Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988–1999): Season 6, Episode 10 - The Painted Hills - full transcript

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ In the not-too-distant
Future ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Next Sunday AD ♪

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ There was a guy named Joel ♪

{\a1\pos(159,460)}♪ Not too different
From you or me ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ He worked at
Gizmonic Institute ♪

{\a1\pos(159,460)}♪ Just another face
In a red jumpsuit ♪

{\a1\pos(159,460)}♪ He did a good job
Cleaning up the place ♪

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ But his bosses
Didn't like him ♪

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ So they shot him into space ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ We'll send him
Cheesy movies ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ The worst we can find
La-la-la ♪

{\a1\pos(159,460)}♪ He'll have to sit
and watch them all ♪

{\a1\pos(75,460)}♪ And we'll monitor his mind
La-la-la ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Now keep in mind
Joel can't control ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Where the movies
Begin or end ♪

{\a1\pos(201,460)}La-la-la ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Because he used
those special parts ♪

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ To make his robot friends ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Robot roll call
Cambot! ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- ♪ Pan left ♪
- ♪ Gypsy! ♪

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ♪ Hi girl! ♪
- ♪ Tom Servo! ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- ♪ What a cool guy ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- ♪ Croooow! ♪
♪ He's a wisecracker ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ If you're wondering
How he eats and breathes ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ And other science facts
La-la-la ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ Then repeat to yourself
"It's just a show ♪

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ I should really just relax ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ For Mystery Science
Theater 3000!" ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hoo-hoo!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Thank you, thank you!
Hot show!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, great to be here,
great crowd tonight.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Thank you!

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Let's hear it
from our musical director,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Servo Marcellus.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ooh!
- Hi, everybody.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}Welcome
to the Satellite of Love.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm Joel Robinson;

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and as you can see,
the bots are putting on

{\a1\pos(180,460)}their own version
of the Tonight Show.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're just in time
for the monologue.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- So, what's going on
in the news today?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Have you seen
that panty raids

{\a1\pos(183,460)}are once again
all the rage at colleges?

{\a1\pos(141,460)}I didn't know
so many members of Congress

{\a1\pos(12,460)}were going back to school.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( CHUCKLES )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I see the new Sharon Stone movie
is so steamy

{\a1\pos(78,460)}it has to be edited
in order to get an "R" rating.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They had to cut out
all the scenes of Congress.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( CHUCKLES )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, Congress.
- I see the new poll says

{\a1\pos(33,460)}the public objects to TV shows
that are about sex.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, I like watching shows
about Congress.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Hey, Crow,
you'd better knock it off.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You could get sued
for that, you know.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Well, I'd hire a congressman
to defend me,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but they're all out
having sex!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Aw.
- Sex, ladies and gentlemen.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you.
Hey.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}So, does this clip need
any setup?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Who's, who's job is it
to set up Congress, heh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We're done with that,
King Crow.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Congress.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Wilbur Mills and Fanne Foxe
are calling.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- They had sex.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Joel, what would you say
if I told you

{\a1\pos(36,460)}I've invented a low-cost,
low-maintenance household device

{\a1\pos(117,460)}that could easily last
for a decade or more?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Say hello to Frank's heart.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You, you've invented
Frank's heart?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- No, no, silly boy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I've, I've harnessed
Frank's heart.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I was cleaning the snakes
out of the pantry yesterday,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}when suddenly it hit me:

{\a1\pos(138,460)}nothing works harder
than the human heart,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}especially when it's clogged
with cholesterol.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now, Frank's heart was a mess,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and it's getting worse
all the time.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The rest was easy.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Frank eats, I surgically attach
a generator to his heart,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and voila!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The cholester-do-all.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, yes,
here you go, Frank.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What's going on?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, right there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, and I've got to
whip you up some eggs, Frank,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and your turbine's
slowing down.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}So, eat some of that pie,
will you?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You see, it's simple
and efficient,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and I can run a blender,
and a toothbrush,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( MOTOR WHIRRING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and a room fan,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}and a radio,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and a garage door opener,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and an arc welder.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ha, ha, ha, ha.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, at some point
this will kill Frank,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}but I think it's worth it--
ha, ha--

{\a1\pos(267,460)}an EKG,
does this work great.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Frank, eat!
Joel?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, sure, that's great,
Dr. F, for you.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}Anyway, up here
on the Satellite of Love,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}where life's generally
bright and cheery,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}we've decided
that backwards masking

{\a1\pos(96,460)}has gotten kind of
a bad reputation.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- It was surprising, really,
right under our noses,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}thrash metal bands giving us
all backwards messages

{\a1\pos(180,460)}to worship Satan
and the like.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sheesh!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- So, we've come up
with back talk.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's a backwards masking
personal memo machine

{\a1\pos(33,460)}that helps you remember things
subliminally.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Right.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- First of all, start with
some nice, pleasant music.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Aw.
- There now, isn't that nice?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- And simply tape your message
to yourself backwards.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Right, let's say
I'm an executive,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and I want to leave a memo
to myself.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I'd leave a message like this.

{\a1\pos(246,460)}- Uh--
( SPEAKING BACKWARDS )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Then the next day--

{\a1\pos(54,460)}MACHINE VOICE: Ask Dan about
Fulbright contract.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Ah, it's fun!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- It is!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- We get to talk backwards.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Try it, Tom.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( SPEAKING BACKWARDS )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}MACHINE VOICE:
Remember to tape Delta.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, this will be invaluable
for business persons,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}students, homemakers,
teachers, cutlery salesmen,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}congressional aides,
barbers,

{\a1\pos(183,460)}rubber novelty
district representatives,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}gym teachers,
that big guy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Uh, Crow.
- Hm?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- That's plenty.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What do you think, sirs?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- The seventh inning stretch
to come...

{\a1\pos(285,460)}DR. F:
Keep going, Frank.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I've still gotta vacuum
under the couch.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- And now True Value
hardware stores--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( FRANK CHOKING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, good one, Frank.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Joel, your movie today
is called "The Painted Hills."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's got Lassie--
yes, the dog--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}starring as Shep,
another dog.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, and there's a hygiene short

{\a1\pos(180,460)}that I was hoping
Frank would see.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Frank, I'd love to revive you,
but how can I,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}when I can't run
the defibrillator?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Frank?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}MACHINE VOICE:
Dr. F is a butthead.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( BUZZER )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- That's great.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, is there going
to be a test?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- What is this?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Is it an infomercial?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Where's Cher?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Body Care and Grooming.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}They're cops.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You know what?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}They should distribute
this film in Seattle,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}where the grunge look
is so popular.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, they need it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And based on the book,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Everything I Ever
Needed to Know,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I Learned at
the Beauty Parlor."

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- It was the cleanest of times;
it was the dirtiest of times.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}NARRATOR IN MOVIE:
Aw, spring--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Filthy, shameful spring.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}NARRATOR:
--when birds are on the wing,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}when flowers bloom.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And so do young men.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- This guy hasn't a prayer.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- A young Frank Sutton
makes his move.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Crow.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You know, people
were whiter back then.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}NARRATOR: Spring, when a young
man's fancy likely turns to--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Underpants.
NARRATO--thought.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}NARRATOWhat's the matter?
- Hm?

{\a1\pos(141,460)}NARRATOR:
Exam week getting you down?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, leave me alone.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}NARRATOR: What you need
is to put down that notebook

{\a1\pos(159,460)}and take in some of
the beauties of nature.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Pick up a rifle.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}NARRATOR:
See what I mean?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- The Andrews Sisters?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}No way.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}NARRATOBut wait a minute,
young lady.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}How did you get
into this picture?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- My agent booked me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}NARRATOR: You see,
we're trying to prove a point

{\a1\pos(117,460)}about nature and beauty,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and you're not exactly
helping, you know.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, well, bite me.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}NARRATOLook at your hair.
- I like her hair!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}NARRATOR:
Look at that blouse.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I'm looking, I'm looking.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: And the way that
skirt hangs and those socks.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Look at that sidewalk.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk

{\a1\pos(99,460)}NARRATOR: Sorry,
there must've been a mistake.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}You don't seem to be
exactly the type

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to make this guy behave
like a human being.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You know, to make him
grope you and paw at you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'm late for my
Hitler Youth meeting.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}NARRATOR:
But wait a minute.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( SPEAKING BACKWARDS )

{\a1\pos(141,460)}NARRATOR:
Let's start all over again.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And find new ways
to shame her.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, brother.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- What the hell?

{\a1\pos(246,460)}NARRATOR:
Oh, brother, is right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Look at that hair,
that skin, that mouth.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Those-- nose.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}NARRATOR: And now look
at that blouse.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- We just took your libido
and starched and pressed it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}NARRATOR: And now look
at the skirt and the socks.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hey.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}NARRATOR: Thanks a lot
for helping us prove a point.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Now be gone.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}NARRATOR:
And you--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}you, too, know the value
of a good appearance.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Excuse me,
I couldn't help but notice

{\a1\pos(180,460)}how much you look
like everyone else,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}heh, heh, heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Tackling her from behind
is the first step.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ten years later--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- This marriage
is suffocating me!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}NARRATOR:
In fact, you all know

{\a1\pos(138,460)}that a good appearance
is a must,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}not only to your college
life now--

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- This sucks.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: --but to your business
and professional lives later.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}But good appearance

{\a1\pos(117,460)}is more than dressing up
like a fashion plate.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's looking like
Bruno Hauptmann.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: Anyone will make
a good appearance,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}no matter what
his style of clothing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Even Larry Hovis.

