Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988–1999): Season 9, Episode 17 - The Horror of Party Beach - full transcript

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ In the not-too
distant future

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ Somewhere in time and space

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Mike Nelson and
his robot pals

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Are caught in
an endless chase

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Pursued by a woman
whose name is Pearl

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ An evil gal who wants
to rule the world

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ She threw a few
things in her purse

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ And in her rocketship,
she hunts him

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ All across the universe

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'll get you!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ I'll send him cheesy movies

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ The worst I can
find, la, la, la

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ He'll have to sit
and watch them all

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ And I'll monitor
his mind, la, la, la

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Now, keep in mind,
Mike can't control

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Where the movies begin
or end, la, la, la

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ He'll try to keep his sanity

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ With the help of
his robot friends

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Robot roll call.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Cambot.
- You're on.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Gypsy.
- Oh, my stars!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Tom Servo.
- Check me out!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Croooow!
- I'm different.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ If you're wondering how
he eats and breathes

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ And other science
facts, la, la, la

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Just repeat to yourself,
It's just a show

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ I should really just relax

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ For Mystery Science
Theater 3000

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(clanging vibrations)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Hi, everyone, Mike Nelson here

{\a1\pos(12,460)}from the Satellite of Love.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}As is often the case, we've
been sucked through a wormhole

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and now we're sort of
drifting through time and,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I don't know, it's a bunch of...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom Servo chanting)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, do you have to
do that right now?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Okay, well, then, two things.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Could you tell me
what you're doing?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}And why you're dressed like the
guy in the Primo Beer label?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}If you must know, Mike, I'm
practicing the traditional

{\a1\pos(138,460)}tantric chant of the
Gyuto monks of Tibet.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}With proper intonation, I
can harmonize my overtones

{\a1\pos(138,460)}with the fundamental,
creating a chorus

{\a1\pos(201,460)}of transcendent
music of pure bliss.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Five bucks says you can't.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You're on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(Tom Servo inhales)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}While Servo fails
here, I'll just tell you

{\a1\pos(12,460)}that we seem to be hovering
over Ancient Rome, or something,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and now, we're...

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(echoing chants)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, well, listen to that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I think you're on to
something there.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chanting)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, pretty doggone
transcendent, eh, Mike?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, namaste, buddy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'm gonna grab me a Sport Shake.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We'll be right back.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(upbeat pop music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chanting music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom Servo chanting)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom Servo chuckles)

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Shanti.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Look, a huge distracting thing!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(Tom Servo hoots)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}What's up with
you, Mother of Pearl?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, hi, Mike.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Let me bring you up to speed.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Brain Guy, can you
roll that clip?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, certainly, I have
it queued up with my mind.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(electronic whirring)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(film reel rolling)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(electronic beep)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Welcome to Roman times.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Guards, seize them.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(dramatic tense music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, there you have it,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and that was just
a few seconds ago.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I said seize them!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I, um, bid the guards
leave for the day.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What? Why?

{\a1\pos(36,460)}I didn't think we'd need
them, with the festival and all.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, then, seize
them yourself!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Right!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Whoa, whoa, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- We're gods.
- Yes, gods.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Gods?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yes, I am Apearlo.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Apearlo, right.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And he is Brainguyus.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Brainguyus, right,
how unimaginative.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Gods, among us.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They are not gods.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Where is your proof?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You wanna handle
this, Bleachy?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Not a problem,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hold the old bean.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Behold, from nothing,
I produce this.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(all gasp)

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Spoon.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(whispering)
No, something bigger.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Behold, from nothing,
I produce this.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(all gasp)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Bigger spoon.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, something big,
something impressive!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Like what?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I don't know, like a
freezer, or something.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}They wouldn't know what it is.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}How 'bout a JVC turntable,
an elephant, or...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Mike, what can we conjure
for these Egyptian guys?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(chattering)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay, what about a pony?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Uh, I think a gas
grill would do it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Or a pony, pony,
we're gonna say pony.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- A pony.
- Pony.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}A pony.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I could make a nice
Shetland, I think.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}To whom do you speak?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, that's just Mike
and his idiot robots.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Gods. His idiot gods.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You communicate with
the gods in the stars?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, yeah, you don't?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I mean, of course.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I know of this
average-looking man-god,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}but what of the
golden spider duck

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and the squat crimson pig?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(Pearl and Brain Guy chuckle)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Golden spider duck?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, lady, try a proud
prancing reindeer,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}or rotting stag or something.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Geez.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Aww, Mike.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}She called you a crimson pig.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom Servo chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, wait a minute!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}She thinks I'm
average looking.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Geez, oh boy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Truly they are gods.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And we must prepare a
feast for these gods.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Our finest grappa.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, don't skimp.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'll have a red Sena
in a collins glass.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Your movie today Mike is
a little toxic spill called

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Horror of Party Beach".

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hey!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You guys got any "anti-paste-o"
around here or something?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Pearlo's gonna
starve to death here.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Gods! Sweet!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Golden spider duck.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}How 'bout lean and
virile bull, or slender

{\a1\pos(96,460)}love machine, lady.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let's go. Come on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We got movie sign.
Let's go.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Crow yells)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(electronic vibrations
and crashes)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, wow, the typewriter
was drunk when it

{\a1\pos(201,460)}did that, huh?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}He, he, horror!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, the horror at party
beach is Cindy's cheese dip.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(car engine)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, another
Afrikaner beach movie.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You can't beat 'em.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Nope.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ooo, must have edited the
crap out of this thing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Nude driving, a new
fad among the teens.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Whoop, turned gray.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(upbeat beach music)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Sturgis, a city on the move.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Knock it off Gena.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, and now it's white again.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yeah!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Will he shift?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Will the wheel move?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(upbeat beach music)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Is that Jacques Brel coming up
behind him on the bike?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Uh, we're just running
to the Tom Thumb, honey.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Do we really need
the honor guard?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(upbeat beach music)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}This man does
not wear a watch.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, I'm nude.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Original soundtrack
not available.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You'll thank us.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Crow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}So, what is additional
dialogue, anyway?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, things like,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Hey you, get off that."

{\a1\pos(306,460)}And,
"Why not?"

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Dialoque.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ah, those are dog miles.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's not that fast.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}They landscaped the median
strip pretty nice now.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Horror at public beach.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Crappy movie parking here.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Heh, heh, heh, I love
chugging Cointreau on the beach.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Hon, lay off the booze today.
You've had enough.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Today, Tina and
alcohol are gonna have

{\a1\pos(180,460)}a great cocktail.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}My plastic hair is furious.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ahhh!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You can booze it all you want,
but you better lay off me.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}And you better
stand on your feet.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Because if you fall on your
face, I'm not gonna pick you up.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You understand?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}When did you ever
have to carry me home?

{\a1\pos(120,460)}I've always been able
to stand on my own two feet.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I never needed you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And I never will.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- They wrote their own vows.
- Aww!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Say, what happened to the
campus big shot who'd

{\a1\pos(117,460)}do anything for kicks?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Campus big shot's grown up.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Times have changed, Tina.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We're not a bunch
of kids anymore.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(Mike mumbles and
vibrates his voice)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You can do all the
partying you want.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You just better
stay out of my way.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Stop preaching.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I know about your plans.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Your experiments
in that laboratory.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well let me tell you something.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I have a few experiments
of my own I'm just itching

{\a1\pos(285,460)}to try.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And they don't have one
thing to do with test tubes

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and bunsen burners.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Okay, Tina, if
that's what you want.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Eww, did you jiff?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, Hank, what's
happening to us?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}My little Hardware Hank.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}When are you gonna get it
though your head that life isn't

{\a1\pos(117,460)}just all fun and games?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Okay, okay. No more lectures.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We're not even talking
the same language anymore.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I speak Esperanto these days.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Alright, if that's the
way you want it, then you

{\a1\pos(138,460)}just go on your way.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And I'll go mine.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We'll see who gets
the most out of life.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, brother, you ain't
seen living 'til you seen

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Tina swing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, I'm gonna live too.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Fear of intimacy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Exciting and new.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Sail away.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We're coming to the spot now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}When we get up out
there, give me a yell.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Spandau Ballet goes
on a fishing trip.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Okay, now.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Okay, boss.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, it's an Exxon
training film.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Shouldn't we dump this in
a poor black neighborhood

{\a1\pos(96,460)}or an Indian reservation?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I hope that's
Paula Cole in there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Wow, that's really
booking to the bottom.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}D'oh, immediately!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm sure we don't
do this kind of thing

{\a1\pos(180,460)}these days, huh?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}200 million flushes.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, like this is gonna
hurt the precious ocean.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know, you know, come to
think of it,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}the ocean really sucks.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Ave Mariiiiaaaa.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Just another
day at Love Canal.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He died gargling.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Is there something
wedged right in the back of

{\a1\pos(264,460)}my tooth?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Can you see that?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Uhh, no.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}Great!
I'm dead, and I'm breaking out.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I told him not to pick at it.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hi!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}On behalf of fish everywhere,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I hope you're
enjoying the picture.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom Servo chuckles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's turning into
Oliver Reed's liver.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, great.
What am I now?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}A fried wonton?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Well!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Okay movie, we got it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We got it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Look, fish, there's
a whole ocean.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}If you could swim somewhere
else while I'm transmogrifying.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm sure most radiation's
harmful eventually,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}but ours does massive damage
in a matter of seconds.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oooo! I bet ya that would
be good with drawn butter.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Of course, I'd eat my own
head with drawn butter.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know, I've seen
so much horror at

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Party Beach, I'm just
inured to it at this point.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Monster immediately
gets up and puts on

{\a1\pos(96,460)}his metal machine music.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Eek!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Eh, it's a John Hurt mask.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}The incredible,
horrible Mr. Limpet.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, all this talk about
swimming with the sharks.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well, I do it every day, pal!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And your radiation-based
makeover is complete.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}And we're looking at what now?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh-ho, is there anyone
who likes pickles as much

{\a1\pos(264,460)}as I do?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Crow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Thing sleeps with the fishes.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(screeching)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Original soundtrack
by Nigel Tufnel.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Crow groans)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}To eleven.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And the mouse was
immediately pinned down

{\a1\pos(264,460)}by a log.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You fish go on ahead.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You mustn't risk
your life for me.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, I know how it is though.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}First thing in the morning,
I like to move a big log too.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(pulsing bubbles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Alright men, raise
the mainsail--

{\a1\pos(33,460)}My god, what's happened to me?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The monster stars in the
one-man version of

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Pirates of Penzance".

