Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988–1999): Season 6, Episode 24 - 12 to the Moon - full transcript

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ In the not-too-distant future
way down in Deep 13

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ Dr. Forester and TV's Frank

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ Were hatching an evil scheme

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ They hired a temp by
the name of Mike

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Just a regular Joe
they didn't like

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Their experiement needed
a good test case,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ So they conked him
on the noggin

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ And they shot him into space

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Let me go!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ We'll send him cheesy movies

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ The worst we can find,
la la la

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ He'll have to sit and
watch them all

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ And we'll monitor his mind,
la, la, la

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Now keep in mind,
Mike can't control

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Where the movies begin or end,
la, la, la

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ He'll try to keep his sanity

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ With the help of his
robot friends

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Robot roll call,

{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ Cambot,

{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ Gypsy,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ Tom Servo,

{\a1\pos(285,460)}♪ Crow

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ If you're wondereing how he
eats and breathes

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ And other science facts, la,
la, la

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Just repeat to yourself,
"It's just a show,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ "I should really just relax"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ For "Mystery Science
Theater 3000"

{\a1\pos(54,460)}La, la, la, hey, hi everyone.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Welcome to the
Satellite of Love.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That big blonde
human back there-

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's Mike Nelson.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Yeah, (clears throat) anyway,
he just got invited

{\a1\pos(33,460)}to one of Gypsy's tea parties.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(both laugh)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And we're off for a
spirited game of tennis,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}his favorite game.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Let's watch him.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Did you- - Dear Abby-

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I thought- - There was a-

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Good "Designing Women" last
night, wasn't it?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What's that? Yeah, yeah.
(laughs)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That was really funny.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I think that Delta Burke is
really the glue

{\a1\pos(54,460)}that holds that show together
because there was

{\a1\pos(96,460)}a thing last night
where she came out

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and the stuff started happening.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}She's not on the show anymore.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, no, no, she's not,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but I think she's on the
show in spirit and...

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I mean, because that other
woman's on now.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Should we create a disturbance
and save his behind?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Not for all the candy
in the world.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(both laugh)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'm starting to think that
you didn't even

{\a1\pos(117,460)}watch "Designing Women"
last night.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Maybe I didn't.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I was definitely watching
a show, though,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and there was women on it,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It seemed like they were
designing, but you know,
who knows?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(laughs) We'll be right back.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(both laugh)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, Gypsy, this tea has
really been great.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Great, then we'll see you
next Saturday?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(groans) Well, I have a thing
that I have to...

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Say, Mike, if you and Helena
Bonham Carter there

{\a1\pos(54,460)}are finished, could we please
start our tennis game?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We could, but Merchant and
Ivory are calling.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Good evening, ladies and
gentlemen, good evening.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Tonight it is my pleasure
to host Deep 13's

{\a1\pos(117,460)}annual celebrity roast.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This year our guest of
honor is none other

{\a1\pos(12,460)}than Dr. Clayton Forrester.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Dr. Clayton Forrester,
ladies and gentlemen.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You know, I'd like to say that
tonight we're honoring

{\a1\pos(117,460)}one of the world's most
brilliant scientists.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'd like to say that, but
unfortunately,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}we're stuck with Dr. Forrester.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(both laugh)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Seriously, though, I'm
treated well down here.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}My paycheck has lots of zeros.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Nothing but zeros as a matter
of fact, but still.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(both laugh)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}No really, I kid the
good doctor.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}But I think deep down underneath
it all he's a real jerk.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}There are a lot of reasons
you could give for

{\a1\pos(138,460)}why Dr. Forrester is
the way he is.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Personally, I think it's 'cause
he's ugly and stupid.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}No, no, seriously, Doctor,
in all sincerity,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}what I really came here
tonight to say was

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I hate your guts and I hope you
die a slow, painful death,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}secure in the knowledge that
nobody loves you. (laughs)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, let's bring up our guest
of honor for tonight.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ladies and gentlemen, Dr.
Clayton Forrester himself.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Dr. Forrester, yeah.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Thank you, TV's Frank. (laughs)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know, there is after a
beautiful tribute like that,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}there's only one thing I can
say, and that's...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Frank grunts).

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And in conclusion...
(Frank grunts)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I knew I should've
hired Red Buttons.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Back up to you, Merv.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, everyone, just playing

{\a1\pos(33,460)}a little Canadian doubles here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's the first ever Satellite of
Love celebrity open.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Silence, s'il vous plait.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Christie love.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Crow, it's 30-love.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Whatever.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}All right, you ready?
Here we go.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Out!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Out? Out?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}What is your problem?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}What, are you blind?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Why don't you grow some hair?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Servo, come on, you're
out of order here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm out of order?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're out of order,
she's out of order,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}the whole damn court's
out of order!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Jeez!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Frank coughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, do me a favor, Frank;

{\a1\pos(12,460)}take these oranges and wrap them
in this towel, all right?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Sure thing, Doc.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Mayor Dinkins, as a special
treat, your movie this week

{\a1\pos(138,460)}is a little bit of a
change of pace.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's about a bunch of
astronauts who go on

{\a1\pos(138,460)}a space mission back
in the 50's.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It's called "12 to the Moon."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}But first, a little musical acid
trip from our friends at

{\a1\pos(54,460)}General Motors called "Design
for Dreaming." (laughs)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}What are you gonna do
with these, Clay?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Just call me "Bobo," Frank.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Easy, easy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(in accent) No, I am having
hard enough time,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}why are you starting now?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(all shouting) (loud buzzing)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We got movie sign!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, this is by Noah Cowan.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ I dreamt last night, the
moon was so bright,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I hate it when people tell me
about their dreams.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ And it wasn't alarming when I
saw a Prince Charming

{\a1\pos(33,460)}That is the nicest oxygen tent
I have ever seen.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And Tommy Tune arrives.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Let me persuade you to
come to the place

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ Where tomorrow meets today

{\a1\pos(96,460)}A subpoena for me?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, thank you, it sounds
very exciting.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}May I come just as I am?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}No, you must come as Geechy Guy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Hey, girls don't go
to Motoramas

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Dressed in a pair
of pink pajamas

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, Holly Go-weirdly.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ I don't care, haven't got a
single thing to wear

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Man, she's super femmy.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}A gown.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ooh, I'll be the talk
of the town.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Honey, is dinner ready?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, my God!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ Oh, my

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Go after it, fly

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Cleared for takeoff.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Past 1,000 windows,
yellow with light

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Down, down it fell
and it landed

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ In the Waldorf-Astoria hotel.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Right in the middle of the

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Steiman-Hoffsberg
wedding reception.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, God, she's right there.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Just act natural.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Janine Turner.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}White days, for
those light days.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I clutch the invitation
to my bosoms.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(upbeat jazz music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He was a famous bugle boy
from out Chicago way.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ You think that brand-new car
is better than mink

{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ Excited

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Delighted

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Jump, do it, jump!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ Since it's just a dream and
involves no money

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Keep your eye on the sparrow.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I had a near-death
experience like this.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ They're all so beautiful, I
really don't know

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ So let me go down,
get the lowdown

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ And look at each
one much closer

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Excuse me.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Move it, buster, it's my dream.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come on, let me through.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, no, no, no, no.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ I want a Corvette

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I don't give a tin...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I thought you would,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}That's why I entered your head.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Someone pinched me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ I want a Pontiac, too

{\a1\pos(33,460)}She is a high maintenance date.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Okay, we'll have to use your
old two car garage.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, my Lord, the
dancing and all.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, that's different.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ How do you feel about
this fine automobile

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ It's easy to see myself
taking the wheel

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No... (Mike grunts)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ This Buick's a beaut

{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ I'll try it

{\a1\pos(138,460)}She's gonna roll it!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Oh, what a dreamy ride

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Security to the showroom floor,
please.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ I think that we
ought to buy it

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, great, I guess I can

{\a1\pos(54,460)}sell my plasma every Tuesday.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Let's go all out and buy
a Cadillac, too

{\a1\pos(138,460)}This is a rebuttal to
"Roger and Me."

