Nehama (2019): Season 1, Episode 5 - Episode #1.5 - full transcript
A woman's body contains 4 liters of blood,
which is 18 cups.
If you lose 7 cups,
you're a goner.
It's better not to know
these facts
when the main artery in your leg
has been severed,
but my mom
wanted me to go to med school,
and of all things,
this one stuck in my mind.
They say that the last thing you do
before you die defines your life.
Well, in my case,
this is definitely right.
Instead of seeing
my whole life flash before me
I saw what would happen
after I was gone.
Ever since we climbed
this mountain,
it feels like we're sinking.
Just sinking and sinking.
Zionism won't survive
if we do not sacrifice ourselves for it.
Avshalom,
I feel a burning passion,
a passion for the land,
a physical burning passion.
And then you
you and Tomer...
-Yes.
Who plays this role in the play.
Every time I'm onstage, I feel like
a disabled person who lost a leg
and then got it back.
-Because you're a real actress.
Real actors are people
who are lacking something,
who don't feel whole
anywhere else. -Really?
Sure.
-I'm so happy you said that.
Oh no.
Fuck. Fuck!
No. . .
Dad. -Eden, when you guys were born,
no one told me about the wear and tear.
You think Amir will be okay
with wearing pink from now on?
Dad, Jonathan's depressed.
-Why?
He's in love with Lihi Amzaleg Stern
the class queen,
he doesn't stand a chance with her.
He's way out of her league,
tell him to forget about her.
You really think
I'm gonna do that?
Jonathan is a Nehama, we always go
for the class queen, even if it's hopeless.
Tell him to come here.
Jonathan!
I can yell too.
Go get him.
Jonathan!
-Eden, go get him!
He doesn't want to come.
Johnny, sweetie.
Are you depressed?
I don't know.
Are you in love
with Lia Buzaglo Feldman?
Who? -Lihi Amzaleg Stern.
-Same same.
Are you in love with her?
I don't know.
Listen to me.
-Forget about her, Johnny.
If she doesn't want you,
forget about her, okay? -Eden, let me.
You guys know how
me and your mom fell in love?
I came to play at a club
where she was working,
she was the most beautiful woman
in the room, the queen of the place
and I made her laugh,
she was cracking up...
Remember how Mom's nostrils
used to quiver when she laughed?
That's what happened,
she laughed so hard,
and that was how I got her
because I was comical.
There's a very well-known rule
of romance:
If you made her laugh but didn't do her,
it's your fault. -Ew, Dad, stop.
Sorry, scratch that sentence.
So you go up to Lia tomorrow...
Lihi.
-Same same, Eden.
And you tell her: Hey, you know how
the teacher screams: "Excuse me,"
and then the tough guy gets up
and says: "You're not excused"?
Then you tell her
your joke about the turtle,
remember it?
That's good stuff, sweetie. Okay?
You're an amazing kid. You're smart
handsome. You're perfect.
You'll make her laugh
and she'll be your girlfriend.
All the girls
will be jealous of her, got it?
Dad, what are you doing?
He's gonna get bullied.
Eden, I gave you the same advice when you
were his age and look where you are today.
Dad, I never listened to you,
and yeah, just look at where I am.
Eden,
don't get all Beyonce on me, okay?
Okay, I remember the story
of how we met a little differently.
He really did come to play
at the pathetic club where I was working.
My mom made me pay my way
through college.
Okay, are we focused?
Yes. -Kick off with "Mortal Combat.
-Yeah.
Go right to the deer after that.
-You're not...
No, don't come all iffy. Be confident.
-We're gonna nail 'em!
I love you, man.
I love you.
Hey, sister,
this place smells like insecticide.
It's killing us .
The whole joint is carcinogenic.
I'm the waitress, "brother." I'm not in char
of security. What do you want me to do?
I'm going straight to the ER from here
wanna come with?
Okay, they asked me to tell you guys
that you're on in five.
It's an CPA's firm,
they asked to skip the...
"bro" routines, no profanity
and no racial stuff.
No way, that's all our material.
Dvora, we're toast!
Chill.
We kick off with "Mortal Combat"
and we go straight to the deer.
-But the deer is racial too! -Chill.
The moment I saw Asi, I knew
he was the handsomest man I ever saw.
Want a beer or something?
Sure, sweetie.
Do you guys have anything natural
like fresh orange juice? -No.
My future husband
looked like a total jerk
with his deer costume
and his hysterics.
Wow!
Wow.
-Yeah?
Yeah, she's a mega-babe.
-I didn't get that excited.
Are you nuts?
-Okay, relax.
Hold on, slap me.
Not hard, not hard.
After the show,
which didn't make me laugh at all...
Tough night, huh? -Why?
-Because they didn't laugh.
I realized that
I really hated stand-up comedy.
They threw fries at us.
Hey, listen,
you need to announce
that the owner of the car with
license plate 532-735-5453-996
has to move it,
'cause its plate is blocking the entrance.
That has to be in the show.
She laughed, that's good.
Guy kept trying to make me laugh
and I realized
that I was going to hate this person,
if we kept in touch.
My brother has no luck.
He decided to be a crook.
First car he stole
was a carbomb.
I'd invite you to an orgy,
but turns out that I have social anxiety,
so I can't.
You look a little pale, want me to check
if there's a vet in the house?
Are you a Hod Hasharon Nehama?
-Yeah.
We used to be Goldbergs,
but I changed it to Nehama,
so it would sound more down-to-earth.
Is your brother Oren Nehama?
-Yeah, you know him?
He is such a jerk.
We were in India together.
Shut up.
My brother's a genius.
Not when he's on opium
He was the joke of Goa
chasing girls around, high as a kite.
Your brother's a serious asshole.
Say one more thing about my brother
and I'll fuck you up.
I'll push your head
into a melted cheese sandwich
I'll kick you r ass .
-Hey, kid, I'm Ezra's son,
the guy who signs your check for the show.
-Check? We take cash.
So if I say your brother's a jerk,
you smile and say he's a jerk.
Oh yeah? -Yeah.
-Oh yeah? -Yeah.
Is that the deal?
-Yeah. -Oh yeah?
You son of a bitch!
And that was the moment.
It was in that second,
when Nehama was so loyal to his family
that I suddenly realized
that Nehama was quite good-looking
and I decided to go out with him
and not with Asi Dvora.
It was one second of luck.
So many things had to align by chance,
just so our family would happen.
Are you crazy?
You almost hurt me.
Ouch.
Listen,
you've been
mentally undressing me all evening
and it's making me
feel uncomfortable,
so if you insist, I'll give you
my home number,
my work number and the pager
I got from college security.
Call me,
leave a voice message
and I'll get back to you
within 48 hours.
That's my policy with girls
who hit on me, okay?
Funny
What did you say
your name was?
Tama r.
You gotta give him that.
The jerk had guts.
Lihi?
What?
Wanna hear a joke?
Okay. . .
So these two turtles
are walking in the woods
and one of them had no shell
he was naked.
So the other turtle goes:
"Why are you naked?"
So the turtle says,
"Because I ran away from home.
Don't even talk to me, you idiot.
A naked turtle?
Pervert.
Idea for a story:
Once there was a woman
who was married
to the same man for many years.
She raised five children,
and at first she thought
there was nothing better or braver
than the choice she had made,
even though her mother always said:
"You'll wake up one day
"and realize your life has gone by
and you've done nothing."
And one day
she did wake up, terrified:
Maybe this was all a mistake?
Maybe she should've continued on
a career path like all her normal friends?
At first, she didn't understand
what she was feeling
and definitely couldn't admit it
to anyone.
You won't believe
what a dick Arik is.
We had this meeting with
Bio-Ness Pharmaceutic yesterday
and he said that our system can send
periodic reports on demand,
which doesn't really exist in the system,
Alexei hasn't developed it yet,
so guess who has to deal with
Me.
Don't, I have a headache.
-Wait, what's going on?
Tamar.
Where are you going?
I want to hug you.
I'm not having sex with you today.
Who wants to have sex with you?
I just want to hug you,
what's wrong with that? -Yeah, right.
Okay, I want to have sex with you.
Sue me, okay?
Your husband is attracted to you,
is hot for you. Post it on Facebook.
"My husband loves me and wants me,
please sha re."
You're such an idiot,
with all these stories from work.
It' s been two weeks.
You're keeping track?
-Yes, it's important.
It's what keeps the relationship running,
it's not the good conversations
or the quality of the relationship,
it's only the frequency of sex.
Twice a week,
then everything's fine.
Maybe for you,
'cause you're like an ape.