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ I am the very model of
a modern Major-General

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ I've information animal

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Wow!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Men should not
have bikini areas.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}No, no, no, no!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Taubs Holand's in
the middle there.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, that reminds me. Did
I bring my hot dog buns?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That's a female
buttocks, Gary.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I don't see the connection.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}And children,
grandmas, everyone loves

{\a1\pos(138,460)}to watch Suzy's butt.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It's the Suzy's butt festival.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(upbeat beach music)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ow, ow, dancing hurts.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Ow, eek!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, in the back
there, Drew Carey.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(upbeat beach music)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Save your money, guys.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}The band bites.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Alright, men, park a
respectful distance away.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}Impressive row of
Porto Pottys in the back there.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Make a left, make a right

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The Velvet Underground
hadn't really found

{\a1\pos(201,460)}its heads yet.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}How's it goin', car?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, into the U-Store-It, men.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Hey, why is that girl topless?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}No, that's a g--
well, maybe...

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Is it?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(upbeat beach music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Jean-Paul Sartre's
motorcycle gang.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}I believe in the
existential outlaw as hero.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That is why I travel
with these men.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}White people attempting rhythm.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}And it made sense to surrender.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The Germans were
very, very mean.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ah, go to Vietnam.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Johnny Mathis and
the Conan O'Briens.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ 80, 90, gosh oh mighty

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, don't bogey that
Metrecal, man.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(upbeat pop music)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ I'm gonna get some wheels

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ See how it feels to fly

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Hi, director.
Hi, best boy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I think she likes us.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Hang on tight, baby

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ It's alright, baby

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Here we go, go,
go, go, go, go

{\a1\pos(201,460)}She could use a
few inhibitions.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It would do her good.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ooo, she's blinding him
with the glare from

{\a1\pos(222,460)}her midriff.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Arr, it's the belly
of the Great White Girl!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Go baby, go baby, go!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It's a gang led
by Deepak Chopra.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Funny little siren

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ deh, deh, deh, deh, deh, deh

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, zipper butt.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Easy access.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}freshness-dated.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ No more clover

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ You lip sync real bad.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's true. We suck.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}There are girls here,
and that's upsetting us.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(upbeat music)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Bye, bye, bye

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, goodbye friendly thin man.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Bye!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Bye, bye, bye

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(upbeat beach music)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I think she's
overcoming her shyness.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Mmmm, Dondi is
quite the stud.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yeah, right.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Man, those hot Polish
immigrant girls.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(Crow rolls his tongue)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Johnny, I never let anyone
kiss me like this before.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}My name's not Johnny.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What is it?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Irving.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Irving?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Heh, what's in a name?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Annie Brice and Scott
Hamilton make out.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Joy is crap.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}Oh no, it's the silky
children. They're attacking!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Man takes his first
tentative steps out of

{\a1\pos(180,460)}the water.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(water splashes)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, guys, look up there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It's The Rock.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(groaning)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Wow, a creature who's
face is 80% eye bag.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}So, radiation has
a sense of humor?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ahh, don't hit.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Elaine.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Kinda shook me up there.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You always go around
sneaking up on people?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yep. Love it.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Well, I saw you just
staring out at the ocean, so I

{\a1\pos(180,460)}thought I'd come
down and talk to you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Hey, everybody, yeah

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Ha, ha, he is doing
something we did not rehearse,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and it is funny.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Ha, ha!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come on Aunt Agnes.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You had enough. Let's go home.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Yeah, everybody's doing
it, doing it, doing it

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Pickin' their
nose and chewing it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Chewing it, chewing it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He thinks quite a
bit of you, you know.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He thinks you have
a great future.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}As a white man.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Working with Dr. Gavin has
been just about the greatest

{\a1\pos(180,460)}thing that's ever
happened to me, Elaine.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm happy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}But I still have
this problem with...

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Bed wetting.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's always on my mind.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, I'm sure Tina will
come around to your way

{\a1\pos(222,460)}of thinking.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}She's bound to realize
what she has in you, Hank.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Umm, Hank.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Or, maybe she won't
realize, heh-heh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, we'll see.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Jerk! Wow!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I think there's a tiny
string of sinew on you

{\a1\pos(138,460)}we haven't seen yet.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Shake it, shake it,
shake it, shake it, baby

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Shake it down

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Music by the My Three Sons.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(upbeat beach music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Look at me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I am so Twyla Tharp.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Crow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(upbeat beach music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'm sure there's some
perfectly nice Tiger Sharks

{\a1\pos(117,460)}just offshore who'd be
willing to eat these people.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Ahh! Ohh!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ugh!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Ooo, she pulls a groin muscle.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Swing your partner do-si-do!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Now promenade!

{\a1\pos(57,460)}You know I think what
they're really trying to say is

{\a1\pos(96,460)}whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But you're missing
the underlying message,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}which is wiggle,
wiggle, wobble, wobble.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(upbeat beach music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Do the Bruce Springsteen.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Anyway.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Hey, what's going on up there?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's called fun.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I don't know. Let's go see.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(upbeat beach music)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}There ain't no
cutting in, Rerun.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Come on. Right here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}In front of everyone.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Come on. Let's do it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yeah, I'd rather
see Rose Marie

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and Morey Amsterdam
do The Lambada.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Little kids adore the
lovable town stripper.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I can't get this.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I can't. Stuck-uh!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I can't get this button off.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}James Franciscus
is not pleased.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What are you doing?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}What do you think I'm doing?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I am shaking what
my mother gave me,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}thank you very much.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}How can I star on Long
Street if I have a girlfriend

{\a1\pos(264,460)}like you?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(intense horn music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}She doesn't want
to go with you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Look, I don't think
that's any of your business.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Chances are that I'll
kick your scrawny ass

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Bernardo, no.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ugh, I just had
radial keratotomy today.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Daddy, give me
an airplane ride.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Whee, ow, oh, another!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom Servo chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let's follow the couples.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yes, let's go
where they're going.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(204,460)}You soiled my
cigarette pants, buster.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}So, basically,

{\a1\pos(57,460)}this crowd of people will
stand around to watch anything.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, I don't think this
is a good idea, guys.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Let's think about this.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, don't, don't, don't.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, d'ow, my neck is broken.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom Servo chuckles)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I don't know.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It just seems to me Lilian
Gish could take this gang.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(99,460)}Hang on,
let me toss a gay man at you.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}There you go.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Batch man.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Ow!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm Marisa Tomei,
and I'm concerned.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm Joan Kennedy,
and I am concerned.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(grunts)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}This is not in keeping with
the spirit of pride week.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Alright, back off,
or my gang will ram me

{\a1\pos(96,460)}into your stomach again.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Meanwhile, some sea
turtles are trying to get by

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to lay their eggs.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Fight direction
by William Shatner.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hee-haw, hee-haw

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I think this is ready to pop.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Let's, agh!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}William Bendix to the rescue.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(slow trumpet music)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You have defeated me, sir.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You and your noble
band of choreographers.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hank, I--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I want my pants back.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I think that we should...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}So, do you want me to
keep taking my shirt off,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}or is that moment
kind of, uh, over?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Come on, Mike.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Come on, Mike.
Let's cut out.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Ah, now what are we gonna do?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}What are we gonna watch now?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}We're not ready
to go home yet.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, I'm gonna
strip for someone!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Owie, owie, owie, owie, owie.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Chiggers.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ow, the sand's hot too.
Ow!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I can't get this beer open.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}She uses the Art
Garfunkel hair care system.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}She swims like Luis Tiant.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}She's actually
going backwards.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(upbeat beach music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Mark Harmon on drums.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Mice go!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(All chuckle)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Lower the camera.
Lower the camera!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I had a generally positive
impression of white people

{\a1\pos(96,460)}before this movie.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'm starting to agree
with the Taliban Militia.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Dancing should not be allowed.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Leopard skin pill box bra.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Bikini and a babushka.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}That's nice.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Miss, could you
clear the shot please?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Miss!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, right in my ear.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Six miles out, and I still
hear that awful music.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Cool, it's the Rosetta Stone.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Wow, Europe is
smaller than I thought.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}A sexy Romulan girl.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I can't touch you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You're a lady.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Doing the Going Mental dance.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(slamming impact vibrations)

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Whee!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Bum, ba, bum, ba, bum, bum.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom Servo chuckles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Say, Mike.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're ready for our
manly beach dance?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Manly beach dance time, Mike.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Crow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Uhh, yeah, well,
these trunks you made me

{\a1\pos(96,460)}seem kind of small.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, I'm sure they're fine.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}No, they seem really small.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hold on.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Let me show you.
I'll just come out here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Just get comfortable
with your body, and.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Whoa, whoa, well,
well, well, well, then.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What do you think?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}These are kinda small, right?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Mike, you're nude.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}All nude, yep.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}No, no, I got 'em on.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I just think they're
really small.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Especially when I dance.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, no, Mike,
Mike, no, no, no, no.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike
are you sure you put 'em on?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}No, they're on.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}They're just (mumbles).