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ I can hardly wait for this
dream to come true.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}At least they got a
good parking spot.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, your apron is showing!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Better get her into the
kitchen quick.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Tater tots are burning.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Anymore girls in there?
(giggles)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Jeez, no wonder they need a car,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}he has to carry her everywhere.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Just like a man, you
give him a break

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ And you end up in the
kitchen baking a cake

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, she can really
belt the blues.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ This was a kitchen like
none I've seen

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Put a card in the slot
and onto the screen

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ Pops a picture of just how
your dish will look

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's Deal-a-Meal.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ With all the ingredients
you need to cook

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Just because it's futuristic
doesn't mean it's practical.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ No need for the bride
to feel tragic

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ The rest is push-button magic

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(robot scatting)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ So, whether you bake
or broil or stew

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ The Frigidaire kitchen
does it all for you

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ You don't have to be chained
to the stove all day

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Just set the timer and
you're on your way

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Now you can kick back
and tip back,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I caught a wild turkey.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Tick-tock, Tick-tock,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ I'm free to have fun
around-the-clock

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, it's a salute to Mr. B.
Natural!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, no, no.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(all gasp)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}This would be the up part of

{\a1\pos(138,460)}romantic mood swings,
I'm guessing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Man, it is gonna take her

{\a1\pos(180,460)}forever to write
this dream down.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, wow.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Weird.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'm exhausted.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I wonder what Freud would
make of that sun hat.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, sometimes a sun hat
is just a sun hat.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ The kitchen of
tomorrow is calling me

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Looks like her mother's little
helpers kicked in.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ My cake is ready

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I call no way.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Candles and everything.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Happy birthday, Wanda June.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Time for the show,
everybody on stage.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(all cough)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(sings) Ooh, black diamond!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And now a glamorous

{\a1\pos(12,460)}dancer in a special number,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Dance of Tomorrow!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(applause)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Chorous Line II, the
wrath of Chaka Khan.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Take it off, uh, no.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Everyone says the
future is strange,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ But I have a feeling those
things won't change

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Mom, what are you doing?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Give us Cyd Charise!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(drum music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}While she's dancing,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}the Japanese are
making great cars.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Cindy Williams is Twyla Tharp
as Isadora Duncan

{\a1\pos(54,460)}in "The Meredith Monk Story,"
a one-woman show.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Co-starring Tom
Bosley as Bosley.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Whoa, how natural.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now, the dream cars of tomorrow!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We have Jackie Gleason,
Audrey Meadows.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Bonnie and Clyde's death car.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}A magnificent El Dorado Town
Car by Cadillac.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ensemble by Christian
Dior of Paris.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Tsk, tsk, tsk.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}With Art Carney and
Joyce Randolph.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Fonzi's death car. (laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Buick presents the
sleek Centurion.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Driving coat by
Montesano of New York.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Pregnant woman and
schnauzer optional.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Entire production supervised
by Jackie Gleason.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oldsmobile's elegant
golden Rocket.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Sports outfit by Pop Fremo
of Los Angeles.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Enclosed, free pants car.
(laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Executive producer,
Jack Philbin.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}The Schick electric razor car.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Pontiac's Club de Mer,
open to the sky.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Costume by Emilio of Capri.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Unfettered avarice by
Madison Avenue.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}In "The Honeymooners."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Crow growls)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Silk casual by Digby
Morton of London.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Clown suit by Bargain
Clown of Hollywood.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, this is what happens when

{\a1\pos(96,460)}you go to a car show with
Michael Crawford.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And last of all, designed for

{\a1\pos(117,460)}the electronic highway
of the future,

{\a1\pos(120,460)}the fabulous
turbine-powered Firebird II.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The extension of my manhood car.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Your deal with the devil
is now complete.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Ahh! Dracul!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Stockard Channing is Peter Pan.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Do you have it in red?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}That's a six week delivery,
ma'am.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yes, yes, step in there.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Yes, come on, it's a mink, yes,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}go ahead and take the wheel,
yes, yes, yes. (laughs)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Don't do it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Atomic batteries to power.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Why, it's you.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Who?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Firebird II to control tower.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We are about to take off on the
highway of tomorrow.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Stand by.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You sweet talker.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Look, dead raccoon of tomorrow.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Tomorrow, tomorrow

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(sings) With my sword
and magic helmet.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Our dreams will come true

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's where our
president Barbi Benton

{\a1\pos(12,460)}lives with Prime Minister Jim J.
Bullock.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Together, together,
we'll make...

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Motorific freeway, you build it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Someone invent rock 'n roll,
please.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(all imitate car engine)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Strange shapes will rise
out of the night

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Future may not be
available as seen,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}personal fates may vary.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Future not available in Africa,
India,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}or Central-South America.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}There's probably some giant kid

{\a1\pos(33,460)}standing off holding a control.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Lighting our way

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I really should be getting home.
(giggles)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Conspicuous consumption makes
our love stronger.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Look out, the bridge to
the future's out.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(imitating explosion)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Wow, lady.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, down here, lady.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, lady. Love this lady.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}She's in everything.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I got a torch for her.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, wow, this is gonna be great,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}it's got a rocket
and everything.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Look at that.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah. Yep. - Rocket.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}They're bombing Washington.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(rocket blasts off)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Bombing London,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}bombing France,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}bombing my underpants.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(all laugh)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Tonight on "Space Court."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Donuts?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}No, no, no, that's not it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, you're going to the moon
all right. (laughs)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Whoa, kinda like refrigerator
magnet credits here.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Whoa!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Wow, I think I'm in this.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Maybe not.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}No, I don't think so.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Yes, by the year 1980, we will
be living on the moon.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Remember when we were living
on the moon in 1980?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I flew my personal helicopter.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(imitates dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}The Mawapaty Junior High School
festival of horns!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Are these the 12 that are
going to the moon?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(all counting)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Nope, I don't think so.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Nope.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Martha Stewart planned that
seating arrangement.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Judy Chicago could
have done this.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Okay.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ladies and gentlemen,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the master funny man of our age,
Victor Borge.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hello the world.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}There's a kind of hush.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I am speaking for the
International Space Order.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hi!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}In the first worldwide radio and
telecast in history.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}At this moment,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I may die.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}over 2 billion people.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Have been served.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}In every part of the
world are focusing

{\a1\pos(12,460)}their attention on this program.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}And my rump.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Every nation of the Earth in a
magnificent effort

{\a1\pos(117,460)}is contributing of its
people and resources

{\a1\pos(12,460)}in an attempt to reach the
moon and proclaim it

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Dolphin safe.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}International territory.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And House of Pancakes.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The rocket ship, Lunar
Eagle number one

{\a1\pos(201,460)}represents the
culminating achievement

{\a1\pos(201,460)}of the world's
leading scientists.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The men and women who
will fly her

{\a1\pos(33,460)}have been hand-picked from the
world's leading specialists.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Louie, this could be

{\a1\pos(201,460)}the start of a
beautiful friendship.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Who personally designed

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and supervised the construction
of this rocket ship.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Welcome to Studio 54.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Dr. Heinrich is the oldest
member of the crew,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Sir Rod Murdock is the youngest.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}He holds a doctor's degree
in mathematics,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}at the age of 19.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ticket, please.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Dr. Selim Hamid from Turkey.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's an expert on
space medicine.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Selected to work with him is

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Dr. Sigrid Bomark from Sweden,
physician and physicist.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And member of Abba.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}From France, Etienne Martel,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}engineer and technician.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I hate you stupid American pigs.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Sir William Rochester,

{\a1\pos(285,460)}'Ello.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Noted British geophysicist.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And my houseboy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Tokyo-born Hideko Murata
will be acting as

{\a1\pos(96,460)}astro-photographer
and pharmacist.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Mother of five.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Russia is represented by Dr.
Feodor Orloff.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hello.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Theologist and mapmaker.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}From Nigeria, the chief
navigator, the great astronomer,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm forgetting this one.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Asmara Markonen.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Okay, and?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}From Israel, Polish born Dr.
David Ruskin.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}This aeronautic
engineer will serve

{\a1\pos(12,460)}as the official recorder of
this expedition.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}He'll be catering the flight.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Brazilian Dr. Luis Vargas,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}the ship's first
pilot will also be

{\a1\pos(54,460)}in charge of communications.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The leader of this
gigantic undertaking

{\a1\pos(117,460)}is John Anderson of the
United States who has

{\a1\pos(12,460)}dedicated his life to man's
conquest of space.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I heard there was a
rocket around here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}His three previous
orbital flights

{\a1\pos(12,460)}have made him world-famous.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yes, I'm Captain Cliff Beefpile.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}He was the unanimous choice of

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the International Space Order to
helm this project.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}What's going on around here?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Any of you Euro-freaks
speak English?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let's get the rules
straight right away,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}we're speaking English.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Within the next few minutes,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The next voice you hear...

{\a1\pos(180,460)}we expect to make
world-shattering history.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The dual powered Lunar
Eagle will take off

{\a1\pos(54,460)}with the liquid fuel method.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}And outside the
Earth's atmosphere,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Freight elevator to the moon.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}When the moon's
orbit is reached,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And Jupiter aligns with Mars.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The first landing on

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the moon will be attempted.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}If all goes as planned...