{\a1\pos(246,460)}NARRATOR:
Clothes are important.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}NARRATOR: Besides fitting well
and looking well,

{\a1\pos(120,460)}the clothes should be
appropriate to the occasion.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hmph.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}NARRATOR: Wearing inappropriate
clothes, like these shoes--

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Is immoral.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}NARRATOR: --is a sure way
to make yourself uncomfortable

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and conspicuous.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Expressing individualism
is just plain wrong.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: But good grooming
is more than clothes deep.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's being snowy white.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}NARRATOR: Good grooming starts
with personal care.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- It starts with the soul.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: This principally means
the care of your hands,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}hair, your teeth,
and your skin.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And your naughty bits.
- Yes.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}NARRATOR: Let's begin with the
skin by taking a look at it

{\a1\pos(12,460)}from the doctor's point of view.
- Oh, yeah.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, you've got a big
blackhead right here.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}NARRATOR: You'll find the skin
is a complex living tissue,

{\a1\pos(78,460)}whose proper care
requires a basic understanding

{\a1\pos(222,460)}of what it is
and what it does.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- But, doctor,
I twisted my ankle.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}NARRATOR: In this highly
magnified section

{\a1\pos(117,460)}through the skin,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}we see that skin is made up
of various layers.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- You'll see the path
of the motorcade was diverted--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: Individual cells
of the outer layer

{\a1\pos(33,460)}are constantly drying out
and dropping off--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Whoopee!
- Whee!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( CHEERING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- There we go!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yoo-hoo, catch me!
Ooh, aha, there I go!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}NARRATOR: Skin differs
in thickness and texture

{\a1\pos(54,460)}on various parts of the body,
such as on the lips.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Ah!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}NARRATOR:
The eyelid--

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- We have a "Carnival of Souls"
here.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}NARRATOR:
--or the feet.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Perhaps the most familiar
example of skin specialization

{\a1\pos(138,460)}is on your fingertips.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}NARRATOR:
Here the skin is grooved

{\a1\pos(12,460)}to help you hold smooth objects.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Out from the inkwell
comes Koko the Clown -

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: Almost all skin
is richly provided with nerves,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}which give the skin
an amazing sensitivity

{\a1\pos(159,460)}to outside stimuli;

{\a1\pos(159,460)}hence, the skin acts
as a sensory organ

{\a1\pos(54,460)}for the protection of the body
as a whole.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- There, that'll keep
the devil out.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}NARRATOAnd skin serves to
protect you still another way:

{\a1\pos(159,460)}by providing one of
the first physical signs

{\a1\pos(138,460)}of illness or disease.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- That's an Indian rub,
all right?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You got a little sister?

{\a1\pos(99,460)}NARRATOR:
Most skin also contains hair.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}The hair roots are located
below the skin surface.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Wait a minute. The hair
has a liver and a spleen?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}NARRATOR: ( indistinct ) hairs
are found

{\a1\pos(120,460)}in association with
the sebaceous or oil glands.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- There's oil
in them thar skins!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: These oil glands
often empty directly

{\a1\pos(138,460)}into the hair follicle
or opening--

{\a1\pos(75,460)}--by means of which the oil
reaches the skin surface.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The purpose of this oil

{\a1\pos(33,460)}is to soften and lubricate
the hair and skin.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Hey, you can't say lubricate.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}NARRATOR: Another gland found
in the skin is the sweat gland.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}NARRATOR: Sweat glands
open directly into the skin

{\a1\pos(75,460)}and discharge sweat through
individual openings or pores.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( SLURPING NOISES )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: Sweating is one of the
chief functions of the skin.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}The main value of sweating
is the control of body heat--

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Thank you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}NARRATOR: --brought about
by the evaporation of sweat

{\a1\pos(138,460)}from the skin surface.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Hi, I'm Wasty, the national
spokesman for sweat.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}NARRATOR:
Most everyone sweats under
one circumstance or another.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Ah!

{\a1\pos(141,460)}NARRATOR:
Besides accumulating sweat,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}the skin is also constantly
picking up dirt, dust, grit,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}and other foreign particles.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Skin sucks.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}NARRATOR:
And because the skin has

{\a1\pos(12,460)}lots of openings in its surface,
these foreign particles,

{\a1\pos(243,460)}most of them
loaded with bacteria,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}may enter the skin
and start an infection.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- On Lyle Lovett.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}NARRATOSuch an infection,
if untreated or irritated,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}could develop into
a widespread inflammation

{\a1\pos(117,460)}or even blood poisoning.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Don't let this happen to you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Don't change a tire
with your face.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}NARRATOR:
Protect your skin.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Keep it looking
clear and fresh.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Keep it clean.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Pickle it, varnish it,
soak it in vinegar!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}NARRATOR: The best way
to clean your skin

{\a1\pos(54,460)}is still the old-fashioned use
of soap, hot water,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}and plenty of elbow grease.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- ♪ Your hand's in the gutter
Your love's in the sink ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}NARRATOR: And the result
is well worth the effort.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}You don't need
scientific proof of it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You can feel it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ♪ I feel pretty
Oh so pretty ♪

{\a1\pos(78,460)}NARRATOR:
In addition to soap and water,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}there are other good aids
for cleaning your skin.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- ♪ Dominique, nique, nique ♪
( BOT HUMMING "DOMINQUE" SONG )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}NARRATOR: One of these
is cleansing cream.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- One of these is nitric acid;
choose wisely.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}NARRATOR:
Many girls find this helpful

{\a1\pos(138,460)}in removing cosmetics.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Many are just plain wrong.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: However, nothing
can take the place

{\a1\pos(54,460)}of your daily bath or shower.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You should never disrobe,
even in the shower.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-mm.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I'm so nutty.
- Get in there.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Nutty I am.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: This is the time
to give your skin a good,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}invigorating workout.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}( BOTS MAKING SOUNDS
FROM "PSYCHO" SHOWER SCENE )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}There is no visible dirt
to wash off.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}There are body odors
to be eliminated

{\a1\pos(138,460)}by cleansing your skin
of dried sweat,

{\a1\pos(120,460)}skin scales, and dust,
which accumulate constantly.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- We just used
that in the bowl, dear.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, oh, never mind.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}NARRATOYour bath or shower
should end with a brisk rinsing

{\a1\pos(12,460)}to carry away all soapy residue.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}This is really
the best part of the shower.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It stimulates the skin
and wakes it up all over.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Now get out!
You've wasted enough water!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Get out!

{\a1\pos(141,460)}NARRATOR:
Bathing and toilet articles

{\a1\pos(162,460)}should be kept
for your own personal use.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Grooming is between you
and the Lord God.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: Don't share them
with others.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Don't trust people;
they'll only hurt you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: You wouldn't use
another person's toothbrush,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}so don't use their towel
or toilet articles.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Live a lonely, sheltered life,
plotting, scheming.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}NARRATOAnd it goes without
saying that only clean lingerie

{\a1\pos(117,460)}should go next to
that clean skin.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, yeah, say that again.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, stop.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}NARRATOWhile it may not be
necessary for all of you--

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- It's fine.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: --some girls use
a lubricating cream

{\a1\pos(138,460)}or a lotion to prevent
skin roughness or chapping.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Expensive creams and powders,
however, aren't necessary.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Could you get
out of my room, please?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}NARRATOR: A healthy skin
can be kept attractive

{\a1\pos(138,460)}with only a few simple
preparations.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}And so the end
of a perfect day.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- An entire day
spent grooming.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}NARRATOR: A few minutes
in the morning and evening

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and occasional checkups
during the day

{\a1\pos(201,460)}are all you need
to establish and keep up

{\a1\pos(138,460)}good grooming habits.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Thus ends a day in the life
of Ivan Denisovich.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}NARRATOR: And you--
- Jezebel.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}NARRATOR: --by following
these simple rules

{\a1\pos(33,460)}of body care and grooming,
you, too, will have

{\a1\pos(75,460)}that quality of appearance,
that feeling of well-being

{\a1\pos(12,460)}so important to make your dreams
of happiness come true.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- And, remember,
when you touch yourself,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}the saints cry.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Goodnight.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Keep watching
the medicine cabinets!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Keep watching
the medicine cabinets!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You're next.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, let's not forget
these guys.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Lassie is back,
and she's pissed!

{\a1\pos(138,96)}"The Painted Hills,"
the Cristo story!

{\a1\pos(117,96)}- What kind of an agent
do you have to have

{\a1\pos(180,96)}to get your name
listed under Lassie?

{\a1\pos(180,96)}- True Boardman,
not his real name.

{\a1\pos(33,96)}- I'm afraid we're going to be
true bored men after this.

{\a1\pos(222,68)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(12,96)}- Hey, isn't that the song
that Big Bird sang

{\a1\pos(96,68)}about the alphabet?

{\a1\pos(12,96)}- Joel, did you know that Lassie
couldn't work with guilt,

{\a1\pos(54,68)}so they brought in Lipstein?

{\a1\pos(138,96)}- Oh.
- Did you know that?

{\a1\pos(12,68)}- Well, let's lighten things up.

{\a1\pos(285,68)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(12,96)}- You know, William Tuttle
always does Lassie's makeup.

{\a1\pos(33,96)}That's always in the contract,
absolutely.

{\a1\pos(285,68)}- Okay.

{\a1\pos(36,96)}- Why do I have to go
to the bathroom all of a sudden?

{\a1\pos(138,96)}- Uh-oh, sounds like
it's going to be an epic.

{\a1\pos(117,68)}- I'm not excusing you.

{\a1\pos(201,96)}- Oh, is Lassie
going to teach us

{\a1\pos(33,460)}good grooming techniques, too?

{\a1\pos(204,460)}- Alive,
My Side of the Mountain,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The Eiger Sanction.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}NARRATOR:
Who of us will ever know--

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Me!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}NARRATOR: --what's in the heart
of a dog?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Heartworms.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}NARRATOR: This is the story
of a great love--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- The greatest love of all.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}NARRATO--the love of a dog
for one man--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- It won't work.
- Mm-mm.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}NARRATOR:
--a love that was to prove

{\a1\pos(12,460)}even stronger than life itself.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- They're married now
and live in these hills.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( MUSIC/WHISTLING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- ♪ She ran calling wildfire ♪

{\a1\pos(306,460)}MAN:
Hello, Shep!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hm?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- She's got a deep voice
for a dog.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}MAN:
Hello!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( BOT MAKING WOLF SOUNDS )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}MAN: Shep!
- Aww.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Lassie won't let
the director

{\a1\pos(12,460)}photograph her other side,
you know.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}MAN: Shep!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Would you shut up?
I'm posing here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Snausages, Snausages.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hm-- hm?

