Newhart (1982–1990): Season 3, Episode 16 - Look Homeward, Stephanie - full transcript
On a visit to Stephanie's home, Michael is wowed by her parent's incredible wealth while Stephanie discovers that being around it makes her mean-spirited and even more spoiled than usual. Meanwhile, despite Dick's best attempts, Joanna continues to guess what he's bought for her birthday presents.
[HAMMERING]
OH, MAID?
I BROKE A JAR OF COLD CREAM
IN OUR ROOM. NASTY MESS.
WE'LL BE OUT FOR 15 MINUTES.
HAVE IT DONE BY THEN.
[IMITATING] "NASTY MESS."
"NASTY MESS."
"HAVE IT DONE BY THEN."
HOW CAN PEOPLE
TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THAT?
OH, GUESTS TREAT ME
LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME.
I JUST SMILE, SHRUG,
AND DROP THEIR
LUGGAGE IN A PUDDLE.
GEORGE... WHEN THE
SPENCER'S CHECK OUT...
YOU GOT IT.
[HAMMERING]
[WHISPERS] GEORGE.
WHERE'S JOANNA?
[WHISPERS] I THINK
SHE'S UPSTAIRS.
[LOUDLY] GREAT!
[CLINGING]
I GOT A BIRTHDAY
PRESENT FOR HER.
I HOPE IT'S NOT TOMATO
PLANTS, A SPADE,
AND A WIDE-BRIMMED HAT.
THAT'S WHAT I GOT HER.
NO. NO, IT'S-IT'S BEAUTIFUL
CRYSTAL WIND CHIMES.
GOOD. NO OVERLAP.
GEORGE, WOULD YOU...
WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?
WOULD-WOULD YOU CALL
JOANNA AND HAVE HER GO OUTSIDE
WITH YOU, AND-AND THEN,
I'LL HIDE THE PRESENT
IN THE ATTIC.
GIVE IT UP, DICK. SHE
ALWAYS FINDS OUT
WHAT YOUR GIFT IS.
WELL, I'M-I'M CONFIDENT
THE LAST TEN YEARS HAVE
BEEN A FLUKE.
GO AHEAD AND CALL HER.
[CLEARS THROAT] JOANNA!
JOANNA!
RIGHT HERE, GEORGE.
WHAT'S THIS BOX
DOING ON THE STAIRS?
UH, NOTHING! NOTHING. YOU...
YOU DIDN'T OPEN IT, DID YOU?
NO.
SOUNDS LIKE WIND CHIMES.
WELL, IT'S-IT'S NOT!
AND... AND IT'S NOT
FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
[CLATTERING]
AND I'M NOT RETURNING IT.
HI, ALL! WHERE'S THAT
DAINTY BLONDE I LOVE TO DATE?
I THINK SHE'S UPSTAIRS,
BUT, UH, DON'T RULE OUT
THE BASEMENT.
STUPID, STUPID, STUPID GUEST.
HI, PEACHES.
YOU LOOK... MUSSED.
WELL, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
YOU DO BLUE-COLLAR WORK IN SILK.
[PHONE RINGING]
STRATFORD INN.
OH, YES, MRS. VANDERKELLEN.
SHE'S RIGHT HERE.
HOLD ON, PLEASE.
STEPHANIE? IT'S YOUR MOM.
SHE NEVER CALLS BEFORE NOON.
HELLO, MUMMY?
IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
OH, GOOD.
I WAS AFRAID THE STOCK MARKET
HAD GONE KAPLUEY OR SOMETHING.
WELL, IF YOU REALLY
WANT ME TO COME.
OKAY. I'LL SEE YOU THEN.
MY EX-HUSBAND CARL
IS GETTING MARRIED,
AND I'M GOING HOME
FOR HIS WEDDING.
THIS IS AN EXPRESSION
I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE,
SWEET PEA. IT'S ADORABLE,
BUT ARE YOU HAPPY OR SAD?
I HAVEN'T DECIDED.
CARL IS THE REASON
MY PARENTS CUT ME OFF.
THEY'VE NEVER FORGIVEN
ME FOR LEAVING AND BECOMING
A PATHETIC WRETCH WHO CLEANS UP
LUMPS OF COLD CREAM.
BUT THAT'S WHY I LEFT. TO
SHOW THEM I COULD MAKE
- MY OWN DECISIONS.
- I THOUGHT YOU LEFT HIM
- BECAUSE HE WAS
AN OLD COOT.
- THAT TOO.
[SIGHS] THIS IS GOING
TO BE DREADFUL.
[SIGHS] YOU WANT TO COME?
- WOW!
- THANK YOU, ROSE.
PLEASE TELL MUMMY
AND DADDY WE'VE ARRIVED.
YES, MISS.
WELCOME HOME.
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
OH, GOD.
GOOD TO BE BACK AMONG MAHOGANY
AND BRASS AND RICH EARTH TONES.
OH, MY. WOW!
MICHAEL, THAT'S ALL YOU'VE SAID
SINCE WE SET FOOT ON THE GROUND.
GROUND. WOW!
WILL YOU GIVE IT A REST?
I WANT THEM TO THINK YOU'RE
FIT FOR A VANDERKELLEN,
AND THEY WON'T UNLESS
YOU STOP SALIVATING.
I'LL WATCH IT.
[SCOFFS] I JUST WANT THEM
TO FEEL TOWARDS ME,
THE WAY I FEEL TOWARDS
ALL THESE THINGS!
OH! THAT'S THEM!
[INHALES] THIS IS IT!
I'M NOT GOING TO
LET THEM GET TO ME.
[EXHALES]
PRINCESS!
DADDY!
MUMMY!
MY, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU!
MUMMY, DADDY, I'D LIKE
YOU TO MEET MICHAEL HARRIS.
MICHAEL, HOW ARE YOU?
WOW.
LIKEWISE.
UH, STEPHANIE, SHALL I HAVE ROSE
BRING YOU AND YOUR
FRIEND SOMETHING TO DRINK?
WE'VE STOCKED UP ON PERRIER.
WE HAVE PERRIER IN VERMONT.
