Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988–1999): Season 7, Episode 22 - Angels Revenge - full transcript

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ In the not too distant future

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Way down in Deep 13

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ Were hatching an evil scheme

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ They hired a temp
by the name of Mike

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Just a regular
Joe they didn't like

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Their experiment
needed a good test case

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ So they conked
him on the noggin

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ And they shot him into
space.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let me go!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ We'll send him cheesy movies

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ The worst we can
find (la-la-la)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ He'll have to sit
and watch them all

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ And we'll monitor
his mind (la-la-la)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Now keep in mind
Mike can't control

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Where the movies
begin or end (la-la-la)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ He'll try to keep his sanity

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ With the help of
his robot friends

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Robot Roll Call:

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Cambot! (Show yourself!)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Gypsy! (I'm not ready!)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ Tom Servo! (Hello there!)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Crow! (That's one "o"!)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ If you're wondering
how he eats and breathes

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ and other science
facts (la-la-la)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Just repeat to yourself,
"It's just a show

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ I should really just relax

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ for Mystery Science
Theater 3000"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(doors closing)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"I wear my
sunglasses at night."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, hi everyone,
I'm Mike Nelson,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}this is the Satellite
of Love and this is--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ugh, I am so angry.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I can't remember when
I've been this angry.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Crow, what's wrong?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}What happened?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've got amnesia.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Amnesia?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, can you believe it?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I of all people, Crow
T. Robot, have amnesia.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, anybody know the
capital of South Dakota?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Pierre.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, thanks a lot.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}So Crow, about this
amnesia of yours-

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, its terrible,
Mike, the list of things

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I can't remember is endless.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I can't remember you, I
can't remember Cambot,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I can't remember Fisk's
home run off the foul pole

{\a1\pos(180,460)}in the bottom of
the 12th in game six

{\a1\pos(96,460)}of the '75 World Series.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Okay, mythical beast, eight
letters, beginning with--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Minotaur.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, thanks a lot.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Huh, let's see, the
last time I had amnesia,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I got somebody to hit me a
sharp blow to the head, ha.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Cleared her up right away.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Uh, would you mind, Mike?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh ho, I don't know,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but anything I can do
to help, I suppose.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, if I'm not
mistaken there should be

{\a1\pos(117,460)}a large wooden mallet
under the desk.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, I can't seem to, uh...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Uh, bottom shelf on
the right, way in the back

{\a1\pos(117,460)}behind the lava lamp.

{\a1\pos(246,460)}Oh, oh,
you're right, alright.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well if you're ready
then, uh, here we go.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Okay.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Oh!
- Gee.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, hey, now I remember.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It wasn't amnesia I had,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}it was ambrosia.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Make a list baby

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Again, harder this time.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Uh, we'll be right back.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(theme instrumental plays)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Make a wish baby

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ And love will
make it come true

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, come on Crow,
come on give it a rest,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}or at least sing
something by Eric Carmen.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ All by myself,
don't wanna be...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Wait! Look! Look!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Someone's trying to contact us!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Who is it?!
What do you want?!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Who! Are! You!?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ah, Mike, how are you?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You're probably wondering
why we're dressed

{\a1\pos(138,460)}as our favorite 70's
relief pitchers;

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Tug McGraw and Rollie Fingers.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yeah, uh,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Why?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That will all become
clear soon enough

{\a1\pos(12,460)}my impertinent little titmouse.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Frank?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Face it Nelson,
you're ratings stink!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I mean, jeez, you draw
fewer viewers than re-runs

{\a1\pos(117,460)}of the "Duck Factory".

{\a1\pos(96,460)}So, to beef things
up a little bit,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}we've put a little additive
in your food supply

{\a1\pos(180,460)}to turn you and
your little minions

{\a1\pos(12,460)}into the cast of the smash hit,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}starring Lorenzo
Lamas, "Renegade".

{\a1\pos(201,460)}And that's...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}why we're dressed as
70's relief pitchers.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, come on, there's
nothing you can put

{\a1\pos(96,460)}in somebody's food
that'll turn em

{\a1\pos(54,460)}into the cast of "Renegade".

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(gasps)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(all gasp)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Keep it up, the
ratings are on the rise.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(motorcycle hums)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yes! Baby!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Now, remember,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}you're a cop who's been
wrongly accused of a crime,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and you roam the countryside,
as a bounty hunter,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}looking for the
murderers of your wife.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yes! Yes!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(mini motorcycle hums)

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh no,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}it's wearing off.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The ratings are slipping.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ugh, did I just turn into
your wily, winnebago driving,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Native American buddy
and then back again?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Okay, this is not a problem.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Us being 70's relief pitchers

{\a1\pos(138,460)}is worth at least a
full ratings point.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Uh, show em your Tug
McGraw again, Frank.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm Tug McGraw.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}And as your
experiment this week

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I've tapped into the 70's
jiggle fest, "Angel's Revenge",

{\a1\pos(138,460)}starring Jim Backus
and Jack Palance,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}who in lieu of pay
actually worked for scotch.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ On and on

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Kill him, kill him.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come on, get him.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, sorry.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Whoa, whoa.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Movie sign!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Movie sign!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ Movie sign

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(doors open)

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Crow!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Dee dee dee

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Stop, no more.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, I have yet
to be amused, ha ha.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh the great, "Greydon Clark".

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Is related to True Don Bleu?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}A: Maria, the guards.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}B: April, Keiko to the roof.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}C: Terry, Michelle,
Elaine through the gate.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}D: Explosive to the roof.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}E: Down the chimney.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}F: April, Keiko to the van.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}G: Pick up Maria.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}H: Drive the hell outta there!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Defense! Woo!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh no, it's not gonna work.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Why?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, first of all, take
off the brass knuckles.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You don't look like
you've been hurt.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Here, try this.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Lipstick?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh well, okay.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I have a feeling Johnny
Wad is gonna be in this.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}No, not on your lips,
here on the bruise.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, no!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}My face!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Dear god...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, that looks fine.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Mary Kay, Kay, Kay.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Good job, April.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Not quite.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Look.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Huh, Colonel Potter.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Guards on horseback.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Damn!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Language, Bernice.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That's not all, girls.
On the tower.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I don't know why, but
I think its Eric Carmen.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Let's just do
our hair and shop.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Who's not thrusting?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, I only saw
two guards before.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Maybe they added some after
we hit them at the beach.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Doesn't matter.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The question is,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}what are we gonna do about it?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And who brought the brain?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But we've got the
plans on our side.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And we've got these!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We can still do it we can
still blow up that compound.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Maybe, but it's not gonna
be as easy as, "A,B,C".

{\a1\pos(117,460)}She is the smart one.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We've voted before,
we'll vote now.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Thumbs up, we attack.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Down, we get outta here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey look, it evolved last
night, it's opposable now.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ha, it's unanimous.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I can take the
guards in the front.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}No way, you're
needed on the roof.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm the only one
who can be spared.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}If I don't make it back,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the rest of you can still
blow up this compound.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}The few, the
proud, the (growls)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They rely on camouflage.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's gorgeous out there,
a little too gorgeous.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Sheila Knievel.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Bounce, behave, bounce.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, hi Pam.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I detect the
liver spotted hand

{\a1\pos(96,460)}of Aaron Spelling
is behind this.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Stop standing that way.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Connie Stevens is
"The Professional."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey! You're giving
away the plot!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Great, Mitchell's here.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I hope they didn't pay a lot

{\a1\pos(117,460)}for this security guy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Dear Ranger Rick Forum,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm a forest ranger in a
small mid-western town...

{\a1\pos(117,460)}David Mamet's Oleanna.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ow, ooh ouch, hey,
look at the view.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Wanna have
coffee sometime?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Dum, dum, dum, duuum

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They're just making out.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Gene Shalit wants
his hair back.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We mourn the end
of the fight scene.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}They're doing their
impression of the "Madonna".

{\a1\pos(180,460)}When bad things
happen to hot people.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh no, I shouldn't have.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yes, you should have!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We've got a job to do.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We have to clean the gutters.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Are we gonna do it, or not?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}To Lady Clairol.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Apparently, someone thought
their thumbs were sexy.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}If she's dead
I can't watch.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}She was my favorite character.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Don't worry.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'll get those guys at the gate.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}I'm gonna run potty
first, uh, then I'll attack.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Be Careful!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Uh, Semper Fi, marine!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come on, let's go.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You got the wire cutters?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}What about the
underwire cutters?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Kelly LeBrock's heroes.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(imitates music)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I wonder if it
aroused suspiscion

{\a1\pos(33,460)}when they ordered those suits.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}So these were
the "Carter Years"?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, I do sense
a malaise here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Charlie was close,
I could smell his perfume.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Squanto: A Warrior's Tale.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}At least they blend
in with the gravel okay.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}They're attacking a
Klingon language camp.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, good.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And this was Carter's
hostage solution?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I found the greatest shampoo,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}it's called Body Untapped,
Herbal Essence is good,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but wait, I'll tell you
after we kill these guys.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Why, they've snuck
into the old West.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(humms "Oh Susana")

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Those were big dogs.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The Green Barrettes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Alright, you know what?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm just giving in and
looking at the breasts.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}(humming "Little Drummer Boy")

{\a1\pos(180,460)}For Lancome and
Isabella Rossellini!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Jose Cardenal looks on.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's Miles O'Keeffe
with breasts.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Turns out the guy's
really a great guy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}As easy as A,B,C.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}She formed a sentence.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We're up, let's go.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This movie is a shrine
for 7th grade boys.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}So lucky, one of
the first DeLoreans.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Behind PTA lines.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Be right back.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Freddy Fender!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Maddie, is that the
issue you're in?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Wish I hadn't
bought a Playgirl,

{\a1\pos(264,460)}aw heck,
they're nude anyway.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know, beer and porn do
make the shift go faster.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Even for me it's
fairly pungent in here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I've got a scathingly
brilliant idea.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Boy, I'll tell ya, we
never get anything-

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(comical sound effects)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Okay, sound by
Hanna-Barbera, fine.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I think this place smuggles

{\a1\pos(117,460)}black market galleries
and easy riders.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Can't get enough of Super
Sugar Crisps. Doo do doo.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hey.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Wait, don't shoot,
please don't shoot.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I still like this better
than "City Slickers II".