I could be dying and you wouldn't notice
if I had sex with you twice a week.
Probably.
-There you go.
But women need it too.
If you don't get my passionate love
every so often,
you turn into a bitch from hell.
I didn't mean it like that.
Stop.
If you lash out at me now,
you'll just be proving my point.
I want to go to India
for a month.
I can't stand it here any longe
I'm going crazy.
I almost shaved off
my eyebrows today.
I'd still be attracted to you
without them.
What's the deal with India again?
Orit took a yoga course in Dharamsala
I want to take it too.
You may not realize this,
but you don't do yoga.
You can't leave me here
with 5 kids.
I'm a sole provider...
Listen, I. . .
You'll come home one day
and find me dead.
I'll die right he re on
the floor. From sadness.
Tama r.
Listen, I saw this documentary,
you should've watched it with me.
It's about the philosopher
Betty Friedan
who wrote "The Feminine Mystique
it's about an unnamed problem,
about intelligent women like you
who decided to raise their kids at home
and suddenly in their midlife,
they find themselves with perfect kids,
a perfect house and a perfect husband,
but they're depressed.
What's perfect about you?
They didn't say that in the film.
I'm no doctor,
but I think this can only be cured
with sex once a week,
and I'm making a concession here.
All right, I'll have sex,
but it doesn't have to be with you.
All the couples we know
who stopped having sex
eventually cheated on each other.
-Is that a threat?
No, but that's life,
it's the dynamics of life.
I'm a loving, passionate person
and if we don't have sex,
I get starved
and then this cute girl will come along
and I'll make her laugh,
she 'll go, "Ha ha ha
and boom, the deal is sealed.
It can happen to you too.
I've seen all the men in the kids' classes
and that lesbian mom
mentally undressing you.
February 5th, 2026.
Make a note of it. -What's that?
The next time I'll have sex with you
after this conversation.
See? That's not fair.
When you're funny,
you're sexier.
And this is abuse.
You're abusing the victim.
You can starve me,
but don't make me laugh.
You ape.
But I'm you r ape.
Give it to me.
It's... work.
Hey, want some coffee?
You've got coffee. It's "Chemical Berlin,
they're killing me, these Germans.
Now consider how her feelings
turn from frustration to anger
when she starts suspecting
her husband is cheating on her.
No way,
he's not cheating on you.
He's the most loyal man in the world.
-That's what I thought too.
He's very passionate,
I see how he looks at girls on the street.
He just lives by a rulebook
and the first page of the book says
that he has to be loyal to his family.
So what's changed?
Dana Khen, from his work.
-Dana Khen?
She's j ust his type.
Six years younger than me
no kids, no moods,
texts him at night
about her issues with her boyfriend.
I saw them at the party
on the balcony.
They were intimate,
I'm telling you.
I don't get it,
she's so young and pretty and amazing,
but she's in love with him,
I'm telling you.
Family wrecker.
Okay, listen,
I'm sending you an app,
install it on his phone.
It checks his messages,
records his calls... -No way.
Yes, everything, Tamar.
Install it on your phone too
and he'll never know what you're up to.
How do you know all this stuff?
I got divorced, Tamar.
You were snooping on Danny?
I didn't know that.
Yeah, well,
you don't have to tell everything.
How did you think I found out
he was addicted to S&M and Pilipinas?
Loser.
-Totally.
And that's how it all began.
I became an expert
in espionage and snooping.
I started learning about
all that technology that I hated.
And when those messages
that he deleted came in
all that was there was...
Dana, I know that the girl
from "Chemical Berlin" wants me
and it's my dream to screw a German girl
and get even for the Holocaust,
but I'll always be faithful to Tamar.
Always .
And there was also.. .
Melanie is hot.
That's a fact.
But I saw Tamar giving birth
5 times without an epidural!
At the first sign of labor,
Melanie will go for a C-section.
No good sex, no love.
My husband's loyalty to me was
like someone's loyalty to the military.
What surprised me most was that
when I found out that he was faithful
I felt disappointed.
I was kind of hoping
he was cheating on me,
because that would justify
me doing something too.
I lost 6 kilos in 2 months.
-Get out of here.
No one ever hits on me, I don't get it.
-Stop wearing those suburban rags.
What did you find on his phone?
-Nothing.
I'm almost 40 and I haven't had
a single significant relationship
apart from Guy.
-Come on, he's not your first.
In many ways he is.
I want to be loved.
-Oh, so 5 kids isn't enough.
Kids don't love their mother,
they need her.
No, seriously.
Guy's love isn't enough for me.
He'd have sex with me even if
I shaved my eyebrows. He doesn't care.
I'm just there, available.
Look, you don't have to pay the price
that your husband isn't cheating on you.
Seriously.
Today, it's young men.
In 5 years,
'll be guys in their 60s.
Tama r.
Wow.
-What's up?
You're looking good.
You're so hot.
-Thanks, babe. -This is great,
coming home like this.
The kids aren't home, are they?
When will they be back?
-In a couple hours.
You lost so much weight.
-Yeah. It shows, huh?
Sure does.
-Six kilos.
Get out of here.
-I stopped eating carbs. -Not good.
Not good at all, Tamar.
Where did you go?
-That's Why?
really not good.
that if you lose weight too fast
your heart loses muscle mass
and you can drop dead
in the middle of the night.
That would really stress me out
it would scar me for life.
It's very dangerous. You've got to do
a general checkup if you're working out.
You've got to start with that, okay?
-Okay. -Make an appointment today.
I can't have you die. You know
how many babes will be fighting
right here at the doorstep
to replace you? -Okay.
Let me continue.
-I know some of them too.
Tamar, I'd like to run some tests.
Is something wrong
with my heart?
No, no. Your heart looks fine
and you look like you're in great shape.
You know, it's just
to rule out the things... okay?
Look, here's the phone number
of the clinic,
okay?
Tell them it's urgent.
No need to be alarmed,
on the other hand,
we want to rule things out, okay?
-Okay.
And that was it.
Suddenly the doctors got scared
they brought in an oncologist, I went to
see another one. But the result was clear.
Tama
there's no easy way to say this.
It's what we thought.
It's cancer.
And it's advanced, stage 4.
We're starting
aggressive treatment immediately.
We'll attack it and wipe it out.
It's possible.
Okay?
I've seen everything in my career.
Cancer is a monster,
but you can fight it.
Have you told your husband?
I'm going to tell him today.
" Nehama
Th row it. . .
Not like that!
Whoa !
Hey, sweetie.
You think Messi invented soccer.
What about Maradona and Pele?
Yes there was. -There was?
-Were you crying?
No, it's all right. -What happened?
-Nothing, my mom pissed me off, I'm fine.
Don't let her affect you that way.
-It's okay.
I couldn't tell him.
They were so sweet together
and I didn't want to ruin it.
How are you, sweetie?
All I could think of was that I had
6 months to organize their lives without me.
That's not your sweater
it's Mom's sweater.
No, it's my sweater.
-No, it's Mom's sweater.
No, it's my sweater!
Dad put it in Mom's room by mistake.
Get out of here.
Dad.
Yes, sweetie?
I want you to make me
an appointment with a gynecologist.
Okay. . .
What happened?
Dad. . .
Shir, you'd tell Mom
wouldn't you?
Now I'm replacing
her, it's my job. Tell me.
Shir, trust me. I'm
here for you, talk to me.
What?
I want to start taking the pill.
-Are you crazy? Are you nuts?
See why I can't talk to you?
Just make me an appointment.
-Sorry.
I had an extreme reaction,
it was the heat of the moment.
Now I'll give you
my official reaction.
Why does my very young daughter
want the pill now?
It'll regulate my period
and hormone levels.
It'll make me less crazy
when I get my period.
Okay, good one.
Did Mom give you the talk?
Dad. . .
-If you have sex with someone
pills aren't enough.
You have to use a condom too.
A condom is a kind of rubber...
-Dad...
I know what a condom is.
Not from actual knowledge, right?
From stuff you read online...
No, I'm a virgin.
Wow, relief.
Did Mom tell you that...
the stuff you see on porn
isn't what happens in life later?
I don't watch porn. -Okay.
And it's only to regulate my period, okay?
-All right.
Okay.
Is there anything you want
to ask me about this?
Anything. -No. -Ask me.
-No questions. -Ask.
I don't have any questions. -You can't
start before you're 21 or 22. 22.
At what age did Mom start?
Your mom was different,
she came from a broken home.
She had a single mom, no dad.
You know what an idiot that Leah is.
Mom did some stupid things
you don't want to do that.
And most importantly, you don't do
oral sex, ever. It's death, okay?