{\a1\pos(120,460)}There's trouble
on the "McKenna's Gold" set!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}JONATHAN:
Where are you, girl?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, now what?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You knuckle knobs-- jeez.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}JONATHAN: Hurry up!
( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Get me out of here!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, Grandpa did fall
down the well.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What do you know?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Hey, hey.
Never mind eating me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Just get me out of here.
Start digging, go on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What, how's that,
Mr. Weatherwax?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- That's it.
That a girl.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Keep a flying. Hey!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, no, that's my groin,
honey.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Don't dig so deep.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, the other way,
the other way,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}the other way, Shep!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}No, no, go dig, dig.
- No, no, Shep.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Dig, keep digging.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}That's million-dollar dirt.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We've hit it this time, Shep.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We've hit it sure.
No, keep going.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I forgot to peer the shaft up.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}I've darn near been
the richest corpse

{\a1\pos(33,460)}in the territory, ha, ha.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He had sand on his lap,
and he needed help?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( CHUCKLING )
- Come on, girl.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We're heading for town.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Just wait 'til you see
Frank Blake's eyes

{\a1\pos(201,460)}when we tell him
he's a millionaire.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You're welcome.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ♪ Nothing to do

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- ♪ Nothing to do ♪
- ♪ There's nothing to do ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ♪ Nothing to do
- Nothing to do ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ♪ Nothing to do
- Nothing to do ♪

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Oh, careful,
there's a speed trap here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )
( CHILDREN SHOUTING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Thanks for the treaty, mister!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Thanks for the continent!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- This was a time
when Denver Pyles

{\a1\pos(117,460)}roamed the land freely.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ♪ Ding ding ding
Ding ding ding ♪

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Eggnog--
make it a double.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, Jonathan,
how are you?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Merry Christmas.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And get your dog
out of here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- How about it,
on the house?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Well, how about you, pup?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Jim Beam, rocks.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Can't call you pup anymore,
can I, fella?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Can't call her a fella,
neither.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}-{\r} He's neutered.
- Say, that's right.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Excuse me, beautiful.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- She's looking
right at his throat.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Well, how's it
going, Jonathan?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Shep and me
ain't complaining.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Well, I am.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Uh, Steve,
has Frank been around tonight?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Frank?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Frank Blake?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Be right back.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I'll go see
if Miss Kitty's here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Thanks, Steve.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Deal me out.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hi, folks.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Jonathan Harvey?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Hm?
- What, what is-- oh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- That's right.
I'm Lin Taylor.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I love your work.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Sorry we couldn't
let you know, Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Martha wanted to,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}but there was no way
of finding you in time.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Time for what?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Frank's dead, Jonathan,
over a month ago of pneumonia.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Frank, hm.
Frank, hm, hm, hm.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Frank, hm.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Tommy worries me, Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Tommy?
Who's Tommy?

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Do you know
that he's never once cried?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ah, just hit him
with a class ring.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- If he could just let it out.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- We'll work it out, Martha.
We'll find a way.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}But right now,
what about this fella, Taylor?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Lin's a fine man.
He's been wonderful.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Why did Frank take him in
as a partner?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- He had to.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}Lin's buying in when he did
kept us from losing everything.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I see.
- Now, who's Lin?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Does that make him a partner
of grub stake rights?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Yes, why?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Jonathan,
you've made a strike!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I've got something
to show you.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No!
- No!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ooh!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, it's okay.
( KNOCK ON DOOR )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It's the feds!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Now, is this the real old west
or the Roy Rogers old west--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Come in.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- --where they had
electricity and cars.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Lin, Jonathan's inside.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm so glad you're here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Jonathan has something
to show us.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- He's the world's largest elf.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Look at this.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- A piece of key lime pie, hm.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I found a vein of that.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}If it's deep enough,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}it could be the biggest strike
this territory has ever seen.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That's why we've got to
file a claim and quick.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- File before it's proved?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You file now and word gets out
that you struck ore like this--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Who's that guy?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- --every claim jumper
in the territory

{\a1\pos(138,460)}will be in those hills
in a week,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}before you're sure yourself
if you've hit the main vein.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- By gad, you're right.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Thirty years
of mud scrabbling;

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and when I do find
the glory dust,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I go off half-cocked.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- But enough vernacular.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mr. Taylor--
- I love you.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Martha's right about you.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- You're odd.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- And right now
you can start working

{\a1\pos(78,460)}and being a partner
by lining me up some supplies.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Of course, Jonathan,
anything you need.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Meet you in the store
in a half hour.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- Yeah,
I live to serve you, Cal.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Goodnight, Lin.
- What did he stop by for?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- If it's all right with you,
Martha--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'd like to know
who that guy was.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'd like to talk right
with Tommy.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- All right, Jonathan.
If there's anything you can do.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Shame him, humiliate him,
whatever you think is best.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I'm gonna snap this kid's will
like an old pretzel.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SAD MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Come on, now, cry, cry!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Tommy.
- Can you hear me?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Can you feel me near you?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- What's Rutherford B. Hayes
doing in this movie?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Tommy.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hm?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Jonathan,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Jonathan.
- Oh, Jonathan!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Why'd he have to die?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Ah, you must've done
something wrong, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I can't say.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I want my pa, Jonathan!
I want pa!

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- You know,
his head just doesn't have

{\a1\pos(117,460)}the structural support
for that hair.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Some things
we can't answer, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- God check time, Tommy!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- The Lord's got His way
of doing things

{\a1\pos(33,460)}that we just can't answer.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- But Jonathan,
isn't pre-determination based on

{\a1\pos(33,460)}an egocentric conception of a--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I didn't want to cry.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You go ahead and cry.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You baby.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Used to do it myself
sometimes,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}before my tears
all dried up on me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Not like this.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Now how about Shep here?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Those hills up there,
that's no place for a dog.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Hi, star of the film here.
- Least wise, not Shep.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- It isn't?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- No, no, it's too lonesome.
She likes folks around.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}The fact is she just plain
ain't happy up there.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- You guys talking about me?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- As for me, well,
I'm better off alone.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- That's for sure.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Lots of times,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}the dog is nothing
but a darned bother to me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, must you air
our dirty laundry?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Bothers you?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Shep?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Yeah-- you, Shep,
now go on, go on now.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Here, you get away.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Now go on, get away.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Sorry, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Now, what I'm sand-washing
up to with all this is--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Can you take over
her payments?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- How about taking her
off my hands?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, that's a great replacement
for my father.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Will you do it, Tommy,
will you?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You're an old liar, Jonathan.
- Hm?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I can't take Shep from you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}She's your dog, nobody else's,
'til she dies.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Thanks anyway.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}And look,
don't tell anybody I bawled.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Sure, you little wuss.
- Will you, please?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Honest to Christmas.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, everybody,
Tommy's in there

{\a1\pos(12,460)}crying like a little girl!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We didn't do so good.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Look, I've really
gotta go outside.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- All right, it's Christmas,
and giving is part of Christmas.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Snausages.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}JONATHAN: Anyway, you are
a bother to me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP WHINING )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Ah, be quiet.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Don't look at me that way!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Tonight on "The Advocates,"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}our debate will be about
the woman from today's short.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot
will argue over

{\a1\pos(54,460)}whether she's more attractive
sloppy--

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Yes.
- --or clean.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Clean.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Representing sloppy
will be Crow.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yes.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Representing clean
will be Servo.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Thank you.
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I will be your moderator.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The outcome will be decided
by Joel Robinson.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I now turn the floor
over to Crow.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( CLEARING THROAT )
- Uh, thank you, Gypsy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( CLEARING THROAT )
I like her sloppy.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}While her well-groomed,
in other words square,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}classmates were listening
to Pat Boone and Patti Page,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}she was at the local jazz club

{\a1\pos(96,460)}grooving to Miles, Monk,
and Coltrane.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}While her classmates
were struggling to make it

{\a1\pos(180,460)}through an issue
of Reader's Digest,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}she was the only woman
on campus

{\a1\pos(117,460)}who could freely quote
Henry Miller.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She may be sloppy,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but she fits neatly
into my idea of paradise.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Thank you.
Tom Servo.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- ( CLEARING THROAT )
Thank you, Gypsy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I like her clean,
'cause it just shows

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that she wants to change
the system from within.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Sure, she's a seething
cauldron of passion,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}but she wears
clean underpants,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and she knows where her shirt is
in the morning.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Call her what you will:
a Scoop Jackson Democrat

{\a1\pos(54,460)}or a Jacob Javits Republican.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Either way, she's the stuff
that dreams are made of.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Thank you, boys.
- Thank you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And now Joel Robinson
will render his verdict.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Joel.
- Well, thank you, Gypsy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Uh, both of these issues
are complex,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and there are no easy answers,
but Crow is right.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Woo-hoo!
I'm right, I'm right! Hoo-hoo!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Look, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho,
whoa, whoa!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Wait a minute, Joel!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now, the whole subject of
cleanliness and grooming

{\a1\pos(96,460)}is very important to me,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and I know a much more
effective way

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to resolve this issue.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, uh, how's that?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- A spitting contest.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SHOUTING )
- Ow, ooh, oh, hey!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Wait, wait.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, knock it off. Hey!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Don't even say it.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- But I wanted a super soaker.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Aw, gee, that Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, that son of a--
ha, ha!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Merry Christmas, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Merry Christmas, Ma.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Look!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Yes, dear, I know.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- He's got mange, distemper,
and lots of ticks.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- "Dear Tommy,
I put it up to Shep.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}She agreed with me.
She's yours.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Merry Christmas
from Jonathan."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Where is Jonathan?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- He's dead.
Open your other gifts.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- He's gone.
- Gone?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Is it all right, Ma?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Can I really keep her?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- That's what he wanted, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Thanks, lady,
you were my last hope.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh, man, shouldn't have eaten
all those socks.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Divorced, harassed
by creditors.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Come on, pretend
that you like me, girl.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, man, I shouldn't have
eaten all those socks, ugh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( THUNDERING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Heathcliff, Heathcliff!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Arf!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( HUMMING TUNE FROM
"THE GREAT ESCAPE" )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- No one escapes
from Stalag 13.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}TOMMY:
Shep, oh, Shep.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Come on,
it's dress-up time.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Tonight, you're
Marlene Dietrich.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Shep.
- You're drunk, aren't you?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Bad dog!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- What's the matter
with you, Shep?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm tired, okay?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Ma!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ma, something's
wrong with Shep!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, they shaved Shep,
and that's all that's left.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}TOMMY: What's wrong with her,
Mr. Bald Eagle?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Please, it's Bald.
TOMMY: What's wrong?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Huh?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- He said dog Shep not eat,
because she wants to go home.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- To Jonathan?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I gave you the best years
of my life.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- He say dog starve until die
if not go Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Must drag butt
across driveway.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Thanks, Mr. Bald Eagle.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Thanks.
- Lassie can get dressed now.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Goodbye, Red Wing.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now we've gotta get her
to Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Please say I can take her.
Please, Ma.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Maude?
- Well, I don't know, dear.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Oh, hi.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- How could you ever find him?