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I was walking out
in the mountains,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and well, I fell and
I scratched my cheek,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and I broke my shoe.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We fully believe you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Is there anything
you can do to help me?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I mean is there anything
at all you can do?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hockey moms to the rescue.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"The Mom 2000, when
you have to get them

{\a1\pos(12,460)}to piano lessons safely".

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The turret gun is ready!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}The turd gun?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Here we go!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What do you need
one of those for?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hang on, girls!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Vaguely Strauss, but not!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, the Strauss monster's
here in his van, woo!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Not the self-styling Adorn!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Susan, do you
have any tampons?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's the T&A Team.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's girls, we're ruined.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Our empire is crumbling.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Flush the wax worms!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(theme instrumental plays)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This isn't as cool as
Electro Woman and Dyna Girl.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Fred Sanford!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}This is the weirdest
Merchant-Ivory film.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Wow, what a pert
little grenade.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's secret redneck
world headquarters.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Yeah, they're all listening

{\a1\pos(54,460)}to Charlie Daniels in there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's prepay after five!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey Vern, I can't find
your freaking legs, Vern!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Gas prices are skyrocketing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There goes another
Pump N' Munch.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Yeah, filled with Slim Jim's

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and obscene trucker tapes.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ready? Catch!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Got it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}UPS delivers.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Didn't we just blow
up this building?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Let's go, hurry girls.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You shouldn't wear
spike heeled boots

{\a1\pos(138,460)}on a commando raid.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}April, come on!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Get in here!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Put the gun in,
put the gun in!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, oh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}In to the stunt grinder.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'm coming,
I'm coming.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Okay.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'll bet you're wondering

{\a1\pos(117,460)}what a nice girl like
me is doing on the roof

{\a1\pos(96,460)}of this building.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well, to tell you the truth,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm wondering that
myself about now.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It all started a few months ago

{\a1\pos(138,460)}with a street pusher
named Sticks.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}He was pushing drugs to kids.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm a school teacher.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I carry a badge.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Some of them were my students.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Gabriel is out for justice.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This is so timely
because angels

{\a1\pos(96,460)}are real, real popular.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Mmhmm.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know, I have to say,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Jim Backus looks
good in a jumpsuit.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, Mr. Haney.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'm glad they
preserved the original

{\a1\pos(54,460)}parallelogram vision format.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And Sir Laurence Olivier.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Rober Urich is "Dan Tanna."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Anytime is right
for a Beck Beer.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'd like a drug, please.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This guy's got assistant
pro written all over him.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Not interested.

{\a1\pos(246,460)}Come on,
it's a piece of metal.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Look, I'm not interested.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Why don't you go
get some money

{\a1\pos(117,460)}from your rich sister
or something, huh?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'm not a pawn shop.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm a human being.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Look, go get the green
stuff, then we'll deal.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, my purse is a mess.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Like a little
head on your beer?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You little twerp!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Why'd you hit me?!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}What makes you think I did it?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You got beer on my shirt.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Is that beer?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That's blood!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I've been drinking blood?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He's a smarties dealer.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ugh, I'm not a
very good pusher.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}When I entered the
5th grade market,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I knew it'd be the
big leagues, wow.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Great, I have
to hire protection

{\a1\pos(54,460)}from Mary Crest Elementary.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm gonna put the suit
on the aliens gave me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I will triumph
over my head injury.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Willie Aames in the
"Vince Van Patten Story".

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The Loneliest druggie.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Squanto in L.A.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Uh oh, the drugs
are getting washed.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They melted in the sun.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Are you sure you
know who hit you?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yeah, look, he
snuck up behind me

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and really clobbered me one.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}So don't worry, I
know who the kid is,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}he's been using for months.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He didn't get away with
much though, just a few--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Joints? Doobies?
Spliffs? Reefers?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well I can't let some little
punk get away with this.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}News--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And sports at 11.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}has a way of
getting around fast.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Awful bad for business.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Get in.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}This guys should not
be school superintendent.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Man, you are dumb.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You know that?
You are really dumb.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ha, I've been
smoking a lot of pot.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Letting some punk
kid roll you like that.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Shame based kingpinning.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I'm really sorry, Mr. Ferrell.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It'll never happen
again, I swear!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I was dumb but I'm not now.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}But uh, sorry don't
get the job done, son.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now let's go get you a
Peanut Buster Parfait, huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ooh boy, that's a
lot of earwax, ew.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Jack's down years.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You're not gonna
tell mom, are ya?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'll be disappointed
if Grant Goodeve

{\a1\pos(201,460)}isn't in this.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We're addicted kids,
still a million strong

{\a1\pos(222,460)}and growing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This is some hard
turf, isn't it?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Mean streets of Ojai.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}There he is, Mr. Ferrell.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I told you I knew where he'd be.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Heidi Fleiss!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}James at 15 miles an hour.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's hard to
jog wearing Orlon.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}If Jack could turn
the air conditioner off,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}that Caddy could catch him.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Jack's not getting
paid enough to run.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The Bad News Bears
are going to lose

{\a1\pos(33,460)}that game today, aren't they?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I've got Gambino ties!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}SweeTarts!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Let this be a warning
to Ms. Eddington's class.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, hey, dummy,
don't hurt him too bad.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He's our only customer.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Leave a roll on him so
they'll know he's a user.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let's get the hell
out of here, come on.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Finally, it all
comes together.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, kids loved Michelle
Wilson back then, remember?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ah ha, the filthy unfunny
comedy of Buddy Hackett.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}For those of you
who can't get tickets

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to anything else,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}stagger in drunk after
losing all your money.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(imitates horse neigh)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, that's not
Flip Wilson, honey...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Yes it is, it's that
Geraldine character.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ Always and forever you can
have this heart of mine

{\a1\pos(96,460)}On second thought,
Iggy Pop, ya know?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ You make me wanna
shine shine shine

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Shine your love

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Shine your love on me

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I lost $20,000!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}(sobs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Shine your love on me

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Are we getting funky?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Shine shine shine shine

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Shine shine shine shine

{\a1\pos(12,460)}What am I supposed to do?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Shine, shine, shine my, shine,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Shine on me

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Okay.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It was a lot easier to
entertain in the 70's.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This audience would riot

{\a1\pos(96,460)}if they saw KC and
the Sunshine Band.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Shine shine

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Shine my love

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Dig, dig, dig my legs.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Dig, dig, dig my midriff, yeah!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}This is one of Cole
Porter's worst songs.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Shine shine

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Shine my love

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Shine shine

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Shine my love

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Shine shine

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Shine my love

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Ruth Bader Ginsberg on backup.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}In the 70's, you could
take an abstract concept

{\a1\pos(96,460)}like shining your love,
and just go with it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Shine shine

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Shine your love

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Arthur Godfrey, will
you shine your love?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Shine your love

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Her image has
been immortalized

{\a1\pos(12,460)}on pinball machines everywhere.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}If shining deer is illegal,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}why isn't shining your love?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You know how many people claim

{\a1\pos(12,460)}they were at this concert?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, how 'bout shining
my steak over here?!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Shine shine

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Shine shine shine shine

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Shine your love

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Shine your love on me

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Arthur, put a ukelele
under his tongue.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Shine your love on me

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Why don't you shine
shine shine shine

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Shine shine shine shine

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- How are ya?
- I'm peaking.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Baby just shine
shine shine shine

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Shine shine shine shine

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You know,
I buffed my love once,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I never shined it.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}Next on Don
Kirshner's Rock Concert,

{\a1\pos(99,460)}one of the greatest
influences on the disco scene

{\a1\pos(96,460)}of the late 70's.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She's leaving, yay! Woo!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Now she's got one of those.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, hmm.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We've never seen
such great disco.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you,
thank you very much.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}As most of you know,
this is my closing show

{\a1\pos(138,460)}of this engagement,
and there's somebody

{\a1\pos(12,460)}in the audience, I'm sure
you'd all like to meet.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The guy who cancelled me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}One of the living
legends of show business,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Mr. Arthur Godfrey.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(applause)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Thank you, you're all fired.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You have no humility,
all of you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(belches)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You've been a
wonderful audience,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and as always Las
Vegas is the best