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Shut up.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, they couldn't get anyone

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to take care of the dog?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}From X minus zero.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}During the entire flight,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'll be talking.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Earth Control will try to keep

{\a1\pos(33,460)}in communication with the ship.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Are we there yet, are we there?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- No. - Now?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'll tell you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And the news of the landing.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That's the Lido deck.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}God be with them.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And also with you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, Earl, I'm looking
right at your hinder.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Don't look at my butt, stop.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(all laugh)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Beach chairs, look, the
first Sun Country

{\a1\pos(138,460)}charter to the moon.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}If I could rap with
them animals.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I call the pink lawn chair.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I call the one by the window.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(in French accent)
How did I know

{\a1\pos(54,460)}there were monkeys on board?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You brought the birds here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You're evil, evil!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Once again, on behalf
of our captain

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and the flight crew, I'd like to
welcome you aboard

{\a1\pos(117,460)}People's Express flight
201 to the moon.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Sorry we had to change you
into a dog, Ted,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}but it was necessary.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Pookers.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Public broadcasting
needs your support.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, look, they got one of those

{\a1\pos(117,460)}make your own recording
things there.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yep.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's a quarter to 2000.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Tom laughs)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Why must I buy every
clock I see?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I can't wear gray.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ow, oh, my ears, ow!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I specifically said on my
application no gray.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I can't wear gray.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}(with French accent) In France,
we had better

{\a1\pos(33,460)}moons than you people, stupid.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hi, Mom, it's our first
day in space,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}a couple of monkeys on board,
probably meet 'em at lunch.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This is Dr. David Ruskin
reporting his first entry

{\a1\pos(96,460)}into the official log of
the Lunar Eagle.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Neat, huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We will attempt to
report salient

{\a1\pos(96,460)}information as it occurs.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It is now launch time minus...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Uh, something.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Two minutes.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Aw, great, I get the
cloth helmet.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Tom laughs)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}If "Are You Being Served,"

{\a1\pos(54,460)}is the kind of programming...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'm gonna set this to
central stud time

{\a1\pos(12,460)}'cause I am Sledge Riprock.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Shiny tiles.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'm handsome too, you know.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Stupid Americans.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'd rather be knitting.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'm all tingly.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Am I Bernard Kelb?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I hope I like the moon.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Tank Concrete, astronaut.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, no, no, it goes
on your head.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}One-size-fits-all. (grunts)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}For a year of Nova or Newton's
Apple, you can...

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Range ready?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(grunts) Why does it hurt my
place when I do this?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Bronk Drywall.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Yes, the tension is palpable.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I resent her.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(scoffs) Oh, that's gonna
make the rocket go.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Stump Hugelarge at the controls.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}T-minus 27 seconds and counting,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}all the recorders and the
silographs to fast start.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}The silographs?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(rumbling)

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Whoa!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Wait, I'm Jewish.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I need a pillow.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Tom whines)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And you'll get the tote bag.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Four, three, two, one.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And we're launching too.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}No, that's the Mars button.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I forgot my toothbrush!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Gunther, is everything ready for

{\a1\pos(33,460)}our historic trip to the moon?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(with German accent) Ya, I am
German, and I can

{\a1\pos(201,460)}assure you that
everything is ready.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Milz, ready on your end?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ya, I'm Swedish so you
know everything...

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(all shout)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(sings) I've beamed myself
on your satellite,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I hope that's okay with you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Uh, yeah, sure.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I am Nuvina, woman
of the future,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}will you dance with me?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}No.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Come on, Mike, go talk
to her at least.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yeah, you gotta
admit you haven't

{\a1\pos(96,460)}touched a woman since the
Carter administration.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, great, I'll go talk to the
potentially evil specter,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}while you cower behind the desk.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Okay.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What do you want from us?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Try singing like that idiot
from the short.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Right (sings) What do
you want from us?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}(sings) I want to take you and
your robot friend

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to my futuristic world.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}But, first I want to
dance with you.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, well.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What would we do in your
futuristic world?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Does it really matter?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Wow. - Stay right there.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Nuvina.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, Nuvina. - Yup.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Woman of the future.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(robots laugh)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}So, we going or what?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, I don't know, I thought I'd

{\a1\pos(138,460)}let her hang out, see
what happens.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}So, Nuvina, we've got
something to do,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but, feel free to make
yourself a sandwich.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You're gonna kiss her,
aren't you?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I don't know, we'll see.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Be right back.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Nuvina, Nuvina!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Cut it out.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You're gonna marry her.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(Crow laughs) Knock it off.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}1,500 miles above Earth,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}present speed, 16,000
miles per hour.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}When I get out,
Starsky's a dead man.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Point 0004.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Zero.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Three minutes from launch.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Booster power off.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Switching to four-wheel-drive.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Transfer to atomic
power accomplished.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}My hair's holding up just fine.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}On profile, gyro settings equal.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, according to this,
we're dead.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(machine beeps)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ew, they're out of
windshield wiper fluid.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Doctors Bromark and Hamid
proceed with medical checkup.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}All right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Looks like Thierry Mugler
designed these suits, huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, I'm fine, see to Dr.
Heimlich.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}But I should warn you,
you want me.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'll come back to you later.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, I can see my continent
from here. (laughs)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Looks as if Valdez is having

{\a1\pos(54,460)}quite a rainstorm back there.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It's the first time I've seen a
storm from the other end.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}They may be getting soaked with
rain back on Earth.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I have come to suck your blood.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We are quite dry, but, going
far into the unknown,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}from which we may never return.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Just make with the squeeze ball,
Ivan.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Do you have any doubt that
we will return?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Do you?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I asked you first.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Of course not, I
never doubted it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}One has to develop a bit of
fatalism about all this.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I never doubted it for a moment
that we'll make it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, well, well.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Poofy Poo-Poo Papa.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}For the first time in my life,
Earth looks good to me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Dr. Martel, don't you think
we'll make it either?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}But of course.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'm so French.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It's perfectly reasonable that
we should make it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I trust the engines.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Savoir Faire is everywhere!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}What will happen will happen.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}C'est la vie.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}That's right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Right, you're next.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Please, Martel, roll
up your sleeve.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, all these
unimportant details.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I am in the best of health.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, we just want to make sure.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}One forearm later.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'll see you below.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Good, I'll start on our pilot.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Who's gonna start on the pilot?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I heard about that new
magna camera.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}How does it work?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, after taking motion
pictures on magnetic tape,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I can with this button choose
any frame I wish.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Let's test it. Here,
I'll show you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I had to ask, didn't I?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And this button turns on
the bathroom fan.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}There you are.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I've just taken this picture of
our receding Earth.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Ew, the photo adds 10 pounds.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}When next we have
some free time...

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Where am I supposed to plug
in my hairdryer?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Physical condition of the
entire group, excellent.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Except for Heinrich, whose
age is showing.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Everyone acting artificially
calm to cover up

{\a1\pos(12,460)}their real excitement about
man's first trip to the moon.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Dr. Ruskin?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'll take you first.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This trip's getting
better all the time.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Busy so soon recording our trip?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We're scarcely on our way.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, I'm keeping the most
accurate flight log possible.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm working on a flight
log right here.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You will always remember man's
first flight to the moon.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The events you record in
the next few days

{\a1\pos(33,460)}will be milestones in history.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, yes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, my God, look at your
blood pressure!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What about Dr. Heinrich?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}What, what about him, what's
that supposed to mean?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Not very well.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It's only natural I suppose,
he is the oldest.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Don't say anything to anybody
else, no ill effect.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Such a brilliant man.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Old, though, wow.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}If only someday I
could be like him.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Except for that old part.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Brilliant," did I hear?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What brilliance?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, God, he's been
drinking again.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Who can produce most through
interplanetary travel?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Jubilacious T. Cornpone.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Russia. - What, are
you serious?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}But of course.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I am French and, oh, wait.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Sputnik one, Sputnik two,
Sputnik eight, nine, two dogs.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Our dog will survive
these experiments.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Gentlemen, gentlemen, we have
much work ahead of us.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}My work will start on the
surface of the moon,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm a geologist, and the best
mapmaker in the world.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I hate mapmakers.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yes, Poland is still on
your Russian map.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}But of course, it has
already been liberated.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Again with the finger.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Don't get any ideas about
liberating my country, Israel.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Dr. Orloff, your medical
checkup, please.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(mutters in Russian)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, how's your
little wire mother?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(all laugh)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ah, you lucky people.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Nothing seems to worry you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Pigs in space!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Sega!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Navigator to captain.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're in an unusual
magnetic field.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's all dark and there're
stars and stuff.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(machine beeps)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ah, I guess I thought
it'd be better.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm sorry.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Cool.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, that's just so great.
(laughs)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, we're gonna die.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Meteor clusters ahead!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}How close?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You're on a collision course,
a collision course!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Changing over to auto-reaction
pilot, Vargas, take over.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Meteors don't travel in flocks.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}These do.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Captain to navigator,
autopilot change course

{\a1\pos(33,460)}eight degrees to avoid meteors.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}There's a crack in the
dilithium crystals!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I've got to have two hours,
captain!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, hey, hey.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Wow, Sugar Pops, we need milk,
cap'n.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I wet my little kitty pants.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(cat meows)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm so glad they snatched us

{\a1\pos(12,460)}from the rainforest, Maude.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Should I fetch or not or what?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The navigator's black.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Stupid meteors, pig dogs.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}What was that?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, just some stray meteors.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It's all right, Mimi, Adolfo.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And they stroll into action.
(laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Profile change completed.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Now!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Back on original setting.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Let me check on that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It worked perfectly.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}After all, it was our invention.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Whoa, his doppelganger arrived.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}With a little help.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}There's always one desk

{\a1\pos(54,460)}that everybody hangs around.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Wake up, we are out of
Columbian coffee.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(sings) Sentimental hygiene.
(laughs)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Isn't it marvelous, Hideko?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Much more soothing and
practical than water.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Katie's a farmer's daughter.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Cleaned by ultrasound, and
massage by airspray jets.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, I don't buy it
for one minute.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}When I get back to Stockholm,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm gonna have one installed
in my apartment.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Me too, when I get
back to Tokyo.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Chunk Pylon, here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You can want me now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oops, I'm sorry, ladies.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, you could've knocked.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, we're not at the Waldorf,
you know.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, Mimi, Rudolfo, some attic

