Ned and Stacey (1995–2017): Season 1, Episode 17 - Promotional Rescue - full transcript
Ned manages to get a reluctant Eric a promotion after Amanda asks Ned to put in a good word to his bosses. Stacey is less than impressed at her new job writing for an airline magazine. Eric...
What the hell is going on down
here with you accounting people?
With your loud bossa nova music,
and the rattling
pocket protectors.
We can't hear
ourselves think upstairs.
He's just kidding, guys.
Yeah, I'm just kidding
around with you.
No, I'm not!
Oh, I'm just kidding
with you again.
Not!
Am. Not!
Am. Not! Ned, Ned, Ned.
Don't get these
guys overexcited.
They can't think.
Here, try some...
Try some punch.
It's spiked with
Harveys Bristol Cream.
I am feelin' no pain.
What's with all the festivities?
The accounting department's
throwing a small bash
for our leader, Jack
Drummond. It's his last day.
Ahh, is old Jack leaving?
Well, I should say
goodbye. Where is he?
Oh, he called in sick.
So you need something?
Yeah, actually, I need
some blank budget forms.
Word on the street's
you're the man.
Oh, yeah.
I got them right over here.
It's a little busy, but, uh...
Ah, it works for me.
Oh, yeah, Jack gave it to me
when he cleared out his office.
I didn't wanna hurt his
feelings. This is them.
Why do you need them?
Oh, I'm putting together
that presentation
for the Orion Sneaker account.
Oh, Orion. That's a biggie.
Yeah, you ought to see the
computer stuff I came up with.
It's... gnarly.
Hey, are you guys
coming over for bridge?
Yeah, 8:00.
Roger that. See you then.
Arf! Arf! Meow. Meow. Arf!
- Why Stacey?
- Why Ned?
It was business.
Strictly business.
Here's the deal.
To get the promotion,
I needed the wife.
See, to get a life, I
needed his apartment.
So, what the hell, we
up and got married.
The only thing we
have in common?
We irritate each other. Right.
Enjoy the show.
Ah, full of spades, huh?
Maybe. Maybe not.
Okay, here we go.
Are you trying to
look at my cards?
For your information,
Miss Suspicious,
I was trying to look
down your shirt.
And let me say there are no
ripe melons on the fruit cart.
For God sakes,
honey, leave him alone.
So how's your job goin', Stace?
Oh, God, I think writing
for an airline magazine
is gonna drive me insane.
Everything has to be so fluffy.
I just wish they'd let me write
something more provocative.
How about:
"Oh, My God, We're Gonna Crash!"
by Stacey Colbert?
Anyway, now they want me to
write a profile on Kyle Roberts.
You know that New Age guru.
Oh, yeah.
Isn't he that good-looking,
but really creepy guy
in expensive suits?
Oh, no, that's Ned.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Ooh. Hey, come on.
You know, guys like Roberts
just make a fortune exploiting
desperate, unhappy people
with their stupid
New Age bromides.
God, I could tear him apart,
but no, they want a
happy little, puffy little story.
God.
How's your work, Eric?
Well, good, fine, uneventful.
Oh, uneventful?
Today at work they had
some wild disco party
down in Accounting.
Whenever I left,
your husband was dirty
dancing with the janitor, Anton.
What did you have a party for?
Oh, ah, Jack Drummond.
It was his last day.
You didn't tell me
your boss was leaving.
I believe I just did.
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Ooh.
Would you stop it?
So then his job is open, right?
Amanda, come on.
They're gonna give it to who
they're gonna give it to, okay?
No, Eric, they're gonna give
it to whomever goes after it.
Amanda, I've been
there for seven years.
I do good work. I make
my presence known.
Eric, you are the best damn
person in that department...
Amanda, can we
not talk about this?
Can we just finish
this game? But, I...
Fine.
Stacey?
Promise me you and I
will never go to bed angry.
Ned?
Do you have a minute?
How many times must I tell you.
No means no.
Stop it.
I thought you guys left.
