Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988–1999): Season 6, Episode 2 - Hercules - full transcript

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ In the not-too-distant
future ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Next Sunday A.D. ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ There was
a guy named Joel ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Not too different
from you or me ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ He worked
at Gizmonic Institute ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Just another face
in a red jumpsuit ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ He did a good job
cleaning up the place ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ But his bosses
didn't like him ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ So they shot him
into space ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ We'll send him
cheesy movies ♪

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- ♪ The worst we can find ♪
- ♪ La,la,la ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ He'll have to sit
and watch them all ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ And we'll monitor his mind ♪
- ♪ La,la,la ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Now keep in mind
Joel can't control ♪

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Where the movies begin or end ♪
- ♪ La,la,la ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Because he used
those special parts ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ To make
his robot friends ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ♪ Robot Roll Call ♪
- Let's go.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ♪ Cambot ♪
- Pan left.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- ♪ Gypsy ♪
- Hi, girl.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ♪ Tom Servo ♪
- What a cool guy.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- ♪ Crow ♪
- He's a wisecracker.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ If you're wondering
how he eats and breathes ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- ♪ And other science facts ♪
- ♪ La, la, la ♪

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ Then repeat to yourself,
"It's just a show ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ I should really
just relax" ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ For "Mystery Science
Theater 3000." ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hi, everybody.
I'm Joel Robinson,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and these are my robots
and friends,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Gypsy, Crow, and...
- Hi.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Tom Servo.
- How are you?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And it's
casual day up here

{\a1\pos(96,460)}on the Satellite
of Love,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}so for this segment,
we're gonna wing it.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Sure.
- Sounds like fun.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- That's great.
- Fine.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Good. Uh-huh.
- Yep.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- So...
- ( chuckles )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}winging it.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Uh...
- Huh?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- What?
- What? What?

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Nothing.
- Oh, I thought you were...

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Uh-uh.
- No.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Hey!
- W-- what?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, I forgot.
- Oh.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Well...

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( chuckles )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Robot voice: Commercial
sign in five seconds.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Commercial sign now.
We'll be right back.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What she said.
- Whatever.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Pretty.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( theme song playing )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( humming a tune )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, look at that.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, the Thompson Twins
are calling.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( chuckles )
Yes. Gotta go.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Yes, Joel? Insert perfunctory
acknowledgement here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Joel, my invention today

{\a1\pos(222,460)}is for all
the right reasons.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Because stress levels aren't
high enough in America,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}because people need to know
how very important you are,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and because you may be
in line for a movie

{\a1\pos(36,460)}when that important
project deadline comes and goes,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm talking about
the cellular desk.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You see,
with a cellular desk,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I can live my job.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Why, I can take an intimidating
meeting anywhere.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Why, just today,
I was out for a walk,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}going through some files,
and I realized

{\a1\pos(12,460)}that it had been a while
ce Frank's last employee review.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Frank, could I see you
in my office?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm right here.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Ah, Frank.
Take a seat.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Frank, I was just
going through some files,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and I realized
it had been a while

{\a1\pos(222,460)}since your
last review.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}k, could I see the Frank file--
- I'm right here!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ah, uncooperative.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hostile.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( grunts )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Uncoordinated.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( sighs )
Frank, Frank, Frank.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, Bearwiches?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Whew, I'm glad
we're hourly.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yeah. You know,
John Lennon said, sirs,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Instant karma's
gonna get you,"

{\a1\pos(138,460)}but now you can get
instant karma.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( laughs )
That's right, Joel.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What goes around
comes around,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but now you don't
have to wait for it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And no more confusion
about what incident

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- correlates to what action.
- Mm-hmm.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Just watch.
- Oh, say, Joel,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I just sent my whole allowance
to Sally Struthers.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh,
to sponsor a child?

{\a1\pos(162,460)}No, for her.
I just feel sorry for her.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Sure. We all do.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, let's check out
what your karma is, mister.

{\a1\pos(246,460)}- Okay.
- Simply pour contents

{\a1\pos(138,460)}into a medium-size
mixing bowl...

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mm-hmm.
- add water...

{\a1\pos(141,460)}and, presto,
there's your instant karma.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Wow. Strawberry
licorice. Great.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Wow. Cool.
- How 'bout this?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Servo, I cleaned up
your room today,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}'cause I know your arms
are useless and everything.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh. Thanks,
I think.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- No problem.
- All right.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Let's see
what happens.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}d a water to the instant karma.
- Smells good.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Okay,
anything happening?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Joel, I can't
really explain it,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}but I've got
this incredible sense

{\a1\pos(180,460)}of inner peace
and well-being.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And a Snickers bar.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Here you go, Crow.
- Whoa.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Lucky duck.
Wow, man.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You know, Tom Servo,
there's also bad karma.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Remember the other day
hen you borrowed Crow's Danskin?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You stretched it
and then pitted it out.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Well...
- Yeah? So?

{\a1\pos(78,460)}let's see what happens.
We'll add a little water here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}What could possibly
happen to me for that one?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}it up. Oh, yep, here it comes.
- For crying out loud.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, no! My aunt's
coming to take me

{\a1\pos(180,460)}to the Michael
Bolton concert!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, man.
I'm really sorry.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, we've got
some pretty good karma

{\a1\pos(96,460)}going up here on
the Satellite of Love.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}What do you think,
sirs? Hmm?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Think you've got
good karma, eh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Then how come you're
going to be watching

{\a1\pos(264,460)}another
Hercules film?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And the very first
Hercules film,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}the one that started it all.
( chuckles )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Well,
we all shine on,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}don't we, Mr. Robinson?
( chuckles )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Frank, send in
the movie.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'm right--
( grunts )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Frank?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, absent.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( all vocalizing )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( alarm buzzing )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh! We got movie time!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Movie time!
We have movie time!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}looks like a high school play.
- ( music playing )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yeah. Cool play.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Remember, today's
"Hercules" made from

{\a1\pos(201,460)}genuine Steve
Reeves parts.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Sylva Koscina
says Sylva's-- ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ My movie has
a first name ♪

{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ It's
O.S.C.A.R. ♪

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- No.
- Real musical, huh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hmm, Stephen Hawking
presents

{\a1\pos(96,460)}the silly string theory.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, look, there's
the constellation Feces

{\a1\pos(222,460)}right below
Taurus the bull.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, now that's not--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I don't think that--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ( thunder crashes )
- Oh, Ted Turner's

{\a1\pos(222,460)}colorizing
the universe now.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hercules!
- Hercules!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Gets bigger.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Last night ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ I think we've
seen this all before. ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, he's the finder
of lost loves.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}No, that's
James Franciscus.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}James-- oh.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, where's
the bouncing ball?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Are we supposed
to be singing now?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Gods to whom
he belonged. ♪

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yet even he suffered from
painful hemorrhoids.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You know,
I got the feeling

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hercules is gonna learn
an important lesson

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and kick
some serious butt.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}mortal weakness is cheesecake.
( chuckles )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let's watch, huh?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, I hope they aren't Herc's
mortal weakness.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Pan flute master Zamfir
was arrested today

{\a1\pos(96,460)}naked and drunk,
running through a goat herd."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( bleats )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( horse neighs )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Huh? What?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Flicka! No!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Kibbles and bits!
Kibbles and bits.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Gotta get me some
kibbles and bits.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Put it in second!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Woof.
- Ah-ah-ah-ah.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- That's a guy.
- Help!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's a student
driver.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ugh.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Stop!
- ( gasps )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( humming a tune )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, she dropped
an egg.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, it's--
- Oh. Oh.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Oh.
- Wow.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Say...

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Hey, Herc,
got a match?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Not since
Superman died.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Pah-pum.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, that's either Herc
or Joe Piscopo. Can't tell.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Great shot.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Wait. This is
ancient Greece.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}They didn't
have ruins yet.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Well-- hmm.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Eddie Rabbitt.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Mm, I'm driving
my life away-- ♪ Huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, it's a Dodge.
Ram tough.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Aw,
just chuck her.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Hey, who's gonna
pay the fare here?"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Why, it's a Comforest
adjustable rock.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Does this
bug you?"

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Flink, flink.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( gasping )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"I went home with you?"

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I thank you,
and I thank the gods

{\a1\pos(96,460)}for having brought you
here today

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and for saving me.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}I must admit
I was frightened for you,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}watching those
runaway horses.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Have I mentioned
I'm immense and immortal?"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}How do you feel?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Better.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Did I get anything
on my bust?"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm still trembling,
I guess.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What's the matter?

{\a1\pos(162,460)}Why do you sit
and stare at me like that?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Well,
you know it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}So few women
come this way.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}"With
so few clothes."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And so? As long as you're here,
- I might as well.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I never saw a girl
more beautiful.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Woman: Oh.
- Sweet talker.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I've come a long way.
Seeing you is worth it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- How simple men are.
- Crow: Tell him, sister.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}As though I were
a plant or an animal.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Tom: I'd water you.
- Still, I thank you, you know?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, looks like
an early "Baywatch."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm telling the truth.
Don't thank me for it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Thank my
personal trainer."

{\a1\pos(33,460)}"So, want to look for agates
or something?"

{\a1\pos(57,460)}You couldn't be
anyone but Hercules the Theban.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Thank you."

{\a1\pos(264,460)}I know
you're expected.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Everything will
change, they say.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}I...
( sniffs )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Holy cow, I'm hungry.
I gotta go."

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hmm?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}By the gods, everything's burnt
by this time.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Still, Lassie will taste good
right now.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Ugh.
- Hercules: No.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Sit. Stay.
- Hercules: Well done, perhaps.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Mmm. Hey,
want some meat?"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No Pace Picante sauce?
Get the rope.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Will you have a piece?
- No.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- "Of that?"
- Hercules: Go on.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Come on.
Taste it all."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ehh. This is
really weird, Herc.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Go on.
- No more, thank you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"I'm on Jenny Craig."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I will start where
your lips have touched.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Why, how dare you
be so audacious?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm too hungry
to help it.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}"Hey, it's my
piece of meat. I'll bite it

{\a1\pos(96,460)}where I want to."
( gobbles )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Hey, as long as
you're over there,

{\a1\pos(99,460)}hook me a Primo
out of the fridge, will you?"

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( imitates woman )
"Pig."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Four, eh, buddy?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Oh, wouldn't
you know? A flat."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Hey, you got
a box wrench?"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That is no work
for a princess.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yes, you are Iole,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}daughter of Pelias,
king of Jolco.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}e royal standard on the chariot
told me your name.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"I used to lift
with your brother."