You can receive it, but only
when you're 22. But don't give it.
Dad, you sound like a Bedouin.
Not everything those guys say
is that bad.
Shir!
Shir.
You gave that girl so many
psychological complexes in that one talk.
Okay, Oren, I know.
Why overemphasize the point?
This Bin Laden just came out of me,
I couldn't help it.
You can't blame him.
For a dad, just thinking
about someone touching his daughter
is the hardest thing in the world.
If I had a daughter,
I'd kill him.
Better than her staying stuck at home
like some old maid. -Oh no.
There's no way she's still a virgin.
-Here.
They start very early nowadays.
Ask her for her phone.
If she gives it to you,
that means she's hiding something.
She's ready for it,
she deleted what she had to.
If she won't let you touch the device
that means she's not doing anything.
Nonsense. You don't know Shir.
She's such an undeveloped girl.
She puts men off
with her behavior.
She'll be the last one.
Eden will do it before her,
and she's 13 or 14.
No, man,
I stopped smoking weed lately.
Me and my wife
are trying to get pregnant.
Oh.
-Check this out.
You're with Michal Salomon again?
What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with me?
Do you realize I got her pregnant?
No way,
you got someone else pregnant
and now you're trying
to get your wife pregnant?
All these years,
I thought I'd never be a father.
Now I know
I'll be great at it.
All those loops and obsessiveness
I used to get into,
they're an advantage.
I'll obsess over my kids.
nvy your divorce lawy
And you'It have one.
Eden's 13.
Now I'm sure.
She was a year old
in the second Lebanon War.
I had this dream last night.
We're going to have 7 kids.
4 girls and 3 boys.
I even know their names:
Shalhevet, Zohar,
Yinon, Tzofnat...
Michail, you've got to relax.
All these years, we didn't realize
that this is all we need.
I was born to be a mom.
I'll be an amazing mom.
Michal... -They'll play in the fields
we'll move to the country.
Honey, you're manic,
you have to start taking your pills again.
There's no way I'm putting that poison
in my body before I get pregnant.
I feel great, Oren.
I'm ove r it.
Come on, sweetie,
you know yourself.
You're gonna be high for 3 weeks,
then you 'll crash.
Not this time.
Shut up.
The kids will give me strength.
This is for life.
I was at a baby store.
-What?
Which one?
What's their return policy?
Sweetie, please don't bring me down.
Come to bed.
I can't have sex with you now, babe.
I have to do the sperm test.
You'll bring down my results.
Sweetie, you're
You're gonna give them
the highest mark they ever had.
Want to help me with the cup?
I'm sure that with you,
the results will be completely different.
What did you get?
-An amazing bedroom set.
A bed, a changing dresser,
a changing surface,
this crazy buggy,
it comes with a car seat
and it all fits together.
It's Swiss...
Oren, I'm not crazy.
I really don't need
these negative vibes right now.
I'm going to get some fresh air
this is such a downer.
Honey.
Honey, leave the credit card here.
I took both of them.
I asked to see you both,
because I wanted to do it face to face.
Oren's sperm test results came in.
Oren, you had
1,400,000 live sperm.
Yes
Fuck, you wouldn't believe
the stress I was in, my god.
1,400,000. Lebron James
doesn't get that kind of percentage.
Oren, less than 5,000,000 is a condition
called severe oligospermia.
You had 0.26% live sperm.
That's a very low
and worrying figure.
0.26?
Yes, it's a very advanced stage
of testicular breakdown,
along with the unidentified
prostrate inflammation which was...
He had unprotected sex
with many girls in Thailand.
What's that got to do with it?
I'm making you an urgent appointment
for a seven-vial test.
We shouldn't put it off.
It's a physical examination
of the prostrate gland. Do you know
where the prostrate is located?
In the butt.
Yes, it's a good way to obtain sperm
that we might be able to use.
It's painful,
so I suggest we do it under anesthesia.
No way.
-It's unpleasant and painful.
Forget it,
I'm not putting drugs in my body.
You know how it begins,
but you don't know where it ends.
He's right, do it without.
She had no mercy,
just shot you down.
What an asshole.
You realize that I'm not a man, Michali?
Underneath all my facade,
I'm not a man.
That's right.
This is where you're supposed
to say it's not true.
Just think of all the birth control pills
I took all these years.
And all those times
you came outside for no reason.
I want to break up.
I'm not on your level
and I never was.
Does your sperm count really define
how much of a man you are? -Yes.
That, and the intensity
of the erection.
All these years I thought it was genetic
and I was super-fertile like Guy.
Listen,
you're the love of my life,
we're both damaged people,
but we don’t give a shit.
We can get over anything. Since when
do you listen to doctors and figures?
Worse comes to worst,
we'll adopt. So what?
Maybe it's for the better.
I won't get fat...
You think I'll adopt some
retarded junkie's baby? I'm not a saint.
Then we can get an African kid
save someone. -Oh, sure,
I'll walk around with a red-haired mother
and a black kid.
Don't you get
that this is my karma?
It's punishment for all
the terrible things I did. -Oren...
Wipes.
Yes, these.
Put them here...
Who is
Who's "Avshalom taxi driver"?
It's Avshi, from poker.
What's up, bro?
Why are you calling me?
She nearly answered.
I would have shut up.
I'm not stupid.
I missed you.
Shir, you're a sweet girl,
but don't be crazy.
Don't ever call me again,
only I call you.
I can't sleep.
I can't eat.
My dad is such an idiot,
he's driving us crazy.
I'm thinking about you.
-We're artists
and risk-taking keeps us going, but...
it was just a momentary loss of control
because we were working on your part,
nothing more.
I think about death all the time.
That's good, Shir.
We're artists. That's good.
What's up,
You're thinking about Mom.
I'm having an affair
with my drama teacher.
He's married to an insane woman
and he's going to leave her.
Wow, Shir.
We ' re in love .
In love?
Ew. With a teacher?
You know that they're the enemy.
Don't tell anyone, Amir.
I'll kill you.
I want to kill myself.
To throw myself
on the train tracks.
How will you get there?
It's 5 kilometers away.
Then I'll take Mom's
Amir, come and brush your teeth.
I'll check you.
If you touch me,
I'll break your fingers.
Eden, I'm going
to tell you something
but you have to promise
not to tell anyone.
Cool.
-Eden, look me in the eyes.
You won't tell anyone.
-Okay.
Grandma?
Yes, I'm fine.
This is the only place
I can talk to you without anyone hearing.
Listen, I have some
classified information
that you really want to know
about Shir and her teacher.
Yes
But you can't tell anyone, okay?
Guy? -Leah, what's up?
It's Oren.
Guy's onstage. Are you with the kids?
Is everything all right?
Listen, Eden just told me
that Shir is having sex
with teachers at school.
Did you hear anything about this?
Teachers?
That doesn't make sense.
Have you seen her report card?
Straight F's.
Not in literature or in drama.
He's 25, the pervert.
Tell Guy to call me
when he gets offstage.
I'll tell him all the details.
Leah, I suggest
we don't tell him anything.
What do you mean,
we don't tell him anything?
He's their father,
'm their grandmother.
She's a minor!
My brother is in a bad state.
Let's not tell him anything,
I'll take care of it.
How will you take care
I'll talk to Shir.
No, I don't like that idea.
I'm like a father to these kids.
I feel responsible for them.
Shir and I are especially close. Trust me
Leah. This will be behind us in 24 hours.
This is making my stomach turn.
You know, Tamar spoke to me
just before she passed away.
She asked me to take responsibility
for these kids.
I suggest we honor
your daughter's request.
Hey.
What's up, Badani?
What about your ex,
did you go and talk to her?
There's no need.
I took a fertility test.
I'm infertile.
I have one sperm that works,
and even he has a damaged tail.
I can't make anyone pregnant
without fertility treatments.
I'm not the father.
Fuck, bro.
Wanna have a smoke?
-Yeah.
Guy, I need you to give me
some of your sperm.
What?
We'll use it for fertilization
and that will be that.
Are you crazy? You want me
to give you my sperm?
Yeah, why not?
Help me out here, we're brothers,
we share everything, don't we?
Yeah, but this isn't a bag of chips,
it's my testicles.
Who shares that stuff?
We won't tell anyone,
we'll take it to the grave.
We won't tell our parents
or Michal or the kids.
It's not just your genes, it's...
Just consider how much
I appreciate your kids
if I'm asking you
to do something like this.
Okay, but...
I'll see that kid all the time.
weird.
If it bothers you,
we won't be in touch.
I'm fine with that,
but do you really think
I'll let someone else raise my kid?