{\a1\pos(33,460)}you've climbed into, isn't it?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(cats meow)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I wanted to be a dentist.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, don't worry, your work's
gonna start on the moon.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}They want to see if procreation
can take place up there.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Uh, look, I think we're
moving too fast.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}So, maybe when we get back,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}you'll have a litter of
moon kittens, hmm?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}So cool.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Captain's log: Girls, get a look
at my space station.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We are direct on
course to orbit,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}with the crater of Minna Léo's.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Orbit. Oh, orbit.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Another hour and 37 minutes,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and we should begin retro
procedure for landing.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Cool.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, I can't get enough
of that shot.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Mm-mm, me either.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, Mother Eath.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}From up here, she looks rather

{\a1\pos(96,460)}small and insignificant,
doesn't she, stargazer?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Very small, John, very
insignificant.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Anything else I can help
you with here?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I wonder what they're
doing down there?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Probably watching us.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, I better get up
those stairs

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and get ready for a reversal.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Thanks Captain, you've improved

{\a1\pos(117,460)}my motivation and sense
of empowerment.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ew, looks like God snagged.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Tom coughs)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Give me my Romeo and
then he shall die.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Cut him into tiny stars
and he shall make-

{\a1\pos(180,460)}No, no, shut up.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Jeez, I didn't think space

{\a1\pos(12,460)}would be so vast and stuff.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Whoa, slippery stretch,
losing it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Remember, turn into the skid.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Pump the brakes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, a souvenir for
some lucky fan!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It was my pleasure, Hideko.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Reversal accomplished
without mishap.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Landing in one hour
and 32 minutes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Contents may have shifted
during flight.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well, up to the rumpus deck,
everybody.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Stupid American computer.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I switch you on, I
switch you off,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}you're so stupid, I hate you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}And now, Roddy,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Pull my pencil.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}we need the formula
for our rate of

{\a1\pos(138,460)}deceleration for our
landing on the moon.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Final orals in space.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It'll be X over G minus three,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}considering that the moon's

{\a1\pos(138,460)}gravitational pull is
1/6 of Earth.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's absolutely right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He's always right.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Amazing, Rod.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}They took trainees to the moon?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Is that a good idea?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Of course the original
calculation...

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Uh-oh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I can feel a song coming on.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Was determined three years ago
by Bernauer in Vienna.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'd love to sketch him.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Ironic, isn't it, that for all
his brilliance...

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Uh, Ron?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Bernauer could have been
such a Nazi beast.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well, we're trying to figure
fuel needs back here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Did you know he was
directly responsible for

{\a1\pos(33,460)}the extermination of more than
100,000 of my people?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(laughs) Oh.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}He killed my mother, my father,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}my sisters and my brothers.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Sisters," slow down, slow down.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Dr. Heinrich is...

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Rod, come over here, will you?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We have a problem here.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Your uniform is way too tight,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I didn't want to tell you in
front of everyone.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Would you knock it off?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Ruskin doesn't know that Dr.
Heinrich's

{\a1\pos(96,460)}own father was Bernauer.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's a surprise.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Heinrich was so ashamed of
what his father did

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that he changed his name.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}To Evelyn "Champagne" King.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}But, he's in the same body.
Look.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Your old man was a Nazi, huh?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}That should take care of it,
shouldn't it?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Good.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}They work so well together.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Too bad they must die.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yes, let's not rake up all
that old muck again.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, we're almost
back to Earth.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Wait a minute!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}This is the latest shot of our
moon landing area, Captain.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Could you sign it "Love,
Chester"?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Captain Anderson to crew,
strap down for landing.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yes, sir!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They get a lot of use out
of that thing.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(machine beeps)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, we're picking up
crappies at 30 feet, sir.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Altitude, 500 feet.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Wisconsin farmer Howard Fleece

{\a1\pos(117,460)}took this footage of an
actual angel.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}400.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}300.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Whoops, 400 again.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}200.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ooh, fluffy lips. (kisses)

{\a1\pos(306,460)}100.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come on, just land.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Touch.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(sings) Touch a photo to
call my name now.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Whoa.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Sorry, not used to a stick.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We made it, we made it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now to spread my seed.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, I missed a shot.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Jell-o shots.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Allah be praised.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Praise the ship, not Allah.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'll praise whoever I want,
white boy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Lunar Eagle number one to
central Earth control.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You won't believe where I'm
calling you from.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(Man): Earth control to
Lunar Eagle 1, over.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Lunar Eagle number 1, Captain
Anderson speaking.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Reporting successful
landing on moon.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Time is calculated
plus 37 minutes.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Returning now for first
Lunar disemarkation.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Next scheduled contact with
Central Earth Control at 0200.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Congratulations, Lunar Eagle 1.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You like us, you really like us.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}International Space Order.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Thank God you made it, Captain.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's still alive.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Speaking for all the
peoples of the Earth,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}you and your crew represent our
heartiest congratulations.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}with this first great step in
the exploration of space.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We pledge allegiance
to the flag.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Godspeed in your work.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Wilfred Hidewide signing off.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(sings) Like a
rhinestone cowboy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're preparing to leave
the Lunar Eagle.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}In a few minutes man, for
the first time,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}will set foot upon the moon.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Whoopee!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The excitement is great,
but controlled

{\a1\pos(201,460)}because of its
momentous importance.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Right.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm now switching over to my
helmet microphone.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'd love to get the
storyboards for this scene.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now, I'm turning on my invisible

{\a1\pos(12,460)}electromagnetic ray screen,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(scoffs) Even I don't buy it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}which forms a protective
shield over our faces,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Of course it does.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I will continue my commentary

{\a1\pos(33,460)}through my micro tape recorder.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And now I'm activating my
wings and I'll fly.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Take everything with
extreme care.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Double check your oxygen supply.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}There's enough in each tank
for a two-hour stay

{\a1\pos(54,460)}upon the surface of the moon.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Zip me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}As you remember, you
must develop

{\a1\pos(54,460)}an additional reflex action.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Make sure your suit radio is in
working order at all times.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Now, the natives will try to
sell you baskets.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Martel, while we are gone,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}keep all TV and radio
channels open.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Check.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Also, lower the
equipment in the winch.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Check.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And go light on the sauces,
will ya?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Equipment check, Makonen.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Anderson to Makonen radio check.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Check.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Chunk Manmusk.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Vargas, you and
Ruskin will carry

{\a1\pos(222,460)}our magnetic
meteorite deflectors.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now, remember, when we hit the
surface of the moon

{\a1\pos(201,460)}to establish a
four-point perimeter

{\a1\pos(96,460)}at least 100 yards
from the ship.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Check. Check.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Queen to Queen's pawn four,
check and mate.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Selim...

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Where's your invisible thing?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You're carrying the
air detector.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yes, check.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's in my purse.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hideko...

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You've got the pudding pops.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Emergency equipment.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Check.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Let's see, what else?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I should have made a
list or something.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Well, anyway.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Alright, Vargas and I hit
the airlock first.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}People, let's be excited,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}this is historic, come on,
let's feel historic.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(with French accent)
Table for two,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}because I'm French, you see.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}That's the meat locker, sir, oh,
well.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(all laugh)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- They fell for it. - Suckers.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's downtown St.
Paul after five.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, great planet, Tom.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(gasps) Oh, God, why did I

{\a1\pos(54,460)}believe the invisible thing?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, who is that?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hey!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I see stripmalls, One Potato,
Two,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Sun Coast Videos,
karate schools.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, that's the moon, we
can go back now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ew, it stinks here, they
must have cats.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(slow, suspenseful music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The rocket's got a
bumper sticker,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}it says, "Don't laugh,
it's paid for."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(all laugh)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}'Cause it isn't, you see?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, it's Gumby, Gumby!
(stutters)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}One small step for a man,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and one small soda and
extra fries. (laughs)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Look up there, you can see
the psyche lights.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Crow laughs)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Walk slow and stupid,
we're on the moon.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Jeez, the moon's covered
with Fresh Step.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Doc Martens on the moon.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That's one small step
for a man...

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh you covered that already.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, okay.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(Tom and Crow imitate music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Captain Rod Codpiece
on the moon.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's one small step...

