
just terrible--
Dave, Dave,
she broke my heart.
Jane.
Yes, Jane.
Wonderful Jane.
How could she
do this to me, Dave?
I know, I know, sir, it's hard,
but, you know, there are lots
of other women out there, and--
No, no, no, no, it's not that.
It's worse. She made me
an offer I can't refuse.
What do you mean?
She actually wants
to buy the station.
Well, that's--that's
not a bad offer,
but you could--
Oh, my!
Mm-hmm.
Oh, my.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Well said.
Well, what are you
going to do?
I already did it.
I sold the station.
That's not exactly the path
I would have chosen, but--
Oh, yes, it is.
I thought you loved
owning this station.
I do, Cathy, I do,
but you know
my personal credo.
Actually, you know,
I don't.
It's "Never let your emotions
cloud a deal."
That's rule number one.
"Never let
your emotions--"
Yeah, I got it.
All right.
I got a question for you.
Yeah?
Are the new owners aware of
how difficult it's going to be
to run a station
without this?
What is that?
I'm not saying,
but I'd advise everybody
to take the stairs
instead of the elevator
from now on.
I'd like to raise
a practical question
at this point.
Mm-hmm.
Why, Jimmy? Why?
Are you all right?
Yeah, yeah. I was just
on the, uh, elevator,
and it, like, dropped
10 floors
in half a second.
DAVE: Bill, give me
the damn keys.
BILL: Fine.
Mr. James, is there
anything we could do
to talk you out of this?
All right. I'm all ears.
I'll give you five minutes.
Okay.
Anybody...
anything?
Just give us
five more minutes.
Guys, guys, it's been, like,
seven hours already.
I'm starting to feel
like a giant snooze-box here.
Now, Jimmy, you know
in your heart
that the best deal
is to keep this
station, right?
Cathy, if I relied on my heart
for business advice,
I would have gone broke
a long time ago.
Probably would've
put all my money
into stuffed animal
factories or something.
Well, what about us?
We're your friends.
Well, we'll still
be friends.
Not if you sell
the station.
Some friends.
I got it!
We didn't say
the magic word.
Please don't sell
the station.
Joe, that's just stupid.
I thought you were trying
to teach us a lesson,
manners. I don't know.
All right, look.
It's almost 12:00.
Is anybody going to try
to talk me out of this?
Nope...
because
we don't have to.
Why is that, Matthew?
Well, because I took
the liberty
of turning the clock
back 10 minutes.
It is actually 12:05,
which means you missed
your midnight deadline.
Yes!
Matthew, that 12:00
was just a loose guideline.
I'm dealing with
a corporation here,
not magical fairies.
Huh.
All right,
every businessman
is essentially
a gambler, right?
Yeah, gambling.
The art of getting something
for nothing.
The perfect deal. Yes.
Then what do you say
we flip for it, huh?
Heads, you sell
the station,
tails, you keep it.
Huh?
I love it. The ultimate deal.
Let's go.
Okay.
Two out of three?
Okay, two out of three.
Three out of five?
All right.
Four out of seven?
Okay.
[SIGHS]
Now you know why I'm rich.
Yeah, Jane, it's Jimmy.
Mr. James, Mr. James,
hang on, hang on!
Hang on
for a second, Jane.
You keep the station,
I will give you...
I'll give you $40.
Oh, 40 big boys!
That's beautiful.
All right, I'll
give you $49.
$49.
Yeah, that's almost
$50 of my own money,
Which is like...
a whole lot
of my salary.
But you know what?
I can go without
lunches for a month,
so that's fine.
How about 60?
about 49...
.25, plus
a piece of gum?
Beth--
Mr. James,
that's all I got.
Now you can sell
the station
for millions,
or you can keep
the station,
which is worth millions
of dollars,
plus you make
50 bucks.
Yeah, uh...
No, I'm sorry to keep
you on hold, Jane.
Uh-huh.
Well, guess what?
Yeah, I'm going to have to pass.
Yeah.
A better offer came along.
What can I tell you?
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Bethie, Bethie,
pay up here.
There you go.
Thank you.