Yeah. I told Eric
I forgot my scarf
'cause I wanted to ask
you about something.
Okay. Okay.
When the daddy gets
on top of the mommy...
Ned.
What can I do for you?
Well, it's this thing with
Eric and, uh, the job opening.
I was wondering if you
could talk to Kirkland,
or Haywood.
Uh, whichever one isn't dead,
and, uh, make sure that...
That he understands that...
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Eric is the most qualified
for the job. Whoa. No.
Come on. You know that.
I'm not getting
involved. Come on.
Look, you sat in that room
and you heard what Eric said.
If he gets it, he gets it.
Oh, stop it. You know
he wants that job.
Look, it's just not the sort
of thing that I do, all right?
You mean help people?
Exactly.
Ned. You are the kind of person
that can maneuver and manipulate
his way through life,
and Eric's not like that.
Eric's the kind of person that
looks at the world and says,
"Huh?"
And besides, for some
reason I have yet to fathom
he thinks you're
his best friend.
I'll see ya.
Rrrrgh!
Oh, wow!
Someone's a real
mucky-muck now, huh?
Hey, hey.
Ned, this is so silly.
Oh, come on.
Huh? Behold your kingdom.
With plush carpet and
pinely paneled wall.
All right, now put me
down. Put me down. Okay.
Nice view.
Now, Rico, get right on over
here and don't be frightened.
This is what we call a "window."
Honey, I work in Manhattan.
I'm so proud of you.
Hey, see, now
what did I tell you?
You go along,
you're doing your job,
quietly and... I
might add brilliantly,
and the big guys
upstairs are gonna notice.
You are brilliant,
and you deserve this.
Uh, Stacey, could you pl...? Oh.
Why don't you guys come
over Friday, and we'll celebrate?
That sounds great.
Oh, yeah. Let's do
something special.
Do you guys swing?
Oh, it's so tempting.
Oh, gosh, I'm late
for that stupid Kyle
Roberts self-help seminar.
Wanna come?
I'd rather swing with Ned.
Come on, I'll share
a cab with you.
Bye, honey.
I'll be home around 7.
Bye, Ned.
Okay, now that the
women folk are gone, huh?
Let's sit down, talk
a little business.
All right.
Yeah.
Ah, okay, um...
I'll just, ahem... Well, ahem.
What's up?
Did you get a chance to look
over my Orion budget proposal?
Yeah, actually, I
did, Ned, and, uh...
Good, good. Just wanna
make sure you and I
are on the same page
for tomorrow's meeting.
You know, so do I, Ned, and...
Oh, you know what?
I just remembered.
This is your first big
powwow, huh? Yeah.
I would suggest that
you wear the red culottes.
Ned, Ned, Ned, can we talk
about the budget, please?
What's to talk about?
You came, you saw, you approved.
It's just that some of the
numbers are a tad out of whack.
What do you mean?
Well, you... You said
you could bring this in
for under 35,000, but
with all the special effects
and the morphing and all, it's
gonna cost at least twice that.
All right, now look.
Listen. Just between
you and me...
maybe I massaged the
numbers just a little bit, huh?
Oh, hell, massaged.
I wined 'em, dined 'em,
bent 'em over the
hood of my car.
That's funny, Ned,
but the thing is,
I don't know that I can
sign off on this thing.
Rico. Listen.
The Orion account is worth
$7 million to this company.
When we get it, and we will,
no one cares the presentation
went a few thousand over budget.
Yeah, but I just got this job.
Yeah, and you got
the job because...
you are not some "by the
book" number-cruncher. Huh?
You are not just some little man
who worships only
the bottom line.
No. No, no.
You're a man of
guts... and vision.
Right?
I think so.
Okay.
Now, listen, I want
you to sit back,
enjoy your gorgeous,
beautiful office,
which not only have you
earned, but you so richly deserve.
Yeah.
Wow. Ha-ha.
Hi. Good morning.
It's nice, uh, morning.
So are those...? Are
those for anybody?
We could... just...?
Hey, good morning, everybody.
Charlie, how you doing?
Lois, good to see you.
Ernie, listen, the clinic called.
They said, let it scab over,
then put the ointment on.
Hey, buddy, you're looking
sharp this morning. See, I...
I told you wearing men's
clothing would work out best.
Ned, I really think we should
talk about the budget, it's...
Morning, people. Get me a
glass of ice water, will you, Skip?
Morning, Pat. Ned.
Ahhh, our newest
department head.
Welcome to the
47th floor, Mr. Moyer.
I like to think I'm the same
guy I was on the four...
Fourth floor, but thanks.
Ahh, Pat should be thanking you.
After all, he needs
all the help he can get
to cover his lazy rear end.
Oh, Ned.
And it looks like there's
a lot there to cover!
What?
Uhh. I just...
I'm feeling a little dizzy. Not
used to being up this high.
Uh, let's get this meeting
on the road, shall we?
I've got a noon lunch, so
let's try to keep it moving.
Where's my water?
Oh, it's, ah, right...
Right here, sir.
It's fine. It's... It's...
Ahem, that's...
What's first thing
on our agenda?
That would be the
Orion account, Pat.
Do you think we can get that?
I hear they're being romanced
very heavily by Ogilvy.
Well, let's just say once
they see the presentation,
they'll be getting
into bed with us,
so better wash those sheets.
You're killing me with all that
high-tech stuff that you love.
I mean, it's just so
damned expensive.
Well, it's not too bad.
Not too bad at all.
You'll be pleasantly surprised,
once you take a look at the
budget that, uh, we've prepared.
Hmm.
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
Do you think you
can do this for 35,000?
Oh, can we do it for 35,000?
Can we do it? Oh, hoo! Ha.
Mr. Moyer, I assume that you
have looked over these figures?
Uh, yes, sir.
Well, can we shoot
it all for 35,000?
Well, sir, I think if we, um...
You know, if we stick
very closely to the, uh...
No, sir, we cannot
get it for 35,000.
Oh, so Ned's budget is wrong?
Well, it may be a
wee-bit optimistic.
Okay, I think Moyer
needs a time out.
So in his eagerness to
get a big new account,
Ned here has, uh,
massaged the numbers a bit?
Actually, sir, he wined
'em and dined 'em
and bent 'em over
the hood of his car.
Just came up with it. Ha-ha.
Look, Pat, maybe the
figures are a wee-bit optimistic,
but, listen, I think that once
we capture the account...
If we capture the account.
We're gonna get it.
You're just gonna have
to trust me on this one.
I do, Ned. I trust you
for $35,000 worth.
Now, if you can bring
the budget in within that,
and Moyer here signs off
on it, I will go along with it.
Is that fair?
Yes, that's fair. That's fair.
You really gotta watch this guy.
Mr. Roberts. Hello.
Have a seat, Ms. Dorsey.
Thank you.
Mr. Roberts, before we begin,
I think I need to be very clear
with you about something.
Please. Do.
I may only be writing this
profile for an airline magazine,
but I still intend to ask
you some very probing,
tough questions, because
frankly, I find must of what
you preach simplistic
and manipulative.
You say "only an
airline magazine."
You took this job
of your own free will,
and yet you mock and deride it.
It sounds as if you're living
down to your own expectations.
Oh, that's just...
What do you mean?
Ned should be out in
just a minute, but, Eric,
you're the guest of honor,
so start on your soup.
You didn't tell me
she was cooking.
Like if I knew, I
would have come?
I heard that.
No, it's just that I thought you
were gonna order something in.
I now realize the only
reason I can't cook
is because I
believe I can't cook.
And you know what
makes me believe that?
The arrival of paramedics?
No.
The fact that I have been living
down to my own expectations.
Stacey, how did your
interview with Kyle Roberts go?
You can joke, but it actually
went surprisingly well.
Oh, beef's ready.
Well, I see our dinner
guests have arrived.
The Moyers.
Amanda.
Judas.
Okay, here's our main course.
And, ironically, this
is our last supper.