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Shep could.
She knows where the claim is.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'll ride her there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- But you still
couldn't go alone.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'll take him, Martha--
be glad to.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- He's hot for
the widow Martha.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Gee, thanks, Mr. Taylor.
- Aw.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Did you hear that, Shep?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}We're going to take you back
to Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}Now you've gotta eat
and get strong for the trip.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Look, I've got a lot of
other things on my mind.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Here, take some.
You've got to.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Come on, it's milk of
human kindness, two percent.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- He's not mine, but I let him
live with me, heh.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Ma, look!
She's eating!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}She's gonna be all right!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Now, look,
if you keep this down,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}you can have some soda crackers
and watch "That Girl."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ♪ The biggest sky
You ever saw ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Was in Seattle
Do-do-do-do-do ♪

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- He only lived
a couple of blocks away.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- That's not exactly
the incredible journey, is it?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Shep, what is it?
Jonathan!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- It's a cabin,
you little turd.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}JONATHAN:
Here, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Jonathan, what's wrong?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hm?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}JONATHAN:
Fever.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It hit me a week ago.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Match sure lit up the room.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- The worst is past.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Quick, get him
a bowl of milk.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- So weak, I couldn't
get food any longer.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- That's what was
wrong with Shep.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}She knew.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}She wouldn't eat.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}She made us bring her here.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- No, you're reaching, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Ma's right, Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Shep's your dog
and nobody else's.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}So, I'm giving her
back to you, right now.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Never mind the dog, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Here's the Sex Pistols.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}- Tommy,
you rustle up some wood.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'll see about the food.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Well, we worked
the scam again.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We get another free meal.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I'm all right, girl.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I just got into
a bad deer carcass.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- And thanks.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Taylor--
- Pass the salt.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- I guess you wonder how
our partnership's been going.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You were right.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}I'd have been a fool
to file that claim.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}The vein petered out
in a week.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- That's great.
You got any Mrs. Dash?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- So, I just kept
working upstream.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Working?

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Simple stuff,
hardly worth a man's time.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- How's the Dinty Moore?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I'll show you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Tommy, go on over there
by the shelf.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Grab the teapot
and come after me.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}JONATHAN:
Now slide that chest out.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}The board underneath
will lift up.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Get my magazines out.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}JONATHAN:
Take them out.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Then you go in there
and shut the top.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Is there a point to this?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Look inside, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Do it!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- What are you gonna do
with all this Bisquick?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- How much is here, Jonathan?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, not much;
only around about 6,000.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- $6,000?
- No, drachmas.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}JONATHAN:
There's plenty more to come.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- 6,000.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- That bass boat
I've been looking--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You say
that's just from gravel?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You still haven't found
the main vein?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No, but it's up there.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}I aim to just work upstream
until I find it;

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and I will, as sure as
your name is Lin Taylor.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- My name is Tom Wopat.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Jonathan, do you realize
what this means?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- It means we're rich,
all of us.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Sure, we are, but that's not
what I'm talking about.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}You need help.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Now, look, I'm starting back
to town tomorrow.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}I'll take this gold
and deposit it in all our names.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}It'll be safe there,
and I'll be back.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Why, with proper equipment,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}we can take that gold out
ten times as fast.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Sit down and eat your stew.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- All my life I've waited
for something like this,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and I'm not taking any chance
on losing it now.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Grated cheese?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mount Rushmore
before it was built.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I just love these
new age type nature tapes.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}They're so relaxing.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- And a rapid runs through it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- We'll run the inlet channel
across there

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and build a smooth spot
below the rapids.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I love movies

{\a1\pos(120,460)}where they slowly
assemble the plot like this.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Now, what did we build again,
Steve?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Let her go, Tommy!

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Well, look,
Shep is Tommy's supervisor.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- We invented
the first water flume!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}It's fun!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Ha, ha, ha.
- Ha!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- We'll see one day's take
from this baby, Taylor.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Just wait.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- How long do I have to wait?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- First thing I'm gonna do
is buy me a montage, yeah!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yee-hoo!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- This bites.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Snausages!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- What is it
we're doing again?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Kenny Rogers as Moses.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Industry!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Any Snausages in there?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Come on, work!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Rutherford B. Hayes
strikes it rich!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Whew!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Santon!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I feel damp all over.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- It's fun!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- The world is dying.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- What? What?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Well, looks like the montage
finally blew over.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, it's Juan Valdez.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, it's someone else.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- The Denver Pyle look
was very popular this year.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We're being ransacked
by Tom Bombadil.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( HUMMING "BOMBADIL" )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Finally,
sweet Metamucil.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}There's the pretty underthings.
( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Go get it!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Go get what you put
in that saddlebag!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Solzhenitsyn?
- Oh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}TAYLOFor days,
you've been watching us,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but you didn't fool me.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I knew you were out there.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}You heard what I said. Move!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Come on, Kringle!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Go on. Go get
what you put in there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Taylor!
What's going on here?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You keep out of this,
Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I know what I'm doing.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Don't shoot my doppelganger.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Will you get it,
or don't you?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You crazy fool!
I ought to lay you low!

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Make him show you
what he put in that saddlebag.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I took something
from that for this house.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- He's lying.
Look for yourself.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No, Taylor, you look.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- No, you look.
- No, you look.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- You first.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Ah.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hm?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- He's Gideon!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Huh, he was already
sent out, huh?

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- But he was inside,
searching around, snooping.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- For food!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I would've prepared a table
in the presence of my friends.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, you're so holy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, my mistake.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- This is Pilot Pete, Taylor.
- Pile On Pete?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- If you'd been long
in these hills,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}you'd never have made
that mistake.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Don't make it again.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Come on, Pete.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Pile on.
- Let's see about that supper.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You a regular parson,
Mr. Pete?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Regular?
- No, son.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Reckon I'm as irregular
as they come.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Eww!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Gotta have roots
to be a regular parson.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'm a heretic.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Me, I ain't got the roots
of a tumbleweed.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Few things I love
above all else.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Larry and Balki.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- The Lord's mountains
and the Lord's sinners.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}So, I spend my time in one
looking for the other,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and I sure find them.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm a lawn gnome
in the summertime!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- What? I'm right here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You'd better leave Shep alone.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}She never makes up
to strangers.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- She don't?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Here, here, lady!
Here, lady!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( BOT GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Well, you've got her wrong,
Brother Taylor.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Thou sawest the beast that was
and is not, Revelation 17:8.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Why, there's plenty of love
in this dog

{\a1\pos(117,460)}for them that loves her.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ain't there, Shep?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Or maybe she just
likes my stew.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Book of me,
chapter 4, verse 12.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Heh!
- Pete--

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Give me my underthings back.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- This is from all of us.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- It's a carrot.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Well, in His name,
I thank you, Jonathan, Tommy,

{\a1\pos(204,460)}Mr. Taylor;
and you, too, lady fair.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- The name's Shep.
Remember it!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- The Lord be with you
in all your labors.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- And also with you.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Lay not up for yourselves
treasures on earth,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}but lay up for yourselves
treasures in heaven.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- In an interest bearing CD.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Matthew 6:19.
- Got the half.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}That's a little preacher joke.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}Well, I'm off
to the King Lear convention!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Get up, Gabriel!

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- So, this guy comes in,
stops the plot cold and leaves.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yep.
- Bye, Mr. Pete.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Goodbye, Pete.
- Goodbye.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Work for the night is coming ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- ♪ Look for the union label ♪

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ♪ Work through
The morning on ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- All right, new rule.
No crusty old evangelists.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}PETE: ♪ Work while the dew
is sparkling ♪

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Tommy, you go down to work.
- Wook?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I'll be along.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Do you mind explaining
yourself, please?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Well? You gave him dust.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That's a dead giveaway
we struck pay dirt.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}The old fool talks--
- He won't.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I've seen to that.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- He knows the law
of these hills, Taylor,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}and he lives by it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You could try doing the same.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, try piling on once.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Until you do,
I'm taking that gun.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I keep my own gun.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You're edgy, Taylor,

{\a1\pos(36,460)}and getting worse every time
more gold goes under that floor.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It ain't just being scared
someone will steal it, neither.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}It's having to split
it with Martha and me.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- You're crazy.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- "Only a quarter,"
you keep thinking to yourself.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}"I only get a quarter of it,
and Jonathan gets half."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That keeps
eatin' at you, Taylor.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I've been watching you,
and I know.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}That's why I'm
taking that gun.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Let's not fight
in front of the collie.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No, you won't do that.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}There's two reasons
why you won't shoot me, Taylor.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Three!

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- The first, you won't find
that vein without me;

{\a1\pos(183,460)}and the other,
the other is just a hunch

{\a1\pos(54,460)}that you haven't got the guts.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- And the third?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, I forgot where I was.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Uh, would this be a bad time
to bring up Snausages?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I was born in the house
my father built.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, man, I'm turning into
Victor French!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- It snowed.
Should we be working?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- There's a lot of closet space
in this cabin, huh?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, his pajamas are just like
his clothes, heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ah, the violins
are urging him on.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- The pistol.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Well, he's got
child-bearing hips.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Jonathan, Jonathan,
can I get a glass of water?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, oh, yes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, I just have to
touch that hair.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, soft.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- He's gonna kipe
his copy of "The Firm."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ooh, ooh, ooh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( SHEP GROWLING )
- No, no, cut, cut!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}No, Lassie, it's more of a--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( BOT IMITATING
FIERCE GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SHEP GROWLING )
- I said put it back!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hmph, well, okay,
I think I can stand up,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and walk over here,
and sidle over to the door,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}open it up, and run!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Works every time.
Ha, ha, ha!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Heh, heh, now we rock.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Good girl.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, my reward.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Squeaky newspaper,
Gaines-Burger,

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Snausage,
anything, huh?

