Nehama (2019): Season 1, Episode 6 - Episode #1.6 - full transcript
Ready?
-Come on, Shir.
Come on, sweetie. For me.
I want you to be in the picture.
From the time
I met Tamar Nehama,
I realized
we were opposites.
I looked at her at Nehama's birthday.
I didn't like her
bourgeois attitude.
I thought it was weird
that her kids wore matching clothes
in her big house.
Look.
Smile
But I knew that if I would've married
Guy Ben Harush,
the fighter pilot from the kibbutz
I would've ended up just like her.
She was everything I could've been
had my life happened differently.
Shir, please,
so they can see you. Shir.
Please, I'm asking you.
Stop
One picture, one.
Come on.
Come on. Run.
No, Shir. Shir!
Shir, come back. Shir!
Shir, I'm asking you to come back.
Shir, listen to your mother.
Come on!
I'm commanding you,
as your dad,
to come take a picture
with your mom.
Wait, I'll get the balloons.
We'll take a picture without her.
She's exactly like you were.
Dana, watch out.
My brother's trying
to get you in bed. Be strong.
If I told my dad
I didn't want to be in a picture,
you'd stick me
in a fur warehouse. Tell them!
Let her be.
Don't say I don't back you up.
I always do.
I left without saying goodbye.
was upset.
And I decided to call Ofer
and say yes.
Where are you?
I'm going to have
three kids.
Whe re?
Whatever happens from now on
stays a secret, Oren,
a complete secret!
Don't tell Guy anything.
-What's up with you and Guy?
Nothing.
Nothing, we. . .
work together,
he's married
and his wife's amazing and everything,
I think we have
a subordinate relationship.
By law, do you know when
a subordinate relationship obtains
between a man and a woman
When she fucks him really good?
I'm in love.
Just so you know,
you're really special,
because I'm getting married soon
and you're my last fling, so...
nothing serious
will come out of this. -Okay.
Hello?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Bye.
Was that Guy?
Even worse, it was Tamar.
She asked
was with you.
And what did you tell her?
"Yes."
And then she asked
if I could go see her now.
And what did you tell her?
"Yes."
And then she asked
you could come along.
And what did you tell her?
"Yes."
Hi, Dana.
Can you sit down?
I need to talk to you.
Since when do you smoke?
What's the difference?
-It just makes the disease worse.
Cut the bull, Oren.
-Tama r...
Cancer patients are the ones
who can most afford to smoke.
Don't say anything to Guy, Dana.
He doesn't know yet.
You didn't tell him? You said
you'd tell him after tonight's party.
He went to the stand-up club.
That's why I called you two.
I... didn't really hear you that well
what did you say?
I have cancer, it's terminal
I have a few months left
and I need you two to help me,
because Guy won't manage on his own
and you're the people
he loves the most.
Sorry, I'm a little...
I drank a lot
and I smoked
and I didn't hear what you just said...
-Dana, you heard very well.
Okay?
I'm sorry.
-Thank you.
I'm so sorry.
-It's okay.
I'm really, really, really sorry.
-Thanks, really. Noted.
Tamar, don't say that,
we'll do experimental treatments
and we'll fly to the U.S.,
I hear they've got this experimental
thing with the immune system...
I'm not compatible,
they checked.
It's okay, God feels
I've had enough good in this world.
Don't say that.
-Stop.
I want you to give this to him tomorrow.
-What is it?
I got him an erotic massage
with a clean girl in Petah Tikva.
Give it to him.
Of course it's not from me, it's from you.
It includes full release. If he
fucks her too, he has to use a condom.
No, scratch that.
He's such a hypochondriac,
he'll wrap his whole body
in masking tape.
You want me to take your husband
to a whore?
Oren. . .
-You're a legend.
Tamar, I swear,
r the re's a prize
for the best wife in the universe...
-Oren...
I want him to be full
of pangs of conscience.
Then I'll be able
to tell him I hid the cancer from him
and he won't be able
to get mad at me.
When are you starting treatment?
Don't you get it?
There's no treatment. I saw three doctors.
It's hopeless. There's no time.
How long
-Dana.
Please don't cry.
No. . . I'm not c rying.
Dana, I don't allow you to cry.
I've made a complete plan
for life after I... you know.
I need you to be strong.
You play a central role in
I want you to be responsible for the kids
if something happens to Guy.
Okay?
You're our Plan B.
Dana, please stop crying.
Tamar, I'll be a horrible dad.
Ask someone else.
You'll be an amazing dad. You've got
to get back with Michal Solomon.
Where did that come from?
I haven't been in touch
with her for 6 years. I'm married.
What?
She still thinks about you.
-Is this important now?
Oren.
Michal Solomon still thinks about you
and still wants you. I checked with her.
Get back with her, have kids.
You'll be a great father.
She's a doctor, that's always good
in a family with many kids.
She'll be an amazing aunt and if there are
any problems, she'll be the kids' guardian.
Tamar, I'm sorry,
I'm not...
I'm not feeling well, I'm going to be sick,
I drank too much,
and this all feels
so surreal.
This is the most surreal night I've ever had
-Dana, he's crazy about you.
You're more his type
than I am.
What do you mean?
Don't play dumb.
You know what I mean.
Dad, I spoke with the bank
and they said. . .
They answered? When you're in debt,
they'll talk to anyone.
These people are sick.
Alice says that if we don't pay the mortgage
by next month, they'll start evicting us.
You haven't paid in two weeks.
-What can I do? Jonathan was in the hospital
I'm not accusing you.
Why are you so aggressive?
You don't have to tell me
why you're not working.
Listen, don't leave Jonathan alone
for a minute.
When he goes to pee,
he has to leave the door open.
And no fighting in his presence.
Hello.
-Hello. Guy Nehama?
Yes. -Wow, I started thinking
I had the wrong number.
It's Dalit,
the social worker.
Hey, Dalit,
I'm just getting into an elevator,
so I won't have service here,
I'm sorry...
Hold on, Guy.
No, don't hang up on me.
I'm not sure you understand
the gravity of the situation.
Okay, I'm out of the elevator.
I'm with you. Listen...
Okay. -Jonathan's really fine.
I'm with him all the time.
I don't leave him alone
for a second.
He sleeps with me at night.
Everything's just fine.
It's the bank.
I have an exit point on some savings!
Listen, Guy,
you have to come in for therapy.
The Welfare Ministry appointed me
to supervise your family's healing process.
I'm not separating things here.
It's not only Jonathan.
The whole family has to heal.
-There's no problem in our family, okay?
It's unnecessary. -You're in no position
to decide whether it's necessary or not.
I was appointed after a suicide attempt
of a 9.5 year-old boy.
That's very unusual
and very disturbing.
Dahlia . . .
-Dalit.
Dalit. My kids are Nehamas,
they're tough,
they don't need to talk about their emotions
it'll only weaken them.
Okay, even if you don't believe
in the psychological treatment process
I think that...
-It's not that I don't believe in
I just think that digging up the past
and looking for culprits
a sort of charlatanism.
That means
you don't believe in the process.
So I don't believe in the process.
Sue me, okay?
I make my kids superfoods.
I give them broccoli and spirulina
which is full of antioxidants and iron.
And I love them.
No one in this world loves his kids
as much as I love mine.
Guy, listen, if you don't come
to the sessions with the kids,
I'll report to Nira and recommend
a parental capacity assessment.
Do you realize that after this process
they can decide to move the children
to other frameworks
that are not their home?
Excuse me,
are you threatening me?
No, that' s it's reality
threatening you.
Be here on Tuesday at 3:00.
Don't blow it, Nehama.
Do you work too
or spend all day on your phone?
Arik, I work like a madman
it's just processing and rendering, so...
Processing and rendering?
I have a camera there
I see everything.
You're on the phone all the time.
You're on hourly pay now
and I want you to deduct all
the private calls from your report to HR.
How much?
An hour? An hour and half? Two?
You could've been running this place
if you had done things right.
Your choices
are what brought you here to QA.
Who's on the phone?
-From home.
Your kids? -No, a burglar who found
a safe and wants to know the code...
Go on, answer it. And don't deduct
this one from the report to HR.
Yes, sweetie.
-Don't "sweetie" me! What's up with you?!
I'm here
at my high-tech job, sweetie.
Call me "sweetie" again
and I'll sue you for sexual harassment.
Listen, Carmeli bailed on me.
His dad died, had a heart attack.
He thought it was
a good enough reason not to show up.
Anyway, I have this gig,
a Bar Mitzvah with 150 kids
you think you can do
Yeah, I can . .
I can do it.
One of the kids got hurt.
I don't have a Yali.
-Who got hurt?
You have five kids and no Yali?
What are the odds?
Just turned out that way.
Yes, what are the details?
-It's at the club, be here in an hour.
Badani will do 15 minutes
you'll do 40 minutes.
It's 5,000 shekels,
under the table. It's your first gig,
you gotta be on fire,
you understand? On fire
Come with a knife.
They're 13-year-old little shits.
I'll do it. -You gotta nail this
or I'll make sure it's your last gig.
I've got this.
What?
It's just that ever since
Jonathan's attempt, I've...
Every phone call makes me jump,
every little thing with the kids.
I can't sleep.
I have all these fears,
I don't know what to do.
-No, I get it.
I've got a heart, Guy.