Wait, whoa, whoa--and?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I forgot.
Oh, jeez, I didn't know
it was ABC gum.
You failed
to ask, sir.
Hmm. Sneaky.
I got to respect that.
Tasty too.
Uh-huh.
Good night, people.
Good night, Mr. James.
Okay, seeing as the crisis
is now over,
and it's many hours
past normal quitting time,
what do you say we go out
and get really really drunk?
Whoo-whoo!
Can you buy
my drinks, Dave?
You got it.
Thank you.
No hard feelings
about the cuffs?
No, no. Hey, come on.
I'll buy you a drink.
Thanks. Oh, can I
have my cuffs back?
Oh, I already
gave them to you.
No, you didn't.
They're around
your left ankle.
Good night, Bill.
Matthew!
So Joe was right?
This was some sort
of a weird trick
to teach us a lesson?
No. Look. It was
a better deal.
It was a better deal,
plain and simple.
You still don't get
the beauty of that, do you?
To be honest, I don't get it.
I really don't.
All right, all right, listen up.
Getting millions of dollars
out of a corporation,
that's nothing.
That's done every day,
but getting almost 50 bucks
out of a secretary
who's going to have to
brown-bag it
for the rest of the month,
son, that's a deal
you write home about.
Uh-huh.
Okay, what?
Just admit it.
Admit what?
Admit that this station
means something to you
and the people that work here
mean something to you--
Of course they do.
And that's why
you didn't sell.
No, that's just crazy.
It was a sound business
decision, and that's it.
Oh, come on. Just admit it.
You let emotion
cloud the deal.
Just between you and me.
Okay, what's it
worth to you?
Uh, five bucks?
$10?
$7.50?
$8.00?
Done.
Okay.
These people
mean the world to me.
They're not like employees.
They're like family.
I can't imagine anything worse
than having to part with them.
There. You satisfied?
Yes.
Great. Nice doing business
with you, Dave.
5, 6, 7--Whoa!
I'm on a hot streak here.
I can't lose!
See you.
Joe?
Sorry, boss.
I'm still trying to figure out
where this one goes.
[♪]
The, uh, snack food
over by the coffee machine
is for snacking
purposes only.
Meaning what?
Meaning don't
make the snacks
your primary
dietary source.
Okay? Leave a cookie or two
for other people.
Don't look
at me.
Hmm?
Don't, please.
Stop it.
No one is looking at you.
Yes, they are, Dave.
Just because I earn
next to nothing,
everybody assumes
that I'll eat anything
that's free,
and that is simply not true.
No one thinks that.
I do.
Thank you, Bill.
You know what
she has for lunch?
Ketchup-packet soup
and Tic-Tacs.
I do not, Bill.
Give the girl
a raise, already.
It's making me sick.
Aw.
Oh.
Well, that's all
I wanted to cover today.
Mr. James, is there something
you wanted to say?
Uh, yeah. Thanks, David.
As you all know,
I've been concentrating
all my energies lately
on finding a wife.
And how's
that going?
Oh, good, good.
I've whittled my original list
of 36 candidates
down to 29.
So who'd
you eliminate?
Well, with a great deal
of reluctance,
I've had to scratch off
Loretta Swit.
Already married?
No, not that I know of.
The problem is,
no one can seem to locate her.
Sir, is that what you
wanted to tell us?
Nope. No.
What I wanted to say was this--
there comes a time
in a man's life
when change must occur.
Change, according to
the great philosophers,
is a catalyst for--
Yes, Beth?
Uh, sir, may I be excused?
I think I may have some
secretarial-type duties.
Okay. Go ahead.
I understand that.
Anybody else
that's got any real work to do
can go ahead,
and anybody who wants
to stay here
and hear what I have to say
can just...
go ahead and stay here.
So what's up?
I'm selling the station.
I'm sorry.
I thought
I heard you say--
You heard right.
I am currently
in negotiations
to sell WNYX,
which is why I wanted
to tell you people about it
before you read it
in the papers tomorrow.
Um, I think someone
should check on Matthew.
Come on, sweetie.
One foot
in front of the other.