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Well, he didn't see
the good grooming short, did he?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Don't think so.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Look, Big Foot
putting on a blazer.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Huh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- And so the little fellow
fled the vicious cabin.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Stallone in "Cliffhanger."

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Ah, he's gotta be careful,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}or he might fall right into
that matte painting.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, that's dangerous.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, this is far enough.
I guess I can go here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Heh, I guess
that convenience store

{\a1\pos(138,460)}isn't so convenient.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Ha, ha.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Note to myself: "Next time,
go the way you know."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Huh?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey! Ride 'em.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, man, is it tough
to get to the fourth tee!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ooh.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Leon Trotsky
in the action adventure

{\a1\pos(180,460)}you thought
he'd never make.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, back to the cabin.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, oh, I thought
that was a matte painting.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Good thing I didn't fall.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- All right, about time
for that nut goody.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Heh, heh, heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Why am I doing this?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- This old mountain.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- With an ice pick
through the skull,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}thus bringing to a brutal end
the passionate life of one

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Lev Davidovich Bronshtein,
Leon Trotsky.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, wow!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Gypsy,
that was terrific!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, thank you, guys.
- It was riveting!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, thank you.
- Oh, hi, everybody.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Welcome to
the Satellite of Love.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We're just finishing up

{\a1\pos(180,460)}this week's
term paper assignment,

{\a1\pos(162,460)}the topic being
"Famous Figures in History

{\a1\pos(33,460)}that Look Like the Cantankerous
49'ers in Today's Film."

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I did one on Aristotle.
- It's excellent, by the way.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Tom Servo did a hilarious
send-up of the Smith Brothers.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You should've been here.
I did both parts.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah-- and now
that we're all done,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}it's time for
Ovaltine and popcorn.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, I just love Ovaltine.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, hey, what about me?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, what am I,
burnt toast here?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, I'm sorry, Crow.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And now Crow T. Robot.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Uh, uh, put my study aid up.
- What?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- My study aid.
It fell down.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Put that up.
- Oh, okay, all right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, and, uh, Cambot,
cue that music, please!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( CLEARING THROAT )
Rutherford B. Hayes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( CLEARING THROAT )
Rutherford B. Hayes was born

{\a1\pos(117,460)}humbly to his own son,
Rutherford B. Hayes, Jr.,

{\a1\pos(204,460)}in Delaware,
while it was still Ohio,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}sometime after
the French Revolution.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Rejecting a career
as a professional speller,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}he was admitted to the bar
in 1845,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}though he did not drink
lustfully from it.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Uh-huh.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Serving heroically
in the Civil War,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hayes admitted later
that it was in the army

{\a1\pos(54,460)}he first tasted human flesh.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}In 1876, Hayes beat Bill Tilden
in a three-set quarter final

{\a1\pos(138,460)}at Flushing Meadows,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}which caused
the electrical college

{\a1\pos(57,460)}to declare him
President of the United States.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Uh, Crow, you just kind of
threw this together, didn't you?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Please, Joel, I'm quoting
from the World Book,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}chapter H.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Huh.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- ( CLEARING THROAT )
Here are a few of the highlights

{\a1\pos(138,460)}of the administration
of Rutherford B. Hayes.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- In 1877,
reconstruction ended,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and Jaques Derrida was named
Secretary of Linguistics,

{\a1\pos(36,460)}and the era of deconstruction
began and continues to this day.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I just don't think that--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Thomas Edison invented
the pornograph,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}beginning the age
of pornography.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}President Hayes
then passed the Hayes Act,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}started the Hayes Office,

{\a1\pos(141,460)}won fame
as an American lyric tenor,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and was named Archbishop
of New York in 1919.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I think he's lying!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- No, I'm not.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( CLEARING THROAT )

{\a1\pos(57,460)}After he retired,
he founded the original ZZ Top,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}with James Garfield--

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, yeah.
- --and Chester Alan Arthur,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}shocked the world
with a publicity stunt,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}when, on a bet,
he made a tent

{\a1\pos(138,460)}out of the underwear
of William Howard Taft--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, come on!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- --and lived inside
for a full year.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Well, he did.
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- And in later years,
Hayes retired from the stage

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and did a series of memorable
character parts in Hollywood.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Who can forget the time he was
slapped by Jacqueline Bisset

{\a1\pos(54,460)}in the 1971 Universal movie,
"Airport"?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHING )
- Who was that?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- And then after inventing
ringworm, Hayes died.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}His last words were,
"I have only one life to live;

{\a1\pos(12,460)}let me live it as a blond."
The end.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Whew.
- Oh, and his blood type was AB.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}The end.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Sad what the mind can do,
isn't it?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, I'm gonna have to
hold you back a year, Crow.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}- Cool.
Can I have my same desk?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( ALARM GOING OFF )
( SHOUTING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Rutherford B. Hayes.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I want you to take this
to your Ma.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Rutherford Hayes
all through my brain!

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- Tell her I said we're
going to file it right away.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's a description of the claim
made out in all our names--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}hers, Taylor's, and mine.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Is there anything wrong,
Jonathan?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- No, this is just in case
someone gets the bright idea

{\a1\pos(222,460)}to file it only
in their own name.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( BOTS WHISPERING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, Mr. Taylor.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- But remember,
whatever happens,

{\a1\pos(99,460)}not a word to anyone
about my doubt, even your ma.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Promise?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Now, come on,
hightail it.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hurry up.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, and if you run into
Pile On Pete, don't look at him.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Tell your ma not to worry.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- I will.
Bye, Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, oh, and bring me back
some OJ and a Cosmo magazine.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Shep, where are you?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Shep, what is this?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I ate some gold.
- What ails you?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You know, between us, we've
got to take care of that boy.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}He don't know these trails
like we do.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Oh, it ain't for good
this time.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You're coming back.
Now go on, git.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yes, master,
I'm your total slave.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- There goes one stupid dog.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Jonathan!

{\a1\pos(243,432)}Jonathan...

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I set a trap for you and-- oh.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Where are they going?
- I sent Tommy home.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}The kid's getting lonesome
for his ma.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}What's all the excitement?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Jonathan, that vein
we've been looking for--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}if it was up there,
what would it look like?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Well, uh--
- No, I'll tell you.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}The sheer face
of the cliff,

{\a1\pos(183,460)}white cords,
the whitest you ever saw;

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and in it,
jagged like lightning,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}a vein of pure gold.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Gold, Jonathan, that wide.
It's up there.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}So help me, I found it.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}It's up there
waiting for us!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Where?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- At the head of the canyon,
way up.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, let's go.
- It's where I'm gonna kill you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ooh, I can never
keep a secret.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- How do you work
this crazy thing?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Come on. How stupid
are you feeling today?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- The British are coming!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Get away from me, dog.
The British are coming!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Would you just get away?
The--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- It's the Von Trapp
family prospectors.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Go on, Shep!
Go on back!

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Home, girl!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wait a minute!
- Go back!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What? I'm a dog!

{\a1\pos(78,460)}I can't process
this much information at once!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Look, I'm 100 years old.
Where is this thing?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- You were sure right
about the mountain goats.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, you said it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Now let's see
if these two sequences

{\a1\pos(138,460)}relate to each other.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Go ahead.
- Break my day.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ooh, your hands
are really soft.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Come on,
I need to use the bathroom!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Is this the right place?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, he didn't make my bed.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Typical.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You know, there's a shuttle bus
that goes here.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Gotta get that stupid
bathroom key.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Man, he's really making him
work for his death.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Heh, heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- It's the ledge just beyond.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Let's go.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Come on over here.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}This is where
I put the loose rock

{\a1\pos(96,460)}for you to step on.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, oh, yes, yes.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, I failed
to take into account

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that he only weighs
63 pounds.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Well, where is it?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Son of a gun...
You know what?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's back a ways.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SNIFFING )
- Obsession.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Taylor!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- So, how much further?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Taylor, help me!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Taylor, for God's sake,
you can't!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Help me!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I haven't the guts.
Remember, Jonathan?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, throw that in my face!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Help!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( JONATHAN SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- How am I gonna explain this
in just barks?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Now, lunch.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}Oh, poopy.
Where did I put that rock?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, boy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, oh, hi, you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I bet you're wondering
what I'm doing up here.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}TAYLOR:
Hello, Shep.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- This is where Shep's
mastery of the stiletto

{\a1\pos(201,460)}comes in handy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Look, I don't even
want to talk to you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Here, Shep, come here!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- A lifetime of Snausages,
or I sing like a canary.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- What's the matter with you?

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Uh, Mr. Weatherwax,
what's the matter with me here?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I don't know. Do you?

{\a1\pos(57,460)}My trainer says
I'm not allowed to talk to you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I don't think his testimony
will hold up in court.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(117,96)}- Oh, he'll probably be
in a wheelchair,

{\a1\pos(138,96)}and I'm gonna have to
push him around.

{\a1\pos(117,96)}Oh, geez, he looks like
Pile On Pete's stew.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- It's like Batman in reverse.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Thank you, citizen.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- First I've gotta dig him
out of the dirt,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and he slides down
a dang mountain.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Aw, forget it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Time to get a new master.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Cinnamons.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Like I always say, a dog's
got to know her limitations.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ah, now, lunch.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Tyrone Power
has a sleepless night.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No, no, no, Pile On,
no, please, no.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- It's payback time.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SHOUTING/APPLAUSE )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Cool.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SNIFFING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Is that a bacon
and Snausage omelet?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}What the?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP SNIFFING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- That's where Jonathan's butt
used to be.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hello, Shep.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You can't talk to me.
I saw what you did.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Where have you been all day?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Looking for Jonathan?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- No, I caught a matinee
of "Oh, Heavenly Dog."