[SCOFFS] WE WEREN'T
IMPLYING THAT YOU DIDN'T.
I JUST THOUGHT YOU
MIGHT BE THIRSTY.
WELL, WE'RE NOT.
WELL, THEN, HOW ABOUT A SNACK?
JUST BECAUSE I'VE BEEN
GONE TWO YEARS, DOESN'T MEAN
I HAVEN'T EATEN.
UH, IF YOU WANT, AND I KNOW YOU
DO THIS IN VERMONT,
YOU COULD SIT DOWN.
[LAUGHS]
YOUR FATHER HAS SOMETHING
HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
YES. NOW, STEPHANIE, ABOUT
ALL THIS MAID BUSINESS...
PICK, PICK, PICK!
FIRST THE PERRIER INSINUATION.
AND THEN, THAT JAB
ABOUT THE SNACK.
AND NOW, YOU'RE
HARASSING ME ABOUT MY JOB.
WHAT'S YOUR NEXT
TARGET? MY BOYFRIEND?
TO FINISH WHAT YOUR FATHER
WAS SAYING, WE WERE WRONG.
WE WERE WRONG TO
PRESSURE YOU TO MARRY CARL.
WE WERE WRONG TO
GIVE YOU AN ULTIMATUM.
WE WERE WRONG TO CUT YOU OFF.
OH.
THIS IS A DREAM, RIGHT?
NO, I AGREE WITH YOUR
MOTHER. SHE WAS WRONG.
AND I WASN'T AS
RIGHT AS I USUALLY AM.
WE JUST WANT YOU BACK
HOME WHERE YOU BELONG.
FROM NOW ON, NO
MORE INTERFERING.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, DEAR?
WELL, SINCE YOU ASKED
NICELY, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. YES.
WELL, THAT'S
JUST... HERE'S $200.
THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION.
UH, ROSE, WE'RE READY!
OH, GOOD! YOU KNOW...
COGNAC IS NEVER QUITE
RIGHT UNTIL IT'S REACHED
THE CENTURY MARK.
WOW!
I LIKE THIS BOY!
YOU DO?
- YOU-YOU DO?
- YES.
YOU SOMETIMES FORGET TO
APPRECIATE ALL THE THINGS
YOU HAVE UNTIL YOU SEE THEM
THROUGH THE EYES OF SOMEONE
WHO IS A GOG.
WELL, MY PLEASURE. OH, I'M...
- OH!
- OH, DEAR!
OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
LITTLE SELTZER
WHILE IT'S STILL WET,
WILL TAKE THAT RIGHT OUT.
SEE?
OH, DEAR.
THAT IS ALL, ROSE.
WELL, UH... WELCOME
HOME, STEPHANIE!
AND NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON.
OKAY. YOU CAN OPEN THEM.
YOUR ROOM, RIGHT?
RIGHT. [CHUCKLES]
TALK ABOUT THE LAP OF LUXURY.
MICHAEL...
IT'S NOT LIKE I
WAS A SPOILED KID.
I HAD TO EARN
EVERYTHING IN THIS ROOM.
I GOT THIS FOR FINISHING
FINISHING SCHOOL.
AND I GOT THIS...
FOR EATING LIVER.
AND I GOT THIS... FOR
NOT DATING A MARINE.
HELLO, ALL MY THINGS!
STEPHY'S BACK FOR GOOD.
- HMM.
- STEPH, THIS IS ALL
HAPPENING SO FAST.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
IT MEANS I'M THE HAPPIEST
PERSON IN THE WORLD.
NO, WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO ME?
MICHAEL, WHAT'S WRONG?
YOU'RE RUINING MY MOOD.
STEPH, YOUR PARENTS
EVER LET PEOPLE VISIT, SAY...
PERMANENTLY?
OH.
THEY DO WHEN I SAY
"PLEASE," AND LOOK LIKE THIS.
- WOULD YOU?
- OH, MICHAEL.
ALL OF THESE THINGS WITHOUT YOU
WOULD ONLY BE... NEARLY AS NICE.
OH, STEPH, THIS IS
ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS
PEOPLE CAPTURE IN COUNTRY MUSIC.
[BOTH GIGGLE]
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
[KNOCKING]
COME IN!
WOULD THIS BE A GOOD TIME
FOR ME TO UNPACK YOUR BAGS?
OH, DON'T BOTHER. I PACKED THEM.
I CAN UNPACK THEM.
YOU'VE CHANGED, MISS.
I HAVE?
WELL, MY HAIR'S A LITTLE
CURLIER. DO YOU LIKE IT?
VERY MUCH.
YOU WERE SAYING?
OH, YES.
[KNOCKING]
- HI!
- HI, MRS. V.
IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
DID YOU NOTICE WE RESTOCKED
YOUR MAKE UP TABLE?
OH!
AND I'VE GOT YOU A
NEW SOCIAL CALENDAR.
OH!
[EXHALES] IT'S ALL FILLED UP.
EVERY SINGLE MINUTE.
JUST FOR TWO WEEKS.
WE'LL FILL IN THE REST LATER.
WELL, WE'LL SEE
YOU FOR DINNER AT...
SEVEN.
OH, AND CHANGE
YOUR PERFUME, DEAR.
WE'RE HAVING VEAL.
[WHISPERS] GEORGE.
- WHERE'S JOANNA?
- IN THE KITCHEN.
I-I GOT HER A REAL
WINNER THIS TIME.
THEY'RE HAVING A
QUILT SALE AT BENFORD'S
AND I SNAGGED A BEAUTY.
HI, HONEY.
HI. WHERE-WHERE...
WHERE YOU GOING?
WELL, THAT QUILT SALE AT
BENFORD'S ENDS TOMORROW.
I'M GONNA BREAK
DOWN AND BUY ONE.
BE BACK IN HALF AN HOUR.
[STAMMERS] I MEAN,
DON'T... DON'T YOU THINK,
YOU KNOW, WE
SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT?
I MEAN, EVEN ON SALE, YOU
KNOW, THOSE THINGS ARE...
ARE PRETTY EXPENSIVE.
- I HAVE SOME MONEY SAVED.
- YEAH, WELL, I-I...