As Steve Jobs said:
"Without the little people
who screwed in the screws,
"I wouldn't have invented the iPhone.
-What a great man he was.
I gotta go now.
-Go, go.
I'll make it up to you.
I'll come here in the evening
and I'll complete my quota.
-Okay, no problem.
Go to him.
-Thanks, Arik.
What' s up?
-I've got to talk to you.
What's up? -I met Guy Ben Harush...
-Who's Guy?
A squadron commander
I had an affair with
turns out he's been out of whack ever since.
-I'd love to hear stories
about Guy who's not functioning,
but I've got this gig now.
They've got me lined up for a Bar Mitzvah.
I've gotta nail it. -A Bar Mitzvah?
Do you have jokes
for stupid 13-year-olds?
Not really.
The relationship bit won't work, huh?
Or the one about me getting old.
I gotta go.
-Okay.
What do I do?
-You'll be fine.
There's traffic, you'll think
of something on the way.
Talk to me
Hey, Grandpa, what's up?
Sweetie, what are you doing here?
-I took a bus here.
I'm here...
I volunteer here.
I'm helping. . .
to guard the parking lot
from terrorists, you know, Hamas...
Grandpa, I know you work here.
I always dreamed
of working with cars.
It's quiet here, I sit here thinking,
and they even pay me for it.
Your friend?
Do you smoke, too?
-No.
Mom didn't let me.
I promised her.
How're things at home, sweetie?
Shir's still seeing her boyfriend,
the married teacher.
Well, that's not that bad.
It's a matter of norms.
Women of Shir's age used to marry men
who were her teacher's age.
You wouldn't think it was terrible
if I was sleeping with my teacher?
If you have any chance
of sleeping with your teacher,
don't hesitate, go for it
Want to drive a little?
-Sure.
Are you seriously
going to let me?
Hey, can I drive too?
That would be irresponsible of me, Dadi.
Ask your grandpa to let you drive.
I know how to drive from this
simulator app on my phone. -Genius.
I just hope to live long enough
to see you get the Nobel Prize
in Biology.
You'll find a cure for cancer.
Grandpa, I've got ADHD,
dyslexia and dysgraphia.
Dadi,
eat your heart out!
floor it,Amir
Grandpa!
Shit, Grandpa!
Grandpa !
Get in the car and turn it on.
Go forward, gently!
But. . .
Grandpa, how do you turn it on?
You turned it on!
What's the code?
Do you remember the code?
The note with the code is up
in the office, in my bag.
Hello?
-Hello, Nehama?
It's Omer Elbaz's mother.
-Yeah, that's what it says on my my phone.
What's up? -Everything's fine,
I don't want you to stress out.
Jonathan was playing with the kids here
at the party and got hurt.
I don't believe you. Did he try to jump?
How high up? -No, no,
he didn't try to kill himself
or anything.
Why are you saying that?
-I wasn't hinting at anything,
it's just that I'm very close
with my son Omer
and he told me about all the activities
they do in their class
about suicides and...
all that stuff.
-Okay, I got you.
How is he?
He's okay, he just hurt his foot,
so someone should come pick him up.
Okay, I'm on it.
Thank you.
Pick up, pick up. . .
"Your call is being transferred
to voicemail."
Amir, why aren't you answering?
This is why I got you a phone!
Get back to me ASAP.
How did it go?
It didn't happen yet, there's traffic.
I'm on my way and running late.
Listen, there's a problem
with Jonathan.
Amir's not picking up,
Shir's at her singing lesson,
Eden is on a field trip,
my dad's at the garage,
Oren's at work,
and Tamar's mom is at an
anti-antisemitism convention in Paris.
Anti-semitism is a real wound.
We did good, going for high-tech.
Wow, do you want me to repeat
everyone's location and stats?
No, I need you to save me.
Please go to Jonathan,
take him home,
let Itai's babysitter go,
and then when I come home,
I'll have sex with you in return.
So they treated your impotence.
That's great.
Jerk.
Wait, is he going to go wild
and hurt himself and stuff?
Dana, he's a kid, he's human
you can deal with him.
He's slightly more mature than Arik.
Worst case, you can restrain him.
I've got straps in the kitchen. -Okay.
Thank you.
-Okay, bye.
Yes, one of the best.
I know what I'm saying, bro.
What's up?
-I've got to go.
What?
I'll get back to you in a minute.
We said we're having a budget meeting
Elbaz is on his way.
I ordered a vegan pizza
because of you.
Where are you going?
Nehama needs help with the kids.
-What?
What's with you, Dana Khen?
You're Dana Khen,
Elbaz can get you promoted.
And he'll be pissed for having to eat
a pizza with soy and tahini paste
instead of mozzarella.
Dana, what did Steve Jobs teach us?
Lead, manage, decide and fire.
The four guidelines.
Why is Nehama still here?
Guy Nehama and I have this crazy story
about how we first met,
it's really rare.
Shir, where are you?
Listen, Mom's abroad, I...
It was 3 years ago,
he only had 4 kids back then,
and Tamar went to India to do yoga.
I was coming out of a job interview
I felt like I really nailed it.
I didn't even notice him.
The only thing in his favor
was that I really like gray hair.
Pal, can you please hang up?
-It's a WhatsApp call, it's fine.
And I want to tell you...
-It transmits radiation,
you're giving us cancer,
it's like we're in a microwave. Hang up.
It's WhatsApp, it's not a phone call.
-Yeah, 0.56 microjoules per millimeter.
Hang up, okay? Turn it off.
-How do you know?
I was on the team that developed it.
Can you turn it off?
Okay, I'm turning it off,
so nothing happens to someone who...
What?
Something mean you want to say about me?
No, no,
to someone who looks...
Looks what?
Looks cool, looks good.
It's all good.
I'm kidding.
-Come on, Gramps...
You're actually coming on to me.
Am I supposed to hug and kiss you now,
because you just saved me from radiation?
Whoa, you got carried away.
Way out there.
I wouldn't hug you even
if you begged. What's up with that?
I've got to take it, it's my daughter
and she's alone with four kids.
Why doesn't she call her mom?
-She's abroad,
she abandoned us for a month.
I'm answering, okay?
Hello? Shir? -Hold on.
Talk outside, okay? -Just a sec.
Shir, I haven't got much time
I'm in an elevator.
The radiation is like a microwave's.
0.56 microjoules per millimeter.
Never send me WhatsApp messages
from elevators, no matter what...
Don't call me a retard.
You can't call your dad a retard.
'Cause the last time I checked,
I wasn't drooling and I wasn't a retard.
She hung up on me.
Wow, you're too much.
Four kids?
-Yes.
I'm Guy Nehama, by the way.
-Dana Khen.
Fuck,
I can't believe it
Fuck!
Pick me uo!
Pick me up!
-Oh no...
You can't die,
you hear me?
It's getting tighter.
-I'm letting you go,
then I'll release the scarf.
No, don't let me go. I'll die!
-I just look frail and old
but it's not like that,
it's the gray hair,
but I used to be a combat soldier
and I eat only superfoods.
I'm letting you go.
-No, don't let go. Don't let go.
Fuck.
Are you okay?
Is your windpipe broken?
If so, you're done for,
there's no chance.
You really are a retard!
You're such an idiot.
Wow, you were lucky.
Are you okay?
I'm checking your windpipe now.
Wow.
We're stuck here now.
What does that mean?
Eve rything'
Everything's fine.
The air tastes kind of funny,
don't you think?
It may not be a good time
to say this, but...
I was diagnosed
with claustrophobia in the army.
Oh, no.
It feels as if. . .
we're running out of air,
doesn' t
What's up with you?
Nothing, it just feels as if the walls
are closing in on me,
it' s all shrinking...
There's a lot of air in here.
It takes 5-6 hours for oxygen to run out
in an elevator this size.
And there's a vent. And
they'll get us out. It's fine.
five hours?
Get us out of here!
We're between the 12th and 13th floors!
We're stuck in the elevator!
Bastards. -Try and relax.
Relax and breathe, okay?
No, I'm fine.
Everything's fine, everything's fine.
Everything's all right.
Everything's all right.
-Try to breathe.
That's weird advice. Did anyone ever
stop breathing and was told:
"Try to breathe,
start breathing all over again"?
Everything's great.
It's all good.
I'm calm. I...
Even when I feel fear or anxiety,
I know how to...
keep them contained, like.
-Shhh.
Where are you?!
I'm a father of four,
a sole provider!
I can't die like this!
Where are you, damn it?!
Fuck. . .
-Relax.
So why did your wife
leave for India?
Is this supposed to calm me down?
You can go back to beating the floor
if you want.
Well, a few nights ago
I wanted to have sex with her,
and the next day, she got tickets for Delhi.
Wow, that says something
about your sex life, doesn't it?
Or about the prices of tickets to India.
Don't be negative.
We have a great sex
Really.
She's been gone for 3 days
and the whole house is falling apart.
Kids running around naked, like animals.
Yelling at each other.
Found the little one in the dishwasher
his brother was trying to turn it on.
I won't last a month.
-Wow.
Are you in the process
of getting a divorce?
You think a man with four kids
can afford to get divorced?
Think how much alimony
I'd have to pay.
About the same amount
as Mongolia's national debt.
Nah, she's crazy about me.
We're a great couple.
We're a...
perfect couple. -Yeah?
-Yeah, we have.. .