{\a1\pos(225,460)}- I'm afraid
he won't be back, Shep.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}That doesn't mean
you and I can't be friends.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}How about it?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, just let me work
through my grief right now.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Better be my way, Shep.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Or the highway.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I'd rather not have
anything happen to you.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}Might make things
harder for me to explain.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- No, no, no,
don't talk to me!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Stay on your side
of the room!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, look, if you don't--
I'm talking to a collie.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Geez, I am freaking out.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Uh, let's see,
my cash card, my keys.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Lassie, you,
you seen my wallet?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, that'll help,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}since there's no glass
in the window!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I'm walking out this door,
Lassie,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and I'm never coming back.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I hate my roommate so bad.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( WOLF HOWLING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I hear you, man.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Othello.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( WOLF HOWLING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Who left the iron on?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wait a minute!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'm in "Seven Brides
for Seven Brothers."

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, Shep.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, I'll have to
clean that up later.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( BOT HUMMING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh, I don't want to see this.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Get away from there!
Get away, I tell you!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, I'm a dog.
Come on.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- I said get away from there.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I'm saying--
( BOT GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Get away,
or you'll get what he got.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Rave on, sister.
All right, woman.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Okay, okay,
you can have the body,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but I get the gold.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I don't feel like fetching!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Looks like he buried the old
guy and his hat separately.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Lambada,
the forbidden dance.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( LIN SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Snausages.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Seven o'clock already?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Great, now a series of
very painful rabies shots.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, Lassie,
come out and play!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I love to watch him squirm.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Dope, you walked
right past me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I miss Lassie.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP WHINING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ah, I've gotta get that dog
her own key.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Hello?
Hi, I'm from PETA.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ah, you're probably mad.
Look, I was drunk last night.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm sorry.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hungry, huh?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP WHINING )

{\a1\pos(159,460)}I figured that would
bring you around,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and I've got something
all ready for you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Gonna be a Snausage, right?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, please,
let it be a Snausage.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Oh, I put up
a lot of poison last year,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but now we're just down
to the one jar.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- It's a deadly game
of cat and mouse,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}only with a dog and a man.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You know, the 1800's
were a golden age of gravy.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Aw.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Here, I hope you like
your Fritos.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, no, I had poison
last night.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, that's good poison.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Not hungry enough yet, huh?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}You will be.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I believe I ordered
a Greek salad.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Uh, can I just have
a rye crisp, please?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Little does he know
Lassie switched food.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He's eating Kal Kan!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP WHINING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You know, Lassie's
not really that hungry.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She just dug up Jonathan
and, well, uh--

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh.
- Hm.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- That's an odd taste.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, I can't stay mad at you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Is this what you want?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- So that's the way
it is, huh?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Mm-hm, mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Mm-mm. Souvlaki?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( BOT LAUGHING SINISTERLY )
- More?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Puppy Chow for a full year
'til he's full dead.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, no, get the Ipecac.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Eat it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Now get out of here.
Get out!

{\a1\pos(243,460)}And remember,
you asked for it.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Go die.
Die outside now.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, I thought so.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I get better service
at Planet Hollywood.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- He's not gonna die, is he?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, yeah, she's toast.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Old Lassie dead, dead, dead,
deader than a door nail, yep.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, this is where Lassie
gets the inspiration

{\a1\pos(201,460)}for her poetry.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Dude, she's gonna die.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Boy, do I feel stupid.
It's more my pride that hurts.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP WHINING )

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- Come on,
it's gut chuck time, Lassie.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Find it, find it!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, there she is,
200 yards.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You could make it
with iron sights,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}but you want to
use a scope, Crow.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hey.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Geez, a river runs through it,
and grapefruit runs through me,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I tell you, oh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I can't believe
I ate the whole thing.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- If I could just burp,
I'd feel better.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP WHINING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, she's a goner.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Probably having hallucinations,
right now,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}a little wagon coming out
of the kitchen cabinet.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yep, two paws in the grave.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hey, stop it!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I'm just being a realist,
Crow.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- This exercise will give
your dog buns of steel.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- What is this?
Camille?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I don't know.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Crawl!
Come on,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}you've never given up
on anything in your life!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Crawl!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( MAKING SILLY SOUNDS LIKE
CURLY OF THE THREE STOOGES )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( SHEP WHINING/BARKING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm coming, Elizabeth.
I'm coming to join you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I don't drink near the horses,
personally.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- You know,
that little puppy's dead, too.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh!
- Sorry.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP WHINING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Boy, is she milking
this thing.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, don't you
chew the scenery.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Don't you--
drop it, drop it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, I'm dying over here!

{\a1\pos(246,460)}- Lassie,
does that really help?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- When she's dying,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}she's going to take as many ants
with her as possible.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Will you keep it down?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, the great Lassie
is in trouble.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well, I stood in your shadow
long enough!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Lassie's been drinking again.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- You know, they're probably
dead, too, in fact.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Tom, that's enough.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Sorry.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- He's helping.
He's pumping her stomach.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- I need bicarb
and a hot needle here, stat!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SMALL DOG BARKING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, now he's massaging
her heart, oh.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SMALL DOG BARKING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( SPEAKING IN
NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, that's Indian,
all right.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Gibberish.
- I can hear the ocean roar.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( SPEAKING IN
NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- His tag says he's allergic
to penicillin.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hold on.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, yeah, nice heft.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This hide should bring in
ten bucks in town.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Natalie Wood.
- Now, these are scenes

{\a1\pos(180,460)}we didn't see in
"The Searchers."

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Bald Eagle in town.
Find quick.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Maybe he save dog.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- It's a tribal
Pippi Longstockings.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SHOUTING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( BOT WHISTLING LIKE SIREN )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ♪ Sobbin' women ♪

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Them sobbin'
Sobbin' women ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SHOUTING )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Huh?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- All his woodland friends
are coming to help him.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( BOT HUMMING EXCITEDLY )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( SPEAKING IN
NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(267,460)}- Hi!
Hey, what's going on?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, I saw them march down
at the post office.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( SPEAKING IN
NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Is that Russell Means?
Ha, ha.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Good heavens, boy,
you're right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, no, poison souvlaki.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( SPEAKING IN
NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, go get Jeff Chandler
and Joey Bishop.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Who am I gonna bill for this?
Wait a minute!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- This'll help,
a feather in a dilly bar.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( SPEAKING IN
NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Oh, wait,
I was doing a bar mitzvah.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Sorry, kid,
doesn't sound good.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Well, she will make
an attractive rug.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Hey!
- Sorry.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Please, Mr. Bald Eagle.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Isn't there anything else
you can do?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, I can do impressions.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( MAKING SILLY SOUNDS LIKE
CURLY OF THE THREE STOOGES )

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- Well, this is
cross-cultural, isn't it?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Uh-huh.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Are those Snausages
over there?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP WHINING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Shep, Shep, girl.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Mr. Bald Eagle,
you're wonderful.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Thanks--

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- That's outrageous!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I want to see
an itemized bill!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- ( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Wow, his teepee's
really nice.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I can't tell you
how stupid I feel

{\a1\pos(54,460)}about the whole poison thing,
Tommy.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Don't you worry, Shep.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Okay.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I'm gonna find out
about that poison.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Nothing's gonna stop me
'til I do.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- This is God. Stop!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( RUMBLING THUNDER )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, I just can't get
this darn novel started.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- It'll be really bad
while the weather holds.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, it sounds like
a Ken Nordine dream.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- One good stone
could start a slide

{\a1\pos(117,460)}that would cover the gold
forever.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- The old man never said that.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- You can't flash back to
something that never happened.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It's not fair.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( RUMBLE OF ROCKS SLIDING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Now the car's rolling.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( RUMBLE OF ROCKS SLIDING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Is that me?
Am I making that sound?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( RUMBLING THUNDER )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Boy, Dutch Elm
can strike quick.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hmph, dog gone,
don't see that every day.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, back to the book.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Vandalism.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Dang kids drink cheap wine,
listen to Anthrax.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Look at this.
Ah, hm.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, thank you, God.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Thank you so bloody much!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, divinity.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( BOT HUMMING THEME SONG FROM
"2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY" )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, so that's the lesson,
Joel?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Crime does pay?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- No, that's not the lesson.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- No, the damage is done.
It's in my memory banks.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Crime pays-- zip lock.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Look at that dog gone ridge.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hey.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Shep's back, and this time
it's personal.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}TOMMY:
Shep, come here!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Shep--
TOMMY: Where are you going?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You've got to write to
Mr. Eagle, a thank you note.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- The old guy is still alive,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}'cause he had a straw with him
to breathe with.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Or he's a hellish zombie.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wait a minute.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}These bags
are full of Snausages.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Lassie!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- It's easier than balancing
your checkbook, believe me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( WOLF HOWLING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, I'm a bad boy!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Taylor is almost
wolfman-ish.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, he gave himself
a Lilt home perm.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Stay off the moors!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Shep!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Don't kid yourself!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( BOTS WHISTLING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'm looking for a man
with true grit.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- The bottom of the fifth,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and Lassie paces the mound
nervously.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( WHISTLING THEME FROM
"LASSIE" TV SHOW )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, that's it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- This dog is dumb as a post.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Here, puppy.
Come here, puppy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yes, puppy.
- What the?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, if he shoots the kid,
all bets are off.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We're gonna
trash the theater!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yep.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'm bringing home the baby--
oh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Tommy, what are you
doing here?

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- What a mess!
What have you been doing here?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Where's Jonathan?