{\a1\pos(12,460)}place in the world to entertain.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(doors close)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Okay, everybody.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}In the spirit of the 70's,

{\a1\pos(99,460)}I've come up with a
brilliant Blaxploitation film

{\a1\pos(12,460)}for all of us to star in.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Crow, I don't know,
it just seems to me that

{\a1\pos(180,460)}you've reworked
"Earth Vs. Soup"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and inserted jivy
character names.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Like I'm that lazy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now, I'm confused.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Am I Chocolate Jones
or Sugar Fly McQueen?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Uh, you're both
and you're also

{\a1\pos(138,460)}reading the part of
Sweet Mama String Bean

{\a1\pos(12,460)}who runs the boutique de beaute.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}Okay Mike, uh,
let's see, take it from...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Afro's and Bafro's line
on the top of page five.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Okay,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Girl, don't think
on soul brothers.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I don't have any lines.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, but you get to
wear slinky dresses,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and hold guns and stuff.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Not this sister!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Crow, you know, I don't
know how to tell you this

{\a1\pos(54,460)}but uh, I mean, look at me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'm really not that funky.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Mike, to me you're the
Don Cornelius of the 90's.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, I don't really
see it that way.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Chocolate Jones and
the Temple of Funk"

{\a1\pos(12,460)}is guaranteed boffo box office.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Smudgey the Bootblack,
which is of course, my part.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}So I'll need a cane.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh and Mike, what size
dashiki do you wear?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, I'll get a large.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Now, the Cadillacs.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(theme music)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(sighs)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(knock at door)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come in.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Where'd you go?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Mr. Godfrey, I'm
so glad you came by.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}How are ya,
how are ya, how are ya?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I just came to say thank you

{\a1\pos(12,460)}for that wonderful introduction.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}That was very kind of you,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and I had to come
back and tell you,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}you were great, wonderful.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Michelle, you're just starting.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You can have anything you want,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}TV, movies, anything.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You have the makings
of a superstar,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and I've invited all the stars

{\a1\pos(54,460)}that are playing Vegas this
week to come to my suite

{\a1\pos(138,460)}about three o'clock
in the morning

{\a1\pos(12,460)}for a little get together.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'd love to have you come.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Can you make it?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, I'd love to but
I'm doing LA tomorrow.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Get out of my dressing room.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'd love to have
you but I understand.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Your career comes
first, of course.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You keep straight like that
and you will be a star.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Thank you Mr. G-- Arthur.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Come on over here, how
about a little co-host.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(grunts)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Take the wheel, Skipper.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey sweetheart,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I got us booked again
for The Carson Show.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Everything's going to
start happening for us.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}All that work that you've
worked so hard for,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}it's gonna all start paying off.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Nothing can stop us.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And with your record on the
charts and still climbing,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}we're hot!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I mean, like sizzle.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yes, but right now all
I want to do is change,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and get on that plane for home.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(phone rings)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Shining your love?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hello.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You want me to be a greeter?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Look, don't bother her
with phone calls now.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}No, I will not call
you little buddy.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}He looks a lot
like Gertrude Stein.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You better take this one.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hello? This is
Michelle Wilson.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh that's sick, Mr. Godfrey!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh my god, not Bobby!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Is he alright?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, no.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}He is alright.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Three fountains in a fountain.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}We're lucky.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We have a three seater bidet.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'll pay all
expenses, everything.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He's practicing to
be on Mike Douglas.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}So just take a
couple of weeks off.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Relax, that way you can go
see Bobby in the hospital

{\a1\pos(285,460)}and--

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I almost called you Gilligan.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, then you'll see,
he'll be home in no time.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Its Fran Lebowitz,
still not writing.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Excuse me Miss
Wilson, a Miss Thomas

{\a1\pos(138,460)}is here to see you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}She say to tell you, she's
Bobby's schoolteacher.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And can he get her any pot?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Show her in, please.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's the colorful domestic

{\a1\pos(180,460)}who adds all the
humor to the show.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Welcome to Skipper's,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}maybe you'd like
to wait in the bar.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Michelle, I'll
leave you two alone.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now if you need anything, call.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Day or night, anything.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Pardon me.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}What would you possibly need

{\a1\pos(117,460)}from an Alan Hale Jr.?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I don't know.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm awfully sorry about
Bobby, he's a fine boy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Nobody deserves a
beating like that.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Pauly Shore does.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}He wouldn't even tell
me who beat him up.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The doctor said
he was on drugs.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}How am I related
to him, again?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}God, I didn't even know
he was using this stuff.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He also made an
attempt on Ford's life.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}He's so young.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Bobby's lucky, he'll be okay.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Some kids aren't as lucky.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I shouldn't have left him
with just the housekeeper.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I'm talking about the men who
push poison onto young kids.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Something's gotta
be done to stop it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}very day a new drug comes along,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and these creeps
push it onto kids.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Every day?
That's good marketing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've got something
in here for you to see.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This is very interesting
and I've got it

{\a1\pos(12,460)}in a very important place.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's got wings.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's in here, I
know it is, someplace.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's really important.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I know I've got it in
here, now, just a moment.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, heck!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh wait,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Here's a Velamints stuck
to a Kleenex, want it?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ah, here it is.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm taking a big chance
showing you this.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}A map of historic
Williamsburg.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I've been working on
this for over two years.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}This is an area located about
75 miles east of Los Angeles.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Nearest town is
over 20 miles away.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're booked there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}This is where
they take the stuff

{\a1\pos(54,460)}that comes in from overseas,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and process it down to what
they sell on the street.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}There's millions of
dollars worth of drugs

{\a1\pos(180,460)}being processed
in this building.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Mmhmm.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Much of it highly
explosive chemicals.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We can destroy it in
less than a minute,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and I know the people
who can help us.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}But I can't approach them,
they don't know me,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}would never trust me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}But since your song
is doing so well,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and they know who you are--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Fame equals trustworthy.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Maybe we can
approach them together.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}What? I wasn't listening.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You really think that
we can pull this off?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh yes, I'm positive!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm a very organized person,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and this map is perfect
in every detail.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I know we can do it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Women can make a difference.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ah, the director wrote
that so he could get laid.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(gun shots)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Fantastic, cut.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Clean up the corpse,
let's move on.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Barry Knight's first feature.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}You alright?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Sure, no sweat, it was a snap.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Did you get it, I hope?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, I think so.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}How'd it look?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Terrific.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Should we have filmed it?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}That's good, you can go now.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Let's get a real
actor in here please.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Uh, that'll blow
the budget sir.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Come on Rick, hurry up
with the actor, would ya?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Jesus, would you
please take your mark?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Come on, could
we get an actor?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Jeez.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Her name's Terri Grant,
she's the best stunt driver

{\a1\pos(201,460)}in Hollywood.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And she's deaf.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She can drive and
modify a vehicle better

{\a1\pos(33,460)}than anyone else in this town.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}She'll help us, her brother
overdosed five years ago.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}She's black you know.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, um, Miss Grant!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That was a fantastic
stunt, are you okay?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh sure, thanks.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We need a real stunt sign!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Nothing to it if you
know what you're doing.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, you're Michelle
Wilson, aren't you?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You're terrible.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}God, I just love your voice.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Are you working on this movie?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}No, but we've got something
to talk to you about,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It's about the pencil test.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and it's not making movies.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}So come on in, we'll talk.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Do you have a stunt
bra for my friend?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ya!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That's Keiko Yumaro,
here from Vietnam

{\a1\pos(96,460)}a little over two years,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and knows what problems
kids can get into.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}She teaches karate and
dance for these kids

{\a1\pos(180,460)}in the morning.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}She'll help.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}She's the Asian
one in our group.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ya!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You killed my
brother last week

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Ya, ya!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Can we go?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Ya, ya, ya!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}A very special,
All-American girl.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}La Choy makes Chinese food.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Get her!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Rip her apart!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Kill her!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(kids cheer)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Darn it!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now I know it's in
here somewhere.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I just know it, I
put it here myself.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, Popeye.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Here it is, oh good.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Okay, are you ready?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Do you think you could climb
to the roof of that building

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and drop explosives
down the chimney?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Are you kidding?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}If it keep one kid
from getting hurt,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'll climb up to the
top of the city hall

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and dump that bomb down.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yes or no?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, you know, that really
sounds great but, uh,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}we're talking about a
well-armed place here.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Can you do this job or not?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, how many
guards are there?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Just two.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}See, just two at the gate.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I don't know.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}There must be more guards
inside those buildings.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It would sure help to
keep those guards' attention

{\a1\pos(96,460)}away from the roof
of that building.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've got an idea.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What a great idea,
Miss Max Fly.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Her name's Maria.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}She could keep
the guards' attention