I THOUGHT... I
THOUGHT YOU WERE...
YOU WERE SAVING THAT
FOR THE... THE MICROWAVE.
- I'D RATHER HAVE THIS.
- YEAH, BUT, I...
YOU KNOW, A... A QUILT CAN'T
COOK A HOTDOG IN TWO MINUTES.
YEAH, BUT A MICROWAVE
WOULD LOOK SILLY ON THE BED.
[CHUCKLES]
I BOUGHT THE QUILT, ALL RIGHT?
YOU DID?
FOR MY BIRTHDAY?
NO! NOT... NOT FOR
YOUR BIRTHDAY.
FOR... FOR MONDAY.
JUST AN-AN
INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE...
MONDAY GIFT.
BUT STEPHANIE, I THOUGHT
YOU'D WANT TO TOAST
THE BRIDE AND GROOM.
MOTHER, IT WAS
UNCOMFORTABLE ENOUGH,
SEEING CARL MARRY THAT BIMBETTE
WITHOUT BEING FORCED PUBLICLY
TO GIVE THEM MY BLESSING.
I JUST WASN'T PREPARED.
OF COURSE, YOU WERE PREPARED.
WE WROTE THE WORDS DOWN FOR YOU,
ON A PIECE OF PAPER.
I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL VICKY
THAT MY LOSS WAS HER GAIN.
[EXHALES] AND TODAY, YOU
TELL ME WHAT YOU WEAR. ME!
STEPHANIE, YOU WERE
ABOUT TO ATTEND THE WEDDING
OF AN EX-HUSBAND IN SAPPHIRES.
YOU AND DADDY ARE STILL
TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD.
I THOUGHT YOU LIKED THAT.
WELL, I DO.
WITHIN REASON.
I THINK IF THIS IS
HOW IT'S GOING TO BE,
MICHAEL AND I SHOULD LEAVE.
- STEPH!
- STEPHANIE!
NOW, YOU KNOW
YOU DON'T MEAN THAT.
I SAID IT, DIDN'T I?
- STEPHANIE, PLEASE.
- YES, PLEASE!
I'LL LET YOU HANDLE
THE PLEADING.
TELL DADDY TO MAKE
THE ARRANGEMENTS.
WHERE DID YOUR NANNY GO WRONG?
OKAY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WE CAN'T LEAVE ALL THIS.
WE LIKE IT TOO MUCH.
MICHAEL, IT'S MORE
COMPLICATED THAN THAT.
BEING HERE MAKES
ME FEEL... ICKY.
STEPHANIE, YOUR MOTHER
JUST TOLD ME ABOUT
THIS UGLY ROW THE
TWO OF YOU HAVE HAD.
NOW, IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN SAY TO MAKE YOU
CHANGE YOUR MIND AND STAY?
NO.
PRINCESS, I KNOW I HAVEN'T
SAID THIS ENOUGH TO YOU,
BUT... I BOUGHT YOU A CAR.
A LAMBORGHINI?
REGAL RED.
WELL, SINCE YOU ASKED
NICELY, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
YES, I'LL STAY FOREVER.
MORNING, STEPH! AND CREW.
MICHAEL, I'M ABSOLUTELY PARCHED.
DRAW ME A DIET COLA.
OH, STEPH, WHAT A DAY I'VE HAD.
I'VE BEEN SWIMMING.
AND I SAW A 3-D MOVIE.
AND I NEVER LEFT THIS WING.
[INHALES] THIS IS A
REALLY NICE HOUSE.
YOU FORGOT THE LIME.
STEPH, CAN WE WALK AROUND
THE GROUNDS TOGETHER TODAY?
UH, NOT TODAY, MICHAEL.
THE MASSEUSE IS COMING AT THREE.
AND MY SEAMSTRESS AT FOUR.
AND AFTER THAT, A BUNCH OF GIRLS
INVITED ME TO TALK
ABOUT A BUNCH OF GIRLS
WHO WEREN'T INVITED OVER.
[SIGHS] BOY, WELL...
BUSY, BUSY, BUSY.
LISTEN, PRINCESS.
SOME INVESTORS FROM ATHENS
ARE ARRIVING NEXT TUESDAY,
SO I'VE ARRANGED FOR A
TUTOR TO TEACH YOU JUST A FEW
PHRASES IN GREEK.
SO FAR, I HATE IT.
WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU LIKE IT?
WELL, THAT STUPID RADIO STATION
OF YOURS PLAYED SOMETHING
THAT OFFENDED ME AGAIN.
NOW, PRINCESS, THEY SWORE TO
ME THEY DESTROYED EVERY VERSION
THEY HAD OF THE
DA DOO RON RON...
UH... RON.
NOT THAT.
THE NEWS. MAKE THEM STOP.
BUT SWEETHEART, WE HAVE
TO BROADCAST THE NEWS.
IT'S THE LAW.
WELL, CAN'T YOU DO
IT ALL IN ONE CLUMP
WHEN I'M ASLEEP?
I DON'T THINK SO.
WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO LEARN
MUCH GREEK IF I'M DEPRESSED
BY ROBBERIES AND
KILLINGS AND SHOOTINGS.
I'LL CHECK IF THERE ARE ANY
REGULATIONS ABOUT CLUMPING,
AND YOU'RE FIRST LESSON
STARTS TOMORROW.
WHOA. KIND OF THE HOME
VERSION OF LET'S MAKE A DEAL.
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A STRAW?
OW! [SCOFFS]
STUPID! GET OUT OF HERE!
AND TAKE YOUR
TORTURE TOOLS WITH YOU!
OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT!
STEPHANIE, LOOK WHAT I GOT YOU.
I WANTED THE JACKET.
BUT THREE QUARTER LENGTHS
ARE ALL THE RAGE THIS YEAR.
I WANT THE JACKET!
I WANT THE JACKET!
I WANT THE JACKET!
I'LL GET YOU BOTH.
STEPH? CAN WE TALK?
IF IT'S BRIEF.
I-I COULDN'T HELP NOTICING...
THIS PLACE HAS CHANGED US.
IT'S MADE ME HAPPY.
IT SEEMS TO BE MAKING YOU...