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- He's gone.
He's been gone for three days.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Where?
- I don't know.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Over towards Blue Mountain
somewhere.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Over to the mega mall.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- He went to pick us up a deer
for meat through the winter.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Camp Snoopy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I heard his whistle.
- You couldn't have.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Shep must've, too.
She was barking.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Where'd you see, Shep?
- Indian kids found her.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}She was almost dead.
- I didn't do it.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- From poison.
- But she's all right now?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Yeah, but I knew Jonathan
would want to know,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}so I brought her back.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Dang. I mean, good.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Mr. Taylor, are you sure
he's not here?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I know I heard.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I told you, Tommy,
he's not here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Please, sir,
may I have some more?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Shep! Shep!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Psst, hey, stupid kid,
I'm up here.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Here, Shep!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Why won't she come in?
I know she's out there.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Let me tell you about
the after life, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Don't worry about her, Tommy.
You're tired and upset.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}A good night's sleep,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and you can start home
in the morning.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sit down now and rest.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Tommy, you like refried
poison-- beans, beans!?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, boy.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'll fix you some supper.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SINISTER LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, cling peaches.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Button popped up,
but that's okay.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- We're having Beefaroni -

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, one gram of poison
per pound.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, how much do you weigh, kid?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I, I'd better unsaddle
my horse, Mr. Taylor.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'll be right back.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'd better think of a flimsy
excuse to leave, Mr. Taylor.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP WHINING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Shep, what is it?
- It's a grave.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- What is it, Shep?
- It's a grave!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Do I have to draw you
a picture?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Look, here's you, me,
this is the grave. Come on.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Eww, gross!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP WHINING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Shep, you killed Jonathan!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Life is pain, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Yeah, well, anyway,
there's more evidence over here.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on.
Come on!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, my God,
another grave!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Lassie's got him
buried everywhere!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Shep, be quiet.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Come on, your poison's
getting cold.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Shh.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hm?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, Jonathan's
dangerously skinny.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Watch the prints, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hec Ramsey needs that hat.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yes, it's Jonathan's.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- It has his stench.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}TAYLOR:
Tommy?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Can you hear me?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}TAYLOR:
Tommy!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Can you hear me?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Tommy!
Tommy, you out here?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- He's being followed
by a doughboy.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Danged smoochers
on my property!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come out, come out
wherever you are!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Tommy!
Tommy, is that you?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Tonight, Tommy goes
behind enemy lines.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( HUMMING THEM FROM
"THE GREAT ESCAPE" )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Joel!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Servo went and melted me
into a golden god!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}And it itches
a little bit.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Meets the new gold standard,
Joel, yes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Our very own Crow.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SINISTER LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Tom, Crow is not gold.
He's gold tone.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I painted him gold.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, you'd like me
to believe that,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}wouldn't you, Mr. West?

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- You know, Tom, Crow is
basically a high density Kevlar.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yeah. Really?
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Trying to head me off
at the pass, hey, Joel?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Tom, listen.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}If you break Crow down
into his essential elements,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}he's virtually worthless.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Yeah-- hey.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- How stupid do you think I am,
old man?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Put 'em up.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Listen, up here, snack items
have more value than Crow does.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You'd be better off
staking your claim

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to a box of Bearwiches,
Tom, okay?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- The point is, Joel,
he's gold, and he's mine.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SINISTER LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Together,
I can rule the world!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SINISTER LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, I'm really
worth a fortune.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}In fact, I want me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wait a minute.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yes, I'm mine!
I'm mine, all mine!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Come on, dummy,
it's time to extrude you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Thank you for extruding me.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Mm-hm.
- Sorry, Crow.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- No, no, let me go!
Let me go!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Where'd you get it?
Where'd you get it?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Craigie Way.
- It's Jonathan's!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}You lied!
He isn't away!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}He's dead!
You killed him!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He's buried over there,
and you killed him!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Shut up. Do you hear me?
Shut up!

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- No, I won't!
You killed him, and I'll tell!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}I'll tell everybody!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, how could you
possibly tell everybody?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You're wrong, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- You gonna tell the Chinese?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You're not gonna
tell anybody that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I'm gonna tell 'em.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Shep, help!
- Shut up, you!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Help, Shep!
- Ah, arf keba!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Thanks, Shep.
I'm outta here. Good luck!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ah, Jim Collie!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Dog tossing, tonight,
on "A Current Affair."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, must've been
Lassie number 12 or so.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- When did they build a corral?
They used corral draw.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, you.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Tommy!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Come on, Apache, jump it!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- This must be
"Regional Velvet."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Please, Apache,
you've gotta jump it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You've gotta do it.
You've got to!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Tommy, come back here!
Come back!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, you can't expect him
to come back.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Huh?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Ah.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- So, when you're the bad guy,
things just go your way.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Is that the lesson, Joel?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- No.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You little fool,
I ought to--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, maybe I should see
if you're alive.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Then I'll kill you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Either this boy is dead,
or his heart has stopped.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- Kid, you've got
a French horn in your chest.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He can't be dead.
He can't be.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Kaput, finis.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Uh-uh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I love my dead, gay son.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, I, I, I, I, I, I--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( BOTS MAKING SOUNDS
LIKE HORSE GALLOPING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ♪ Now, when the west
was very young ♪

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, look, he's doing a shadow
thingy of Abe Lincoln--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh. Sorry.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Now, wait, who is
that other shadow?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Is that Peter Pan
looking on?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- What a piece of work is man.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Here, here's some poison
for you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Now, come on, now, drink it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- It's Old Milwaukee.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- You're all right now, here.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Drink, Tommy.
- Tastes as great as its name.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Drink it.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}That's right.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Taste it all--
one awesome calorie.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- That's fine, boy.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- The first one is free, kid.
The next one's on you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah-- oh, and you were there,
and you, and you, and--

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Get away from me!
Leave me alone!

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Listen, son,
you've got to listen to me.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'm trying to redeem myself.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- There's nothing
to be afraid of.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}You're here, perfectly safe,
and I brought you here.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Just think,
no school ever again.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Now listen.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You've been scared, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}I know that,
and it's my fault.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Because I tried to kill you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- That's, that's because
I was scared, too,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}so scared that I,
I almost lost my head.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Here, look, I wet them.
Now do you believe me?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- A man can be scared, too,
Tommy,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}even of a kid like you,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}especially if that kid gets
the wrong idea in his head;

{\a1\pos(222,460)}and you've got
the wrong idea, son.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah.
- You lied.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You utterly lied.
- You said he was hunting.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yes, yes, I lied.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You made me lie.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Because I knew
you loved Jonathan, Tommy,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}almost as much as
your own father.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}So, I, well, I didn't know
how to tell you just like that.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Am I soothing you, Tommy?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Jonathan is dead, son.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- And I helped.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- He was working up
in the canyon, and he fell.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- After I pushed him.
- It was an accident.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Shep told me to kill him.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Two days ago,
I found his body.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- And I laughed.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Well, I buried it
where you saw.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, I buried him, yeah.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I was coming in tomorrow
to tell your ma.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- If you want anymore facts,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}you'll have to speak
to my lawyer.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Shep.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Shep doesn't like you, Tommy.
She told me that.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Where's Shep?
- Why, Shep's all right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I saw her outside
a while ago.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- She's cool.
- Shep was like you, son.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Bad.
- She got the wrong idea, too.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, yeah.

{\a1\pos(225,460)}- So, let's,
let's both of us forget

{\a1\pos(75,460)}about what happened tonight,
shall we?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Bury it deep--
- Right.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- --real deep, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I guess so.
- Sure we will.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now, you get some sleep,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and you'll be fine
in the morning.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SINISTER LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(141,460)}Just sleep, son,
and forget the whole thing.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mm, honk shoe
honk shoe, honk shoe, hm.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}PETE:
Ho!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( BOTS YELLING LIKE TARZAN )

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hello!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Hey, there's a really loud
French guy out there.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hello there!

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Oh, no, Pile On Pete,
Pile On Jack, Pile On Roadie.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Tommy, wake up.
- The Pile Ons are here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We have company, son.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}And don't forget
what we talked about last night.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}About the accident
to Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Better let me do
all the explaining, all right?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}PETE:
Hey, Jonathan!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What's happening?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hi, Mr. Taylor.
Mel Steiner and Carl Crane.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- They're with the DA.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- This runaway
come into their camp

{\a1\pos(54,460)}over in Oak Flats last night,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and I thought I remembered
he was yours.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}They was breaking camp
for winter anyway;

{\a1\pos(33,460)}so, on the way into town,

{\a1\pos(99,460)}figured we'd cut across
the ridge and fetch him back.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Maybe pile on you.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Why, hello, there,
Tommy boy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He's a murderer!
- Hi, Mr. Pete.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Gee, I'm sure glad to see you.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- We both are, Pete,
mighty glad,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and thanks for bringing
the horse back.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Sure. Where's Jonathan?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- It's a good thing
you men came along.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Come inside.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}I'm afraid I've got
some bad news for you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Remember last week
when he was alive?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, that didn't last.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}PETE: And in thy
heavenly kingdom, Lord,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}let him find peace.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And let him pile on.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}PETE: That peace
which passeth understanding.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- At least I don't get it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}PETLet the gold he sought
on earth be his in heaven,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}the pure and shining gold
of thy holy grace.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Let's skip a bit, brother.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We ask it, Lord--
- Very slowly.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- --in His name, amen.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Now the jets will fly
in the missing man formation.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( BOT MAKING JET SOUNDS )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, custom says
we throw a handful of dirt,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}but I've got a wicked idea.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, no, no.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Come along, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Don't pile on me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Let's turn to a life of crime,
Tommy.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Come on, Shep.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Thanks, Pete,
and I'll count on you

{\a1\pos(54,460)}to explain everything in town.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- That I will.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- As long as you can take Tommy
and the dog back for me,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'll probably stay on up here
'til spring.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Right.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}TAYLOR:
For everyone's sake,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'd like to prove
Jonathan was right.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}PETE:
Yeah, worked it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}TAYLOR: You see, he was sure
there was real pay dirt here.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}PETE:
Rave on.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}TAYLOR: So far,
we've never found it.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}And, Pete, do all you can
to help Tommy, will you?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Adults suck.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}TAYLOYou know, kids sometimes
imagine all sorts of things,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and Jonathan's accident
hit the boy pretty hard.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- So did I.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}TAYLOR:
I'm sure you understand.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}PETE:
I do indeed, Mr. Taylor.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Pete, he's lying!
Don't believe him!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Please don't believe him!
It wasn't an accident.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Jonathan didn't fall.
He killed him.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I know he did.
Pete, he's lying!

{\a1\pos(75,460)}He's lying about everything!
- Tommy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Kids say
the darnedest things, eh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- The boy's hysterical.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- He hated Jonathan,
and he killed him;

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and last night,
when I found out,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}he tried to kill me, too.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}He's lying, Pete.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Tommy, listen to me.