{\a1\pos(12,460)}That's taken care of, thank you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, there's no steam
in a vacuum.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What's going on?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm registering static cling.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Comic books. - Check.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Totes. - Check.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Beaks. - Check.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Talons. - Check.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}So, looks like we're moving to

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that there singing lady's
planet, eh, Mike?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yep.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, Nutrina, Nutella, Noxzema.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughs) Nuvina.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, right, right, right.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Woman of the future.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Just hope you know what
you're doing.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, come on, Gypsy, look,
she's Nuvina,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}woman of the future.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Yeah, she sings, she dances,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(laughs) she's Nuvina.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Woman of the future,
damn straight.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}(sings) Do you really need all
those socks, dear?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, perhaps not, perhaps you
are right, my munchkin.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Believe me, you won't need
this turtleneck.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Wow, she dances a lot, Mike.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, yeah, sings a lot too, Mike.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That's your life from
here on out.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'd like to be on the
road by six.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}If the experiment's done, I
don't see a problem.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's a can-do.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Just remember what happened to

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Nelson, Eddie and Jeanette
McDonald, Mike.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}What?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Eventually they died.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(sings) Here's some more
jockey shorts, dear.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I think that's enough,
thank you, darling.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, okay, you know
what you're doing,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}let's pack up everything and
move to Noxzema's planet.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Boy, I'm really gonna miss
this old satellite.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, can we blow it up
when we leave?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Wow, cool.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, we'll see, honey.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(loud buzzing) (all shouting)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Singing and dancing to
beat the band.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The planting of this
flag symbolizes

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the internationalization of
the moon to prevent

{\a1\pos(12,460)}individual nations from any
further dispute.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}And pancakes.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now, we shall continue with

{\a1\pos(96,460)}the second part of
our mission...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Already in progress.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Scientific exploration.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}TV repairmen on the moon!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Do you guys have to
follow me everywhere?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Come on, let's all get in the
shot, there you go,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}a little to the left, in a
little, in a little.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}There is no steam in a vacuum!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Okay.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Boy, the moon has serious
gopher trouble.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Whoa, Vince Coleman is here,
look out!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, no, the throw pillows
are attacking.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(suspenseful music)

{\a1\pos(99,460)}We are constantly being
bombarded by falling rocks...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And useless dialogue.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}caused by the
explosion of meteors

{\a1\pos(12,460)}hitting the moon's surface.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Vargas, stake out this area.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Hey, stink up your own area.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Steam in a vacuum.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Remember, if you go
outside this area

{\a1\pos(12,460)}to stay within the protection of
the cliffs or rocks.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Orloff, this is where
you take charge.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Everybody attend to their...

{\a1\pos(33,460)}(with German accent) Everybody
to get from street.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}If any unusual mineral
deposits are discovered,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}please report them
to me at once.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Doctors Bromark and Hamid,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}you will search for signs
of air and life.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Whoa, the captain's a log of
short of a cord.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I gotta go empty my bag.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, get going, explore,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}this is the moon, people, jeez!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Where are you two going?
Can we come along?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(sings) We've only just begun...

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Crow coughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, look, Judge Crater.
(laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, I pretty much
made the moon.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They wanted somebody who
knew the moon.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I made it, so I came along.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Fudge!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yeah, craters, my idea.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, I guess they're not that
weightless, huh?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(sings) I think we're alone now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The Sears Diehard.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Looks like some kind of portal,
Jim.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Let's get in there and
jump-start that Chevy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(whistling)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He's using the dryer.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}There is no steam on the moon.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Okay, I know, I know.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}There's a thing there,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}look at that thing right there,
you see it?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's a love cave.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hello?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hello, is the rental
manager here?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Looks like a normal meeting.
(laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Look, cactus from a
"Huckleberry Hound" episode.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What? - Nothing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Quit looking at me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm not. You were.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, look at this, hon,
this would make

{\a1\pos(33,460)}such a statement in our foyer.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}May I help you two?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, just browsing.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ooh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Whoo, exploding urinal cake.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Would you stop handing me
stuff like that?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You want another one?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}No, I don't want another one.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And various minerals

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and stones have been collected.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Among them we have found
volcanic crystals,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and sharp coral-like formations,
which appear translucent.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}People, explore, take some
samples, come on.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's gold, isn't it?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, it's that cheap crap
they sell on QVC.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yes, that's gold.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Whoa, really low gravity, huh?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Wait a minute, wait a minute.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The potatoes are done.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}There seems to be something
unusual under here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Why, it's a sample.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Get these rocks away.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Careful, you fools, careful,
don't damage it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, you dig it out, you
wrinkled old Nazi crunt.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}What is it, Dr. Orloff?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, lately I've been
feeling listless, and...

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, the rock.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I have never seen
anything like this.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(Tom cries) It's a boy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Nor have I.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Behold, the only thing
greater than yourself.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, it's beautiful.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It's hardened palm kernel oil.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's like fire, like
liquid fire.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We're the first people to set
eyes on a stone like this.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's beautiful...

{\a1\pos(264,460)}However.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}But evil!

{\a1\pos(117,96)}Evil and sharp like the
Jewel of Media.

{\a1\pos(54,96)}"The Media Stone," very well
named, very well named.

{\a1\pos(180,68)}I have named it.

{\a1\pos(138,68)}It's called "me-ite."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Makonen, what is it?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Are you listening for something?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I feel something.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You'e on my foot.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Uh, did he take the psych
test before we left?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I saw that one first, I
claim it "Bob's rock."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I saw that one first, I get
to name that one.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I saw that one, it's
"Ted's rock."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The moon's actually
kind of a letdown.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}(sings) Strangers on the moon,
ba-doo-be-doo-bee.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}They put a diaphragm in
an old flat iron.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There must be air.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's not good air, but...

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(Inhales)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Is that thing alive?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(slow, romantic music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}They're not gonna...

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I don't think that they are.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, there's absolutely no
way that they...

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(all protesting) Mush!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know, you can only apply 1/6
the tongue on the moon.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, well then.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let the space procreation
experiment begin.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sorry, I thought you
were Frenchy.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Kinda looks like the logo of

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Miss Saigon" they're
walking into.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Hey, I see a sign that says,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Wal-drug, 200,000 miles."
(laughs)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Mrs. Muir.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Captain.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Captain Anderson,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'd like to search deeper,
please.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}There may be more precious gems
like the Media Stone here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Can we have the explosion?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yes, but we must hurry,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}we've only got about an hour's
supply of oxygen left.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}At once, then.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And we brought some cool
bottle rockets, too.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Fire in the hole. (explosion)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Mike coughs)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, good one.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What is it?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The moon does not deny
me it's essence.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Go on, touch it, I dare you.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Touch it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Touch it. - Take a chance.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come on, do it, drink it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The moon is officially icky,
yick.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I call it "Me Juice."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(screams) (all laugh)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, fools rush in, Herb.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hideko, emergency kit!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now I know why they bought 12.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I should have known what...

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(grunts)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Yeah, let's name it (grunts).

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Stupid, unthinking fool,
I deserve this.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yeah, yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No fool like an old fool.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Will you see that he gets back
to the ship, please?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'll stay with him.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Way to ruin a moonwalk,
Chuckles.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Captain Anderson. - That's me!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Sigrid and Selim,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}they're missing,
they're not with us.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, then, we'll
have to search,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}but, we must be quick because
there's not much time.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Follow the sound of their lips.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Tom laughs)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And lo, the stone had
been rolled away.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Look, their footprints.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Messiah tracks, two,
three days old.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Lead off toward the Maius.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We should really get
some exploring in.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}(all imitate supenseful music)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Ah, forget it, it's nothing.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}A Screen Gems presentation.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Another Screen Gems
presentation.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You know, we gotta get
our Christmas tree

{\a1\pos(96,460)}earlier next year, these
are really dumb.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There's air in this cave.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Dark man from sky bring air.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Could be life.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}A Screen Gems presentation.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You can see the string.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They don't care.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Iceman.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We have come to the
end of the cave.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}There's a solid wall of ice.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Yeah, luckily your invisible

{\a1\pos(33,460)}shield'll protect you from it,
huh? (laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That'll be good for
the vodka tonics

{\a1\pos(96,460)}we pound on the way back.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Are we doing something
really stupid again?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You too dumb to spell "lunkin"
over there?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What's that, huh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That wasn't that great.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Is this Omar's head in here?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, let's see,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}that'll make it nine or
ten to the moon.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(screams)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, I see that as a
cry for help.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Platoon."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Take the camera.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, boy, what's this,
six to the moon?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Don't, it's a soft-skin cord.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's no use.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The old course at St. Andrews

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and its unforgiving sand traps.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Come on, get the magne buoy,
the magnet buoy!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The magnet boy, right.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Don't let anyone
else get caught.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(shouts)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, God, the
American's in trouble.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Drop the British guy,
save the American!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(screams)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Okay, five words, first word
sounds like "grope."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Crow laughs)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Pope of Greenwich Village.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Okay, fourth word, "grassed,
assed, classed."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, forget it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I asked myself before
we even started

{\a1\pos(33,460)}who's the most likely person to
get caught in a sinkhole?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Gary. (laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Gary, exactly. -
And there it is.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I got the magic boy. - Yeah,
too late.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Ruskin!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Some sort of anti-sand device,
apparently.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Who's popping corn?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This makes no sense and
yet it's working.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Let go of my foot, Rod.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Accept your fate, Rod.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's like kind of a goofy
Iwo Jima memorial.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Good thing I'm the hunky
American leader,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I would have been done for.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Who'd we lose back there again?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, the limey.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ah, well, then.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, I s'pose, over.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Yeah, been a long day, over.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Meanwhile, Frenchy's having a
dinner party up here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Lost, everything lost.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}He's not doing what the...