Sir, who are you
in negotiations
with?
Robertson Communications.
They own a whole bunch
of AM stations,
but they're good people.
This is completely bogus.
Completely bogus.
Joe, what exactly
is so bogus about it?
I don't know.
There's something bogus
in there somewhere.
This is
very upsetting.
Yes. This really
is a shock.
I know. I know.
Which is why I wanted to spend
a moment with you people,
make sure you were okay.
Okay, good.
That was a nice moment.
Where are
you going?
I'm going to a meeting
with the Robertson people.
You know what? I love the smell
of a negotiating room
in the morning.
It smells like,
uh...
"Like victory."
What?
"Like victory,"
Apocalypse Now.
Dave, I'd love to stand here
and talk movies with you,
but I got a deal to close.
I'll see you, people.
Wait a minute.
Is that it?
No one's going to...
no one's going to do anything?
You're all just going
to sit there and do nothing.
No, sir.
I for one am going to
go get a cup of coffee.
No sale. No sale.
Come on, guys. No sale.
No sale! No sale!
No sale!
No sale! No sale! No sale!
Matthew,
be careful.
Aah!
[♪]
What do you know
about these Robertson
Communications people?
Nothing at all.
Are they the sort of people
that are going to
come in here
and just fire everyone, or--
No. Let's just
calm down. All right?
There's no reason
to panic about this.
Yeah. Yeah. You're right.
They're not going to
come in and
fire everybody.
No.
They'll probably just...
hold us all to our contracts,
and then change the format
to soft rock of the '70s
until we all get so sick
of listening
to "Afternoon Delight"
that we kill ourselves,
and then they'll hire new people
to fill our positions.
That imagination of yours
is an absolute curse.
Yeah. I know.
My parents wouldn't let me
watch television.
You know anything about
Robertson Communications?
No.
How about you?
Nope.
I do.
Joe?
You want to hear it?
Yes.
All right. The last station
they bought,
they fired half the staff
and made everyone else
take pay cuts.
All right,
where did you hear this?
The guy down
at the deli told me,
but it's definitely true.
Okay, that's great.
They're going to fire
half the staff
and make everyone
else take pay cuts.
Hey, you guys? You guys?
I just bought this jacket.
Should I take it back?
I don't know.
Okay. It's just that I really,
really like it,
so if you know
of any reason at all--
I don't know.
Okay, okay. It's just it was
really expensive--
We don't know.
Okay, fine.
P.S. Did you guys hear
about the last station
Robertson owned?
Yes. They fired
half the staff...
And made everyone else
get haircuts.
They can't do that,
can they, Dave?
All right. The rumors are
flying out here.
Oh, they're flying
in here too.
What did you hear?
That at the last station
Robertson bought,
they eliminated half-and-half
and made everybody
eat cold cuts.
That makes no sense.
What are they, Dave--
some kind of dairy or meat
processing conglomerate?
Well.
Well.
I recorded those promos
you wanted.
I did a few
different variations,
gave you a few choices.
Have a listen.
I will.
Uh, Bill?
Are you
not the least bit concerned
that this station
is up for sale?
Well, look on the bright side.
Maybe these Robertson people
will send over some free cheese
and salami samples
from one of their factories.
Aren't you worried
about losing your job?
Why should I?
My job's secure.
Well, what if they change
the format?
Yeah, what if they don't need
a news announcer?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I have other talents.
WNYX, your home
for the hits in New York city.
DRAWL: WNYX, all country,
all western, all the time.
Con millionas voltas, WNYX,
tiene los "hits" español
de la Nueva York.
Thank you.
WNYX, ala cala moshala
ha mala shulo New York!
Okay, Okay.
You made that one up.
Ula kuru ma hayo
ha kala hy amon!
What are you doing?
Black armbands.
We're all going
to wear them.
I mean, I only have
two right now, but...
You only have two?
Well, yeah. They're
actually my socks.
Aw, get away from me,
you barefooted freak.
Something must be done, Bill.
Action
must be taken.
Why don't you
handcuff yourself
to your desk
or something?
Yeah, right.
Where am I going to find
a pair of handcuffs?
Yours is not to reason why
Yours is but to do and die
John Keats, 1776.
Well, what if I have to
go to the bathroom or something?
Going to the bathroom
is a privilege you just may lose
if you sit idly by in these
troubled times, my friend.
I'll cuff myself
to a chair.
Now you're talking.
Okay, listen up, people.
In protest
of the possible sale
of this station,
I am now going to handcuff
myself to the chair.
My voice
will be heard.
Where'd you get
the cuffs, dude?
Bill.
In fact, this is, uh,
all Bill's idea.
Cool. Ha ha!
Ah. Mr. James.
Why, hey there, Matthew.
So, word travels
fast, huh?
Nice, uh,
nice bracelets.
Yeah. I got your
attention now, don't I?
Well,
you certainly do.
Now, uh...
now what happens?
You listen to
a list of my demands,
which include--
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
You mean this isn't
a magic trick?
No. It's a protest.
Oh.
Hey, Dave.
Well, it's about time.
Look, the Robertson people
are coming over
for a walk-through.
Let's see if we can
get them out of here
before Matthew
sets himself on fire, huh?
I just don't understand
why you're doing this.
No, no, hey. I didn't seek
these people out.
They sought me out.
We started to talk,
a relationship developed.
I'm just going to have
to play this out,
see what happens, you know.
All right, but it doesn't
make any sense.
Mr. James,
there's someone here
from Robertson Communications
for you.
Oh, thanks, Bethie.
Hey. Hey.
Very impressive operation
you've got here.
Thank you. Thank you, Jane,
and you certainly...
brighten the place up.
Dave, this is Jane Robertson,
president and CEO
of Robertson Communications.
Hi. Nice to meet you,
Miss Robertson.
It is Miss Robertson,
isn't it?
Yes. Nice to meet you too.
Miss Robertson...
would you mind giving
Mr. James and I
a moment alone, please?
No.
We'll do this, and you
go out and meet the staff.
I'd like that.
Oh, um, what's the deal
on the kid with the handcuffs?
I don't know. I don't think
he works here.
Ho ho,
I don't believe you.
What?
She's one of your
wife candidates.
No!
Aw...
No!
Oh, yes, she is.
Well, yeah, but, I mean,
she wasn't one of
the original candidates.
It's like I told you.
She came to me.
We started to talk,
a relationship developed...
And now you're selling her
the station.
Sir, you are a whore.
I'm not selling the station.
But, you know, a few hours
in the negotiating room,
I think maybe I can
win her heart, huh?
Oh, sir,
that is so unacceptable.
I mean, to put my staff,
to put your staff--
Dave, Dave, Dave,
would you give me
a chance here?
Would you give me a chance,
please?
Give me...uh, give me
till the end of the day.
Otherwise, you know,
if I break off negotiations now,
I mean, she's out of here.
I'm done.
You amaze me.
This is important
to me.
I am tired of sleeping
single in a double bed.
Granted, it is
the largest, softest,
most expensive
double bed available,
But...
it's still, uh, you know,
lonely in there.
[SIGH]
Fine.
Till the end
of the day?
Yeah. Thanks, Dave.
Okay. Get out there.
Oh, wait a minute, sir.
Wait.
All right.
Here you go.
This is good.
Yeah, that's nice.
It's a very nice tie.
Let's just brighten
you up a little.
All right.
Okay. Good luck.
Check my breath?
No, that's where
I draw the line.
Okay.
Hey!
Bill. Ahem.
This is, uh...
Jane Robertson,
Robertson Communications.
What a great pleasure
it is to meet you.
Nice to meet you,
Mister...
McNeal.
Bill McNeal.
Nice to meet you.
So, what are you
hungry for?
Well, I was hoping...
You probably
recognize the voice.
I'm Bill McNeal.
No, I'm afraid
I don't,
but it was nice
to meet you.
Here we go.
You know who I'd like to meet
is Catherine Duke.
Con millionas voltas,
tiene los "hits" español
de la Nueva York!
Dios mío.
Okay, so the most important
thing to remember
Is that we stick together,
all right? We are a unit.
They take all of us
or they take none of us.
Okay, people,
let's go to plan B--
it's every man for himself.
Listen to me.
The last thing we need right now
is a power struggle.
Absolutely.
I'm with you.
Good.
All those in favor of
maintaining a unified front
stay here.
Those of you who'd like
to join my splinter group,
meet me in the men's room
in five minutes.
Can I please have the floor
just for a second? Please?
I just want to say real quick
that I met this Robertson woman,
and she's very, very nice,
and...
I just want to be unlocked.
You will stay handcuffed
to that chair
until Jimmy decides
to keep the station.
Bill, please...
What about your
hunger strike?
I never said
I was on a hunger strike.
Well, start one.
Joe, that's my chair.
I don't see
your name on it.
Okay, what's going on?
Well, Matthew's on
a hunger strike,
and Bill would like us
to meet him
in the men's room.
And we're all going to
get fired.
No, I don't think anyone's
going to get fired, okay?
All I know is I'm
not going to get fired.
And why not?
Because of this.
Why?
What does that do?
I'm not sure, but I took it
out of the radio transmitter,
and only I know
where to put it back.
Now, what if we refuse
to go on the air?
Good idea.
Give it a try.
If it works, then I'm
right there with you.
If these guys don't want
to go on the air,
I'd give it a shot.
Paris fell because
of people like you.
[ALL ARGUING]
You're going to
end up
in a hip-hop
station!
You stick with me!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Mr. James is not
selling the station.
He's just using this
as an excuse
to get close to
that Robertson woman.
Why?
What?
He's lonely, all right?
Look, the point is
it's over,
and we can all relax.
All right? So Joe, please put
that back in the transmitter.
Dave? Dave?
And, Bill, would
you unlock Matthew?
Uh, the keys are
on the top shelf.
Thank you.
Well, what top--
Can you help me
with it?
What top--Bill! Oh.
Oh...
It wasn't your
breath, was it?
Because I'd feel
just terrible--
Dave, Dave,
she broke my heart.
Jane.
Yes, Jane.
Wonderful Jane.
How could she
do this to me, Dave?
I know, I know, sir, it's hard,
but, you know, there are lots
of other women out there, and--
No, no, no, no, it's not that.
It's worse. She made me
an offer I can't refuse.
What do you mean?
She actually wants
to buy the station.
Well, that's--that's
not a bad offer,
but you could--
Oh, my!
Mm-hmm.
Oh, my.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Well said.
Well, what are you
going to do?
I already did it.
I sold the station.
That's not exactly the path
I would have chosen, but--
Oh, yes, it is.
I thought you loved
owning this station.
I do, Cathy, I do,
but you know
my personal credo.
Actually, you know,
I don't.
It's "Never let your emotions
cloud a deal."
That's rule number one.
"Never let
your emotions--"
Yeah, I got it.
All right.
I got a question for you.
Yeah?
Are the new owners aware of
how difficult it's going to be
to run a station
without this?
What is that?
I'm not saying,
but I'd advise everybody
to take the stairs
instead of the elevator
from now on.
I'd like to raise
a practical question
at this point.
Mm-hmm.
Why, Jimmy? Why?
Are you all right?
Yeah, yeah. I was just
on the, uh, elevator,
and it, like, dropped
10 floors
in half a second.
DAVE: Bill, give me
the damn keys.
BILL: Fine.
Mr. James, is there
anything we could do
to talk you out of this?
All right. I'm all ears.
I'll give you five minutes.
Okay.
Anybody...
anything?
Just give us
five more minutes.
Guys, guys, it's been, like,
seven hours already.
I'm starting to feel
like a giant snooze-box here.
Now, Jimmy, you know
in your heart
that the best deal
is to keep this
station, right?
Cathy, if I relied on my heart
for business advice,
I would have gone broke
a long time ago.
Probably would've
put all my money
into stuffed animal
factories or something.
Well, what about us?
We're your friends.
Well, we'll still
be friends.
Not if you sell
the station.
Some friends.
I got it!
We didn't say
the magic word.