Even if it's you.
-Yeah?
Oh, so you're Dad of the Year. It's 2 a.m.
and you're here. Where are the kids?
So I hang out with the guys
from the club once a week, big deal.
Eden gets them dressed in the morning
and then I drive them.
It's all good.
But they need you to talk to them,
to be with them...
All that shit that kids need.
Tamar would never agree to that.
She'd also be okay with you
giving me sperm.
Let's not talk about Tamar.
Are you serious?
-Yeah, she betrayed me.
Why?
Because she spared you?
Because she didn't tell you
she had cancer? That's betrayal?
You're not making any sense, Oren.
She had apps for deleting messages
different passwords everywhere.
You don't do that when you have cancer.
She did that
because she had a man.
Hey! What's up with you?
-What's up with you?
I can't stand you,
look at yourself.
And if she kissed someone else
what's the big deal?
Does that erase
all those years you spent together?
You know why
you can say something like that?
Because you don't know how to love.
-I love you, you idiot.
Look at yourself.
You've always been my role model
and now you're behaving like I would
it's awful.
not touching anyone.
Too bad, at least
you'd have a reason.
Instead, you just tell your pathetic jokes
and you're not there. -I'm there.
You're not there. -I'm there.
-Your children are lost at home
and you're not there.
-Oren, I'm the re.
People are dying
right in front of you.
I'm dying right in front of you.
They told me I'm infertile
and you drink your spirulina
and talk nonsense.
You know that I know everything.
What do you know?
Eve rything.
And you've got to stop it now.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Shir, you're having an affair
with your gym teacher.
My gym teacher is a woman,
not a man.
-Shi ri .
Oren, there was one moment
with my drama teacher,
one moment where we hugged.
That's all.
And we were just working
on my character.
Oh yeah?
Well, I'll work on his character too,
only my process will include
a trunk and a crowbar.
No, you won't do anything.
Swear you won't.
Swear on Mom's grave.
And you won't tell Dad anything
because he won't understand it
and he'll get a heart attack
and die.
You'll kill him.
And nothing happened. Just that
one moment that I told my siblings about
but those little shits
can't keep their mouths shut
and tomorrow they'll all wake up
with no hair on their heads.
It's nothing.
I don't even have
his phone number.
Come on, Oren.
Look at me.
You won't do or say anything,
will you?
Oren, look into my eyes.
You believe me, don't you?
Shiri, these things happen.
I should know.
But it's over,
right?
I swear, on Mom's grave.
On her memory.
Okay?
Can I have your phone for a sec?
I want to check something.
Here, take it, I don't care.
There's nothing there.
Check it now.
Hey!
Get out of here!
Get out!
Jonathan.
Open up, it's Eden.
Dad.
Dad.
Dad.
Dad!
Where' s
Where' s
Itai almost fell down the stairs
Amir's watching him now.
Eden, let me sleep. Watch him. I didn't
sleep all night, I'm wasted. -Dad, listen.
I think Jonathan's class
is bullying him.
How do you know? -Trust me,
when I get info, it's certain.
You should've told him to give up
on that girl. You made him delusional.
Really, Eden?
That would make me a good father?
Telling him to lower his expectations
from life? To give up on his dreams?
Even if he tried to hit on her and it
didn't work out, he's still a superhero.
Remember that.
For love, you do silly things.
That explains
what's going on with Shir.
What's going on with Shir?
Eden.
What's going on with
Come here.
You're sleeping with your drama,
literature and geography teacher.
What are you, Lolita?
He's a married man.
I can't believe
you believe that nonsense.
Who told you, Oren,
that flop?
All the kids confirmed it.
I'll murder you guys.
Why make up stuff? It's not true.
Is that why you wanted me
to get you the pill?
I'll take you to a doctor
and have you sewn up down there.
He's 50.
-He's 25.
You'd know that
if you ever visited my school.
I'm moving you
to a religious school for girls.
Get your skirts ready
and learn your prayers.
I'm continuing at school
and I want a psychologist,
because I'm going crazy, Dad.
I'm going crazy.
I'm not paying someone
130 bucks an hour
so he can tell you why all your issues are
my fault. I'm not falling into that trap.
That's basic. -Dad, people commit suicide
over unrequited love.
I'm going to slit my wrists.
-Listen here, Shir.
Get serious first.
Cut your finger while slicing veggies,
take a couple of pills by mistake.
I hear only threats from you.
You don't call in an exterminator
if you don't see rats.
I'll kill myself, I'm telling you.
I'll take Mom's pills,
I'll get in the bath and drown.
Dad.. .
-Eden, shut up.
I've listened to you so far
and see where it's got us.
Dad, if you talk to him,
I'll never speak to you again.
I'll never forgive you.
Swear you won't.
Swear you won't talk to him.
I won't talk to him.
He's sweet.
-Thank you.
Let me help you with the bags.
I'm fine. -No, I know what it's like
with little kids. You'll break your back.
It's fine, thanks.
I don't want to bring you down
but I was in your situation
and it hurts me to see you.
-What situation? With a baby?
No, with a partner
who's cheating on you.
I went through it with my wife,
it'll never leave you.
It's horrible that I'm the one
who's telling you this... -Who are you?
You're Shlomit Horev
and you're married to Ido, the teacher?
Is he having an affair with your wife?
-I wish.
You'll have to leave town.
Your heart's breaking.
I feel your pain,
but I have to protect my daughter.
How do you know?
Sorry to ask, but is he having
more sex with you than usual?
Ask him for his phone.
If he gives it to you
without hesitating, he's cheating.
Hey.
Are you an asshole?
Are you?
Give me your phone.
Here.
Oren.
Good luck, sweet
love you.
Change into the gown
and wait on the bed
on all fours.
I was hoping you'd say that.
Are you in the process
of getting divorced?
How did you know?
There's a ring tan mark on your finger
but no ring.
It's not easy being married
when you're a doctor.
It's never easy, sweetheart.
Not when you're a fire fighter
or a police officer,
it's not easy for anyone.
I'm very attractive to women
right now, you know. -Why's that?
Just think, I'm sterile.
No chance
of an unwanted pregnancy.
Are you going to hurt me now?
Be gentle with me, okay?
I can't believe I'm actually scared
that you're gonna play with my balls.
Any other day, that would be great.
Would it be a problem
if I asked you to do it slowly?
I'm the doctor.
We don't do the tests.
Boris.
Boris, try to be as gentle as possible
with Oren here, okay?
What's going to happen
is that he's going to insert
a finger into your rectum
and then he's going to massage
your prostrate vigorously, okay?
It's just that your condition is very rare.
-What caused it, an injury?
Probably not, it's usually
a virus or an inflammation.
It can also be a result
of temperature changes,
sperm is very sensitive
to temperature changes, so...
I know you what the problem is...
Stop it, hold on.
Hold on, Boris.
Back up, Boris.
Boris, Boris.
Back up, Boris.
and then I defrosted...
I defrosted it!
Boris
He left school.
He's not answering his phone.
Did you talk to him?
No way. -You ruined my life,
do you realize that?
Mom always said that great love
is worth risking everything for
but you are a stingy,
cowardly, shallow man!
You think you're an artist, but you're
just like everyone else, a coward.
Let's relax, Shir honey.
I'm not a rock star.
I'm a stand-up comedian
we're regular folks.
A suburban home, kids,
a sweet wife.
All I've got is an interesting
point of view on life, that's all.
And I'd do anything for you,
even things you don't understand.
I'm going to kill myself because of you.
-Will you just cut that crap, please.
Dad!
Fuck, what now?
What now?
Dad!
Dad!
Oh my god,
what happened to him?
Jonathan took Mom's pills!
-Come here.
Shir, start the car,
the keys are in my bag.
Dad, is he going
Dad, I'm 16.
I don't have a license.
Shir, we've got no choice.
This is an emergency.
Get in the car,
tell you what to do.
Go, go, go!
Stay with me, Jonathan.
Open your eyes.
Shir, go fast. Don't stop for anything.
Go fast!
I have a child who took pills.
-Give him to me!
I need an IV...
-Put him down here.
Every so often, every woman thinks about
what her life will look like without her.
In my last moments,
my heart was bursting with great anxiety.
Sir, please stay outside.
-No, I'm staying with my kid.
You must stay outside for this.
-I have to stay with him.
Jonathan, I'm here with you.
How will they manage
when I'm not he re?
My husband isn't the type
who can manage without his wife.
And suddenly,
it swept over me.
I have to stay with him,
I'm not leaving him.
Jonathan...
This great longing.
Not for what had already happened,
but a longing for all the years
to come.