Okay, Mr. Executive, Beef
bourguignon. Your favorite.
Mmm, well, it was. Ha-ha.
Mmm.
Unlike Eric, I
find it delicious.
The tough and stringy
meat perfectly complimented
by the brown bile-like sauce.
Um, Eric, would you
pass me the lima beans?
If that doesn't violate
some accounting principle.
Look, Ned, if you're mad at
me why don't you just say so,
and stop acting like a baby?
Oh, I'm acting
like a baby, am I?
Can a baby eat this and live?
Why is he mad at you?
Oh, because at the staff
meeting today I had to shoot down
Ned's brilliant Orion proposal.
Oh, you had to.
You were lovin' it, pal.
I was just doing my job.
Well, you wouldn't even
have that job if it weren't for me.
Ned.
What are you talking about?
Nothing.
Just have some
potatoes Kevorkian.
D-did you...? Did
you talk to Kirkland?
Is that how I got
this promotion?
Yeah.
Did I ask you to?
No.
She did!
You went behind my back?
No.
You know, anger is just
"danger" without the D.
Okay, maybe I did,
but only to help you get a
promotion you deserved.
If I deserved it, I would've
got it on my own, wouldn't I?
No. Because you're
too decent and honest...
Don't lay that on
me. No, it's true.
That's why you need help
from someone like him.
Well, the only kind of help he
was getting was helping himself,
get his buddy promoted so I'd
sign off on his wacky projects.
Oh, I told you I
didn't wanna do this.
Well, I wouldn't have asked
if I knew you were
gonna try to exploit him.
That's... what... I...
do!
You don't expect a shark
not to eat a child
floating on a raft.
I told you I didn't
want to get involved.
Well, I wish you
hadn't got involved.
Hey, hey, hey.
Now let's all
remember the three Cs.
Calmness, candor
and compassion...
Shut up! Keep it Blow
it out... to yourself.
Well, you guys are
ruining my dinner!
It's late for that. I got a
resignation letter to write.
Don't be so childish, Eric.
You deserve this job
and you're keeping it.
Yes, I'm sure there'll be
plenty more opportunities
for you to screw
over your best friend.
What is it you
want from me, Ned?
You want me to approve your
ridiculously fraudulent budget
so you do your
stupid morphing thing?
Yes. Okay. Fine.
Since all I am is your
lackey, I'll approve it.
Thank you. You're welcome.
So are we still friends?
Absolutely. Good.
Good. Good. Good. Good.
Good. Good. Good. Good.
Good!
It was a real nice
dinner, Stace.
Oh, you liked it? Yeah.
Thanks. Mmm.
A basketball game
is in progress.
Orions.
Don't quit while you're ahead.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Oh.
Goodbye.
Thank God we only spent 35,000.
Rico? Hey.
Hey. Hey. Whoa. Ha-ha.
I just got you a
little something to...
To perk up the old cubicle.
Well, thank. Thanks, Ned.
Oh, you already
got one. Ha-ha-ha.
Yeah. Ah.
So all moved back in?
Yeah, yeah.
You know, uh, about approving
the budget on my presentation,
it's clearly never a good idea
to make a decision in anger.
Well, if you add the D to
"anger" you get "danger."
You know?
Actually, you get "dan-ger."
Listen, uh, I don't know what
to say, except, uh, I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, you
know, it's not your fault.
I'm the one who
approved the budget.
You're just the one
who grossly exceeded it
to make the fiasco
that got me demoted.
Well, I didn't want
to be the one to say it.
Yeah.
Listen, uh, if it makes
you feel any better,
I got a pants-down
spanking from Kirkland.
Then I had to give him one. Ohh.
So, um...
are you mad at me?
Not only do I gotta forgive you,
but you gotta
feel good about it?
Well... yeah.
Come on. I'll buy you lunch.
Sure. You know, you can't
charge lunches to the firm anymore.
Well, you'll work
something out for me...
Ned, I can't do that.
Hey, come on, come on.
Remember the three
Cs of advertising.
Cheating, conniving and Crisco.