{\a1\pos(12,460)}He's so nude. It's just...

{\a1\pos(222,460)}The tag's in
back and everything?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, that's probably it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hold on. Let me look.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Mike grunts)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yep, there it,
the tag's in back.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}But I don't know.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Maybe it's the dancing.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}No.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}No, no, no, no.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Why don't you
just go a size up?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We've got some right here.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, okay, let me try these on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Maybe that's the problem.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Wow.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Crow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, I think those
are gonna be better.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Those are gonna, but
anyone think the dancing?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Nah, nah, no.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Go a size up, Mike, please.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Yes, we'll all feel a
lot more comfortable, Mike.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Okay, well, I'll slip into
these, and I'll show you these.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Then, we'll be able
to keep down our lunch.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}My God, yes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Take it easy, Crow.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We'll be right back, everybody.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Part of me will never be back.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom Servo chuckles)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Part of me is gone forever, oh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(upbeat pop music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I don't see what
the problem is.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}They fit rather well.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ew, Lloyd Bridges
has not aged well.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(intense lurking music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(upbeat beach music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}This band writes some
really long songs.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Now everybody do
the Zombie Stomp

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Go Romulan babe.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(upbeat beach music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Can you guys make a loop
of this and show it for

{\a1\pos(201,460)}about 30 hours?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Is that a diaper?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Heh, heh, it's
fun to have fun.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I don't care what they say.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I feel good about myself.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ And all the flesh
slipped off my skull

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ladies and gentlemen,
Scott Scrawny

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and the Hard Gainers.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm wearing pull-ups, mommy.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}All hail to Ra, the sun god.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Mike, are we being
punished for something?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sniper.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, say what
you want about her.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}At least she's not
doing the Zombie Stomp.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, hi, grandma.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ma'am, I'd like to report
some illegal waste dumping.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Are you a federal
agency by any chance?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}That's it. I'm gonna make some
big changes this year.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}After all, I've got a long,
full life ahead of me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Heh, heh, it's fun to get a
tiny portion of my hair wet.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ I'm on a rock.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ I'm on an island.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Cookie.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(woman screams)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Get your hotdogs.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(woman screams)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Relax ma'am.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I am a licensed doctor
of chiropractic.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(woman screams)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Do you think a lot of
guys who make movies have

{\a1\pos(96,460)}issues with women?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Could be.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ I slept the whole
night through

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Swim suit by the
Mike Douglas show.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Do you believe that
kissing is unhealthy?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I don't know.
I've never been...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You've never been kissed?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, I've never been sick!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I just wanted to tell you
I was recently diagnosed

{\a1\pos(12,460)}as having, oh, never mind.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, I better get my laps in.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know, monsters
can dog paddle at

{\a1\pos(96,460)}a horrifying rate.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(water splashes)

{\a1\pos(57,460)}Offshore, the Normandy
Invasion Force waits patiently.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's amazing they can
get such rich sound without

{\a1\pos(33,460)}plugging in their instruments.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Uhh, isn't there a
union rule that says they

{\a1\pos(138,460)}have to take a break?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Nair side, foam side.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Nair side.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ What good is a man

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ What good is a man

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ If he's thin as a brooohhhoom.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I want my Peter
Allen albums back.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hiya, Charlie.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Do you like bathing beauties?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}No, ick!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I don't know.
I never bathed one!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(men laugh)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(woman screams)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It's Chris Farley in a thong!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(people yell)

{\a1\pos(141,460)}Look out,
Ted Kennedy's driving home!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Mmm, grandpa lost his
suit in the water again.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, someone went in the ocean.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I hope that's a Clark bar.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(woman gasps)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Boy, that siren got us through
some pretty rough traffic.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thanks for coming
out to help me.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}My pipe's stuck in my mouth.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hi, do you have
any spare pork?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}We're hungry.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Morning.
- Morning.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Nice morning.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}No, it isn't.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Looks like a clear day.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}No, it doesn't.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I was just looking at
that little cloud up there

{\a1\pos(201,460)}by the sun and
thinking it might rain.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I guess everybody interprets
the world according to

{\a1\pos(222,460)}his own mood.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, no weather is
good for a funeral.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}In my business, I
try to avoid them.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Too bad he's an undertaker.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Elaine, it's 9:30.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Mother Angelica is on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I guess she'd be abnormal
if she were on time.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}How's she taking it?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It's not easy for any of us.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}A lot of families have
been affected by this.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Helps her to know
she's not alone.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Here's the sample
that you asked for.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Could you have
put it in something?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm gonna run some carbon-14
tests on this tissue.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}There have been some recent
discoveries in the field

{\a1\pos(96,460)}of genetics that may give
us a clue to its structure.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Good luck, doc.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Thanks. Bye.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Heh, heh, this is going
straight up my nose.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, hit the siren.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Shakey's lunch buffet awaits.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}We had to get a
door from a junk yard.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(car siren)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, you're ready.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Why is the car
in the living room?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You do understand why I'm
not going, don't you, dear?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Of course, daddy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Everybody knows how hard
you've been working.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You gonna pick
up Hank on the way?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Why am I dubbed?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Daddy, I'm so
upset about Hank.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hardware Hank?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Here I am going to Tina's
funeral, and I have such

{\a1\pos(96,460)}feelings about him.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}What kind of feelings?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I don't know.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Lay off!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Is it because he's free now?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}They don't have
to work you over.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yes, I suppose so.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You go ahead, dear.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'll just smell
your forehead goodbye.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(car door slams)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That car has like
12 cigarette lighters.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It's a human thing, Dr. Gavin.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You wouldn't understand.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's a human evil thing
lurking and creeping and

{\a1\pos(96,460)}crawling around out
there in the night.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I know it. I feel it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Mother, please.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You musn't talk like that.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}A great deal of the ocean
is still a mystery to us.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}There are undoubtedly
forms of life that we know

{\a1\pos(201,460)}nothing about.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Like me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's that voodoo.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's what it is.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now that's
ridiculous, Eulabelle.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I want you to get this idea
of voodoo out of your head.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Try snake handling instead.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I have no doubt that we'll
find a perfectly reasonable

{\a1\pos(96,460)}explanation for the
girl's death.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Like giant squirrels.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Maybe you're right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But the police have been
looking, and they haven't

{\a1\pos(201,460)}found anything.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}They been running round
here like headless chickens.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}And you been
looking and reading.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And what have you found?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Nothing is solved
in a few hours.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}This will require
a lot of research.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And while you're researching,
there's something creeping

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and crawling and lurking
around out there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That's enough.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You're scaring me.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I understand.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'll have my things
packed by the morning.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's some voodoo,
that's what it is.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ha, you non-Caucasians.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You'd better go
to bed, Eulabelle.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But I just got up.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Did you lock up?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Locked, double locked,
and triple locked.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ain't no monsters gonna
get in here tonight.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ugh, why did I fire Hazel?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's some voodoo alright.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Alright, I'll strangle
a chicken if it'll

{\a1\pos(201,460)}make you happy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(upbeat pop music)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Let's see here:

{\a1\pos(33,460)}How to Kill That Spark of Life.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Chapter One - Joy: Who Needs It.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}No, maybe.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ah, here we are: Getting
Girls Through Hypnosis.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yes, yes, yes.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hi, daddy.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You betrayed me, Fredo.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I thought you were
going out tonight?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, I was, but it's just
another slumber party.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}They're all the same, so I'm
not really missing anything.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Did you let 'em know
you weren't coming?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}No.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Don't you think you should?