She has a great life with me
I don't get why she went.
Are you married?
No.
How come?
Why doesn't your boyfriend propose?
I don't have a boyfriend.
You don't have a boyfriend?
-No, I don't.
Why not?
-What are you, my mom?
I'm young and I'm not there yet.
I don't have a boyfriend yet.
You 1 re 26, 28 now.
You don't want to find yourself alone
in an apartment with a cat at 33.
I'm 32 and I have two cats.
Then why did you say
you were young?
Why did you mislead me
and make me say embarrassing things?
Yeah, um..
I just didn't feel a need
to make compromises, unlike your wife.
looking for the kind of guy
who doesn't fall apart
if we get stuck in an elevator
or if he stays with the kids
for more than a few hours.
-Excuse me?
I just saved your life.
-Yeah, right after you killed me.
What, with the radiation?
Are you a moron?
Not the radiation. You strangled me
with the scarf in the elevator.
How's that my responsibility?
From age 14 onwards,
you're supposed to ride elevators with no
adult supervision, it's in the instructions.
That must be the straightest thing I've
ever heard. You're from Raanana, aren't you?
And you've been with your wife
since 4th grade? Is that the deal?
Not at all. -No?
-I'm from Hod Hasharon. -Ah.
We've been together
since we finished our military service.
What's your story? Parents got divorced, Dad
leaves home and gives you separation anxiety
so every man that comes along,
you do stupid stuff, to see if he'll leave
and after some time they leave
because you're crazy?
Did you notice that the oxygen
really is running out? -Stop it.
There really is weird taste.
-Don't say that. Dana Khen, stop it.
Do you want me to start screaming?
I'll beat the floor again. Cut it out.
Well, yes, actually.
-Yes what?
Yes, my parents got divorced
and my dad left home.
Boom! I'm like a witch.
I really get people.
-Yeah?
You get people that you've been
in the elevator with for a few minutes
but you don't get
why your wife's in India.
Yes, I had a married boyfriend for 5 years,,
that kind of got things stuck.
Why didn't you leave him?
We had a really good connection.
Connection? -Intimate connection.
-Intimate connection?
A really good one.
-An intimate connection.
It started from driving
to Google's offices
and continued into something
I wasn't able to stop.
I'm from Carmiel and...
Yes, and he's from Tel Aviv,
kind of older.
A grandpa, like me?
-No, even more so.
It ended up with a hospitalization.
-How do you let something like that get you?
You're a strong woman. Why do you
let a man throw you down to the floor?
He was hospitalized, not me.
I don't know what happened.
He got stressed at the end.
Oops ie.
So what'll you do if your wife
doesn't come back from India?
I know some crazy girls
who are totally into that:
single men with four kids.
You could be a big hit.
Really?
Well, if it becomes relevant,
I'll tell you and you can introduce me.
They did this study once
where they made 40 random couples
learn a text together.
Half were on the ground and half
were on a rope bridge over an abyss.
9 out of 20, the ones who were over
an abyss, fell in love and got married.
The ones that were on the ground
not even one.
You're a
real miracle.
I can't find a parking space anywhere.
I'm running so late.
Listen,
this is a collector's car.
Don't park it with two wheels
on the sidewalk
and don't touch it with greasy hands...
Your hands produce oil.
I gotta go. I'll tip you
when I get back, okay? Thanks, man.
Bro...
Avital.
-Where've you been, Nehama?
Don't ask.
Good thing they've got a valet here.
These people are loaded, huh?
They brought a valet?
Wow.
When am I on?
I managed to change pants in the car.
What are you talking about?
It's over. They're having dessert.
Badani lasted as much as he could.
-No, Avital, I need the money.
I'm defaulting on my mortgage payments,
They'll take my house.
I need the work. My dad works
in a parking lot. I have no one to ask...
Okay, go up. I don't like what I'm doing,
I usually don't like having people go up
after the desserts, because their blood
sugar's high and that's never in your favor.
And they don't know you.
You'll go up and they'll be shocked
to see you're not Kadouri. -You didn't
tell them I was replacing Kadouri?
You crazy?
They would've canceled the deal.
Kadouri's a star. He's on the kids'
channel, you're just an old guy.
And they think
you're a condescending white guy. -Why?
Because I told them so. When you were
running late, I cursed on the PA system
"Where's that condescending,
white piece of trash?!"
But I'm not white. My mom's Yemenite
and my dad's from Uzbekistan.
Spare me the details.
Get up there, give it your best shot
and may the Lord have mercy.
Oh, and even if they don't laugh,
don't get off the stage
before 45 minutes are up
otherwise there's no pay
Avital, I'm gonna nail 'em.
I love the sea.
I'm good, I'm...
I'm great with kids,
kids are little people,
they're not monsters,
they're little people.
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,
Yogev's Bar Mitzvah's guests,
I want you to give a hand
for a great comedian
who's gonna crack you up.
Give it up
for Guy Nehama!
Yogev, Mazel Tov on your Bar Mitzvah.
Mazel Tov to your parents too.
Cool.
I'm standing in for Kadouri.
You know how sometimes
your mom gives you food
and you're sure
she's trying to poison you?
You say:
"What's the green stuff?
"Eat it first, we'll see if you die,
then I'll eat it.
"Give some to Dad.
Control group."
Or like when you tell your dad:
"Dad, I want a Coke,"
and he says:
"A Coke? That's poison.
"It'll give you diabetes,
you 'll go blind,"
and then you say: "Great,
"then I can get that dog
you never wanted to get me."
Okay, okay.
-43 minutes to go, man.
I'll be at the pastry stand.
A woman will always lie at the mall.
You say you'll meet your wife
at "Aroma" at the mall,
you call her: "Where are you?
She says: "At 'Aroma.'"
"But I can't see you,
"Oh, okay. I'm coming.
They really loved you.
-What? -Yeah.
You were great, Nehama
you're the bomb.
What? They didn't laugh.
The mom was crying,
they threw falafel balls at me.
They were mini-kababs,
you know we don't do falafel here.
Anyway, what matters is that you passed
the first test of a gig comedian:
Don't get off the stage
before your 45 minutes are up.
Did they pay me?
They did.
But only 1,200.
-Fuck.
He re.
I'm finished, Avital.
Why, Nehama?
There's a bright side to everything.
Know how I opened this club?
I was 23,
went to Amsterdam, penniless
and with severe nut allergies.
Serious stuff,
life endangering.
Went into the first restaurant I saw
didn't know the menu,
ordered a dessert
with my last guilder.
And I tell her:
"No nuts, no nuts."
Had the munchies and I tell her:
"No nuts. Make sure ! "
In a second, I'm on the floor
all bloated, with sores
as big as marbles on my face.
Looked like Shrek's brother.
They take me to the hospital,
I get out with compensation.
And then I realize something.
I get this enlightenment, like Jesus:
"Rami Avital,
you have a new job.
I find myself
conning three more restaurants.
I go in, eat something nutty
get an allergic reaction,
go to the hospital,
and get out with compensation.
I come home with 200,000 guilders
and opened the club.
You understand what I'm saying?
-What can I do with that?
Listen,
you'd better go out through the back door,
the family wants your hide.
And I'd stay away from
the Gan Yavne area for the next year.
Bye, man.
You were great, Nehama.
They paid him?
No way.
That came out of my po
Do me a favor.
Go to the gift area
and swipe a few things.
Look for a toy drone,
so we break even.
Hey, Uncle Oren,
did we get the insurance money?
Did we hit the jackpot?
-Insurance?
It's all on camera.
You'll go to jail. Get up.
What are we gonna do with you?
If your dad hears about this
he'll go straight to the ER.
That was so irresponsible, Amir.
You could've run over your grandpa.
Or that friend of yours, Dada.
Dadi.
Amir, they could've taken away
your license for good.
You could've been.
-Oren.
Let Guy be.
-Ami r.
Guy was always the dreamy type.
He used to get lost
on the way to school.
He'd follow ants in the yard.
You always did
as you were told.
You've reached
your glass ceiling.
But do me a favor, please,
don't vent your frustration
and do the boy in.
Guy will go far,
he'll be Prime Minister, a great writer,
something you can't even imagine.
It's Amir, Dad, not Guy.
Dana Khen.
Are you practicing?
Hi, Dana.
-Hi, sweetie, how are you?
Go up to your room.
What's up?
My leg feel sleep.
I can't feel a thing
from my belly downwards.
At first, I had to pee.
Now I can't even feel that.
I'm no doctor,
but that sounds bad.
What do I do now?
I don't know.
-He's so cute.
All I know is that if you move,
he'll wake up.
Did you talk to Nehama?
About what? -About that night
when we almost had sex,
about what Tamar
told you and me?
No way,
we agreed never to tell, didn't we?
Why, did you say something?
-Not a thing.
I don't know what to do about him.
I asked Arik to send us on a trip together.
He flaked out at the last minute.
No way. I brought him right to you.
How come you didn't nail it?
He stressed out.
Talked about Tamar with me.
Your brother's gay,
seriously.
Honestly, I'm giving up.
I'm moving on.
Relax, Dana.
You've got him.
You just have
to help him let go.
A little alcohol, he gets drunk
and you've got him.
Don't you have keys?
Don't even ask.
My car was stolen.
Get out of here.
I pulled up and saw this guy.
I was sure he was a valet.
Gave him the keys,
he runs off with the car.