{\a1\pos(96,460)}away from the roof
of the building.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}She'll help us.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}She's an ex-junkie.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}She's gone to prison a
little over six months.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You've all probably seen
her pictures in a magazine.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}In Purge World.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She's a top model.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That's why they shoot
her in mall parking lots.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're so beautiful.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She's bouncing on
Alan Hale's stomach.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Move to your left,
just a little bit.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Great, great!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Lemme see, shake your head out,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}shake your head.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hi, teach!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, hello Trish.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}How are you today?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}No school, I'm cool.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey teach, is that
Michelle Wilson?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}She sucks.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Uh, yes it is, excuse us.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}She rejected me, I'm
gonna go use drugs.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We will, like, bury you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I wonder where Maria is.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Singing with the Von Trapp's.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Terri, are you sure
we can trust her?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm positive, look, you
girls gotta learn how-

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hi, everybody.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I trust her.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(306,460)}See?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This is Elaine Brenner,
she's a friend of mine.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}She helped me when I needed her,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and boy, we could
sure use her help now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She's flat, but I
think we can trust her.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Maria told me about your plan.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I think it might be successful.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I interrupted my
perm to come here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It'd be worth the attempt.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I don't think we
really need your help.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Let's listen to her, Terri.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Maria told me about this.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've been guarding
the one potato two

{\a1\pos(117,460)}for about a week now.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're April, right?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What's your plan?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Who's your daddy?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're gonna drop a
bomb down the chimney

{\a1\pos(96,460)}of that building.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And then drugs will be gone.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That's a nice idea,
but it's not a plan.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I mis-emphasize words.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Where's this compound located?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}When the time comes, I'll
show you all where it is.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}If that's the way you
want it, that's alright.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now let's assume that these--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Are baked beans.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}are the three buildings.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Watch the lady,
watch the lady.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}This is our target,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Don't spill my fish balls.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and this is the main gate.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Okay.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Maria gets the
guard's attention, here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You, shine your love.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}April and Keiko,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}cut through the wire and get
to the roof of this building.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Who here speaks German?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Michelle, Terri and myself--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Shave our heads
and get to Brussels.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Bust through the main gate.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We'll need a heavy
duty van or a truck

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to hit that gate.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's no problem,
I'll buy us anything we need.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And I can fix up a
van so it'll blast

{\a1\pos(54,460)}through any gate and nobody
will be able to stop us.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Alright, I think it's great!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Kill her.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Trish, what are
you doing here?!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, I heard you ask
Maria for help and--

{\a1\pos(54,460)}This is no place for a kid.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I can help.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And it's extra credit.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Besides, I know what you
guys are planning to do and--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Are you trying
to blackmail us?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}No, but I can
help around here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}ook, look, I'll put things away,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and I can help with the meals.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Suddenly I'm
thirsty for a Seven.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}So what do you think?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Not enough deep shag.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I don't know.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}This happened on
Designing Women once.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}What do you think, Terri?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, don't worry.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}When I get through
with this thing,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}it'll be fantastic.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Right on, Willona.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, howdy girls, shall
I gasoline her up for ya?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, mercy mercy
says Mrs. Percy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You girls are as pretty as
a creek full of catfish.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, it's that old
bastard from the TV.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You need this van.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I can make you a deal as sure
as a goose goes barefooted.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now all you gotta do is
put a little down payment,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and the paltry sum of
$12,673.88,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}it's all yours.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Just as it stands.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, maybe we could
make a deal about the $73.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Hey, you're the pick of the
litter, did you know that?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Then how about the 88 cents?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ow, my artificial hip!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, hold it there.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hi-Ya!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You girls sure
do cover a vehicle.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You jump around,
it's like a rooster

{\a1\pos(12,460)}going through a henhouse.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Never mind about the
trading stamp's tax,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}just mail the title to
the address on the check.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Alright, it's ours.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Let's go, girls.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The check.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Wait, I've got more
barnyard analogies.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hold it there, the check!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Uh, wait, girls!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I have to circle
your phone number

{\a1\pos(117,460)}before you can leave.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Hey, it has to be verified!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}For more information on
the Patt Buttrum Fan Club.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}This is made out
to Gabby Hayes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They'll recall the
van back to the factory

{\a1\pos(96,460)}in a few weeks anyways.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Olympia Dukakis,
ladies and gentlemen.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(theme music)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Look at this.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}They can get,
"All My Children".

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughing)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's the Charlene
Tilton channel.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}What's the cross for?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}A little surprise for
anybody following us.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You see that bazooka?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I like this.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sometime's a bazooka
is just a bazooka.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}This is really nice.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Just push that button,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and whoever was following us,

{\a1\pos(285,460)}boom!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ain't no more.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Plus it's got
neat pop holders.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}This is really neat.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I mean, really!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Uh oh, you forgot
the battering ram.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We've gotta bust through the
main gate of the compound.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's just a big
hotel ice maker.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's all built in,
3 or 4 inches steel.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}She'll take any
gate and a lot more.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We've gotta do one more
thing before we destroy

{\a1\pos(12,460)}that processing compound.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Everybody go potty.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh no, what did I forget?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We've gotta lay our hands
on some heavy ammunition

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to arm this baby.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There's a bunch of
right-wing military fanatics

{\a1\pos(138,460)}that headquarter out
in Ventura County.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}They've got an organization
called "The American Right".

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Headed by Newt Gingrich.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}They've got an arsenal there.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}They're prepared to
start World War Three.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}If we're gonna
steal their guns,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}we'd better check it out first.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Like I always tell my students,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Preparation is
the key to an A+"

{\a1\pos(99,460)}I'll go down and snoop
around as a potential member.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Eww!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's not good Elaine,
they might recognize a cop.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, how about me?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I could tell them,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I wish to make a big donation

{\a1\pos(117,460)}from my poor deceased
husband's estate.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(sighs)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'll shake my bod a little.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Then we'll get all the
ammunition we need.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Okay, and to make this work,
I'll go as your chauffeur.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Just in case
there's any trouble.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Trouble?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But we're pretty.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Do you think there
might be some trouble?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh no, you can handle it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Just put the mason brass
knuckles in your purse.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Can't they just
buy some ammunition?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, I never go
anywhere without them.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That's mousse.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And we'll be close
by, just in case.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And I can climb through
a window or something.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Not that it'll help.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Or you can stand by
the phone in the garage,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}in case of any emergency.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughing)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I never get to
do any of this stuff.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Wa-ya-hi-ya!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, it's Glenn
Russell's house.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You and your date
will be chauffeured

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to exotic Centerville,
Minnesota.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Here comes the Prime
Minister of Greece.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}She must be engaged
to Sean Penn.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Look at that, Stanley.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She's getting more
and more Tina Louise-y.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Wheezy.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Mrs. Hildago
Campbell, of Houston.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You were expected,
Mrs. Campbell.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Step right this way.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We're going to prom.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She's an arachnid.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Blegh.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Hired help must wait outside.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}If you don't mind, I'll
go with Mrs. Campbell.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You better step aside.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've given fair warning.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}Now now, dear,
you'll do as you're told.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No more, no less.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ah yes, yes, yes, yes,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Uh, welcome, welcome,
Ms. Campbell.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Delighted to make
your acquaintance.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I am commander Lindsey March.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Commander of the American Right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yes, the pleasure will
be all mine, I'm sure.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Jim Backus is
John Phillips Sousa.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, you lovely ladies
and your lovely rings.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}How many of those are
load bearing straps?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, there's seems to be some
problem about my chauffeur.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Well we have very tight
security here, if you know it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We must all follow
the same rules.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Do you understand?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, yes I do and
I am quite pleased.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Perhaps I should
inspect your security?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I mean, before I'm to
make any big donation.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well, my late husband always
taught me to be very cautious.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Very wise, very wise
of your late husband.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}How did he come
to his sorry end?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He got swine flu.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, in the saddle I'm afraid.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, what a way to
go, in the saddle?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yes he was, um,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}thrown from his favorite horse.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh how tragic,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}would you care to--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Finish my sentence.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}With my chauffeur?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}With your chauffeur?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well no, perhaps we better make
a tour of the grounds first.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Would you please, Sergeant!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}This was Jim Backus'
first film after he died.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I didn't know that.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Clean up this
mess immediately.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yes sir, right away sir!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Insubordination.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}These survivalists couldn't
survive a grape embargo.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I want to take you on
the tour of the facilities

{\a1\pos(96,460)}since you're here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's going to be
the parade ground

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and the barracks
are way past there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Then we have livestock.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I intend this
entire establishment

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to be self-sustaining.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I was hoping to
never see Jim Backus

{\a1\pos(138,460)}in thigh high boots.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}And here's where we grow dirt.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Its Knight Rider, for moms!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}So Jim Backus runs
a trout hatchery?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}And we're thinking of starting

{\a1\pos(117,460)}a fascist petting zoo!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}If only poor Jim
had gotten residuals

{\a1\pos(96,460)}from Gilligan's Island.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yup.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And Mrs. Campbell,
you will find that your very

{\a1\pos(117,460)}generous contributions
will put to very good use.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Everything, of course,
is legal

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and all our properties
are sacrosanct

{\a1\pos(201,460)}under the law.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Don't you know.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Excellent.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And you have no fear of
criminal elements attempting

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to steal your supplies?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, none whatsoever, my
men are more than equal

{\a1\pos(222,460)}to the task,
as you can see.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}This scene was
totally improvised.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The Hudson brothers were
funnier than these guys.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Where do you want me to
put this, commander, sir?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Just put it down,
will you Sergeant?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(crashes)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}John Irving as Adolph
Hitler in "The Bay".