For my sweet children
and my strange husband.
And I saw them,
which is 18 cups.
If you lose 7 cups,
you're a goner.
It's better not to know
these facts
when the main artery in your leg
has been severed,
but my mom
wanted me to go to med school,
and of all things,
this one stuck in my mind.
They say that the last thing you do
before you die defines your life.
Well, in my case,
this is definitely right.
Instead of seeing
my whole life flash before me
I saw what would happen
after I was gone.
Ever since we climbed
this mountain,
it feels like we're sinking.
Just sinking and sinking.
Zionism won't survive
if we do not sacrifice ourselves for it.
Avshalom,
I feel a burning passion,
a passion for the land,
a physical burning passion.
And then you
you and Tomer...
-Yes.
Who plays this role in the play.
Every time I'm onstage, I feel like
a disabled person who lost a leg
and then got it back.
-Because you're a real actress.
Real actors are people
who are lacking something,
who don't feel whole
anywhere else. -Really?
Sure.
-I'm so happy you said that.
Oh no.
Fuck. Fuck!
No. . .
Dad. -Eden, when you guys were born,
no one told me about the wear and tear.
You think Amir will be okay
with wearing pink from now on?
Dad, Jonathan's depressed.
-Why?
He's in love with Lihi Amzaleg Stern
the class queen,
he doesn't stand a chance with her.
He's way out of her league,
tell him to forget about her.
You really think
I'm gonna do that?
Jonathan is a Nehama, we always go
for the class queen, even if it's hopeless.
Tell him to come here.
Jonathan!
I can yell too.
Go get him.
Jonathan!
-Eden, go get him!
He doesn't want to come.
Johnny, sweetie.
Are you depressed?
I don't know.
Are you in love
with Lia Buzaglo Feldman?
Who? -Lihi Amzaleg Stern.
-Same same.
Are you in love with her?
I don't know.
Listen to me.
-Forget about her, Johnny.
If she doesn't want you,
forget about her, okay? -Eden, let me.
You guys know how
me and your mom fell in love?
I came to play at a club
where she was working,
she was the most beautiful woman
in the room, the queen of the place
and I made her laugh,
she was cracking up...
Remember how Mom's nostrils
used to quiver when she laughed?
That's what happened,
she laughed so hard,
and that was how I got her
because I was comical.
There's a very well-known rule
of romance:
If you made her laugh but didn't do her,
it's your fault. -Ew, Dad, stop.
Sorry, scratch that sentence.
So you go up to Lia tomorrow...
Lihi.
-Same same, Eden.
And you tell her: Hey, you know how
the teacher screams: "Excuse me,"
and then the tough guy gets up
and says: "You're not excused"?
Then you tell her
your joke about the turtle,
remember it?
That's good stuff, sweetie. Okay?
You're an amazing kid. You're smart
handsome. You're perfect.
You'll make her laugh
and she'll be your girlfriend.
All the girls
will be jealous of her, got it?
Dad, what are you doing?
He's gonna get bullied.
Eden, I gave you the same advice when you
were his age and look where you are today.
Dad, I never listened to you,
and yeah, just look at where I am.
Eden,
don't get all Beyonce on me, okay?
Okay, I remember the story
of how we met a little differently.
He really did come to play
at the pathetic club where I was working.
My mom made me pay my way
through college.
Okay, are we focused?
Yes. -Kick off with "Mortal Combat.
-Yeah.
Go right to the deer after that.
-You're not...
No, don't come all iffy. Be confident.
-We're gonna nail 'em!
I love you, man.
I love you.
Hey, sister,
this place smells like insecticide.
It's killing us .
The whole joint is carcinogenic.
I'm the waitress, "brother." I'm not in char
of security. What do you want me to do?
I'm going straight to the ER from here
wanna come with?
Okay, they asked me to tell you guys
that you're on in five.
It's an CPA's firm,
they asked to skip the...
"bro" routines, no profanity
and no racial stuff.
No way, that's all our material.
Dvora, we're toast!
Chill.
We kick off with "Mortal Combat"
and we go straight to the deer.
-But the deer is racial too! -Chill.
The moment I saw Asi, I knew
he was the handsomest man I ever saw.
Want a beer or something?
Sure, sweetie.
Do you guys have anything natural
like fresh orange juice? -No.
My future husband
looked like a total jerk
with his deer costume
and his hysterics.
Wow!
Wow.
-Yeah?
Yeah, she's a mega-babe.
-I didn't get that excited.
Are you nuts?
-Okay, relax.
Hold on, slap me.
Not hard, not hard.
After the show,
which didn't make me laugh at all...
Tough night, huh? -Why?
-Because they didn't laugh.
I realized that
I really hated stand-up comedy.
They threw fries at us.
Hey, listen,
you need to announce
that the owner of the car with
license plate 532-735-5453-996
has to move it,
'cause its plate is blocking the entrance.
That has to be in the show.
She laughed, that's good.
Guy kept trying to make me laugh
and I realized
that I was going to hate this person,
if we kept in touch.
My brother has no luck.
He decided to be a crook.
First car he stole
was a carbomb.
I'd invite you to an orgy,
but turns out that I have social anxiety,
so I can't.
You look a little pale, want me to check
if there's a vet in the house?
Are you a Hod Hasharon Nehama?
-Yeah.
We used to be Goldbergs,
but I changed it to Nehama,
so it would sound more down-to-earth.
Is your brother Oren Nehama?
-Yeah, you know him?
He is such a jerk.
We were in India together.
Shut up.
My brother's a genius.
Not when he's on opium
He was the joke of Goa
chasing girls around, high as a kite.
Your brother's a serious asshole.
Say one more thing about my brother
and I'll fuck you up.
I'll push your head
into a melted cheese sandwich
I'll kick you r ass .
-Hey, kid, I'm Ezra's son,
the guy who signs your check for the show.
-Check? We take cash.
So if I say your brother's a jerk,
you smile and say he's a jerk.
Oh yeah? -Yeah.
-Oh yeah? -Yeah.
Is that the deal?
-Yeah. -Oh yeah?
You son of a bitch!
And that was the moment.
It was in that second,
when Nehama was so loyal to his family
that I suddenly realized
that Nehama was quite good-looking
and I decided to go out with him
and not with Asi Dvora.
It was one second of luck.
So many things had to align by chance,
just so our family would happen.
Are you crazy?
You almost hurt me.
Ouch.
Listen,
you've been
mentally undressing me all evening
and it's making me
feel uncomfortable,
so if you insist, I'll give you
my home number,
my work number and the pager
I got from college security.
Call me,
leave a voice message
and I'll get back to you
within 48 hours.
That's my policy with girls
who hit on me, okay?
Funny
What did you say
your name was?
Tama r.
You gotta give him that.
The jerk had guts.
Lihi?
What?
Wanna hear a joke?
Okay. . .
So these two turtles
are walking in the woods
and one of them had no shell
he was naked.
So the other turtle goes:
"Why are you naked?"
So the turtle says,
"Because I ran away from home.
Don't even talk to me, you idiot.
A naked turtle?
Pervert.
Idea for a story:
Once there was a woman
who was married
to the same man for many years.
She raised five children,
and at first she thought
there was nothing better or braver
than the choice she had made,
even though her mother always said:
"You'll wake up one day
"and realize your life has gone by
and you've done nothing."
And one day
she did wake up, terrified:
Maybe this was all a mistake?
Maybe she should've continued on
a career path like all her normal friends?
At first, she didn't understand
what she was feeling
and definitely couldn't admit it
to anyone.
You won't believe
what a dick Arik is.
We had this meeting with
Bio-Ness Pharmaceutic yesterday
and he said that our system can send
periodic reports on demand,
which doesn't really exist in the system,
Alexei hasn't developed it yet,
so guess who has to deal with
Me.
Don't, I have a headache.
-Wait, what's going on?
Tamar.
Where are you going?
I want to hug you.
I'm not having sex with you today.
Who wants to have sex with you?
I just want to hug you,
what's wrong with that? -Yeah, right.
Okay, I want to have sex with you.
Sue me, okay?
Your husband is attracted to you,
is hot for you. Post it on Facebook.
"My husband loves me and wants me,
please sha re."
You're such an idiot,
with all these stories from work.
It' s been two weeks.
You're keeping track?
-Yes, it's important.
It's what keeps the relationship running,
it's not the good conversations
or the quality of the relationship,
it's only the frequency of sex.
Twice a week,
then everything's fine.
Maybe for you,
'cause you're like an ape.
I could be dying and you wouldn't notice
if I had sex with you twice a week.
Probably.