{\a1\pos(99,460)}Oh, Daddy, I just don't
see how you can even think of

{\a1\pos(96,460)}such a thing after
what happened to Tina.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Roast in Hell, Dad.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Tina's death has affected
a great many people.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}But it doesn't give you
or anyone else the right to

{\a1\pos(180,460)}be discourteous.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, ram it, bozo.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, alright.
I'll go telephone.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, let's start
mopping the ceiling.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Crow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That's not how
you make sun tea.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Okay.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm happy I was invited, heh!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(bell rings)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Battle stations.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Ahhhh!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Hit the deck.
Man the torpedoes.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hello.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It's for Libby.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Libby.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I think they just filmed
an actual slumber party.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yeah, bummer.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hi, Elaine. Where are you?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The actual summit of K2?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Why?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, Elaine, you're
gonna miss all the fun.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, Elaine, we've got secret
information that the boys

{\a1\pos(117,460)}from the Chi Psi House
are going to crash.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We've got a big bucket
rigged up over the door.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And I can't wait to see
Ricky Aldridge as he comes

{\a1\pos(138,460)}through the door and
gets it spilled on him.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, Elaine, please come.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It'll be so much fun.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Boy, Elaine, you don't
have to call me a bitch.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, okay. Alright.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I understand. Goodbye.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Goodbye, Libby.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I don't like slumber parties
now that I'm in my 40s.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm glad I called, Daddy.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It was the right thing to do.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Oh, hard is the fortune
of all womankind

{\a1\pos(201,460)}This better be
a strip folk song.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ They're always controlled

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Stop it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}They've only been together
a couple of hours, but

{\a1\pos(96,460)}they're all already
on the same cycle.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Never invite Janis Ian
to your slumber party.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ And slaves to their husbands

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Can I sit in?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I brought my baritone horn.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(intense vibration music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I forgot my nightie.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're a cute couple.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Suddenly I feel like
gossiping and eating

{\a1\pos(96,460)}popcorn all night.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}You?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(girls singing)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}So, they put "The
Second Sex" to music.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}There's no reason
to leave C, I find.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Do not use poison
ivy for toilet paper.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Believe me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We are trying to spawn.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(girls laughing)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The Ipswich Women's Club
presents Shirley Jackson's

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"The Lottery".

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I think we're
gonna get killed.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Neat.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}[One Of The Girls]
What are they doing?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I smell something awful.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It smells like dead fish.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}[One Of The Girls] Ew, I hope
they don't throw fish again.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Like they did last year.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}[One Of The Girls]
Shhh! Quiet girls!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Concentrate on sticking
your fannies out.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}[One Of The Girls]
Everybody keep quiet.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'll turn off the lights.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Oh, hi.
We're the lobsters you selected.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}True to her word.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She turns off the light.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Wow.
- Wow, man.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hi, Jehovah's Monsters.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Please take a Watchmonster.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Okay, boys. The door's open.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(girls giggle)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ah, ha, ha.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You gals got something
planned, don't you?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(girls giggle)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Carnival of Coeds.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(rumbling growl)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(door crashes open)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, monster on the floor.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Monster on the floor.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Don't even know what panties
are, yet they feel compelled

{\a1\pos(264,460)}to raid.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Every male of any species
has the biological urge

{\a1\pos(201,460)}to panty raid.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, great party, Janice.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}Thanks.
I really wanted to be dead.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(rumbling growls)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Ahh, I forgot my train case.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm heavy. Right?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Sorry, I pigged
out on Häagen-Dazs.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There's more chips
if anyone wants them.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Rumors of an invasion from
the sea took on a new dimension

{\a1\pos(33,460)}last night when over 20 teenage
girls were brutally attacked

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and murdered during
a slumber party.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ah, great, the kids
should love this.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}A survivor described these
monsters differently from

{\a1\pos(12,460)}those which terrorized the
beach only a few days ago.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}But Dr. Gavin,
special consultant

{\a1\pos(96,460)}for the police, suggested

{\a1\pos(33,460)}that these beings probably have
different forms in the same

{\a1\pos(138,460)}way that human beings
vary in size and shape.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And pants.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Meanwhile, specialists from
all over the United States

{\a1\pos(12,460)}converged on our city in an
attempt to piece together

{\a1\pos(222,460)}the scattered
reports of attacks.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Archibald Cox.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}In a massive effort to find
out the identity of these

{\a1\pos(33,460)}strange creatures from the sea.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Extra, extra.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Read all about it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}50's extended indefinitely.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Extra, extra.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Read all about it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, my goodness.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Is Abby running "Please
God, I'm Only 17" again?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}This scene alone is better
than the whole movie "Newsies".

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Thank you. Thank you.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}But not you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}President orders
monsters back to work.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Are considered
smelly and dangerous.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Listen, we better
skip this town.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}This is the place where
they're having all the trouble.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Cops?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}No, murders by the hundreds.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Some kind of monsters
killing people and drinking

{\a1\pos(222,460)}their blood.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ahh!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Eww, it gives me the creeps.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Imagine, being that thirsty.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Crow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, very funny, Miss Ghoul.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I read all about
it in the papers.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}This town's too
hot for my blood.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}What, are you a gecko?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, you know what I mean.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Listen girls.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I need some gas.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We better stop, and we'll
get some directions, too.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}City service is Citgo now.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Citgo zoom.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You watch too much TV.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(wheels screech)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Big hunk of inbred love.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yes, ma'am?
Can I help you?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He's cute, isn't he?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No.
- No.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Fill me up, huh?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Sure.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yes, an entire tank of gas.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Score.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Well, golly.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(bell dings)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Can you tell these
are support hose?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Thoughts of sex distracted
me, and now I'll have to

{\a1\pos(96,460)}immolate myself to subdue
the buzzing in my head.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, well, that's
great, but come along.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(upbeat pop music)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And so, I said to Jupiter,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"You know that Saturn."

{\a1\pos(33,460)}"He's a different kind of god."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(Man in red laughs)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It's a different kind of god.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, more wine?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Yes, yes, good, good.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's from Gaul, you know.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You might say it's
from conquered grapes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(Man in red laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, open a window.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We invented the pun, you know.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Is that right?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Goddess of Pearlo, from
what part of the Emperium

{\a1\pos(96,460)}do you dwell, generally?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Uhh, the suburbs.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I believe Pliny speaks
of the suburbs of the gods.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}And what are your godly gifts?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Earthquake?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Fire from the sky?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Music, perhaps?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yes, music, music,
yes, definitely.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well then, do favor
us with a song, lyres.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}What did you just call me?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Of course.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Umm, Brain Guygius, why don't
you take the auto harp here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And I will take the
gourd with a stick.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Help me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I can't play a lick.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Just smile and play along.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'll save your bacon again.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Alright then, what shall
we start with today?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Maybe a bit of
Bitter Dregs, huh?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Sure.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ah, we'll just jam
and see what happens.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Brain Guy chuckles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Okay, then.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Okay, then.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Here we go.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(musical instruments play)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}We're going.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}By Jove, ha, ha!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Truly this is the
music of the gods.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Wha-hoo!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(Man in red laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come, let us dance.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}No, Calipigeous.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You'll love it. It's the gods.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ohh!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(musical instruments play)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hoedown.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Everybody.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ In Asia Minor, it's
a spicy beef salad

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ In Pompeii, sizzling
beef pot stickers

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ In Iconia, a rich
kettle of beef stew

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ In Gaul, it's rich
beef Chateau Briand

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Demigods, join us.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Beef, it's what's
for movie sign.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We got movie sign.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(impact vibrations)

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Say, what's this I hear
about all these murders you've

{\a1\pos(96,460)}been having around here?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, yeah, it's a big deal.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}They got a big
investigation going on.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}They got guys coming up here
from Washington and everything.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, we better get
out of here, girls.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You aren't kidding.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}Hey, handsome, what's the
fastest way to get to New York?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Rocket car.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, I guess the best way
is to, umm, go down here to

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Wire Mill Road.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And you turn left, and
go two blocks over and...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're in Manhattan.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Then, you turn right,
and you go past the quarry.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And you'll see the thruway
right on the other side.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You can't miss it.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Thanks.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}How much do I owe ya?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's $4, please.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And a peek at your bra.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Thanks, honey.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You're welcome.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You want your Dick
Butkus collectible mug?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(car engine turns)

{\a1\pos(120,460)}In that case, if you
girls ever want to make good

{\a1\pos(96,460)}on your innuendo, please
feel free to stop by.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Turn left. Turn left.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Look at this route.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I can't look, stupid.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'm driving.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You want to crack us up?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Take a right on Monster
Killing Girls Road.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(car tires screech)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Here we go!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}New York or bust!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Can you just fast
forward to the death?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Wow, Herald Square.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}This is a road?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(tire pops)

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Heh, heh, you know what
that tire's favorite opera is?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Deflater Maus.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, great, a flat tire.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Right in the
middle of rush hour.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Extra footage
supplied by Zapruder.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now what do we do?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, this is New York.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We should be able to hail a cab.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I hope we see Woody
Allen while we're here

{\a1\pos(222,460)}in New York.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I think we need to
rebuild the engine.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I just saw "Rent".

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, where ya been?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Bo needs help with the wheel.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Down by that quarry.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Something must've died in there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It smells like the Fulton
fish market in the middle

{\a1\pos(264,460)}of July.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(intense thumping music)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, I put on a
bunch of patchouli oil.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I smell just fine.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}How's it goin', hon?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, I got it off,
but I can't see nothing.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}How 'bout some help?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Okay.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}They're headed to the
Laverne DeFazio convention.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, hold it, you two.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What's with you?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I heard something.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It sounds like the
opening percussion to the

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Olympics theme.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Aw, if it ain't money rustling,
it ain't worth hearing.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Shh! Hold it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I hear something too.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That monster's
pronating badly.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}Sounds like somebody,
somebody big, walking in mud.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Joe Don Baker?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You two flipped your
wigs or something?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It's a wiglet.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}So, this is the touring
company of "Come Back to the

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Five and Dime, Jimmy
Dean, Jimmy Dean".

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hello, monster.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Want to exchange innuendos?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom Servo chuckles)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's just those famous
Mexican walking catfish.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}There's that fishy smell again!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Could it be Babe Winkelman?

{\a1\pos(162,460)}I think I'll go
take a look around, girls.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm in my constricting
skirt and high heels,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}so I should be
perfect monster bait.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(screeches)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, isn't that just
like Denise to meet a guy.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}Please stop eating me
when I'm a size eight, okay?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hi-ya, hi-ya-ha.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}They're slightly less attractive
than our regular boyfriends.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Tonight on "Roar"...

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Come on. We'll ditch my
girlfriends, come on.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(girl screams)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yeah, that sounds
like a solenoid.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Pop the hood, and we'll
take a look at it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Okay, watch the body.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Don't watch the head.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, alright. Got her.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The day the mudskippers
fought back.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The movie's unflinching
look at women from New York

{\a1\pos(138,460)}is its best feature.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I could pay my own
way into the drive-in.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Now, ow!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ow, ow, pop the trunk!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Pop the trunk, ow!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Filmed inside a deacon's hat.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(growling)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And, sadly, a gas
attendant's dream

{\a1\pos(180,460)}goes unfulfilled.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(growling)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The next morning at
the monster's home.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Look at all the toenails.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}How many toenails?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It doesn't even
have this many toes.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Toenails everywhere.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Whoo!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Move your feet ya load.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've had my share of the
misery too, Miss Elaine.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And I know what it is.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Three brothers and two sisters

{\a1\pos(96,460)}all dead and gone.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}But you don't see me going
around moaning and groaning

{\a1\pos(264,460)}all day.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I have my work.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And the Lord has his,
and he takes care of us

{\a1\pos(180,460)}wherever we are.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yawn!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Why, what's this, Eulabelle?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, that's mine.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Give it to me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}So dubbed.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's a voodoo doll.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Isn't it?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You really believe in it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now don't you go
teasing, Miss Elaine.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I know a lot more
things than I say.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Eulabelle, there's no
such thing as voodoo.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yeah, ask any Haitian.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Who is it anyway?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's my Oscar Gamble doll.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}One of them zombies.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Al Gore?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Dr. Gavin was so worried.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I thought I could help.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She's got Dilbert's
boss's hair.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, somebody's
got to do something.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(doorbell rings)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, I'm black. I'll get it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hello, Mr. Hank. Come in.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hello, Eulabelle.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Just rode in from Richmond.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Here's that nice young
boy just pining to take

{\a1\pos(264,460)}you out.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Take you right
out of the picture.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom Servo chuckles)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Now quit your moaning
and groaning and go out and

{\a1\pos(201,460)}have some fun.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Your father didn't need
me this afternoon, Elaine.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And, well, I thought maybe
you'd like to go for a drive

{\a1\pos(222,460)}or something.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}What do you think magic bear?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, I don't know, Hank.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now, go on
upstairs and change.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He'll wait.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Just smile at the
stupid white people.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Look, I don't mind waiting.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You go ahead and change.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Alright.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Meanwhile, the monster gang
pulled into their safe house

{\a1\pos(96,460)}in Columbus, Ohio.

{\a1\pos(180,96)}How'd you like to
take a drive down

{\a1\pos(180,68)}Long Street, huh?

{\a1\pos(138,96)}Why did you come back
to the beach, Hank?

{\a1\pos(138,68)}I don't know, Elaine.

{\a1\pos(201,68)}Stuff, I guess.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I had a funny feeling
about this place.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I get it at my
aunt's place too.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come on. Let's go.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Huh, I wonder where he went?
Oh.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, she made her dress
out of a table runner.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, for cute.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}So, who's that bald,
pipe-smoking idiot who's always

{\a1\pos(54,460)}wandering around your house?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, I'm sorry.
That's your dad.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, man, what's happening?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}How ya doin' gang?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Pretty dead tonight, huh, Ron?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Yeah, ever since Tina
got killed, like no action

{\a1\pos(222,460)}around here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, well, it'll pick up.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That's so wise.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Take it easy, man.
- Take it easy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Alright, here we go.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Mmm bop, ding a ding da mmm bop.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Boo-be be be be ba bop.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Ron, what are you gonna play?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}What would you
like to hear, Elaine?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}How 'bout "You're
Not A Summer Love"?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Mmmm, just for you, baby.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Mmmm, hear that?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Just for me, huh?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hi!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Help, we're cutouts!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Summer love, summer love

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Huh, first you deny
the grief, then party!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Margaret Chase Smith
running for senate.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'd like your vote.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ You are not a summer love

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Whoo, almost had fun there.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Better watch myself.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ Give me mine, give me mine

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, Mars exploded. Huh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ You are not a summer love

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ You are a summer sausage.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And then, I almost didn't
call about not attending

{\a1\pos(96,460)}the slumber party.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, wait, come back.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ To love me ever

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ I say forever

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Okay, go for your gun.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ That you will be endlessly

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Scanners

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'd say something,
but the guy who dubs me

{\a1\pos(222,460)}is on break.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Do you like cheese?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ I'll be true

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I am comprised of a
series of ones and zeros.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Like a blank tape.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Never even cracked the seal.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, Hardware.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Oh, my darling, tell me

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Tell me you'll
be mine forever

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ I never touched a woman.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ We make the saints cry.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Love me forever

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Or I'll kill you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ I say forever

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ That you will be

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Yes, the sweeping majesty of
young white Republican love.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Close to me like
the sand and the sea

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Are we dead?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Hey, enough, enough touching.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That's enough.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}There must be five car
lengths between couples.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ I'll be true

{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ To you

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I want to take you
over to the buffet.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}They have this German potato
salad I want you to see.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Oh, my darling

{\a1\pos(96,460)}So, my parents were
born when they were young.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Tell me you'll
be mine forever

{\a1\pos(183,460)}I was at the
slumber party, and I have

{\a1\pos(96,460)}a lot of survivor--
mmm... mmm... mmm...

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'll never kiss again.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, I guess I never
have, pretty much.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Crow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Thanks for the free Funyuns.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Good night, girls.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now you go straight home.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}My brother's
coming to pick us up.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Good night, now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Good night, Johnny.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Anytime you close
down a drugstore, it's a

{\a1\pos(180,460)}wild night.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Uh-heuh!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I think they're from
the ladies' volunteer

{\a1\pos(117,460)}inventory-taking guild.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ssss, hey lady.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}Lady.
Would you buy me some beer?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I don't have ID.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Look Polish?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What? Huh?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Look at the sign up there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}He's not coming. Let's walk.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}There, see?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Look Polish.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Or, maybe it's look, Polish.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Look Polish.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(girls gossiping)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They're using their
Flintstone voices.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Anyway.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(Mike mumbles nonsense)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}So, why are they
speaking in tongues?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}No, he's not

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yeah, well, my
mother (mumbles).

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, I knew a guy who did that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Baby Bop's a prowler.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(girls gossiping)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Will you two shut up?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(car horn honks)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Come on. Come on.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's Steve Allen.
Don't get in.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Debbie, why don't
you sit in back.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, okay. Up front's okay.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(growling)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Stupid, stupid, stupid.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What was I thinking that
she'd ever go out with me?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Crow cries)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(Tom Servo sings a tune)

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Linda?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, if only I wore a size six.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I can't see the price.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Where's the price?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(glass breaks)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}After the King verdict,
monsters looted boutiques.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, just take the
glove off (mumbles).

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(groaning)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(glass clanks)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Mmm, he's got a delicious
blue cheese filling.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}[Mike] Ick!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's still alive.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I want to make some notes.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yes sir.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}This proves it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Worms play pinochle
on your snout.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hmmm, Monty Hall and
Bruno Hauptmann stopped by.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}April 10th, 7 p.m.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Notes on possible
malignant organism.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Overall configuration:

{\a1\pos(12,460)}That of a human arm severed
just below the elbow joint.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Muscle tissue seems
to be a sea anemone.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Species of protozoa.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}These organs are exactly
like human organs except that

{\a1\pos(117,460)}they have been replaced
by the protozoans.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Of course,

{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'm high.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This creature needs
the ordinary necessities

{\a1\pos(96,460)}of human life: proteins,
fats, sugars, and so forth.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}None for me, thanks.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But since its organs are
so decomposed that they can

{\a1\pos(12,460)}neither produce nor retain
the oxygen necessary for

{\a1\pos(222,460)}its survival,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}it needs the only food
which can keep it alive.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, you mean me.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Right?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Blood?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Human blood.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, we got some in the fridge.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}If a human body, a drowned
person, were attacked

{\a1\pos(57,460)}by tiny sea plants which
became parasites and completely

{\a1\pos(117,460)}infiltrated that human
body before it had a chance

{\a1\pos(54,460)}to decompose, would the body
be considered dead or alive?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}The Beatles.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Dead?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}No, it's still alive.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}But it's changed into a...