Son of a bitch,
I'm such an idiot.
That's Israel for you.
You are so stupid.
But I said I'm an idiot,
didn't I?
Why say I'm stupid too?
Why overwork the point?
How are the kids?
Come save me, Nehama.
You can move them at this age.
You guys are amateurs.
Nothing will wake him up.
Do whatever you want to him.
Shh. . .
-See?
Gently. -He won't wake up.
It doesn't matter.
I'm putting him to sleep, quiet.
-What's up with you?
They're like weights.
Can't beat experience.
Hi, Dana.
Thank you.
Nehama, you smell like meat.
Yeah, they threw mini-kababs at me.
The show didn't go too well.
I'm putting him here,
I'll take him up later.
We'll do it in stages.
What a bummer.
Nehama, aren't you performing
at the marathon today?
No, I won't perform again today.
I can't get up on stage.
I'll play Monopoly with the kids,
with Amir and Eden,
and recoup the losses for the car.
So why don't you two go out?
Go out on the day
my car got stolen?
So what?
Dana's here. You're here.
Go out for a while,
you've had a bad day.
I wasn't planning on going home anyway.
I'll sleep here and watch the kids.
What do you say?
We'll go out and get drunk?
But I don't have a car. How will we go?
-I have a company car. We can go.
Okay, let's go.
Go out, have a few drinks...
Dana.
-What?
One of us has to remain sober.
-No problem.
Stupid!
Huh?
Drink...
Dana.
3 days after I got stuck
in the elevator with Guy Nehama,
I arrived at my new workplace.
How are you?
-I'm fine.
Nice place here, eh?
-Yes, it's really nice.
I designed everything.
-Wow.
Everything. -Yes?
-It's all mine.
I was completely shocked
when Arik introduced me.
Is the cage open?
What's up?
-Come in.
I want you to meet someone.
This is Guy Nehama,
he's going to be your boss.
This is Dana Khen,
our new account manager.
Get outta here. -Yes, yes.
-Get outta here.
What's up?
Nice to meet you.
Nehama, I want to go over our
No matter how hot your worker is,
you don't hit on her in the office.
What happens abroad
is something else.
I'm kidding.
Though we do travel abroad a lot.
Nehama does,
just so you know.
I don't want to get him in trouble,
so I'll shut up.
In any case,
I want to remind you
to tell her about the umbrella policy.
And: determine, lead, bring up issues
and fire. The four guidelines.
That's another thing
I want you to pass on to her.
The four guidelines.
Okay. . .
Bye.
-Bye.
Let me know
when you start the orgy.
I'll shower in the meantime.
Unbelievable, huh?
Wow. -Unbelievable.
-What's up with that?
Sea ry.
-Weird. -Yeah, wow.
Nehama?
-Yes.
So you can be in a closed space?
You're not...
stressed about running out of
Dana, this is . . .
Tamar, my wife.
Oh. -Hi, nice to meet you.
-Wow.
Nice to meet you.
So you're not in India?
Do you guys know each other?
No, she went to Dharamsala
cried for 3 days straight,
missed me, came back and...
And now we're going to see
the new Coen brothers film, right?
Anyways, this is Dana Khen. Remember
I told you I got stuck in an elevator
and there was this girl who got
an anxiety attack? This is her. -Oh.
Why are you laughing?
-Oh, nothing.
He just described you
a bit differently. -Oh. -Really?
Didn't you? -No.
-Didn't you? -Stupid.
Listen, something professional...
Bye. -Something . . .
Hold on, listen, Dana,
we started our acquaintance
in a very strange way. -Yes.
But Elba Technosystems
is a professional place,
it's not a charity, and as your boss
I expect you to work your ass off.
Put in tons of hours,
give your heart,
so I can go home early
and be with my wife and kids
as your boss, okay?
Okay. -Okay?
-No problem.
Just remember this when I pass you
and will be above you.
That could happen.
I'm waiting for that. -Okay.
Okay.
Did you sue the insurance company?
There's no one to sue, it's the elevator.
-Right, they're not covered for elevators.
Right.
-Too bad.
Arik, that son of a bitch.
He hires people
that I'm supposed to work with
without talking to me
and without me being at the interview.
Dana's pretty.
-No. . .
No? -No.
-You didn't like her?
She's all right, she's not ugly,
but she's not good-looking.
She's not my taste in any way.
-Really?
Like, she's not...
-Yes, she's not horrible.
No. But she's not...
-She's not.
Dana, as you're my boss, I must point out
that whatever happens between us tonight,
I don't want you to promote because
of that, only for my qualifications.
You think those 15 seconds
will be that significant?
Arik will fire me tomorrow
if he finds out.
He can't fire you,
it's my department,
and he can't do anything.
-No, I promised him I'd come in
and put in some extra time, to make up
for all the time I spent with Jonathan.
I don't even show up.
I'm a theoretical QA person.
Okay, then make a note of this
or remember it: XYO-523.
What's that, your All Express password?
-No, stupid. It's my computer's password.
I'm dropping you off at Technosystems,
log onto my computer,
go to "Employees' hour count."
Under your name,
add two hours
and that's it, come back down
and we'll go to my place.
-But that's stealing.
Okay. Arik does it all the time.
All the executives do it.
It's this company's culture. -No way.
You're an investigative reporter.
Nehama, you're really naive
you know that?
As an intelligent person,
you surprise me.
I'll drop you off, add two hours
to your count and that's it.
We'll go to my place.
If you're really good, we'll go back
and I'll add another 7 hours.
Dana,
did you know that all great couples
have a crazy story about how they met?
Have I ever told you that?
36th floor.
Fuck them all.
They'
Nehama.
Hey, Arik.
What are you doing here?
I'm just...
What?
-I'm just...
Netta's here, my first wife.
The one who took your parents' apartment?
-That one,
yes. Poor thing,
she's going through another divorce.
Lost, lost, lost.
I think I have an angle there.
-Really.
Yeah, but I'm scared.
My lawyer will kill me.
And rightly so.
-He's a jealous guy.
So...
You're here to put in some work?
Like I have a choice.
With what I get paid here, I have to work.
Right.
You know it's not my fault,
don't you, Nehama?
What do you mean?
-It's all because of Dana Khen.
She insisted on demoting you
to a QA position.
Yeah, she wants to move ahead
in life, you know?
She doesn't want anyone
on her team who's...
Who's what, tall?
Who makes her look weak.
She's totally "The Four Guidelines":
Lead, bring issues up, decide,
She heard me say it once
and she got hooked.
She's taking it all the way now...
Didn't you get how Ruthie from HR
won't speak to her?
But don't worry, Nehama
I've got your back.
This month I'll give you
a few extra hours,
on me. Technosystems is
like a family, Nehama.
A cold family
that bears grudges,
but helps you out with money.
Okay, I gotta go.
Netta,
that was the widower
I told you about.
I'm keeping him here
by the skin of my teeth.
That's my problem,
I'm too nice.
His son Yali tried to kill himself,
I'm helping him out with all kinds of stuff.
It's nice he re,
isn ' t
Yes .
-I made it cozy.
Did you add the hours?
-Yeah, thanks.
But take me home, Dana.
What's wrong
Nothing. I do QA and I have
to put in a ton of hours tomorrow
and my car was stolen today.
It's okay, you have insurance.
-No, I don't. You have insurance.
You think I have that kind of money?
In my situation?
But it's less than 6 months. The car's new.
-And there's no car.
Nehama, everything will be okay.
I don't think so.
I don't think you and I
should see each other.
I don't think
we have the same status.
I'm in QA
and you're a senior executive.
That doesn't work together.
How so?
-Financially.
For you, losing your car
is another day at the office.
For me, it's a catastrophe
that I can't get over.
Hey, Amir, what's up? Listen, I let Oren go,
so I'm in charge now.
Go make me some coffee.
-Where have you been?
Romi came to pick up
a notebook and I talked to her.
I saw you with your teacher,
Ido Horev.
Dad will kill you!
-Dad won't know a thing,
because you won't tell him anything.
-We're about to lose the house,
and Eden says the welfare department
will be here soon.
Then maybe it's time to stop
driving in parking lots with no license.
Who told you? -You and I are going
to keep our mouths shut.
We can't stress out Dad and Eden.
-Who told you?! -I know everything!
You ran over Grandpa, genius.
-It's not my fault he was standing there!
You don't know how much
I love driving! -You retard.
Dad always says that all great couples
have a great story about how they met.
So do Ido and I. -Because you're crazy.
Everyone knows you're crazy!
Why are you guys fighting?
e ' re not fighting .
Right, Amir?
-Of course not.
Wle're rehearsing for my play.
Go get your mattresses
and sleep in my room tonight.
You losers.
Daddy.
-They're so sweet.
Shh! What was that?
Eden.
What' s up, Shir?
How was your day?
My car was stolen.
I ruined my gig at Yogev's.
Me and Dana...
it's not gonna happen.
Bummer.
You know that if you bring
a woman home,
I'll help you get the kids
to accept it.
I'll accept any choice you make.
Shir,
you continue your affair
with the teacher,
I'll accept you
and hug you,
but then me and Uncle Oren
will find him and kill him.
You retard.
Who's been farting in here?
The smell's horrible.
You guys are killing yourselves.
What do you guys eat?
If I fall asleep, wake me up, okay?