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Perhaps you'd come in here
and I could offer you a drink?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, no thank you,
Commander March,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}but I am running a little late.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We'll have to conclude
our business another time.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Come on, Terri.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I hope the problem with
your servant hasn't uh--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Tell you what,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}let's you and me
shake and make up.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Only out of respect
for your beautiful

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and generous employer.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(knuckles cracking)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You know, who couldn't
do that to Jim Backus?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Terri, why don't you stop?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We'll come back later.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You have my promise.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}You know, now I
appreciate the quiet dignity

{\a1\pos(33,460)}of Pat Buttram's performance.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Help me up, will you?!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Respect the uniform!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm just gonna look away

{\a1\pos(33,460)}until the funny part is over.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, I understand it took
hours to get this shot.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughing)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(theme music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Uh, let's see, do
you have any fives?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Fives, fives,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}uh, nope.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}No fives.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Hey you guys, check it out.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Ayyyy!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Uh, huh?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Uh, hold that thought, Mike.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Whoa.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hey.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Ayyy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Fire in the hole!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(explosion)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}So, any jacks?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Uh, no,

{\a1\pos(264,460)}go fish.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(alarm sounds)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, movie sign.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(doors open)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Sorry we had to
destroy you, Mike.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You understand.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}I do.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You know, I'm starting to root

{\a1\pos(138,460)}for the drug dealers
in this movie.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}"Sto", "Sto" or I'll "shoo".

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Get them!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Look everyone,
I made a potty.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Full speed, full speed ahead!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'll be there with you,
your fearless leader.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Circus of the B-movie stars.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm coming, you hear me?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Never fear, men, never fear,
the commander is here!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Who's got the key?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You've got the key!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've got the key?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Uh, here, hold this.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I've got the key, there you are.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'd rather spend a weekend

{\a1\pos(54,460)}in Robert Bork's underpants,
than watch more of this.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Boy, when Jim Backus turns
on the funny meter, huh?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Unlock the gate!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Could those brightly
lit tight white jumpsuits

{\a1\pos(12,460)}deeply decolletaged women

{\a1\pos(33,460)}have anything to do with this?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(yelling)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Still it's all
going much smoother

{\a1\pos(12,460)}than the Bay of Pigs operation.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Suddenly, Allan
Hale felt much better

{\a1\pos(117,460)}about his performance.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}After them, after
them, get the guns!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}So Jim Backus is the
god of wine, right?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I believe this
Tom Clancy novel

{\a1\pos(117,460)}really loses something
in the film version.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Lovey!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Women, and they're
fully boobed.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hold it, gentlemen.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Get over there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}In the name of
Natalie Schafer,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}you're all under arrest.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The Apollo astronauts.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Wait a minute, that
turkey's all mine.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Miss Jane Pittman
in striking distance.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ow!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(crash)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, an Owen Thompson home.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughing)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Jimbo, I'll be a
man for you, Jimbo.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And Jim Backus gracefully
closes his career.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(gun fires)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}The Five Mrs.
Buchanan's on a rampage.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(gun fires)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}My Snapple!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'm the NRA and it's fun!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The Marines have landed!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And it didn't take
us any four months

{\a1\pos(96,460)}of police officer
training either.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, but it didn't take
you three months of learning

{\a1\pos(12,460)}how to march in a straight line.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Eh, its hard to
follow Jim Backus.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Elaine, can I please?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Please, lemme try, come on!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Well, yeah,

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Please?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Okay, we'll give
you a chance to act.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}This is the same gun I used
to shoot my Phy Ed. teacher.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Can I fire now?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Fox Force Five.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Ready. Aim.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Pull.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Fire!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(gun fires)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Why does it jump if I-

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Be careful!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You ruined my pedicure.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}My period.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'd better go
after her, poor kid.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No Michelle, I'll do it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'll bring her back here and

{\a1\pos(138,460)}really teach her how
to fire this thing.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Even if it kills me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}God, she's so thin.
I hate her.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well, I think we're ready to
hit the processing compound.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Van's ready, so am I.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Uh, I'm afraid we
may be a little late.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There's word going
around the school

{\a1\pos(12,460)}that the shipment's about
to hit the street any day.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Why didn't you say something?!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}That was the whole point!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We should hit it before
it gets on the street.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}If we don't stop
that shipment,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}that poison will
be hooking kids.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Let's stop it then.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Alright, I agree, but how?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We don't even know where
the shipment's coming in.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And we need our hot rollers.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I know a guy that can tell us.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Marjoe Gortner?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Go ahead on seven,
tight pants.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(snickers)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, the oil embargo

{\a1\pos(96,460)}is going to affect
his shirt supply.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Geeze, you need orangutan arms

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to reach the gas cap.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hi, do you know where
we can score some gas?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hey!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Sticks, baby!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Where you been?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Where'd you get this machine?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey Cheech, man!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Tell you what, you outta
come inside and have a look.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}What you got in there?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, why don't
you come in and see?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hi, Stick.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Hey, what you got in there?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}She beat me up
in her Chevy van,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and that's alright with me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, he's having a baby.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}What a lovely way for him
to say how much he loves me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Before we start
between his legs,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}let's ask him one more time.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Tell us the exact
location of the next pickup,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}pusher man.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Cookie man!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}What pickup?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I don't know anything
about a pickup.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Scum like you have
been poisoning kids.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Come on, I never
poisoned anyone,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}just put me down,
come on girls.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Maybe you don't
think we're serious.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Right here, Keiko.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}No, come on!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}These are my Chess King pants!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}This is the guy
that hooked me,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}so don't be too careful.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}This is a tough fourth step.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come on baby, you
know I always liked you.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}No, no!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's Dworkin Fest 78'

{\a1\pos(138,460)}These kids just love
genital mutilation.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Okay, okay, I'll tell you,
just let me down, alright?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Just let me down!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Alright, pusher man.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}When? Where? And how?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I can't even think straight.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Just let me down on
my feet I'll tell ya!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Need a little more persuasion.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It's a wonton,
unauthorized bris.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}No come on, you win!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They're revoking
his member-ship.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(swords hit)

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ooh!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Wow!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}(gasp)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Meanwhile, on the
beaches of Scotland.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yay.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Whoopee.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Professional beach
volleyball wasn't that good

{\a1\pos(96,460)}in the early days.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Maybe Sticks lied to us.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I don't see
anything out there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Who could see
anything in this fog?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Darn it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, he said
this was the place.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}With the helpful hardware man.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Where the buoys are.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh please.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That'd be a pretty
good trick, Billy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Since your line is tied
to a buoy out there

{\a1\pos(54,460)}in the middle of the ocean.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Don't rob me of my joy, Joe.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Idiot.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey Joe, look,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}we've got company.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Can't those chicks read?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We put a sign up.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Private beach.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, they ain't half bad.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Let 'em stay, what can it hurt?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You wanna tell the boss that?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Springsteen?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh yeah, I see what you mean.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Billy, go get rid of them!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I don't care how you do it,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}but get rid of them, understand?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'll keep looking for the drop.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Here, hold this ,will ya?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Will you put that
down? Right now!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ooh, he's got
crotchless waders on.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Looks like this could be fun.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Them chicks might
just get lucky.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What did you say?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Nothing.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Alright!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I have to go shower now.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I understand.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I just can't wait
for the outtakes

{\a1\pos(96,460)}at the end of the movie.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You know what
this scene needs?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Eddie Deezen.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Ah ha!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, yeah!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Should we open the chicken?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What do you think?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Um, I don't.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Look, someone's coming.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Uh, pardon me ladies,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but uh, see this sign?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Private beach.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It says right here.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}"P-R-I",

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well you got your "pri",

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"V-A-T-E",

{\a1\pos(12,460)}there you got your "vate".

{\a1\pos(120,460)}Finally, someone Jim
Varney can feel superior to.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, okay, so they
spelled it wrong,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but the point is, this
is a private beach,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and you're gonna have
to get your privates

{\a1\pos(222,460)}outta here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Show 'em the wiener.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We're sorry, we just
want to be by ourselves

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and get some sun.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Sun?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There ain't no sun
in this weather.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well, we wanna get some fog.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Would you like to
get some with us?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}What do you think about that?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You play basketball?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, this is offending
one-celled animals.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}I'm sorry girls, but
they're gonna have to leave.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I mean, they're all
gonna have to leave.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Sandy Hackett,
ladies and gentlemen.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You're right, there's no sun.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}So why don't you bring
your friend over here,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and we'll all have
some fun in the fog.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We'll provide you with sex,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}which is something
that men like.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I just can't right now.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Aw, come on.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Look this is a private
beach and you're really--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}My ass itches.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm sorry.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Fishing can't be that
much fun now, can it?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Wait Miss, you
don't understand,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Just shut up and
take your clothes off.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}This doesn't do it for me

{\a1\pos(96,460)}like that similar scene
in "The Violent Years".