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Believe it or not...
- I am French.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}outside it is 202
degrees below zero.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You returned just in time.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}And this is only the beginning
of the lunar night.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yes. Night here, like day,
is equivalent to

{\a1\pos(96,460)}15 days and nights
upon the earth.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It will dot approximately
250 below zero.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Um, you can move your arm now.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'd rather be out there now

{\a1\pos(96,460)}than at the peak of
the lunar day,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}when it's hotter than
boiling water out there.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The heavy lead in Dr.
Rochester's boots

{\a1\pos(12,460)}contributed to his sinking
into the pumice dust.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And the way he dragged his
butt around the ship.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}These are the
circumstances which

{\a1\pos(33,460)}contributed to the death of Dr.
William Rochester.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}That microphone is the devil.
(laughs)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}First embarkation party returned
to the Lunar Eagle

{\a1\pos(117,460)}because of diminishing
oxygen supply,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and the necessity to normalize
our body processes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}So, what do you think of
Pantalo's Pizza, sir?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Poor Bill, such a tragic death
for a man so dedicated.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I know, we all feel
terrible about it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, I didn't say I care.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Sigrid, Selim?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yep, I s'pose.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, it's too cold to continue
a prolonged search.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Do you think they'll get
back to the ship?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}If they're still alive.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}If woman can survive.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Just keep praying.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I have been.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, we should talk again, Rod.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Dear diary, he talked to me
again, more later.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Despite the adverse
circumstances,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}we are according to plan,
photographing

{\a1\pos(54,460)}various parts of our galaxy,
from which we hope to

{\a1\pos(96,460)}obtain a new perspective.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Which, I for one, think
is long past due.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Captain Anderson to
entire personnel,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}please assemble on A deck.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}That includes the steno pool.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}All contact with Earth Control
has been broken off.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, come on up, Professor
Mittens. (laughs)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}All contact with
Central Earth Control

{\a1\pos(96,460)}has been broken off as I
have told you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We are in complete isolation.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let's party, yeah, whoo!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The receiver seems to be
working perfectly.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}John, try to make contact again.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Yeah, okay fine, I'm
the captain,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}but I'll just do what you say.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Lunar Eagle 1 to Central
Earth Control,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}our magnetic
receiver is working.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Do you hear us, Central
Earth Control?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Do you hear us, Central
Earth Control?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}(sings) Nobody's home, nobody's
home, nobody's home.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Who didn't pay the
electrical bill?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There's something.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Men's Wearhouse,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"we will not be undersold,
I guarantee it."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Looks like hieroglyphics.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It's not Egyptian, not African.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It looks like oriental
picture writing.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Could it be Chinese?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, if only we had a, oh, we do.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hideko.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's incredible.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}The Mariners are in the series.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Do you recognize it, Hideko,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}is it something you understand?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, it's impossible,
it can't be.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Do you know what it is,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}can you translate it for us,
Hideko?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I don't know.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}But I'll try.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}No soup with buffet.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"I speak for the great
coordinator of the moon.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"We advise and warn you,
return to Earth at once.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}"You have done enough damage.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Go on, go on, it's moving again.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"You have been bombarding us for
years incessantly.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Leave us in peace.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Here's hoping Christmas
finds you well.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"We read your mind, we know
your every thought.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You are disgusting.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"We cannot speak as you do.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"We communicate by
thought waves.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Strong letter to follow,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Morgan, Johnson, Stewart,
moon lawyers.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}But, how do they live? Where?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"We live in a great
sealed city below.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We were just getting to that.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}"We are not enslaved by your
Earthly emotions.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We are Lutherans.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Greed, lust,
passions of conquest.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I kinda feel bad about our
passions of conquest.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"We can't allow you
to stay here.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}"For you would only contaminate
our perfect form of harmony.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Sigrid, Selim, is
their fate known?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(lisps) Suffering succotash!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"They are here, they say
they are in love.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"We are studying this
curious emotion.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"If we find that love
turns to evil,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Aliens do run on.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"we will destroy them,
you and your kind.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's from Pat Buchanan.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Remember we have power.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(sings) We got the power!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"We mobilize you at will."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, this is impossible, it
must be a hoax.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Is it evil? What do you think?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, Mr. Moon Man.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}These symbols could have been
sent by an Earth power,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}already secretly here
on the moon.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Seems that Jerry is already

{\a1\pos(117,460)}dicky-birdied into the
cheese factory, sir.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}A power that wishes to
scare us away.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Dianetics.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}How do you feel about that?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Fascinating.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Why ask me? How should I know?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I don't believe there are
any moon people.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Do you?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm convinced it's possible.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Mein fuhrer.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Someone could have made
it all up to...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ooh, sexual tension here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}frighten us off.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(scoffs) Ridiculous.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(scoffs) Ach!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(wheezing)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Whoop, hairball.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Moon hairball.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}God, Heinrich ate one
of the cats.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(all laugh)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Dr. Heinrich, look to Dr.
Heinrich.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm resting comfortably now.
(coughs)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, give Heinrich the Heimlich.
(laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Here, attach these jumper
cables to his nipples.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Tom wheezes)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, you guys got it covered,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'm gonna get out of here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Everybody go below, please,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Dr. Heinrich suffered from
a heart attack.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Let that be a lesson to
the rest of you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Father, why did you do it?

{\a1\pos(183,460)}Wow, you got a
Schwartz-vol going there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}How can I ever live
down your crime?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Get me some vapor rub now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(breathes heavily)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I hate... - My thighs.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}the name of Bernauer.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I cannot go on being Heinrich
Bernauer any longer.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Call me "Patches."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}What are you saying?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What do you mean?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I will be Erich Heinrich,
Erich Heinrich.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hemlich Heinrich Kerring Eldrich

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Henny Ickering Von Poopee.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Hello Mummy, guten tag, Poppy.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You are the son of Bernauer.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Call me "Buttons the Dwarf."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The man who wiped out my
entire family.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, you knew, Poppy.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, my God.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Sledge Fisthammer.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It hounded me all my life.
(Mike barks)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I did everything
humanly possible

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to make good on my
father's crime.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}What the, aw, sure I
forgive you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Do you understand?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Can you still be my friend?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sure, how about some

{\a1\pos(222,460)}General Foods
international coffee?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You two done over there?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Rest now.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The same symbols.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Translate them, please, Hideko.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}If you lived on the moon,
you'd be home by now.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Beings from Earth report,
before you depart

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"we must have one thing.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yams.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"You will leave behind
the two cats.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Cats, jeez, we're the
only cats on board.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, wait a minute.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Cats have a most unusual
appeal for us.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"But unfortunately, we have
none here on the moon.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"They interest us almost as much

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"as the two human beings
who joined us.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}They were delicious, by the way.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Fascinating. Meow.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Turn out, Luis.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}No, no, no, no.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Is it wise to open those doors
again for the two cats?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, I think so.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'll go.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'll go with you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, come on guys it's me,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Puffball and Taffy, come on.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}No, what?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Look, I won't drink out of

{\a1\pos(96,460)}your water glass anymore.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I'll stay off your couch, guys,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}come on, we've got nowhere
else to go, ow.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You rotten bastards.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Avenge me. (cat meows)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}No.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(coughs) Thank you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Captain's log: We're running
away as fast as we can.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Lost Inga and Omar, too bad.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We left the surface of
the moon at 6700.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This decision was based
on the warning

{\a1\pos(96,460)}which emanated from those
mysterious symbols.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Even though we were in doubt of

{\a1\pos(201,460)}the survival of
Selim and Sigrid,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}we had to make a quick decision

{\a1\pos(201,460)}in order not to
jeopardize our mission.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}My Dove Bar is melting,
gotta go.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}So, Mission Fraidy Cat
comes to a close.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Three hours and ten
minutes in flight,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}we're right on the button.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We just passed a neutral
line operating

{\a1\pos(96,460)}towards the Earth's
gravitational pull.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You gonna sell me down
the river too,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}you bastards? (barks)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Hey, the schmaltz is on fire.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}(barks)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Take over.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Scrappy, you should've gone
before we left.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}John!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It's ready, get the dressing.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(screams)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's their early
warning system,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}a cocker spaniel?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Give me that.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hideko, Hideko!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Throw yourself on the
flaming moon rock.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Give me that, come on.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Toro, Toro!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And don't come back. (laughs)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It can't burn in there,
no oxygen.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Quick thinking, Luis.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I think the dog should
have the medal.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yeah, well, how about a
Snausage or something?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That was a close one.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, I better go up and
relieve Ruskin.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Let him relieve himself. (laugh)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We'll name the Media Stone.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The oxygen fused it
into fire when

{\a1\pos(138,460)}it came into contact
with the gold.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Would you shut up.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Let me fix it for you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, it's not too bad, thank you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I can do that, here,
let me help.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Time you put us at the
Happy Chef, Captain.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Lunar Eagle 1 to Central
Earth Control.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Do you hear us, Central
Earth Control?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm making keys, over.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(Man): Earth Control to Lunar
Eagle 1, we hear you.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}We hear you, Lunar Eagle 1.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We have your position.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Why did you leave the moon?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We had an urgent departure,
please give us our position.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Your posi... tion.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Come in Central Earth Control,
we've lost you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We've lost you, Central
Earth Control.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come in.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're not talking to you

{\a1\pos(33,460)}until you're back on the moon.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Go ahead, splashdown,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}nobody'll be there when
you get there.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Clint Stuntender.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I don't understand it,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}we've lost Earth
contact completely.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Remember what the people
on the moon said?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}They have the power to
immobilize us at will.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, don't say that.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But they said it, and it
could be true.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Dr. Goebels, I'm ready, oh.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Lie down, Dr. Heinrich, there's
nothing you can do now.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We're on our way back to Earth.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I missed the takeoff?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I missed it all?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh, no.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Lie down, please, please.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Navigator to Captain, meteor
clusters directly ahead,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Point 3, 4.3.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(suspenseful music)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}The meteors.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Check. Rod!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Dear Mom, really in trouble,
more later.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's just like what we saw
earlier, only backwards.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's .1, zero minus XC.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, wait I mean EX.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Is this the end of Captain
Chuck Hardslab?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(screeching noise)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm scared.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Two swarms of meteor clusters,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}we're horizontal 10 degrees.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(machine beeps)

{\a1\pos(306,460)}What?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Direct point of contact
Lunar Eagle 1!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Over here, Rod.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Okay, our special today
is roast pork,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}that's served with thyme and...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's, no, wait, wait.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Captain, we're being fertilized!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(all imitate rocket)

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Try...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I can only try once.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Okay, wait, wait.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, wait, now, no, wait.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom imitates rocket)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}.5.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}No.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}.7 and 5/10.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, wait, that's not it.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}I hope.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Look out for that L train!
(imitates train)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, and here we go.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That was great.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We're all clear.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(stutters) Help, Mike, Mike!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(sings) The kitchen of
tomorrow is calling me.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(timer dings)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, my cake is ready.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, my God, my head.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, I didn't know I
could do that.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, make it stop. (whimpers)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Mike! Mike, come see what your
new girlfriend is doing.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Mike!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Gypsy, guys, what's going on?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(sings) Hello, honey, please
wash your hands,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I want to use Servo to
make shank of lamb.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Chutney?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Nuvina, weird singing lady
from the future.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}My robot friends are not
meant to be enslaved.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Robots are machines like
anything else,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}they're meant to be used and
put on the shelf.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's anti-robot.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}My head, dizzy. (stutters)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay, I'll be with
you in a moment.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(sings) Nuvina, even though
it breaks my heart,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm going to have to ask
you to depart.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, yay!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, get bent, you
robot-loving toad.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, wow, look at the rocks.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Yeah, don't worry, guys, I'm
sure there'll be another

{\a1\pos(33,460)}magical, mystical, singing lady
coming along any time.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Yeah, that'll happen.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Come here, you. (stutters)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We'll be right back.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That or no more muffins
from you guys.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Are you ready to photograph
the Earth for us?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yes, Captain.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Luis, check the radio again.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Check.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, no, thank you, thank you,
I'll be fine.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Let me stand on my own two feet.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}See, I told you it's only
a passing thing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}John, I feel that I
must advise you,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}there was something wrong,
something unexplainable.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I know, I know, Makonen,
but everything

{\a1\pos(138,460)}is working perfectly
in the ship.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'm cold.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Jeez, everybody's whiny,
what's going on?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Most unusual.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That's what I wanted to
tell you, John.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Outside temperature reading is

{\a1\pos(138,460)}245 degrees below and
still falling.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yah mon.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's no wonder it's
cold in here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's 55 degrees.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Vargas, check the heat. Check.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Remember only Daddy can
touch the thermostat.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Captain, quick!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Captain Qwik is choco-ready.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Vargas.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}My God, Cuba is huge.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Why, this thing is moving.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}No, that's my thumb.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}From the North Pole
towards New York.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The Earth is being
rid of soapscum,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}thanks to thousands of
scrubbing bubbles!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Captain Anderson?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's me.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Hey, wait up.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm getting a reception,
Captain Anderson.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Good.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's a little blurred but I
think I can clear the picture.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, you've done a wonderful job.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Crow laughs)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, that's some picture.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Nothing's moving.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Cram it, Doogie.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Something must be
jammed in the TV.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Try New York.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Try jiggling the cord.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Mike coughs)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Wow, that really is cheesy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Mayor Dinkins declares New
York really cold,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}moves tennis inside.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There is something
wrong with it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's turned into an
artist's rendering.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}The machine's in perfect order.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(thunder crashes)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I guess Nancy Reagan's
back in town.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Mike and Crow laugh)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}'Cause she's cold.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}The craters.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}This kind of weather wouldn't
even faze the Midwest.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Uh-uh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Now it looks like Jerusalem.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This is flash freezing.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Bring Clarence Birdseye in.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'm obliged to agree.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}I agree.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}You do?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}By some scientific means, they,
whoever they are,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}they found a way to freeze all
molecular activity.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Those whizzing noises?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yes. - Whizzing?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}In other words,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Wombie, yucky noodle.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}they have frozen the
lower atmosphere by

{\a1\pos(12,460)}extracting all therms back.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}But how could that be possible?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Sounds very simple.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Let me come over there.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It is the principle of the
hydrogen bomb in reverse.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}You see?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I agree with you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Through some superior device,
they've found

{\a1\pos(117,460)}a means of achieving a
glacial phenomenon.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Yes, Mr. Flintstone.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That must have been that
strange noise we heard.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(Crow beeps)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I somehow feel it's an
earthly power.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Gentlemen, let's
make no mistake.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Our situation is
extremely serious.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}But goofy.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We are caught in orbit.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}In order to survive, we have to

{\a1\pos(33,460)}remain at our present altitude.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}How long?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I don't know.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Until we find the solution.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Let's go to work.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, and we must be naked.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}John, I'm getting London.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This is Radio Clash, this
is Radio Clash.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}(Man): Nothing like this has
ever happened before.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}For the past 10 hours,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}the North American continent

{\a1\pos(222,460)}remains in an
isolation of silence.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}No contact can be
established by any means
of communication

{\a1\pos(54,460)}with either Canada, the United
States, or Mexico.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I don't like this station.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}In spite of the intense cold
gripping the world...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}No. Try the FM.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, some music, come on.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}The light FM.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Stand by, we will keep
you informed.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}We now return to our
regular program.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Why let him run the radio?

{\a1\pos(162,460)}No wonder all
communication is shut off.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}And I don't think we could even

{\a1\pos(138,460)}come down out of our
final orbit.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I'm afraid you're right, Luis.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Lou-I, we gotta go.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We are insulated.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We are safe in here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yes, but for how long?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Ooh, la, la.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I don't know.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're operating now under
automatic control,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}how about the engines, Martel?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The engines? Merde, I forgot.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The engines are overworked.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's only a matter of time
before the turbines give out.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}To have come so
close to success.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And such a hunk.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yes, this may work.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It simply has to.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Listen.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You want to know a secret?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Our emergency space taxi works
on atomic power, right?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Right. - Right.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We must fashion a
powerful atom bomb

{\a1\pos(12,460)}by assembling and uniting a
number of bomblets,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}such as we used on the moon.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Two men drawn by lot,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Walk into a bar.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}should pilot the taxi over
a live volcano.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I am thinking of Popocatepetl.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Popo caca coo coo.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And drop the bomb
into the crater.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The resulted explosion might
thaw the big freeze.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yes, but,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm such a wonk.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}how will the space taxi crash

{\a1\pos(33,460)}through the frozen atmosphere?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(Tom speaks German)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Penetration rocket.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}As it disperses the
micro-meteoric clouds

{\a1\pos(12,460)}it should break an opening

{\a1\pos(96,460)}for the space taxi
to go through.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yes, it could be piloted through
frozen space, but...

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- But. - But.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We have to inform you
that it might

{\a1\pos(33,460)}disintegrate in the explosion.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}That's why I said the two men
should be drawn by lot.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Because

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The night belongs to lovers.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}their chances to return to
the Lunar Eagle

{\a1\pos(180,460)}are quite remote.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}He'll do it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Mickey Rourke is a genius.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}You go.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}John, it is worth the risk to
break up the big freeze,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}which paralyzes not
only the country,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but the whole continent.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know as I, this is our duty,
only hope.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Wanna see me in a towel?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And gentlemen, it's
our only chance

{\a1\pos(54,460)}to accomplish our mission and
bring the ship back to Earth.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Captain, do you have to go
potties? (laughs)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Very well, we'll make the bomb.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I want to have long bread and
cheat on my wife.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}La?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(sings with French accent) If
you think I'm sexy,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and you want my body, come on
baby, let me know.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Careful now, don't drop it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(laughs) There, it's ready.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oops.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Shall I till the others
it's okay now?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yes, go ahead.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(speaks French)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(Mike whistles)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What are you doing?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I merely finished it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You disconnected it,
you crazy man.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(all laugh)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But you don't understand.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This is our chance.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Think!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}If the North American continent
would remain frozen,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}your greatest rival
would be powerless.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I am one with you,
don't you see?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}This way, we control the West,
and ultimately the world.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}What do you mean "we"?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It is French for "yes," you see.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You are not one of us?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I am not only a scientist, I am
also a human being,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}not an insane murderer.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You traitor! (Mike laughs)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I betray no one,
particularly not myself.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I want to live, too.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He's rabid, look out!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Crow speaks French)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ugh, the stench smells like
Camembert and espresso.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Anderson, help, help!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's me! It's me!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, that hurts.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, I gotta quit doing that.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Anderson, help!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Get off my Mittens.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Jacques Brell is under siege.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}USA, whoo!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}He tried to sabotage the bomb.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Is it all right now?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}All I have to do is
reset the fuse.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Yeah, I'm pure beef.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Pregnant, not pregnant.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Pregnant, not pregnant.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Pregnant.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You son of a...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Mine's busted, can I
get a new one?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Good.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I am one to go.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Somebody ate my Fudgicle.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And I am the other.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(sings) Ebony, ivory.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}None of us is free to
choose his ancestors