-There you go.
But women need it too.
If you don't get my passionate love
every so often,
you turn into a bitch from hell.
I didn't mean it like that.
Stop.
If you lash out at me now,
you'll just be proving my point.
I want to go to India
for a month.
I can't stand it here any longe
I'm going crazy.
I almost shaved off
my eyebrows today.
I'd still be attracted to you
without them.
What's the deal with India again?
Orit took a yoga course in Dharamsala
I want to take it too.
You may not realize this,
but you don't do yoga.
You can't leave me here
with 5 kids.
I'm a sole provider...
Listen, I. . .
You'll come home one day
and find me dead.
I'll die right he re on
the floor. From sadness.
Tama r.
Listen, I saw this documentary,
you should've watched it with me.
It's about the philosopher
Betty Friedan
who wrote "The Feminine Mystique
it's about an unnamed problem,
about intelligent women like you
who decided to raise their kids at home
and suddenly in their midlife,
they find themselves with perfect kids,
a perfect house and a perfect husband,
but they're depressed.
What's perfect about you?
They didn't say that in the film.
I'm no doctor,
but I think this can only be cured
with sex once a week,
and I'm making a concession here.
All right, I'll have sex,
but it doesn't have to be with you.
All the couples we know
who stopped having sex
eventually cheated on each other.
-Is that a threat?
No, but that's life,
it's the dynamics of life.
I'm a loving, passionate person
and if we don't have sex,
I get starved
and then this cute girl will come along
and I'll make her laugh,
she 'll go, "Ha ha ha
and boom, the deal is sealed.
It can happen to you too.
I've seen all the men in the kids' classes
and that lesbian mom
mentally undressing you.
February 5th, 2026.
Make a note of it. -What's that?
The next time I'll have sex with you
after this conversation.
See? That's not fair.
When you're funny,
you're sexier.
And this is abuse.
You're abusing the victim.
You can starve me,
but don't make me laugh.
You ape.
But I'm you r ape.
Give it to me.
It's... work.
Hey, want some coffee?
You've got coffee. It's "Chemical Berlin,
they're killing me, these Germans.
Now consider how her feelings
turn from frustration to anger
when she starts suspecting
her husband is cheating on her.
No way,
he's not cheating on you.
He's the most loyal man in the world.
-That's what I thought too.
He's very passionate,
I see how he looks at girls on the street.
He just lives by a rulebook
and the first page of the book says
that he has to be loyal to his family.
So what's changed?
Dana Khen, from his work.
-Dana Khen?
She's j ust his type.
Six years younger than me
no kids, no moods,
texts him at night
about her issues with her boyfriend.
I saw them at the party
on the balcony.
They were intimate,
I'm telling you.
I don't get it,
she's so young and pretty and amazing,
but she's in love with him,
I'm telling you.
Family wrecker.
Okay, listen,
I'm sending you an app,
install it on his phone.
It checks his messages,
records his calls... -No way.
Yes, everything, Tamar.
Install it on your phone too
and he'll never know what you're up to.
How do you know all this stuff?
I got divorced, Tamar.
You were snooping on Danny?
I didn't know that.
Yeah, well,
you don't have to tell everything.
How did you think I found out
he was addicted to S&M and Pilipinas?
Loser.
-Totally.
And that's how it all began.
I became an expert
in espionage and snooping.
I started learning about
all that technology that I hated.
And when those messages
that he deleted came in
all that was there was...
Dana, I know that the girl
from "Chemical Berlin" wants me
and it's my dream to screw a German girl
and get even for the Holocaust,
but I'll always be faithful to Tamar.
Always .
And there was also.. .
Melanie is hot.
That's a fact.
But I saw Tamar giving birth
5 times without an epidural!
At the first sign of labor,
Melanie will go for a C-section.
No good sex, no love.
My husband's loyalty to me was
like someone's loyalty to the military.
What surprised me most was that
when I found out that he was faithful
I felt disappointed.
I was kind of hoping
he was cheating on me,
because that would justify
me doing something too.
I lost 6 kilos in 2 months.
-Get out of here.
No one ever hits on me, I don't get it.
-Stop wearing those suburban rags.
What did you find on his phone?
-Nothing.
I'm almost 40 and I haven't had
a single significant relationship
apart from Guy.
-Come on, he's not your first.
In many ways he is.
I want to be loved.
-Oh, so 5 kids isn't enough.
Kids don't love their mother,
they need her.
No, seriously.
Guy's love isn't enough for me.
He'd have sex with me even if
I shaved my eyebrows. He doesn't care.
I'm just there, available.
Look, you don't have to pay the price
that your husband isn't cheating on you.
Seriously.
Today, it's young men.
In 5 years,
'll be guys in their 60s.
Tama r.
Wow.
-What's up?
You're looking good.
You're so hot.
-Thanks, babe. -This is great,
coming home like this.
The kids aren't home, are they?
When will they be back?
-In a couple hours.
You lost so much weight.
-Yeah. It shows, huh?
Sure does.
-Six kilos.
Get out of here.
-I stopped eating carbs. -Not good.
Not good at all, Tamar.
Where did you go?
-That's Why?
really not good.
that if you lose weight too fast
your heart loses muscle mass
and you can drop dead
in the middle of the night.
That would really stress me out
it would scar me for life.
It's very dangerous. You've got to do
a general checkup if you're working out.
You've got to start with that, okay?
-Okay. -Make an appointment today.
I can't have you die. You know
how many babes will be fighting
right here at the doorstep
to replace you? -Okay.
Let me continue.
-I know some of them too.
Tamar, I'd like to run some tests.
Is something wrong
with my heart?
No, no. Your heart looks fine
and you look like you're in great shape.
You know, it's just
to rule out the things... okay?
Look, here's the phone number
of the clinic,
okay?
Tell them it's urgent.
No need to be alarmed,
on the other hand,
we want to rule things out, okay?
-Okay.
And that was it.
Suddenly the doctors got scared
they brought in an oncologist, I went to
see another one. But the result was clear.
Tama
there's no easy way to say this.
It's what we thought.
It's cancer.
And it's advanced, stage 4.
We're starting
aggressive treatment immediately.
We'll attack it and wipe it out.
It's possible.
Okay?
I've seen everything in my career.
Cancer is a monster,
but you can fight it.
Have you told your husband?
I'm going to tell him today.
" Nehama
Th row it. . .
Not like that!
Whoa !
Hey, sweetie.
You think Messi invented soccer.
What about Maradona and Pele?
Yes there was. -There was?
-Were you crying?
No, it's all right. -What happened?
-Nothing, my mom pissed me off, I'm fine.
Don't let her affect you that way.
-It's okay.
I couldn't tell him.
They were so sweet together
and I didn't want to ruin it.
How are you, sweetie?
All I could think of was that I had
6 months to organize their lives without me.
That's not your sweater
it's Mom's sweater.
No, it's my sweater.
-No, it's Mom's sweater.
No, it's my sweater!
Dad put it in Mom's room by mistake.
Get out of here.
Dad.
Yes, sweetie?
I want you to make me
an appointment with a gynecologist.
Okay. . .
What happened?
Dad. . .
Shir, you'd tell Mom
wouldn't you?
Now I'm replacing
her, it's my job. Tell me.
Shir, trust me. I'm
here for you, talk to me.
What?
I want to start taking the pill.
-Are you crazy? Are you nuts?
See why I can't talk to you?
Just make me an appointment.
-Sorry.
I had an extreme reaction,
it was the heat of the moment.
Now I'll give you
my official reaction.
Why does my very young daughter
want the pill now?
It'll regulate my period
and hormone levels.
It'll make me less crazy
when I get my period.
Okay, good one.
Did Mom give you the talk?
Dad. . .
-If you have sex with someone
pills aren't enough.
You have to use a condom too.
A condom is a kind of rubber...
-Dad...
I know what a condom is.
Not from actual knowledge, right?
From stuff you read online...
No, I'm a virgin.
Wow, relief.
Did Mom tell you that...
the stuff you see on porn
isn't what happens in life later?
I don't watch porn. -Okay.
And it's only to regulate my period, okay?
-All right.
Okay.
Is there anything you want
to ask me about this?
Anything. -No. -Ask me.
-No questions. -Ask.
I don't have any questions. -You can't
start before you're 21 or 22. 22.
At what age did Mom start?
Your mom was different,
she came from a broken home.
She had a single mom, no dad.
You know what an idiot that Leah is.
Mom did some stupid things
you don't want to do that.
And most importantly, you don't do
oral sex, ever. It's death, okay?
You can receive it, but only
when you're 22. But don't give it.