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yeah, director
doesn't have Ed Wood's

{\a1\pos(12,460)}passion for this kinda material.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You really want me
bad, don't ya, baby?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey that's cool,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}if you girls can't
leave without me--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(gagging)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, Robert Reich is sailing.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Nice day!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Don't do that!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I bet the phrase
"Where's my cocaine"

{\a1\pos(33,460)}was heard a lot on this film.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Looks like your friend
caught more than fish!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, that ignorant...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}But no use him
having all the fun.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We've got plenty to share.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We have additional
sex for you also.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Focus on the buoy,
just focus on the buoy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(groaning)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I hope those are stunt tongues.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}They're eating his brain!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ohuh, this is
your brain on sex,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}any questions?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Well.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Why not, I can't see a
thing out of these anyways.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}But only for a
few minutes, okay?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Sure, that's long enough.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, he's inflated his chest

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to impress the females.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Gonna get medieval on his ass.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You really know
how to follow orders,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}don't you, Billy?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(muffled protests)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What did you say?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oil can, oil can!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}All right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Thought you'd keep all
this to yourself, huh?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(muffled speech)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now girls, I don't
have a lot of time.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Get your clothes off.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}All right, well,
I have to warn you

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I have an elaborate
network of trestles.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, what is this?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Just drop your pants, stud.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And start talking.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now what about that shipment?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Shipment of pants?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I don't know any
shipment of pants.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Does this mean the date's off?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(imitates comedic bassline)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ah, smugglers
alerted their contacts

{\a1\pos(54,460)}by wearing really dumb hats.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I still like this better
than the Blue Lagoon.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Send...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}acting coach.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}C and H, pure cane sugar

{\a1\pos(222,460)}from Hawaii.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It's the Mario
Hemingway boatlift.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}They're gonna do it!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh good, oh good.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Get up on the rock!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The survivors of
the Achille Dora

{\a1\pos(33,460)}have made it around the buoy,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but here come the
survivors of the Titanic

{\a1\pos(54,460)}looking very good coming on.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They wanted Bob
Denver for this role.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Get on the rock!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Okay, oh good.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Pull!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I am, I'm pulling,
I'm pulling!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Harder!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Okay, okay.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It took 20 guys
to drop that off?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'm pulling, I'm pulling!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}What kind of lure do you use

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to catch cocaine?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}A spoon?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Meanwhile, Richard
Nixon's wasting millions

{\a1\pos(96,460)}on the Glomar Explorer.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm pulling, I'm
pulling, wait, wait.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The Kamoa that fell
from grace with the sea.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We got it, we got it!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}This could be a
light tackle record!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We got it, we got it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's stuck, hold on.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh no.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We got it, we got it!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Okay, okay.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}My hair, damnit, Brooke!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Quick, pretend
you're Sean Phillips!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(groaning)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It's that fella that did 'em!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hurry, hurry!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Jane Campion's
"The Piano Stool".

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(murmuring)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Get out of here!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay, okay, be careful.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Come on, quick!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}As fast as you can!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Okay, okay!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Come on, move!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Yummy yummy, a
digga-digga boom boom

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ Digga-digga flavor oceans

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hurry!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}They're getting close!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Did they row all
the way from Columbia

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to drop off the drugs?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This is straight out of

{\a1\pos(117,460)}the Bradys in Hawaii.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The Mommies, an
action-packed adventure.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}D-cup day.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm sure Gidget's
tied up in this somehow.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}At least the weather

{\a1\pos(33,460)}cleared up instantly for them.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Okay, sister, drop it!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'm so sure.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I got the merchandise.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(screaming)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Mrs. Paul and Long John Silver

{\a1\pos(12,460)}in a battle to the death.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(grunting)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you, Nair,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}for making this fight possible.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}More Jackie O
than Jackie Chan.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh my back!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh woopsie daisy,
are you okay?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Why it's Max Padkin,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}the clown prince of baseball.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey that's my womb!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Try this nightie on.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(grunting)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Scenes cut from
The Longest Day.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Right now Bennie Hill

{\a1\pos(54,460)}is smiling down from heaven.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughing)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I wonder what's in
those boats over there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I don't know, let's go.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}By going, we'll find
out what's in them!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}These would look so
cute in the bathroom!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(oohing)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}They are gonna get so high.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}In response to
the energy crisis,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Cadillac produces
this new subcompact.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(singing)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm Lyle Waggoner,
may I help you?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Somebody's dad is in there.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Is that a Sears 12-piece suit,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}or is it from the Johnny
Carson collection?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Welcome back to
jail, Mr. Goddy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You know you're old
when you got curb feelers

{\a1\pos(222,460)}in your car.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Police discovered eight
men bound and gagged

{\a1\pos(138,460)}at the beach today.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Evidence of narcotics
was discovered

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and the men are being held--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You're listening
to K-Plot.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(dog barking)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Dad, Jethro's down

{\a1\pos(117,460)}in the sea men pound.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}They're listening to

{\a1\pos(12,460)}one of those nature tapes.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Peter Lawford's got
Christie McNickel hair.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Release Baby.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(snaps fingers)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey Mike, I bet that's you

{\a1\pos(138,460)}in high school, huh?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You're not far off, my friend.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The doberman gang

{\a1\pos(96,460)}in a one-man show.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(whispering)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It's Englebert Humperdinck.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}He's gonna sing him to
sleep after the lovin'.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I crap bigger than you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Maybe these are
his Kibbles and Bits.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(snaps fingers)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's telling me
to kill my parents.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You think Peter has
any idea where he is?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, come on.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know I'm lactose intolerant.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(snaps fingers)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ah, maybe one, then
the Stairmaster.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Can I have
another Buttermints?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Control, Mike.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's all control.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And we're all beasts
in the same jungle.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Sometimes we
eat our own vomit.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We lose control, we're lost.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Uh-huh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And incontinent.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}See, Baby here,
he loves me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}But if I lost control
of him for one instant,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}he'd tear my throat out.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}But he's great with kids.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Do you understand me?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'll take care of things,
just like we agreed,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but I can't conrol
these junkie gangs.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Mike, control is
the key of life.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We have to control everything,
or we will be controlled.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Control (mutters)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now if you can't do the job--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh come on now,
you know I can do it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I've been contolling
things for years.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We both made a lot of money.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now try to clean this mess up.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, it's your dog.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'd hate to have
to do it myself.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Can you borrow me
some swim trunks?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I can't believe I drove

{\a1\pos(33,460)}all the way up here for this.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}If you're going to
wake me up this early,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}you got to expect me to drink.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(theme music)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, hey, hey,
what are you doing?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Now they're gonna force him

{\a1\pos(138,460)}to fix their tranny.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I told you everything
you wanted to know!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I can't tell you
any more, I swear!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's all I know.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I swear I don't know any more!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I told you all of it!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Please, you can't kill me!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Maybe we should
give him a chance.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yes, yes!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That was incredible.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Maybe Keiko's right.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Maybe we should give
him another chance.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay, we'll vote on it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Everybody take a full
and an empty cartridge.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I like the thumb voting.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Full round means death.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Empty cartridge
means second chance.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And sha la la la
means I love you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Kind of an NRA
voting procedure.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Chuck Heston kind of voting.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You too, Trish.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I want to go to the mall.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Give us Jim Backus!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Pygmalion.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Six empty, one full.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Majority rules.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It's a bad day at Tires Plus.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Okay, Sticks, you've been
missing for over two days now.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And your friends are bound
to figure you had a part

{\a1\pos(180,460)}in hitting that
shipment at the beach.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And don't go turning
on any more kids

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to anything anywhere.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}'Cause we'll find out,
and we'll come after you

{\a1\pos(96,460)}no matter where you are.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I swear, I'm never
pushing stuff again.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Can I have my weiner back?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}All right.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm tired of looking at him.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Let's get him out of here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This is a full-service
station, huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay, clean him up

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and tell the owner he's ready.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yeah, ride!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Riding like the dude when
you drive to your dreams.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(muttering)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Mom! Mom!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}A bunch of girls took my
drugs and snagged on me!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}How will I make it on my own?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The Cronas Quartet
live on this block

{\a1\pos(96,460)}with Bartok, apparently.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I was lucky to get a space.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Draw.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm leaving you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I just want to talk to you!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I've arranged
counselling for you

{\a1\pos(96,460)}at the members' center!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm William Katt
for Samsonite.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}H-I-S by Chick.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's locked!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, he should have learned

{\a1\pos(96,460)}his own apartment
complex better.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(panting)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh my God, my
heart's gonna explode.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Damn you, gated communities!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, I'll ask
the fellow in here

{\a1\pos(12,460)}if he knows where that guy went.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(grunts)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You are the most
childish drug kingpin

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I've ever hired.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, your bag is too big

{\a1\pos(201,460)}to fit in the
overhead compartment,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'll have to ask
you to check it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We tout tradition.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We are like drugdealer
on the roof!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Underalls for men.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Ding, ding.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}My suit still looks great.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This was filmed on
location, you know.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We continue now with

{\a1\pos(54,460)}international hide-and-seek!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Look, just take A
Watchtower and read it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Did you borrow my good
tie, the Countess Mara?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Look.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Just take is easy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}All I want to do is talk to you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Listen, get out of my way!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I have to crouch
by that other spot.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Get out of my way!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Don't try it, kid.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Listen, come on!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, wait!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(yells)

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh oh!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh the whole building just
lost The Price is Right.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Help! Help me!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Help me up!
Please help me!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Jeez, he might
fall a whole 12 feet.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}All right, I'll help you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}First you gotta help me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You got me into a lot of
trouble with the big boss.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Tell me where you've
been the last few days

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and who hit one
of our shipments.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Help, help me up!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Pull me up!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}No, no, tell me right now.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}What?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Just please, pull me up!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Tell me!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Boy, he's had to
answer a lot of questions

{\a1\pos(138,460)}under duress lately

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Please, help me!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Help!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(yells)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He should die for
those pants alone.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(crashes)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ooh, sorry ma'am.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, that's okay.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Wonder if I could
sunbathe nude up here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}So now you know what kind of

{\a1\pos(138,460)}creeps we're dealing
with and why

{\a1\pos(138,460)}a nice schoolteacher
like me is trying

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to blow up the building.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}That was a long flashback.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, okay, wait, wait.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Wait!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Correct-All made
this jump possible.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(cheering)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}So they just destroyed

{\a1\pos(54,460)}all the drugs in the world?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Huh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Are we hot or is it just us?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We killed lots of
people (mock laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Richard Farnsworth
is out for justice.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(explosion)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}My Charlie Daniels
t-shirt is in there!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}That was some hot chili, whew!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}So much for the historic
registration designation.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Woo-wee.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Wait a minute,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}this is a lot like
Charlie's Angels!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hey!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh gee, I thought I dropped
a bomb in there, but wow.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Thank you, Metamucil.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(excitedly chattering)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Did you see the
Jen was dressed

{\a1\pos(180,460)}duing the raid?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I mean, really?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Hi, Carrie!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The war on drugs
was never sexier.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Girls, we've got company.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Get out the good linen.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They're gonna get
our little surprise.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, I just speed-dialed
my manicurist.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(blast)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh jeez, it was just
the Johnson family

{\a1\pos(201,460)}going to mass.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, now how will the kids

{\a1\pos(117,460)}get to band practice?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(singing)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(murmurs)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}All right, I'm
gettin' out of here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'm digesting
my food right now!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hal Needen's golddiggers

{\a1\pos(33,460)}are off to another adventure.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}And now, ladies and gentlemen,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the reason this movie was made.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Did you guys see
this girl on her bike?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That was neat.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You weren't so
bad yourself, girl.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}All of us were great!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, where's April?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}In Paris.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I thought beating
the druglords

{\a1\pos(201,460)}would be more
fulflling than this.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(whistling)

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Why not?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Acting lessons
are a good idea.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}We're a team,
a darn good team.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We did it once,
we can do it again!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(mechanical whirring)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Some say love

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Steve!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Mike!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What's happening?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What's going on?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(screaming)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What the-
Cambot,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}get me rocket number nine!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It's Aaron Spelling's house.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Shh, don't disturb it,
it might charge.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Majestic, yet graceful.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Wow, this could take a while.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I feel so insignificant.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We'll be right back.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(theme music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Wow.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Big.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Good morning.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I got a message you
wanted to see me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh my God, you're nude.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Ah, that's a
pic-ah-so, isn't it?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, that's, uh,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that's beautiful.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's got a
wonderful other-ness.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's like Picasso
with the funny eye,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and that rose, that's, uh...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You're gonna kill
me, aren't you?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I guess you're waiting
to hear that I got

{\a1\pos(54,460)}the broads that hit us, huh?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Got the bras that fit us?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Our processing plant
completely destroyed?

{\a1\pos(99,460)}Better than 10 million
dollars worth of good product

{\a1\pos(201,460)}down the tube.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Sinatra won't talk to me.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Very frustrating, Mr. Farrell.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Very frustrating.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Very, very frustrating.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I talked to you
before about control.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Control, control.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}What plans do you have to
control this situation now?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, look, actually I was
on the way out to the compound,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I thought that maybe I could
find some evidence, you know?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}About who, you know...

{\a1\pos(33,460)}They cut the wires with these.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ah, Snap-On, yes.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Got a lifetime
guarantee, you know,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}a very good tool this is.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I can have these checked
out for fingerprints.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You're late again.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Some dumb school teacher.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, now our educational system

{\a1\pos(117,460)}isn't perfect, but...

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, she was my
teacher, she's hard.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}At least Jack
got in a good one

{\a1\pos(180,460)}before he left.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It's not my fault JFK stayed

{\a1\pos(96,460)}at Crosby's house.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}She got that at the fair.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Okay, don't forget to study

{\a1\pos(117,460)}for the test tomorrow.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What test?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, it's not gonna be hard.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It's about killing drug lords.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Teacher's pet.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I want to be teacher's pet.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You'll pass if you're lucky.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh yeah, maybe.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, bye teach.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Be careful.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Don't tell anybody about
the people we killed.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(singing)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I think it would be
fun to waste a pusher.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Miss?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}May I speak to you
for a moment, please?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's about my report card.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}What can I do for you?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}What's this incomplete crap?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You're Miss Thomas, right?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I would like to talk to
you about my nephew, he's...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Jonesin' real bad.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Got a little trouble.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're his teacher,
I understand.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh sure, I have a few moments.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What's his name?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You broads really think that

{\a1\pos(12,460)}you can get away with this, huh?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well that's a weird name.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Hey, no fair fake-hitting me.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Damn, I forgot
you were a commando.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You sure it's Miss
Thomas's picture?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's right, I saw it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, don't you
want to make out?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hm.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You are now on six
days' detention, mister.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh do, do, oh, you got a saw?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Trish, I'm so
glad you came back.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Come over here and help me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}No, no, get to a
phone and call the girls,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}tell them I'm bringing
him in for a confession

{\a1\pos(117,460)}so we can find out who
the real bigshot is.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Just like we did Sticks.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}This time I'm gonna
use that big sword.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hurry and go before
we're discovered,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and I'll meet you
back at headquarters.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's so cool that
we got a headquarters.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(singing)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, Dick Turden's ugly.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well yeah, she's
turning in the car now

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and she's bringing him in.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, well, we'll
stay there and, and,

{\a1\pos(285,460)}oh no.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Her left front tire is low!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}He's got her!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's got April!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This looks like a
job for Girl Woman.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Trish, Trish, wait!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The phone comitted suicide.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Trish, wait a minute!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}This world is awfully big.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Girl, this time I'm on my own.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}With each glance and
every little movement

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I know it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Mrs. Breaking Away.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm on a cycling
tour of North Cornwall.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Wait here, Black Beauty.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, she's on a date.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(gasping)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(singing)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Hey mister, you're dragging

{\a1\pos(117,460)}your high school girl!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's got a dent.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Good thing she
has suction cups

{\a1\pos(180,460)}on her fingers.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}This all works fine 'til they

{\a1\pos(138,460)}go to the car wash.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, I think she
loves me so what am I

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(yawns)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(imitating dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Did I lock my bike?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, help.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I really think taking
the 105 would be faster.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}If he drops her on
that part of the road

{\a1\pos(96,460)}it's a $500 fine.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Do you think that's
a stunt person?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}No, it's Marnie Nixon.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh shoot, I'll have to roll

{\a1\pos(138,460)}the rest of the way.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You see, this is
why getting a bus pass

{\a1\pos(180,460)}is a good idea.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, my bone is
sticking through my leg-

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, an agate.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Damnit.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Janet.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}She's gotta call back.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}She's got to.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Maybe if we stare at
the phone really hard.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What are you guys doing?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let's see you swim with
this on your leg, baby.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It would be less incriminating

{\a1\pos(12,460)}if they threw her in the river.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Huh, huh?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, oh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Not the Hamilton Beach!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's the cover of
the Nirvana album.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(gasping)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, it's a fiendish plot

{\a1\pos(12,460)}to ruin her hair with chlorine.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Couldn't we have thrown her

{\a1\pos(117,460)}in the deep end, boss?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The common sophomore

{\a1\pos(96,460)}blends easily into
its surroundings.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hot shrub action.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Running, running,
running, running

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ She's running,
running, running

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ And running and running and

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Running, she's
really, really running

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ She's running, she's running

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you, yes.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ And running

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Wow, she's easily discouraged.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You'e a fumbling fool.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}But you look good in a Speedo.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Fear of death is
the quickest way.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Just watch and learn.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's a wet teacher
contest (laughs)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Running and running,
now she's running

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ And look, she's
running down the hill

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ And she's running and
running and running

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(sighs) Can I have
permission to hit him?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ And running and running

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ And she's really,
really running

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Mom, can you pick me up?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm done with play practice.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(phone rings)

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I got it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Stay out of sight
'til we get there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're on our way.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Arthur Godfrey's in trouble!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(gasping)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}They're drowning Cousin It.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, Miss.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Miss, this is really
getting quite silly.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And I'm running out of patience.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Really?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm having a good time!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Just give us the
names of the others!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm the...
I did it myself.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I did it all myself.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Teacher has it in for me, man.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Stop, stop!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You're driving
over my hopscotch!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Running and running