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Here,
let me do it.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I can work
much faster.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}There's lots of time

{\a1\pos(138,460)}to return to a city
that I hate so.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Detroit?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}That's no way to welcome
a stranger.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Only, you have
no right to be here.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Your father knows about it.
- He didn't ask you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It was a question of
teaching the art of war

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to Iphitus, my brother
and you offered to.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Joel: A fetus?
- Isn't that the same thing?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}No. You know
the story of my family.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ A man named Brady. ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Somebody spoke to you
about us.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Did Gene tell you
I liked you?"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You remember it
well, then.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ Ah, yes,
I remember it well. ♪

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Was it
really so bad?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Excuse me while
I have a strange interlude."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I remember it now.
- Joel: Uh-oh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}r all that went on. Is it wrong
to be as happy as I was then?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Joel: ( sighs ) Oh, boy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}But the gods won't
answer that question.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}A simple yes or no would
have been fine.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They turn from me
when I ask.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I was only a child
that day 10 years ago.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Previously
on "Hercules"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It had been such
a happy afternoon for me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We were returning from
the hunt with my Uncle Aeson,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}who was king of Jolco
at that time.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}He insisted
that his son Jason

{\a1\pos(138,460)}ride in his chariot,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}together
with my brother Iphitus,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}my father, and I.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"And the horses.
Don't forget us."

{\a1\pos(33,460)}At our side rode the captain
of the escort, Chiron,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}who had angry words with
the king on the previous day...

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"I'm angry."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}though we did not know
what it was about.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- In the woods...
- Guard halt.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}we suddenly saw
a platoon of soldiers...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Left face.
- coming toward us...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, I found a pack
of Trojans in the road.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- leading a man in chains.
- ( laughs ) That's disgusting.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Look what
you did. Bad."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}My uncle stopped
the chariot.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I tried to see
the face of the prisoner,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}but he knelt with his head
bent very low.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}The king whispered something
in my father's ear,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and my father got down
from the chariot

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and went to talk with
the officer of the platoon.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Ah, but first he pulled his
skirt out of his underpants.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- What is he charged with?
- "Blocking the road."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He killed a woman
and robbed her of what

{\a1\pos(117,460)}little money she had,
Your Excellency.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Oh, oui,
I did that thing."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Hmm. Wrap him up.
I'll take him."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You like to kill, eh?
- Iole: "To kill,"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that was the only word
I was able to understand

{\a1\pos(12,460)}of the brief conversation
that followed.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But I knew somehow

{\a1\pos(117,460)}that the man must be
condemned to death.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"It's a murderer.
Nothing to worry about."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}My father came back
to the chariot

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and whispered something
to my uncle.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Excuse me. Are you
Héctor Elizondo?"

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The king shook his head,
and we started off again.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( all humming a tune
over narration )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}...the thought
of that prisoner's death

{\a1\pos(201,460)}swept over me
like a bad omen.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"...Three: The Final Conflict."
- ( imitates rim shot )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( theme song playing )

{\a1\pos(246,460)}Hmm,
dark and stormy night.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Iole: Later on, my sleep
was filled with nightmares.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The memory of what had happened
in the woods would not leave me.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Again and again, I pictured
what would certainly be

{\a1\pos(183,460)}the end
of that terrible story...

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yeah, never eat
Mexican at bedtime.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the condemned man brought
to the place of execution,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}the executioner
advancing to him,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}grasping his ax
and me powerless to help.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( screams )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"I dreamed I kissed
Gavin MacLeod."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}With my scream,
I heard other screams

{\a1\pos(12,460)}echoing from the farthest
end of the palace.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( screams echoing )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}My terror was even greater

{\a1\pos(138,460)}when I noticed that
my nurse's bed was empty.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Yeah, there was a real
rvant problem in ancient Greece.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"I decided to put
on some socks

{\a1\pos(264,460)}My feet
were freezing."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Out of my mind with fear,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I ran to the throne room.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"It's a going-out-
of-business sale.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}We've lost our empire,
d everything is priced to move."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}ld scarcely see the body of the
king as they carried him out

{\a1\pos(96,460)}amidst the clamor
and confusion.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, boy.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}My father stood there
petrified...

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Joel: "Oh, who bled here?
staring at his brother's blood.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Get me
some club soda."

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Then he turned, and a look
of fear crossed his face,

{\a1\pos(120,460)}for the stand
behind the throne was empty.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Looks like a
Jim Dine sculpture.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The Golden Fleece was gone.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"But I digress.
How was your day?"

{\a1\pos(183,460)}Jason escaped
with the Golden Fleece...

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Tom: ( snores )
ron, too, but you know the rest.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}So that's why
Chiron was accused

{\a1\pos(117,460)}of killing the king,
kidnapping Jason,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and stealing
the Golden Fleece.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And for what reason?
- For revenge.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And do you believe that?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's important.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You think that people lie?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}No, never.
Yes, always.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}But I've heard it wasn't
Chiron who killed the king,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}it was the king's brother
who murdered him.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's not true!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Why do you relive the story
if it's not true?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Hey, my turd bag's
full over here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Could you empty
this thing?"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They all speak
about the past here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}urder happened to put my father
on his brother's throne,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}but I know
he wouldn't do that.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}gic. Now that the Golden Fleece
is gone, he must officiate.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Oh!
- Oh!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}But when he tries to aid them,
why, they don't care.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}My poor father's
above your suspicions.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}For all our sakes,
I hope so.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Anyway, this should hold
till you get to Sparta."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I see you're joking.
- ( all weakly laugh )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I remember somebody saying
you were a friend of Chiron.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Have you come for revenge
and more suffering?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Wait. Would you allow me
to accompany you?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Tom: "...On piano?"
- Please.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Let's start the movie.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I'm not much of a carpenter.
It won't work.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's better to let me
take you back to Jolco.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"There's a new Sophocles
play opening tonight."

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Come with me, please.
Pretty please with Herc on top.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I would like
to see your eyes

{\a1\pos(117,460)}with happiness there
in place of hate,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}because I can understand
just the way you feel.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}But I will
help you now.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Believe me,
I'll protect you.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Hercules,
tell me again.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Why didn't we
take the chariot?"

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Hush, my darling.
It's all right."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Could we stop
at a Super America soon?"

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"No, darling, it's okay.
Just hush."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hercules now concludes
his broadcasting day.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Good night,
and may Herc bless.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( hums test signal )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Where is the sample?"
Oops.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Boy, I'd hate
to shovel those steps, you know?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Just ugh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Hiya. Hercules,
reservation for two."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Might be under
Herakles there."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Oh, no, really,
they take this cheese.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They get it really hot,
and then they pour

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ritzina all over the top
and then they

{\a1\pos(138,460)}light it, and they
say, "Opa."

{\a1\pos(54,460)}As the worm eats the fruit
that matures...

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Ugh!
- Ugh!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}...men stalk their prey.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}He will
come here for you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}When you see the man,
he will wear one sandal.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Wait no longer.
The man's a slayer.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She has a creamy
strawberry center.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Will you escape
destruction?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He wears
but a single sandal.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}When he comes,
take care.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}But why does he
hate me like that?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He does'nt know you
are the man he hates.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, Father...
- Hmm? Oh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- ...how can you take stock
in these oracles?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And this one isn't
even pretty.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Destiny knows
all about all men,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and when your time comes,
you, too, will know.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}You witch.
Get away, do you hear?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They will speak
no more.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}When someone angers
the gods, they finish.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Why, you--
- No, no!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Can we not fight
just this once?"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You respect the gods
and their oracles.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They are
the gods' messengers.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Just asking
about the oracle."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I shall give an order
that any man

{\a1\pos(180,460)}coming to Jolco
wearing one sandal...

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Um, hello.
ill be put to death immediately.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- You!
"How long have you been there?"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Who is that?
- Hercules,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}the master of arms
that you sent for.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hercules the Theban.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}"Hey,
I'm no feeb."

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Come forward.
Crow: "May I take your luggage?"

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"You're next."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Welcome to Jolco.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"...A planned
community."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They say you're
almost a god.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well, then, why aren't you
invisible?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Stop it, Iphitus.
This man saved my life today.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Marvelous. That's a way to make
a fine impression.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}You'd better listen
what I have to say to Hercules,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}because it
concerns you, too.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}You're here
to reinforce Iolcus.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Crow: "Done. And?"
- Hercules will guide you

{\a1\pos(201,460)}until you're
able to reign.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}But I--
he must show you,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}because I want
to give the throne up.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Father!
- Crow: "Princess, please."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Because each year,
I grow more anxious.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I can't go on
being king forever.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I can't go on.
- Joel: "I'll go on."

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Father, you've been drinking
too much tonight.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I guess you're right,
but it won't stop it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Can't you see?
- ( hiccups )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hercules, I must beg you
to help us at Jolco.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}aid you were drinking too much.
Jeez." ( mutters )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You must help to keep
the throne for my boy here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}If I find
that you are loyal,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}ill grant you anything you want
out of Jolco.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Tom: Anything?
- I hope you sleep well.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( gasps, stammers )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}One moment.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He may be an imposter.
How do I know?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Have another drink,
Dad."

{\a1\pos(54,460)}When I saw him, my horses,
they were running away.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}"Here,
bench-press me."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He stopped my horses.
I knew who he was.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Certainly.
"Well, he could be Roy Rogers."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}but I can't depend
on the eyes of a girl.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}What are you
trying to say?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"I'm a pig."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Nothing, don't be
upset about it, Iole.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Why don't we
talk about it later?"

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Well, then?
- Let me do it, Father.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"You a billiards
man, Herc?"

{\a1\pos(36,460)}All right, then.
rove yourself fearless. Come on.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"What are you doing?
That's my good spear."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( grunting )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"I'll bend it
back later."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Good, Hercules.
- Crow: "Sit, Hercules ."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Enough now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Iole may show you
to your quarters.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Until tomorrow,
Pelias.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, here's where
the working out pays off.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Why do you have to treat me
as if I were a baby?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Joel: ( mimics baby crying )
- He's taken you in

{\a1\pos(201,460)}just as he's
charmed Iole.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And you hate him because
you're weak and impulsive.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"I'm not. Am I?"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hercules
is a guarantee.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}He's more than a match to play
against Argo,

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Laertes, Tifi,
e Iolcurie, and all those others

{\a1\pos(180,460)}who plan to get
the throne of Jolco.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I want that throne
for you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}row: "Lou, I want that throne."
- You know it's yours.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Joel, what was the deal
with the ancient Greeks? Huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, be careful.
You're talking about

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- the ancient Greeks, Crow.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But this constellation
jazz, come on.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}After 2,000 years,
can we finally admit

{\a1\pos(222,460)}the emperor
has no clothes?