Dad, you sound like a Bedouin.
Not everything those guys say
is that bad.
Shir!
Shir.
You gave that girl so many
psychological complexes in that one talk.
Okay, Oren, I know.
Why overemphasize the point?
This Bin Laden just came out of me,
I couldn't help it.
You can't blame him.
For a dad, just thinking
about someone touching his daughter
is the hardest thing in the world.
If I had a daughter,
I'd kill him.
Better than her staying stuck at home
like some old maid. -Oh no.
There's no way she's still a virgin.
-Here.
They start very early nowadays.
Ask her for her phone.
If she gives it to you,
that means she's hiding something.
She's ready for it,
she deleted what she had to.
If she won't let you touch the device
that means she's not doing anything.
Nonsense. You don't know Shir.
She's such an undeveloped girl.
She puts men off
with her behavior.
She'll be the last one.
Eden will do it before her,
and she's 13 or 14.
No, man,
I stopped smoking weed lately.
Me and my wife
are trying to get pregnant.
Oh.
-Check this out.
You're with Michal Salomon again?
What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with me?
Do you realize I got her pregnant?
No way,
you got someone else pregnant
and now you're trying
to get your wife pregnant?
All these years,
I thought I'd never be a father.
Now I know
I'll be great at it.
All those loops and obsessiveness
I used to get into,
they're an advantage.
I'll obsess over my kids.
nvy your divorce lawy
And you'It have one.
Eden's 13.
Now I'm sure.
She was a year old
in the second Lebanon War.
I had this dream last night.
We're going to have 7 kids.
4 girls and 3 boys.
I even know their names:
Shalhevet, Zohar,
Yinon, Tzofnat...
Michail, you've got to relax.
All these years, we didn't realize
that this is all we need.
I was born to be a mom.
I'll be an amazing mom.
Michal... -They'll play in the fields
we'll move to the country.
Honey, you're manic,
you have to start taking your pills again.
There's no way I'm putting that poison
in my body before I get pregnant.
I feel great, Oren.
I'm ove r it.
Come on, sweetie,
you know yourself.
You're gonna be high for 3 weeks,
then you 'll crash.
Not this time.
Shut up.
The kids will give me strength.
This is for life.
I was at a baby store.
-What?
Which one?
What's their return policy?
Sweetie, please don't bring me down.
Come to bed.
I can't have sex with you now, babe.
I have to do the sperm test.
You'll bring down my results.
Sweetie, you're
You're gonna give them
the highest mark they ever had.
Want to help me with the cup?
I'm sure that with you,
the results will be completely different.
What did you get?
-An amazing bedroom set.
A bed, a changing dresser,
a changing surface,
this crazy buggy,
it comes with a car seat
and it all fits together.
It's Swiss...
Oren, I'm not crazy.
I really don't need
these negative vibes right now.
I'm going to get some fresh air
this is such a downer.
Honey.
Honey, leave the credit card here.
I took both of them.
I asked to see you both,
because I wanted to do it face to face.
Oren's sperm test results came in.
Oren, you had
1,400,000 live sperm.
Yes
Fuck, you wouldn't believe
the stress I was in, my god.
1,400,000. Lebron James
doesn't get that kind of percentage.
Oren, less than 5,000,000 is a condition
called severe oligospermia.
You had 0.26% live sperm.
That's a very low
and worrying figure.
0.26?
Yes, it's a very advanced stage
of testicular breakdown,
along with the unidentified
prostrate inflammation which was...
He had unprotected sex
with many girls in Thailand.
What's that got to do with it?
I'm making you an urgent appointment
for a seven-vial test.
We shouldn't put it off.
It's a physical examination
of the prostrate gland. Do you know
where the prostrate is located?
In the butt.
Yes, it's a good way to obtain sperm
that we might be able to use.
It's painful,
so I suggest we do it under anesthesia.
No way.
-It's unpleasant and painful.
Forget it,
I'm not putting drugs in my body.
You know how it begins,
but you don't know where it ends.
He's right, do it without.
She had no mercy,
just shot you down.
What an asshole.
You realize that I'm not a man, Michali?
Underneath all my facade,
I'm not a man.
That's right.
This is where you're supposed
to say it's not true.
Just think of all the birth control pills
I took all these years.
And all those times
you came outside for no reason.
I want to break up.
I'm not on your level
and I never was.
Does your sperm count really define
how much of a man you are? -Yes.
That, and the intensity
of the erection.
All these years I thought it was genetic
and I was super-fertile like Guy.
Listen,
you're the love of my life,
we're both damaged people,
but we don’t give a shit.
We can get over anything. Since when
do you listen to doctors and figures?
Worse comes to worst,
we'll adopt. So what?
Maybe it's for the better.
I won't get fat...
You think I'll adopt some
retarded junkie's baby? I'm not a saint.
Then we can get an African kid
save someone. -Oh, sure,
I'll walk around with a red-haired mother
and a black kid.
Don't you get
that this is my karma?
It's punishment for all
the terrible things I did. -Oren...
Wipes.
Yes, these.
Put them here...
Who is
Who's "Avshalom taxi driver"?
It's Avshi, from poker.
What's up, bro?
Why are you calling me?
She nearly answered.
I would have shut up.
I'm not stupid.
I missed you.
Shir, you're a sweet girl,
but don't be crazy.
Don't ever call me again,
only I call you.
I can't sleep.
I can't eat.
My dad is such an idiot,
he's driving us crazy.
I'm thinking about you.
-We're artists
and risk-taking keeps us going, but...
it was just a momentary loss of control
because we were working on your part,
nothing more.
I think about death all the time.
That's good, Shir.
We're artists. That's good.
What's up,
You're thinking about Mom.
I'm having an affair
with my drama teacher.
He's married to an insane woman
and he's going to leave her.
Wow, Shir.
We ' re in love .
In love?
Ew. With a teacher?
You know that they're the enemy.
Don't tell anyone, Amir.
I'll kill you.
I want to kill myself.
To throw myself
on the train tracks.
How will you get there?
It's 5 kilometers away.
Then I'll take Mom's
Amir, come and brush your teeth.
I'll check you.
If you touch me,
I'll break your fingers.
Eden, I'm going
to tell you something
but you have to promise
not to tell anyone.
Cool.
-Eden, look me in the eyes.
You won't tell anyone.
-Okay.
Grandma?
Yes, I'm fine.
This is the only place
I can talk to you without anyone hearing.
Listen, I have some
classified information
that you really want to know
about Shir and her teacher.
Yes
But you can't tell anyone, okay?
Guy? -Leah, what's up?
It's Oren.
Guy's onstage. Are you with the kids?
Is everything all right?
Listen, Eden just told me
that Shir is having sex
with teachers at school.
Did you hear anything about this?
Teachers?
That doesn't make sense.
Have you seen her report card?
Straight F's.
Not in literature or in drama.
He's 25, the pervert.
Tell Guy to call me
when he gets offstage.
I'll tell him all the details.
Leah, I suggest
we don't tell him anything.
What do you mean,
we don't tell him anything?
He's their father,
'm their grandmother.
She's a minor!
My brother is in a bad state.
Let's not tell him anything,
I'll take care of it.
How will you take care
I'll talk to Shir.
No, I don't like that idea.
I'm like a father to these kids.
I feel responsible for them.
Shir and I are especially close. Trust me
Leah. This will be behind us in 24 hours.
This is making my stomach turn.
You know, Tamar spoke to me
just before she passed away.
She asked me to take responsibility
for these kids.
I suggest we honor
your daughter's request.
Hey.
What's up, Badani?
What about your ex,
did you go and talk to her?
There's no need.
I took a fertility test.
I'm infertile.
I have one sperm that works,
and even he has a damaged tail.
I can't make anyone pregnant
without fertility treatments.
I'm not the father.
Fuck, bro.
Wanna have a smoke?
-Yeah.
Guy, I need you to give me
some of your sperm.
What?
We'll use it for fertilization
and that will be that.
Are you crazy? You want me
to give you my sperm?
Yeah, why not?
Help me out here, we're brothers,
we share everything, don't we?
Yeah, but this isn't a bag of chips,
it's my testicles.
Who shares that stuff?
We won't tell anyone,
we'll take it to the grave.
We won't tell our parents
or Michal or the kids.
It's not just your genes, it's...
Just consider how much
I appreciate your kids
if I'm asking you
to do something like this.
Okay, but...
I'll see that kid all the time.
weird.
If it bothers you,
we won't be in touch.
I'm fine with that,
but do you really think
I'll let someone else raise my kid?
Even if it's you.
-Yeah?