-Okay.
Shir, I found out
who's been farting.
-Come on, Shir.
Come on, sweetie. For me.
I want you to be in the picture.
From the time
I met Tamar Nehama,
I realized
we were opposites.
I looked at her at Nehama's birthday.
I didn't like her
bourgeois attitude.
I thought it was weird
that her kids wore matching clothes
in her big house.
Look.
Smile
But I knew that if I would've married
Guy Ben Harush,
the fighter pilot from the kibbutz
I would've ended up just like her.
She was everything I could've been
had my life happened differently.
Shir, please,
so they can see you. Shir.
Please, I'm asking you.
Stop
One picture, one.
Come on.
Come on. Run.
No, Shir. Shir!
Shir, come back. Shir!
Shir, I'm asking you to come back.
Shir, listen to your mother.
Come on!
I'm commanding you,
as your dad,
to come take a picture
with your mom.
Wait, I'll get the balloons.
We'll take a picture without her.
She's exactly like you were.
Dana, watch out.
My brother's trying
to get you in bed. Be strong.
If I told my dad
I didn't want to be in a picture,
you'd stick me
in a fur warehouse. Tell them!
Let her be.
Don't say I don't back you up.
I always do.
I left without saying goodbye.
was upset.
And I decided to call Ofer
and say yes.
Where are you?
I'm going to have
three kids.
Whe re?
Whatever happens from now on
stays a secret, Oren,
a complete secret!
Don't tell Guy anything.
-What's up with you and Guy?
Nothing.
Nothing, we. . .
work together,
he's married
and his wife's amazing and everything,
I think we have
a subordinate relationship.
By law, do you know when
a subordinate relationship obtains
between a man and a woman
When she fucks him really good?
I'm in love.
Just so you know,
you're really special,
because I'm getting married soon
and you're my last fling, so...
nothing serious
will come out of this. -Okay.
Hello?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Bye.
Was that Guy?
Even worse, it was Tamar.
She asked
was with you.
And what did you tell her?
"Yes."
And then she asked
if I could go see her now.
And what did you tell her?
"Yes."
And then she asked
you could come along.
And what did you tell her?
"Yes."
Hi, Dana.
Can you sit down?
I need to talk to you.
Since when do you smoke?
What's the difference?
-It just makes the disease worse.
Cut the bull, Oren.
-Tama r...
Cancer patients are the ones
who can most afford to smoke.
Don't say anything to Guy, Dana.
He doesn't know yet.
You didn't tell him? You said
you'd tell him after tonight's party.
He went to the stand-up club.
That's why I called you two.
I... didn't really hear you that well
what did you say?
I have cancer, it's terminal
I have a few months left
and I need you two to help me,
because Guy won't manage on his own
and you're the people
he loves the most.
Sorry, I'm a little...
I drank a lot
and I smoked
and I didn't hear what you just said...
-Dana, you heard very well.
Okay?
I'm sorry.
-Thank you.
I'm so sorry.
-It's okay.
I'm really, really, really sorry.
-Thanks, really. Noted.
Tamar, don't say that,
we'll do experimental treatments
and we'll fly to the U.S.,
I hear they've got this experimental
thing with the immune system...
I'm not compatible,
they checked.
It's okay, God feels
I've had enough good in this world.
Don't say that.
-Stop.
I want you to give this to him tomorrow.
-What is it?
I got him an erotic massage
with a clean girl in Petah Tikva.
Give it to him.
Of course it's not from me, it's from you.
It includes full release. If he
fucks her too, he has to use a condom.
No, scratch that.
He's such a hypochondriac,
he'll wrap his whole body
in masking tape.
You want me to take your husband
to a whore?
Oren. . .
-You're a legend.
Tamar, I swear,
r the re's a prize
for the best wife in the universe...
-Oren...
I want him to be full
of pangs of conscience.
Then I'll be able
to tell him I hid the cancer from him
and he won't be able
to get mad at me.
When are you starting treatment?
Don't you get it?
There's no treatment. I saw three doctors.
It's hopeless. There's no time.
How long
-Dana.
Please don't cry.
No. . . I'm not c rying.
Dana, I don't allow you to cry.
I've made a complete plan
for life after I... you know.
I need you to be strong.
You play a central role in
I want you to be responsible for the kids
if something happens to Guy.
Okay?
You're our Plan B.
Dana, please stop crying.
Tamar, I'll be a horrible dad.
Ask someone else.
You'll be an amazing dad. You've got
to get back with Michal Solomon.
Where did that come from?
I haven't been in touch
with her for 6 years. I'm married.
What?
She still thinks about you.
-Is this important now?
Oren.
Michal Solomon still thinks about you
and still wants you. I checked with her.
Get back with her, have kids.
You'll be a great father.
She's a doctor, that's always good
in a family with many kids.
She'll be an amazing aunt and if there are
any problems, she'll be the kids' guardian.
Tamar, I'm sorry,
I'm not...
I'm not feeling well, I'm going to be sick,
I drank too much,
and this all feels
so surreal.
This is the most surreal night I've ever had
-Dana, he's crazy about you.
You're more his type
than I am.
What do you mean?
Don't play dumb.
You know what I mean.
Dad, I spoke with the bank
and they said. . .
They answered? When you're in debt,
they'll talk to anyone.
These people are sick.
Alice says that if we don't pay the mortgage
by next month, they'll start evicting us.
You haven't paid in two weeks.
-What can I do? Jonathan was in the hospital
I'm not accusing you.
Why are you so aggressive?
You don't have to tell me
why you're not working.
Listen, don't leave Jonathan alone
for a minute.
When he goes to pee,
he has to leave the door open.
And no fighting in his presence.
Hello.
-Hello. Guy Nehama?
Yes. -Wow, I started thinking
I had the wrong number.
It's Dalit,
the social worker.
Hey, Dalit,
I'm just getting into an elevator,
so I won't have service here,
I'm sorry...
Hold on, Guy.
No, don't hang up on me.
I'm not sure you understand
the gravity of the situation.
Okay, I'm out of the elevator.
I'm with you. Listen...
Okay. -Jonathan's really fine.
I'm with him all the time.
I don't leave him alone
for a second.
He sleeps with me at night.
Everything's just fine.
It's the bank.
I have an exit point on some savings!
Listen, Guy,
you have to come in for therapy.
The Welfare Ministry appointed me
to supervise your family's healing process.
I'm not separating things here.
It's not only Jonathan.
The whole family has to heal.
-There's no problem in our family, okay?
It's unnecessary. -You're in no position
to decide whether it's necessary or not.
I was appointed after a suicide attempt
of a 9.5 year-old boy.
That's very unusual
and very disturbing.
Dahlia . . .
-Dalit.
Dalit. My kids are Nehamas,
they're tough,
they don't need to talk about their emotions
it'll only weaken them.
Okay, even if you don't believe
in the psychological treatment process
I think that...
-It's not that I don't believe in
I just think that digging up the past
and looking for culprits
a sort of charlatanism.
That means
you don't believe in the process.
So I don't believe in the process.
Sue me, okay?
I make my kids superfoods.
I give them broccoli and spirulina
which is full of antioxidants and iron.
And I love them.
No one in this world loves his kids
as much as I love mine.
Guy, listen, if you don't come
to the sessions with the kids,
I'll report to Nira and recommend
a parental capacity assessment.
Do you realize that after this process
they can decide to move the children
to other frameworks
that are not their home?
Excuse me,
are you threatening me?
No, that' s it's reality
threatening you.
Be here on Tuesday at 3:00.
Don't blow it, Nehama.
Do you work too
or spend all day on your phone?
Arik, I work like a madman
it's just processing and rendering, so...
Processing and rendering?
I have a camera there
I see everything.
You're on the phone all the time.
You're on hourly pay now
and I want you to deduct all
the private calls from your report to HR.
How much?
An hour? An hour and half? Two?
You could've been running this place
if you had done things right.
Your choices
are what brought you here to QA.
Who's on the phone?
-From home.
Your kids? -No, a burglar who found
a safe and wants to know the code...
Go on, answer it. And don't deduct
this one from the report to HR.
Yes, sweetie.
-Don't "sweetie" me! What's up with you?!
I'm here
at my high-tech job, sweetie.
Call me "sweetie" again
and I'll sue you for sexual harassment.
Listen, Carmeli bailed on me.
His dad died, had a heart attack.
He thought it was
a good enough reason not to show up.
Anyway, I have this gig,
a Bar Mitzvah with 150 kids
you think you can do
Yeah, I can . .
I can do it.
One of the kids got hurt.
I don't have a Yali.
-Who got hurt?
You have five kids and no Yali?
What are the odds?
Just turned out that way.
Yes, what are the details?
-It's at the club, be here in an hour.
Badani will do 15 minutes
you'll do 40 minutes.
It's 5,000 shekels,
under the table. It's your first gig,
you gotta be on fire,
you understand? On fire
Come with a knife.
They're 13-year-old little shits.
I'll do it. -You gotta nail this
or I'll make sure it's your last gig.
I've got this.
What?
It's just that ever since
Jonathan's attempt, I've...
Every phone call makes me jump,
every little thing with the kids.
I can't sleep.
I have all these fears,
I don't know what to do.
-No, I get it.
I've got a heart, Guy.
As Steve Jobs said:
"Without the little people
who screwed in the screws,
"I wouldn't have invented the iPhone.