{\a1\pos(204,460)}Four stars.
"Oh, it's a great bear."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Right. Or Cassiopeia,
whatever the heck that is.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, what about Orion?
Okay, okay. I'll give you Orion.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I gotta admit
Orion's right,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but the rest of 'em,
it just doesn't make--

{\a1\pos(36,460)}( clears throat )
If I could step in here, please,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}lest we despoil
the reputation, Crow,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}of the founders
of democracy too much.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The reason you don't see
he same figures in the night sky

{\a1\pos(222,460)}is because
new constellations

{\a1\pos(180,460)}have never been
identified to reflect

{\a1\pos(201,460)}modern tastes
and sensibilities.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You've done that?
- I've done that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}A little help here,
Joel.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Watch carefully.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The first
grouping of stars,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}found in the southern sky,
forms a constellation

{\a1\pos(117,460)}for even the simplest
hayseed, Crow.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yes,
it's a ham sammich.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Fascinatingly,
the star to the left

{\a1\pos(96,460)}of the main group
forms a perfect pickle.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Next.
( clears throat )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}As winter
gives way to spring,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}the eastern sky
is ablaze with the glory

{\a1\pos(138,460)}of The New Christy
Minstrels.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Joel: New Christy Minstrels?
Who would have ever thought?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}ell, that's why you need people
like me and the Greeks, Joel.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Next.
- Oh, brother.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Sophist. Doughty seaman
just may be tempted

{\a1\pos(201,460)}to once again
navigate by the stars

{\a1\pos(138,460)}when they recognize
in this group of 11,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Guernica," Picasso's
cubist masterpiece

{\a1\pos(96,460)}portraying the horrors
of the Spanish Civil War.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, talk about
your modern sensibilities.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Really good job, Tom Servo...
- Thank you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}...for these renovations
of old constellations.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}nd I've salvaged the reputation
of the ancient Greeks.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Well done.
om, I regret my earlier sniping,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and if you'll allow me,

{\a1\pos(267,460)}I got
a constellation here.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Joel.
- Oh, well, that's really--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Here. It's a pencil.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- ( gasps )
- The eraser's almost gone.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Crow, don't mock me.
You're playing with fire.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, two dots.
It's a pencil.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}What could be
more modern?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I weep for the death
of the spirit and the soul.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, who doesn't?
We'll be right back.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Ennui.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( theme music playing )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Ah, where's
my Rémy Martin?"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Friends are visiting
from Europe.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Eh, you're
drinking my commode."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It is late for you
to visit here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}What is it, Eurysteus?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Nothing, but you
have made a mistake.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- "This is my room."
No, Hercules will train Iphitus

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- to reign here with success.
- "Right here on ESPN."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hercules was
Chiron's close friend.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He hasn't forgotten
what's happened to him.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}That took place years ago.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hercules is honest,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and honesty always
finds the truth,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- even after many years.
- Crow: Is it "Dr. No?"

{\a1\pos(54,460)}His purpose for coming here
is to clear Chiron's name.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Is it "The Millionaire?"

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Perhaps he'll find
something else more interesting.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Emotions, for example.
- Iole?

{\a1\pos(99,460)}Oh, it's him!
That guy who-- whoever it is.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Young people forget
their purposes sometimes.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- These kids today, I tell ya.
You should fear this man, I say.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You will see.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I know. I know.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Can I go
to bed now?"

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- What else?
- I'll be going now

{\a1\pos(138,460)}to my hiding place.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}As you promised, it was
the only reward I got.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}And the gold?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The gold? But you need
light to see it well.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's like blood
on my hands, bloody...

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Pussy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- like your brother was.
- Get out!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Very well.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Because I can wait
till you want me.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}( mocking )
se I can wait till you want me."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And don't slam
the screen door.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( door slams )
- D'oh!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's the punt, pass,
and kick competition.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's a Gore Vidal
fantasy.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Would you two
please stop that

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and get back
to training, please?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"I do solemnly
swear..."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}No more racing,
and I'm not joking.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Your heart's strained.
You can't force it.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}I know, Aesculapius,
I want to finish this marathon.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Better take him away.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}But I was training for months.
- Go on.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}"I wish
I was a doctor."

{\a1\pos(54,460)}They've all become fanatics
since Hercules arrived.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}They seem to worship
nothing but strength.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Their studies are neglected
for the glory of the arena.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Isn't that so,
Orpheus?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Who are you?"

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Yes, Laertes, for the moment,
poetry languishes.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Hey, can we
play through?!"

{\a1\pos(222,460)}And my lyre
will soon sing songs

{\a1\pos(117,460)}of nothing but heroes
and battles.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Why, look, Tifi.
Here's Argo.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- He seems to be furious.
- "I'm furious."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}All here
in the arena?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And have you all
changed to his ways?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( scoffs )
Talk to the men.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They speak only
of Hercules.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He's won their hearts.
They won't listen to me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}To my way of thinking,
he could start them

{\a1\pos(96,460)}battling against
their elders.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- No, Laertes.
- Joel:"Honey..."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Just watch Hercules,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}a born master
of these things.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}If he'll fight here,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}he can bring defeat
to our enemies.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( gasps )
Hold your cards.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Argos:
Look at him

{\a1\pos(201,460)}standing with
Castor and Pollux.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Ugh!
- Ugh!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Deceit does not go with
a man of such qualities.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Hey, what are you guys
looking at?"

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Look!
- Joel: "There goes one now."

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Hmm.
- "Ta-da!"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's very good,
a fine jump.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- But next time...
- Crow: Goofy, but...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}...try to end up
on your feet.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}If you want to become champion,
you must work.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}I wanted you to notice me.
I want to be like you, Hercules.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And you will be, my boy,
because you have a strong will.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}My father said you put strength
ahead of everything,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but I know you want us
to use our forces

{\a1\pos(201,460)}only to serve
our intelligence.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And you are right.
- Tom: Aw, yep. ( guffaws )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}, now you will stay by my side,
and I'll teach you to fight,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}but not only with your hands.
omeday, your friends and enemies

{\a1\pos(54,460)}will honor you and name you
"the Wise."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( horse neighs )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- "Hey, the pizza's here!"
- ( all humming a bouncy tune )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Hey, everybody,
I just invented the shirt!"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Somebody call
a cab? "

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I might have known
who it was.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Iphitus. Forgive us,
don't you think it's time we go?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- He's here.
- Until tomorrow.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"He's perfect."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Judd Hirsch.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Ah, we better get
to class, guys."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ( murmuring )
- Skin bronzer, rhubarb,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}you know what
I mean. Yeah.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, suck it in!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, you'd see that guy
sucking it in there?

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Get a bow.
- The sun is high already.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You sleep too much.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The pleasures I enjoy
must aggravate you,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}but it's early,
so please don't start

{\a1\pos(117,460)}that eternal nagging
simply because

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I delayed
the great Hercules.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Hey, I worked hard
for this body."

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Here.
- Joel: "Give me one of those."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Wait, shoot
where you are.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hmm? Hmm?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Joel and Crow: Miss.
- Jinx.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Noonan. Noonan.
- Hey, batter.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}My, you've certainly got
nguished assembly of spectators.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Shoot the arrow!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, he's left it way
right of the green, Chris,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}over the gallery.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Why, this distance
is nonsense.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Is this your purpose,
to humiliate me so they'll talk?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}In battle,
at this distance,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}we'd call for
the use of the bow,

{\a1\pos(36,460)}for shorter distances,
e use of the sword or the spear.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}, remember, it's not a question
of physical strength.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}little intelligence, even a boy
like this one can hit

{\a1\pos(12,460)}ull's eye standing where there.
Tom: "Hey!"

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Better yet, prove it to me!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}rove to me your head isn't just
a mass of muscle up there!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Oh, wait a minute now.
My head is a mass of muscle."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Herc, honey,
I brought you

{\a1\pos(180,460)}a sandwich and
some clean underwear."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Oh, Iole."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"You're lucky
my chick's here."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come on, nipples.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Just drink
in my back, huh?"

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Come with me.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Who's idling her motor, huh?
( chuckles )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- What's he doing that for?
- Keep still.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, he always
does this when they play

{\a1\pos(138,460)}miniature golf, too.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now concentrate,
and listen to me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Aim before you wind up.
"Keep your left arm straight ."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Watch the direction
and intensity of the wind.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It ain't over till it's over.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Watch the tops of those trees.
- Tom: And have some fun.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That will guide you
to incline your bow

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- at the proper angle.
- The bow.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Once you've
determined that...

{\a1\pos(141,460)}Determining it
with this thing with the...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It will have
to go straight out.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Here's your bow.
- Crow: Yes.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Now watch.
- Oh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, knock it off, Herc.
Every chance he gets.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hoser.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"I could do that."

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- "But I smell nice today."
- That's it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Now let me get
out of the way."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Just one more inch now.
- I can't do it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You must do it.
Steady now.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}One more foot.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Give me an inch."

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Shoot!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Wrong, wrong, wrong.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ What's new,
pussycat? Whoa. ♪

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Aha.
- A perfect shot.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Look at that.
- ( laughs )

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- Ah.
- "I know I might date him."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well done, my boy.
What's your name?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ulysses,
son of Laertes.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Remember what
I'm going to say.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- ( Crow babbles loudly )
- Perhaps someday,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}a bow may
decide your fate.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Now get out
of here, you bum."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Listen. No one
in all of this country

{\a1\pos(138,460)}has ever beaten me
at discus throwing!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- All right, are you ready?!
- I accept.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Think fast."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Iphitus may win
the discus throw.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}His body is built lighter
than Hercules.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Hoo, hoo, hoo!
- That can work as an advantage.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Then we must wait and see.
- We'll soon know.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's Clay Shaw.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yup. Ayup.
Ayup. Ayup. And ayup.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}uld you just throw the discus?!
- And oh!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ( clamoring )
- 137 3/4!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I must say
it's extraordinary.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It will take some doing
for Hercules

{\a1\pos(96,460)}if he ever wants
to beat that record.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Now just wait a minute.
- Come, Hercules.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- We'd like to see your start.
- Tom: I bet you would.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}How do you throw
the discus at Thebes?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}With both hands?
( laughs )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, that'll cost him
some points.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yes, let's see.
It's up and...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- it's over and--
- ( chuckles )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}...yes, and when
throwing the discus, oh, yes.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yes. Yes.
Yes, yes.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, would you just--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They are truly
the hands of a god.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Look out
Aeschylus!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}My chariot.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}My chariot!
I want my chariot!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}"Okay,
here you go, sir.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Sir, sir, you haven't
validated it. Sir!"

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now don't go driving all crazy.
It's not worth it!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh. He's gone.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}( imitating reverb )
totals on the board are correct.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Before leaving,
we urge you to check

{\a1\pos(180,460)}your immediate
seating area.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Get out of my head,
you. No."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ( whimpers )
- ( moaning )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He can beat anybody.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}"Oh, don't look
at the naughty man. Come here."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"I may be the winner,
but I'm going home alone.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Oh, maybe not."
"Well, I liked it." ( giggles )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( hums along )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( theme song playing )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Better get back
to Jolco.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I want to enjoy the spectacle.
- Go away.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}to see you battling a lion, not
throwing the discus around.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Tom: A lion?
ongue is faster than your sword.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You take your orders from me.
o back, I'm responsible for you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}'re responsible for my prestige
in front of the people, too.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the gods, I swear if you escape
the lion, you won't escape this.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, it all comes out
at once with you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Bozo the lion!
( whimpers )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( horse neighing )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- No.
- Kitty.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come on, you two.
You're irritating the lion.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( roars )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( neighing )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, this is
going real well.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Whew. Well, I seem
to be okay.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}A few scratches--
Oh ho!"

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know, they never use their
scratching posts.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- No.
ude Balls, ladies and gentlemen,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Claude Balls.
- Oh, you-- ( groans )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"I'll get the water
pistol. Uhh."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Come on. Mix it up.
I'm Herc."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Come on.
Bert Lahr's a wimp.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Come on."
- Whoa.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You know, you
pet 'em once,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- they won't go away.
- Uh-uh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, you got a dry
socket there, pal.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Take me."
( exhales )

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh. Hmm.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Ah, Herc,
I was kidding."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( groans )

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, I'm telling Joan Embery
from the San Diego Zoo.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( snoring )

{\a1\pos(204,460)}"You know,
either this man is dead,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}or my sundial has
stopped."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Whether it is nobler to suffer
ings and arrows of outrageous...

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Is this your design,
oh, gods?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Is this why
I've come to Jolco?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Pretty much.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Hi. We came to get
Scruffy, our pet lion.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, my God!"

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Your chariot arrived in Jolco
like a messenger of death.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Crow: So to speak.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}idn't tell you about the victim.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It may still be you,
Hercules.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( Irish accent )
"All right, boys,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}back to the precinct.
Let's go."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( imitates siren )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"So, lunch? Oh, yeah.
You're dead, but still..."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I told you, Pelias,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I prophesied doom if you
didn't send him away.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He's dead, my son.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, cruel gods.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Useless complaining
to the gods.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Plan your revenge now.
- Crow: Avoid the rush.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}To avenge my son,
Hercules,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'll make Hercules
suffer the way I suffered.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Listen to what
I say to you.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Your tunic
is open in the rear.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I can see
your bike rack."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And if you just do that,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}you can forget
he's invincible.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Guard: Your highness!
- Joel: "Yeah?!"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hercules has returned!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Oh, I'll alert
the media."

{\a1\pos(120,460)}"It's Hercules.
Why is everything Hercules?"

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( grumbles )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Hey, boss, did you
hear about Hercules?"

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Yes, I heard
about Hercules."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now what?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"H-- hi, he-- he
broke. Sorry."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( grunting )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Could you give
me a hand here?"

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Okay. Who's gonna
sign for this?"

{\a1\pos(57,460)}Careful there.
recommend a cool storage place.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Go get him jerked.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Ohh. Could I have
his room, Dad?"

{\a1\pos(264,460)}"I love
my dead Greek son."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- "Our work here is finished."
- "Our work here is finished."

{\a1\pos(264,460)}( sobs )

{\a1\pos(264,460)}"Look,
no charge, okay?"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}No one requested you
to go after the lion.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He did it on spec.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}If you hadn't been
so headstrong...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}he would still be alive.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But, anyway, it's still
a nice day, huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The lion is vanquished.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Crow: The lion takes Vanquish?
- The parents of his victims

{\a1\pos(180,460)}feel grateful,
I suppose.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The danger has
passed them now.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- "Give us Barabbas!"
- "Barabbas! Barabbas!"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Joel: Oh, wait.
- But it can't placate me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Go ahead, let it out.
Come on."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You want only your glory.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You brought the gods'
vengeance on my house.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You'll atone
for these things.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}( mocking )
"You'll atone for these things."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You fought the lion.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You'll pay for the things
you believe in.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You'll do
what I order you to,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}and I swear
no man will help you.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- "I ain't helping him. You?"
- "No. You?"

{\a1\pos(33,460)}...the Cretan bull in battle,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and may the curse
of the gods be upon you...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Look, can I get
a word in here?"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}...until you've paid
for the blood of Iphitus.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"You are dead,
aren't you?"

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( sobbing )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, what a crummy
Fourth of July. Ohh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Sorry, ma'am.
Got another show.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Just-- thanks."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, saw him move!
Just kidding. Sorry.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}"Well,
I see my chance."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"So why the long face?
Kidding, of course.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Just breaking
the ice."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Iole, I didn't want to speak out

{\a1\pos(117,460)}against your father,
but his punishment's unfair,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and his accusation's
unjust.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"He's just so bogus."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yes, I know.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hercules must listen
only to the gods,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}because he cannot know
the suffering of a woman.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, yeah.
It's a woman thing.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Listen to me, Iole.
- I don't want to!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Go away!
( sobbing )

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ooh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Maybe I'll call Samson,
see what he's up to."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"She likes me,
really!"

{\a1\pos(264,460)}"Wait.
Wait, you guys.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The party's not over.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I got plenty
of cocktails left

{\a1\pos(180,460)}with the little
umbrellas in 'em.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Come on!"

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Well, I'm
still immortal.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}They can't take that
away from me."

{\a1\pos(78,460)}( groans )
"Yeah, I'll clean up the lion.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, what a mess."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}James A. Michener's
"Adventures in Hercules."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ah, he's doing
real good.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's got
a paper route.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Oh, dang.
On top of everything,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}my house
is on fire!"

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Shane!
Come back, Shane!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Hey, what's for dinner,
Hop Sing? Hmm?"

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( humming theme from "Bonanza" )

{\a1\pos(36,460)}There will be patches
ttered God today, followed by...

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Why did Iphitus
have to die?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Answer me, Sybil.
I cannot understand.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm greatly confused.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}A man I could crush
with one hand gives me an order.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}A woman humiliates me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It is not you who
is to blame, Hercules.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Iphitus died simply because
s not meant to be king of Jolco.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Oh, will you hand me
the extinguisher?"

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Now the gods assign
a new labor to you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They want you to go out
and chance your fate

{\a1\pos(264,460)}against
the Cretan bull.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Enough!
I'm tired of doing

{\a1\pos(54,460)}all these senseless things
for the gods!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}When will I be worthy
in the eyes of the gods?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"I'm in over
my head here!"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The hour of your fate
is nearing.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Don't rebel against it.
- Now listen to me.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}These changes have happened
to me in the last few days.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Male menopause.
Iole, the way they punished me,

{\a1\pos(57,460)}all of these things
help me to feel in another way.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"All tingly."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I can't stand
being superior.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let me experience
the real things,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}love or hate.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Those are mortal states,
Hercules.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}If it's my immortality
making me unhappy,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}then I'll do
without out.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's dangerous,
Hercules.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Don't you know how
foolish you'd be to renounce it?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}To be born a man and see
thing die is not to be immortal.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Stay as you are.
Be a god.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Don't exchange
lity for fear, pain, and sorrow.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}I want to live
like any other mortal man.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, brother.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's my prayer
to have a family.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"A nice two-bedroom
apartment, maybe."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I want children
of my own...

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Herc is
a 90s woman.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}...to see the children
growing up.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Pass on, Hercules.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You're barren, pal.
- It's all as you ask.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Now you shall have
to confront your future

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and fight using
only your own forces.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Mortal victories,
or you'll be defeated.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( theme music playing )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}J-- Joel...

{\a1\pos(57,460)}you remember the group
Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, sure.
Of course I do.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They had two huge
chart-busting hits

{\a1\pos(96,460)}when I was a kid
in the 70s

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What were they?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, um...

{\a1\pos(36,460)}well, the first one was
Pull Your Love Out On Me, Baby."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Remember?
- Oh, yeah.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ Don't pull your love out
on me, baby. ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Sure, I remember that.
What was the other hit?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, um...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I don't really remember
the second one,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}except that it
sounded a lot like...

{\a1\pos(54,460)}All: "Don't Pull Your Love
Out On Me, Baby."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Right.
- I see.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}How many members
did that band have?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Come on, Crow, that's easy.
They were a quartet,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hamilton, Joe, Frank,
and Reynolds.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Really? I always
thought they were a duo,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hamilton Joe Frank
and Reynolds.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}No, you guys,
it was a trio,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hamilton Joe,
Frank, and Reynolds.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Wait. They were a quintet.
- How do you figure that?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, Hamilton, Joe,
Frank, Ann,Reynolds.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}But maybe if Ann Reynolds
is one person, Tom,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}at would lead us all right back
to the whole trio thing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, with names
like that,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}why the heck did they even name
the band after themselves?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hamilton, Joe Frank
& Reynolds

{\a1\pos(96,460)}does not exactly
roll off the tongue

{\a1\pos(222,460)}like Dino,
Desi & Billy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Joel, do you think
we'll ever find the answer

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to the Hamilton,
Joe Frank & Reynolds mystery?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, who can answer,
my young friends?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Who can really answer?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, Hamilton,
Joe Frank & Reynolds--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- ( alarm blaring )
- Movie time! Let's go!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Pelias: Therefore you may
have come here...

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Crow: Good morning.
- only to defraud me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I myself heard Chiron
talk about the Fleece.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Your words can't influence me
in what I must do.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You've brought enough
unhappiness to my house.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You want to take
my throne now?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, maybe this
will convince Pelias.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Would you just..."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( onlookers murmur )
- What does it mean?

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Who is that?
: "Ah, look at the pins on him."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}...this stranger.
I've never seen him.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Athlete's foot!
Ew!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Great legs.
What do you think, huh?"

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- "Wonderful."
Nice pins, eh? Look at the guy."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"I'd kill for
those ankles."

{\a1\pos(36,460)}If I may speak, I think
s discussion is a waste of time.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}No, Larry,
you may not!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}If this is Jason
and he tells the truth,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}then we must ask
the gods to prove it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}The Colchides
is a long journey,

{\a1\pos(36,460)}but if we persist
d take this voyage as I suggest,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}we might find the truth about
King Aeson's death.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Howard Johnson
is right."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}feel the gods favor us piercing
the mysterious Colchides.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Ugh!
- Ugh!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And perilous, and all
our men shall need courage.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( mimics Cowardly Lion )
Courage.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}For you see, for years,
we wanted an opportunity.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and now we know the adventure
which Argo's ship was destined.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Joel: "Who is he?"
The poets will write about this

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- in all the years to come...
- Crow: Like Rod McEwan?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}How we found
the fleece of gold

{\a1\pos(33,460)}or disappeared in the silence
beneath us.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let the people appraise
the legitimate heir

{\a1\pos(180,460)}to the glorious
throne of Jolco.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hail, Dorothy.
- Hail, Dorothy.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}You'll be able to know
who he is the day we come back.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Orpheus is right.
I shall prepare the boat.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Who?
- What boat?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And I shall go, too.
- I also.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- We'll go.
- Of course.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Tom: Et tu?
- Do as you must.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}The gods have
willed you to decide this.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Rip Torn, ladies and
gentlemen.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}But don't expect me
to wait here

{\a1\pos(96,460)}tortured by doubt

{\a1\pos(138,460)}for the little time
that I have.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}"And I'm not going to pick
you up either."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You have three months
to come back,

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- not one day more.
You kids'll be the death of me."

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- That's all.
- Crow: "I need a salty dog."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Has anybody
seen my heels?"

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Eyes front,
Carl."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Be assured of our help.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What he says is true.
- You can count on me.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}You do look
like King Aeson.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Of course.
- Because he is Jason.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Has anyone
spoken of Ulysses?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}That's me.
I'll introduce you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's so nice that
you'll let me go.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}e from the Fontainebleau Hotel!
- Hercules: Iole.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}, that dress melts my fillings.
( purrs )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}What do you
want of me?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Do you have
a quarter?"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Don't think I'm being
hostile to your father.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Isn't that funny?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Then what
should I think?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'm only searching
for the truth.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You can't handle
the truth!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Truth? I feel the truth
no longer matters

{\a1\pos(96,460)}after what you've done
to him in there.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Listen to what
I have to say.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What I've done
is for you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I don't belong
to you now.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}You listen
to the words of Orpheus.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}There's a new mission
to begin,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}one where you'll
be covered with success.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Follow the one
you name Jason then,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and come back victorious
like the adventurer you are.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Crow: Whoa. Back off.
- Do you remember

{\a1\pos(201,460)}what you said
the first day we met?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Joel: You mean "Ugh"?
- That you couldn't be happy

{\a1\pos(96,460)}as long as the mystery
of your uncle's death

{\a1\pos(96,460)}couldn't be cleared up.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}Listen, Iole.
It's our destiny to solve it.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}No, Hercules,
your destiny is not mine.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ah, better take a jump
in that cold fountain, Herc.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- Yes.
- Later, that same day...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They'll succeed.
I'm sure of it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}They'll return here
with the Golden Fleece.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'll be accused.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- They'll kill us all.
- ( cheering )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- ...because she's mine.
- Tom: Stirring.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I saw that man
without a sandal.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That's enough, Pelias.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}These lamentations
aren't going to save you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}All right, then.
Help us.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Do you know
any way to save us?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'm ready to do it.
- If Jason's murdered...

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Ugh. Ick.
- Yecch.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}...and since
your son is dead,

{\a1\pos(36,460)}you must see you can't
ect your daughter to rule alone.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}No! You shall
never marry Iole.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Monster.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Their craft's
almost ready to sail.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I could be on it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Better think it over.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Good night.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And now funnyman
Morty Gunty.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"You want to eat
or anything?"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Nah. I'm gonna
eat alone."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Nice day
for it."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ To arms... ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Looks like it's a big, brawny,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}hairy, glistening,
two-fisted manly day.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}What a cheap cruise.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"'I want to be mortal.'
What was I thinking?"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( singing in Italian )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Dennis Day?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Any day.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hercules, why don't you sing?
- I don't feel like singing.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Tom: "I'd rather not talk
about it. Shut up."

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Wager it's Iole, eh?
"What's that supposed to mean?"

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're not the man
to act like that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}First there's pain
'cause she isn't yours.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Oh, why did I sit
with this guy?"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Then begins that
jealous feeling.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That passes after
you're married,

{\a1\pos(57,460)}because then
you're too tired to be jealous.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Crow: "Shut up! Steward!"
- ( laughs )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Abe Lincoln looks
cheesed here, hmm?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( Orpheus
continues singing )

{\a1\pos(141,460)}What, did Herc
get on a swing choir barge?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Here comes the wind!
Get to the sails!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, good, this is the fun part.
- "Whee!"

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I like this a lot better
than rowing."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"What are
they doing?"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ( groaning )
- ( grunting )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The mighty canvas,
like a giant skin

{\a1\pos(201,460)}hoisted aloft
by sinewy hand.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Time goes slowly
here at sea.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I think I'll start
a calendar.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}One notch for each day.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Oh, now that's
a good system, I would have done

{\a1\pos(180,460)}something
like three notches,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but he simplified it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"You think that they'd
be further away by now.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They're barely
past the dock."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, no plot
on the horizon.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"I wonder what
I'm thinking about."

{\a1\pos(120,460)}"Where do you want
these place settings, ma'am?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Will you be
checking out today?"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You don't speak
anymore.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You just keep
looking out there.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Crow: "Keep it up."
- We're all sad, too.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They never went
this far before, I guess.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That's enough.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Jeez. Sorry for
supporting you."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}If you're gonna do
an intervention,

{\a1\pos(99,460)}you're gonna have to
be more persistent than that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Man on the floor!
- Man on the floor!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Man! Man!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Now what did I
come in here for?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, yeah.
No. Wait."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You wait so anxiously

{\a1\pos(201,460)}while my fate
is decided.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yes, Father.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We ask for only
peace of mind.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Tom: "Oh, and the car."
d if this boy is really Jason...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Well, he claims to be,
but damned if I know."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The throne is a burden.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You even wanted
to give it up, you said.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}To begin over again,
my child.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, I can't do it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I know the gods
will aid you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- And Hercules.
- Don't say that!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Oh, Daddy."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}No. Iole,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I would like to wipe him
out of your mind.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"I'm not a hugger."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Ah, you guys should have
ught about that before we left."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}There go the dumbest
group of guys

{\a1\pos(96,460)}you'll ever see.
Look at 'em.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}12 angry Greeks.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, get moving.
Get to work.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Jeez, you gotta
take orders

{\a1\pos(138,460)}from Pete Townshend
in a dress.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Until later!
"Yeah, don't look at our butts!"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Crow: "Okay!"
- ( men chatter )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know, the bigger they are,
the nicer they are.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Their butts?
- No! No.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- "Oh, there you are!"
- "Hey, find anything?!"

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"What a day.
Let me tell you."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You like
Hercules?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I think he's
kind of a jerk.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Let's keep together.
Better take this path.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Okay. We'll take
this other path."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"No, I said
stay together."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ C&H pure
cane sugar. ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"I can quit
anytime."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( bird warbles )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's a whoopee plant.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}"Guys,
wait for me."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( laughs )
- There you go.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Huh?
- Attack of the Mary Martins.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Oh, no.
We're captured."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Joel, what was
that shot about?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Joel: Hmm? I don't know.
- Stay there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What do you want
on this island?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We presumed the island
was deserted.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}Some of us landed
water and stock our provisions.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( chuckles ) Be assured
our intentions are peaceful.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Throw down your arms,
and follow us.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Queen Antea shall decide.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"We... surrender."

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- Oh!
- "Wow, just think what they

{\a1\pos(222,460)}coulda hit
if they felt like it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Come on. They could
never do that again.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Not in a million years.
Oh! D'oh!"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Even the archers
are beautiful."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Why not?
Might prove interesting.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( guffaws )
- Oops.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Not the tunics,
guys.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Follow me.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Where I go ♪

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ What I am,
who I know. ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Ho ho. It's
a wacky sitcom.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Or a wacky
"Satyricon."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Ooh. Ooh.
- Voong.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Hey, Skipper,
look what I found."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( hums a tune )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Say what your name is.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Come here often?"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Isn't everybody
here phony?"

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Don't you ever talk?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}She's
an Ellen Jamesian.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}But it's unbelievable
that at 60

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'm taking part in an adventure
like this one.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, thank you, Aphrodite.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- ( hums a tune )
upiter, they're real, all right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I always thought
it was a legend,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}the kind of nonsense
invented by poets.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Yeah, we hear
that a lot."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What do you mean?
Who are they?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}They are the Amazons,
if you want to know.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The population is female,
absolutely all girls.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Women!
- Women!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}A society
similar to the bees.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Did you ever hear how
the drones finish?

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Who finish?
Yes, the male bees of the tribe.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The females kill them
after mating season.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Look at that.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"It's us."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}And only men.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}It's the Andrea
Dworkin Memorial Cemetery.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Hmm. 'They came to island for
food and provisions.'"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"...landed here,
loved here, and died here."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Sounds okay to me."

{\a1\pos(264,460)}A pity.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"That's great.
Maybe we should run!"

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- ( gasps )
- ( men laughing )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let's not forget.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Who said life sometimes hangs
by a thread?

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Joel: Bill Barrett?
- Shall we be alive tomorrow?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Who's able to say?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}So it's best
to be happy today.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Who are you,
Bobby McFerrin?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's the Bataan
sex march.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's "Little Big Man."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, they're gonna
carve Mount Rushmore.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}"We've landed on the island
of annoying music."

{\a1\pos(120,460)}"Gee, I wonder what
it costs to heat this place.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, great.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}There's a big line
at check-in."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Land of the Bea Arthurs.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Wow. That's
quite a lobby.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"I surrender."
( purrs )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Guess what's for dinner.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Manwiches.
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's the Percy
Faith orchestra.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Esther Williams.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}"Oh, I've been
sucking it in for an hour.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm really glad
you're here."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hail to you,
milady.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Be assured that these men
and I from another land

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- come in peace to your island.
- "Yeah, right. Kill 'em."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Our aim is simple.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}All we want are supplies and
provisions...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ And a room
somewhere. ♪

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I fear you may be ironic.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You see, the Amazon people
are dying out.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}As you know,
we are all women.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We have lost our men.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( thunder crashes )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}They were all
killed years ago...

{\a1\pos(180,460)}when they went
up the mountainside.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}An earthquake took them.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Now we remain alone here.
- Joel: "Very alone."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Pity us for the way
we are now.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Gee,
I feel bad.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You'll find we are
valuable allies.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Excuse my indiscretion.
- Tom: "But that bod."

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- I am called Jason.
- Joel: No, what are you doing?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We are from Jolco.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}This is Argo,
Pollux, Laertes,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Castor, and Aesculapius.
- "And Steve."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We were sailing
to the Colchides,

{\a1\pos(57,460)}but a storm forced us
throw our provisions overboard,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and, you see,
we never tried--

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You shall stay till tomorrow
and then go.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"And remember,
checkout is at noon."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now you listen
to what I tell you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Isn't she great?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- We'll let the strangers...
- She's great."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}disposition all our wine
and all our food.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Ah, things are looking up.
- ( cheering )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}What did I tell you?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You didn't say
what your name is.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"They call me
Mister Tibbs."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}My name is Antea.
Now you know.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Would it be insolent if I asked
about the earthquake story?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}"I beg
your pardon."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You said the story was
that the earthquake

{\a1\pos(222,460)}killed all
the Amazon men,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but on the way here,
Laertes told it to me.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Joel: So what's the deal?
- Only, according to him,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}it happened
100 years ago.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And you want to know
about how we survived,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- women living here alone.
- Crow: "Lots of bathrooms."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Well...?
- Fine.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let me teach you
to swim.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Oh, you're drunk."

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Really. I saw the lake as we
were coming up here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You'll enjoy it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I must admit we were
frightened at first.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Your marksmanship was perfect.
n I finally lowered the sails...

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Crow: Hey, it's a mixer.
...how old you feel that counts,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}not the number
of years you have.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}"And that's when I got into
collecting spoons."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Several years
after the eruption...

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Crow: Excuse me?
- ...seafaring men came here,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and they were welcome,
needless to say.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}But we were paid back
with violence and cruelty.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Joel: "But enough about me."
- It taught us a lesson.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Then the women formed
themselves into an army.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}e's pretending he's interested.
- Now we make sure the women

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- aren't hurt.
- Tom: Oh, of course.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Before, they were,
but no man now--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You kill all the men.
- Tom: Mm-hmm.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It proves to us
that we're superior.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Oh, yeah. That's really
interesting."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Men mean nothing
anymore for us.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Joel: "Oh, what do you know?
That's something. Wow."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}If I should die tomorrow,
I'd be happy to have sacrificed

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and dedicated all to be
the queen of this island.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Tom: "Really?"
't your women ever fall in love?

{\a1\pos(36,460)}Don't you see?
s an expression never used here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Except when it
comes to chocolate."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It has been lost
since time passed.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( laughs )
- Please.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}But you're joking.
You must be.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Tell me,
do you really hate us?

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Crow: "Yes."
- Women know what you want,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}filled only with
your own desires.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"And watching
football."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The gods have created
us Amazons purposefully

{\a1\pos(201,460)}to punish you
for your wrongs.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Crow: "Oh, punish me, please."
- Not all men are alike.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Some men are full
of kind sentiments...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Joel: Like Alan Alda.
- not just desires.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}an is incomplete without a man.
- Zing!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( theme music playing )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, look.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( singing in Hawaiian )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Aah! My spine!"
( imitates crack )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"The Ooh Lagoon."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I see Sparta.
I see Athens.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I see someone...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'd like to do a scene
from "Baywatch," if I may.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- By all means.
- "Now don't you kids get drunk

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and go swimming
under the dock."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( imitates bubbles )
"Help! I'm drunk,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I've swam out under the dock!"
( imitates bubbles )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Baywatch."
"Baywatch."

{\a1\pos(57,460)}( imitates underwater )
away from their powerful legs."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( imitates underwater )
"She's nude!"

{\a1\pos(120,460)}( normal )
When Congress goes swimming.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}What, did we tap into
the "Playboy" Channel?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( as Jacques Cousteau )
And so the men of the Calypso

{\a1\pos(96,460)}are all painted bronze.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Falco cries,
"When in Rome,"

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- and dives into the water.
- One more.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( laughs )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( chokes )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Elinor Donahue?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, you know,
you're really so greedy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You mean Greeky.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}But why did
we meet like this?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"You wouldn't
leave me alone."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Brought to me by
strange adventure.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I must have
another destiny.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Your destiny
brought you to me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Destiny Rides Again."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You're so ambitious.
Be happy in this place.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}But I fear
we must get away,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}somewhere just
the two of us together,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}living like men do
everywhere else...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Crow: In the suburbs.
- ...in suffering.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Don't go, if as you say
there is so much suffering.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Yeah, I got mine.
Who cares?"

{\a1\pos(162,460)}You may go,
but here's where I belong.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'll be here with you.
I can't let you go.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The flowers are
talking to them.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}It's all that I want
just to be with you like this...

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( snoring )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}to stay by you
and taste your kisses

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and hear your voice.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I can't live without you.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( murmurs )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hmm. Which trip
was better?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'd give 10 years
of my life

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- to solve this mystery.
- There's no mystery.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's perfectly clear.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They enjoy the shore...

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, that guy's
got a saggy diaper

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- that leaks over there.
- Hercules, Ulysses, and Orpheus

{\a1\pos(33,460)}are aboard, and we see them.
The others, no.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They've been gone
a week or more.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- We've got our provisions.
- Tom: ( grumbling like pirate )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Har-dee-har.
- Argh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, that's for
Gene Wilder.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"H-- hello?
Hello?"

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sneak, little boy.
H-- hello.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ooh. Yumptious
wax fruit.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Ucch.
- "Dear Ulysses,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}don't eat the fruit.
It's poison."

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Mmm.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Buttery napalm.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Antea: But he must know
that I love him.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Your feelings are
no concern of ours.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Uh-oh. This is turning
into a "Porky's," isn't it?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The term has expired
many days ago.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}The law is the law,
it must be obeyed by all of us.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}now that the law applies to you
as well, more to you, Antea.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Those men shall
all be put to death.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}And do it by
tomorrow morning.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Jason will be
the first.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He must not live
to see the sun rise.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You must act quickly...
- Joel: ( gulps )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}before the dawn.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Antea: I shall do
as the gods command.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Women, kill.
I'm warning. Ooh."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"I'm not going
back, Jim!"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The naked prey.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Come on, wake up,
you boozy old sex fiend.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}om: They're gonna kill us all."
- What's that?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Crow: "What's that? Waking--
- If you want someone to sleep,

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- is there a drug?
- Crow: ( mumbles ) Nappy time."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Don't bother a man
who's already sleeping.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Will you wake up, please?
It's important.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}What's more important
than sleeping?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Crow: Except food and sex.
st know what medicine I can use.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Crushed seeds of poppies
is what I recommend.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The poppy seeds in wine

{\a1\pos(117,460)}is the most effective
thing I know.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Joel: Poppies!
- Poppies like this one?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Eh? Yes.
- Thank you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}He's grown a
victory garden there.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yay, team.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Previously on--
oh, forget it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, this ought
to pick up the movie.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Think it'll rain
if it stays like this?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Here comes Ulysses.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Look at
the poor dope."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Well, I guess I'll go
make breakfast then."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Oh, I ever tell you
I used to be immortal?"

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- "Mm-hmm."
- "No, really."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hercules:
Well...?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}I hope
my beverage works.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Let us go.
Joel: "Should we wake the guys?"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"No, this
is our time.

{\a1\pos(246,460)}- Ah.
- ♪ Times like these ♪

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- ♪ Are made... ♪
Well, will you look over there?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}That's something suspicious.
Planning something again.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Sneaking away to visit
those Amazons.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Who can blame him,
though, huh?"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}While we have to stay
onboard like slaves.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, keep quiet,
will ya?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Keep still, all of you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I want to sleep.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"I've got
a voice-over tomorrow."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- ( music playing )
- Whoa!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's naughty!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mm, I'll say.
- Well...

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The "Solid Gold" dancers.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Deney Terrio.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Mike Brady!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Can I get another
Grolsch over here?"

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( hiccups )
"I always get this way

{\a1\pos(33,460)}at out-of-town conventions."
( hiccups )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Remember, there's
a 30-drink minimum.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They're having
a collective episode.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Sure, it's for the men,
but I like it, too."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- "Grapefruits."
- "Grapefruits."

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- "Wonderful grapefruits."
efruits. Mmm, delicious ruby red

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Indian River..."
this nectar so potent, my dear?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You look to me like
you're two girls.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Because you're
looking at me

{\a1\pos(180,460)}with such
a sad expression.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}n everyone looks so melancholy,
and they're dancing.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}ut we're not going to a funeral
this morning.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( laughs )
- Crow: "Boring."

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- ( laughs )
: "I love how he tells stories."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- "How's yours?"
- "Not good."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( laughing )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's a Who
from Whoville.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Signal Cindy
to rescue us."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- "Grapefruits."
- "Grapefruits."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"They're not just
for breakfast anymore."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Delicious,
juicy lemon pulp."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- "Mmm, num-num-num.
- Delicious grapefruits."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"They are really
good tonight."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}If it would
just continue.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( laughs )
"I'll see you in hell."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I felt so strange
for a minute.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Insert juicy
grapefruit."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"They really unclog you.
Grapefruit."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Have them for juicing
and for smile slices and..."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And you-- up-a-dah.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"All right, now for
the abdominals."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( overlapping chatter )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Thank you.
Thank you."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Don't go away yet.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"I can't, sir.
House rules. I'm sorry."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"You act like we're all
gonna die or something."

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- ( creaks )
er face is drawn to polar north.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}"Did you have
a Caesar salad for lunch?"

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"I know we've been
dating for an hour,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but I need my space."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Man, that thing is really
pinching her arm there.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( chuckles )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Crow: And now,
ladies and gentlemen,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}the Satellite of Love
in association

{\a1\pos(96,460)}with Mabou Mines,
the Wooster Group,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Theatre de la Jeune Lune,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and the Burt Reynolds
Jupiter Dinner Theatre,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}proudly presents
the critically acclaimed

{\a1\pos(201,460)}tour de force
wherein one robot

{\a1\pos(96,460)}singlehandedly portrays
Gene Rayburn,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}plus all the contestants
on the "Match Game."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm Tommy Olson.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ladies and gentlemen,
we give you Crow T. Robot

{\a1\pos(201,460)}starring in,
"Give 'em Hell, Blank."

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hi.
I'm Gene Rayburn.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Welcome back
to the "Match Game."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, let's get right
to our next round, shall we?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Ahem.
Lea said to Olly,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Name the two happiest
days of your life."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Olly said,
"That's easy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The day I bought my boat
and the day I" blank.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Day I bought my boat,
and the day I" blank.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Okay, let's see
what we got up there.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Charles Nelson Reilly.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I was going
to say, "hinder."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( laughs )
- ( bell rings )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}All right,
Brett Somers.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I wrote down
"derriere."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( coughs )
- ( bell rings )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Richard Dawson.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Survey says,
"gluteus maximus."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( bell rings )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Betty White.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, excuse me.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I wrote down,
"patootie."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( laughs )
- ( bell rings )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Fanny Flagg.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Appropriately enough,
I wrote down "Fanny."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( bell rings )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And Nipsy Russell.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, Olly was a chump,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Lena said this place
is a dump,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}but I'm gonna say,
"rump."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( bell rings )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, let's see if there
were any other matches,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}'cause we're
running out of time.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And I'm afraid time was
running out for me, too.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Those were happy,
carefree days.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I thought I'd host
"Match Game" forever,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but, alas, it was
not meant to be.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Don't get me wrong.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Wish only the best
for Ross Shafer.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}But the truth is
that old game show hosts like me

{\a1\pos(96,460)}are a dying blank.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( echoing )
Charles Nelson Reilly,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}can you hear me?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Brett Somers,
are you out there?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Richard Dawson,
where are you?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Fanny Flagg, answer me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Betty White, speak to me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Nipsy Russell,
don't leave me like this,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}alone and afraid.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}There is no creature
loves me,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and if I die,
no soul shall pity,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and wherefore should they?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Since I myself
find in myself no pity

{\a1\pos(180,460)}to myself.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Please, God,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}don't do this to me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Don't kick me in...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}the patootie.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ah, who the heck am I
to feel sorry for myself?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}My show brought laughter
and joy to millions.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I've had a good life.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Good night, folks.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( theme music playing )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Let's go.
- Tom: "Okay."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( sailors murmuring )
- Seaman.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Quite right.
- Come on.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Spread out.
I'll handle this."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hercules, turn the boat around.
- Tom: "Yo."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}We want to go
back to the island.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Orpheus, Ulysses,
take the tiller.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Attila?"

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I've decided to go ahead.
- What's that?

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- What?!
said I've decided to go ahead."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Woman: Castor!
- Woman ♪2: Laertes!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hmm?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( women calling
in singsong voices )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You can hear their
civil defense sirens.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Kind of
creepy ones, too.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Castor!
- Laertes!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, what are
you waiting for?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Me? I have a very sick friend
I must visit.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, get
a day job.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( laughter )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I don't get it.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Castor!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( together )
♪ So long, farewell ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Auf wiedersehen... ♪

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Tifi!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Huh. Hmm.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Come on.
Man the oars.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Or oar the mans.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's a Gap Jeans
commercial.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Orpheus,
let's have a song.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- A song.
- Liar! Liar!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}All of you,
sing along with us!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( men singing )
- ( women vocalizing )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I need wind
in the sails!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Herc's getting lusty
and oily again!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Let's hit it, fellas."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, yeah, this
is way better

{\a1\pos(222,460)}than being
on the island.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Yeah, maybe if we
go higher up,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}we won't hear Gordon MacRae
down there."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"I don't like this
any more than you do."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Sad, really.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( humming along )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Your Ohio State
Buckeyes!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, knock it off,
Jerkules.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"We forgot the words
to this part."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh. See?
They're still there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( humming along )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( sighs )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Maria Callas.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Musical saw.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( together )
♪ Sail away ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Bom, bom, bom, bom. ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He's carving a piano.
- Both: Oh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( hums notes )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Hey, oars are supposed to be
broad and flat.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No wonder they're
not getting anywhere.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}If this be
the Colchides...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"...Let me live it
as a blond."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}...the Fleece is near us.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Why do they
go ashore so early?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Couldn't they wait
for daylight?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Maybe there's Amazons
on the island.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}...Jason from going,
the others follow.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's a busy
off-ramp.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This island bites.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's, like,
totally Amazon-less.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"We surrender!
Anybody?"

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"We're ready
to be captured."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's Swiss Family
Papadopoulos.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's Greek.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}How 'bout
a song, Herc?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, there's probably
a strip mall there now.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Mm.
( sighs )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, Commando Cody.
- Huh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Hey, this is
real fun, Herc."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"It's great.
No, really, it is."

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Ooh.
Hey, hairy dudes.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Oh.
- Hey, it's the Jim Ignatowski,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Tommy Chong, Gilbert Gottfried,
Gino Vannelli tribe.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( screeching )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well, they're not Amazons,
but when in Rome, fellas...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( laughs )
- Hey-o.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Thank you, Hercules!
This is wonderful!"

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Sailor:
Come on!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( hooting )
- ( screeching )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Man, they're really not
very good savages, are they?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Unorganized.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yeah, and
on top of that,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}they all look like
the nutty professor.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Don't touch
the hair."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Ah, here.
Give him to me.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I have to do
everything myself."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( shrieks )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They scream a lot.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Tom: Oh, hello.
's something out of a bad dream.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ( tribesman barks )
- ( screams )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Gymkata.
Hup. Gymkata.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( barking )
- ( grunts )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( chuckles )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Huh, must be time
for savage supper.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"See? Heh.
This can still be fun."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Okay. How 'bout
a song?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Jason.
Where is Jason?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, he's reading comics
up in the bushes again.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Jason!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh. Good thing they left
the Golden Fleece out to dry.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"A lone ram committed
suicide today."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Can I help you, sir?"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, wait.
I thought they said,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Golden Grahams,"
not "golden ram."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Hey, I feel the earth
move under my feet. ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ( chuckles )
- Ooh.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Gilligan!"

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hmm?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Mulch strikes back.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- ( roars )
- "Oh. Oh, nice doggy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, good pooch.
Ohh."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I thought those things
were extinct.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's the future site
of Jurassic Industrial Park.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Throw him a Milk-Bone!
- Big one!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Finally, a cool part.
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( roars )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( humming bouncy music )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Ahem.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Welcome to
the "Land Before Time."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Man, I'd hate to see
his litter box,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- you know?
- Ew.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I don't need the Golden Fleece!
You keep it."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Why must I lash out
at everyone I meet?"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Hey, I just want
to borrow the Golden Fleece!"

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- "No."
- "Could I just try it on?"

{\a1\pos(222,460)}You can see
why this film

{\a1\pos(222,460)}isn't good
for the tourist trade.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( roars )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Negotiations
for the Fleece

{\a1\pos(180,460)}continued
into the night."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( roars )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, come on.
He just wanted to play.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}( lisping )
"Oh. Oh, boy. Oh, that really--

{\a1\pos(57,460)}oh, golly, that--
oh, boy. Whoa. Oh, that hurts."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Creature!

{\a1\pos(204,460)}( groans )
"The money is in the..."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( groans )
- You know that monster

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- never read "Getting to Yes."
- Uh-uh.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}How's he gonna strap
that dinosaur

{\a1\pos(222,460)}to the top
of his car?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Huh?
It's a bath mat.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}what do they want
with a bath mat?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, really up close,
it's not really that golden.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's kind of more
of a burnt umber.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Wash separately
in cold water.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hang to dry"? D'oh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- My brother killed me.
- Crow: Hmm?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Pelias owned the hand...
- Crow: Wow, it talks.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}that struck me
as I slept.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}May the gods forgive him
for what he did.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}How could he have
written it after he died?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}...persecute and curse him
if he harms my son.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Oh, I've read
this one."

{\a1\pos(162,460)}I commit Jason
into your hands, Oh, gods,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and I ask of you to free
his thoughts from revenge,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}for no more blood
must be shed.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}wouldn't that dinosaur love to
hear that now?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Thank you, gods.
Thank you so bloody much."

{\a1\pos(264,460)}"What?"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yours was
the deed of a king.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We acknowledge you
as sovereign of Jolco.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Were you watching
all this time?"

{\a1\pos(54,460)}What is written on the back
of the Golden Fleece?

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Tom: "You guys."
On whom will our vengeance fall?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- On no one.
- Crow: "On no one."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It was the last request
of the king.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Joel: Play "Stardust."
- It was his will.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He pities those
who take revenge.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You'll return this
to Jolco...

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Tom: For store credit.
- ...where you'll place

{\a1\pos(96,460)}the Golden Fleece
behind the throne.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, King, it's wise to forgive,
but you'd be wiser

{\a1\pos(54,460)}to look deep into the eyes
of the man you've forgiven.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I follow only
what my father commands

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and my conscience
dictates.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You got a plastic bag
for this thing?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Maybe a wooden hanger?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I must do it. I'll take
the responsibility.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"I'll walk it and feed
it and call it Gold."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Sit. Stay.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Good Fleece. Good.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yeah, he'll probably
send it UPS.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And now before
your very eyes,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}the Golden Fleece
will escape

{\a1\pos(180,460)}from this trunk
in just minutes.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Wow, look. It's been
one, two--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}well, it's been
a long time.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}2,000 Flushes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- "Hey, Mom! Dad! Hi!"
- "Hey, hi!"

{\a1\pos(36,460)}"I've loved camp.
hould have seen this one island.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There were girls
and stuff."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( sailors cheering )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Respective honeys,
we're home!"

{\a1\pos(222,460)}We made it
in three months.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Where's Hercules?
Do you know?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"We thought
he was with you."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}There he is.
Look, Ulysses.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, Hercules,
the first postal worker.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Get back
to your places!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Where is
the Golden Fleece?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Stolen from under our noses.
- Crow: ♪ Dun, dun, dun. ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( theme music playing )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"I'm back,
and I'm mad as hell."

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Listen.
Now beware of Jason.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Jason is king.
Jason will judge you.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Don't forget that we'll fight.
- You will never beat Jason.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Don't be too sure, because
the Golden Fleece is ours now.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}That's enough!
rybody will know you're thieves!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Going down,
Mr. Hercules?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, no one said
they had one of those.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Eh, typical,
while the rest of us

{\a1\pos(96,460)}are unloading, Hercules
is nowhere to be found, man."

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Joel: "This is my room."
- What is this for?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You're not to leave your room.
The king's orders.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Orders, you say?
Crow: "How long am I grounded?"

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Tell me, where is Hercules?
- We know nothing about it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"All right. God."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But that's ridiculous,
bolting us in this way.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Don't be worried, Iole.
Now that Jason's here,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}they'll decide who
the king of Iolcus is.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Iole.
Hercules...

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Malcolm X
is over there."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}...in there,
locked up.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Watch the sentry.
Crow: "I always do." ( giggles )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, this set is for
their big closing number.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Daddy, there's
a bunch of boys outside."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Oh, wait. No, wait.
Go back.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Shut up. Shh.
Shh. Quiet."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That will keep him
quiet for a while.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"So, anyway, do you
like my helmet?"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You know,
it's hard for them

{\a1\pos(138,460)}to get any flatter
against that wall.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"That guy's always
been asking me out.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I don't want
to see him."

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- "Here, wait. Let me help."
- "It's better if I do it."

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- "Ow!"
- "That hurts. Stop-- ow!"

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- "I got it."
- "Let me."

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- That is a lumpy mattress.
- Mm-hmm.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( wind blowing )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hercules.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}ow: "Can I have the checkbook?"
- Hercules.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, good one.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The door does not open
from the inside.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We are trapped in here
like he is.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}hat's why it's called a prison.
- The gods have abandoned us.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}No, he's still alive.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You report that your journey
has been successful...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Eh, pretty much."

{\a1\pos(78,460)}...that you found the
Colchides and in the Colchides

{\a1\pos(180,460)}you found
the Golden Fleece.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- May I look at it?
- Joel: "No."

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Where is Hercules?
- Crow: Where isn't Hercules?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What has Hercules
got to do with it?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}If I give up my throne,
I must have your proof,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}not Hercules.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Tell me. I demand it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You already assume
the tone of a king.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Uh, Herc head hurt.
Where Herc?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Who Herc?"
( babbles )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But now you dare
to issue commands.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Bring to me
the Fleece,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and I will give you
the throne.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}But I promise that if I find
you have lied to me,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}you will be condemned
and put to death,

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- all of you.
Joel: "And I mean it this time."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I told you the Fleece
has been stolen.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}ou can ask your own men here. -
Ta-da.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}They're your partners
if it comes to that.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I want the Fleece now. If the
Fleece is yours, show it to me.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Actually, it's Thinsulate.
- But I know you can't,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}because you're an imposter,
and your men are traitors.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Arrest them all.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}( together )
ave the right to remain silent."

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Hey, somebody find the Fleece!
- "Well, Gary had it last."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- "I gave it to Rick."
- "Oh, you..."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"No wonder I had
a hard time sleeping.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What the hell?"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ( grumbles )
- "Oh, my."

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- "Not having a good day."
- Oh, I knew it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now he'll be dragging
those around the house.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( men clamoring, yelling )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Look out, Ulysses!
- Let me by!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- "Thanks, buddy."
- "You got it, pal."

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Ooh!
ght in the groinitological area.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The groinular region.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Man, it must be
South Central Greece.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's it!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Later. I'm a little
busy right now."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"I'm Herc,
and I'm irked."

{\a1\pos(141,460)}( snivels )
"I can explain everything."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Why didn't
anybody wake me?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ha. Missed me.
Now you gotta kiss me."

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, he's gonna have to wear
a turtleneck for the next week.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Ouch.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"What are
you doing?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Keep away
from me."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( gasps, gags )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Climbing halfway
through hell and Greece

{\a1\pos(201,460)}just to find
some stupid sheepskin.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, God.
I hate these things."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hercules!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, he's just invented
the weed whipper.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Greek whipper.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yee-hoo!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Oh, you're here."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Hey, thanks for
throwing in, Gramps."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Very good. That's the way.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Whee!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"That came
out of nowhere."

{\a1\pos(264,460)}"Mommy."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- All: Ohh!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}This is a weird
chain of events.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- D'oh.
- Hit him.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Chains don't
kill people.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hercules
kills people.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"It's not worth it,
fellas.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Let's meet
in the break room."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Boy, Herc can
really clear a room.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Taste it all.
Diet hemlock.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"I have a delicious
poison in the morning,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and that's it."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"That's acrylic!"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now it's a well-done
Golden Fleece.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Dad, let me guess.
Something's wrong."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Father.
- Iole.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( yodels )

{\a1\pos(120,460)}Pardon me.
Men sometimes make mistakes,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and now mine
have caught up with me.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}That's what Michael Milken
probably said.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I've done so badly.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Jason should reign
in Jelco.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Men are such babies
when they have a head cold.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He may have mercy
on my memory.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Tell me about
everything now.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You mustn't lie any longer.
- My dear, it's useless.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}The poison's
working well.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Poison? Father!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"That was mine!"

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You mustn't regret
anything, daughter.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}"But, Dad, before you die,
will you sign my report card?"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Go away with Hercules.
He's a good man.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}"You know, if you would have
said that a half-hour ago,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}none of this would
have happened."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now gods take me
to the land of shadows.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( sobbing )
- May I be forgiven.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ah, booze.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}( together )
♪ School's out for summer. ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ah, that chain thing

{\a1\pos(96,460)}is still working
real well.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"This morning,
a lone chainman...

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Hercules: All of you get back!
- ...terrorized downtown Athens.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No motive was apparent."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, not this again.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Anytime something
doesn't go his way...

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This is how he always
closes his act.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Ah, is that
a supporting beam? Good.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- That'll do."
- Hmm.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( grunts )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"The National Guard
was called in

{\a1\pos(201,460)}to help quell
the violence."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( grunts )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Hey, Herc,
we were coming

{\a1\pos(180,460)}to congratulate
you."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"Mr. Hercules, they
just surrendered

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and gave us the palace."

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Oops.
- "Yeah, we probably

{\a1\pos(96,460)}should have gotten out
first, huh?"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, man, if this
were in Sensurround,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- this'd be so great.
- Well, we could vibrate.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( chuckles )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"All right,
we're leaving.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}All you had to do
was say something. Gah."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now there is justice,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and the clouds over Jolco
pass away.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Out of great sorrow
and spilled blood,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}forces of good
are sometimes born.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hercules and Iole
are leaving now

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to find a new happiness.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Six fun-filled
weeks in Jamaica."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They will seek
amongst the race of men,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}where justice and peace
will be with them again.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Farewell, Hercules.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Joel: Bye now.
- Farewell, Iole.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Life awaits you

{\a1\pos(138,460)}with all its glory
and all its shadows.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Go forth, graduates.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But even through
the most difficult tasks

{\a1\pos(117,460)}the gods may prepare
for you...

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Herc and Iole really
had a rocky dating

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- and engagement period.
- ...till the end of time.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"So, uh, like, you
want to grab a bite

{\a1\pos(120,460)}or maybe lay out on
the lido deck or something?"

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Or is it?
- I doubt it.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Hmm.
- ( humming )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Bali Ha'i. ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Well...
- Hmm.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Whatever happened
to these guys?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I don't know, it's kind of
inconclusive.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, I know. You see,
Hercules got a job

{\a1\pos(180,460)}as a prep cook
for a while,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but he got fired for
toking up on the job.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}But he said it was
just 'cause the manager

{\a1\pos(12,460)}didn't like the Greeks and Iole
did data entry at Fingerhut.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh. Did they
have any kids?

{\a1\pos(99,460)}Oh, no. Herc couldn't
perform his husbandly duties,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}if you know what I mean.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, they adopted
Ulysses, but he became

{\a1\pos(96,460)}a real troublesome kid.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You know, he busted
into a cabin up north

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and took
some fishing gear.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He was on probation
for a while.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know, he's got connections
to a string of chop shops.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}But Hercules and Iole
really loved each other, right?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, that depends
on how you define love.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You know, for Iole,
it got really hard

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to come home from
Fingerhut night after night,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}see this big demagogue
sitting on the couch,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}slamming back Leinies,
and watching TV.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, then Herc
went through rehab,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and he started selling
Kirbys door-to-door.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Then one day,
he ran into an Amazon

{\a1\pos(12,460)}he knew from the island,
this Debbie.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}ty soon, Debbie was calling him
at home all hours

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and driving past his house
and stuff all the time.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}just flipped out, and then she
left and took Ulysses.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}And Jason?
What about Jason?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Jason, he sold
the Golden Fleece

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and bought himself
a Rupp minibike.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}His family moved a lot,
so he was in and out of schools,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}never in one place for more
than a couple of months.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}e quit school at 15 and started
ing stand-up comedy on the road.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And then one night,
he freaked out onstage

{\a1\pos(180,460)}after some guy
heckled him about Medea.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Not to mention that,
you know, he refused

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to drive a headliner
to Fargo one time,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}so he didn't get
much work after that.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Then he was killed in a tragic
ing accident involving the Argo,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}ou know, there were some taunts
from cruel crewmates,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and there was a case of
St. Pauli Girl involved.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Are you done?
- Really sad.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are. Come on.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}But what about Creon?
You remember Creon?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He was the one
who went out to the...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( chorus singing )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Floating decimal.
- Yep.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}So, Tommy Boy,
by my calculations,

{\a1\pos(99,460)}that comes out to be
about 15 Amazon women apiece.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yeah, okay.
So it's 15 apiece.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I admit those
are good odds,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}but what good
would it be?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Who wants a bunch of
dumb old girls around?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I mean, there'd be
curling irons all over

{\a1\pos(96,460)}the bathrooms and hair
clogs in the showers,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}not to mention them
wearing our shirts.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Tom, are you even
paying attention?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Seems pretty obvious to me

{\a1\pos(12,460)}that if Amazon women were
to take over the ship,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}you and I would not
have to lift a finger.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}They'll cook.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Cook?
- They'll clean.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}They'll empty
the load pans...

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- Load pans?
- squeegee the windows...

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Windows?
- and peel grapes for us...

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- Wow!
- ...and feed them to us.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}They even like to go
horseback riding and swimming.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ooh. Wow.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, when you
put it that way,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I guess I could put up
with a few nylons

{\a1\pos(180,460)}hanging in the
bathroom, you know.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}( chuckles )
Boy, all our chores done.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Snacks on demand.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Lunch every day.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Kiss bye.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Man,
we'd have it made.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I know. I know.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay, okay, okay.
Listen, you guys.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I've heard
every word you said,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and I want you to know
it makes me just sick.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}What? What?
We were just saying

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that Amazon women
love to do stuff for men.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Listen,
in the first place,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}you're not men,
you're robots.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}In the second place,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}not all women carry
curling irons around.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- No?
- And in the third place,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}you've got Amazons
all wrong.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}s like they were noble warriors
that didn't need men at all.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It just so happens
that the filmmakers

{\a1\pos(180,460)}decided to take
a few liberties

{\a1\pos(138,460)}with ancient Greek
history

{\a1\pos(12,460)}nd add some sexual titillation,
and you rummies bought it.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Oh.
- ( horn honks )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh. We got a ship
coming into range.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Give me
rocket number nine.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( horn honking )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, who are you?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, hi. I'm Elaine,
and this is Carol.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You know, I must have taken a
wrong turn at the Piggly Wiggly.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know, we're looking
for the paper drive.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Crow: Well, I can see
by your T-shirt

{\a1\pos(222,460)}that you're
an Amazon?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Card-carrying
since '67.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Jeffrey gave us
these T-shirts.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's my Cindy's
youngest.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Cute, I am telling you.
That kid, he's got--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That's great.
Could you tell us

{\a1\pos(180,460)}if you're gonna
conquer us

{\a1\pos(180,460)}or take us over
or something?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, heavens, no.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Who's got the time?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It used to be
a full-time thing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now we just conquer men
for charity.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's real, real fun.
- yeah.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, in that case,
maybe you could help

{\a1\pos(96,460)}my friends and I
get out of space

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and take us back to Earth
or something.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, no, mister.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You boys knew you were
gonna be in space,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}you should have
arranged a ride.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I am not Mom's Taxi.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, you kids can walk.
It's nice out.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, listen,
we gotta run.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It's nice meeting you fellas.
Bye-bye. Nice kids.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Huh. So those
were Amazons, eh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Nice, but not at all
what I expected.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- No, not at all.
- Uh-uh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, me neither.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Jeez, they seemed like
somebody's moms or something.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And she said they
were semi-retired,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}but, still,
I imagined an Amazon

{\a1\pos(117,460)}being a noble warrior
with one cut off and...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( coughs )
- Listen, let's just--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm not feeling
very good.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Let's hurry up with the Mads,
and I'm gonna lay down.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You can make me
a soup and sandwich.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Good idea.
- Come in, sirs, please.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}"Oh, Frank,
bring me that memo.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, Frank, bring me
some coffee.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yes, I'm Dr. Forrester.
I'm king of the whole world."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( groans )
- ( chuckles )

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Sorry.
I didn't mean to.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I was just about to--
- Push the button, perhaps?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You know me so well.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's something
out of a bad dream.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( barking )