Please don't sell
the station.
Joe, that's just stupid.
I thought you were trying
to teach us a lesson,
manners. I don't know.
All right, look.
It's almost 12:00.
Is anybody going to try
to talk me out of this?
Nope...
because
we don't have to.
Why is that, Matthew?
Well, because I took
the liberty
of turning the clock
back 10 minutes.
It is actually 12:05,
which means you missed
your midnight deadline.
Yes!
Matthew, that 12:00
was just a loose guideline.
I'm dealing with
a corporation here,
not magical fairies.
Huh.
All right,
every businessman
is essentially
a gambler, right?
Yeah, gambling.
The art of getting something
for nothing.
The perfect deal. Yes.
Then what do you say
we flip for it, huh?
Heads, you sell
the station,
tails, you keep it.
Huh?
I love it. The ultimate deal.
Let's go.
Okay.
Two out of three?
Okay, two out of three.
Three out of five?
All right.
Four out of seven?
Okay.
[SIGHS]
Now you know why I'm rich.
Yeah, Jane, it's Jimmy.
Mr. James, Mr. James,
hang on, hang on!
Hang on
for a second, Jane.
You keep the station,
I will give you...
I'll give you $40.
Oh, 40 big boys!
That's beautiful.
All right, I'll
give you $49.
$49.
Yeah, that's almost
$50 of my own money,
Which is like...
a whole lot
of my salary.
But you know what?
I can go without
lunches for a month,
so that's fine.
How about 60?
about 49...
.25, plus
a piece of gum?
Beth--
Mr. James,
that's all I got.
Now you can sell
the station
for millions,
or you can keep
the station,
which is worth millions
of dollars,
plus you make
50 bucks.
Yeah, uh...
No, I'm sorry to keep
you on hold, Jane.
Uh-huh.
Well, guess what?
Yeah, I'm going to have to pass.
Yeah.
A better offer came along.
What can I tell you?
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Bethie, Bethie,
pay up here.
There you go.
Thank you.
Wait, whoa, whoa--and?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I forgot.
Oh, jeez, I didn't know
it was ABC gum.
You failed
to ask, sir.
Hmm. Sneaky.
I got to respect that.
Tasty too.
Uh-huh.
Good night, people.
Good night, Mr. James.
Okay, seeing as the crisis
is now over,
and it's many hours
past normal quitting time,
what do you say we go out
and get really really drunk?
Whoo-whoo!
Can you buy
my drinks, Dave?
You got it.
Thank you.
No hard feelings
about the cuffs?
No, no. Hey, come on.
I'll buy you a drink.
Thanks. Oh, can I
have my cuffs back?
Oh, I already
gave them to you.
No, you didn't.
They're around
your left ankle.
Good night, Bill.
Matthew!
So Joe was right?
This was some sort
of a weird trick
to teach us a lesson?
No. Look. It was
a better deal.
It was a better deal,
plain and simple.
You still don't get
the beauty of that, do you?
To be honest, I don't get it.
I really don't.
All right, all right, listen up.
Getting millions of dollars
out of a corporation,
that's nothing.
That's done every day,
but getting almost 50 bucks
out of a secretary
who's going to have to
brown-bag it
for the rest of the month,
son, that's a deal
you write home about.
Uh-huh.
Okay, what?
Just admit it.
Admit what?
Admit that this station
means something to you
and the people that work here
mean something to you--
Of course they do.
And that's why
you didn't sell.
No, that's just crazy.
It was a sound business
decision, and that's it.
Oh, come on. Just admit it.
You let emotion
cloud the deal.
Just between you and me.
Okay, what's it
worth to you?
Uh, five bucks?
$10?
$7.50?
$8.00?
Done.
Okay.
These people
mean the world to me.
They're not like employees.
They're like family.
I can't imagine anything worse
than having to part with them.
There. You satisfied?
Yes.
Great. Nice doing business
with you, Dave.
5, 6, 7--Whoa!
I'm on a hot streak here.
I can't lose!
See you.
Joe?
Sorry, boss.
I'm still trying to figure out
where this one goes.
[♪]