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Dip of some sort.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Well, is it a
plant or an animal?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Planimal.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's both.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's a giant protozoa.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Dr. Gavin.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}What's the best foot cream?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Can they be killed?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Or at least spayed?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I don't know, lieutenant.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They are the living dead.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They're zombies.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The living dubbed.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}[Dr. Gavin] Nothing so
dramatic as that, Elaine.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}They're more like a jellyfish.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You can't kill them by shooting
them or cutting them up.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, then how
can you kill them?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Shh!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I want to make sure
the kids are down.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I hear something.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's coming. Look
Polish, everyone.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The director bravely
mixes tedium

{\a1\pos(180,460)}with unscariness.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Mom, can we stay up later?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}There's something out there.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I know there is.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}Alright now, everybody
just keep calm, and be quiet.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The gun won't help.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Here. Take these knives.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}They're all we have.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}They won't help either.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Elaine, over there
in that corner.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You need a timeout.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Lieutenant, when I
say lights, turn 'em on.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}And I'll take care of this one.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}See, I did it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I didn't need any help.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Want to see me do it again?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Doctor, would this
be an appropriate time

{\a1\pos(222,460)}to wet them?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Crow gasps)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Mother Teresa?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Obi-wan Kenobi?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Leon Spinks?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Crow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}[Dr. Gavin] Lights!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Eulabelle.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Oh, well, what are all of
you doing sneaking and peeking

{\a1\pos(222,460)}in the dark?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm afraid you gave
us quite a scare.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, I'm sorry, Dr. Gavin.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Is the little baby gonna cry?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's so quiet up
there in the house.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I get scared by myself
all alone at night.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And them zombies, they
comin' at me tonight.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Eulabelle.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I just know they will.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(Eulabelle screams)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(glass clanks counter)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(gaseous explosion)

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Opa!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}You dope.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Now go get us
another monster arm.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That is bold barbecue.
Whoo!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Look, it's burning up!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Eulabelle, you've killed it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, Dr. Gavin, I'm sorry.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I didn't mean to.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, don't be sorry.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This is wonderful.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You've discovered a way to
destroy these creatures.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And you're fired.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Lord, lord.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Look, completely dehydrated.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Neat.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Protozoans are
almost all water.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This is all we have left.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, there's more
in the car, but...

{\a1\pos(117,460)}But what makes all the
smoke and steam, Daddy?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Sodium, plain old sodium.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hank, you remember
your chemistry.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Sodium is a very unstable
metal that reacts violently

{\a1\pos(180,460)}with water.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}That's right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Then they can be killed.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}With sodium.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ouch!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}They can if we can find them.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(upbeat pop music)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And the monster search
goes way off-track.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Same to you, fella.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What about that guy, huh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I just thought all-nude
was a dress code.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This is the reality
of Northwest Airlines'

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"mechanical problems".

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We are unwanted.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Outcasts.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Orphan of the storm.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What storm?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The storm of my soul.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}He likes liquor
is what he means.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, we better get
back to the senate.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This is really fun.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}This is exactly what
I wanted to do tonight.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Are we gonna raise the
spectre of wife swapping?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Crow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Where do we go now?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}We'll drive.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Are you capa-able of driving?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Of course I'm capa-able.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Are you capa-able?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Of course I am.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Where's the car?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thata way.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Albert Vitti permittee?!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Aha, I'll get my car.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You wait here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'll get my car.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We can listen to our
Foster Brooks books

{\a1\pos(264,460)}on tape.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Can we drink our cars?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, the intervention
did not go off as planned.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}These are the kind of
guys who wake up in pools

{\a1\pos(96,460)}of various things.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's odd that MADD would
invest in this movie.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- You think?
- Very well.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Okay, Joke coming
in on runway seven.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Joke, you have been
cleared for landing.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}And... good.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(cars crash)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, buddy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You got Chrysler
on my Chevrolet.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You got Chevrolet
on my Chrysler.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I guess we weren't
capa-able-ble.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(men chuckle)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Can the monsters
kill these guys three

{\a1\pos(201,460)}or four times?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Some people get giggly
when they drink.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Other people get
hateful and psychotic.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(Man laughs and yells)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Who's screaming?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Where are the demons?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Beelzebub.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, lead the way.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Uncle (mumbles).

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Let's go over to
Michael Irvin's place.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(men laugh and yell)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ted Kennedy and
Bishop John Roach.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, what's that sound?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, I'm urinating.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Man chuckles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It is? No, it's you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I think I hear Oberon.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Let's hear you walk.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Otis of Mayberry had a
quiet dignity compared to

{\a1\pos(180,460)}these guys.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}No, it's not you.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Now you walk.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now I'll walk off
the screen and into

{\a1\pos(180,460)}obscurity.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}No, that's not you either.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Vladimir and
Estragon, the sitcom!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hey.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Do farts have lumps?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(flatulence)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}What's it sound like?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It sounds like somebody in-
in rubbers filled with water.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Are you wearing rubbers?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}No.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}These two are forbidden
to even say the word

{\a1\pos(285,460)}rubber.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's probably somebody who
came from the swimming pool

{\a1\pos(222,460)}and came from
swimming with their...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Boy, the French would
love these two guys.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Genius.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That's not so funny.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It's probably some old drunk.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}God, I hate drunks.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(mumbles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm glad we were
able to remain friends

{\a1\pos(117,460)}after our breakup, Tib.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}They left their lights on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Must be Tom Bodett.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, we better
go turn 'em off.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yeah, save his battery
for Heaven's sake.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They're AA and Triple A.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, Stan, there's
a guy in here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And he looks Polish.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Man chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Dead man breathing.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, buddy.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Could I use your liver?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Man chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What are you doing?
You sleeping?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You think it's funny to sleep?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Huh? Huh?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, buddy.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Man chuckles)

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ahh!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hey! Hey!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Buddy! Buddy!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}He couldn't get
his contact out.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey Stan, this guy
ain't got no face.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Guy without a face...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Got no human traits...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The vodka's in the, ugh!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, Stan.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I better call 9-1,
what's the other number?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Stan, don't play
these games on me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Blackness.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Oompa loompa doompety doo

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ I've got another
riddle for you

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Serpentine.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(Tom Servo cries)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I love Lakers so much.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(Tom Servo cries)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(roaring)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I care too much about you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I've got to get you to detox.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Uh-oh!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}What happens if the monster's
a recovering alcoholic?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh boy!

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Because of this recent
discovery, the police now feel

{\a1\pos(54,460)}certain that in a very short
time, a method will be found

{\a1\pos(138,460)}to locate and destroy
these frightful monsters.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Extra, extra,
read all about it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The birth of a media empire.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Rusty Murdoch.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(woman screams)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(growling)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Flex time a sticking
point in contract.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Monsters tease cat.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The monsters win the pennant!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The monsters win the pennant!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The monsters win the pennant!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, I could just run
out and get some sodium,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}but I'm really beat.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Monster in tryst
with cabaña boy.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(girl screams)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know what would
solve this problem?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}More highway ramp meters.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(roaring)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Meanwhile, the police
are working around

{\a1\pos(117,460)}the clock to get little
Suzy Johnson's bike back.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We offer this shot of a guy
leaving a building as proof

{\a1\pos(54,460)}of how hard they're working.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Monsters re-killing
previous victims.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Authorities don't
know Shinola from that

{\a1\pos(222,460)}other stuff.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Dr. Gavin, look.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It says this letter is
gonna need two stamps.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}So, why aren't
they using sodium?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Sodium.
- Sodium.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Remember, boom, boom, sodium.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sodium.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The water from that
arm is radioactive.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Dummies.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That means the cells
themselves are radiated.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}But how?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Umm, voodoo, sir?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The floating pig.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}The what?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The floating pig.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That's what we call the
garbage scow that leaves the

{\a1\pos(96,460)}harbor every week.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You see, it's been dumping
waste material from the reactor

{\a1\pos(96,460)}at the university.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Do you know where they dump?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}There's a loo on
the ship, I imagine.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}A friend of mine said
he saw them once out at

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Western Island, I believe.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Western Island?
Western Island?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It's over here
in the East right?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Here it is.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Look at these currents, Hank.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}If one of those containers
sprung a leak, the waste would

{\a1\pos(54,460)}be drawn right by our shore.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And that's where Tina was
killed that first night.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Western Island is also where
that fishing boat went down

{\a1\pos(138,460)}just a few weeks ago.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've dumped there often.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}These creatures are human bodies
kept alive by radioactive decay.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sodium.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}So, wherever they go, they
leave radioactive water.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Try sodium.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}So all we have to
do is to test the water....

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sodium.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}...to know where they've been.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Sodium, sodium.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Right, then we can
tell where they are.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sodium.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}At this minute,
wherever they are,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's your plot point.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}they're building up a small
and harmless radioactive

{\a1\pos(201,460)}residue in the
surrounding water.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}The stuff that
burnt the monster arm.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Our Geiger counters will get
a scale 15 reaction out of

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- that water.
- So-

{\a1\pos(264,460)}D, I, U.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}So, what we have to do
is just test all the water

{\a1\pos(117,460)}in the immediate area.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}M, sodium.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And if they're in one of
those lakes, well, we'll get

{\a1\pos(201,460)}a scale reading
from the counter.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sodium.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Right. I'll call the police.
- Sodium.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We'll organize and get all
the people in the countryside

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- to help us.
- Sodium.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Then, all we have to
do is find them, and sodium

{\a1\pos(201,460)}will kill them.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Alright.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, yeah sodium.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}You're right.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Say, Dr. Gavin.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}D'oh!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}We don't know
how many there are.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We might need tons of it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You get on the phone and
call every chemical supply

{\a1\pos(138,460)}company in the area.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Noooo!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Someone must carry
sodium in large quantities.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'll call Lieutenant Wells
and get this thing started.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Geez, wow.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Sodium enters the movie.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We may stop these monsters
before another night

{\a1\pos(180,460)}of killing.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Right, Dr. Gavin.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(impact vibrations)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Extree, extree.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Read all about it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, what's up, Tom?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, Mike, I was so impressed
by that plucky news boy

{\a1\pos(222,460)}in the movie.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You know, out there every day
during the monster crisis,

{\a1\pos(78,460)}getting people the
information they need to avoid

{\a1\pos(222,460)}being eaten.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And his headlines were
always so darn up-to-date.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, that's true.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}So?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}So, what?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What, what?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}D'oh, oh!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}See I've gone into the
newspaper business.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(Mike and Tom Servo chuckle)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}All the pertinent news our
satellite community needs

{\a1\pos(12,460)}updated whenever a story breaks.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, you want to buy
the latest edition?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Sure.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom Servo chuckles)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yextree.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, "Mike Buys
Paper From Servo".

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's extremely
current, I'd say.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}No, old news already.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Gotta get the next edition out.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Yextree, yextree, "Mike Buys
Another Newspaper From Servo".

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, that's cute.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}So, it's a new headline
every couple seconds.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yextree, yextree.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Mike Chuckles at
Speed of News Updates".

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, yeah, I guess I did.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yextree, yextree, "Servo
Senses Mike's Growing

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Impatience with Newspaper Gag".

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I think you nailed that story.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yextree, yextree.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Mike Getting
Really Annoyed Now".

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'd say that's true to
a certain extent because

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I mean how am I...

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Yextree, yextree, "Servo About
to Divert Mike's Attention

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"and Make a Run for It".

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I mean, you buy all these papers
just to come in and annoy me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Mike, look behind you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's a giraffe with the
head of Larry Hagman.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}What? Where?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What? Why?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Where's the giraffe with
the head of Larry Hag-?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}D'oh, he fooled me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We'll, uhh, we'll be

{\a1\pos(180,460)}right back.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(upbeat pop music)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ah, I wonder if he got
the sodium thing working.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Meat is good.
I really like meat.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You're right. Vegetables aren't
so good, but meat is good.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Good afternoon, gentlemen.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I have here a list of
meats I'd like to read.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now, these are instructions
and map coordinates.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And meat recipes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We need to break up
into separate teams.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Each team is to organize,
search in that specific area.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Will there be a
meat break, sir?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There are a limited
number of Geiger counters.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}So share.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There's more being
brought up from New York.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}So, don't worry about it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You'll have them by the
end of the afternoon.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now, only two of you will
actually get to meet McGruff.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I want you to find
every single body of water

{\a1\pos(222,460)}in your area.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Like my bathtub, sir?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And be sure it's tested.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You've got to be sure that
those things haven't been there.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Let's get going.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}McHale, your
water's dirty, McHale.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Stupid lake.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(intense frantic music)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This lake is pregnant.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Those frosted lips
are radioactive.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Whoo!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Uhh, any common tadpoles
on the current crisis?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I found the monster's
Caprice Wagon.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(intense trumpet music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}No sir, I never knew
the monster that well,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}but I'll do what
I can to help you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}For the budget honeymooner,
try Frank's Discount Falls.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let's see, Monster
Busters, Monsters Begone,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Screaming mad at Monsters.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}How's it goin' Mr. Hank?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, it's no use, Eulabelle.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Nobody has any sodium.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They all get their
supply on special order

{\a1\pos(96,460)}from New York City.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Did you try everybody
in the telephone book?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yeah, almost,
all but a couple.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, you try that couple.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yeah!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You got to try, Mr. Hank.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Well, go on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Alright, Eulabelle.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'll call New York City.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They try throwing
Campbell's Soup?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's got a lot
of sodium in it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hello, operator, would
you please get the Manhattan

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Chemical Supply Company
in New York City?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You won't?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}That's right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The place without sodium.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hello, listen, do
you carry any sodium?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Do you have it in loaden?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's right, the metal.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}You do?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, listen, listen,
do you have a lot of it?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Can I supersize it?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, will you
hang on to it for me?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You won't?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hank Green.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, that's right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Alright, I'll be there
in about an hour.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'll have your
glasses ready too.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, I gotta buy a
window fan and do my tabs.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Then, I should swing by
and do that other thing

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and pick up the life saving
sodium maybe before they close.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ahh, I gotta bring that
one guy that thing, too.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}How'd he get up there?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I think he's lost.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The ancient Sodium
Empire Exhibit at the Met.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}He's in luck.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Whoo, hey where's
the Wonder Bra ad?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(jazzy upbeat music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And down to Greenwich
Village for no reason.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Very lost.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}How many more will die if
I do a little sightseeing,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}four or five at most, right?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Is New York
closed for the day?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Wipeout.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I fooled 'em all.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I also run a chemical
supply warehouse.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom Servo chuckles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, I'd like to
help, but I've had this

{\a1\pos(96,460)}dentist appointment
for six months.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Good afternoon, Dr. Gavin.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Good afternoon.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Saw you coming, so I
brought you some coffee.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, good. Thank you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Any sodium with that?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Any luck with your
water testing, Dr, Gavin?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Absolutely no luck.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I must have tested at least
10 places and didn't find

{\a1\pos(264,460)}a thing.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, Mr. Hank found
that chemical whatacallit.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}[Dr. Gavin] Oh, good.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And he's gone off
to New York to get it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}But he won't get
back before dark.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And Elaine? Where's Elaine?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, she's gone
off too, Dr. Gavin.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I think she mentioned
Fingle's Quarry.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Fingle's Quarry?
- Yes, sir.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Take it back.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Good God, why didn't
I think of that before?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}That's the deepest body of
water around here, and it's

{\a1\pos(117,460)}right where those three
girls were killed.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And though it was
the most obvious place,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}we haven't yet checked it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}When Hank gets here, tell him
I've gone to Fingle's Quarry.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yes, sir.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And call the police and
tell them to meet me there.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yes, sir.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And the Woolworth's Lunch
Counter, not that great.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Don't bother.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(phone dial spins)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Okay, where are my galoshes?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Galoshes, galoshes?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, catch me some
lightning bugs while

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'm out there.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(car engine hums)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Resusci-Annie drives to
her next demonstration.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Fingle's Quarry.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Ah, there's Stingles Pulley.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Pringle's Folly.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Stinkle's Pinkhole.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ringo's Fiddle.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hinkle's Stinkwad.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Gingle's Mudfiddle.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Seward's Folly.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Finnegan's Rainbow.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Studs Lonigan.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That might be a
little far removed.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm just gonna imagine
the music that would

{\a1\pos(33,460)}have added a lot to this scene.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}So, to get the sodium,
I have to take their

{\a1\pos(201,460)}old oil first?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He may be getting
too much sodium.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Crow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Stop.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Time to get to my
match with Krycek.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Bigfoot.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Big purse.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}She's wearing her Eddie
Bauer rugged hiking skirt,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}fully lined.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It does look quite
Fingle around here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Okay, lake, you can disrobe
and hop up on the table now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm meeting a lady
at the lake for brunch.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I visited the U.N.,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I had a nice lunch
with U Thant.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Calling car 28.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Pick up Hank Green.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He is coming East on
route 104 in gray MG.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}And proceed to Fingle's Quarry.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Over.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Will do immediately.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Doot doo doo doot doo
doo doot doo doot doot doo.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay, could you have one
of your walleyes fill this

{\a1\pos(201,460)}for me, please?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh no, 0.4 misters per hour.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That bass down there
needs Beano real bad.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(woman screams)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Your Asian MILF oil.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(woman screams)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, I better
mosey on out of here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Kinda screamed too soon,
I guess.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What's his best feature?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Probably none.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}What's with the bouzouki music?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(animated horn voice)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Are you Hank Green?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}That's right.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Just follow me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Why should I, pig?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(car engine buzzes)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(car siren)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Alright, sodium.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Clear the roads. We got sodium.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, I'm not gonna get
away from here tonight.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I better establish
base camp here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(Tom Servo buzzes and hums)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(girl screams)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ahh, I'm falling.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'm falling again and
again and again and again.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh my gosh, I've placed
my leg against a rock.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The British Royal Family.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh, no!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(upbeat pop music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(car siren)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I could carve a better
man out of a banana.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(growling)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Mommy, Mommy,
where are our towels?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're getting cold.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Uh-oh!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}She has her foot
caught in "The Rock".