-What a great man he was.
I gotta go now.
-Go, go.
I'll make it up to you.
I'll come here in the evening
and I'll complete my quota.
-Okay, no problem.
Go to him.
-Thanks, Arik.
What' s up?
-I've got to talk to you.
What's up? -I met Guy Ben Harush...
-Who's Guy?
A squadron commander
I had an affair with
turns out he's been out of whack ever since.
-I'd love to hear stories
about Guy who's not functioning,
but I've got this gig now.
They've got me lined up for a Bar Mitzvah.
I've gotta nail it. -A Bar Mitzvah?
Do you have jokes
for stupid 13-year-olds?
Not really.
The relationship bit won't work, huh?
Or the one about me getting old.
I gotta go.
-Okay.
What do I do?
-You'll be fine.
There's traffic, you'll think
of something on the way.
Talk to me
Hey, Grandpa, what's up?
Sweetie, what are you doing here?
-I took a bus here.
I'm here...
I volunteer here.
I'm helping. . .
to guard the parking lot
from terrorists, you know, Hamas...
Grandpa, I know you work here.
I always dreamed
of working with cars.
It's quiet here, I sit here thinking,
and they even pay me for it.
Your friend?
Do you smoke, too?
-No.
Mom didn't let me.
I promised her.
How're things at home, sweetie?
Shir's still seeing her boyfriend,
the married teacher.
Well, that's not that bad.
It's a matter of norms.
Women of Shir's age used to marry men
who were her teacher's age.
You wouldn't think it was terrible
if I was sleeping with my teacher?
If you have any chance
of sleeping with your teacher,
don't hesitate, go for it
Want to drive a little?
-Sure.
Are you seriously
going to let me?
Hey, can I drive too?
That would be irresponsible of me, Dadi.
Ask your grandpa to let you drive.
I know how to drive from this
simulator app on my phone. -Genius.
I just hope to live long enough
to see you get the Nobel Prize
in Biology.
You'll find a cure for cancer.
Grandpa, I've got ADHD,
dyslexia and dysgraphia.
Dadi,
eat your heart out!
floor it,Amir
Grandpa!
Shit, Grandpa!
Grandpa !
Get in the car and turn it on.
Go forward, gently!
But. . .
Grandpa, how do you turn it on?
You turned it on!
What's the code?
Do you remember the code?
The note with the code is up
in the office, in my bag.
Hello?
-Hello, Nehama?
It's Omer Elbaz's mother.
-Yeah, that's what it says on my my phone.
What's up? -Everything's fine,
I don't want you to stress out.
Jonathan was playing with the kids here
at the party and got hurt.
I don't believe you. Did he try to jump?
How high up? -No, no,
he didn't try to kill himself
or anything.
Why are you saying that?
-I wasn't hinting at anything,
it's just that I'm very close
with my son Omer
and he told me about all the activities
they do in their class
about suicides and...
all that stuff.
-Okay, I got you.
How is he?
He's okay, he just hurt his foot,
so someone should come pick him up.
Okay, I'm on it.
Thank you.
Pick up, pick up. . .
"Your call is being transferred
to voicemail."
Amir, why aren't you answering?
This is why I got you a phone!
Get back to me ASAP.
How did it go?
It didn't happen yet, there's traffic.
I'm on my way and running late.
Listen, there's a problem
with Jonathan.
Amir's not picking up,
Shir's at her singing lesson,
Eden is on a field trip,
my dad's at the garage,
Oren's at work,
and Tamar's mom is at an
anti-antisemitism convention in Paris.
Anti-semitism is a real wound.
We did good, going for high-tech.
Wow, do you want me to repeat
everyone's location and stats?
No, I need you to save me.
Please go to Jonathan,
take him home,
let Itai's babysitter go,
and then when I come home,
I'll have sex with you in return.
So they treated your impotence.
That's great.
Jerk.
Wait, is he going to go wild
and hurt himself and stuff?
Dana, he's a kid, he's human
you can deal with him.
He's slightly more mature than Arik.
Worst case, you can restrain him.
I've got straps in the kitchen. -Okay.
Thank you.
-Okay, bye.
Yes, one of the best.
I know what I'm saying, bro.
What's up?
-I've got to go.
What?
I'll get back to you in a minute.
We said we're having a budget meeting
Elbaz is on his way.
I ordered a vegan pizza
because of you.
Where are you going?
Nehama needs help with the kids.
-What?
What's with you, Dana Khen?
You're Dana Khen,
Elbaz can get you promoted.
And he'll be pissed for having to eat
a pizza with soy and tahini paste
instead of mozzarella.
Dana, what did Steve Jobs teach us?
Lead, manage, decide and fire.
The four guidelines.
Why is Nehama still here?
Guy Nehama and I have this crazy story
about how we first met,
it's really rare.
Shir, where are you?
Listen, Mom's abroad, I...
It was 3 years ago,
he only had 4 kids back then,
and Tamar went to India to do yoga.
I was coming out of a job interview
I felt like I really nailed it.
I didn't even notice him.
The only thing in his favor
was that I really like gray hair.
Pal, can you please hang up?
-It's a WhatsApp call, it's fine.
And I want to tell you...
-It transmits radiation,
you're giving us cancer,
it's like we're in a microwave. Hang up.
It's WhatsApp, it's not a phone call.
-Yeah, 0.56 microjoules per millimeter.
Hang up, okay? Turn it off.
-How do you know?
I was on the team that developed it.
Can you turn it off?
Okay, I'm turning it off,
so nothing happens to someone who...
What?
Something mean you want to say about me?
No, no,
to someone who looks...
Looks what?
Looks cool, looks good.
It's all good.
I'm kidding.
-Come on, Gramps...
You're actually coming on to me.
Am I supposed to hug and kiss you now,
because you just saved me from radiation?
Whoa, you got carried away.
Way out there.
I wouldn't hug you even
if you begged. What's up with that?
I've got to take it, it's my daughter
and she's alone with four kids.
Why doesn't she call her mom?
-She's abroad,
she abandoned us for a month.
I'm answering, okay?
Hello? Shir? -Hold on.
Talk outside, okay? -Just a sec.
Shir, I haven't got much time
I'm in an elevator.
The radiation is like a microwave's.
0.56 microjoules per millimeter.
Never send me WhatsApp messages
from elevators, no matter what...
Don't call me a retard.
You can't call your dad a retard.
'Cause the last time I checked,
I wasn't drooling and I wasn't a retard.
She hung up on me.
Wow, you're too much.
Four kids?
-Yes.
I'm Guy Nehama, by the way.
-Dana Khen.
Fuck,
I can't believe it
Fuck!
Pick me uo!
Pick me up!
-Oh no...
You can't die,
you hear me?
It's getting tighter.
-I'm letting you go,
then I'll release the scarf.
No, don't let me go. I'll die!
-I just look frail and old
but it's not like that,
it's the gray hair,
but I used to be a combat soldier
and I eat only superfoods.
I'm letting you go.
-No, don't let go. Don't let go.
Fuck.
Are you okay?
Is your windpipe broken?
If so, you're done for,
there's no chance.
You really are a retard!
You're such an idiot.
Wow, you were lucky.
Are you okay?
I'm checking your windpipe now.
Wow.
We're stuck here now.
What does that mean?
Eve rything'
Everything's fine.
The air tastes kind of funny,
don't you think?
It may not be a good time
to say this, but...
I was diagnosed
with claustrophobia in the army.
Oh, no.
It feels as if. . .
we're running out of air,
doesn' t
What's up with you?
Nothing, it just feels as if the walls
are closing in on me,
it' s all shrinking...
There's a lot of air in here.
It takes 5-6 hours for oxygen to run out
in an elevator this size.
And there's a vent. And
they'll get us out. It's fine.
five hours?
Get us out of here!
We're between the 12th and 13th floors!
We're stuck in the elevator!
Bastards. -Try and relax.
Relax and breathe, okay?
No, I'm fine.
Everything's fine, everything's fine.
Everything's all right.
Everything's all right.
-Try to breathe.
That's weird advice. Did anyone ever
stop breathing and was told:
"Try to breathe,
start breathing all over again"?
Everything's great.
It's all good.
I'm calm. I...
Even when I feel fear or anxiety,
I know how to...
keep them contained, like.
-Shhh.
Where are you?!
I'm a father of four,
a sole provider!
I can't die like this!
Where are you, damn it?!
Fuck. . .
-Relax.
So why did your wife
leave for India?
Is this supposed to calm me down?
You can go back to beating the floor
if you want.
Well, a few nights ago
I wanted to have sex with her,
and the next day, she got tickets for Delhi.
Wow, that says something
about your sex life, doesn't it?
Or about the prices of tickets to India.
Don't be negative.
We have a great sex
Really.
She's been gone for 3 days
and the whole house is falling apart.
Kids running around naked, like animals.
Yelling at each other.
Found the little one in the dishwasher
his brother was trying to turn it on.
I won't last a month.
-Wow.
Are you in the process
of getting a divorce?
You think a man with four kids
can afford to get divorced?
Think how much alimony
I'd have to pay.
About the same amount
as Mongolia's national debt.
Nah, she's crazy about me.
We're a great couple.
We're a...
perfect couple. -Yeah?
-Yeah, we have.. .
She has a great life with me
I don't get why she went.
Are you married?