MORE ASSERTIVE.
SELF-CONFIDENT. CHILD-LIKE.
CHILDISH.
AND BASICALLY, UH... MEAN.
BUT YOU WEAR IT WELL.
WELL, I GOT JOANNA A GIFT.
[WHISPERS] SHE'S UPSTAIRS, DICK.
DON'T WORRY, GEORGE.
THIS TIME, I GOT HER
A PRESENT THAT SHE CAN'T SEE,
HEAR OR TOUCH.
I'M STUMPED.
WELL, I PHONED THIS
ASTRONOMICAL SOCIETY.
AND I HAD A STAR
NAMED AFTER HER.
UP SOMEWHERE BETWEEN
POLARIS AND SIRIUS,
IS GONNA BE "JOANNA."
WOW! BUT YOU CAN SEE STARS.
NOT THIS BABY.
NOT WITHOUT A SERIOUSLY
POWERFUL TELESCOPE.
BOY, SHE'LL LIKE THAT.
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT, GEORGE.
WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT
SHE WILL NEVER GUESS IT.
I WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT?
I BOUGHT YOU A BIRTHDAY PRESENT
THAT YOU WILL NEVER GUESS.
NEVER. [SIGHS]
HONEY, I DON'T WANT TO GUESS.
OKAY. I'LL GIVE YOU A CLUE.
YOU CAN'T SEE IT,
HEAR IT, OR TOUCH IT.
I HAVEN'T GOT THE FOGGIEST IDEA.
OH, SURE. I, FINALLY,
COME UP WITH A PRESENT
THAT YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY GUESS,
AND YOU WON'T EVEN GIVE
ME THE SIMPLE PLEASURE
OF GUESSING WRONG.
UH... YOU GOT ME A BLOCK OF AIR.
WRONG. INCORRECT. WAY OFF. BEEP!
GOOD.
YOU HAD ONE OF THOSE
STARS NAMED AFTER ME.
WHOA!
UH-OH.
OH, YEAH? JUST TRY
TO GUESS WHICH ONE!
AMALGAMATED LIMITED WENT UNDER.
SOMETHING YOU DID?
I THINK SO.
MUMMY!
YOUR MANICURIST WAS
SUPPOSED TO MATCH THE POLISH
TO MY DRESS. AND LOOK AT THIS.
[SCOFFS] WELL, WE'LL JUST
BUY YOU A NEW DRESS.
I WANT TO WEAR THIS ONE.
OH! OH, DAMN!
STUPID COFFEE! ROSE!
DON'T WORRY. ALL YOU DO
WITH A COFFEE STAIN
IS USE A LITTLE SALT
AND COLD WATER TO
KEEP IT FROM SETTING.
WHAT?
I WAS SAYING THIS WILL
COME RIGHT OUT WITH
- A LITTLE SALT AND COLD...
- I DON'T CARE HOW YOU DO IT!
JUST CLEAN THE NASTY MESS.
YES, MA'AM.
THE DRESS IS ALL RIGHT. I'LL
GET YOU A NEW MANICURIST.
ROSE!
I'M SORRY I SNAPPED.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?
HOW COULD I TREAT HER LIKE THAT?
YOU'RE JUST BEING STEPHANIE.
I AM?
BUT I YELLED AT HER.
WELL, YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN
HIGH STRUNG AND DEMANDING.
YOU HAVE THOSE HIGH
VANDERKELLEN STANDARDS.
BUT I'M SUCH A SNOT.
OH, DARLING, NOBODY MINDS.
I DO.
I DON'T THINK I SHOULD
STAY HERE ANYMORE.
- WHAT?
- SWEETHEART, WE'VE BEEN
OVER THIS ALREADY.
HAVEN'T YOU BEEN ENJOYING
YOUR LITTLE LAMBORGHINI?
YES.
BUT...
I THINK I NEED TO GO
BACK TO VERMONT.
PREFERABLY IN THE LAMBORGHINI.
UNTIL I DECIDE WHO
IT IS I WANT TO BE.
WELL, THAT'S EASY. YOU
WANT TO BE OUR STEPHANIE.
RICHER THAN ALL GET OUT.
NO, I DON'T.
I MEAN, WELL...
I WANT TO BE RICH BEYOND BELIEF,
THAT'S A GIVEN.
BUT...
I REALLY CAN'T STAND HOW I
GET WHEN I'M IN THIS HOUSE.
WELL, GO TO THE HOUSE IN ARUBA.
NO, IT'S NOT THE HOUSE. IT'S US.
HOW CAN I FIX IT?
WHAT DOES MY LITTLE GIRL WANT?
SHE WANTS TO BE... INDEPENDENT.
SHE WANTS TO GO BACK TO VERMONT.
SHE WANTS AN ANSWER
ABOUT THE LAMBORGHINI.
LAMBORGHINI IS YOURS
WHENEVER YOU'RE HERE.
FINE.
MAYBE I'LL VISIT IT SOMETIME.
[CLICKS INTERCOM] BRING
THE LIMO AROUND, RIGHT AWAY.
[CLICKS] PLEASE.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
THERE WON'T BE TIME
TO PACK. SEND OUR BAGS.
- STOP HER!
- HE CAN'T!
NOT THIS TIME.
BOY, GRASS COURTS
ARE THE WAY TO GO.
OH, GOD. PLEASE LET
SOMEONE HAVE DIED.
MICHAEL...
- WE'RE LEAVING NOW.
- WHY DON'T YOU JUST
PUNCH THIS RACKET
THROUGH MY SPLEEN?
MICHAEL, YOU SAID YESTERDAY
YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE
WAY I WAS ACTING.
I SAID YOU WERE ACTING
MEAN. I DIDN'T SAY I DIDN'T LIKE IT.
- STEPHANIE!
- GOOD-BYE, MUMMY.
THE DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN.
YOU MAY NOT THINK
WE'RE THE BEST PARENTS,
BUT WE'RE BETTER
THAN MINIMUM WAGE.
THINK ABOUT IT.
GOOD-BYE, DADDY.
DO YOU NEED ANYTHING?
JUST A HUG.
STAY IN TOUCH.