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Up the hill.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Did you see any guards?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Two at the gate.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Let's get 'em.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Come on, Keiko.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Sports bar waitresses
to the rescue!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Having the headquarters
on Pike's Peak

{\a1\pos(96,460)}is kind of a pain.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(whispering)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You know, a lot of people say

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I look like Fred Willard.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Don't touch my
Kiana, it'll snag.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}If you hunch over,
people can't see you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}In study hall there's
this really cute guy.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We work well together, Vito.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, psst.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(groans)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(grunts)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Owie, ouch, ouch,
owie, ow, ow, ouch.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Don't watch the
jiggling, honey.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Killing, and
killing, and dying.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}All right, Trish,
you wait here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I, I, I, uh, I
forgot how to talk.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh darn.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(theme music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This is kind of a light
motif of this movie.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Park far away and run to
the scene of the caper.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Can't get this helmet on.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh God, it's my Aunt Thelma.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hold it!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hyack!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's the pool
cleaning guy, oh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(gunfire)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(groans)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}My rascal bark chow-chow

{\a1\pos(33,460)}the drat drilled his knickers.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Baby!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I will want you!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(dog barking)

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hyah!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}He didn't count on her

{\a1\pos(96,460)}having a way with pets.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(whimpering)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Freeze, sweetheart!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(gunfire)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Eat lead, Freddy Prinz!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(mumbles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(gunfire)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I just remembered, Dr.
Quinn, Medicine Woman is on.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And Mark Spitz wins
another gold medal

{\a1\pos(33,460)}in the jean jacket freestyle.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ya!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ya!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, now she's having a
Sherman Oaks flashback.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(muttering)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I hurt my pants!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(bike roaring)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Would you quit following me?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(gunfire)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Jim Henson!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hi, ho!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Peter's parties are nuts, man.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I regret nothing!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Greg Louganis
goes motorcycling!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(intense music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hell's Angels on wheels,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}starring Esther Williams.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}What's with the Philip Glass?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Aw, what a touching
underwater love scene.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Yeah, yeah I can see

{\a1\pos(96,460)}why she needed the
motorcycle to do this.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Say, neo-Gothic, really nice.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(gunfire)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What do you do?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Shoot the hostage.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(whimpering)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Lady Blue.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Susan, what are you doing?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Easy, it's all right now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You're all right.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Take it easy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Are you all right?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You just bought
a one-way ticket

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to the (gunfire) ooh!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(grunts)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}The sensibly dressed commando.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Is everybody all right?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Is everyone okay?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Here, let me help you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Would you like
a glass of water?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Keiko, are you all right?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, yeah I'm all right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Kelsey Grammar was
supposed to meet me here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(singing)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ French stuff, French stuff

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ah, that booze
really refreshed me.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Plink, plink, plink, plink.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Plink, plink,
plink, plink, plink.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ah, switching strategies.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}He's going into the wine cellar.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Cheryl Ladd is
woefully miscast

{\a1\pos(12,460)}in the Will Mogedal story.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(murmuring)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}All right, paper boy,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}if you miss the porch
one more time...

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Okay, here's the plan.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Everyone get home and
condition, right now.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}(yelp)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}All over, ladies.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Just relax and don't
make any sudden moves.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Guess what, Randy kissed me!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(gunfire)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(screams)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Drop it, mister!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'll take that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Would this be a bad
time to ask you out?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You guys go check on Trish.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'll tell you what,
I'll call Miller.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}He'll take care of everything.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hold it!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Who's got a corkscrew?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}One minute.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Let's tie him up with this.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now the bad guys
are constantly

{\a1\pos(54,460)}being rewarded in this film.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Get in there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He's not going anywhere.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yes he is, you
locked him outside.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(dog barking)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh no, he saw City Slickers 2.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(mumbles)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They're overcome
with mild concern.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You, drop your guns,
get down here.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, they got a hot dog stand

{\a1\pos(96,460)}right there by the pool.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}All right, you girls
did a pretty good job.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(imitates slurred speech)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}But you didn't
quite have the control

{\a1\pos(138,460)}you thought you had.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Control.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I learned a long time ago

{\a1\pos(180,460)}to eliminate any
possible (gunfire)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(gasping)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(grunting)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I may have been shot.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(gasps)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Shoot, now I'm sober.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}By this time my lungs
were aching from booze.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You wanna skim

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the Peter Lawford off your pool.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Trish!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You better go
study for your test!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Trish, are you all right?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Did I do all right?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Am I one of the seven now?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yes, little Trish,
you're one of us.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hang on.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Don't worry, Hewitt can't
kill one of the seven.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}She is so
delusional right now.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}As Lucretia MacEvil.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}As thank you,
Mr. Eddie's father.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}As the plain,
unremarkable one.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Died in Vietnam.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}As Lorraine Newman.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}As Greg Allman.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}As J. Edgar Hoover.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(disco music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Okay baby, let's get
funky now, '70s style.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Now Mike, you gotta tell me,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}what caused the '70s?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What do you mean, baby?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I mean, this whole '70s,
who came up with it?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Uh, the '70s,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}well, I think they were
developed by Robert Stigwood.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ah.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Actually, I think the
'70s were made up

{\a1\pos(33,460)}by either England Dan or John
Ford Coley, I'm not sure which.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I think they both
came up with it

{\a1\pos(96,460)}at the same time, thus,
the legend was born.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Look, Cody Palance,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}he's Jack Donaldson's
tough, street-smart,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}wise-cracking,
crime-fighting son.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(singing)

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now isn't Can't Stop the Music

{\a1\pos(54,460)}with the Village People tied
up with the '70s somehow?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yes, but don't diminish

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the importance of Nancy Walker.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, I didn't mean
to imply that--

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well whenever anyone mentions

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Can't Stop the Music they
forget about Nancy Walker,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}it's not right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Jeez, all I was saying--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It just gets me
mad, that's all.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Woah, woah, ,woah.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, I know who was
important during the '70s,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}the Eagles.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You're damn right
they were important.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}They almost
single-handedly sustained

{\a1\pos(96,460)}the economy of Columbia.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}For some reason when
I think of the '70s

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I think of Melanie.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I do too, you know,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Brand New Key,
Lay Down Lay Down,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}candles at her concerts,
that kind of thing?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}No, no, no I was gonna
say Melanie Chartoff.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Fridays spoke to a
whole generation, man.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}When you talk about the
'70s, you can't forget

{\a1\pos(180,460)}the scandal that
rocked the decade.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know what I'm
talking about, right?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Of course, you
mean when Abe Vigoda

{\a1\pos(117,460)}left Barney Miller to
star on Fish, right?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I never got over that.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's not what
I'm talking about.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I was thinking of
Watergate, Watergate.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well what the hell
did Abe Vigoda

{\a1\pos(12,460)}have to do with Watergate?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Nothing.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Then why are you
dragging him into it?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You said I could, would, oh.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}You two.
(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Hey, remember when everybody
had this poster here?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Except that there
was only one of them

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and it was Farrah Fawcett?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Remember that?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(imitating laser noises)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}All breasts, whether
actual or created

{\a1\pos(12,460)}are based on authenticated fact.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, where was Bruce
Jenner in this movie?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}He's the one on the left.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(singing)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(mechanical whirring)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Mike, there were
a whole lot of

{\a1\pos(117,460)}shameful performances
in today's movie.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Why, even your run-of-the-
mill palooka like Crow here

{\a1\pos(96,460)}can tell you that much.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He's right, I could.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}But now, thanks to my
fantastic new invention,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}mankind are able
to measure exactly

{\a1\pos(138,460)}how shameful it was.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What this little thing?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The Shame-o-Meter?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sham-om-eter, Mike.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey Shamometer bup
deep buh dee deep.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}How charming.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Shut up, Crow.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Mike, shame emits tiny
waves best measured in

{\a1\pos(12,460)}nits of Lawfords, kilo-Lawfords,
mega-Lawfords and so on.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Cambot, if you please.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, howdy girls, shall
I gasoline her up for you?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}See there?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We're in mega-Lawford range.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'd say that's pretty shameful.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Let's try something else.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Cambot.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I am Commander Lindsay Mark,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}commander of the
(machine whirring)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Jim Backus on the machine
registers well into

{\a1\pos(180,460)}the giga-Lawford
range, so in order to

{\a1\pos(96,460)}get an accurate reading,
I'm going to have to

{\a1\pos(138,460)}retrofit this baby--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}No, no, that's quite
all right, Servo.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You know though, you,
young man have performed

{\a1\pos(33,460)}a valuable service here today.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(alarms ringing)

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Huh?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What the?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh my God, there's an
unidentifed source,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}this could be well
into the Google shame!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Mike, it was pointless
and silly of us

{\a1\pos(180,460)}to dress as '70s
relief pitchers,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and to rectify the situation

{\a1\pos(180,460)}we've decided to
dress as Bobby Riggs

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and Billy Jean King.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Because Mike, we pride ourselves

{\a1\pos(33,460)}on being topical and current.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey you lousy
woman, rectify this.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(glass shattering)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(synthesizer music)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(disco music)