No.
How come?
Why doesn't your boyfriend propose?
I don't have a boyfriend.
You don't have a boyfriend?
-No, I don't.
Why not?
-What are you, my mom?
I'm young and I'm not there yet.
I don't have a boyfriend yet.
You 1 re 26, 28 now.
You don't want to find yourself alone
in an apartment with a cat at 33.
I'm 32 and I have two cats.
Then why did you say
you were young?
Why did you mislead me
and make me say embarrassing things?
Yeah, um..
I just didn't feel a need
to make compromises, unlike your wife.
looking for the kind of guy
who doesn't fall apart
if we get stuck in an elevator
or if he stays with the kids
for more than a few hours.
-Excuse me?
I just saved your life.
-Yeah, right after you killed me.
What, with the radiation?
Are you a moron?
Not the radiation. You strangled me
with the scarf in the elevator.
How's that my responsibility?
From age 14 onwards,
you're supposed to ride elevators with no
adult supervision, it's in the instructions.
That must be the straightest thing I've
ever heard. You're from Raanana, aren't you?
And you've been with your wife
since 4th grade? Is that the deal?
Not at all. -No?
-I'm from Hod Hasharon. -Ah.
We've been together
since we finished our military service.
What's your story? Parents got divorced, Dad
leaves home and gives you separation anxiety
so every man that comes along,
you do stupid stuff, to see if he'll leave
and after some time they leave
because you're crazy?
Did you notice that the oxygen
really is running out? -Stop it.
There really is weird taste.
-Don't say that. Dana Khen, stop it.
Do you want me to start screaming?
I'll beat the floor again. Cut it out.
Well, yes, actually.
-Yes what?
Yes, my parents got divorced
and my dad left home.
Boom! I'm like a witch.
I really get people.
-Yeah?
You get people that you've been
in the elevator with for a few minutes
but you don't get
why your wife's in India.
Yes, I had a married boyfriend for 5 years,,
that kind of got things stuck.
Why didn't you leave him?
We had a really good connection.
Connection? -Intimate connection.
-Intimate connection?
A really good one.
-An intimate connection.
It started from driving
to Google's offices
and continued into something
I wasn't able to stop.
I'm from Carmiel and...
Yes, and he's from Tel Aviv,
kind of older.
A grandpa, like me?
-No, even more so.
It ended up with a hospitalization.
-How do you let something like that get you?
You're a strong woman. Why do you
let a man throw you down to the floor?
He was hospitalized, not me.
I don't know what happened.
He got stressed at the end.
Oops ie.
So what'll you do if your wife
doesn't come back from India?
I know some crazy girls
who are totally into that:
single men with four kids.
You could be a big hit.
Really?
Well, if it becomes relevant,
I'll tell you and you can introduce me.
They did this study once
where they made 40 random couples
learn a text together.
Half were on the ground and half
were on a rope bridge over an abyss.
9 out of 20, the ones who were over
an abyss, fell in love and got married.
The ones that were on the ground
not even one.
You're a
real miracle.
I can't find a parking space anywhere.
I'm running so late.
Listen,
this is a collector's car.
Don't park it with two wheels
on the sidewalk
and don't touch it with greasy hands...
Your hands produce oil.
I gotta go. I'll tip you
when I get back, okay? Thanks, man.
Bro...
Avital.
-Where've you been, Nehama?
Don't ask.
Good thing they've got a valet here.
These people are loaded, huh?
They brought a valet?
Wow.
When am I on?
I managed to change pants in the car.
What are you talking about?
It's over. They're having dessert.
Badani lasted as much as he could.
-No, Avital, I need the money.
I'm defaulting on my mortgage payments,
They'll take my house.
I need the work. My dad works
in a parking lot. I have no one to ask...
Okay, go up. I don't like what I'm doing,
I usually don't like having people go up
after the desserts, because their blood
sugar's high and that's never in your favor.
And they don't know you.
You'll go up and they'll be shocked
to see you're not Kadouri. -You didn't
tell them I was replacing Kadouri?
You crazy?
They would've canceled the deal.
Kadouri's a star. He's on the kids'
channel, you're just an old guy.
And they think
you're a condescending white guy. -Why?
Because I told them so. When you were
running late, I cursed on the PA system
"Where's that condescending,
white piece of trash?!"
But I'm not white. My mom's Yemenite
and my dad's from Uzbekistan.
Spare me the details.
Get up there, give it your best shot
and may the Lord have mercy.
Oh, and even if they don't laugh,
don't get off the stage
before 45 minutes are up
otherwise there's no pay
Avital, I'm gonna nail 'em.
I love the sea.
I'm good, I'm...
I'm great with kids,
kids are little people,
they're not monsters,
they're little people.
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,
Yogev's Bar Mitzvah's guests,
I want you to give a hand
for a great comedian
who's gonna crack you up.
Give it up
for Guy Nehama!
Yogev, Mazel Tov on your Bar Mitzvah.
Mazel Tov to your parents too.
Cool.
I'm standing in for Kadouri.
You know how sometimes
your mom gives you food
and you're sure
she's trying to poison you?
You say:
"What's the green stuff?
"Eat it first, we'll see if you die,
then I'll eat it.
"Give some to Dad.
Control group."
Or like when you tell your dad:
"Dad, I want a Coke,"
and he says:
"A Coke? That's poison.
"It'll give you diabetes,
you 'll go blind,"
and then you say: "Great,
"then I can get that dog
you never wanted to get me."
Okay, okay.
-43 minutes to go, man.
I'll be at the pastry stand.
A woman will always lie at the mall.
You say you'll meet your wife
at "Aroma" at the mall,
you call her: "Where are you?
She says: "At 'Aroma.'"
"But I can't see you,
"Oh, okay. I'm coming.
They really loved you.
-What? -Yeah.
You were great, Nehama
you're the bomb.
What? They didn't laugh.
The mom was crying,
they threw falafel balls at me.
They were mini-kababs,
you know we don't do falafel here.
Anyway, what matters is that you passed
the first test of a gig comedian:
Don't get off the stage
before your 45 minutes are up.
Did they pay me?
They did.
But only 1,200.
-Fuck.
He re.
I'm finished, Avital.
Why, Nehama?
There's a bright side to everything.
Know how I opened this club?
I was 23,
went to Amsterdam, penniless
and with severe nut allergies.
Serious stuff,
life endangering.
Went into the first restaurant I saw
didn't know the menu,
ordered a dessert
with my last guilder.
And I tell her:
"No nuts, no nuts."
Had the munchies and I tell her:
"No nuts. Make sure ! "
In a second, I'm on the floor
all bloated, with sores
as big as marbles on my face.
Looked like Shrek's brother.
They take me to the hospital,
I get out with compensation.
And then I realize something.
I get this enlightenment, like Jesus:
"Rami Avital,
you have a new job.
I find myself
conning three more restaurants.
I go in, eat something nutty
get an allergic reaction,
go to the hospital,
and get out with compensation.
I come home with 200,000 guilders
and opened the club.
You understand what I'm saying?
-What can I do with that?
Listen,
you'd better go out through the back door,
the family wants your hide.
And I'd stay away from
the Gan Yavne area for the next year.
Bye, man.
You were great, Nehama.
They paid him?
No way.
That came out of my po
Do me a favor.
Go to the gift area
and swipe a few things.
Look for a toy drone,
so we break even.
Hey, Uncle Oren,
did we get the insurance money?
Did we hit the jackpot?
-Insurance?
It's all on camera.
You'll go to jail. Get up.
What are we gonna do with you?
If your dad hears about this
he'll go straight to the ER.
That was so irresponsible, Amir.
You could've run over your grandpa.
Or that friend of yours, Dada.
Dadi.
Amir, they could've taken away
your license for good.
You could've been.
-Oren.
Let Guy be.
-Ami r.
Guy was always the dreamy type.
He used to get lost
on the way to school.
He'd follow ants in the yard.
You always did
as you were told.
You've reached
your glass ceiling.
But do me a favor, please,
don't vent your frustration
and do the boy in.
Guy will go far,
he'll be Prime Minister, a great writer,
something you can't even imagine.
It's Amir, Dad, not Guy.
Dana Khen.
Are you practicing?
Hi, Dana.
-Hi, sweetie, how are you?
Go up to your room.
What's up?
My leg feel sleep.
I can't feel a thing
from my belly downwards.
At first, I had to pee.
Now I can't even feel that.
I'm no doctor,
but that sounds bad.
What do I do now?
I don't know.
-He's so cute.
All I know is that if you move,
he'll wake up.
Did you talk to Nehama?
About what? -About that night
when we almost had sex,
about what Tamar
told you and me?
No way,
we agreed never to tell, didn't we?
Why, did you say something?
-Not a thing.
I don't know what to do about him.
I asked Arik to send us on a trip together.
He flaked out at the last minute.
No way. I brought him right to you.
How come you didn't nail it?
He stressed out.
Talked about Tamar with me.
Your brother's gay,
seriously.
Honestly, I'm giving up.
I'm moving on.
Relax, Dana.
You've got him.
You just have
to help him let go.
A little alcohol, he gets drunk
and you've got him.
Don't you have keys?
Don't even ask.
My car was stolen.
Get out of here.
I pulled up and saw this guy.
I was sure he was a valet.
Gave him the keys,
he runs off with the car.
Son of a bitch,
I'm such an idiot.
That's Israel for you.
You are so stupid.
But I said I'm an idiot,
didn't I?
Why say I'm stupid too?
Why overwork the point?
How are the kids?
Come save me, Nehama.
You can move them at this age.
You guys are amateurs.
Nothing will wake him up.
Do whatever you want to him.
Shh. . .
-See?
Gently. -He won't wake up.
It doesn't matter.
I'm putting him to sleep, quiet.
-What's up with you?
They're like weights.
Can't beat experience.
Hi, Dana.
Thank you.
Nehama, you smell like meat.
Yeah, they threw mini-kababs at me.
The show didn't go too well.
I'm putting him here,
I'll take him up later.
We'll do it in stages.
What a bummer.
Nehama, aren't you performing
at the marathon today?
No, I won't perform again today.
I can't get up on stage.
I'll play Monopoly with the kids,
with Amir and Eden,
and recoup the losses for the car.
So why don't you two go out?
Go out on the day
my car got stolen?
So what?
Dana's here. You're here.
Go out for a while,
you've had a bad day.
I wasn't planning on going home anyway.
I'll sleep here and watch the kids.
What do you say?
We'll go out and get drunk?
But I don't have a car. How will we go?
-I have a company car. We can go.
Okay, let's go.
Go out, have a few drinks...
Dana.
-What?
One of us has to remain sober.
-No problem.
Stupid!
Huh?
Drink...
Dana.
3 days after I got stuck
in the elevator with Guy Nehama,
I arrived at my new workplace.
How are you?
-I'm fine.
Nice place here, eh?
-Yes, it's really nice.
I designed everything.
-Wow.
Everything. -Yes?
-It's all mine.
I was completely shocked
when Arik introduced me.
Is the cage open?
What's up?
-Come in.
I want you to meet someone.
This is Guy Nehama,
he's going to be your boss.
This is Dana Khen,
our new account manager.
Get outta here. -Yes, yes.
-Get outta here.
What's up?
Nice to meet you.
Nehama, I want to go over our
No matter how hot your worker is,
you don't hit on her in the office.
What happens abroad
is something else.
I'm kidding.
Though we do travel abroad a lot.
Nehama does,
just so you know.
I don't want to get him in trouble,
so I'll shut up.
In any case,
I want to remind you
to tell her about the umbrella policy.
And: determine, lead, bring up issues
and fire. The four guidelines.
That's another thing
I want you to pass on to her.
The four guidelines.
Okay. . .
Bye.
-Bye.
Let me know
when you start the orgy.
I'll shower in the meantime.
Unbelievable, huh?
Wow. -Unbelievable.
-What's up with that?
Sea ry.
-Weird. -Yeah, wow.
Nehama?
-Yes.
So you can be in a closed space?
You're not...
stressed about running out of
Dana, this is . . .
Tamar, my wife.
Oh. -Hi, nice to meet you.
-Wow.
Nice to meet you.
So you're not in India?
Do you guys know each other?
No, she went to Dharamsala
cried for 3 days straight,
missed me, came back and...
And now we're going to see
the new Coen brothers film, right?
Anyways, this is Dana Khen. Remember
I told you I got stuck in an elevator
and there was this girl who got
an anxiety attack? This is her. -Oh.
Why are you laughing?
-Oh, nothing.
He just described you
a bit differently. -Oh. -Really?
Didn't you? -No.
-Didn't you? -Stupid.
Listen, something professional...
Bye. -Something . . .
Hold on, listen, Dana,
we started our acquaintance
in a very strange way. -Yes.
But Elba Technosystems
is a professional place,
it's not a charity, and as your boss
I expect you to work your ass off.
Put in tons of hours,
give your heart,
so I can go home early
and be with my wife and kids
as your boss, okay?
Okay. -Okay?
-No problem.
Just remember this when I pass you
and will be above you.
That could happen.
I'm waiting for that. -Okay.
Okay.
Did you sue the insurance company?
There's no one to sue, it's the elevator.
-Right, they're not covered for elevators.
Right.
-Too bad.
Arik, that son of a bitch.
He hires people
that I'm supposed to work with
without talking to me
and without me being at the interview.
Dana's pretty.
-No. . .
No? -No.
-You didn't like her?
She's all right, she's not ugly,
but she's not good-looking.
She's not my taste in any way.
-Really?
Like, she's not...
-Yes, she's not horrible.
No. But she's not...
-She's not.
Dana, as you're my boss, I must point out
that whatever happens between us tonight,
I don't want you to promote because
of that, only for my qualifications.
You think those 15 seconds
will be that significant?
Arik will fire me tomorrow
if he finds out.
He can't fire you,
it's my department,
and he can't do anything.
-No, I promised him I'd come in
and put in some extra time, to make up
for all the time I spent with Jonathan.
I don't even show up.
I'm a theoretical QA person.
Okay, then make a note of this
or remember it: XYO-523.
What's that, your All Express password?
-No, stupid. It's my computer's password.
I'm dropping you off at Technosystems,
log onto my computer,
go to "Employees' hour count."
Under your name,
add two hours
and that's it, come back down
and we'll go to my place.
-But that's stealing.
Okay. Arik does it all the time.
All the executives do it.
It's this company's culture. -No way.
You're an investigative reporter.
Nehama, you're really naive
you know that?
As an intelligent person,
you surprise me.
I'll drop you off, add two hours
to your count and that's it.
We'll go to my place.
If you're really good, we'll go back
and I'll add another 7 hours.
Dana,
did you know that all great couples
have a crazy story about how they met?
Have I ever told you that?
36th floor.
Fuck them all.
They'
Nehama.
Hey, Arik.
What are you doing here?
I'm just...
What?
-I'm just...
Netta's here, my first wife.
The one who took your parents' apartment?
-That one,
yes. Poor thing,
she's going through another divorce.
Lost, lost, lost.
I think I have an angle there.
-Really.
Yeah, but I'm scared.
My lawyer will kill me.
And rightly so.
-He's a jealous guy.
So...
You're here to put in some work?
Like I have a choice.
With what I get paid here, I have to work.
Right.
You know it's not my fault,
don't you, Nehama?
What do you mean?
-It's all because of Dana Khen.
She insisted on demoting you
to a QA position.
Yeah, she wants to move ahead
in life, you know?
She doesn't want anyone
on her team who's...
Who's what, tall?
Who makes her look weak.
She's totally "The Four Guidelines":
Lead, bring issues up, decide,
She heard me say it once
and she got hooked.
She's taking it all the way now...
Didn't you get how Ruthie from HR
won't speak to her?
But don't worry, Nehama
I've got your back.
This month I'll give you
a few extra hours,
on me. Technosystems is
like a family, Nehama.
A cold family
that bears grudges,
but helps you out with money.
Okay, I gotta go.
Netta,
that was the widower
I told you about.
I'm keeping him here
by the skin of my teeth.
That's my problem,
I'm too nice.
His son Yali tried to kill himself,
I'm helping him out with all kinds of stuff.
It's nice he re,
isn ' t
Yes .
-I made it cozy.
Did you add the hours?
-Yeah, thanks.
But take me home, Dana.
What's wrong
Nothing. I do QA and I have
to put in a ton of hours tomorrow
and my car was stolen today.
It's okay, you have insurance.
-No, I don't. You have insurance.
You think I have that kind of money?
In my situation?
But it's less than 6 months. The car's new.
-And there's no car.
Nehama, everything will be okay.
I don't think so.
I don't think you and I
should see each other.
I don't think
we have the same status.
I'm in QA
and you're a senior executive.
That doesn't work together.
How so?
-Financially.
For you, losing your car
is another day at the office.
For me, it's a catastrophe
that I can't get over.
Hey, Amir, what's up? Listen, I let Oren go,
so I'm in charge now.
Go make me some coffee.
-Where have you been?
Romi came to pick up
a notebook and I talked to her.
I saw you with your teacher,
Ido Horev.
Dad will kill you!
-Dad won't know a thing,
because you won't tell him anything.
-We're about to lose the house,
and Eden says the welfare department
will be here soon.
Then maybe it's time to stop
driving in parking lots with no license.
Who told you? -You and I are going
to keep our mouths shut.
We can't stress out Dad and Eden.
-Who told you?! -I know everything!
You ran over Grandpa, genius.
-It's not my fault he was standing there!
You don't know how much
I love driving! -You retard.
Dad always says that all great couples
have a great story about how they met.
So do Ido and I. -Because you're crazy.
Everyone knows you're crazy!
Why are you guys fighting?
e ' re not fighting .
Right, Amir?
-Of course not.
Wle're rehearsing for my play.
Go get your mattresses
and sleep in my room tonight.
You losers.
Daddy.
-They're so sweet.
Shh! What was that?
Eden.
What' s up, Shir?
How was your day?
My car was stolen.
I ruined my gig at Yogev's.
Me and Dana...
it's not gonna happen.
Bummer.
You know that if you bring
a woman home,
I'll help you get the kids
to accept it.
I'll accept any choice you make.
Shir,
you continue your affair
with the teacher,
I'll accept you
and hug you,
but then me and Uncle Oren
will find him and kill him.
You retard.
Who's been farting in here?
The smell's horrible.
You guys are killing yourselves.
What do you guys eat?
If I fall asleep, wake me up, okay?
-Okay.
Shir, I found out
who's been farting.