YOUR MOTHER WORRIES SO.
I'M GONNA MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH!
[STEPHANIE] MICHAEL!
I CAN'T HELP IT.
I LIKE THAT BOY.
MEOW.
OH, MAID?
I BROKE A JAR OF COLD CREAM
IN OUR ROOM. NASTY MESS.
WE'LL BE OUT FOR 15 MINUTES.
HAVE IT DONE BY THEN.
[IMITATING] "NASTY MESS."
"NASTY MESS."
"HAVE IT DONE BY THEN."
HOW CAN PEOPLE
TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THAT?
OH, GUESTS TREAT ME
LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME.
I JUST SMILE, SHRUG,
AND DROP THEIR
LUGGAGE IN A PUDDLE.
GEORGE... WHEN THE
SPENCER'S CHECK OUT...
YOU GOT IT.
[HAMMERING]
[WHISPERS] GEORGE.
WHERE'S JOANNA?
[WHISPERS] I THINK
SHE'S UPSTAIRS.
[LOUDLY] GREAT!
[CLINGING]
I GOT A BIRTHDAY
PRESENT FOR HER.
I HOPE IT'S NOT TOMATO
PLANTS, A SPADE,
AND A WIDE-BRIMMED HAT.
THAT'S WHAT I GOT HER.
NO. NO, IT'S-IT'S BEAUTIFUL
CRYSTAL WIND CHIMES.
GOOD. NO OVERLAP.
GEORGE, WOULD YOU...
WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?
WOULD-WOULD YOU CALL
JOANNA AND HAVE HER GO OUTSIDE
WITH YOU, AND-AND THEN,
I'LL HIDE THE PRESENT
IN THE ATTIC.
GIVE IT UP, DICK. SHE
ALWAYS FINDS OUT
WHAT YOUR GIFT IS.
WELL, I'M-I'M CONFIDENT
THE LAST TEN YEARS HAVE
BEEN A FLUKE.
GO AHEAD AND CALL HER.
[CLEARS THROAT] JOANNA!
JOANNA!
RIGHT HERE, GEORGE.
WHAT'S THIS BOX
DOING ON THE STAIRS?
UH, NOTHING! NOTHING. YOU...
YOU DIDN'T OPEN IT, DID YOU?
NO.
SOUNDS LIKE WIND CHIMES.
WELL, IT'S-IT'S NOT!
AND... AND IT'S NOT
FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
[CLATTERING]
AND I'M NOT RETURNING IT.
HI, ALL! WHERE'S THAT
DAINTY BLONDE I LOVE TO DATE?
I THINK SHE'S UPSTAIRS,
BUT, UH, DON'T RULE OUT
THE BASEMENT.
STUPID, STUPID, STUPID GUEST.
HI, PEACHES.
YOU LOOK... MUSSED.
WELL, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
YOU DO BLUE-COLLAR WORK IN SILK.
[PHONE RINGING]
STRATFORD INN.
OH, YES, MRS. VANDERKELLEN.
SHE'S RIGHT HERE.
HOLD ON, PLEASE.
STEPHANIE? IT'S YOUR MOM.
SHE NEVER CALLS BEFORE NOON.
HELLO, MUMMY?
IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
OH, GOOD.
I WAS AFRAID THE STOCK MARKET
HAD GONE KAPLUEY OR SOMETHING.
WELL, IF YOU REALLY
WANT ME TO COME.
OKAY. I'LL SEE YOU THEN.
MY EX-HUSBAND CARL
IS GETTING MARRIED,
AND I'M GOING HOME
FOR HIS WEDDING.
THIS IS AN EXPRESSION
I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE,
SWEET PEA. IT'S ADORABLE,
BUT ARE YOU HAPPY OR SAD?
I HAVEN'T DECIDED.
CARL IS THE REASON
MY PARENTS CUT ME OFF.
THEY'VE NEVER FORGIVEN
ME FOR LEAVING AND BECOMING
A PATHETIC WRETCH WHO CLEANS UP
LUMPS OF COLD CREAM.
BUT THAT'S WHY I LEFT. TO
SHOW THEM I COULD MAKE
- MY OWN DECISIONS.
- I THOUGHT YOU LEFT HIM
- BECAUSE HE WAS
AN OLD COOT.
- THAT TOO.
[SIGHS] THIS IS GOING
TO BE DREADFUL.
[SIGHS] YOU WANT TO COME?
- WOW!
- THANK YOU, ROSE.
PLEASE TELL MUMMY
AND DADDY WE'VE ARRIVED.
YES, MISS.
WELCOME HOME.
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
OH, GOD.
GOOD TO BE BACK AMONG MAHOGANY
AND BRASS AND RICH EARTH TONES.
OH, MY. WOW!
MICHAEL, THAT'S ALL YOU'VE SAID
SINCE WE SET FOOT ON THE GROUND.
GROUND. WOW!
WILL YOU GIVE IT A REST?
I WANT THEM TO THINK YOU'RE
FIT FOR A VANDERKELLEN,
AND THEY WON'T UNLESS
YOU STOP SALIVATING.
I'LL WATCH IT.
[SCOFFS] I JUST WANT THEM
TO FEEL TOWARDS ME,
THE WAY I FEEL TOWARDS
ALL THESE THINGS!
OH! THAT'S THEM!
[INHALES] THIS IS IT!
I'M NOT GOING TO
LET THEM GET TO ME.
[EXHALES]
PRINCESS!
DADDY!
MUMMY!
MY, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU!
MUMMY, DADDY, I'D LIKE
YOU TO MEET MICHAEL HARRIS.
MICHAEL, HOW ARE YOU?
WOW.
LIKEWISE.
UH, STEPHANIE, SHALL I HAVE ROSE
BRING YOU AND YOUR
FRIEND SOMETHING TO DRINK?
WE'VE STOCKED UP ON PERRIER.
WE HAVE PERRIER IN VERMONT.
[SCOFFS] WE WEREN'T
IMPLYING THAT YOU DIDN'T.
I JUST THOUGHT YOU
MIGHT BE THIRSTY.
WELL, WE'RE NOT.
WELL, THEN, HOW ABOUT A SNACK?