Oh, so you're Dad of the Year. It's 2 a.m.
and you're here. Where are the kids?
So I hang out with the guys
from the club once a week, big deal.
Eden gets them dressed in the morning
and then I drive them.
It's all good.
But they need you to talk to them,
to be with them...
All that shit that kids need.
Tamar would never agree to that.
She'd also be okay with you
giving me sperm.
Let's not talk about Tamar.
Are you serious?
-Yeah, she betrayed me.
Why?
Because she spared you?
Because she didn't tell you
she had cancer? That's betrayal?
You're not making any sense, Oren.
She had apps for deleting messages
different passwords everywhere.
You don't do that when you have cancer.
She did that
because she had a man.
Hey! What's up with you?
-What's up with you?
I can't stand you,
look at yourself.
And if she kissed someone else
what's the big deal?
Does that erase
all those years you spent together?
You know why
you can say something like that?
Because you don't know how to love.
-I love you, you idiot.
Look at yourself.
You've always been my role model
and now you're behaving like I would
it's awful.
not touching anyone.
Too bad, at least
you'd have a reason.
Instead, you just tell your pathetic jokes
and you're not there. -I'm there.
You're not there. -I'm there.
-Your children are lost at home
and you're not there.
-Oren, I'm the re.
People are dying
right in front of you.
I'm dying right in front of you.
They told me I'm infertile
and you drink your spirulina
and talk nonsense.
You know that I know everything.
What do you know?
Eve rything.
And you've got to stop it now.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Shir, you're having an affair
with your gym teacher.
My gym teacher is a woman,
not a man.
-Shi ri .
Oren, there was one moment
with my drama teacher,
one moment where we hugged.
That's all.
And we were just working
on my character.
Oh yeah?
Well, I'll work on his character too,
only my process will include
a trunk and a crowbar.
No, you won't do anything.
Swear you won't.
Swear on Mom's grave.
And you won't tell Dad anything
because he won't understand it
and he'll get a heart attack
and die.
You'll kill him.
And nothing happened. Just that
one moment that I told my siblings about
but those little shits
can't keep their mouths shut
and tomorrow they'll all wake up
with no hair on their heads.
It's nothing.
I don't even have
his phone number.
Come on, Oren.
Look at me.
You won't do or say anything,
will you?
Oren, look into my eyes.
You believe me, don't you?
Shiri, these things happen.
I should know.
But it's over,
right?
I swear, on Mom's grave.
On her memory.
Okay?
Can I have your phone for a sec?
I want to check something.
Here, take it, I don't care.
There's nothing there.
Check it now.
Hey!
Get out of here!
Get out!
Jonathan.
Open up, it's Eden.
Dad.
Dad.
Dad.
Dad!
Where' s
Where' s
Itai almost fell down the stairs
Amir's watching him now.
Eden, let me sleep. Watch him. I didn't
sleep all night, I'm wasted. -Dad, listen.
I think Jonathan's class
is bullying him.
How do you know? -Trust me,
when I get info, it's certain.
You should've told him to give up
on that girl. You made him delusional.
Really, Eden?
That would make me a good father?
Telling him to lower his expectations
from life? To give up on his dreams?
Even if he tried to hit on her and it
didn't work out, he's still a superhero.
Remember that.
For love, you do silly things.
That explains
what's going on with Shir.
What's going on with Shir?
Eden.
What's going on with
Come here.
You're sleeping with your drama,
literature and geography teacher.
What are you, Lolita?
He's a married man.
I can't believe
you believe that nonsense.
Who told you, Oren,
that flop?
All the kids confirmed it.
I'll murder you guys.
Why make up stuff? It's not true.
Is that why you wanted me
to get you the pill?
I'll take you to a doctor
and have you sewn up down there.
He's 50.
-He's 25.
You'd know that
if you ever visited my school.
I'm moving you
to a religious school for girls.
Get your skirts ready
and learn your prayers.
I'm continuing at school
and I want a psychologist,
because I'm going crazy, Dad.
I'm going crazy.
I'm not paying someone
130 bucks an hour
so he can tell you why all your issues are
my fault. I'm not falling into that trap.
That's basic. -Dad, people commit suicide
over unrequited love.
I'm going to slit my wrists.
-Listen here, Shir.
Get serious first.
Cut your finger while slicing veggies,
take a couple of pills by mistake.
I hear only threats from you.
You don't call in an exterminator
if you don't see rats.
I'll kill myself, I'm telling you.
I'll take Mom's pills,
I'll get in the bath and drown.
Dad.. .
-Eden, shut up.
I've listened to you so far
and see where it's got us.
Dad, if you talk to him,
I'll never speak to you again.
I'll never forgive you.
Swear you won't.
Swear you won't talk to him.
I won't talk to him.
He's sweet.
-Thank you.
Let me help you with the bags.
I'm fine. -No, I know what it's like
with little kids. You'll break your back.
It's fine, thanks.
I don't want to bring you down
but I was in your situation
and it hurts me to see you.
-What situation? With a baby?
No, with a partner
who's cheating on you.
I went through it with my wife,
it'll never leave you.
It's horrible that I'm the one
who's telling you this... -Who are you?
You're Shlomit Horev
and you're married to Ido, the teacher?
Is he having an affair with your wife?
-I wish.
You'll have to leave town.
Your heart's breaking.
I feel your pain,
but I have to protect my daughter.
How do you know?
Sorry to ask, but is he having
more sex with you than usual?
Ask him for his phone.
If he gives it to you
without hesitating, he's cheating.
Hey.
Are you an asshole?
Are you?
Give me your phone.
Here.
Oren.
Good luck, sweet
love you.
Change into the gown
and wait on the bed
on all fours.
I was hoping you'd say that.
Are you in the process
of getting divorced?
How did you know?
There's a ring tan mark on your finger
but no ring.
It's not easy being married
when you're a doctor.
It's never easy, sweetheart.
Not when you're a fire fighter
or a police officer,
it's not easy for anyone.
I'm very attractive to women
right now, you know. -Why's that?
Just think, I'm sterile.
No chance
of an unwanted pregnancy.
Are you going to hurt me now?
Be gentle with me, okay?
I can't believe I'm actually scared
that you're gonna play with my balls.
Any other day, that would be great.
Would it be a problem
if I asked you to do it slowly?
I'm the doctor.
We don't do the tests.
Boris.
Boris, try to be as gentle as possible
with Oren here, okay?
What's going to happen
is that he's going to insert
a finger into your rectum
and then he's going to massage
your prostrate vigorously, okay?
It's just that your condition is very rare.
-What caused it, an injury?
Probably not, it's usually
a virus or an inflammation.
It can also be a result
of temperature changes,
sperm is very sensitive
to temperature changes, so...
I know you what the problem is...
Stop it, hold on.
Hold on, Boris.
Back up, Boris.
Boris, Boris.
Back up, Boris.
and then I defrosted...
I defrosted it!
Boris
He left school.
He's not answering his phone.
Did you talk to him?
No way. -You ruined my life,
do you realize that?
Mom always said that great love
is worth risking everything for
but you are a stingy,
cowardly, shallow man!
You think you're an artist, but you're
just like everyone else, a coward.
Let's relax, Shir honey.
I'm not a rock star.
I'm a stand-up comedian
we're regular folks.
A suburban home, kids,
a sweet wife.
All I've got is an interesting
point of view on life, that's all.
And I'd do anything for you,
even things you don't understand.
I'm going to kill myself because of you.
-Will you just cut that crap, please.
Dad!
Fuck, what now?
What now?
Dad!
Dad!
Oh my god,
what happened to him?
Jonathan took Mom's pills!
-Come here.
Shir, start the car,
the keys are in my bag.
Dad, is he going
Dad, I'm 16.
I don't have a license.
Shir, we've got no choice.
This is an emergency.
Get in the car,
tell you what to do.
Go, go, go!
Stay with me, Jonathan.
Open your eyes.
Shir, go fast. Don't stop for anything.
Go fast!
I have a child who took pills.
-Give him to me!
I need an IV...
-Put him down here.
Every so often, every woman thinks about
what her life will look like without her.
In my last moments,
my heart was bursting with great anxiety.
Sir, please stay outside.
-No, I'm staying with my kid.
You must stay outside for this.
-I have to stay with him.
Jonathan, I'm here with you.
How will they manage
when I'm not he re?
My husband isn't the type
who can manage without his wife.
And suddenly,
it swept over me.
I have to stay with him,
I'm not leaving him.
Jonathan...
This great longing.
Not for what had already happened,
but a longing for all the years
to come.
For my sweet children
and my strange husband.
And I saw them,