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}How did she mutilate
herself so bad?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Is a little mouse down
there jabbing at her

{\a1\pos(180,460)}with a toothpick?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Now, you're sure you
can't see my head kinda

{\a1\pos(96,460)}protruding from my neck?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}No, no, no. You'll be fine.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, alright.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(growling)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(barking)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The catch and release
program backfired horribly.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(growling)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Damn, the monsters
are tailing me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's the ice cream truck.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Ice cream!
- Ice cream!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Whoo, I love ice cream!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, I could have
lifted it out of there

{\a1\pos(201,460)}the whole time.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I wonder why I
stayed here so long?

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Gettysburg, the sec--,
oh wait, Fingle's Quarry. Sorry.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, great, and I've got
that ass kicking contest

{\a1\pos(180,460)}today, too.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Chop, chop. Chop, chop.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Cho, cho, cho, cho, cho,
cho, ta da la, chop, hey.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sooooooooodiummmmm...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Soooooodiummmmm....

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Wow, the sun burned
out between frames.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}No, she's not a woman.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She's differently sexed.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}What are we looking at,
and why are we looking at it?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Crow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Turns out I had some
sodium in my sock drawer.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Crow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(groaning)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, hang on.
Gotta get the phone.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}They could have used Hormel
chili or some Dinty Moore.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}There's a lot of sodium in that.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(growling)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Cookie. Me want cookie.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, hey, hey, you
spill my drink, buddy? Huh?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, meanwhile, later,
yesterday afternoon

{\a1\pos(264,460)}I guess.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Where the hell are we?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Dad, I want to go to Vassar.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Not now.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(car siren)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, they must've gone
the speed of light

{\a1\pos(96,460)}'cause they can see
themselves arriving.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(car sirens)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(Tom Servo humming)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Quick set of doubles anyone?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, no, we've got driveway
blacktop by mistake.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(growling)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}A herd of salamanders.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Bosco puts hustle
in your muscle.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Bosco puts whee in your knee.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It also puts a dash
in your eyelash.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(growling)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, hi, Dad's getting killed.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, did you get to MoMA?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No! They must have tried
those last couple places

{\a1\pos(96,460)}in the phone book.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}And then they
drove to New York.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Retreat!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Damn you, Eulabelle!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You made them do it!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Dad's being smothered
by a huge loaf

{\a1\pos(222,460)}of pepperoni-
studded brown bread.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(growling)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You brought beer?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(growling)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom Servo chuckles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Sit down, Gomer.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Hey, pass that down, will ya?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Get your sodium!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, the itching,
the horrible burning.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Just at that moment,
a geyser goes off.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Wait, I come in peace!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I am the good- no,
wait a minute, I- ow!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(groaning)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}God, this is fun.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Give me another one
of those things.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ahh, my Richard
Pryor impression!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(crashing impact)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Guest appearance by
Commissioner Gordon.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(crashing explosions)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}In a fever of killing,
they throw sodium at some

{\a1\pos(138,460)}passing Girl Scouts.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}What's that cop doing?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Get out of here.

{\a1\pos(267,460)}Go on.
Just get out of here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm dying.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Say, I got the
receipt for the sodium.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Could you pay me back now?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And we could split it five ways.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Of course, I spent money
on gas, too, didn't I?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now, they got Gyuto monks.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Great.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And oh how they danced,
the little children

{\a1\pos(201,460)}of Stonehenge.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, at least they
got compost to last

{\a1\pos(96,460)}a few years anyway.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The Battle of Tinker's Belly.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Where's Shelby Foote
when you need him?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(police radio muffled)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(woman groaning and gasping)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Whoo! Wow!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Nasty.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(grunting)

{\a1\pos(264,68)}(mumbles)

{\a1\pos(246,96)}- Servo!
- Okay, alright, okay.

{\a1\pos(117,68)}Well, 914 Long Street.

{\a1\pos(96,68)}This is the place.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}He never paid
me for the sodium.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'll take it right
out of their...

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We interrupt to bring you this

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(mouth vibrations)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, Mr. Hank, come in.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hello, Eulabelle.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Just arrived on
the river boat.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Say, is Miss Elaine
receiving today?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I think she's asleep.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Let's check.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Alright.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Any news from the Northern
War Of Aggression, Eulabelle?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She's dressed like
Colonel Sanders.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}We interrupt this
program of burning melodies

{\a1\pos(12,460)}to bring you a special bulletin.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Shh, she's dead.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Late last night, our
police force, with the

{\a1\pos(222,460)}assistance of
Dr. Richard Gavin...

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Just jump right in with her.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}...the hiding place of
the monsters from the sea.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Look, he's nude already.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(mumbles) ensuring all
citizens that the invasion

{\a1\pos(96,460)}of the Seas army is over.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}How are you, my darling?
I'm back from Bull Run.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hank.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hello, darling.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}How's the leg?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, it's much better.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I just saw your father,
and he's been burned badly

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but he'll be fine.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And he'd be back from the
hospital within a week.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, thank God.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}Oh sure.
Just make yourself at home.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}As far as you're
concerned, I'm wearing

{\a1\pos(180,460)}a female condom.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}Pants, several kevlar
undergarments, tiny pitbulls,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and motion detectors.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(upbeat music)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, Hank.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'm engaged to
The Del-Aires now.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The Eric Roberts voodoo doll.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ What good is a man

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ What good is a man

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The music's coming
from inside the radio!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Then, what good am I

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ If I don't have you

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, you don't have me, okay?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Love me true

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Del-Aires later
successfully broke up and went

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to junior college.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ I don't want to be lonely

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ I don't want to be blue

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ But I can't help it

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ If I don't have you

{\a1\pos(138,460)}They all just got off
their shift at Rax!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike chuckles)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}He's not here!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ What's my baby's name

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh wait, there was
a Tina in this movie?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Let's watch it again.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I love Tinas.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ But I love her just the same

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ What good were the stars

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ What good were the stars

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Mova houta heavo?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Then what good am I

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I think they stole this
music from black people.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, black people were
gonna throw it away anyway.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Love me true

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Buddy Holly will
sue-uu--uu-ue!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The guy in the middle
better finish quickly.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}He has a beating to get to.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ La la la la la la

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Don't do that!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Wow!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Yeah, well end more.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's not ending enough.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(impact vibrations)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, everyone.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know, Tom and Crow and
I were talking about how

{\a1\pos(138,460)}the kids today don't
know squat about sodium.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Yeah, I couldn't have
put it better myself, Mike.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Why the shocking lack of sodium
taught in the schools today

{\a1\pos(222,460)}is shocking.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's right, Crow.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}So, we asked ourselves how, how
do we reach kids today about

{\a1\pos(285,460)}sodium?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}How, how, how?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Through the rock n' roll
music that the kids seem

{\a1\pos(264,460)}to like.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yeah!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hit it!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ - Sodium, sodium...
- sodium, sodium

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Sodium, sodium

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Soooooo diiiuuummm

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Sodiuuum

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Sooodiuum

{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ Sodium

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Sooodiium

{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ Sodium

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Soodiuuum

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sodium.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sodium

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ah, if you don't know
anything about sodium now,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I don't know what
else we can do for ya.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, you kids with
your big pants, and your

{\a1\pos(96,460)}colored chalk, and
your Neve Campbell.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Sodium, won't you?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And your fanny packs,
and your Nerf balls.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}Oh, we better see
what's going on with Pearl

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and them, huh?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Pong and your
Volkswagon Golf leases.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You ready?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And your notebooks, and
the kids with the pierced

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I don't know what.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The roller skates, and the
23 skiddos, and the listening

{\a1\pos(222,460)}to the Becks.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Mmmm!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Man in red chuckles)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Now, that was a
glorious feast, aha!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Satiated, Brain Guyus?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, yes indeed.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, then, puke?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, no, thank you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm really quite full.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}No, I mean to the
Vomitorium, shall we?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, ha, of course.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You son of a god.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(mumbles).

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Be right back.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We'll be right back.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Eghhh!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Dah!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(man in red chuckles)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You and women.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You know, I think I'm
really gonna like it here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Say, be a dear, and have
one of your fellow servants

{\a1\pos(96,460)}bring up more lamb.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Sure.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know, I find it
so refreshing

{\a1\pos(138,460)}that a woman your age
can still get blemishes.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's cute.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Your plainness must afford
you a peaceful anonymity.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}You're lucky.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Tell me, is that pile of
straw on your head easier

{\a1\pos(12,460)}to care for than real hair?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(woman in yellow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You, you are so
brave to wear that.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Even with all those black
goat hairs sticking out

{\a1\pos(33,460)}of all the moles on your back.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Tell me, is your husband
so pale because you suck

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the life blood out of him?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He's not my husband.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, then you're barren.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, just selective.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Must be fun to be a slut,
though.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(woman in yellow chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Not nearly as much fun as
being a boozed-up old hag!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That tears it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(glass breaks)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(women chuckle)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I mean to think...

{\a1\pos(285,460)}I know.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Your good wine bottle.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(women chuckle)

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Skank.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Skag.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, Flavia.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(men chuckle)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Flavia, the gods have deigned
to stay with us indefinitely.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Isn't it wonderful?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Beef!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(men chuckle)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(slow instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(slow instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(138,68)}(upbeat beach music)