JUST BECAUSE I'VE BEEN
GONE TWO YEARS, DOESN'T MEAN
I HAVEN'T EATEN.
UH, IF YOU WANT, AND I KNOW YOU
DO THIS IN VERMONT,
YOU COULD SIT DOWN.
[LAUGHS]
YOUR FATHER HAS SOMETHING
HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
YES. NOW, STEPHANIE, ABOUT
ALL THIS MAID BUSINESS...
PICK, PICK, PICK!
FIRST THE PERRIER INSINUATION.
AND THEN, THAT JAB
ABOUT THE SNACK.
AND NOW, YOU'RE
HARASSING ME ABOUT MY JOB.
WHAT'S YOUR NEXT
TARGET? MY BOYFRIEND?
TO FINISH WHAT YOUR FATHER
WAS SAYING, WE WERE WRONG.
WE WERE WRONG TO
PRESSURE YOU TO MARRY CARL.
WE WERE WRONG TO
GIVE YOU AN ULTIMATUM.
WE WERE WRONG TO CUT YOU OFF.
OH.
THIS IS A DREAM, RIGHT?
NO, I AGREE WITH YOUR
MOTHER. SHE WAS WRONG.
AND I WASN'T AS
RIGHT AS I USUALLY AM.
WE JUST WANT YOU BACK
HOME WHERE YOU BELONG.
FROM NOW ON, NO
MORE INTERFERING.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, DEAR?
WELL, SINCE YOU ASKED
NICELY, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. YES.
WELL, THAT'S
JUST... HERE'S $200.
THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION.
UH, ROSE, WE'RE READY!
OH, GOOD! YOU KNOW...
COGNAC IS NEVER QUITE
RIGHT UNTIL IT'S REACHED
THE CENTURY MARK.
WOW!
I LIKE THIS BOY!
YOU DO?
- YOU-YOU DO?
- YES.
YOU SOMETIMES FORGET TO
APPRECIATE ALL THE THINGS
YOU HAVE UNTIL YOU SEE THEM
THROUGH THE EYES OF SOMEONE
WHO IS A GOG.
WELL, MY PLEASURE. OH, I'M...
- OH!
- OH, DEAR!
OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
LITTLE SELTZER
WHILE IT'S STILL WET,
WILL TAKE THAT RIGHT OUT.
SEE?
OH, DEAR.
THAT IS ALL, ROSE.
WELL, UH... WELCOME
HOME, STEPHANIE!
AND NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON.
OKAY. YOU CAN OPEN THEM.
YOUR ROOM, RIGHT?
RIGHT. [CHUCKLES]
TALK ABOUT THE LAP OF LUXURY.
MICHAEL...
IT'S NOT LIKE I
WAS A SPOILED KID.
I HAD TO EARN
EVERYTHING IN THIS ROOM.
I GOT THIS FOR FINISHING
FINISHING SCHOOL.
AND I GOT THIS...
FOR EATING LIVER.
AND I GOT THIS... FOR
NOT DATING A MARINE.
HELLO, ALL MY THINGS!
STEPHY'S BACK FOR GOOD.
- HMM.
- STEPH, THIS IS ALL
HAPPENING SO FAST.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
IT MEANS I'M THE HAPPIEST
PERSON IN THE WORLD.
NO, WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO ME?
MICHAEL, WHAT'S WRONG?
YOU'RE RUINING MY MOOD.
STEPH, YOUR PARENTS
EVER LET PEOPLE VISIT, SAY...
PERMANENTLY?
OH.
THEY DO WHEN I SAY
"PLEASE," AND LOOK LIKE THIS.
- WOULD YOU?
- OH, MICHAEL.
ALL OF THESE THINGS WITHOUT YOU
WOULD ONLY BE... NEARLY AS NICE.
OH, STEPH, THIS IS
ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS
PEOPLE CAPTURE IN COUNTRY MUSIC.
[BOTH GIGGLE]
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
[KNOCKING]
COME IN!
WOULD THIS BE A GOOD TIME
FOR ME TO UNPACK YOUR BAGS?
OH, DON'T BOTHER. I PACKED THEM.
I CAN UNPACK THEM.
YOU'VE CHANGED, MISS.
I HAVE?
WELL, MY HAIR'S A LITTLE
CURLIER. DO YOU LIKE IT?
VERY MUCH.
YOU WERE SAYING?
OH, YES.
[KNOCKING]
- HI!
- HI, MRS. V.
IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
DID YOU NOTICE WE RESTOCKED
YOUR MAKE UP TABLE?
OH!
AND I'VE GOT YOU A
NEW SOCIAL CALENDAR.
OH!
[EXHALES] IT'S ALL FILLED UP.
EVERY SINGLE MINUTE.
JUST FOR TWO WEEKS.
WE'LL FILL IN THE REST LATER.
WELL, WE'LL SEE
YOU FOR DINNER AT...
SEVEN.
OH, AND CHANGE
YOUR PERFUME, DEAR.
WE'RE HAVING VEAL.
[WHISPERS] GEORGE.
- WHERE'S JOANNA?
- IN THE KITCHEN.
I-I GOT HER A REAL
WINNER THIS TIME.
THEY'RE HAVING A
QUILT SALE AT BENFORD'S
AND I SNAGGED A BEAUTY.
HI, HONEY.
HI. WHERE-WHERE...
WHERE YOU GOING?
WELL, THAT QUILT SALE AT
BENFORD'S ENDS TOMORROW.
I'M GONNA BREAK
DOWN AND BUY ONE.
BE BACK IN HALF AN HOUR.
[STAMMERS] I MEAN,
DON'T... DON'T YOU THINK,
YOU KNOW, WE
SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT?
I MEAN, EVEN ON SALE, YOU
KNOW, THOSE THINGS ARE...
ARE PRETTY EXPENSIVE.
- I HAVE SOME MONEY SAVED.
- YEAH, WELL, I-I...
I THOUGHT... I
THOUGHT YOU WERE...
YOU WERE SAVING THAT
FOR THE... THE MICROWAVE.
- I'D RATHER HAVE THIS.
- YEAH, BUT, I...
YOU KNOW, A... A QUILT CAN'T
COOK A HOTDOG IN TWO MINUTES.
YEAH, BUT A MICROWAVE
WOULD LOOK SILLY ON THE BED.
[CHUCKLES]
I BOUGHT THE QUILT, ALL RIGHT?
YOU DID?
FOR MY BIRTHDAY?
NO! NOT... NOT FOR
YOUR BIRTHDAY.
FOR... FOR MONDAY.
JUST AN-AN
INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE...
MONDAY GIFT.
BUT STEPHANIE, I THOUGHT
YOU'D WANT TO TOAST
THE BRIDE AND GROOM.
MOTHER, IT WAS
UNCOMFORTABLE ENOUGH,
SEEING CARL MARRY THAT BIMBETTE
WITHOUT BEING FORCED PUBLICLY
TO GIVE THEM MY BLESSING.
I JUST WASN'T PREPARED.
OF COURSE, YOU WERE PREPARED.
WE WROTE THE WORDS DOWN FOR YOU,
ON A PIECE OF PAPER.
I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL VICKY
THAT MY LOSS WAS HER GAIN.
[EXHALES] AND TODAY, YOU
TELL ME WHAT YOU WEAR. ME!
STEPHANIE, YOU WERE
ABOUT TO ATTEND THE WEDDING
OF AN EX-HUSBAND IN SAPPHIRES.
YOU AND DADDY ARE STILL
TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD.
I THOUGHT YOU LIKED THAT.
WELL, I DO.
WITHIN REASON.
I THINK IF THIS IS
HOW IT'S GOING TO BE,
MICHAEL AND I SHOULD LEAVE.
- STEPH!
- STEPHANIE!
NOW, YOU KNOW
YOU DON'T MEAN THAT.
I SAID IT, DIDN'T I?
- STEPHANIE, PLEASE.
- YES, PLEASE!
I'LL LET YOU HANDLE
THE PLEADING.
TELL DADDY TO MAKE
THE ARRANGEMENTS.
WHERE DID YOUR NANNY GO WRONG?
OKAY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WE CAN'T LEAVE ALL THIS.
WE LIKE IT TOO MUCH.
MICHAEL, IT'S MORE
COMPLICATED THAN THAT.
BEING HERE MAKES
ME FEEL... ICKY.
STEPHANIE, YOUR MOTHER
JUST TOLD ME ABOUT
THIS UGLY ROW THE
TWO OF YOU HAVE HAD.
NOW, IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN SAY TO MAKE YOU
CHANGE YOUR MIND AND STAY?
NO.
PRINCESS, I KNOW I HAVEN'T
SAID THIS ENOUGH TO YOU,
BUT... I BOUGHT YOU A CAR.
A LAMBORGHINI?
REGAL RED.
WELL, SINCE YOU ASKED
NICELY, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
YES, I'LL STAY FOREVER.
MORNING, STEPH! AND CREW.
MICHAEL, I'M ABSOLUTELY PARCHED.
DRAW ME A DIET COLA.
OH, STEPH, WHAT A DAY I'VE HAD.
I'VE BEEN SWIMMING.
AND I SAW A 3-D MOVIE.
AND I NEVER LEFT THIS WING.
[INHALES] THIS IS A
REALLY NICE HOUSE.
YOU FORGOT THE LIME.
STEPH, CAN WE WALK AROUND
THE GROUNDS TOGETHER TODAY?
UH, NOT TODAY, MICHAEL.
THE MASSEUSE IS COMING AT THREE.
AND MY SEAMSTRESS AT FOUR.
AND AFTER THAT, A BUNCH OF GIRLS
INVITED ME TO TALK
ABOUT A BUNCH OF GIRLS
WHO WEREN'T INVITED OVER.
[SIGHS] BOY, WELL...
BUSY, BUSY, BUSY.
LISTEN, PRINCESS.
SOME INVESTORS FROM ATHENS
ARE ARRIVING NEXT TUESDAY,
SO I'VE ARRANGED FOR A
TUTOR TO TEACH YOU JUST A FEW
PHRASES IN GREEK.
SO FAR, I HATE IT.
WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU LIKE IT?
WELL, THAT STUPID RADIO STATION
OF YOURS PLAYED SOMETHING
THAT OFFENDED ME AGAIN.
NOW, PRINCESS, THEY SWORE TO
ME THEY DESTROYED EVERY VERSION
THEY HAD OF THE
DA DOO RON RON...
UH... RON.
NOT THAT.
THE NEWS. MAKE THEM STOP.
BUT SWEETHEART, WE HAVE
TO BROADCAST THE NEWS.
IT'S THE LAW.
WELL, CAN'T YOU DO
IT ALL IN ONE CLUMP
WHEN I'M ASLEEP?
I DON'T THINK SO.
WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO LEARN
MUCH GREEK IF I'M DEPRESSED
BY ROBBERIES AND
KILLINGS AND SHOOTINGS.
I'LL CHECK IF THERE ARE ANY
REGULATIONS ABOUT CLUMPING,
AND YOU'RE FIRST LESSON
STARTS TOMORROW.
WHOA. KIND OF THE HOME
VERSION OF LET'S MAKE A DEAL.
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A STRAW?
OW! [SCOFFS]
STUPID! GET OUT OF HERE!
AND TAKE YOUR
TORTURE TOOLS WITH YOU!
OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT!
STEPHANIE, LOOK WHAT I GOT YOU.
I WANTED THE JACKET.
BUT THREE QUARTER LENGTHS
ARE ALL THE RAGE THIS YEAR.
I WANT THE JACKET!
I WANT THE JACKET!
I WANT THE JACKET!
I'LL GET YOU BOTH.
STEPH? CAN WE TALK?
IF IT'S BRIEF.
I-I COULDN'T HELP NOTICING...
THIS PLACE HAS CHANGED US.
IT'S MADE ME HAPPY.
IT SEEMS TO BE MAKING YOU...
MORE ASSERTIVE.
SELF-CONFIDENT. CHILD-LIKE.
CHILDISH.
AND BASICALLY, UH... MEAN.
BUT YOU WEAR IT WELL.
WELL, I GOT JOANNA A GIFT.
[WHISPERS] SHE'S UPSTAIRS, DICK.
DON'T WORRY, GEORGE.
THIS TIME, I GOT HER
A PRESENT THAT SHE CAN'T SEE,
HEAR OR TOUCH.
I'M STUMPED.
WELL, I PHONED THIS
ASTRONOMICAL SOCIETY.
AND I HAD A STAR
NAMED AFTER HER.
UP SOMEWHERE BETWEEN
POLARIS AND SIRIUS,
IS GONNA BE "JOANNA."
WOW! BUT YOU CAN SEE STARS.
NOT THIS BABY.
NOT WITHOUT A SERIOUSLY
POWERFUL TELESCOPE.
BOY, SHE'LL LIKE THAT.
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT, GEORGE.
WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT
SHE WILL NEVER GUESS IT.
I WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT?
I BOUGHT YOU A BIRTHDAY PRESENT
THAT YOU WILL NEVER GUESS.
NEVER. [SIGHS]
HONEY, I DON'T WANT TO GUESS.
OKAY. I'LL GIVE YOU A CLUE.
YOU CAN'T SEE IT,
HEAR IT, OR TOUCH IT.
I HAVEN'T GOT THE FOGGIEST IDEA.
OH, SURE. I, FINALLY,
COME UP WITH A PRESENT
THAT YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY GUESS,
AND YOU WON'T EVEN GIVE
ME THE SIMPLE PLEASURE
OF GUESSING WRONG.
UH... YOU GOT ME A BLOCK OF AIR.
WRONG. INCORRECT. WAY OFF. BEEP!
GOOD.
YOU HAD ONE OF THOSE
STARS NAMED AFTER ME.
WHOA!
UH-OH.
OH, YEAH? JUST TRY
TO GUESS WHICH ONE!
AMALGAMATED LIMITED WENT UNDER.
SOMETHING YOU DID?
I THINK SO.
MUMMY!
YOUR MANICURIST WAS
SUPPOSED TO MATCH THE POLISH
TO MY DRESS. AND LOOK AT THIS.
[SCOFFS] WELL, WE'LL JUST
BUY YOU A NEW DRESS.
I WANT TO WEAR THIS ONE.
OH! OH, DAMN!
STUPID COFFEE! ROSE!
DON'T WORRY. ALL YOU DO
WITH A COFFEE STAIN
IS USE A LITTLE SALT
AND COLD WATER TO
KEEP IT FROM SETTING.
WHAT?
I WAS SAYING THIS WILL
COME RIGHT OUT WITH
- A LITTLE SALT AND COLD...
- I DON'T CARE HOW YOU DO IT!
JUST CLEAN THE NASTY MESS.
YES, MA'AM.
THE DRESS IS ALL RIGHT. I'LL
GET YOU A NEW MANICURIST.
ROSE!
I'M SORRY I SNAPPED.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?
HOW COULD I TREAT HER LIKE THAT?
YOU'RE JUST BEING STEPHANIE.
I AM?
BUT I YELLED AT HER.
WELL, YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN
HIGH STRUNG AND DEMANDING.
YOU HAVE THOSE HIGH
VANDERKELLEN STANDARDS.
BUT I'M SUCH A SNOT.
OH, DARLING, NOBODY MINDS.
I DO.
I DON'T THINK I SHOULD
STAY HERE ANYMORE.
- WHAT?
- SWEETHEART, WE'VE BEEN
OVER THIS ALREADY.
HAVEN'T YOU BEEN ENJOYING
YOUR LITTLE LAMBORGHINI?
YES.
BUT...
I THINK I NEED TO GO
BACK TO VERMONT.
PREFERABLY IN THE LAMBORGHINI.
UNTIL I DECIDE WHO
IT IS I WANT TO BE.
WELL, THAT'S EASY. YOU
WANT TO BE OUR STEPHANIE.
RICHER THAN ALL GET OUT.
NO, I DON'T.
I MEAN, WELL...
I WANT TO BE RICH BEYOND BELIEF,
THAT'S A GIVEN.
BUT...
I REALLY CAN'T STAND HOW I
GET WHEN I'M IN THIS HOUSE.
WELL, GO TO THE HOUSE IN ARUBA.
NO, IT'S NOT THE HOUSE. IT'S US.
HOW CAN I FIX IT?
WHAT DOES MY LITTLE GIRL WANT?
SHE WANTS TO BE... INDEPENDENT.
SHE WANTS TO GO BACK TO VERMONT.
SHE WANTS AN ANSWER
ABOUT THE LAMBORGHINI.
LAMBORGHINI IS YOURS
WHENEVER YOU'RE HERE.
FINE.
MAYBE I'LL VISIT IT SOMETIME.
[CLICKS INTERCOM] BRING
THE LIMO AROUND, RIGHT AWAY.
[CLICKS] PLEASE.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
THERE WON'T BE TIME
TO PACK. SEND OUR BAGS.
- STOP HER!
- HE CAN'T!
NOT THIS TIME.
BOY, GRASS COURTS
ARE THE WAY TO GO.
OH, GOD. PLEASE LET
SOMEONE HAVE DIED.
MICHAEL...
- WE'RE LEAVING NOW.
- WHY DON'T YOU JUST
PUNCH THIS RACKET
THROUGH MY SPLEEN?
MICHAEL, YOU SAID YESTERDAY
YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE
WAY I WAS ACTING.
I SAID YOU WERE ACTING
MEAN. I DIDN'T SAY I DIDN'T LIKE IT.
- STEPHANIE!
- GOOD-BYE, MUMMY.
THE DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN.
YOU MAY NOT THINK
WE'RE THE BEST PARENTS,
BUT WE'RE BETTER
THAN MINIMUM WAGE.
THINK ABOUT IT.
GOOD-BYE, DADDY.
DO YOU NEED ANYTHING?
JUST A HUG.
STAY IN TOUCH.
YOUR MOTHER WORRIES SO.
I'M GONNA MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH!
[STEPHANIE] MICHAEL!
I CAN'T HELP IT.
I LIKE THAT BOY.
MEOW.