{\a1\pos(12,460)}or his deeds, good or bad.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Whatever, just glad I don't
have to go, poor sap.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}God bless you all, till
we meet again.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I need several days to get my
affairs together.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Man, that was close.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}At 0600 universal time,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'll be dead.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}a space taxi piloted by Dr.
Erich Heinrich and myself

{\a1\pos(54,460)}will leave the Lunar Eagle to
drop atomic bomblets

{\a1\pos(117,460)}into the crater of the
volcano Popocatepetl

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Poopee caca poo poo.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}in an attempt to break
the big freeze.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, and one more thing:

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I don't want to die. (sobs)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}This is Dr. Ruskin signing off.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Probably forever.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(dog whines)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Can I eat you when you die?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, and the puppy volunteered in
my place. (laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I don't recall asking you
to pick me up.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I can't go, I got a family.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Take care of him, will you?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(Tom speaks German)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I bet he'd trade that dog

{\a1\pos(54,460)}for two or three more lines.
(kisses)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}This is my secret
place down here,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I only let a few of
my friends in.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(with German accent) Snuggle in,
mein strudlepants.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The no-frills control panel.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(Tom imitates music)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Dr. Ruskin to Captain Anderson.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Cabin pressure equal,
ready for launch.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Jeez, about time.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Penetration rocket.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Don't say that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}My work here is done.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now, you can all just look at my
clearly defined area.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, Tin-Tin, take your
adventure elsewhere.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Ready.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(all laugh)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ladies and gentlemen, the
budget just ran out,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}so from here out just
bear with us.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}David, we'll be over the target

{\a1\pos(54,460)}in one minute and 12 seconds.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You'll be dead in one minute,
13 seconds.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's the first time you
called me "David."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}My name's Larry.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'm sorry you're my partner
in this, David.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'd hoped that you would
carry on my work.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You behave.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You don't think we'll
survive this.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You really are as
dumb as you look.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I don't know.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}What am I saying, no we're not
going to survive it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}If the bomb breaks,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}if you pull out in time.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Looks like they're in
a Wham video.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Set the bomb release, David.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Back seat drivers.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The bomb's ready.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We'll be over the target
in 12 seconds.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hold the course.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Holding steady.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ready for release.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, God, yes.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Five, four,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Why did they need two
people for this?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}two, one, zero!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You guys ever sat on a
German before?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I mean, right on him.
It's weird.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They dropped it,
Captain Anderson.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Flopped it?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I knew they couldn't be trusted.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}This backdrop is so lavish.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Lemmon Sisters II, dead by dawn.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It worked!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It worked!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, I've never been so happy
in my whole life,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}oh, it didn't work,
it didn't work.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Pull out, David, pull out!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I can't, it's pulling us down,
I can't.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Give me that.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}The bomb wasn't strong enough.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They're in trouble.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I say, old man.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I refuse to feel bad.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}What are we gonna do?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}When you wet your pants, you
wet mine, David.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}God bless you, David.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Did I sneeze?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, we're gonna die, yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Whoa, that's gotta hurt.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(laughs) There was clearly
a stick involved.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(explosion)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Journey to the
beginning of time.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And now, my official report.
(retches)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sangay. Sangay Allah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's foreign for
"Better you than me."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It was the will of God.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(slow, melancholy music)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, will you look at this,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I guess my stick is shorter than
the German's. (laughs)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Even though I prayed.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, they brought dogs, monkeys,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}anybody think to bring a parka?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}John. John, we are caught
in the big freeze.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Reverse!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's so cold.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hold me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Switching back to chemical fuel.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's no use, it won't work.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The freeze, it's
filling the ship.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Visibility's almost zero.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Not good.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}John, look, look.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Who dumped dry ice on
the console?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Captain, I left the vent open,
I'm sorry.

{\a1\pos(54,96)}I'm not a very good captain,
am I?

{\a1\pos(54,96)}Okay, put your pencils down,
let's see your wagers.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Darn, my coffee's cold.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'll take advantage of

{\a1\pos(33,460)}the big freeze to warm myself.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let's draw straws to see

{\a1\pos(96,460)}who we cut open and
crawl inside.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We're frozen in space.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Frozen in space!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(sings) Oh, the weather
outside is frightful.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Sir, is it too late for me

{\a1\pos(33,460)}to back out of this expedition?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}So, lunch? Cold cuts?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Sorry, sorry.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It says, "Cold enough for you,
ha ha."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hideko, Hideko, the
same symbols.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Will you translate them?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It says, "You die, Joe."

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Vargas.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hideko, please, please.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We didn't like the cats, eat
ice, Earth dinks.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It says, "Now you have
seen our strength.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"But we have seen your
human strength,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"the way your people have
sacrificed themselves

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"to save the others.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Still, you must die.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}"To those you left behind, we
have also learned that

{\a1\pos(33,460)}"all your Earthly emotions are
not evil and war-like,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(all sobbing)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"that you have come
to us in peace.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Your people on Earth

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Flowerpot.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"have been in
suspended animation.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Pitchfork, noodle, prince.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"and have not been harmed.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Return to Earth at once,
and someday,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"when you come back, you
will be welcome."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}P.S. We'll give you your
stinking cats back.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They've scratched up our
entire planet.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(slow, dramatic music)

{\a1\pos(75,460)}(Man): Lunar Eagle 1, Lunar
Eagle 1, do you hear me?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Captain Anderson, stand by for
the director of the ISO.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(scoffs) That guy's still alive?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Captain, I have no
words to express

{\a1\pos(138,460)}our feelings that you
made it back.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Something most unusual has

{\a1\pos(138,460)}happened to us in the
last 16 hours.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}He's listening.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We cannot explain it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You were lucky to have
escaped at all.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Prepare for landing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I did it, I saved us all,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I'm Chunk Ironchest and I won!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Whoo!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}My guest tonight via satellite,
the Earth.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}So, what do you think
we learned here?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That, three, maybe four
people would have

{\a1\pos(96,460)}worked a whole lot
better than 12.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, and always bring cats.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Yeah. Pretty, though.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Cats appease moon people.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}There, there.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Now, now.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Here, here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You guys, that was my one
shot at happiness,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}my one grab for that
brass ring of love.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}My one shot at true love in
this lonely world.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}God, this is good chocolate
chip cookie dough.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Mike, magical singing future
ladies are a dime a dozen.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You'll probably run
into her again.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}In the meantime, letters?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Yeah, I think that's
a good idea.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(sings) This first letter is
from Melody Muñoz.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I must ask you not to
ever do that again.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's probably a good idea.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Okay, put that on still
store there, Cambot.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}This one says, "Dear Mike, Tom,
Crow, Gypsy, Cambot

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"and the rest of the crew on the
Satellite of Love,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}"Hi, my name is Melody Muñoz,
and I just wanted to

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"tell you how much I
enjoy your show.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"I go over to Kim Metnor's
house every weeknight

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"at midnight just to
watch your show.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Kim and I got our whole biology
class to watch it."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Isn't Kim dating Rog now?
(laughs)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I think so.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I don't believe it, so cute.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}All right, I got one more,
here's, uh...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I got a couple more.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This is from Eric Abel.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Put this on still store.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Eric writes, "Let me begin by
saying that if I could,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"I would have the show hooked up

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"intravenously to my right
arm permanently.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}"When I look for a girlfriend,
one of my

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"deciding factors is if she
likes your show or not."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Is that wrong?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, it's not wrong,
it's strange,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}the whole intravenous thing.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, that's wrong.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'd back off of that, Eric.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Anyway, this next one is signed,
"13 and 12."

{\a1\pos(54,96)}Put that on still store, and
there's a lovely picture...

{\a1\pos(117,96)}So, do you think that's
13 or 12 there?

{\a1\pos(138,68)}I'm guessing it's 13.

{\a1\pos(33,68)}But it could be 13 a year ago.

{\a1\pos(54,96)}Anyway, "We are 13 and 12, we
are fans of your show.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"It's great and everything,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"but there could be a
few changes."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Uh-oh, here it comes.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- "You should rewire Crow,
- What?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"so that he talks with an
Austrian accent."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I've thought about that.
- Why?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Fill Tom Servo's head
with gumballs

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"so that he's not
such an airhead."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, I think, hey!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(laughs)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well, hey, evil nincompoops,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}put that in your pipe and do
the hokey-pokey.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah. - (blows raspberry)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You see there, Frank,
that's the trouble

{\a1\pos(96,460)}with relationships,
they're trouble.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yeah, but...

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(both shout)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Frank, I have said no
friends in the house.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}But, it's her, it's the lady.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(sings) I can fulfill your
wildest dreams.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Frank, my man.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(sings) I want a croissant.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Dare to dream, Frank.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Nuvina's gonna crash here
tonight. (laughs)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}So, where's my croissant?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hey!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I'm sure she really liked you,
Frank.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(show theme music)