Crisco?
Allow me to
explain the last one.
Orions.
Don't quit while you're ahead.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Oh.
Goodbye.
Now, I liked it!
Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
here with you accounting people?
With your loud bossa nova music,
and the rattling
pocket protectors.
We can't hear
ourselves think upstairs.
He's just kidding, guys.
Yeah, I'm just kidding
around with you.
No, I'm not!
Oh, I'm just kidding
with you again.
Not!
Am. Not!
Am. Not! Ned, Ned, Ned.
Don't get these
guys overexcited.
They can't think.
Here, try some...
Try some punch.
It's spiked with
Harveys Bristol Cream.
I am feelin' no pain.
What's with all the festivities?
The accounting department's
throwing a small bash
for our leader, Jack
Drummond. It's his last day.
Ahh, is old Jack leaving?
Well, I should say
goodbye. Where is he?
Oh, he called in sick.
So you need something?
Yeah, actually, I need
some blank budget forms.
Word on the street's
you're the man.
Oh, yeah.
I got them right over here.
It's a little busy, but, uh...
Ah, it works for me.
Oh, yeah, Jack gave it to me
when he cleared out his office.
I didn't wanna hurt his
feelings. This is them.
Why do you need them?
Oh, I'm putting together
that presentation
for the Orion Sneaker account.
Oh, Orion. That's a biggie.
Yeah, you ought to see the
computer stuff I came up with.
It's... gnarly.
Hey, are you guys
coming over for bridge?
Yeah, 8:00.
Roger that. See you then.
Arf! Arf! Meow. Meow. Arf!
- Why Stacey?
- Why Ned?
It was business.
Strictly business.
Here's the deal.
To get the promotion,
I needed the wife.
See, to get a life, I
needed his apartment.
So, what the hell, we
up and got married.
The only thing we
have in common?
We irritate each other. Right.
Enjoy the show.
Ah, full of spades, huh?
Maybe. Maybe not.
Okay, here we go.
Are you trying to
look at my cards?
For your information,
Miss Suspicious,
I was trying to look
down your shirt.
And let me say there are no
ripe melons on the fruit cart.
For God sakes,
honey, leave him alone.
So how's your job goin', Stace?
Oh, God, I think writing
for an airline magazine
is gonna drive me insane.
Everything has to be so fluffy.
I just wish they'd let me write
something more provocative.
How about:
"Oh, My God, We're Gonna Crash!"
by Stacey Colbert?
Anyway, now they want me to
write a profile on Kyle Roberts.
You know that New Age guru.
Oh, yeah.
Isn't he that good-looking,
but really creepy guy
in expensive suits?
Oh, no, that's Ned.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Ooh. Hey, come on.
You know, guys like Roberts
just make a fortune exploiting
desperate, unhappy people
with their stupid
New Age bromides.
God, I could tear him apart,
but no, they want a
happy little, puffy little story.
God.
How's your work, Eric?
Well, good, fine, uneventful.
Oh, uneventful?
Today at work they had
some wild disco party
down in Accounting.
Whenever I left,
your husband was dirty
dancing with the janitor, Anton.
What did you have a party for?
Oh, ah, Jack Drummond.
It was his last day.
You didn't tell me
your boss was leaving.
I believe I just did.
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Ooh.
Would you stop it?
So then his job is open, right?
Amanda, come on.
They're gonna give it to who
they're gonna give it to, okay?
No, Eric, they're gonna give
it to whomever goes after it.
Amanda, I've been
there for seven years.
I do good work. I make
my presence known.
Eric, you are the best damn
person in that department...
Amanda, can we
not talk about this?
Can we just finish
this game? But, I...
Fine.
Stacey?
Promise me you and I
will never go to bed angry.
Ned?
Do you have a minute?
How many times must I tell you.
No means no.
Stop it.
I thought you guys left.
Yeah. I told Eric
I forgot my scarf
'cause I wanted to ask
you about something.
Okay. Okay.
When the daddy gets
on top of the mommy...
Ned.
What can I do for you?
Well, it's this thing with
Eric and, uh, the job opening.
I was wondering if you
could talk to Kirkland,
or Haywood.
Uh, whichever one isn't dead,
and, uh, make sure that...
That he understands that...
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Eric is the most qualified
for the job. Whoa. No.
Come on. You know that.
I'm not getting
involved. Come on.
Look, you sat in that room
and you heard what Eric said.
If he gets it, he gets it.
Oh, stop it. You know
he wants that job.
Look, it's just not the sort
of thing that I do, all right?
You mean help people?
Exactly.
Ned. You are the kind of person
that can maneuver and manipulate
his way through life,
and Eric's not like that.
Eric's the kind of person that
looks at the world and says,
"Huh?"
And besides, for some
reason I have yet to fathom
he thinks you're
his best friend.
I'll see ya.
Rrrrgh!
Oh, wow!
Someone's a real
mucky-muck now, huh?
Hey, hey.
Ned, this is so silly.
Oh, come on.
Huh? Behold your kingdom.
With plush carpet and
pinely paneled wall.
All right, now put me
down. Put me down. Okay.
Nice view.
Now, Rico, get right on over
here and don't be frightened.
This is what we call a "window."
Honey, I work in Manhattan.
I'm so proud of you.
Hey, see, now
what did I tell you?
You go along,
you're doing your job,
quietly and... I
might add brilliantly,
and the big guys
upstairs are gonna notice.
You are brilliant,
and you deserve this.
Uh, Stacey, could you pl...? Oh.
Why don't you guys come
over Friday, and we'll celebrate?
That sounds great.
Oh, yeah. Let's do
something special.
Do you guys swing?
Oh, it's so tempting.
Oh, gosh, I'm late
for that stupid Kyle
Roberts self-help seminar.
Wanna come?
I'd rather swing with Ned.
Come on, I'll share
a cab with you.
Bye, honey.
I'll be home around 7.
Bye, Ned.
Okay, now that the
women folk are gone, huh?
Let's sit down, talk
a little business.
All right.
Yeah.
Ah, okay, um...
I'll just, ahem... Well, ahem.
What's up?
Did you get a chance to look
over my Orion budget proposal?
Yeah, actually, I
did, Ned, and, uh...
Good, good. Just wanna
make sure you and I
are on the same page
for tomorrow's meeting.
You know, so do I, Ned, and...
Oh, you know what?
I just remembered.
This is your first big
powwow, huh? Yeah.
I would suggest that
you wear the red culottes.
Ned, Ned, Ned, can we talk
about the budget, please?
What's to talk about?
You came, you saw, you approved.
It's just that some of the
numbers are a tad out of whack.
What do you mean?
Well, you... You said
you could bring this in
for under 35,000, but
with all the special effects
and the morphing and all, it's
gonna cost at least twice that.
All right, now look.
Listen. Just between
you and me...
maybe I massaged the
numbers just a little bit, huh?
Oh, hell, massaged.
I wined 'em, dined 'em,
bent 'em over the
hood of my car.
That's funny, Ned,
but the thing is,
I don't know that I can
sign off on this thing.
Rico. Listen.
The Orion account is worth
$7 million to this company.
When we get it, and we will,
no one cares the presentation
went a few thousand over budget.
Yeah, but I just got this job.
Yeah, and you got
the job because...
you are not some "by the
book" number-cruncher. Huh?
You are not just some little man
who worships only
the bottom line.
No. No, no.
You're a man of
guts... and vision.
Right?
I think so.
Okay.
Now, listen, I want
you to sit back,
enjoy your gorgeous,
beautiful office,
which not only have you
earned, but you so richly deserve.
Yeah.
Wow. Ha-ha.
Hi. Good morning.
It's nice, uh, morning.
So are those...? Are
those for anybody?
We could... just...?
Hey, good morning, everybody.
Charlie, how you doing?
Lois, good to see you.
Ernie, listen, the clinic called.
They said, let it scab over,
then put the ointment on.
Hey, buddy, you're looking
sharp this morning. See, I...
I told you wearing men's
clothing would work out best.
Ned, I really think we should
talk about the budget, it's...
Morning, people. Get me a
glass of ice water, will you, Skip?
Morning, Pat. Ned.
Ahhh, our newest
department head.
Welcome to the
47th floor, Mr. Moyer.
I like to think I'm the same
guy I was on the four...
Fourth floor, but thanks.
Ahh, Pat should be thanking you.
After all, he needs
all the help he can get
to cover his lazy rear end.
Oh, Ned.
And it looks like there's
a lot there to cover!
What?
Uhh. I just...
I'm feeling a little dizzy. Not
used to being up this high.
Uh, let's get this meeting
on the road, shall we?
I've got a noon lunch, so
let's try to keep it moving.
Where's my water?
Oh, it's, ah, right...
Right here, sir.
It's fine. It's... It's...
Ahem, that's...
What's first thing
on our agenda?
That would be the
Orion account, Pat.
Do you think we can get that?
I hear they're being romanced
very heavily by Ogilvy.
Well, let's just say once
they see the presentation,
they'll be getting
into bed with us,
so better wash those sheets.
You're killing me with all that
high-tech stuff that you love.
I mean, it's just so
damned expensive.
Well, it's not too bad.
Not too bad at all.
You'll be pleasantly surprised,
once you take a look at the
budget that, uh, we've prepared.
Hmm.
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
Do you think you
can do this for 35,000?
Oh, can we do it for 35,000?
Can we do it? Oh, hoo! Ha.
Mr. Moyer, I assume that you
have looked over these figures?
Uh, yes, sir.
Well, can we shoot
it all for 35,000?
Well, sir, I think if we, um...
You know, if we stick
very closely to the, uh...
No, sir, we cannot
get it for 35,000.
Oh, so Ned's budget is wrong?
Well, it may be a
wee-bit optimistic.
Okay, I think Moyer
needs a time out.
So in his eagerness to
get a big new account,
Ned here has, uh,
massaged the numbers a bit?
Actually, sir, he wined
'em and dined 'em
and bent 'em over
the hood of his car.
Just came up with it. Ha-ha.
Look, Pat, maybe the
figures are a wee-bit optimistic,
but, listen, I think that once
we capture the account...
If we capture the account.
We're gonna get it.
You're just gonna have
to trust me on this one.
I do, Ned. I trust you
for $35,000 worth.
Now, if you can bring
the budget in within that,
and Moyer here signs off
on it, I will go along with it.
Is that fair?
Yes, that's fair. That's fair.
You really gotta watch this guy.
Mr. Roberts. Hello.
Have a seat, Ms. Dorsey.
Thank you.
Mr. Roberts, before we begin,
I think I need to be very clear
with you about something.
Please. Do.
I may only be writing this
profile for an airline magazine,
but I still intend to ask
you some very probing,
tough questions, because
frankly, I find must of what
you preach simplistic
and manipulative.
You say "only an
airline magazine."
You took this job
of your own free will,
and yet you mock and deride it.
It sounds as if you're living
down to your own expectations.
Oh, that's just...
What do you mean?
Ned should be out in
just a minute, but, Eric,
you're the guest of honor,
so start on your soup.
You didn't tell me
she was cooking.
Like if I knew, I
would have come?
I heard that.
No, it's just that I thought you
were gonna order something in.
I now realize the only
reason I can't cook
is because I
believe I can't cook.
And you know what
makes me believe that?
The arrival of paramedics?
No.
The fact that I have been living
down to my own expectations.
Stacey, how did your
interview with Kyle Roberts go?
You can joke, but it actually
went surprisingly well.
Oh, beef's ready.
Well, I see our dinner
guests have arrived.
The Moyers.
Amanda.
Judas.
Okay, here's our main course.
And, ironically, this
is our last supper.
Okay, Mr. Executive, Beef
bourguignon. Your favorite.
Mmm, well, it was. Ha-ha.
Mmm.
Unlike Eric, I
find it delicious.
The tough and stringy
meat perfectly complimented
by the brown bile-like sauce.
Um, Eric, would you
pass me the lima beans?
If that doesn't violate
some accounting principle.
Look, Ned, if you're mad at
me why don't you just say so,
and stop acting like a baby?
Oh, I'm acting
like a baby, am I?
Can a baby eat this and live?
Why is he mad at you?
Oh, because at the staff
meeting today I had to shoot down
Ned's brilliant Orion proposal.
Oh, you had to.
You were lovin' it, pal.
I was just doing my job.
Well, you wouldn't even
have that job if it weren't for me.
Ned.
What are you talking about?
Nothing.
Just have some
potatoes Kevorkian.
D-did you...? Did
you talk to Kirkland?
Is that how I got
this promotion?
Yeah.
Did I ask you to?
No.
She did!
You went behind my back?
No.
You know, anger is just
"danger" without the D.
Okay, maybe I did,
but only to help you get a
promotion you deserved.
If I deserved it, I would've
got it on my own, wouldn't I?
No. Because you're
too decent and honest...
Don't lay that on
me. No, it's true.
That's why you need help
from someone like him.
Well, the only kind of help he
was getting was helping himself,
get his buddy promoted so I'd
sign off on his wacky projects.
Oh, I told you I
didn't wanna do this.
Well, I wouldn't have asked
if I knew you were
gonna try to exploit him.
That's... what... I...
do!
You don't expect a shark
not to eat a child
floating on a raft.
I told you I didn't
want to get involved.
Well, I wish you
hadn't got involved.
Hey, hey, hey.
Now let's all
remember the three Cs.
Calmness, candor
and compassion...
Shut up! Keep it Blow
it out... to yourself.
Well, you guys are
ruining my dinner!
It's late for that. I got a
resignation letter to write.
Don't be so childish, Eric.
You deserve this job
and you're keeping it.
Yes, I'm sure there'll be
plenty more opportunities
for you to screw
over your best friend.
What is it you
want from me, Ned?
You want me to approve your
ridiculously fraudulent budget
so you do your
stupid morphing thing?
Yes. Okay. Fine.
Since all I am is your
lackey, I'll approve it.
Thank you. You're welcome.
So are we still friends?
Absolutely. Good.
Good. Good. Good. Good.
Good. Good. Good. Good.
Good!
It was a real nice
dinner, Stace.
Oh, you liked it? Yeah.
Thanks. Mmm.
A basketball game
is in progress.
Orions.
Don't quit while you're ahead.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Oh.
Goodbye.
Thank God we only spent 35,000.
Rico? Hey.
Hey. Hey. Whoa. Ha-ha.
I just got you a
little something to...
To perk up the old cubicle.
Well, thank. Thanks, Ned.
Oh, you already
got one. Ha-ha-ha.
Yeah. Ah.
So all moved back in?
Yeah, yeah.
You know, uh, about approving
the budget on my presentation,
it's clearly never a good idea
to make a decision in anger.
Well, if you add the D to
"anger" you get "danger."
You know?
Actually, you get "dan-ger."
Listen, uh, I don't know what
to say, except, uh, I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, you
know, it's not your fault.
I'm the one who
approved the budget.
You're just the one
who grossly exceeded it
to make the fiasco
that got me demoted.
Well, I didn't want
to be the one to say it.
Yeah.
Listen, uh, if it makes
you feel any better,
I got a pants-down
spanking from Kirkland.
Then I had to give him one. Ohh.
So, um...
are you mad at me?
Not only do I gotta forgive you,
but you gotta
feel good about it?
Well... yeah.
Come on. I'll buy you lunch.
Sure. You know, you can't
charge lunches to the firm anymore.
Well, you'll work
something out for me...
Ned, I can't do that.
Hey, come on, come on.
Remember the three
Cs of advertising.
Cheating, conniving and Crisco.
Crisco?
Allow me to
explain the last one.
Orions.
Don't quit while you're ahead.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Oh.
Goodbye.
Now, I liked it!
Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.