{\a1\pos(267,460)}You say
I wanted to kill you?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Where did you sleep
last night?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Who picked you up,
when your horse threw you,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and carried you to the cabin?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Tommy, you slept six feet
from me the whole night through,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}safe and well.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I didn't even kill ya.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Does that sound like
I wanted to hurt you?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Answer me.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Pete, don't believe him!
He did do it!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Shep knows, too.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}That's why he tried
to poison her!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You want I should
pile on him here?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You don't believe me.
- Nope.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- He said the claim
didn't pay out, but it did.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}There's bags full of gold
in that cabin, a dozen of them.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- If that's true,
I guess you can show us, son.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I will, come on.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Mm, this is turning into
a parlor mystery.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I bet there's gonna be
three different endings.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- It's just as bright indoors
as out.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Faced.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- There was more,
a lot more.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}He's done something
with the rest.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- He's been eating coal a lot,
sorry.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You'd better take these
back to Martha.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}I was holding this,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}hoping that I'd have
a bigger haul by spring.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- There is more now,
a lot more.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Shut your hole, Tommy.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- Mr. Crane,
can't you see he's lying?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Mr. Steiner,
don't believe him.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Please don't believe him.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I guess
we'd better be going.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Please, Mr. Pete.
- Tommy, don't.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You're embarrassing me.
- Come along, son.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You'll be hearing
from my lawyer, kid.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We're talking money.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}TOMMY:
Come on, Shep.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I know where you live, Taylor.
Time to die.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Lady, come on, come on.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I'm barking like a canary,
Taylor!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Never piled on a dog before.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- There's not a pound
that'll hold me, Taylor!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}PETLady, come on.
- I'll be back.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Wild dogs can't be broken.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}TOMMShep, come back!
Shep!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You'll never pile on me,
old man!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- The celebration
starts early.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, Mr. Shep, you have
a nasty habit of surviving.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- All right, throw the Snausages
out nice and easy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( GUNSHOT )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Prepare to meet Kali.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mm, smart dog.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Took Taylor out of his season,
so he's vulnerable.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, wait a second.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I think Barbasol had
an industrial spill.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh.
( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- That's weird.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Come on, dummy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( GUNSHOT )
Woof!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Can taste the ozone
on that one.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Okay, the DA is supposed to
meet me here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ooh, ooh, that's cold.
Oh, boy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, my dogs are killing me.
Ooh, ah, ooh!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}This is no place
for a convertible!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- She's taking him up K2,
see, because she's a canine.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Watch out for squibs, Lassie!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, Lassie got down
on all fours.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Let's see this guy do that.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, look at all
the footprints.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They're at a ski resort.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh.
( GUNSHOT )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He, what are you,
Claudine Longet?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I know what you're thinking.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Did I fire six shots
or only five?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, this film
is so poorly made,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}it doesn't matter.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SHEP BARKING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}( BOT MAKING SPITTING SOUNDS )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm going to teach you
the meaning of arf.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- The Fido Sanction,
where beagles dare.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Three years later--

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GUNSHOTS )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, now she's gonna have
to be saved by a St. Bernard.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Hm...

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The most tedious game.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ugh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, he's turning into
Michael McDonald.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- That's right.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Stashed a bag of Cycle Two
up here somewhere.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Wait a minute.
Now, what was my plan?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I started chasing a rabbit,
and I forgot what I was doing.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- ♪ She came from somewhere
out of the long ago ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know, it's warm
in the foothills.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}If you're going out to
chase a dog today,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}you might want to
take a jacket.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Looks like a good place
to end this little charade.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Uh, this is no good.
We're on top of the monument.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You know, they did
a lot of takes there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- This is where
Holmes met his end,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}at Reichenbach Falls.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, yeah,
Reichenbach, Texas.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- No, no,
that's Luckenbach, Texas.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- So, it's Luckenbach Falls?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Never mind.
- It's--

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, his hair turned gray
so gradually,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I didn't notice it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- This is like the end
of "The Shootist."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- All right, Lassie,
make your move.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( BOT WHISTLING
AND SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- This is gonna work, steady.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- He's turned into Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Uh, uh, Russ, Russ,
this guy's serious, Russ.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Where are you?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Check out
your left shoe, mister.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You stepped in my pee!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SINISTER LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Alex Trebek, no!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Gun's turned into
a bomb pop!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, some kind of problem?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wait a minute.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}I've hit absolute zero,
and I'm still walking around.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}How'd I do that?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Snausage, honey?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now smile for me,
golden boy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Slowly I turned,
step by step.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- This was really cheap.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}They just reversed the film.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Now what, is he going to run
all the way back down now?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, wait a minute.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Aren't they supposed to turn
into a big snowball

{\a1\pos(96,460)}when they fall like that?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, for the want of a Frisbee.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Friends?
Nice pooch.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Never let a dog
sense your fear.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Offer him your hand.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, he's offering
some prime butt to bite.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hoo-hoo.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, man, this is
one tough ski kid.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He's in Camelot.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Merlin, Merlin,
turn me into a bird

{\a1\pos(117,460)}so I may fly from here.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Wait a minute.
Lassie started a forest fire?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The plan's getting
more elaborate all the time.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Wow, and he's turned
all the way into Lon Chaney, Jr.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC )

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- Oh, perfect.
This fits right into my day!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Wait a minute. All I have
to do is hang glide down

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and have a cool
Canadian club.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Shep, is this supposed to be
poetic justice?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I don't do poetic justice.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- No, Shep.
That was an accident.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}No, I didn't do it.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Guys, this couldn't be lamer.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No.
( SHEP GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Don't do it.
Don't do it, please.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I mean, the dog should make
his brain explode, scanner dog.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}That I would buy.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Ooh, that'd be cool.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Please, Shep,
please, please!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Shep, no, no!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Grizzly Adams.
- I didn't mean it, no, no!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You don't know me, but-- ah!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Ow, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ow, ooh, ow.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, gun's loose now--
thanks!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- License revoked.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- We should've tried
the bunny hill first.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Heh, heh, heh, gotta laugh.
Poor bastard.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, gotta do my business.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Mm, thought I'd feel good,
but I feel kind of empty.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Folks, folks,
I had to do it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He killed my best friend,
and he poisoned me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I can't testify in court.
I'm a dog!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Actually, I accomplished
quite a bit today.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Shep! Here, Shep!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, look, they're inside
one of those shaky snow worlds.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Mm.

{\a1\pos(159,96)}- She's lost, Pete.
We'll never find her.

{\a1\pos(33,68)}- We'll keep trying, son.

{\a1\pos(54,96)}- So, what exactly does Tommy
get out of all this?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hm?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- My mouth's bleeding, Bert.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Now that I think of it,
this doesn't look so good.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Let's see, what can I say?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( WIND HOWLING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, hi, Pile On Pete.
Got some Snausages?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- And so the little fellow
found the murderous collie.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Shep, what's wrong?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You've killed again,
haven't you?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- It's all right, Shep.
Sure it is.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I didn't do it, honest.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}My ears don't wiggle
when I'm lying.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- "The Painted Hills,
Blood Quest 2:

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Some Things They Don't Teach
in Obedience School."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'm having a personal
pants pile on.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Look out, Tommy! He's learned
the taste of human blood.

{\a1\pos(138,96)}- All that was filmed
in Hollywood?

{\a1\pos(96,96)}And how did they do that?
Hollywood?

{\a1\pos(96,96)}- Didn't look like
Hollywood to me.

{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Oh, Pilot Pete!
Pilot with a "t".

{\a1\pos(180,96)}- See, we thought
it was Pile On.

{\a1\pos(138,96)}- Are our faces red.
( LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(201,68)}- I'm the ass.

{\a1\pos(180,68)}- Wait, one more.

{\a1\pos(201,68)}Ah, thank you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, that movie had
an interesting message.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, that any flea bag's
white hot vendetta

{\a1\pos(57,460)}should go unchecked
until the last man lay bleeding

{\a1\pos(96,460)}at the bottom of a ravine
with a crushed skull.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, that's what I got
out of it, too, Joel.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, come on, you guys.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Lassie was just doing
what she thought was right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, well, who died
and made that scabby mutt

{\a1\pos(222,460)}judge, jury,
and executioner, hm?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, somebody had to
bring that guy to justice.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, so is that the message,
Joel?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Take the law
into your own hands,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}even if you drink from
a bowl on the floor?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- No, well-- maybe.

{\a1\pos(96,68)}- Yeah, well, I say

{\a1\pos(33,96)}if that DA in that jerk wadded
two-horse mining town

{\a1\pos(222,68)}had any guts,

{\a1\pos(33,96)}he'd bring that shaggy butcher
up on murder one

{\a1\pos(117,96)}and make sure she never
nuzzled another crotch.

{\a1\pos(117,96)}- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, but she saw
Taylor murder Jonathan.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}She was hurt.
She had to lash out.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, great.
So, by your code,

{\a1\pos(78,460)}I accidentally bump my
Rottweiler with a screen door,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I wake up the next morning with
a severed cat head in my bed.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, good one, Joel.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Face it, Joel.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Your precious Lassie
should be doing

{\a1\pos(12,460)}consecutive life sentences
at the Crowbar Motel.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yep, we've got a body,
we've got a motive.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}The paw prints
and blood stains

{\a1\pos(138,460)}put her at the scene
of the crime.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- We've got witnesses
that saw her threaten him.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We've got a handful of people
who saw her slip her tether

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and go after him.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}That fur is gonna fry, Joel,
fry.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- What about a murder weapon?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Her own devious mind.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No deals on this one,
Robinson.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Your client's gonna fall.
She's gonna fall hard.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, there ain't gonna be
any deal this time.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You're going to the mat
on this one!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Listen, let me tell you,
you've got nothing!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Jail, jail, jail--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You've got nothing,
and you're scared!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Why, you're just
blowing smoke up--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}listen, I'm not gonna get sucked
into this with you guys.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Listen, Lassie is an animal and,
therefore, not subject to

{\a1\pos(33,460)}the same moral or ethical code
that human beings are;

{\a1\pos(96,460)}otherwise, they'd all be
arrested for public nudity.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, got a point.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, makes sense.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- What do you think, sirs?
I'm going to bed.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ugh, ugh!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Frank?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Frank, Frank, Frank, no!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hi, Joel.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Uh, Frank's dead again.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, I've gotta go out
and buy him a new heart now,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}like there's not enough
I've gotta do around here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Ohh.
- I'm coming-- geez!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )