Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988–1999): Season 5, Episode 1 - Space Travelers - full transcript
The guys watch "Space Travelers", an updated version of the movie Marooned (1969) about three astronauts trapped in a space capsule that is quickly losing oxygen. On the SOL, The Great Crowdini performs a stunt and the guys debate what they would do if one of them had to sacrifice themselves.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ In the not-too-distant
future ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Next Sunday A.D. ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ There was a guy
named Joel ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Not too different
from you or me ♪
{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ He worked
at Gizmonic Institute ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Just another face
in a red jumpsuit ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ He did a good job
cleaning up the place ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ But his bosses
didn't like him ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ So they shot him
into space ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ We'll send him
cheesy movies ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ The worst we can find ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ La-la-la ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ He'll have to sit
and watch them all ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ And we'll monitor
his mind ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Now keep in mind
Joel can't control ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Where the movies
begin or end ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ La-la-la ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Because he used
those special parts ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ To make
his robot friends ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Robot roll call.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Cambot.
- Tom Servo: Pan left.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Hi, girl!
{\a1\pos(180,68)}What a cool guy!
{\a1\pos(222,68)}Wisecracker!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ If you're wondering how
he eats and breathes ♪
{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ And other science facts ♪
{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ La-la-la ♪
{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Then repeat to yourself,
it's just a show ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ I should really
just relax ♪
{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ For Mystery Science
Theater 3000 ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ladies and gentlemen,
we direct your attention
{\a1\pos(285,460)}under the spotlight
to the great
Crow-deenie!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Huzzah!
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Lord of unseen forces,
{\a1\pos(348,460)}robotic ruler
of the misty
underworld.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}And master
of escape.
{\a1\pos(537,460)}Yes!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Tonight,
in my most daring
{\a1\pos(12,460)}and death-defying
dance with doom,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I will escape from these
cruel and unforgiving
{\a1\pos(12,460)}and somehow pleasurable
chains. Oh, my.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Magic Voice:
Commercial sign
in 15 seconds.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now, Joel, come here
and light the cannon,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}point it
at my head.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Don't worry, folks,
he knows what he's doing.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}He's the great
Crow-deenie!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, I saw Telly
do this.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}And now--oh, uh, Joel,
can you get that key?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}The key is kind of
central to this piece.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, no.
- ( explosion )
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Whoa!
- Oh, wow.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Bet you're wondering how
I got out of that one?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's simple, really.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Chewed my head off
just as the cannon
was about to blow.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Neat, huh?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I think
I'm ready to headline.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Don't try this
at home, folks.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, the Great Scout
and Cathouse Thursday
are calling.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}In his latest memo,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Mr. Katzenberg said that
he would not tolerate--
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Frank!
- Aah.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Quit sitting around
reading "Variety"
{\a1\pos(369,460)}when you should
be working.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}But, boss,
check it out.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}"The Last Boy Scout" has
dropped out of the top five.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Many of us
in the industry
{\a1\pos(12,460)}have taken note
of its lackluster
domestic performance.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I mean, look,
if Bruce Willis' career
{\a1\pos(12,460)}continues its downward slide,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}it could be a setback to
the forces of evil everywhere.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're right, Frank.
This is cause for concern.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Remember
"The Return of Bruno"?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Ahh.
- Ahh.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Well, let's skate on
to this week's
invention exchange.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Get on with it,
Joel.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}First came
the instant camera.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Then came
the instant cash machine.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I say, do what I do.
Put them together.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}And now you can put
anybody's kisser
{\a1\pos(96,460)}on any U.S. currency.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Gypsy, say
"Richard Basehart."
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Richard Basehart.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}See? It's called
the Dollar-oid.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Check it out.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}And now we've got
a special presentation
{\a1\pos(96,460)}by Sir Crow T. Robot
and Dame Tom Servo
{\a1\pos(96,460)}on some of the merits
of the Dollar-oid.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}( clearing throats )
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Excuse me,
Mrs. Retail Lady person.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I would like--
- Yes?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I would like to purchase
one of your fine products
{\a1\pos(12,460)}using this $5.00 bill.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, sir, if I'm going
to take that $5.00 bill,
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm going to need some
proper identification.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}No problem. My picture's
right here on the bill,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}so you can cash my fiver
with a clear conscience.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- How was that?
- Oh, how convenient.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Now all I have
to do--
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Wait a minute.
Joel, get in here.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}What's going on?
You don't need
identification
{\a1\pos(369,460)}for cash money.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}This whole concept
is absurd.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Here's a little
hush money.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Don't tell your mother
I gave you this, all right?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hush money?
Wait, wait, this money
has my picture on it.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's totally worthless.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}You could never
use money like this.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}What is this,
some kind of joke?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Am I some kind of clown?
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Do I amuse you
in some fashion?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Why do you think, sirs?
- It's absurd if the--
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Your invention is absurd.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's ridiculous.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}It makes absolutely
no sense whatsoever.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I love it.
Keep up the good work.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh, shut up, Frank.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, Mariette Hartley,
{\a1\pos(180,460)}our invention exchange
this week
{\a1\pos(180,460)}deals with the concept
of facial tissue.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}We've come up with
tissue that has faces.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}That's right.
Think right-wing
columnist Pat Buchanan
{\a1\pos(12,460)}is no one to sneeze at?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, now you can.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Frank's chosen
the Kleenex line
{\a1\pos(285,460)}of Presidential
candidates for '92,
{\a1\pos(264,460)}while I've relied
on the "Star Search"
{\a1\pos(306,460)}comedy competition
runners-up series.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}For instance,
there's Sinbad.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ah...ah...
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Women be different
than men--Ah-choo!
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Or there's
Rick Ducommun.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I hate...ah-choo!
{\a1\pos(285,460)}And what collection
would be complete
{\a1\pos(180,460)}without 10-time winner
Geechy Guy?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I lost to a damn
ventriloquist! Ah-choo!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know, I'm having
a hard time sneezing
into this thing.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I mean, maybe Pat Buchanan
really is no one to sneeze at.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}He's even more evil
than Bruce Willis.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Some fresh pepper,
Frank?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah. Ah...ah...ah-choo!
Ah-choo! Ah-choo!
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, no! Frank's sneezes
are in Sensurround.
{\a1\pos(474,460)}Frank, no!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ah...ah...ah...oh.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Your experiment
this week, Joel,
{\a1\pos(306,460)}is called
"Space Travelers."
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's actually "Marooned"
{\a1\pos(180,460)}with the Film Ventures
International treatment.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}A new credit sequence,
in other words.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}And the presence
of Gregory Peck
or Gene Hackman
{\a1\pos(264,460)}does not diminish
the pain in any way.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Frank, push the bu--
No, Frank, no!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ah...oh.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ah-choo! Ah-choo!
Ah-choo!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Absolutely ridiculous.
You can see the whole--
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( alarm )
- We've got movie sign!
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hey, it's
the big blue marble
{\a1\pos(201,460)}brought to you
by the unpainted place.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, that's strange.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Produced by me,
Al Frankovich.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}That's good.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}We're in it now
up to our necks.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Or pecks.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, Richard Crenna.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Lukey from
"The Real McCoys."
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Dagnabbit, Lukey.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ah, the one-armed man
is chasing me.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}I need a drink.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, James Franciscus.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Wasn't he
in "The Finder
of Lost Loves?"
{\a1\pos(180,460)}No, no, that's
Tony Franciosa.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}This is star-studded,
isn't it?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Wow.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh, Gene Hackman.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}He's good in anything,
you guys, really.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, he's really good.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Call Space Travelers.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're able to book
any vacation.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Oh, I get it.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's a cable access
version of "Marooned."
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Mariette Hartley.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}She's got two navels,
you know.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I wonder
if she's gonna be
{\a1\pos(180,460)}in "Genesis Two:
The Next Generation."
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Oh.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Never been
in anything.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Vince, oh--
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Oh, it could
be worse.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Vince Van Patten
could've been in this.
{\a1\pos(33,432)}You know, when this was made,
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Vince was just a gleam
on his father's forehead.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Lyle Wheeler from the
production design team
{\a1\pos(432,460)}of Wheeler
and Woolsey.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, and Walter
"Big Train" Thompson.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Like father,
like son.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Think about it,
won't you?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Frightening,
isn't it?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Boy, I could go
for some Fapp-jacks
{\a1\pos(264,460)}drizzled with butter
right about now.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Mm-hmm.
Fapp-jacks.
{\a1\pos(453,460)}Mayo Simon.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Is he related to
Lillian Hellman?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Lillian Hellman
sandwich bread
{\a1\pos(222,460)}has alcohol and
cigarette butts in it.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Come to M.J. Frankovich's
for imported Polish sausages.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}John,
you've done better.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'll say.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}John Tesh
at the keyboards.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}( humming )
{\a1\pos(12,460)}So let the carnage begin.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Here at
Phillips Petroleum,
{\a1\pos(117,460)}we've found ways to replace
the environment.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Take, for example, these
plastic self-cleaning ducks.
{\a1\pos(474,460)}( quacks )
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Here are trees
being assembled,
{\a1\pos(201,460)}workers replace clouds.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Pressurize
all of the tanks
{\a1\pos(12,96)}in all three stages
with gaseous helium.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}As the pressurization
builds up,
{\a1\pos(12,68)}it's being monitored--
{\a1\pos(96,460)}This used to be a wetlands
preserve in North Dakota.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, we've shellacked it
{\a1\pos(96,460)}and covered it
with an acrylic polymer.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}You can take it
to the terminal count.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Roger, Flight,
we are go.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Okay. Let's check status
with the terminal count.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}You think this is
one of those CB movies
from the '70s?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Pigpen, this is
Rubber Duck.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm gonna put
the hammer down.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Quiet,
Ratchet Jaw.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Go, all the way.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Panel Three.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Tape recorder forward.
Switch to forward.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Verify gray bar.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Roger, we have--
- Wow is this cool!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Roger, automatic sequence.
Start on my mark.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Roger, make sure
you don't put it
in reverse.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}All right, Jim, stand by
your panel 325 function.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- Roger.
- Fuel 3 pressure initiated.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Roger, fuel. This one's
gonna light on your toes.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}PCS bypass on.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}You know, Mark and Roger
do a good job
{\a1\pos(306,460)}down at the plant.
Oh, yeah.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}They do
a super job.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}This is launch control.
The second stage--
{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's pre-pay
after dark, sir.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Lift the handle, sir.
Lift the handle.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Looks like they're
cutting out the nose-cone
to spite the rocket.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Loud and clear, Dick.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}All right.
CMP on panel 2.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Verify program 2.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}We're go, Flight.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}All right, guys,
why don't you solve
your little problems
{\a1\pos(222,460)}and light this candle?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, light the candle.
{\a1\pos(348,96)}All recorders
to flight speed.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Sounds like they can't get
their VCR programmed either.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}RTC, you got everybody
configured for commands?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}That's affirmative.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Internal power and go,
Flight.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, it's the three stooges
{\a1\pos(138,460)}from "It's a Mad, Mad,
Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World."
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Standby
for the 10 second count.
{\a1\pos(432,68)}Roger, Ted.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Okay, everybody
gone potty?
{\a1\pos(180,68)}10, 9, 8, 7,
{\a1\pos(96,68)}6, 5, 4, ignition.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Guess we know what's
coming, don't we?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}I meant to say clear
the launch pad. Sorry.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Watch out
for the back draft.
{\a1\pos(12,432)}Hey, and it takes off, too. Wow.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Wait, that's
the ST-Saturn-V.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}That's a level 5,
you know?
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Oh, yeah,
tumble recovery.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}( chanting )
{\a1\pos(138,460)}You know, this movie works
{\a1\pos(180,460)}because we care
about the characters.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yeah, I do.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Charles Rocket.
- D'oh!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know, $8 million film
{\a1\pos(96,460)}and they're still using
stock footage! Jeez.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}( imitating Kennedy)
Before this decade
is out,
{\a1\pos(390,460)}we will make
a boring movie
{\a1\pos(306,460)}called
"Space Travelers."
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, yes. Yes, yes.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Bye.
- Pretty.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hey, The Residents.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yep.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Booster okay?
- Go, Flight.
{\a1\pos(453,460)}Go, Flight.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Well, actually,
this is more like
{\a1\pos(180,460)}the level of the Mars
Snooper level three.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yeah, it takes 3 Ds.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah. Oh, you're thinking
of the Cherokee, dude.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}That had the trunk
cover recovery.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}Take it or leave it,
Flight. We're go.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oops, that was me.
Sorry.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, come on.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Seen it. Yeah.
- Seen it. Yeah. Taped it.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}A few times.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I thought I told you to
check that trailer hitch.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Three boys
in plastic bubbles.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Yeah, but look
at that acting.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Hackman
is always good.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mm-hmm.
- He's good.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Take it out of first,
will you?
{\a1\pos(201,460)}There you go.
Thank you.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Looks like Pac-Man.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}The tower
has jettisoned.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Trajectory and guidance
are a go.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Joel, what is the big deal?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's three men in space,
{\a1\pos(138,460)}wearing helmets
that afford them a certain
amount of protection.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, I think the point
they've established so far
{\a1\pos(180,460)}is that they're
going into space.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I think that's
probably established.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Maybe we'll need another
10 minutes or so
{\a1\pos(180,460)}to make it clear.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I've seen that, too.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I hope they
didn't need that.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yep.
- Spacecraft systems are go.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Spacecraft systems
are go.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}All spacecraft systems
are go.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}So are all
spacecraft systems go?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm getting that idea.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- We have CECO.
- Roger, CECO.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Seka, on the ship?
Buck-a-wow.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ Sitting
around the lake ♪
{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ Mountains come out
of the sky and-- ♪
{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Doom, doom ♪
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Say no to Yes.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, look, they're wearing
jockstraps on their heads.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ( all laugh )
- Goofy.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hey, check it out.
Space capsule's
got a red butt.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Whoo-hoo.
- Whoo-hoo.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Pop-o-matic
pops the dice.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}I am Iron Man.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, you can see Aaron
Spelling's house from here.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Well, he worked
for Aaron Spelling
{\a1\pos(201,460)}when he starred on
"Finder of Lost Loves."
{\a1\pos(138,460)}No, no, no, that was
Tony Franciosa.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Hey, looks like
a fine day down there.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hey-hey.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I can see all the way
from Gibraltar to Greece.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'm a highly trained
professional
{\a1\pos(264,460)}and it's still cool.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Should be our first sunset
in a couple of minutes.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Check it out. I'm giving
Houston the finger.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Loss of signal
with Canary.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}( applauding )
{\a1\pos(117,460)}You know, he's always
good, isn't he?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Activate
TV transmission.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}No TV till
you do your homework.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}We remote to Houston
through Araya, Buzz.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Araya One, this is Ironman.
How do you copy? Over.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}On a Xerox machine. You?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Araya, I read you
loud and clear. Copy.
{\a1\pos(138,68)}I read you the same.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}On my mark, TV transmission
from camera A.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Mark.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hey, it looks like
Value Vision.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're huge. Over.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}How are you getting this?
{\a1\pos(348,96)}A little snowy,
Ironman.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}A little snowy.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}There we go.
( mumbles )
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Eh, just a little
Harry O. of the dog
that bit me.
{\a1\pos(348,96)}Clear now.
Good picture.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Well, say something, Ted.
Are we beautiful?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Do you think we're sexy?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Ironman,
this is Houston.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm sorry, I was
watching "Gidget."
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Could you repeat
that last remark?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}This material was obtained
{\a1\pos(96,96)}during their first week
in space.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I'm presenting it
as a point of reference.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Here's Pruett.
- Exhibit A.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Lloyd.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Stone.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's a blast,
that dude. He's good.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We got this
day before yesterday.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now look at this idiot.
Poor bastard thinks
he's a spaceman.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(96,96)}It demonstrates
a serious decline
{\a1\pos(96,96)}in the ability to perform
even simple manual tasks.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Like grinding coffee,
as we see here.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Just over five months
of the mission
{\a1\pos(96,96)}have been completed
satisfactorily.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We wonder if it
remains desirable
{\a1\pos(12,96)}to continue
for the full seven months
{\a1\pos(138,68)}originally planned.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Look here. This
is where he wets them.
Sad, really.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, boy.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}What are your parameters,
Courtney?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, let's just say
I cover the waterfront.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}EKG, rate and rhythm.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}EEG, brain.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- E.G. Marshall.
- He's not sleeping.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}E.G. Marshall?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}The trend shows
definite fatigue.
{\a1\pos(348,96)}Is he still
losing weight?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Another Jenny Craig
success story!
{\a1\pos(180,124)}The quality of the
solar spectral film's
been very poor.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Well, you're not
gonna see any more.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Why not?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Gets pretty weird
after this.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Take a look at this.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}It'll make you sweat.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, boy.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Millions of dollars spent
on this space program
{\a1\pos(306,460)}and no one thought
of camera straps.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's the little things,
really.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}He's tired and he's
making mistakes.
{\a1\pos(264,124)}You wanna try
living in a tin can
for five months?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, I lived in an efficiency
in Manhattan, you know.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- What else?
- We got this yesterday.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}They're putting on
a production of "Our Town."
Sad, really.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Some further degradation
to our CS system.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We've lost a backup coolant
loop in the oil thruster.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Man, Hackman's
really good in this.
{\a1\pos(285,68)}Yeah.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}The washing machine is out.
{\a1\pos(12,124)}I was doing
some preventative
maintenance on it
{\a1\pos(12,96)}and I guess
I shorted it out.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}I also discovered
{\a1\pos(96,96)}some computation errors
in the telescope settings.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I guess that accounts
for the poor quality
{\a1\pos(96,96)}in the solar
spectral pictures.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What, what, what?
- I don't know.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, oh.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I broke some
other stuff, too.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I made this thing
out of clay.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I think it's a duck.
{\a1\pos(306,68)}I fixed the razor.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'll send you a bill
for that.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(180,96)}So we can go back
to shaving again now.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(390,460)}I resent that.
{\a1\pos(138,68)}I'm sleeping better.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}He's high.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I guess we're all
getting our second wind.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yeah, we can smell it
down here.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}If the hardware holds up,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I guess we can
make it right to the end.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}I know I can.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}I can.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}For headache pain,
they need Excedrin.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Bring them down.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Yes, sir.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Honey, the meeting's over.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}You were right. We're
gonna bring them down.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}You're always right.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}Get everyone on that
in mission control.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, you know,
Gene Hackman's even good
in this scene.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yeah, James Franciscus
even better in this
{\a1\pos(222,460)}than he was in
"Find Our Lost Loves."
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Crow, that was
Tony Franciosa!
{\a1\pos(600,460)}Ahh.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Music by Tangerine Dream.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sounds like Tomita.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I don't know,
it kind of sounds like
that Irish chanteuse Enya.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}No, it sounds like
the last chord
{\a1\pos(201,460)}in "A Day In the Life,"
only they slowed it
way down.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's a little like
Wendy Carlos, so...
{\a1\pos(201,96)}This is mission control
Houston.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}The crew of Ironman One
{\a1\pos(180,96)}has closed down the S-4B
space laboratory
{\a1\pos(180,96)}in which they have
worked, lived,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}slept and eaten for
the last five months.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's like a golf
tournament.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Their Apollo spacecraft
{\a1\pos(180,96)}has separated from the
lab and at this time,
{\a1\pos(180,124)}the automatic sequence
of retrofire
is about to begin.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}10, 9, 8...
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Call in now
with your pledge
{\a1\pos(264,460)}and you'll get
this great tote bag.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}4, 3, 2, 1.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Thanks,
frick and frack.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Retrofire.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}The spacecraft should be
starting its descent
{\a1\pos(180,124)}across Australia
towards the splash point
in the Pacific,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}some 400 miles south
of Midway Island.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Jeez, he's
patronizing, isn't he?
{\a1\pos(180,124)}We're waiting now
for confirmation
of retrofire.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Standing by for contact.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Ironman One, Ironman One,
this is Houston CapCom.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Do you read?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Punky Brewster's dad,
the early years.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Ironman One,
Ironman One.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}This is Houston.
CapCom, do you read?
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Crummy Madonna
microphones.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}After five months
in orbit,
{\a1\pos(180,124)}a mission
that has been termed
a successful prelude
{\a1\pos(180,96)}to the long-term
space voyages
{\a1\pos(180,96)}that someday will be
normal and routine.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}So how come forehead here
gets all the dialogue?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Astronauts Jim Pruett,
Buzz Lloyd and Clayton Stone
{\a1\pos(180,124)}should be on
their fiery way home
to the good Earth.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Ah, don't say fiery.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Ironman One, Ironman One.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}This is Houston CapCom.
Do you read?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come on, answer
so I can make happy hour.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Ironman One,
Ironman One.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}This is Houston CapCom.
Do you read?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Ironman One,
Ironman One.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- It's monkey bars.
- Hmm.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now come along with us
{\a1\pos(96,460)}as we take a visual tour
of the radio signal.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}You see, radio
is an electric impulse
that travels through--
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( high pitched beeping )
- What? What? What? What?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Ironman One,
Ironman One.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's okay.
- Are they calling us?
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Go ahead, Houston.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Hey, you old bum,
how's the run?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}We have negative retrofire.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, we finally got
a plot point, guys.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Whoo!
- Say again, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Negative. No burn.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Bailey, kill it.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- Ironman, wait one.
- What's wrong, Dick?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What'd you call me?
- I don't know.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}E-COM, GNC,
how does the data look?
{\a1\pos(306,460)}It looks fabulous!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}A minute and seconds
past retrofire.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Ironman, Flight.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Would you check your
pilot circuit breakers
{\a1\pos(180,124)}and also your
Delta V thrust manual
A and B switches?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Roger.
- You getting any of this?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Glenn, would you
punch up channel six?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}And could you
punch me in the gut?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}All parameters are normal.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Uh-oh.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Why in the hell
doesn't it fire?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Houston, Ironman.
- Now they're in trouble.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Go, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Circuit breakers are
closed, SPS switch is on.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, here your script
changes, Mr. Peck.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Delta V manual A and B
switches are on.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Thank you, Ironman.
We're affirming
a new target.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Suggest you try
manual re-entry
on your next pass.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Roger. Understand.
Manual re-entry
{\a1\pos(264,96)}using
RCS backup system.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Negative, Jim. Negative.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Are you positive?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Suggest you use
the primary system.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}That is smart.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Gee, guess that's why
we're up here.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We just told them
the thing didn't work.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Houston, we prefer using
the backup thrusters.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Nope. No, no, no.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}I'm afraid
you don't have
any backup thrusters.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Say again?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I said, nice weather
we're having. ( laughs )
{\a1\pos(96,96)}What about the lab?
There's oxygen in the lab.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Houston, do we have
enough fuel
{\a1\pos(180,68)}to re-dock with the lab?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, here, say this
right there.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Negative, Ironman. Negative.
- Good, good.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Well, what do you
propose, Ted?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}You have
insufficient RCS fuel.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}You're going
to have to try retrofire
{\a1\pos(180,96)}with your primary
engine.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, it makes sense.
Everything's retro
these days.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Smart boys think
your automatic
control system is out,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}but you'll be able
to get ignition
{\a1\pos(180,96)}from your primary engine
on manual command.
{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now, remember, pump it first,
but don't flood it.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}In other words,
kick the box, Jimmy.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Do you copy, Ironman?
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Your jockstrap will double
as a floatation device.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Yeah, copy.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Mr. Keith, BAO.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Yeah, no announcement.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I think we should say
something, sir.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We've been off the air
now for almost--
{\a1\pos(12,124)}All right.
Just keep it trivial.
Keep it routine.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- We may not have a problem.
- Yes, sir.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}This is mission control
Houston.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}We're all gonna die!
{\a1\pos(348,96)}We received word
from Ironman One
{\a1\pos(285,96)}of a malfunctioning
switch
{\a1\pos(264,124)}that has
prevented retrofire
on their last orbit.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}They'll bypass
the switch...
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, high tech, my butt.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}They don't even have
touchtone phones. Oh.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}If I'm not mistaken,
that's Newt Gingrich.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- This is Canon in Houston.
- Yeah, Canon?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Well, unfreeze the dead,
will you?
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hold on a second.
- Huh?
{\a1\pos(138,96)}- Are you ready now?
- Go ahead.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Open wide.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}The primary engine did not
fire on the first pass.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}The secondary thrusters
are out. Repeat, out.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}The party
of the first part,
{\a1\pos(201,460)}who in this part
shall be known as the--
{\a1\pos(201,96)}If that big baby
doesn't fire this time,
{\a1\pos(180,68)}they're not coming back.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Motor, pitch two
and yaw two start, on.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Pitch two and yaw two
start, on.
{\a1\pos(54,96)}- One minute to burn.
- One minute to burn. Roger.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Translation hand
controller, neutral.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Neutral.
- Hand controller neutral.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Hand controller power,
both.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Career to off.
- On.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Direct RCS, on.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Direct RCS.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Delta V thrust,
A and B normal.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}You see that?
{\a1\pos(264,68)}A and B normal.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- That's a Yahtzee.
- 30 seconds to burn.
{\a1\pos(306,68)}30 seconds. Roger.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Hand controller's armed.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}You know it's neat
how they all have
{\a1\pos(201,460)}their own little tasks,
you know.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}That's so creative.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Hand controller's
are armed.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}EMS Delta V, auto.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Word up.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Delta V, auto.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}15 seconds to burn.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Roger, 15 seconds.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Acknowledge.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}All right, you bastard,
fire, fire, fire!
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Hey, whoa, easy, easy.
Get him something.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}10, 9, 8, 7, 6...
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Whoa, we better go, guys.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}4, 3, 2, 1, retrofire.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know,
the American space race
{\a1\pos(180,460)}has contributed
a whole lot more
{\a1\pos(96,460)}than just a lot of grainy
black and white photos
{\a1\pos(96,460)}to the great American way.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yes, science, technology,
and processed foods
{\a1\pos(12,460)}were advanced
beyond the reckoning
of our puny little minds.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It has been said
that one cannot swing
one's dead cat
{\a1\pos(180,460)}without hitting an item
that has been advanced
by the space program.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}We begin. The vitamin pill,
a space race advancement.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Frozen dough.
Thank you, NASA.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}The tie clip.
Keep it going now.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- The coffee table.
- Spats.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Chia technology.
- Tin whistles.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- The nylon windbreaker.
- Naugahyde.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Swirled yogurt,
essential for space flight.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Battered fish sticks.
- The collapsible top hat.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}The thing maker.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Helicopters, planes,
and ordinary table salt.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Scooby-doo
and Scrappy-doo.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Branford, Wynton,
and chicken Marsalis.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}The meatball--
100% space technology.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}The Styrofoam peanut,
the circus peanut,
{\a1\pos(222,460)}and the Woozle
whose name was Peanut.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- The bendy straw.
- Jim Mitchum.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- The Basset Hound.
- Scattergories.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Policewoman,"
the TV show.
{\a1\pos(474,460)}Margarine.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You see, the space race
has contributed
{\a1\pos(138,460)}so much to our lives
{\a1\pos(96,460)}that we really couldn't
even understand it all.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}All we know
is that it's friendly
{\a1\pos(138,460)}and it's good for us
{\a1\pos(180,460)}and we need it
really, really a lot.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}So open your hearts and
open your wallets and give.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Think about it, won't you?
Thank you.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Bikini waxing.
- White corpuscles.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}The Swedish steam cooker.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}What about mumbley-peg?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, Kate Bush.
- Beef pinwheels.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Polident?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ooooh...
- Ooooh...
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Strawberry cereal cubes.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, look, quisp and some
tenderloin in béarnaise sauce.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Breast implants.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Jim, why are we just lying
here waiting, huh?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}For Ground to analyze
the entire telemetry.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}So some smart-ass engineer
{\a1\pos(96,96)}can tell us
we're out of luck?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}"So some smart-ass engineer
{\a1\pos(285,460)}can tell us
we're out of luck?"
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Why not go EVA? We'll
check the engine ourselves.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Maybe one of the fuel valves
is frozen.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, come on, get real.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}No, Ground
could tell that.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Maybe we took
a meteor strike.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Maybe something hung up
on separation.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Eew, this is
Bob's filth.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Just relax. Eat your
chicken while it's hot.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Wait a minute.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}What are you
looking at, Stoney?
{\a1\pos(306,460)}The smog coming in
over L.A.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}It'll burn off
by noon.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}That disturbance in the inner
tropical conversion zone.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Somebody's gonna have
a hurricane.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Subplot. Subplot.
- Subplot. Subplot.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Subplot. Subplot.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Oh, it's just
northeast of Cuba.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}They call it Mariah.
Uranus test, I believe.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Yeah, nice thick clouds.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Good east-west slope.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Cyclonic circulation
just beginning.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Yeah, she's
gonna be a big beast.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, don't tease me.
You're making me hot.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Alma. First of the season.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, baby.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Just eat the chicken.
Don't play with your food!
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Now you're bugging me.
Open it!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Would you just eat
your chicken, please!
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Houston, this is Simulator.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}We have on the stand
SPS engine,
{\a1\pos(138,96)}unit H37,
modified block four.
{\a1\pos(117,96)}This unit is an exact
one-to-one duplicate
{\a1\pos(96,96)}of the primary equipment
in Ironman One.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Uh, this call
for any of you guys?
{\a1\pos(54,96)}And we're attempting
to construct a configuration
{\a1\pos(96,96)}which will reproduce
the conditions
{\a1\pos(96,68)}that prevented ignition.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}David Doyle,
the early years.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}3, 2, 1...
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Thunderbirds are go!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I say, apparently
we have failed
{\a1\pos(138,68)}to prevent ignition,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}but we'll keep
working on it.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I'll say.
- Fire him.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I will be back
in "MacKenna's Gold."
{\a1\pos(96,460)}( hum theme from
"MacKenna's Gold )
{\a1\pos(96,96)}The President's waiting
for our recommendations.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}One, a statement
to be issued
{\a1\pos(180,96)}at the conclusion
of this meeting:
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Every effort
is being made
{\a1\pos(180,68)}to discover and correct
{\a1\pos(180,96)}the spacecraft
malfunction...
{\a1\pos(285,460)}There's a guy named
Earl working on it.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}With contingency plans
designed to meet
such emergencies.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Boy, I hate my job.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Two, a report to be
issued Tuesday morning
{\a1\pos(180,96)}by the director
of manned space flight,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}emphasizing the high
degree of safety...
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I could really go
for a scotch.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}In the program thus far.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}The accident
will be compared
{\a1\pos(180,96)}to the failure of an
experimental aircraft.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Nice. Good analogy.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}We noted that
in the development
of such aircraft,
{\a1\pos(180,68)}a 10% pilot loss...
{\a1\pos(96,460)}How come he gets to sit
in the big chair?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Now, Wednesday morning,
if necessary...
{\a1\pos(348,460)}3 AM.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}The President will issue
an appropriate message...
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Then he'll vomit on
some Japanese people.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Emphasizing the courage...
- Yeah, I did.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}And determination
of the crew.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}♪ The Minnow
would be lost ♪
{\a1\pos(180,68)}And their final wish,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}that the program be
continued without pause.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh, nuts, now
I've lost my place.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Discussion?
{\a1\pos(453,460)}( hiccups )
Excuse me.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Yeah, I have something.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yes, you hurt me earlier.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I want to talk about
a rescue mission.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}In my underwear.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}I'm speaking
for the pilots and some
of the Air Force boys.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}For the laughter, for
the love, for the boys.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We propose launching
a rescue craft
{\a1\pos(180,96)}using one of their
boosters.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}He is plucky.
He is.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Dougherty, you haven't
been listening.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Courtney, will you repeat
that trend data
{\a1\pos(96,96)}on oxygen consumption
in the spacecraft?
{\a1\pos(180,124)}As of now,
they're going to live
another 42 hours,
{\a1\pos(180,68)}plus or minus 2%.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Oh, man,
am I hung over.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Now, that takes us up
to 10:30 Monday night.
{\a1\pos(96,124)}There's a launch
window for a shot
at 8:48 Monday night.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I don't wanna. No.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}An Air Force Titan
3C corp
{\a1\pos(180,96)}left Denver for the Cape
one hour ago.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Oh, actually, it was
already in the pipe.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}And also the XRV lifting
body from Edwards.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Can you get
the Titan and an XRV
{\a1\pos(180,96)}on the pad, ready to go,
in 42 hours?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Some of our boys
think they could.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}A non-man-rated booster
{\a1\pos(96,96)}and a craft
that's never flown.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Oh, it'll fly all right,
{\a1\pos(12,96)}and Dougherty here has
all the qualifications.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}No, no, no, no.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Proposal is rejected.
Anything else?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, we could have
a fundraising carnival.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Yeah, what do I tell
the pilots?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Tell them that the request
{\a1\pos(138,96)}is outside the area
of their competence.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, you mean
they're too dumb?
{\a1\pos(285,96)}We've got three men
up there dying.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}They're professionals.
If they were here now,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}they'd say take
what you've learned
{\a1\pos(96,96)}and get on with
the next mission.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I don't give a damn
about the next mission!
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Dougherty, there's no room
in this program
{\a1\pos(96,68)}for a chief astronaut
{\a1\pos(96,96)}who cannot look
at the whole picture.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Then fire me.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sober up and then
we'll talk about it.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}You want to launch
a rescue mission
{\a1\pos(96,68)}in 42 hours. All right.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}So they can't
get back to Earth.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Is that
what they're saying?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Stage one, stage two
and trans stage.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}How long, Colonel,
on past performance?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}On past performance,
12 days, but if we were--
{\a1\pos(264,68)}12 days.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Two, build up and strap on
solid fuel stacks.
{\a1\pos(201,68)}Four days, but we can--
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Four days.
- Third base.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Check out launch weather
for Monday night.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}There's a hurricane
out there.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}600 miles off the coast
and headed out to sea.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Well, you're in luck.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Three, make the vehicle
to the bird
{\a1\pos(96,96)}and check out configuration.
How long, Colonel?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Duh, I left my notes
at home.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Sorry, so much.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Couldn't do it
under five days.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Four, compute navigation
and guidance tapes
{\a1\pos(180,96)}for first
apogee rendezvous.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}10 days.
Program computers.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}So what's
your point?
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Three weeks.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We'll go without a computer.
We'll go without a checkup.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}And crew training
in a craft
{\a1\pos(180,96)}which has not been
man-rated,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}which cannot be flown
by one pilot
{\a1\pos(180,124)}and which has not
been modified
to hold four men.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Hey, wake up.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}How about that one?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Scorched you, huh?
Face.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}We'll do it in 42 hours.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Or my name isn't
Harry O., U.S. Treasury!
{\a1\pos(96,96)}While you're assembling
your rescue ship in 42 hours
{\a1\pos(96,96)}and spending--well, how much
would that cost, Fisher?
{\a1\pos(222,68)}50 million.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- So what?
- Plus how many deaths?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Three, sir. Maybe.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}In a program
of this magnitude,
{\a1\pos(12,96)}in which all nominal safety
factors are disregarded,
{\a1\pos(12,96)}I calculate .02%
of the workforce will--
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Just how in the hell
do you know how many
people are gonna die?
{\a1\pos(96,124)}You think we haven't
considered rescue?
Here it is.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Rescue and every other
contingency.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Here it is.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Reduced to digitals
and computerized.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}There's Bill Shatner's
report, right here.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}You helped to write it.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}A rational approach.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Well, screw your
rational approach.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yeah, well, bite me,
Harry O.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Three of your pilots
are in trouble,
{\a1\pos(12,124)}and if you don't
try to get them down,
well, goddamn you!
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Whoa!
{\a1\pos(264,460)}You got me.
That was fair.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Well, you have feelings.
Good. I have feelings.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}That's why
we live by the rules.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Ape law.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wheeler.
- Woolsey.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Courtney. Fisher.
- Price.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Klein. Degrote.
- Calvin.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}We've got a bingo.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Those men up there
are your friends.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Can you launch a rescue
mission in 42 hours?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You bet we can.
We'll get a barn
and I'll paint the sets.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}We'll put on a rescue mission
that'll take it us
straight to Broadway!
{\a1\pos(180,68)}( buzzer )
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Time's up.
How much did you risk?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}All of it? I'm sorry.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's Commissioner Gordon.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Yeah, we're ready
at this end.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Uh-huh.
- Very good.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}The girls are here.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}The President
will take the call
at 7:00 his time.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Ironman One,
this is Houston Flight.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Go, Houston.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We're coming up
to get you, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- We've called AAA.
- Say again?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}We're coming up
to get you.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's what
I thought he said.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We're launching a rescue
mission from the Cape.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, it's helmet day
at NASA.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}David Janssen wishes
it was beer day.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Modified to hold four men.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Now, there are men
without hats.
{\a1\pos(600,460)}Oh.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Do you read, Ironman?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Yeah, we read you.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yeah, whatever.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Houston, when do you
estimate launch?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Just over 40 hours,
Stoney.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}40 hours?
Who are they kidding?
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Do you read, Ironman?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}No, but I read "Final Exit,"
and it's gonna come in handy.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We've decided to make
a move up here.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Go EVA and eyeball
the engines.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}The fuel valves
could be frozen.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We'll pull
the insulating hatches.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}If they are,
when we get in the sun,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}we'll try and get
some heat on 'em.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}That's an interesting
thought, Ironman,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}but we have no indication
of that here
{\a1\pos(96,96)}or anything else
you could correct.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We're all agreed
the rescue mission is it.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Well, we're
all agreed here
{\a1\pos(180,96)}that we have to take
some affirmative action
{\a1\pos(180,68)}to repair our vehicle.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, we're gonna hire
some women and minorities.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Ironman, standby one.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Tell them negative,
Jimmy, negative.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Always with
the negative waves.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Jim, we appreciate
your desire to take
affirmative action
{\a1\pos(201,96)}and we need your
affirmative action
{\a1\pos(180,96)}if the mission
is to succeed.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}But shut up!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}The most critical factor
is your oxygen supply.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}You get 15 minutes
of activity outside
the spacecraft
{\a1\pos(180,68)}to eyeball the engine,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}you're going to have
to trade off
{\a1\pos(180,96)}three or four hours
of passive breathing.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hmm.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}From where we sit,
you don't have
that oxygen to spare.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, what's your Malibu
Barbie watch say there?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Therefore,
we'd like to suggest
{\a1\pos(180,96)}that you go
into low-tide mode,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}lower your
oxygen pressure to 3.5,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}execute a full
emergency power down
{\a1\pos(180,68)}and take your pills.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hey!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}They want us to buy it
while we're sleeping.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}We got Judy Garland
on the line.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}She'll be advising you
on the pill thing.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Do you copy, Ironman?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- What? Oh.
- Yeah.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}We're thinking about it.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Not!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Tell them negative, Jim,
negative.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Pruett.
- Is this thing on?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Now this is Keith.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I'm down here at
the Cape with Sadler.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm doing karaoke.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}And we're getting this
rescue shot ready to go.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Now, don't do
anything foolish.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Don't climb into
your hard suits.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Don't get out your tools and
don't try to fix the engine.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Don't sleep in
the subways, baby.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Just take your pills
and go to sleep.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}And don't eat
refrozen ice cream
{\a1\pos(285,460)}and don't mix
household cleaners.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We've got a better chance
than you do, Jim.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( all laugh )
- We'll be back at you.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Buzz, you eat up
25% more oxygen
{\a1\pos(12,96)}every time
you lose your cool.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}What's a four letter word
for fiery death?
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Houston, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Please pull ahead
to the first window.
{\a1\pos(54,96)}- Preparing for power down.
- Roger, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hmm.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}What are the numbers,
Stoney?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Cleveland 8,
Cincinnati 4. Uh-oh.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Well, with nominal
oxygen usage,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}that'll make it
36 hours left.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Uh-huh.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Take out the pad,
40 hours, more or less.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've got sleep apnea,
so I won't use up much.
{\a1\pos(264,124)}How you figuring
the residual amounts
in the tanks?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}( laughs )
How would you?
{\a1\pos(453,460)}Gene! Gene!
{\a1\pos(348,460)}He just
doesn't care.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Yeah, you'd have to breathe
them dry to find out.
{\a1\pos(369,96)}No one's
ever done that.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Well, I got the feeling
we just may be the first.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, look, they're doing
the Hindu rope trick.
{\a1\pos(516,460)}Whoo.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}( sirens )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}From "Marooned"
to Gator McKlusky.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(264,460)}We now return
to "Cannonball Run."
{\a1\pos(306,460)}( all humming )
{\a1\pos(306,460)}So I guess
the point here is,
{\a1\pos(222,460)}that these people
are driving somewhere.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Mm-hmm.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Capra, Jr. said
they bought the crane,
{\a1\pos(96,460)}so they're gonna use it,
and here they go.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now, everybody remember,
{\a1\pos(117,460)}we're parking in the
turtle lot, the turtle lot.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Hell Fighters" with
John Wayne will return.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}( all humming )
{\a1\pos(264,460)}It's George Bush.
Check it out.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, look, they set up
a couple of wet bars.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's Bolt versus Blaze
in an all-out battle,
{\a1\pos(117,460)}tonight on
"American Gladiators!"
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Jump! Jump! Jump!
- Jump! Jump! Jump!
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Jump!
{\a1\pos(222,460)}This is Ground Control
to Major Tom.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You've really made the grade
{\a1\pos(117,460)}and the papers want to know
{\a1\pos(222,460)}whose shirts you wear.
Over.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Pull the GNN
circuit breakers and
the IMU heater breakers.
{\a1\pos(453,460)}You do it.
I'm bitter.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Shut down the attitude
control system.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, the attitude
control.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}SCS secured.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Shut down number two
and three fuel cells.
{\a1\pos(117,96)}We'll leave number one
on the line
{\a1\pos(117,96)}in case we have to
charge the batteries.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Check and see
if I unplugged
{\a1\pos(264,460)}the curling iron,
too, would you?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- What about the comm?
- No, we'll leave it on.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Flood lights off.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}You guys
are great to be with.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Can we stay up
and talk a while?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- EL off.
- Yel-low.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Buzz, the lower
equipment bays dark?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Well, the B lights
are off.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Good night, Mrs. Calabash,
wherever you are.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}And why isn't that off?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}It's my nightlight.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}I don't know why.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Gene, can I have
a drink of water?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Houston, Ironman,
we're cranked down.
{\a1\pos(474,68)}Copy, Jim.
{\a1\pos(264,124)}We'll check in
when you come over
the hill at Guaymas.
{\a1\pos(264,124)}We're gonna keep you
informed every step
of the way.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Every movie you make,
every step you take,
{\a1\pos(222,460)}we'll be watching you.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- In a while.
- Jim, this is Courtney.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Now, I want you to take
one tablet of Stryzene
after every meal.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Who wants gum?
- I do! I do!
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Complete the power down.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}You can drink as much
water as you want.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Now, every word, every
emotion costs oxygen,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}so the more relaxed
you are, the better.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}All right, you bums, take
your pills and go to sleep.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, jeez, he's drunk again.
{\a1\pos(432,96)}Hey! Hello,
big brother.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Hiya, Ted.
- Hiya, Stoney.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, where are you?
- I'm at Lucy's house.
{\a1\pos(12,124)}Well, I'm in Huntsville,
kludging up a simulator
to the XRV.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm at Space Camp
with Kate Capshaw.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}A simulator to the XRV.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I'm gonna do a little
brush up here
{\a1\pos(180,96)}before I take it
to the Cape.
{\a1\pos(138,68)}Well, this is a great time
{\a1\pos(96,96)}to start learning
how to fly it.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Listen, all you guys
gotta worry about
{\a1\pos(180,96)}is where you want me
to set you down
{\a1\pos(180,96)}after I make
the transfer.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Go on, pick your spot.
Edwards? Vegas?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}How about
the beach in Malibu?
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Why not?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}All right, take your
pills, go to sleep,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}and leave
the driving to us.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Good night.
I'm out of here!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I'll see you in 39 hours
and 16 minutes.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Not if we see you first.
( laughs )
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I love that one.
That's really good.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Tastes like fresh cherries.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I wonder what mine's
gonna taste like?
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Mmm. ( gulps )
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Gene, stop looking at it
and just eat it!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}What's he doing?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}He's crushing it into
his cleft on his chin.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}A mortar and pestle.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Time to go.
Shoes for industry.
{\a1\pos(159,460)}Shoes for the dead.
Shoes for industry.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hi, there. My name's
Joe Beats.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Say, what chance
does that--
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ironman One, Ironman One.
This is Houston.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Do you read me?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Roger that, Houston.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Coming in
on the wall-to-wall.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Roger that, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Advise you adjust
your attitude
{\a1\pos(12,460)}using happy hour
protocol 3-niner.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Roger that, 3-niner.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Houston, we're gonna
highball the Delta V
to modify attitude.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Roger, we have
cranked down on the IMU,
{\a1\pos(264,460)}you-are-me, tuck
and roll formation.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Roger, Corman,
advise you pull all
GNN circuit breakers,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}modify your ILM Skywalkers,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}and full retraction
of your Robin Lame
Chartbusters
{\a1\pos(12,460)}and hold on your power
and glory switches.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Roger on that
glory hold, sir.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hold, I read Gypsy, doctor.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Serious start up leak
in apathy thrusters.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Serious yaw,
pitch and kick
{\a1\pos(138,460)}with apathy flux and rate.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Roger. Stay calm, boys.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Shut down all SVS dissident
controls but number one.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Speaking of number one,
Stoney,
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I got too much Tang in me.
I got renal overflow.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Better send up that
john, Houston.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Looks like Hackman here
has screwed the pooch.
Over.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Roger that, pooch.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}We're cranked down
till 0-niner-fiver.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Check in when you come over
the hill at Cannery.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}That's Canary, Crow.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Right, boys,
so just take your pills
{\a1\pos(12,460)}and kiss
your apogee good-bye.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What?
- What? What are you--
{\a1\pos(12,460)}That's right,
this is Fugitive One.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}When you want
headache relief fast,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}two Bufferin
and a glass of scotch.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, no! Joel!
He's wrecking everything.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Crow, what are you doing?
- What are you doing there?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'm just trying
to spice it up.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}This here is The Fugitive
{\a1\pos(12,460)}looking for
the riverboat queen,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}hauling a load
of sailboat fuel
northbound on the nickel.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}You got a bear
in your ear and a--
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Crow! Crow, enough
with the CB lingo.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}The only reason we did
this is because you
do such a killer Peck.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}10-4, killer Peck.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}You got some
rusty load running east
out of Needletown.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Looking at
the flabby gas passer,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'll be 10-10
on the side of fries--
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Joel: Come on.
You're coming with me
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Crow: ♪ Riverboat queen,
coming in to Los Angeles ♪
{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Bringing in
a couple of keys ♪
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Open the pod bay door, Hal.
Whoa, movie sign!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}- ( alarm )
- Help me. I'm stuck. Oh!
{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ Don't touch my bag
if you please ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Crow ruined everything.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I hate it when
you leave me hanging
{\a1\pos(138,460)}in the middle
of skits like that.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}I should caution you.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}It's the beautiful
Breck girls.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}You're gonna notice
some degeneration.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Is that good?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}But it's important to show
them how confident you are.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}We understand, Dick.
{\a1\pos(222,68)}We won't let you down.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}You want us
to be confident?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}The more relaxed they are,
the less oxygen they use.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I know why we're here.
- You do?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}You're letting us
say good-bye.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Is that Lou Grant?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}No, no, no. Lee Grant.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Lee Press-On Grant.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Celia?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Lee, honey, that's a Fall
if ever I saw one.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Jiggle the antenna.
Put it on channel 3.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Put some tin--
There you go.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Hi, Celia.
- Hi, Frank.
{\a1\pos(369,68)}Celia?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh! Nothing, nothing!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Wasn't touching.
It's okay.
{\a1\pos(285,68)}Celia?
{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Celia?
- You're breaking my heart.
{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Celia?
- You're breaking my heart.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Celia, we're gonna talk to him
on the monitor up here.
{\a1\pos(432,68)}Okay.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}What are you
laughing at?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}You know, in those days,
you were required to smoke.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Honey, guess where
I'm calling from?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Celia.
{\a1\pos(222,68)}Well, here I am again.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Signed, sealed, delivered,
I'm yours.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}What are you wearing?
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Everybody's so nice.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Sometime.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I spoke
to your father today.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh-oh.
- And he says to say hello.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}And he says he's sorry
you're going to die--
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I mean--
- Shh.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}I bought some new shoes.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Shoes. Huh.
- They hurt.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's great.
What the heck does that
have to do with anything?
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I'm dying up here!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Kids?
- Fine, fine.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I lost the bill
to the insurance.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I thought I had it paid,
{\a1\pos(180,460)}and then just this
morning, I got a letter.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Huh, I'd find that
and pay it
if I were you.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Listen, babe, I just want
to tell you that I love you.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}What?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}I said I love you.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}In front of the guys?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I just wanted you
to know.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Mm-hmm, neat. Now, so
the house needs painting
{\a1\pos(12,460)}and I was wondering if
you'd like a nice eggshell
or maybe an enamel?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I just wanted
to make sure.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Stoner, come on,
you're hurting my legs.
Scooch over.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Is it very lonely
where you are?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Nah, not with these guys.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Stoney's rigging
a beer bong.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}No, I'm not.
Not for long.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We all have
great confidence.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}That your death will be
quick and painless. Oops.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Celia, if you have,
you know,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}any more problems
with the insurance
{\a1\pos(96,96)}or the house
or anything like that,
{\a1\pos(96,68)}you can talk to Dougherty.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He's a good guy.
- And he's alive.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}You can depend on him.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}I gave him a kiss
to give you
when he sees you.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Just how many kisses
did you give him?
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Just so when I see him,
I'll know.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Yeah, just what I need.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}( laughs )
You never can tell.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}( laughs )
A little tuned up, honey.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Uh-huh.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}So I like pudding.
{\a1\pos(117,68)}Well, I gotta go now.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- No, not yet.
- Where?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}No, I mean, I really
have to go now.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Celia, I, uh...
{\a1\pos(54,68)}I had a real good day today.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I made an ashtray.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}And, you know, when you
think about this, uh...
{\a1\pos(96,460)}And you will think about
this, please be kind.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I want you to remember
I had a real good day.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You're not giving me much
to work with, honey.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Jim...
{\a1\pos(222,460)}( gulping )
{\a1\pos(96,68)}We better cut it off now.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Will I see you in September
{\a1\pos(96,460)}or lose you
to a summer love?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Oh, there's
one more thing.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'm buying a--
well, I guess it can
wait until your dead--
{\a1\pos(285,460)}I mean down. Sorry.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}I lost five pounds
last week.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}I can't wait
till you see me.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}So? Big deal.
I'm weightless.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}That tickles, honey.
Don't do that.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'm too good,
in fact.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}You take care of yourself.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Take care.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}( sobbing )
{\a1\pos(306,460)}And you're healed,
honey.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Note to myself,
remember the monitor thing
when he comes home.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I'm gonna be doing
TV movies
{\a1\pos(138,460)}for the rest of my career.
( sobbing )
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Celia, how'd it go
with Dick?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Does he know about us?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Could you touch
my screen, too?
Come on, Celia.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Hiya, sport.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Hiya, kid.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}How are the mice?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, they're dead.
How's the rabbit?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}We're learning
something every day.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}You writing a big
dull book up there?
{\a1\pos(306,460)}No. I leave that
to James Michener.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Just a small, dull book.
How are you?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Gorgeous. And you?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I'm working on
a little project.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}I've developed an
experimental hypothesis
for you to proof out.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Have you?
Well, what is it?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}How long can you
hold your breath?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}( whispering )
I miss you like mad.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Grrr. Yum, yum,
yum, yum.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yeah, I love you,
too, honey.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Your paper
came out last week.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, you got a B-.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}Professor Stavel said it's
a brilliant presentation.
{\a1\pos(369,96)}It was the best
he's ever read.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}We're gonna make it,
Teresa.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- What?
- Huh?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}We're gonna make it back.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- What?
- Huh?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}We're going
to make it back.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, that's great.
Now about the insurance.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I was wondering
if I have to--
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Believe me.
- Yes.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}I'm mean it.
We're all coming back.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Back? Well...well...
could...when?
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Could you call
first?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Listen, Teresa, I--
{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's Teresa.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I want you
and the kids to--
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, wait, I've got
another call coming in.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Could you hold a minute? Uh.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Look, I have to go now.
{\a1\pos(138,68)}I'll be seeing you.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Stoney.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}I'll be seeing you.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- No, you hang up first.
- No, you hang up.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No, you hang up.
- No, you.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}I love you.
Remember that.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}What was
the middle part?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Remember that.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}We'll always have
Encino. Whatever.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, fudge,
he was my connection.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}( blubbering )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}This makes for great TV.
{\a1\pos(432,68)}Buzz?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Ah, what? Nothing.
I wasn't doing...just...
{\a1\pos(285,124)}General LeClair
called all the way
from Clark's Field.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}He asked me to dinner.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}I thought
that was so nice.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, and Jim Garner
called, too.
{\a1\pos(285,96)}They want to
give you something.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}A headstone.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}Look, hon, you don't
seem to understand.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}It's all falling apart
up here. You understand?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, that's nice, honey.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}I understand, Buzz.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}You see, I broke
the washing machine,
{\a1\pos(96,68)}and now I can't fix it.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}What is he, the Maytag
repairman all of a sudden?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}I understand
how you feel.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}I could fix it if they'd
give me the tools,
{\a1\pos(12,68)}but they won't.
{\a1\pos(306,96)}Listen, honey,
I wrote something.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's called
"The Reluctant Astronaut
Bites the Big One."
{\a1\pos(12,96)}- Do you want to hear it?
- What?
{\a1\pos(348,124)}The President,
the White House,
Washington D.C.
{\a1\pos(285,68)}Dear Mr. President,
{\a1\pos(306,96)}We just wanted
to let you know...
{\a1\pos(117,460)}She's making this up.
{\a1\pos(222,124)}How much we appreciate
the heroic actions
to save our husbands.
{\a1\pos(222,124)}We are grateful to you
and to everyone
in the nation.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}The team effort
of the past two days
{\a1\pos(222,96)}will be an inspiration
to us, our children...
{\a1\pos(180,460)}God, this is so
poorly written. Jeez.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Don't you understand?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}It's all falling apart
and they're blaming me
{\a1\pos(96,68)}and I don't feel very good.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Can I fix you a nice 7-Up
and soda crackers, dear?
{\a1\pos(537,68)}Buzz...
{\a1\pos(264,68)}I have to go now.
{\a1\pos(600,460)}Bye.
{\a1\pos(285,96)}I love you.
I'll see you later.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Bye, honey. Guy's
a five-pound fruitcake.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I gotta get out of here.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}The other husbands
were so strong
{\a1\pos(306,460)}and mine's
a tower of Jell-O,
{\a1\pos(222,460)}but he's good, though.
Hmm.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Sorry, everyone, sorry.
Oh, turn him off.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Buzz, can you give me
a reading
{\a1\pos(180,96)}on your partial pressure
of carbon dioxide?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( inhales ) Here.
- Thank you very much.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}I just gave you that!
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Turn it off!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Negative, Buzz.
- Turn it off!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Negative.
You gave me a PS--
{\a1\pos(348,68)}This is good TV.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}What's going on
down there?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Why don't you get us
out of here?
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Get a hold of him, Jim.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Get him away
from the controls!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Why don't you come up here
and get us out of here?
{\a1\pos(453,68)}Sedate him.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Put on some Dan Fogelberg.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Buzz? Come on.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Buzz.
- Oh, no.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}He thinks he's Shatner,
for crying out loud.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Now just get us out of here,
that's all! Come on!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Buzz off.
- I'll say.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}That's my man
up there.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You better have a woman's
lounge around here.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}I've got points
on this game.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}I can't believe
you bet on the Bears.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It is cold out there.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}T-minus 60 seconds
and counting.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}- Hold!
- Hold!
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I'm gonna do
what Greg does.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Shut her down.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Damn.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Tower crew to launch pad.
Move in, Tower.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}But for Vince Lombardi
and the Green Bay Packers,
{\a1\pos(180,460)}there would come
another day.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Gene? Gene, buddy,
chin up.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Hey.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, man.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Houston, Ironman,
do you read?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I can't read.
That's my secret shame.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Goldstone, this is Ironman.
Do you read?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Goldstone,
this is Kidney Stone,
gallstone niner.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I know you're there.
Stop screening your calls.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Guaymas, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Rubber ply,
this is Iron John.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Gene, what does your suit
smell like, buddy? ( laughs )
{\a1\pos(222,68)}Cape, this is Ironman.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Pruett?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm sorry, I thought Jim
was gonna get it
{\a1\pos(285,460)}and he thought
I was gonna get it.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I'm sorry. We had
to scrub the launch.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, hey, hey,
there's ladies present.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}These guys better
scrub the inside
of their suits.
{\a1\pos(285,68)}Yeah.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Yeah, I figured
it might be like that.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}We've been
watching the storm.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}We suggest you start
breathing in shifts.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}T-minus 60 seconds.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Now, listen, Jim,
we're still working
on that engine.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, you got the engine
down there?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}No wonder it doesn't work.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, great. Now
there's a bank robbery.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Oh, this bites,
Houston. Over.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Boss, I just...
{\a1\pos(96,68)}I wanted to tell you
{\a1\pos(96,96)}that you've done
a great job.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, up till now
at any rate.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}And, uh...
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, no hard feelings.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}The place looks great
and you look great
{\a1\pos(264,460)}and, well, you know.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I just want to say...
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ I'm so glad we had
this time together ♪
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Now you've done
a great job, really.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I'd like to be fed
to my dog.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}It's nobody's fault.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Good night now.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}GBI reports loss of signal.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Ascension will acquire
the spacecraft.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Shall we remote
you through?
{\a1\pos(516,68)}No.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Move in, white room.
Get the pilot out of there.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's Storming Norman.
Check it out.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Now get me Keith.
I want to speak to Keith.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Talk to me,
sweetcakes.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We've done everything
we possibly could.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}We cannot launch.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}But I'm telling you
to launch!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}You get this hay wagon
off the ground!
{\a1\pos(264,460)}No, no,
I can't hear you.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}I'm can't--
I'm leaving.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}La-la-la-la.
I do not hear you.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}La-la-la-la.
I do not hear you.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Okay. Stay
with the group.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}We promise you'll see
some stars this tour.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}In one of these buildings,
there may be a hurricane.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Look, there's
Gregory Peck.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wow, whoo!
- ( applauding )
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Here he comes.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}( humming theme to
"The Dick Van Dyke Show" )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}All right, shoot.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}But first,
a few bird calls.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}I have a brief statement.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}The launch
of the XRV rescue craft
{\a1\pos(96,96)}was scrubbed
at 8:47 Cape time.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}The pad was shut down
at T-minus 58 seconds.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Last call was at 1:45.
{\a1\pos(96,124)}When the wind velocity
in the launch area
rose to 48 knots.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}And tiny sandwiches
are being put back
in deep freeze.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Commander Pruett in
the Apollo Command Module
{\a1\pos(96,68)}has been informed.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}He wept openly
like a little baby.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}This...
{\a1\pos(516,460)}Is this.
{\a1\pos(117,96)}This was a very fine,
fine effort.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Looks good.
- Do you have any questions?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Mr. Keith,
you say that--
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Is there any way
I can look any dorkier?
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Does that mean you're
going to reschedule
at a later time?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}No, we have no plans.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Will there be any
future rescue attempts?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}We have no plans.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh, no, that guy
was in Rocket Club,
definitely.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Mr. Keith, you say
the men have been informed.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Who informed them?
{\a1\pos(264,68)}I did.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}What was their reaction?
{\a1\pos(369,460)}They liked it,
liked it a lot.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}Do you have
any other questions?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I have a quote
from Mr. Hackman.
He said, "Aah!"
{\a1\pos(180,96)}There's a general
assumption
{\a1\pos(180,124)}that the space program
will be brought
to a halt
{\a1\pos(180,96)}for an investigation
of the accident.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Check out Pee-Wee's
evil brother on the right.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Plus a general
examination
{\a1\pos(180,96)}of our purposes in space
and the morality
{\a1\pos(180,124)}of putting men
into space without
adequate--
{\a1\pos(96,68)}What's your question?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Why is Richard Speck
{\a1\pos(180,460)}looking over my shoulder
is my question?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Are the results you gained
worth the lives you lost?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}You're damn right they are!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}You wanna know what
they accomplished
{\a1\pos(12,96)}living up there in
a tin can for five months?
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, lots of stuff.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Because of men like these,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}we've taken the first step
off this little planet.
{\a1\pos(138,68)}The trip to the moon
{\a1\pos(96,96)}was just a walk
around the block.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}We're going to the stars.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Your little
small town pissant.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}To other worlds,
other civilizations.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Mr. Keith?
{\a1\pos(348,460)}I want this man
savagely beaten.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Men will be killed
in this effort,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}just as they're killed
in cars and airplanes,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}in bars and in bed.
What is it?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Are you sure you want
to say that?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- Look at the numbers.
- What about them?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}The numbers, Mr. Keith,
the numbers.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}What numbers?
Let me see.
{\a1\pos(390,68)}In God's name.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I just won lotto.
I quit! Whoo!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}( all shouting )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, these are some pics
that my kids drew.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Yeah, I hope
you like them.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Who cut out the ad?
I haven't even read
this yet.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}We have 90-knot winds.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}In the center or eye,
we have zero.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh, oh, Mr. Liddy?
Mr. Liddy?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}It's over the Cape.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}All I wish to hear
from each of you
{\a1\pos(96,68)}is yes or no, go or no go.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Uh, go.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}We have a launch window
{\a1\pos(180,96)}while the eye
is over the Cape.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}We affirm a launch window
at 22:31:06.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Can you launch your rocket
{\a1\pos(96,96)}through the eye
of the hurricane?
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yes, sir.
- If I felt like it.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Will the bird fly?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Well, it's been kicked
around by 80-knot winds.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- The data's a little--
- What's your judgment?
{\a1\pos(474,68)}It'll fly.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Carp?
- Yes, sir.
{\a1\pos(516,460)}Carp?
{\a1\pos(117,96)}Do we have 16 minutes
in the eye?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}No, sir, not 16.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Do we have 14?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Well, we've been trying
to get a prog chart--
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Come on, Carp,
yes or no!
{\a1\pos(96,68)}What's your judgment?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}I'll buy 14.
{\a1\pos(117,96)}Can we move the tower
back in 12 minutes?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}You give the order
and we'll do it.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Houston, Flight.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}That's your night
retainer, sir.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}Is the rescue craft
go for Port Charlie?
{\a1\pos(180,124)}We can have
Point Charlie, yes,
but from there on in,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}the pilot
will be on his own.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Rescue, can you rendezvous
{\a1\pos(96,96)}without an onboard
computer program?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}You just get me
in the ballpark.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}As long as it's not
in the Metrodome.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Then we are go for launch
at 22:31:06 local time.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Just deal with it,
Carp.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}22:31:06 local time.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Roger. 2-2-3-1-0-6
local time.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Give or take an hour.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}We'll recycle
to T-minus 30.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's Peter
Ueberroth there.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}When this is over, let's
find a quiet spot, huh?
{\a1\pos(222,96)}By 22:31:06,
the crew will be dead.
{\a1\pos(306,96)}There's not enough
oxygen left
{\a1\pos(306,96)}for three men
to live that long.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}What about two men?
{\a1\pos(432,460)}What about
six midgets?
{\a1\pos(222,96)}We plot total pressure
against total use.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Is there sufficient oxygen
for two men?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}What about two men
standing on each
others shoulders?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Or one?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}How about two small
dogs and a bat?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}A porcupine, perhaps?
{\a1\pos(201,68)}Two might just make it.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Two small dogs
it is then.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, someone left
the Cape out in the rain.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, yeah.
- I had to do it.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I do love
The Weather Channel.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}It's good.
It really is good.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now for this word
from Dial. ( laughs )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I did it again.
- Stop it, you.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sorry.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Gee, just trying to get
the BB in the bear's eye.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}I love these
pocket puzzles.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Almost, yeah.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}- Oh!
- Move back service tower.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}( wind blows )
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ We're out of the dark,
we're out of the woods ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ We're out of the night ♪
{\a1\pos(12,68)}This is launch control.
{\a1\pos(12,124)}We have just confirmed
that all spacecraft
systems are go
{\a1\pos(12,68)}at this time.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Launch director
is about to feed
{\a1\pos(12,96)}the final computer update
to the spacecraft.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Wow, check out all
the night crawlers!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}This is
an unbelievable scene.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}No wind.
Absolute silence.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Overhead, nothing but black
night and brilliant stars.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}He's talking into
a Fudgsicle.
{\a1\pos(12,124)}As the eye
of the Hurricane Alma
passes directly over us.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}You say the magic word
and you get a $100.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}There's an eerie hush
over everything here.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ All over the world ♪
{\a1\pos(180,68)}No rain, no wind.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}The lives of three men
{\a1\pos(12,96)}are measured by
their fading heartbeats
{\a1\pos(12,96)}and here on pad 41
at Cape Kennedy,
{\a1\pos(12,96)}we're right in the middle
of another heartbeat.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}It's a single moment
in the life of a great storm.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Vinyl seat covers
on the cameras.
How tacky.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}A reprieve, we hope,
for Pruett, Lloyd and Stone.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}The service tower is rolling
away from the launch pad.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}( gasps )
Somebody stop it!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}As soon as
it's 800 feet away,
{\a1\pos(12,96)}it'll be locked
into position,
{\a1\pos(12,96)}but they'll launch
before that happens.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}That tower is expendable,
{\a1\pos(12,68)}but the three men--
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Are slightly less
expendable than
that tower.
{\a1\pos(54,96)}Ironman One, Houston CapCom,
do you read?
{\a1\pos(54,96)}Ironman One, Houston CapCom,
do you read?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Hey, isn't the machine
supposed to kick in
after four rings?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Ironman One, this is Houston
Flight, do you read me?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}You want to trade seats
or something?
{\a1\pos(201,68)}Ironman, this is Keith.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}What the hell
do they want?
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Flint. Flint!
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Ugh, I'm up, I'm up.
What, what?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Hello, Jim, I want
to talk to you.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Yeah, what do you want?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}I have some
numbers for you.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}The eye of the hurricane
passed over the Cape
at 22:18,
{\a1\pos(138,96)}and we had a second window
at 22:31:06 Cape time.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Now, I want you to add
those numbers.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}I want to check out
the John Ritter
learning system.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We've successfully
launched the rescue craft
{\a1\pos(96,96)}through the eye,
do you understand?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}You have launched
the XRV?
{\a1\pos(54,96)}Yes, that's correct.
The XRV has completed staging.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}It's a Honda,
actually, a CRX.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's only a two-seater,
so one of you has to go.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Our transfer
will be at 23:28.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}That's 55 minutes
from now. Do you read?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Right, right. We'll
take a vote on it,
{\a1\pos(138,460)}but we're kind of getting
used to the idea of death.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I told Stoney I loved him.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Jim, how do you, uh...
{\a1\pos(180,96)}How do you evaluate
the oxygen situation?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}What oxygen? ( laughs )
I kid. I'm just a cut-up.
{\a1\pos(96,124)}Well, we have
whatever oxygen is left
in the spacecraft system.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}And then there's
whatever's in the air.
{\a1\pos(96,124)}Two bottles
of emergency oxygen on
board, five minutes each.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}That's 10 man-minutes.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}We can always squeeze
Stoner for a quart.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}My backpack and Lloyd's
and Stone's...
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Burp a little.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}But there's not much
oxygen left in them.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Well, you'll have to
save your backpacks
for the EVA transfer.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, I know that.
- Duh.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}55 minutes.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Stoney's shrooming.
Look at him.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}We'll be dead by then.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Well, that's how
I see it, too.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Looks like we solved
this problem. Thanks.
{\a1\pos(222,96)}Continue to use oxygen
at the present rate.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Well, we can't cut down.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Let's think about that.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Won't you?
Thank you.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}You want us to lower the
partial pressure again?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}No, we've examined that.
It won't work.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Should we all beat around
the bush a little more?
{\a1\pos(222,96)}Well, we're lying here
like corpses now.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}What else can we do?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'm glad
you brought that up.
Now you've got it.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}You must think.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Duh, one, duh, two.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}The guy in the middle,
he's the trouble-maker.
You know it.
{\a1\pos(348,96)}Yeah,
we're thinking.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}L-tay, only-stay,
m-scray.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Are we talking about
the same thing?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Are you talking to me?
{\a1\pos(516,68)}Yeah.
{\a1\pos(348,96)}Why don't you
talk it over?
{\a1\pos(285,96)}If you could
work out something,
{\a1\pos(348,96)}it would be
a great help.
{\a1\pos(348,96)}Yeah, we'll
talk it over.
{\a1\pos(222,68)}I must point out, Jim,
{\a1\pos(138,96)}that any effective action
must be taken immediately.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Look, don't tell me
what to do!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We've been taking your
goddamn orders
{\a1\pos(180,96)}and where the hell
are we?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}From now on, we're gonna
make all the decisions!
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Dirty anarchist.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Whatever we do,
you're out of it!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Oh, I appreciate
what you're saying, Jim,
{\a1\pos(180,68)}and I agree with you.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}You're exactly right.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}You are correct, sir.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}( clears throat )
Yeah, anything else?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yes, to two of you,
good luck.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}To one of you,
good-bye.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Would you please give me
{\a1\pos(180,96)}those launch numbers
again?
{\a1\pos(222,96)}Yes, that's launch
at 22:31:06 Cape time.
{\a1\pos(222,96)}Rendezvous
and transfer at 23:28.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}And breakfast
any ol' time.
{\a1\pos(537,68)}Thanks.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}For nothing.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}( laughs ) Wait till they
find out I'm joking.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}There's plenty of air
for everyone. ( laughs )
{\a1\pos(138,460)}You know, they say someday
these will be cordless.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Launch at 22:31:06.
Rendezvous 23:28.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's a pretty funny guy,
isn't he?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}55 minutes to go.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Counting commercials?
{\a1\pos(369,96)}Through the eye
of a hurricane.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Quit breathing so hard.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Jesus, 55 minutes.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, Stoney, you still
have that pillow?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Right. It'll be
pretty cold by then.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}You know, when you put
your mouth down here,
{\a1\pos(117,460)}you can make a funny noise.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}Well, one of us
is gonna have to go.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}I mean, uh...
{\a1\pos(222,460)}I just went.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}That's what we're talking
about, isn't it?
{\a1\pos(201,96)}One of us goes
and the other two stay?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, I think it should be
old Zeppelin lungs Hackman.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'll stay.
I want to be the one.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}You're closest
to the door.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I could move.
- What are we gonna do?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Should I stay
or should I go? ♪
{\a1\pos(12,96)}All right, let's
do it scientifically.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Two big guys throw
the little guy out, okay?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ( all laugh )
- That's a good idea.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Um, well--
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I wasn't joking, Gene.
Serves you right
for doing "Gypsy Moths."
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Well, we're gonna have
to talk about this.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}So what are we gonna do?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}We already told you.
Throw you out.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Think we're joking?
Are we amusing you?
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Do you think
we're clowns?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}I could do it by chance.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}I'll tear out
strips from a pad.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}One short, two long.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}The guy
with the short end goes.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Well, they could
flip a coin,
{\a1\pos(264,460)}but it would never
come down.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}They could play Yahtzee.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Play Yahtzee. Yeah.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Tear the little guy
in half.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Well, look, I don't want
to just lay here and die.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I want to shake the dirt
of this crumby capsule
{\a1\pos(306,460)}off my shoes
and see the world.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Two guys, three guys,
is that much difference?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}I say double the pills.
Put ourselves out.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Wait, are there five
all of a sudden?
Did I miss something?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Even when there's
no pressure,
{\a1\pos(12,96)}there's still oxygen
molecules floating around.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}You live for a while
{\a1\pos(12,96)}even when there's no
pressure in the gauges.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Yeah, my cousin
did it once.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}For God's sake,
it's less than 55 minutes!
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- You're dreaming, Stone.
- All right. Okay.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'll go.
- Good.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Wait, I'm locked in.
I can't. I'm sorry.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I'm the weakest. I'm
using up the most oxygen.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}I'll go. It's all right.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}All right, all right.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}It really isn't what you call
a win-win situation, is it?
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Uh-uh, uh-uh.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}All right,
get your helmets on.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}I'm going out
to fix the engine.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Are you kidding? You
can't fix that engine.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, who died and made you
President of the capsule?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}There.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I don't know why I let
them talk me out of it.
{\a1\pos(117,96)}I should've done this
two days ago.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Come on,
get your helmets on.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, look,
it's a big old '59 Caddy
{\a1\pos(33,460)}with a carbuncle on the back.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Anyone seen
my Grecian formula?
{\a1\pos(369,460)}I left it here,
a small bottle,
says "Greg."
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I think I'll play
a little Super Mario,
if you don't mind.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Okay. Don't everyone
talk at once.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, now, that was
a riveting scene, wasn't it?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( Crow whistle )
- Yeah.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Breathe deep
the gathering gloom.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Richard, unh-unh.
Don't touch that.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Unh-unh, no.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hey, that's
the yogurt machine.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Don't you dare
go out there.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I don't want you
out there.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, while
he's going out,
let's us go out, huh?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Mm, let's us go out.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Take a cue.
- Well said.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hey, there's lots
of oxygen out there.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, did you guys ever think
about what might happen
{\a1\pos(96,460)}if one of us would
have to leave the ship
{\a1\pos(180,460)}in order to save
the others?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Uh, nope.
- Not really, no.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Really?
Not in the least?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Can't say as I have,
Skipper.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, pretty cut and dried
if you think about it.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, come on,
you guys are saying
{\a1\pos(12,460)}that this film hasn't
touched you in the least?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Three men
marooned in space.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}You know, they're
addressing a problem
{\a1\pos(180,460)}that we someday
may have to face.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}And, you know, who can put
a value on human life?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I mean, who can decide
who lives and who dies?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I do, remember?
I called dibs.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Joel, I hate to be
the shriveled carrot
{\a1\pos(264,460)}under your
peach cobbler, but--
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, Joel, there really
isn't anything to talk about.
{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You're a human.
- You need oxygen to breathe.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}We don't.
We're robots.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Exceptionally cute
robots, I think.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yes, exactly.
Oh, and clever, too.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I was gonna say
irreverent and witty.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Droll, yet insightful.
- Oh, hardly different.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm already alone,
aren't I?
{\a1\pos(348,68)}He'll fix it.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh. Hey, guys.
You're a big help.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}He'll fix it.
{\a1\pos(12,124)}You son of a bitch.
You know what
he's doing up there.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}He's smoking.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Buzz, don't!
{\a1\pos(306,460)}He told me he was
out of cigarettes.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Jim! Get back in here.
Jim, don't do it!
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Okay, now where's the hood
on this goofy thing?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}You're going to rip
out the umbilicals.
{\a1\pos(222,68)}Jim, don't do it! Jim!
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Jim!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm hiding down here.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Jim, don't do it! Jim!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Jim, come back in here
and put your mittens on!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}No, Jim, don't.
Really, no, don't go.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Stoney? Stoney, give me
some line here. Stoney?
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Feed me, Jack,
feed me!
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, what do you know?
( laughs )
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Jim, quick,
throw us your Rolex!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}You know he's gonna
burst like a balloon.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}It's sad really.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Mm. If you
think about it.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Doggone it, Jim,
you got the keys!
{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'm melting...melting.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, he cubed it, man.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I don't think
I can watch this. No way.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Dying is easy.
Comedy is hard.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, so Richard Crenna
said that?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yep, think so.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Either that matte
painting goes or I do.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, he said that, too?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Wait, one last bit.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Like my Cagney?
You dirty rat...
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Luke! Lukey, dagnabbit!
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You get back
in this ship right now
before I tan your hide.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hey, you didn't sign
our yearbook.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, it's Matt Dillon
and Penny Marshall.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ I'd rather be a hammer
than a snail ♪
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Huh? Oh.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Yeah, he's dead.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Can we still
have dinner?
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Is that a no?
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Well, you think
about it.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Tonight, the music
of Laserium.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Uh, Carl would
like to see you.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Haunting, isn't it?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Alan Sheppard in
a well-received cameo.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, he must share an office
with Fred McMurray.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Major Healy here
will be right in.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Get out! Get out!
{\a1\pos(264,460)}The calls are coming
from inside NASA!
{\a1\pos(117,460)}If you have a husband
in space, press one.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}If you have a dead
husband in space,
press two.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Mrs. Pruett, I wanted
to talk to you.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I'm calling from
your credit union.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Your husband is dead.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}- And how are you?
- Way to let her down easy.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}It was an accident.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}We were playing
and, well, mommy said
I was too rough.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}He was trying to repair
the spacecraft.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}And he shot himself.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}So I was wondering
if you'd like to have
some dinner.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}You like Chinese?
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I know this place.
It's called The Crash Pad.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}So how are things
on your end?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Not so good, huh?
Well, my condolences.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'm sending you
a case of steaks.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Hello? Really?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Please, let a smile
be your umbrella.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I speak from the--
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yay! It's not us!
Whoo! Whoo!
{\a1\pos(432,460)}( whistles )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now we got some room.
Thought he'd never leave.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Scooch over.
{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Excuse me.
- I told you, Jim's not here.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}He had an accident.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Dave's not here, man.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Where's Stoney at?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}I'm here.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Stoney?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Dougherty's coming.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Man, they're really cutting
loose on that breathing thing
{\a1\pos(96,460)}now that that guy's gone.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yeah, they're breathing
for two now.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Stoney, tell Jim...
{\a1\pos(222,460)}I love him.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}To get us out of here.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Stop eating your oxygen,
damn you! Be still!
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- It's Chuck Heston.
- Sounded like him.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, look, the mothership.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}The funkadelic
mothership?
{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Range 76.8.
- Mm-hmm.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}And since when did NASA
paint anything red?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}I'm a little
under the line.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Rescue, Flight.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Janssen under the line?
Right.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Roger, attitude is go,
Delta V 63.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know, either that ship
is tiny or he's huge.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Roger, 3, 2, 1.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Oh, that helped.
Watch this.
{\a1\pos(537,68)}Oxygen.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Can't.
- Nope.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Can't. Gotta save it
for the transfer.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, not another bite
until we get to Grandma's.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I got a big scene coming up.
I need the oxygen.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh.
{\a1\pos(117,68)}Oh, you're not dying.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'm dying. Great.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}It takes a long time to die.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Ironman, this is Rescue.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Ironman, this is Rescue.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Read you.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Read you? I love you.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Turn on your
acquisition lights.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Say again?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Come on, Stoney, turn on
your acquisition lights.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Turn on
your love light!
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Roger.
- And leave it on.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Roger. Acquisition lights.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Boy, are those bright.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Pretty bright lights.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Okay, Stoney, I'm coming
right down the pipe.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I'll see you
in six minutes.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Wow, you thought of me,
man. All right.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Six minutes.
- Roger.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Buzz, six more minutes.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Phooey, phooey, phooey,
phooey, phooey on the ship.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Phooey on the ship
is what I say.
{\a1\pos(432,68)}Can't...
{\a1\pos(96,96)}You can, buddy.
You've got to!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, everybody, it's
the Stoney and Buzz show.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Think of something nice.
Think, uh...
{\a1\pos(96,460)}That Buzz has been
a raspberry seed in my
wisdom tooth long enough.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Think of the Earth, Buzz.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Look at the Earth, Buzz.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Look, can you tell
where we are?
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Over the dells?
{\a1\pos(432,68)}Stoney?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm right here, okay?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}All right, Buzz.
{\a1\pos(33,68)}All right.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}You can sit
next to the window.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}All right.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Time for that Flowbee
haircut. Come on.
{\a1\pos(306,68)}All of you.
{\a1\pos(348,96)}Okay, open wide.
Here comes papa.
{\a1\pos(306,68)}Oh.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}All right, Buzz,
you're on my air now.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh...oh, that's good.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, my God,
what the heck are they
doing up there?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Cabin air. There
must be some left.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, that's not half bad.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Smells fresh.
- Hmm.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, finally,
the cable guy's here.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Took him long enough.
- The Russian cable guy.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Huh?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ In our Easter bonnets ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ With all the red,
black around it ♪
{\a1\pos(264,68)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Who's laughing?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}I can't figure it out.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh, the other Gene
is laughing.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, Gene, I hooked you
into the nitrous.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I'm sorry.
- ( laughs )
{\a1\pos(96,68)}( rapid beeping )
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Come here, you.
Tuck in that shirt.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You look ridiculous with
the tails hanging out.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(390,460)}That's enough
for you, dude.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, roger. Dave, we
don't need you anymore.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}The Russians rescued
them. Thanks anyway.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Roger, Ted, you've got
their acq lights.
{\a1\pos(474,68)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Whoo-hoo, that's a good one.
That was number nine.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Whoo-hoo-hoo.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}I kill me.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Blow the hatch.
{\a1\pos(222,96)}Do not!
Do not blow the hatch!
{\a1\pos(222,460)}( laughs ) Bite me.
I'm blowing the hatch.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Whoo-hoo. Oh, look.
We're heating the outside now.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Damn them!
Damn them all to hell!
{\a1\pos(348,68)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(264,460)}All right, chuckles,
up you go. Come on.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ There's a bright
golden haze on the meadow ♪
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, is that Nancy Sinatra?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}No, that was Servo.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}The boots. He's
talking about the boots.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh. ( laughs ) Okay.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Never told you this before.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Gene's got nice legs,
doesn't he?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}All right,
where's the supernova?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Pull it over. Come on.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}He can't get
any closer, Buzz.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}If I was any closer,
I'd be behind you.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Whoa, I've been shooting
red and yellows all day.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'm so sleepy.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}There's the pitch.
{\a1\pos(285,68)}Come here, dumbsky.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, looks like
it's low and away.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's gonna be ball one.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oops, I don't got you.
I meant to do that.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, so sorry,
Mr. American Space Guy.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oops. Bye-bye.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, we lost
another one in the sun.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know, I thought
Walter was gonna really
do it this year,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}but, well, anyway,
it's a good time right now
{\a1\pos(180,460)}for an ice cold
Budweiser beer.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'm just gonna lie down
for a little catnap.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Just a little
winky dinky.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}( snoring )
{\a1\pos(264,460)}And now, ladies
and gentlemen,
{\a1\pos(264,460)}the mystery of the
astral levitation.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's got a nice
vacuum-sealed codpiece
on there.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I mean, look at that.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}I'll get you.
I'm not that drunk.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Had to stop off
at a package store.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Would have been here sooner,
but I hit all the lights.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I've got visual
on them now.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I'm gonna
break down to 10.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}They're about 50 feet apart.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}The Apollo hatch is open.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Can you see the crew?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'm gonna break down
and cry.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Negative.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I'm gonna go in
a little closer.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oop. I just
fried 'em. Sorry.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Low riders in the sky ♪
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Turn your blinker off.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Dude, pretty hot
spaceship.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Now there's a light flashing
from the Russian ship.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, you kids, get going.
Get a move on. Come on.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, Ivan, got any vodka
in there? I'm dying.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Some guy floating
about a 150 feet below me.
{\a1\pos(138,68)}I'm going after him.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}My guess would be it's
the guy you're looking for.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Neat. Major Matt Mason.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Sure wish I had me
one of those jetpacks.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Be a perfect sleeper,
be a perfect sleeper ♪
{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ Perfect sleeper
by Serta ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Shall we have it?
- Mm-hmm.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}No, no, made a mistake.
It's not him.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's somebody else.
I don't know who.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Never pick up hitchhikers.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Unh-uh.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}All right, come to me,
my sweet friend. Come on.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come to papa.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh, hi.
I feel like a dope.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Sorry you had to
come out all this way.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Eh, no problem.
I'm just gonna have
to take your appendix.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Don't mind me.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}My appendix?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, look, he's got a
super squirter in there.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, no, that's a little
baby nitrous thing there.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ooh. ( giggles )
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Gee, thanks,
I guess. Huh?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Well, then.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hey, hey, hey,
wait a minute.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I was just about to
become a star child.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}There's nothing
going on out here.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm going back in.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, hey, look, I found
another one out here.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}They're everywhere
and they're free. ( laughs )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I know it's kind of ugly.
Just get in.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I kind of live
out of my satellite.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}We'll get your head
all polished up.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Get a nice meal.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, hey,
look at that thing.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You can see the strings.
Fakey, fakey.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yeah, it's really fake.
And look, you can see
their backpacks, too.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah--huh?
- Oh, yeah.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Excuse me, sir.
Would you step out
of the vehicle please?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}May I see your license
and identification?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Mom, is that you?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}You know,
the ironic thing
is that in real life,
{\a1\pos(180,460)}James Franciscus died
{\a1\pos(306,460)}and Richard Crenna
was still alive.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}And he was "The Finder
of Lost Loves."
{\a1\pos(138,460)}No, that's Tony Franciosa.
Think about it.
{\a1\pos(621,460)}Oh.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Baby Jessica?
- Come in, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I feel like
some pineapple
upside down cake.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Okay, who am I now?
Mussolini, right?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yeah, thank you
very much. Thank you.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Uh-oh.
Stoner cubed it.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Ironman, this is Keith.
Come in.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, hey, hey,
he's touching him
in the space suit area.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Bad touch. Bad touch.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Hey, that's my wallet.
He's rolling me.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yeah, sometimes
I like to sit out here
{\a1\pos(264,460)}and just look at
the stars and think.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}I haven't had a single
good scene yet.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Please watch for me
in "MacKenna's Gold"
and the "Omen."
{\a1\pos(138,460)}( hums theme from
"MacKenna's Gold" )
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Ironman One, this is Keith.
Do you read me?
{\a1\pos(54,460)}You know, he even looks
like a Russian, doesn't he?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I smell a rat,
a big commie rat.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ooh, shh.
Just take a look.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Isn't he cute
when he's asleep?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hold on. He only takes
unleaded, Mr. Russia.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I would've done that,
but our hoses
are not compatible.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yeah, yeah.
{\a1\pos(474,460)}Huh?
( groans )
{\a1\pos(264,460)}"Longstreet."
I'm on "Longstreet."
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Packs, sit packs.
( groans )
{\a1\pos(306,460)}You know
I was skeptical,
{\a1\pos(264,460)}but I like you guys.
It's fun.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Ironman, do you read me?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Cape, this is Rescue.
I'm in the Apollo.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}The Russian
got some air to Stoney
{\a1\pos(180,96)}and I've transferred him
to my oxygen.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}His head looks like
a gumball machine.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Stupid guy's
stranded in space,
{\a1\pos(306,460)}head looks like
a gumball machine.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- And I've got Lloyd.
- ( cheering )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, we're getting color
TVs, everybody. Whoo-hoo!
{\a1\pos(264,460)}A wrap party
right after strike.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}They're really immature,
aren't they?
{\a1\pos(180,68)}( cheering )
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Thank you.
Don't touch me.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}I'm not really
a party person.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}( cheering )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Whoo!
- Look out. He's crazy.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Mama. Mama.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}We know. Sure.
Whatever you say.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yeah, right.
Uh-huh. Neat.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Riding the storm out ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}( imitates drums )
♪ Waiting for... ♪
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Prepare
for re-entry.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Roger. Prepare
for re-entry.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yeah, what a day.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah, Ralph,
I'm gonna take off.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}You guys lock up.
I've got my keys.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Well, got to go.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Got a date with
a very special widow.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Lee Grant,
a very lucky lady.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Thank you.
Thank you very much.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Gregory Peck,
ladies and gentlemen.
Gregory Peck.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Let's bring him out again.
How about it?
{\a1\pos(390,68)}10, 9, 8, 7...
{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ 'Cause they're technicians,
identical technicians ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- 4, 3, 2, 1.
- Pilot light.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Whoo!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Roasting.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Okay, Chuck.
- Good-bye.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Bye.
- I had a nice time.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}You know the Russians
based their spaceship
on Scrubbing Bubbles.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}They do all the work
so you don't have to.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Nanu, nanu. This is--
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, look,
it got all loggy
{\a1\pos(180,460)}and they left
the door open.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}This is Mork
calling Orson.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Mork calling Orson.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}That was a wonderful,
powerful ending.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I love this music.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Like a circle
in a spiral ♪
{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Like a wheel
within a wheel ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Never ending-- ♪ Whoa.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Play the video game.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Read the Bantam book.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Soundtrack available
on RSO Records,
{\a1\pos(222,460)}or hit the demo button
on any Casio keyboard.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I think it's time
to roll. Whoo.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'm John Palmer and this
is the "NBC Nightly News."
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Total fake out.
- Works every time.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, do you guys like
having fun with magic?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, sure,
we love having fun,
{\a1\pos(264,460)}and we like
to be with others.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}What we know
about others,
which isn't much,
{\a1\pos(264,460)}considering we've
spent our lives
{\a1\pos(264,460)}locked in space
with you.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now what about this
trick here, Le Pétomane?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I like dynamically
changing people's lives
{\a1\pos(12,460)}through humorous skits
and stories, Joel,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}and I'm not just saying
that to be a kiss-up.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Thanks, little-itty buddy.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Anyway, what we got here
is a trick
{\a1\pos(96,460)}that involves
these scale models
{\a1\pos(117,460)}of the control module.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Cool.
- And these little
{\a1\pos(117,460)}James Franciscus
action figures, okay?
{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Put that in there like that.
- Stoney.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Okay, now, what I'm gonna do
is take--find the--
{\a1\pos(33,460)}it's called find the
"Finder of Lost Loves," okay?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}And so I mix them here.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Joel, Joel,
I don't want to wreck
your routine here,
{\a1\pos(285,460)}but the "Finder
of Lost Loves"
was Tony Franciosa.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, where is the James
Franciscus action figure?
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, it's simple.
It's right there,
right where you put it.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'm afraid that's the Tony
Franciosa action figure.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Find the "Finder
of Lost Loves."
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I know, okay.
Okay, there it is.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hello, it was fun.
- I know.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay, okay,
which one--where's the--
{\a1\pos(12,460)}where's the James
Franciscus action figure?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}On the left.
Definitely on the left.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Okay.
- I'm not wearing
my underwear.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- No, I'm sorry.
- Oh.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}That's the Ben Gazzara
action figure.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's fun to be fooled.
Okay, finally.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Okay, I'll buy
Fruit Stripes gum.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Turn over
the middle one.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, I'm sorry,
that one contains
{\a1\pos(138,460)}the James Farentino
action figure,
{\a1\pos(138,460)}the Joseph Campanella
action figure,
{\a1\pos(96,460)}and the Burl Ives
action figure.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- The bald ones!
- Oh, my God!
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, stung again!
- Oh, stung again!
{\a1\pos(96,460)}All right, anyway,
{\a1\pos(54,460)}now let's do a few letters,
you guys, okay?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}This first one--
{\a1\pos(54,460)}put that up on still, sirs--
{\a1\pos(117,460)}from David St. Albins.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}He's from Albuquerque,
New Mexico.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Albu-quirky.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}"This is on camera
granted," he says.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}So that's good.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Anyway, it says,
"Move over, pink boys.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}There's a new gang
in town."
{\a1\pos(54,460)}And it's got us in clothes.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Nice drawing.
- Yeah, it's good.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}They never quite
capture you though,
do they?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- No. Well, he's close.
- It's not bad.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}And then this one.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Here's this little
photo collage they gave us.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, now, that's neat.
- And that's pretty good.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}And that comes from
Matthew Fisher, who's 14,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}and then Matthew Fiddler
his friend,
{\a1\pos(201,68)}who's also 15.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Matt and Matt.
- And he writes,
{\a1\pos(117,460)}"P.P.S.: Who designed
Crow and Tom Servo?"
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- That would be me.
- You did?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}"P.P.S.: My friend and I
{\a1\pos(96,460)}would like to see more
of Cambot on the show."
{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's impossible.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He's right over there.
- Buddy.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hi, Cambot. And finally,
{\a1\pos(54,460)}"P.P.P.S. where did you get
Mexican stoplight candy?"
{\a1\pos(96,460)}The answer to that
is Mexico.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mexico.
- That's right.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Oh, my goodness.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey!
- My ping pong balls!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}She's gagging. Quick!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Whoo-ooh-ooh.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}What do you think, sirs?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Ahh!
- Ahh!
{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ahh.
- Ahh.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Ahh.
- Ahh.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ahh.
- Ahh.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Push the button,
Frank.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah.
future ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Next Sunday A.D. ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ There was a guy
named Joel ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Not too different
from you or me ♪
{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ He worked
at Gizmonic Institute ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Just another face
in a red jumpsuit ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ He did a good job
cleaning up the place ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ But his bosses
didn't like him ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ So they shot him
into space ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ We'll send him
cheesy movies ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ The worst we can find ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ La-la-la ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ He'll have to sit
and watch them all ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ And we'll monitor
his mind ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Now keep in mind
Joel can't control ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Where the movies
begin or end ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ La-la-la ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Because he used
those special parts ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ To make
his robot friends ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Robot roll call.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Cambot.
- Tom Servo: Pan left.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Hi, girl!
{\a1\pos(180,68)}What a cool guy!
{\a1\pos(222,68)}Wisecracker!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ If you're wondering how
he eats and breathes ♪
{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ And other science facts ♪
{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ La-la-la ♪
{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Then repeat to yourself,
it's just a show ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ I should really
just relax ♪
{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ For Mystery Science
Theater 3000 ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ladies and gentlemen,
we direct your attention
{\a1\pos(285,460)}under the spotlight
to the great
Crow-deenie!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Huzzah!
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Lord of unseen forces,
{\a1\pos(348,460)}robotic ruler
of the misty
underworld.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}And master
of escape.
{\a1\pos(537,460)}Yes!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Tonight,
in my most daring
{\a1\pos(12,460)}and death-defying
dance with doom,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I will escape from these
cruel and unforgiving
{\a1\pos(12,460)}and somehow pleasurable
chains. Oh, my.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Magic Voice:
Commercial sign
in 15 seconds.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now, Joel, come here
and light the cannon,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}point it
at my head.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Don't worry, folks,
he knows what he's doing.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}He's the great
Crow-deenie!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, I saw Telly
do this.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}And now--oh, uh, Joel,
can you get that key?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}The key is kind of
central to this piece.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, no.
- ( explosion )
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Whoa!
- Oh, wow.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Bet you're wondering how
I got out of that one?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's simple, really.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Chewed my head off
just as the cannon
was about to blow.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Neat, huh?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I think
I'm ready to headline.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Don't try this
at home, folks.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, the Great Scout
and Cathouse Thursday
are calling.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}In his latest memo,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Mr. Katzenberg said that
he would not tolerate--
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Frank!
- Aah.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Quit sitting around
reading "Variety"
{\a1\pos(369,460)}when you should
be working.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}But, boss,
check it out.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}"The Last Boy Scout" has
dropped out of the top five.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Many of us
in the industry
{\a1\pos(12,460)}have taken note
of its lackluster
domestic performance.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I mean, look,
if Bruce Willis' career
{\a1\pos(12,460)}continues its downward slide,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}it could be a setback to
the forces of evil everywhere.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're right, Frank.
This is cause for concern.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Remember
"The Return of Bruno"?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Ahh.
- Ahh.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Well, let's skate on
to this week's
invention exchange.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Get on with it,
Joel.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}First came
the instant camera.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Then came
the instant cash machine.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I say, do what I do.
Put them together.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}And now you can put
anybody's kisser
{\a1\pos(96,460)}on any U.S. currency.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Gypsy, say
"Richard Basehart."
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Richard Basehart.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}See? It's called
the Dollar-oid.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Check it out.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}And now we've got
a special presentation
{\a1\pos(96,460)}by Sir Crow T. Robot
and Dame Tom Servo
{\a1\pos(96,460)}on some of the merits
of the Dollar-oid.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}( clearing throats )
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Excuse me,
Mrs. Retail Lady person.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I would like--
- Yes?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I would like to purchase
one of your fine products
{\a1\pos(12,460)}using this $5.00 bill.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, sir, if I'm going
to take that $5.00 bill,
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm going to need some
proper identification.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}No problem. My picture's
right here on the bill,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}so you can cash my fiver
with a clear conscience.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- How was that?
- Oh, how convenient.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Now all I have
to do--
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Wait a minute.
Joel, get in here.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}What's going on?
You don't need
identification
{\a1\pos(369,460)}for cash money.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}This whole concept
is absurd.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Here's a little
hush money.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Don't tell your mother
I gave you this, all right?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hush money?
Wait, wait, this money
has my picture on it.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's totally worthless.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}You could never
use money like this.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}What is this,
some kind of joke?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Am I some kind of clown?
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Do I amuse you
in some fashion?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Why do you think, sirs?
- It's absurd if the--
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Your invention is absurd.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's ridiculous.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}It makes absolutely
no sense whatsoever.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I love it.
Keep up the good work.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh, shut up, Frank.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, Mariette Hartley,
{\a1\pos(180,460)}our invention exchange
this week
{\a1\pos(180,460)}deals with the concept
of facial tissue.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}We've come up with
tissue that has faces.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}That's right.
Think right-wing
columnist Pat Buchanan
{\a1\pos(12,460)}is no one to sneeze at?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, now you can.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Frank's chosen
the Kleenex line
{\a1\pos(285,460)}of Presidential
candidates for '92,
{\a1\pos(264,460)}while I've relied
on the "Star Search"
{\a1\pos(306,460)}comedy competition
runners-up series.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}For instance,
there's Sinbad.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ah...ah...
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Women be different
than men--Ah-choo!
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Or there's
Rick Ducommun.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I hate...ah-choo!
{\a1\pos(285,460)}And what collection
would be complete
{\a1\pos(180,460)}without 10-time winner
Geechy Guy?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I lost to a damn
ventriloquist! Ah-choo!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know, I'm having
a hard time sneezing
into this thing.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I mean, maybe Pat Buchanan
really is no one to sneeze at.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}He's even more evil
than Bruce Willis.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Some fresh pepper,
Frank?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah. Ah...ah...ah-choo!
Ah-choo! Ah-choo!
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, no! Frank's sneezes
are in Sensurround.
{\a1\pos(474,460)}Frank, no!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ah...ah...ah...oh.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Your experiment
this week, Joel,
{\a1\pos(306,460)}is called
"Space Travelers."
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's actually "Marooned"
{\a1\pos(180,460)}with the Film Ventures
International treatment.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}A new credit sequence,
in other words.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}And the presence
of Gregory Peck
or Gene Hackman
{\a1\pos(264,460)}does not diminish
the pain in any way.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Frank, push the bu--
No, Frank, no!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ah...oh.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ah-choo! Ah-choo!
Ah-choo!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Absolutely ridiculous.
You can see the whole--
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( alarm )
- We've got movie sign!
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hey, it's
the big blue marble
{\a1\pos(201,460)}brought to you
by the unpainted place.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, that's strange.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Produced by me,
Al Frankovich.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}That's good.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}We're in it now
up to our necks.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Or pecks.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, Richard Crenna.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Lukey from
"The Real McCoys."
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Dagnabbit, Lukey.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ah, the one-armed man
is chasing me.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}I need a drink.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, James Franciscus.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Wasn't he
in "The Finder
of Lost Loves?"
{\a1\pos(180,460)}No, no, that's
Tony Franciosa.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}This is star-studded,
isn't it?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Wow.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh, Gene Hackman.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}He's good in anything,
you guys, really.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, he's really good.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Call Space Travelers.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're able to book
any vacation.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Oh, I get it.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's a cable access
version of "Marooned."
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Mariette Hartley.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}She's got two navels,
you know.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I wonder
if she's gonna be
{\a1\pos(180,460)}in "Genesis Two:
The Next Generation."
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Oh.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Never been
in anything.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Vince, oh--
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Oh, it could
be worse.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Vince Van Patten
could've been in this.
{\a1\pos(33,432)}You know, when this was made,
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Vince was just a gleam
on his father's forehead.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Lyle Wheeler from the
production design team
{\a1\pos(432,460)}of Wheeler
and Woolsey.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, and Walter
"Big Train" Thompson.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Like father,
like son.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Think about it,
won't you?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Frightening,
isn't it?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Boy, I could go
for some Fapp-jacks
{\a1\pos(264,460)}drizzled with butter
right about now.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Mm-hmm.
Fapp-jacks.
{\a1\pos(453,460)}Mayo Simon.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Is he related to
Lillian Hellman?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Lillian Hellman
sandwich bread
{\a1\pos(222,460)}has alcohol and
cigarette butts in it.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Come to M.J. Frankovich's
for imported Polish sausages.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}John,
you've done better.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'll say.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}John Tesh
at the keyboards.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}( humming )
{\a1\pos(12,460)}So let the carnage begin.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Here at
Phillips Petroleum,
{\a1\pos(117,460)}we've found ways to replace
the environment.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Take, for example, these
plastic self-cleaning ducks.
{\a1\pos(474,460)}( quacks )
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Here are trees
being assembled,
{\a1\pos(201,460)}workers replace clouds.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Pressurize
all of the tanks
{\a1\pos(12,96)}in all three stages
with gaseous helium.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}As the pressurization
builds up,
{\a1\pos(12,68)}it's being monitored--
{\a1\pos(96,460)}This used to be a wetlands
preserve in North Dakota.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, we've shellacked it
{\a1\pos(96,460)}and covered it
with an acrylic polymer.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}You can take it
to the terminal count.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Roger, Flight,
we are go.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Okay. Let's check status
with the terminal count.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}You think this is
one of those CB movies
from the '70s?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Pigpen, this is
Rubber Duck.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm gonna put
the hammer down.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Quiet,
Ratchet Jaw.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Go, all the way.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Panel Three.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Tape recorder forward.
Switch to forward.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Verify gray bar.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Roger, we have--
- Wow is this cool!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Roger, automatic sequence.
Start on my mark.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Roger, make sure
you don't put it
in reverse.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}All right, Jim, stand by
your panel 325 function.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- Roger.
- Fuel 3 pressure initiated.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Roger, fuel. This one's
gonna light on your toes.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}PCS bypass on.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}You know, Mark and Roger
do a good job
{\a1\pos(306,460)}down at the plant.
Oh, yeah.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}They do
a super job.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}This is launch control.
The second stage--
{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's pre-pay
after dark, sir.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Lift the handle, sir.
Lift the handle.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Looks like they're
cutting out the nose-cone
to spite the rocket.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Loud and clear, Dick.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}All right.
CMP on panel 2.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Verify program 2.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}We're go, Flight.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}All right, guys,
why don't you solve
your little problems
{\a1\pos(222,460)}and light this candle?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, light the candle.
{\a1\pos(348,96)}All recorders
to flight speed.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Sounds like they can't get
their VCR programmed either.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}RTC, you got everybody
configured for commands?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}That's affirmative.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Internal power and go,
Flight.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, it's the three stooges
{\a1\pos(138,460)}from "It's a Mad, Mad,
Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World."
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Standby
for the 10 second count.
{\a1\pos(432,68)}Roger, Ted.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Okay, everybody
gone potty?
{\a1\pos(180,68)}10, 9, 8, 7,
{\a1\pos(96,68)}6, 5, 4, ignition.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Guess we know what's
coming, don't we?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}I meant to say clear
the launch pad. Sorry.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Watch out
for the back draft.
{\a1\pos(12,432)}Hey, and it takes off, too. Wow.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Wait, that's
the ST-Saturn-V.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}That's a level 5,
you know?
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Oh, yeah,
tumble recovery.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}( chanting )
{\a1\pos(138,460)}You know, this movie works
{\a1\pos(180,460)}because we care
about the characters.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yeah, I do.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Charles Rocket.
- D'oh!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know, $8 million film
{\a1\pos(96,460)}and they're still using
stock footage! Jeez.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}( imitating Kennedy)
Before this decade
is out,
{\a1\pos(390,460)}we will make
a boring movie
{\a1\pos(306,460)}called
"Space Travelers."
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, yes. Yes, yes.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Bye.
- Pretty.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hey, The Residents.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yep.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Booster okay?
- Go, Flight.
{\a1\pos(453,460)}Go, Flight.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Well, actually,
this is more like
{\a1\pos(180,460)}the level of the Mars
Snooper level three.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yeah, it takes 3 Ds.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah. Oh, you're thinking
of the Cherokee, dude.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}That had the trunk
cover recovery.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}Take it or leave it,
Flight. We're go.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oops, that was me.
Sorry.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, come on.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Seen it. Yeah.
- Seen it. Yeah. Taped it.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}A few times.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I thought I told you to
check that trailer hitch.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Three boys
in plastic bubbles.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Yeah, but look
at that acting.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Hackman
is always good.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mm-hmm.
- He's good.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Take it out of first,
will you?
{\a1\pos(201,460)}There you go.
Thank you.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Looks like Pac-Man.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}The tower
has jettisoned.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Trajectory and guidance
are a go.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Joel, what is the big deal?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's three men in space,
{\a1\pos(138,460)}wearing helmets
that afford them a certain
amount of protection.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, I think the point
they've established so far
{\a1\pos(180,460)}is that they're
going into space.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I think that's
probably established.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Maybe we'll need another
10 minutes or so
{\a1\pos(180,460)}to make it clear.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I've seen that, too.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I hope they
didn't need that.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yep.
- Spacecraft systems are go.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Spacecraft systems
are go.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}All spacecraft systems
are go.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}So are all
spacecraft systems go?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm getting that idea.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- We have CECO.
- Roger, CECO.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Seka, on the ship?
Buck-a-wow.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ Sitting
around the lake ♪
{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ Mountains come out
of the sky and-- ♪
{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Doom, doom ♪
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Say no to Yes.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, look, they're wearing
jockstraps on their heads.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ( all laugh )
- Goofy.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hey, check it out.
Space capsule's
got a red butt.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Whoo-hoo.
- Whoo-hoo.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Pop-o-matic
pops the dice.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}I am Iron Man.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, you can see Aaron
Spelling's house from here.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Well, he worked
for Aaron Spelling
{\a1\pos(201,460)}when he starred on
"Finder of Lost Loves."
{\a1\pos(138,460)}No, no, no, that was
Tony Franciosa.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Hey, looks like
a fine day down there.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hey-hey.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I can see all the way
from Gibraltar to Greece.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'm a highly trained
professional
{\a1\pos(264,460)}and it's still cool.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Should be our first sunset
in a couple of minutes.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Check it out. I'm giving
Houston the finger.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Loss of signal
with Canary.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}( applauding )
{\a1\pos(117,460)}You know, he's always
good, isn't he?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Activate
TV transmission.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}No TV till
you do your homework.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}We remote to Houston
through Araya, Buzz.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Araya One, this is Ironman.
How do you copy? Over.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}On a Xerox machine. You?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Araya, I read you
loud and clear. Copy.
{\a1\pos(138,68)}I read you the same.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}On my mark, TV transmission
from camera A.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Mark.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hey, it looks like
Value Vision.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're huge. Over.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}How are you getting this?
{\a1\pos(348,96)}A little snowy,
Ironman.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}A little snowy.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}There we go.
( mumbles )
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Eh, just a little
Harry O. of the dog
that bit me.
{\a1\pos(348,96)}Clear now.
Good picture.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Well, say something, Ted.
Are we beautiful?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Do you think we're sexy?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Ironman,
this is Houston.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm sorry, I was
watching "Gidget."
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Could you repeat
that last remark?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}This material was obtained
{\a1\pos(96,96)}during their first week
in space.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I'm presenting it
as a point of reference.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Here's Pruett.
- Exhibit A.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Lloyd.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Stone.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's a blast,
that dude. He's good.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We got this
day before yesterday.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now look at this idiot.
Poor bastard thinks
he's a spaceman.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(96,96)}It demonstrates
a serious decline
{\a1\pos(96,96)}in the ability to perform
even simple manual tasks.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Like grinding coffee,
as we see here.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Just over five months
of the mission
{\a1\pos(96,96)}have been completed
satisfactorily.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We wonder if it
remains desirable
{\a1\pos(12,96)}to continue
for the full seven months
{\a1\pos(138,68)}originally planned.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Look here. This
is where he wets them.
Sad, really.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, boy.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}What are your parameters,
Courtney?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, let's just say
I cover the waterfront.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}EKG, rate and rhythm.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}EEG, brain.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- E.G. Marshall.
- He's not sleeping.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}E.G. Marshall?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}The trend shows
definite fatigue.
{\a1\pos(348,96)}Is he still
losing weight?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Another Jenny Craig
success story!
{\a1\pos(180,124)}The quality of the
solar spectral film's
been very poor.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Well, you're not
gonna see any more.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Why not?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Gets pretty weird
after this.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Take a look at this.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}It'll make you sweat.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, boy.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Millions of dollars spent
on this space program
{\a1\pos(306,460)}and no one thought
of camera straps.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's the little things,
really.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}He's tired and he's
making mistakes.
{\a1\pos(264,124)}You wanna try
living in a tin can
for five months?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, I lived in an efficiency
in Manhattan, you know.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- What else?
- We got this yesterday.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}They're putting on
a production of "Our Town."
Sad, really.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Some further degradation
to our CS system.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We've lost a backup coolant
loop in the oil thruster.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Man, Hackman's
really good in this.
{\a1\pos(285,68)}Yeah.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}The washing machine is out.
{\a1\pos(12,124)}I was doing
some preventative
maintenance on it
{\a1\pos(12,96)}and I guess
I shorted it out.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}I also discovered
{\a1\pos(96,96)}some computation errors
in the telescope settings.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I guess that accounts
for the poor quality
{\a1\pos(96,96)}in the solar
spectral pictures.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What, what, what?
- I don't know.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, oh.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I broke some
other stuff, too.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I made this thing
out of clay.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I think it's a duck.
{\a1\pos(306,68)}I fixed the razor.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'll send you a bill
for that.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(180,96)}So we can go back
to shaving again now.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(390,460)}I resent that.
{\a1\pos(138,68)}I'm sleeping better.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}He's high.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I guess we're all
getting our second wind.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yeah, we can smell it
down here.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}If the hardware holds up,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I guess we can
make it right to the end.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}I know I can.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}I can.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}For headache pain,
they need Excedrin.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Bring them down.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Yes, sir.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Honey, the meeting's over.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}You were right. We're
gonna bring them down.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}You're always right.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}Get everyone on that
in mission control.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, you know,
Gene Hackman's even good
in this scene.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yeah, James Franciscus
even better in this
{\a1\pos(222,460)}than he was in
"Find Our Lost Loves."
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Crow, that was
Tony Franciosa!
{\a1\pos(600,460)}Ahh.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Music by Tangerine Dream.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sounds like Tomita.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I don't know,
it kind of sounds like
that Irish chanteuse Enya.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}No, it sounds like
the last chord
{\a1\pos(201,460)}in "A Day In the Life,"
only they slowed it
way down.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's a little like
Wendy Carlos, so...
{\a1\pos(201,96)}This is mission control
Houston.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}The crew of Ironman One
{\a1\pos(180,96)}has closed down the S-4B
space laboratory
{\a1\pos(180,96)}in which they have
worked, lived,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}slept and eaten for
the last five months.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's like a golf
tournament.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Their Apollo spacecraft
{\a1\pos(180,96)}has separated from the
lab and at this time,
{\a1\pos(180,124)}the automatic sequence
of retrofire
is about to begin.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}10, 9, 8...
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Call in now
with your pledge
{\a1\pos(264,460)}and you'll get
this great tote bag.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}4, 3, 2, 1.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Thanks,
frick and frack.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Retrofire.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}The spacecraft should be
starting its descent
{\a1\pos(180,124)}across Australia
towards the splash point
in the Pacific,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}some 400 miles south
of Midway Island.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Jeez, he's
patronizing, isn't he?
{\a1\pos(180,124)}We're waiting now
for confirmation
of retrofire.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Standing by for contact.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Ironman One, Ironman One,
this is Houston CapCom.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Do you read?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Punky Brewster's dad,
the early years.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Ironman One,
Ironman One.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}This is Houston.
CapCom, do you read?
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Crummy Madonna
microphones.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}After five months
in orbit,
{\a1\pos(180,124)}a mission
that has been termed
a successful prelude
{\a1\pos(180,96)}to the long-term
space voyages
{\a1\pos(180,96)}that someday will be
normal and routine.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}So how come forehead here
gets all the dialogue?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Astronauts Jim Pruett,
Buzz Lloyd and Clayton Stone
{\a1\pos(180,124)}should be on
their fiery way home
to the good Earth.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Ah, don't say fiery.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Ironman One, Ironman One.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}This is Houston CapCom.
Do you read?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come on, answer
so I can make happy hour.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Ironman One,
Ironman One.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}This is Houston CapCom.
Do you read?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Ironman One,
Ironman One.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- It's monkey bars.
- Hmm.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now come along with us
{\a1\pos(96,460)}as we take a visual tour
of the radio signal.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}You see, radio
is an electric impulse
that travels through--
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( high pitched beeping )
- What? What? What? What?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Ironman One,
Ironman One.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's okay.
- Are they calling us?
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Go ahead, Houston.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Hey, you old bum,
how's the run?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}We have negative retrofire.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, we finally got
a plot point, guys.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Whoo!
- Say again, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Negative. No burn.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Bailey, kill it.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- Ironman, wait one.
- What's wrong, Dick?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What'd you call me?
- I don't know.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}E-COM, GNC,
how does the data look?
{\a1\pos(306,460)}It looks fabulous!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}A minute and seconds
past retrofire.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Ironman, Flight.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Would you check your
pilot circuit breakers
{\a1\pos(180,124)}and also your
Delta V thrust manual
A and B switches?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Roger.
- You getting any of this?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Glenn, would you
punch up channel six?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}And could you
punch me in the gut?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}All parameters are normal.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Uh-oh.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Why in the hell
doesn't it fire?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Houston, Ironman.
- Now they're in trouble.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Go, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Circuit breakers are
closed, SPS switch is on.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, here your script
changes, Mr. Peck.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Delta V manual A and B
switches are on.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Thank you, Ironman.
We're affirming
a new target.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Suggest you try
manual re-entry
on your next pass.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Roger. Understand.
Manual re-entry
{\a1\pos(264,96)}using
RCS backup system.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Negative, Jim. Negative.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Are you positive?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Suggest you use
the primary system.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}That is smart.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Gee, guess that's why
we're up here.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We just told them
the thing didn't work.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Houston, we prefer using
the backup thrusters.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Nope. No, no, no.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}I'm afraid
you don't have
any backup thrusters.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Say again?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I said, nice weather
we're having. ( laughs )
{\a1\pos(96,96)}What about the lab?
There's oxygen in the lab.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Houston, do we have
enough fuel
{\a1\pos(180,68)}to re-dock with the lab?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, here, say this
right there.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Negative, Ironman. Negative.
- Good, good.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Well, what do you
propose, Ted?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}You have
insufficient RCS fuel.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}You're going
to have to try retrofire
{\a1\pos(180,96)}with your primary
engine.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, it makes sense.
Everything's retro
these days.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Smart boys think
your automatic
control system is out,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}but you'll be able
to get ignition
{\a1\pos(180,96)}from your primary engine
on manual command.
{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now, remember, pump it first,
but don't flood it.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}In other words,
kick the box, Jimmy.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Do you copy, Ironman?
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Your jockstrap will double
as a floatation device.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Yeah, copy.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Mr. Keith, BAO.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Yeah, no announcement.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I think we should say
something, sir.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We've been off the air
now for almost--
{\a1\pos(12,124)}All right.
Just keep it trivial.
Keep it routine.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- We may not have a problem.
- Yes, sir.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}This is mission control
Houston.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}We're all gonna die!
{\a1\pos(348,96)}We received word
from Ironman One
{\a1\pos(285,96)}of a malfunctioning
switch
{\a1\pos(264,124)}that has
prevented retrofire
on their last orbit.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}They'll bypass
the switch...
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, high tech, my butt.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}They don't even have
touchtone phones. Oh.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}If I'm not mistaken,
that's Newt Gingrich.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- This is Canon in Houston.
- Yeah, Canon?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Well, unfreeze the dead,
will you?
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hold on a second.
- Huh?
{\a1\pos(138,96)}- Are you ready now?
- Go ahead.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Open wide.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}The primary engine did not
fire on the first pass.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}The secondary thrusters
are out. Repeat, out.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}The party
of the first part,
{\a1\pos(201,460)}who in this part
shall be known as the--
{\a1\pos(201,96)}If that big baby
doesn't fire this time,
{\a1\pos(180,68)}they're not coming back.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Motor, pitch two
and yaw two start, on.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Pitch two and yaw two
start, on.
{\a1\pos(54,96)}- One minute to burn.
- One minute to burn. Roger.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Translation hand
controller, neutral.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Neutral.
- Hand controller neutral.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Hand controller power,
both.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Career to off.
- On.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Direct RCS, on.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Direct RCS.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Delta V thrust,
A and B normal.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}You see that?
{\a1\pos(264,68)}A and B normal.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- That's a Yahtzee.
- 30 seconds to burn.
{\a1\pos(306,68)}30 seconds. Roger.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Hand controller's armed.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}You know it's neat
how they all have
{\a1\pos(201,460)}their own little tasks,
you know.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}That's so creative.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Hand controller's
are armed.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}EMS Delta V, auto.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Word up.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Delta V, auto.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}15 seconds to burn.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Roger, 15 seconds.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Acknowledge.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}All right, you bastard,
fire, fire, fire!
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Hey, whoa, easy, easy.
Get him something.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}10, 9, 8, 7, 6...
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Whoa, we better go, guys.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}4, 3, 2, 1, retrofire.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know,
the American space race
{\a1\pos(180,460)}has contributed
a whole lot more
{\a1\pos(96,460)}than just a lot of grainy
black and white photos
{\a1\pos(96,460)}to the great American way.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yes, science, technology,
and processed foods
{\a1\pos(12,460)}were advanced
beyond the reckoning
of our puny little minds.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It has been said
that one cannot swing
one's dead cat
{\a1\pos(180,460)}without hitting an item
that has been advanced
by the space program.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}We begin. The vitamin pill,
a space race advancement.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Frozen dough.
Thank you, NASA.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}The tie clip.
Keep it going now.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- The coffee table.
- Spats.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Chia technology.
- Tin whistles.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- The nylon windbreaker.
- Naugahyde.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Swirled yogurt,
essential for space flight.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Battered fish sticks.
- The collapsible top hat.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}The thing maker.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Helicopters, planes,
and ordinary table salt.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Scooby-doo
and Scrappy-doo.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Branford, Wynton,
and chicken Marsalis.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}The meatball--
100% space technology.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}The Styrofoam peanut,
the circus peanut,
{\a1\pos(222,460)}and the Woozle
whose name was Peanut.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- The bendy straw.
- Jim Mitchum.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- The Basset Hound.
- Scattergories.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}"Policewoman,"
the TV show.
{\a1\pos(474,460)}Margarine.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You see, the space race
has contributed
{\a1\pos(138,460)}so much to our lives
{\a1\pos(96,460)}that we really couldn't
even understand it all.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}All we know
is that it's friendly
{\a1\pos(138,460)}and it's good for us
{\a1\pos(180,460)}and we need it
really, really a lot.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}So open your hearts and
open your wallets and give.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Think about it, won't you?
Thank you.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Bikini waxing.
- White corpuscles.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}The Swedish steam cooker.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}What about mumbley-peg?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, Kate Bush.
- Beef pinwheels.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Polident?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ooooh...
- Ooooh...
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Strawberry cereal cubes.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, look, quisp and some
tenderloin in béarnaise sauce.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Breast implants.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Jim, why are we just lying
here waiting, huh?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}For Ground to analyze
the entire telemetry.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}So some smart-ass engineer
{\a1\pos(96,96)}can tell us
we're out of luck?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}"So some smart-ass engineer
{\a1\pos(285,460)}can tell us
we're out of luck?"
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Why not go EVA? We'll
check the engine ourselves.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Maybe one of the fuel valves
is frozen.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, come on, get real.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}No, Ground
could tell that.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Maybe we took
a meteor strike.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Maybe something hung up
on separation.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Eew, this is
Bob's filth.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Just relax. Eat your
chicken while it's hot.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Wait a minute.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}What are you
looking at, Stoney?
{\a1\pos(306,460)}The smog coming in
over L.A.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}It'll burn off
by noon.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}That disturbance in the inner
tropical conversion zone.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Somebody's gonna have
a hurricane.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Subplot. Subplot.
- Subplot. Subplot.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Subplot. Subplot.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Oh, it's just
northeast of Cuba.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}They call it Mariah.
Uranus test, I believe.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Yeah, nice thick clouds.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Good east-west slope.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Cyclonic circulation
just beginning.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Yeah, she's
gonna be a big beast.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, don't tease me.
You're making me hot.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Alma. First of the season.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, baby.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Just eat the chicken.
Don't play with your food!
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Now you're bugging me.
Open it!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Would you just eat
your chicken, please!
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Houston, this is Simulator.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}We have on the stand
SPS engine,
{\a1\pos(138,96)}unit H37,
modified block four.
{\a1\pos(117,96)}This unit is an exact
one-to-one duplicate
{\a1\pos(96,96)}of the primary equipment
in Ironman One.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Uh, this call
for any of you guys?
{\a1\pos(54,96)}And we're attempting
to construct a configuration
{\a1\pos(96,96)}which will reproduce
the conditions
{\a1\pos(96,68)}that prevented ignition.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}David Doyle,
the early years.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}3, 2, 1...
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Thunderbirds are go!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I say, apparently
we have failed
{\a1\pos(138,68)}to prevent ignition,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}but we'll keep
working on it.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I'll say.
- Fire him.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I will be back
in "MacKenna's Gold."
{\a1\pos(96,460)}( hum theme from
"MacKenna's Gold )
{\a1\pos(96,96)}The President's waiting
for our recommendations.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}One, a statement
to be issued
{\a1\pos(180,96)}at the conclusion
of this meeting:
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Every effort
is being made
{\a1\pos(180,68)}to discover and correct
{\a1\pos(180,96)}the spacecraft
malfunction...
{\a1\pos(285,460)}There's a guy named
Earl working on it.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}With contingency plans
designed to meet
such emergencies.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Boy, I hate my job.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Two, a report to be
issued Tuesday morning
{\a1\pos(180,96)}by the director
of manned space flight,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}emphasizing the high
degree of safety...
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I could really go
for a scotch.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}In the program thus far.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}The accident
will be compared
{\a1\pos(180,96)}to the failure of an
experimental aircraft.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Nice. Good analogy.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}We noted that
in the development
of such aircraft,
{\a1\pos(180,68)}a 10% pilot loss...
{\a1\pos(96,460)}How come he gets to sit
in the big chair?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Now, Wednesday morning,
if necessary...
{\a1\pos(348,460)}3 AM.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}The President will issue
an appropriate message...
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Then he'll vomit on
some Japanese people.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Emphasizing the courage...
- Yeah, I did.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}And determination
of the crew.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}♪ The Minnow
would be lost ♪
{\a1\pos(180,68)}And their final wish,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}that the program be
continued without pause.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh, nuts, now
I've lost my place.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Discussion?
{\a1\pos(453,460)}( hiccups )
Excuse me.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Yeah, I have something.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yes, you hurt me earlier.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I want to talk about
a rescue mission.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}In my underwear.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}I'm speaking
for the pilots and some
of the Air Force boys.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}For the laughter, for
the love, for the boys.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We propose launching
a rescue craft
{\a1\pos(180,96)}using one of their
boosters.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}He is plucky.
He is.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Dougherty, you haven't
been listening.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Courtney, will you repeat
that trend data
{\a1\pos(96,96)}on oxygen consumption
in the spacecraft?
{\a1\pos(180,124)}As of now,
they're going to live
another 42 hours,
{\a1\pos(180,68)}plus or minus 2%.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Oh, man,
am I hung over.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Now, that takes us up
to 10:30 Monday night.
{\a1\pos(96,124)}There's a launch
window for a shot
at 8:48 Monday night.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I don't wanna. No.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}An Air Force Titan
3C corp
{\a1\pos(180,96)}left Denver for the Cape
one hour ago.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Oh, actually, it was
already in the pipe.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}And also the XRV lifting
body from Edwards.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Can you get
the Titan and an XRV
{\a1\pos(180,96)}on the pad, ready to go,
in 42 hours?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Some of our boys
think they could.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}A non-man-rated booster
{\a1\pos(96,96)}and a craft
that's never flown.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Oh, it'll fly all right,
{\a1\pos(12,96)}and Dougherty here has
all the qualifications.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}No, no, no, no.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Proposal is rejected.
Anything else?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, we could have
a fundraising carnival.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Yeah, what do I tell
the pilots?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Tell them that the request
{\a1\pos(138,96)}is outside the area
of their competence.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, you mean
they're too dumb?
{\a1\pos(285,96)}We've got three men
up there dying.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}They're professionals.
If they were here now,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}they'd say take
what you've learned
{\a1\pos(96,96)}and get on with
the next mission.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I don't give a damn
about the next mission!
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Dougherty, there's no room
in this program
{\a1\pos(96,68)}for a chief astronaut
{\a1\pos(96,96)}who cannot look
at the whole picture.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Then fire me.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sober up and then
we'll talk about it.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}You want to launch
a rescue mission
{\a1\pos(96,68)}in 42 hours. All right.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}So they can't
get back to Earth.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Is that
what they're saying?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Stage one, stage two
and trans stage.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}How long, Colonel,
on past performance?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}On past performance,
12 days, but if we were--
{\a1\pos(264,68)}12 days.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Two, build up and strap on
solid fuel stacks.
{\a1\pos(201,68)}Four days, but we can--
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Four days.
- Third base.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Check out launch weather
for Monday night.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}There's a hurricane
out there.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}600 miles off the coast
and headed out to sea.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Well, you're in luck.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Three, make the vehicle
to the bird
{\a1\pos(96,96)}and check out configuration.
How long, Colonel?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Duh, I left my notes
at home.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Sorry, so much.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Couldn't do it
under five days.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Four, compute navigation
and guidance tapes
{\a1\pos(180,96)}for first
apogee rendezvous.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}10 days.
Program computers.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}So what's
your point?
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Three weeks.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We'll go without a computer.
We'll go without a checkup.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}And crew training
in a craft
{\a1\pos(180,96)}which has not been
man-rated,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}which cannot be flown
by one pilot
{\a1\pos(180,124)}and which has not
been modified
to hold four men.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Hey, wake up.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}How about that one?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Scorched you, huh?
Face.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}We'll do it in 42 hours.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Or my name isn't
Harry O., U.S. Treasury!
{\a1\pos(96,96)}While you're assembling
your rescue ship in 42 hours
{\a1\pos(96,96)}and spending--well, how much
would that cost, Fisher?
{\a1\pos(222,68)}50 million.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- So what?
- Plus how many deaths?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Three, sir. Maybe.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}In a program
of this magnitude,
{\a1\pos(12,96)}in which all nominal safety
factors are disregarded,
{\a1\pos(12,96)}I calculate .02%
of the workforce will--
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Just how in the hell
do you know how many
people are gonna die?
{\a1\pos(96,124)}You think we haven't
considered rescue?
Here it is.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Rescue and every other
contingency.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Here it is.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Reduced to digitals
and computerized.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}There's Bill Shatner's
report, right here.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}You helped to write it.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}A rational approach.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Well, screw your
rational approach.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yeah, well, bite me,
Harry O.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Three of your pilots
are in trouble,
{\a1\pos(12,124)}and if you don't
try to get them down,
well, goddamn you!
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Whoa!
{\a1\pos(264,460)}You got me.
That was fair.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Well, you have feelings.
Good. I have feelings.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}That's why
we live by the rules.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Ape law.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wheeler.
- Woolsey.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Courtney. Fisher.
- Price.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Klein. Degrote.
- Calvin.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}We've got a bingo.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Those men up there
are your friends.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Can you launch a rescue
mission in 42 hours?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You bet we can.
We'll get a barn
and I'll paint the sets.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}We'll put on a rescue mission
that'll take it us
straight to Broadway!
{\a1\pos(180,68)}( buzzer )
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Time's up.
How much did you risk?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}All of it? I'm sorry.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's Commissioner Gordon.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Yeah, we're ready
at this end.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Uh-huh.
- Very good.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}The girls are here.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}The President
will take the call
at 7:00 his time.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Ironman One,
this is Houston Flight.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Go, Houston.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We're coming up
to get you, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- We've called AAA.
- Say again?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}We're coming up
to get you.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's what
I thought he said.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We're launching a rescue
mission from the Cape.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, it's helmet day
at NASA.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}David Janssen wishes
it was beer day.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Modified to hold four men.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Now, there are men
without hats.
{\a1\pos(600,460)}Oh.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Do you read, Ironman?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Yeah, we read you.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yeah, whatever.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Houston, when do you
estimate launch?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Just over 40 hours,
Stoney.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}40 hours?
Who are they kidding?
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Do you read, Ironman?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}No, but I read "Final Exit,"
and it's gonna come in handy.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We've decided to make
a move up here.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Go EVA and eyeball
the engines.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}The fuel valves
could be frozen.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We'll pull
the insulating hatches.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}If they are,
when we get in the sun,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}we'll try and get
some heat on 'em.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}That's an interesting
thought, Ironman,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}but we have no indication
of that here
{\a1\pos(96,96)}or anything else
you could correct.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We're all agreed
the rescue mission is it.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Well, we're
all agreed here
{\a1\pos(180,96)}that we have to take
some affirmative action
{\a1\pos(180,68)}to repair our vehicle.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, we're gonna hire
some women and minorities.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Ironman, standby one.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Tell them negative,
Jimmy, negative.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Always with
the negative waves.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Jim, we appreciate
your desire to take
affirmative action
{\a1\pos(201,96)}and we need your
affirmative action
{\a1\pos(180,96)}if the mission
is to succeed.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}But shut up!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}The most critical factor
is your oxygen supply.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}You get 15 minutes
of activity outside
the spacecraft
{\a1\pos(180,68)}to eyeball the engine,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}you're going to have
to trade off
{\a1\pos(180,96)}three or four hours
of passive breathing.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hmm.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}From where we sit,
you don't have
that oxygen to spare.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, what's your Malibu
Barbie watch say there?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Therefore,
we'd like to suggest
{\a1\pos(180,96)}that you go
into low-tide mode,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}lower your
oxygen pressure to 3.5,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}execute a full
emergency power down
{\a1\pos(180,68)}and take your pills.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hey!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}They want us to buy it
while we're sleeping.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}We got Judy Garland
on the line.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}She'll be advising you
on the pill thing.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Do you copy, Ironman?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- What? Oh.
- Yeah.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}We're thinking about it.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Not!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Tell them negative, Jim,
negative.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Pruett.
- Is this thing on?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Now this is Keith.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I'm down here at
the Cape with Sadler.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm doing karaoke.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}And we're getting this
rescue shot ready to go.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Now, don't do
anything foolish.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Don't climb into
your hard suits.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Don't get out your tools and
don't try to fix the engine.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Don't sleep in
the subways, baby.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Just take your pills
and go to sleep.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}And don't eat
refrozen ice cream
{\a1\pos(285,460)}and don't mix
household cleaners.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We've got a better chance
than you do, Jim.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( all laugh )
- We'll be back at you.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Buzz, you eat up
25% more oxygen
{\a1\pos(12,96)}every time
you lose your cool.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}What's a four letter word
for fiery death?
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Houston, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Please pull ahead
to the first window.
{\a1\pos(54,96)}- Preparing for power down.
- Roger, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hmm.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}What are the numbers,
Stoney?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Cleveland 8,
Cincinnati 4. Uh-oh.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Well, with nominal
oxygen usage,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}that'll make it
36 hours left.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Uh-huh.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Take out the pad,
40 hours, more or less.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've got sleep apnea,
so I won't use up much.
{\a1\pos(264,124)}How you figuring
the residual amounts
in the tanks?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}( laughs )
How would you?
{\a1\pos(453,460)}Gene! Gene!
{\a1\pos(348,460)}He just
doesn't care.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Yeah, you'd have to breathe
them dry to find out.
{\a1\pos(369,96)}No one's
ever done that.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Well, I got the feeling
we just may be the first.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, look, they're doing
the Hindu rope trick.
{\a1\pos(516,460)}Whoo.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}( sirens )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}From "Marooned"
to Gator McKlusky.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(264,460)}We now return
to "Cannonball Run."
{\a1\pos(306,460)}( all humming )
{\a1\pos(306,460)}So I guess
the point here is,
{\a1\pos(222,460)}that these people
are driving somewhere.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Mm-hmm.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Capra, Jr. said
they bought the crane,
{\a1\pos(96,460)}so they're gonna use it,
and here they go.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now, everybody remember,
{\a1\pos(117,460)}we're parking in the
turtle lot, the turtle lot.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Hell Fighters" with
John Wayne will return.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}( all humming )
{\a1\pos(264,460)}It's George Bush.
Check it out.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, look, they set up
a couple of wet bars.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's Bolt versus Blaze
in an all-out battle,
{\a1\pos(117,460)}tonight on
"American Gladiators!"
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Jump! Jump! Jump!
- Jump! Jump! Jump!
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Jump!
{\a1\pos(222,460)}This is Ground Control
to Major Tom.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You've really made the grade
{\a1\pos(117,460)}and the papers want to know
{\a1\pos(222,460)}whose shirts you wear.
Over.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Pull the GNN
circuit breakers and
the IMU heater breakers.
{\a1\pos(453,460)}You do it.
I'm bitter.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Shut down the attitude
control system.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, the attitude
control.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}SCS secured.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Shut down number two
and three fuel cells.
{\a1\pos(117,96)}We'll leave number one
on the line
{\a1\pos(117,96)}in case we have to
charge the batteries.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Check and see
if I unplugged
{\a1\pos(264,460)}the curling iron,
too, would you?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- What about the comm?
- No, we'll leave it on.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Flood lights off.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}You guys
are great to be with.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Can we stay up
and talk a while?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- EL off.
- Yel-low.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Buzz, the lower
equipment bays dark?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Well, the B lights
are off.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Good night, Mrs. Calabash,
wherever you are.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}And why isn't that off?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}It's my nightlight.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}I don't know why.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Gene, can I have
a drink of water?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Houston, Ironman,
we're cranked down.
{\a1\pos(474,68)}Copy, Jim.
{\a1\pos(264,124)}We'll check in
when you come over
the hill at Guaymas.
{\a1\pos(264,124)}We're gonna keep you
informed every step
of the way.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Every movie you make,
every step you take,
{\a1\pos(222,460)}we'll be watching you.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- In a while.
- Jim, this is Courtney.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Now, I want you to take
one tablet of Stryzene
after every meal.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Who wants gum?
- I do! I do!
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Complete the power down.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}You can drink as much
water as you want.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Now, every word, every
emotion costs oxygen,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}so the more relaxed
you are, the better.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}All right, you bums, take
your pills and go to sleep.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, jeez, he's drunk again.
{\a1\pos(432,96)}Hey! Hello,
big brother.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Hiya, Ted.
- Hiya, Stoney.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, where are you?
- I'm at Lucy's house.
{\a1\pos(12,124)}Well, I'm in Huntsville,
kludging up a simulator
to the XRV.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm at Space Camp
with Kate Capshaw.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}A simulator to the XRV.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I'm gonna do a little
brush up here
{\a1\pos(180,96)}before I take it
to the Cape.
{\a1\pos(138,68)}Well, this is a great time
{\a1\pos(96,96)}to start learning
how to fly it.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Listen, all you guys
gotta worry about
{\a1\pos(180,96)}is where you want me
to set you down
{\a1\pos(180,96)}after I make
the transfer.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Go on, pick your spot.
Edwards? Vegas?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}How about
the beach in Malibu?
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Why not?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}All right, take your
pills, go to sleep,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}and leave
the driving to us.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Good night.
I'm out of here!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I'll see you in 39 hours
and 16 minutes.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Not if we see you first.
( laughs )
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I love that one.
That's really good.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Tastes like fresh cherries.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I wonder what mine's
gonna taste like?
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Mmm. ( gulps )
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Gene, stop looking at it
and just eat it!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}What's he doing?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}He's crushing it into
his cleft on his chin.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}A mortar and pestle.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Time to go.
Shoes for industry.
{\a1\pos(159,460)}Shoes for the dead.
Shoes for industry.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hi, there. My name's
Joe Beats.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Say, what chance
does that--
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Ironman One, Ironman One.
This is Houston.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Do you read me?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Roger that, Houston.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Coming in
on the wall-to-wall.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Roger that, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Advise you adjust
your attitude
{\a1\pos(12,460)}using happy hour
protocol 3-niner.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Roger that, 3-niner.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Houston, we're gonna
highball the Delta V
to modify attitude.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Roger, we have
cranked down on the IMU,
{\a1\pos(264,460)}you-are-me, tuck
and roll formation.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Roger, Corman,
advise you pull all
GNN circuit breakers,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}modify your ILM Skywalkers,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}and full retraction
of your Robin Lame
Chartbusters
{\a1\pos(12,460)}and hold on your power
and glory switches.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Roger on that
glory hold, sir.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hold, I read Gypsy, doctor.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Serious start up leak
in apathy thrusters.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Serious yaw,
pitch and kick
{\a1\pos(138,460)}with apathy flux and rate.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Roger. Stay calm, boys.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Shut down all SVS dissident
controls but number one.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Speaking of number one,
Stoney,
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I got too much Tang in me.
I got renal overflow.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Better send up that
john, Houston.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Looks like Hackman here
has screwed the pooch.
Over.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Roger that, pooch.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}We're cranked down
till 0-niner-fiver.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Check in when you come over
the hill at Cannery.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}That's Canary, Crow.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Right, boys,
so just take your pills
{\a1\pos(12,460)}and kiss
your apogee good-bye.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What?
- What? What are you--
{\a1\pos(12,460)}That's right,
this is Fugitive One.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}When you want
headache relief fast,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}two Bufferin
and a glass of scotch.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, no! Joel!
He's wrecking everything.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Crow, what are you doing?
- What are you doing there?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'm just trying
to spice it up.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}This here is The Fugitive
{\a1\pos(12,460)}looking for
the riverboat queen,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}hauling a load
of sailboat fuel
northbound on the nickel.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}You got a bear
in your ear and a--
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Crow! Crow, enough
with the CB lingo.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}The only reason we did
this is because you
do such a killer Peck.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}10-4, killer Peck.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}You got some
rusty load running east
out of Needletown.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Looking at
the flabby gas passer,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'll be 10-10
on the side of fries--
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Joel: Come on.
You're coming with me
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Crow: ♪ Riverboat queen,
coming in to Los Angeles ♪
{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Bringing in
a couple of keys ♪
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Open the pod bay door, Hal.
Whoa, movie sign!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}- ( alarm )
- Help me. I'm stuck. Oh!
{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ Don't touch my bag
if you please ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Crow ruined everything.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I hate it when
you leave me hanging
{\a1\pos(138,460)}in the middle
of skits like that.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}I should caution you.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}It's the beautiful
Breck girls.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}You're gonna notice
some degeneration.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Is that good?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}But it's important to show
them how confident you are.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}We understand, Dick.
{\a1\pos(222,68)}We won't let you down.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}You want us
to be confident?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}The more relaxed they are,
the less oxygen they use.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I know why we're here.
- You do?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}You're letting us
say good-bye.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Is that Lou Grant?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}No, no, no. Lee Grant.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Lee Press-On Grant.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Celia?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Lee, honey, that's a Fall
if ever I saw one.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Jiggle the antenna.
Put it on channel 3.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Put some tin--
There you go.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Hi, Celia.
- Hi, Frank.
{\a1\pos(369,68)}Celia?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh! Nothing, nothing!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Wasn't touching.
It's okay.
{\a1\pos(285,68)}Celia?
{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Celia?
- You're breaking my heart.
{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Celia?
- You're breaking my heart.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Celia, we're gonna talk to him
on the monitor up here.
{\a1\pos(432,68)}Okay.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}What are you
laughing at?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}You know, in those days,
you were required to smoke.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Honey, guess where
I'm calling from?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Celia.
{\a1\pos(222,68)}Well, here I am again.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Signed, sealed, delivered,
I'm yours.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}What are you wearing?
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Everybody's so nice.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Sometime.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I spoke
to your father today.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh-oh.
- And he says to say hello.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}And he says he's sorry
you're going to die--
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I mean--
- Shh.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}I bought some new shoes.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Shoes. Huh.
- They hurt.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's great.
What the heck does that
have to do with anything?
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I'm dying up here!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Kids?
- Fine, fine.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I lost the bill
to the insurance.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I thought I had it paid,
{\a1\pos(180,460)}and then just this
morning, I got a letter.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Huh, I'd find that
and pay it
if I were you.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Listen, babe, I just want
to tell you that I love you.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}What?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}I said I love you.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}In front of the guys?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I just wanted you
to know.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Mm-hmm, neat. Now, so
the house needs painting
{\a1\pos(12,460)}and I was wondering if
you'd like a nice eggshell
or maybe an enamel?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I just wanted
to make sure.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Stoner, come on,
you're hurting my legs.
Scooch over.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Is it very lonely
where you are?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Nah, not with these guys.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Stoney's rigging
a beer bong.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}No, I'm not.
Not for long.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We all have
great confidence.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}That your death will be
quick and painless. Oops.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Celia, if you have,
you know,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}any more problems
with the insurance
{\a1\pos(96,96)}or the house
or anything like that,
{\a1\pos(96,68)}you can talk to Dougherty.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He's a good guy.
- And he's alive.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}You can depend on him.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}I gave him a kiss
to give you
when he sees you.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Just how many kisses
did you give him?
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Just so when I see him,
I'll know.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Yeah, just what I need.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}( laughs )
You never can tell.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}( laughs )
A little tuned up, honey.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Uh-huh.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}So I like pudding.
{\a1\pos(117,68)}Well, I gotta go now.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- No, not yet.
- Where?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}No, I mean, I really
have to go now.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Celia, I, uh...
{\a1\pos(54,68)}I had a real good day today.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I made an ashtray.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}And, you know, when you
think about this, uh...
{\a1\pos(96,460)}And you will think about
this, please be kind.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I want you to remember
I had a real good day.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You're not giving me much
to work with, honey.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Jim...
{\a1\pos(222,460)}( gulping )
{\a1\pos(96,68)}We better cut it off now.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Will I see you in September
{\a1\pos(96,460)}or lose you
to a summer love?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Oh, there's
one more thing.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'm buying a--
well, I guess it can
wait until your dead--
{\a1\pos(285,460)}I mean down. Sorry.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}I lost five pounds
last week.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}I can't wait
till you see me.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}So? Big deal.
I'm weightless.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}That tickles, honey.
Don't do that.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'm too good,
in fact.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}You take care of yourself.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Take care.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}( sobbing )
{\a1\pos(306,460)}And you're healed,
honey.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Note to myself,
remember the monitor thing
when he comes home.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I'm gonna be doing
TV movies
{\a1\pos(138,460)}for the rest of my career.
( sobbing )
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Celia, how'd it go
with Dick?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Does he know about us?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Could you touch
my screen, too?
Come on, Celia.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Hiya, sport.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Hiya, kid.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}How are the mice?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, they're dead.
How's the rabbit?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}We're learning
something every day.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}You writing a big
dull book up there?
{\a1\pos(306,460)}No. I leave that
to James Michener.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Just a small, dull book.
How are you?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Gorgeous. And you?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I'm working on
a little project.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}I've developed an
experimental hypothesis
for you to proof out.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Have you?
Well, what is it?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}How long can you
hold your breath?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}( whispering )
I miss you like mad.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Grrr. Yum, yum,
yum, yum.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yeah, I love you,
too, honey.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Your paper
came out last week.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, you got a B-.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}Professor Stavel said it's
a brilliant presentation.
{\a1\pos(369,96)}It was the best
he's ever read.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}We're gonna make it,
Teresa.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- What?
- Huh?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}We're gonna make it back.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- What?
- Huh?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}We're going
to make it back.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, that's great.
Now about the insurance.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I was wondering
if I have to--
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Believe me.
- Yes.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}I'm mean it.
We're all coming back.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Back? Well...well...
could...when?
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Could you call
first?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Listen, Teresa, I--
{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's Teresa.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I want you
and the kids to--
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, wait, I've got
another call coming in.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Could you hold a minute? Uh.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Look, I have to go now.
{\a1\pos(138,68)}I'll be seeing you.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Stoney.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}I'll be seeing you.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- No, you hang up first.
- No, you hang up.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No, you hang up.
- No, you.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}I love you.
Remember that.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}What was
the middle part?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Remember that.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}We'll always have
Encino. Whatever.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, fudge,
he was my connection.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}( blubbering )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}This makes for great TV.
{\a1\pos(432,68)}Buzz?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Ah, what? Nothing.
I wasn't doing...just...
{\a1\pos(285,124)}General LeClair
called all the way
from Clark's Field.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}He asked me to dinner.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}I thought
that was so nice.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, and Jim Garner
called, too.
{\a1\pos(285,96)}They want to
give you something.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}A headstone.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}Look, hon, you don't
seem to understand.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}It's all falling apart
up here. You understand?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, that's nice, honey.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}I understand, Buzz.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}You see, I broke
the washing machine,
{\a1\pos(96,68)}and now I can't fix it.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}What is he, the Maytag
repairman all of a sudden?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}I understand
how you feel.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}I could fix it if they'd
give me the tools,
{\a1\pos(12,68)}but they won't.
{\a1\pos(306,96)}Listen, honey,
I wrote something.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's called
"The Reluctant Astronaut
Bites the Big One."
{\a1\pos(12,96)}- Do you want to hear it?
- What?
{\a1\pos(348,124)}The President,
the White House,
Washington D.C.
{\a1\pos(285,68)}Dear Mr. President,
{\a1\pos(306,96)}We just wanted
to let you know...
{\a1\pos(117,460)}She's making this up.
{\a1\pos(222,124)}How much we appreciate
the heroic actions
to save our husbands.
{\a1\pos(222,124)}We are grateful to you
and to everyone
in the nation.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}The team effort
of the past two days
{\a1\pos(222,96)}will be an inspiration
to us, our children...
{\a1\pos(180,460)}God, this is so
poorly written. Jeez.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Don't you understand?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}It's all falling apart
and they're blaming me
{\a1\pos(96,68)}and I don't feel very good.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Can I fix you a nice 7-Up
and soda crackers, dear?
{\a1\pos(537,68)}Buzz...
{\a1\pos(264,68)}I have to go now.
{\a1\pos(600,460)}Bye.
{\a1\pos(285,96)}I love you.
I'll see you later.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Bye, honey. Guy's
a five-pound fruitcake.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I gotta get out of here.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}The other husbands
were so strong
{\a1\pos(306,460)}and mine's
a tower of Jell-O,
{\a1\pos(222,460)}but he's good, though.
Hmm.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Sorry, everyone, sorry.
Oh, turn him off.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Buzz, can you give me
a reading
{\a1\pos(180,96)}on your partial pressure
of carbon dioxide?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( inhales ) Here.
- Thank you very much.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}I just gave you that!
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Turn it off!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Negative, Buzz.
- Turn it off!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Negative.
You gave me a PS--
{\a1\pos(348,68)}This is good TV.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}What's going on
down there?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Why don't you get us
out of here?
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Get a hold of him, Jim.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Get him away
from the controls!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Why don't you come up here
and get us out of here?
{\a1\pos(453,68)}Sedate him.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Put on some Dan Fogelberg.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Buzz? Come on.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Buzz.
- Oh, no.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}He thinks he's Shatner,
for crying out loud.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Now just get us out of here,
that's all! Come on!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Buzz off.
- I'll say.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}That's my man
up there.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You better have a woman's
lounge around here.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}I've got points
on this game.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}I can't believe
you bet on the Bears.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It is cold out there.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}T-minus 60 seconds
and counting.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}- Hold!
- Hold!
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I'm gonna do
what Greg does.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Shut her down.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Damn.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Tower crew to launch pad.
Move in, Tower.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}But for Vince Lombardi
and the Green Bay Packers,
{\a1\pos(180,460)}there would come
another day.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Gene? Gene, buddy,
chin up.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Hey.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, man.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Houston, Ironman,
do you read?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I can't read.
That's my secret shame.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Goldstone, this is Ironman.
Do you read?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Goldstone,
this is Kidney Stone,
gallstone niner.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I know you're there.
Stop screening your calls.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Guaymas, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Rubber ply,
this is Iron John.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Gene, what does your suit
smell like, buddy? ( laughs )
{\a1\pos(222,68)}Cape, this is Ironman.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Pruett?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm sorry, I thought Jim
was gonna get it
{\a1\pos(285,460)}and he thought
I was gonna get it.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I'm sorry. We had
to scrub the launch.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, hey, hey,
there's ladies present.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}These guys better
scrub the inside
of their suits.
{\a1\pos(285,68)}Yeah.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Yeah, I figured
it might be like that.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}We've been
watching the storm.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}We suggest you start
breathing in shifts.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}T-minus 60 seconds.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Now, listen, Jim,
we're still working
on that engine.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, you got the engine
down there?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}No wonder it doesn't work.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, great. Now
there's a bank robbery.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Oh, this bites,
Houston. Over.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Boss, I just...
{\a1\pos(96,68)}I wanted to tell you
{\a1\pos(96,96)}that you've done
a great job.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, up till now
at any rate.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}And, uh...
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, no hard feelings.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}The place looks great
and you look great
{\a1\pos(264,460)}and, well, you know.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I just want to say...
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ I'm so glad we had
this time together ♪
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Now you've done
a great job, really.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I'd like to be fed
to my dog.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}It's nobody's fault.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Good night now.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}GBI reports loss of signal.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Ascension will acquire
the spacecraft.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Shall we remote
you through?
{\a1\pos(516,68)}No.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Move in, white room.
Get the pilot out of there.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's Storming Norman.
Check it out.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Now get me Keith.
I want to speak to Keith.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Talk to me,
sweetcakes.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We've done everything
we possibly could.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}We cannot launch.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}But I'm telling you
to launch!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}You get this hay wagon
off the ground!
{\a1\pos(264,460)}No, no,
I can't hear you.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}I'm can't--
I'm leaving.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}La-la-la-la.
I do not hear you.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}La-la-la-la.
I do not hear you.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Okay. Stay
with the group.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}We promise you'll see
some stars this tour.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}In one of these buildings,
there may be a hurricane.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Look, there's
Gregory Peck.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wow, whoo!
- ( applauding )
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Here he comes.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}( humming theme to
"The Dick Van Dyke Show" )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}All right, shoot.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}But first,
a few bird calls.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}I have a brief statement.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}The launch
of the XRV rescue craft
{\a1\pos(96,96)}was scrubbed
at 8:47 Cape time.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}The pad was shut down
at T-minus 58 seconds.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Last call was at 1:45.
{\a1\pos(96,124)}When the wind velocity
in the launch area
rose to 48 knots.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}And tiny sandwiches
are being put back
in deep freeze.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Commander Pruett in
the Apollo Command Module
{\a1\pos(96,68)}has been informed.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}He wept openly
like a little baby.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}This...
{\a1\pos(516,460)}Is this.
{\a1\pos(117,96)}This was a very fine,
fine effort.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Looks good.
- Do you have any questions?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Mr. Keith,
you say that--
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Is there any way
I can look any dorkier?
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Does that mean you're
going to reschedule
at a later time?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}No, we have no plans.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Will there be any
future rescue attempts?
{\a1\pos(96,68)}We have no plans.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh, no, that guy
was in Rocket Club,
definitely.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Mr. Keith, you say
the men have been informed.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Who informed them?
{\a1\pos(264,68)}I did.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}What was their reaction?
{\a1\pos(369,460)}They liked it,
liked it a lot.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}Do you have
any other questions?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I have a quote
from Mr. Hackman.
He said, "Aah!"
{\a1\pos(180,96)}There's a general
assumption
{\a1\pos(180,124)}that the space program
will be brought
to a halt
{\a1\pos(180,96)}for an investigation
of the accident.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Check out Pee-Wee's
evil brother on the right.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Plus a general
examination
{\a1\pos(180,96)}of our purposes in space
and the morality
{\a1\pos(180,124)}of putting men
into space without
adequate--
{\a1\pos(96,68)}What's your question?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Why is Richard Speck
{\a1\pos(180,460)}looking over my shoulder
is my question?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Are the results you gained
worth the lives you lost?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}You're damn right they are!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}You wanna know what
they accomplished
{\a1\pos(12,96)}living up there in
a tin can for five months?
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, lots of stuff.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Because of men like these,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}we've taken the first step
off this little planet.
{\a1\pos(138,68)}The trip to the moon
{\a1\pos(96,96)}was just a walk
around the block.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}We're going to the stars.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Your little
small town pissant.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}To other worlds,
other civilizations.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Mr. Keith?
{\a1\pos(348,460)}I want this man
savagely beaten.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Men will be killed
in this effort,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}just as they're killed
in cars and airplanes,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}in bars and in bed.
What is it?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Are you sure you want
to say that?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- Look at the numbers.
- What about them?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}The numbers, Mr. Keith,
the numbers.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}What numbers?
Let me see.
{\a1\pos(390,68)}In God's name.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I just won lotto.
I quit! Whoo!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}( all shouting )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, these are some pics
that my kids drew.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Yeah, I hope
you like them.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Who cut out the ad?
I haven't even read
this yet.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}We have 90-knot winds.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}In the center or eye,
we have zero.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh, oh, Mr. Liddy?
Mr. Liddy?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}It's over the Cape.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}All I wish to hear
from each of you
{\a1\pos(96,68)}is yes or no, go or no go.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Uh, go.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}We have a launch window
{\a1\pos(180,96)}while the eye
is over the Cape.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}We affirm a launch window
at 22:31:06.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Can you launch your rocket
{\a1\pos(96,96)}through the eye
of the hurricane?
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yes, sir.
- If I felt like it.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Will the bird fly?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Well, it's been kicked
around by 80-knot winds.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- The data's a little--
- What's your judgment?
{\a1\pos(474,68)}It'll fly.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Carp?
- Yes, sir.
{\a1\pos(516,460)}Carp?
{\a1\pos(117,96)}Do we have 16 minutes
in the eye?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}No, sir, not 16.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Do we have 14?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Well, we've been trying
to get a prog chart--
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Come on, Carp,
yes or no!
{\a1\pos(96,68)}What's your judgment?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}I'll buy 14.
{\a1\pos(117,96)}Can we move the tower
back in 12 minutes?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}You give the order
and we'll do it.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Houston, Flight.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}That's your night
retainer, sir.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}Is the rescue craft
go for Port Charlie?
{\a1\pos(180,124)}We can have
Point Charlie, yes,
but from there on in,
{\a1\pos(180,96)}the pilot
will be on his own.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Rescue, can you rendezvous
{\a1\pos(96,96)}without an onboard
computer program?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}You just get me
in the ballpark.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}As long as it's not
in the Metrodome.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Then we are go for launch
at 22:31:06 local time.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Just deal with it,
Carp.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}22:31:06 local time.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Roger. 2-2-3-1-0-6
local time.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Give or take an hour.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}We'll recycle
to T-minus 30.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's Peter
Ueberroth there.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}When this is over, let's
find a quiet spot, huh?
{\a1\pos(222,96)}By 22:31:06,
the crew will be dead.
{\a1\pos(306,96)}There's not enough
oxygen left
{\a1\pos(306,96)}for three men
to live that long.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}What about two men?
{\a1\pos(432,460)}What about
six midgets?
{\a1\pos(222,96)}We plot total pressure
against total use.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Is there sufficient oxygen
for two men?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}What about two men
standing on each
others shoulders?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Or one?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}How about two small
dogs and a bat?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}A porcupine, perhaps?
{\a1\pos(201,68)}Two might just make it.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Two small dogs
it is then.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, someone left
the Cape out in the rain.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, yeah.
- I had to do it.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I do love
The Weather Channel.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}It's good.
It really is good.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now for this word
from Dial. ( laughs )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I did it again.
- Stop it, you.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sorry.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Gee, just trying to get
the BB in the bear's eye.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}I love these
pocket puzzles.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Almost, yeah.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}- Oh!
- Move back service tower.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}( wind blows )
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ We're out of the dark,
we're out of the woods ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ We're out of the night ♪
{\a1\pos(12,68)}This is launch control.
{\a1\pos(12,124)}We have just confirmed
that all spacecraft
systems are go
{\a1\pos(12,68)}at this time.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Launch director
is about to feed
{\a1\pos(12,96)}the final computer update
to the spacecraft.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Wow, check out all
the night crawlers!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}This is
an unbelievable scene.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}No wind.
Absolute silence.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Overhead, nothing but black
night and brilliant stars.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}He's talking into
a Fudgsicle.
{\a1\pos(12,124)}As the eye
of the Hurricane Alma
passes directly over us.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}You say the magic word
and you get a $100.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}There's an eerie hush
over everything here.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ All over the world ♪
{\a1\pos(180,68)}No rain, no wind.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}The lives of three men
{\a1\pos(12,96)}are measured by
their fading heartbeats
{\a1\pos(12,96)}and here on pad 41
at Cape Kennedy,
{\a1\pos(12,96)}we're right in the middle
of another heartbeat.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}It's a single moment
in the life of a great storm.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Vinyl seat covers
on the cameras.
How tacky.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}A reprieve, we hope,
for Pruett, Lloyd and Stone.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}The service tower is rolling
away from the launch pad.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}( gasps )
Somebody stop it!
{\a1\pos(12,96)}As soon as
it's 800 feet away,
{\a1\pos(12,96)}it'll be locked
into position,
{\a1\pos(12,96)}but they'll launch
before that happens.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}That tower is expendable,
{\a1\pos(12,68)}but the three men--
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Are slightly less
expendable than
that tower.
{\a1\pos(54,96)}Ironman One, Houston CapCom,
do you read?
{\a1\pos(54,96)}Ironman One, Houston CapCom,
do you read?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Hey, isn't the machine
supposed to kick in
after four rings?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Ironman One, this is Houston
Flight, do you read me?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}You want to trade seats
or something?
{\a1\pos(201,68)}Ironman, this is Keith.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}What the hell
do they want?
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Flint. Flint!
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Ugh, I'm up, I'm up.
What, what?
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Hello, Jim, I want
to talk to you.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Yeah, what do you want?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}I have some
numbers for you.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}The eye of the hurricane
passed over the Cape
at 22:18,
{\a1\pos(138,96)}and we had a second window
at 22:31:06 Cape time.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Now, I want you to add
those numbers.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}I want to check out
the John Ritter
learning system.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}We've successfully
launched the rescue craft
{\a1\pos(96,96)}through the eye,
do you understand?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}You have launched
the XRV?
{\a1\pos(54,96)}Yes, that's correct.
The XRV has completed staging.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}It's a Honda,
actually, a CRX.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's only a two-seater,
so one of you has to go.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Our transfer
will be at 23:28.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}That's 55 minutes
from now. Do you read?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Right, right. We'll
take a vote on it,
{\a1\pos(138,460)}but we're kind of getting
used to the idea of death.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I told Stoney I loved him.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Jim, how do you, uh...
{\a1\pos(180,96)}How do you evaluate
the oxygen situation?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}What oxygen? ( laughs )
I kid. I'm just a cut-up.
{\a1\pos(96,124)}Well, we have
whatever oxygen is left
in the spacecraft system.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}And then there's
whatever's in the air.
{\a1\pos(96,124)}Two bottles
of emergency oxygen on
board, five minutes each.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}That's 10 man-minutes.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}We can always squeeze
Stoner for a quart.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}My backpack and Lloyd's
and Stone's...
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Burp a little.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}But there's not much
oxygen left in them.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}Well, you'll have to
save your backpacks
for the EVA transfer.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, I know that.
- Duh.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}55 minutes.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Stoney's shrooming.
Look at him.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}We'll be dead by then.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Well, that's how
I see it, too.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Looks like we solved
this problem. Thanks.
{\a1\pos(222,96)}Continue to use oxygen
at the present rate.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Well, we can't cut down.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Let's think about that.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Won't you?
Thank you.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}You want us to lower the
partial pressure again?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}No, we've examined that.
It won't work.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Should we all beat around
the bush a little more?
{\a1\pos(222,96)}Well, we're lying here
like corpses now.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}What else can we do?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'm glad
you brought that up.
Now you've got it.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}You must think.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Duh, one, duh, two.
{\a1\pos(180,124)}The guy in the middle,
he's the trouble-maker.
You know it.
{\a1\pos(348,96)}Yeah,
we're thinking.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}L-tay, only-stay,
m-scray.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Are we talking about
the same thing?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Are you talking to me?
{\a1\pos(516,68)}Yeah.
{\a1\pos(348,96)}Why don't you
talk it over?
{\a1\pos(285,96)}If you could
work out something,
{\a1\pos(348,96)}it would be
a great help.
{\a1\pos(348,96)}Yeah, we'll
talk it over.
{\a1\pos(222,68)}I must point out, Jim,
{\a1\pos(138,96)}that any effective action
must be taken immediately.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Look, don't tell me
what to do!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}We've been taking your
goddamn orders
{\a1\pos(180,96)}and where the hell
are we?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}From now on, we're gonna
make all the decisions!
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Dirty anarchist.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Whatever we do,
you're out of it!
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Oh, I appreciate
what you're saying, Jim,
{\a1\pos(180,68)}and I agree with you.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}You're exactly right.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}You are correct, sir.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}( clears throat )
Yeah, anything else?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yes, to two of you,
good luck.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}To one of you,
good-bye.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Would you please give me
{\a1\pos(180,96)}those launch numbers
again?
{\a1\pos(222,96)}Yes, that's launch
at 22:31:06 Cape time.
{\a1\pos(222,96)}Rendezvous
and transfer at 23:28.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}And breakfast
any ol' time.
{\a1\pos(537,68)}Thanks.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}For nothing.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}( laughs ) Wait till they
find out I'm joking.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}There's plenty of air
for everyone. ( laughs )
{\a1\pos(138,460)}You know, they say someday
these will be cordless.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Launch at 22:31:06.
Rendezvous 23:28.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's a pretty funny guy,
isn't he?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}55 minutes to go.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Counting commercials?
{\a1\pos(369,96)}Through the eye
of a hurricane.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Quit breathing so hard.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Jesus, 55 minutes.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, Stoney, you still
have that pillow?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Right. It'll be
pretty cold by then.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}You know, when you put
your mouth down here,
{\a1\pos(117,460)}you can make a funny noise.
{\a1\pos(138,96)}Well, one of us
is gonna have to go.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}I mean, uh...
{\a1\pos(222,460)}I just went.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}That's what we're talking
about, isn't it?
{\a1\pos(201,96)}One of us goes
and the other two stay?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, I think it should be
old Zeppelin lungs Hackman.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'll stay.
I want to be the one.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}You're closest
to the door.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I could move.
- What are we gonna do?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Should I stay
or should I go? ♪
{\a1\pos(12,96)}All right, let's
do it scientifically.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Two big guys throw
the little guy out, okay?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ( all laugh )
- That's a good idea.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Um, well--
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I wasn't joking, Gene.
Serves you right
for doing "Gypsy Moths."
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Well, we're gonna have
to talk about this.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}So what are we gonna do?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}We already told you.
Throw you out.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Think we're joking?
Are we amusing you?
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Do you think
we're clowns?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}I could do it by chance.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}I'll tear out
strips from a pad.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}One short, two long.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}The guy
with the short end goes.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Well, they could
flip a coin,
{\a1\pos(264,460)}but it would never
come down.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}They could play Yahtzee.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Play Yahtzee. Yeah.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Tear the little guy
in half.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Well, look, I don't want
to just lay here and die.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I want to shake the dirt
of this crumby capsule
{\a1\pos(306,460)}off my shoes
and see the world.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Two guys, three guys,
is that much difference?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}I say double the pills.
Put ourselves out.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Wait, are there five
all of a sudden?
Did I miss something?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Even when there's
no pressure,
{\a1\pos(12,96)}there's still oxygen
molecules floating around.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}You live for a while
{\a1\pos(12,96)}even when there's no
pressure in the gauges.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Yeah, my cousin
did it once.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}For God's sake,
it's less than 55 minutes!
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- You're dreaming, Stone.
- All right. Okay.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'll go.
- Good.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Wait, I'm locked in.
I can't. I'm sorry.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I'm the weakest. I'm
using up the most oxygen.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}I'll go. It's all right.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}All right, all right.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}It really isn't what you call
a win-win situation, is it?
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Uh-uh, uh-uh.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}All right,
get your helmets on.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}I'm going out
to fix the engine.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Are you kidding? You
can't fix that engine.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, who died and made you
President of the capsule?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}There.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I don't know why I let
them talk me out of it.
{\a1\pos(117,96)}I should've done this
two days ago.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Come on,
get your helmets on.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, look,
it's a big old '59 Caddy
{\a1\pos(33,460)}with a carbuncle on the back.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Anyone seen
my Grecian formula?
{\a1\pos(369,460)}I left it here,
a small bottle,
says "Greg."
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I think I'll play
a little Super Mario,
if you don't mind.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Okay. Don't everyone
talk at once.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, now, that was
a riveting scene, wasn't it?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( Crow whistle )
- Yeah.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Breathe deep
the gathering gloom.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Richard, unh-unh.
Don't touch that.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Unh-unh, no.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hey, that's
the yogurt machine.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Don't you dare
go out there.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I don't want you
out there.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, while
he's going out,
let's us go out, huh?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Mm, let's us go out.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Take a cue.
- Well said.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hey, there's lots
of oxygen out there.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, did you guys ever think
about what might happen
{\a1\pos(96,460)}if one of us would
have to leave the ship
{\a1\pos(180,460)}in order to save
the others?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Uh, nope.
- Not really, no.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Really?
Not in the least?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Can't say as I have,
Skipper.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, pretty cut and dried
if you think about it.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, come on,
you guys are saying
{\a1\pos(12,460)}that this film hasn't
touched you in the least?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Three men
marooned in space.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}You know, they're
addressing a problem
{\a1\pos(180,460)}that we someday
may have to face.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}And, you know, who can put
a value on human life?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I mean, who can decide
who lives and who dies?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I do, remember?
I called dibs.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Joel, I hate to be
the shriveled carrot
{\a1\pos(264,460)}under your
peach cobbler, but--
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, Joel, there really
isn't anything to talk about.
{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You're a human.
- You need oxygen to breathe.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}We don't.
We're robots.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Exceptionally cute
robots, I think.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yes, exactly.
Oh, and clever, too.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I was gonna say
irreverent and witty.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Droll, yet insightful.
- Oh, hardly different.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm already alone,
aren't I?
{\a1\pos(348,68)}He'll fix it.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh. Hey, guys.
You're a big help.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}He'll fix it.
{\a1\pos(12,124)}You son of a bitch.
You know what
he's doing up there.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}He's smoking.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Buzz, don't!
{\a1\pos(306,460)}He told me he was
out of cigarettes.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Jim! Get back in here.
Jim, don't do it!
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Okay, now where's the hood
on this goofy thing?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}You're going to rip
out the umbilicals.
{\a1\pos(222,68)}Jim, don't do it! Jim!
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Jim!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm hiding down here.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Jim, don't do it! Jim!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Jim, come back in here
and put your mittens on!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}No, Jim, don't.
Really, no, don't go.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Stoney? Stoney, give me
some line here. Stoney?
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Feed me, Jack,
feed me!
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, what do you know?
( laughs )
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Jim, quick,
throw us your Rolex!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}You know he's gonna
burst like a balloon.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}It's sad really.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Mm. If you
think about it.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Doggone it, Jim,
you got the keys!
{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'm melting...melting.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, he cubed it, man.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I don't think
I can watch this. No way.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Dying is easy.
Comedy is hard.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, so Richard Crenna
said that?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yep, think so.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Either that matte
painting goes or I do.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, he said that, too?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Wait, one last bit.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Like my Cagney?
You dirty rat...
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Luke! Lukey, dagnabbit!
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You get back
in this ship right now
before I tan your hide.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hey, you didn't sign
our yearbook.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, it's Matt Dillon
and Penny Marshall.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ I'd rather be a hammer
than a snail ♪
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Huh? Oh.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Yeah, he's dead.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Can we still
have dinner?
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Is that a no?
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Well, you think
about it.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Tonight, the music
of Laserium.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Uh, Carl would
like to see you.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Haunting, isn't it?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Alan Sheppard in
a well-received cameo.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, he must share an office
with Fred McMurray.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Major Healy here
will be right in.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Get out! Get out!
{\a1\pos(264,460)}The calls are coming
from inside NASA!
{\a1\pos(117,460)}If you have a husband
in space, press one.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}If you have a dead
husband in space,
press two.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Mrs. Pruett, I wanted
to talk to you.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I'm calling from
your credit union.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Your husband is dead.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}- And how are you?
- Way to let her down easy.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}It was an accident.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}We were playing
and, well, mommy said
I was too rough.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}He was trying to repair
the spacecraft.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}And he shot himself.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}So I was wondering
if you'd like to have
some dinner.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}You like Chinese?
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I know this place.
It's called The Crash Pad.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}So how are things
on your end?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Not so good, huh?
Well, my condolences.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'm sending you
a case of steaks.
{\a1\pos(390,460)}Hello? Really?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Please, let a smile
be your umbrella.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I speak from the--
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yay! It's not us!
Whoo! Whoo!
{\a1\pos(432,460)}( whistles )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now we got some room.
Thought he'd never leave.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Scooch over.
{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Excuse me.
- I told you, Jim's not here.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}He had an accident.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Dave's not here, man.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Where's Stoney at?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}I'm here.
{\a1\pos(348,68)}Stoney?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Dougherty's coming.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Man, they're really cutting
loose on that breathing thing
{\a1\pos(96,460)}now that that guy's gone.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yeah, they're breathing
for two now.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Stoney, tell Jim...
{\a1\pos(222,460)}I love him.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}To get us out of here.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Stop eating your oxygen,
damn you! Be still!
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- It's Chuck Heston.
- Sounded like him.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, look, the mothership.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}The funkadelic
mothership?
{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Range 76.8.
- Mm-hmm.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}And since when did NASA
paint anything red?
{\a1\pos(264,96)}I'm a little
under the line.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Rescue, Flight.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Janssen under the line?
Right.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Roger, attitude is go,
Delta V 63.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know, either that ship
is tiny or he's huge.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}Roger, 3, 2, 1.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Oh, that helped.
Watch this.
{\a1\pos(537,68)}Oxygen.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Can't.
- Nope.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Can't. Gotta save it
for the transfer.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, not another bite
until we get to Grandma's.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I got a big scene coming up.
I need the oxygen.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh.
{\a1\pos(117,68)}Oh, you're not dying.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'm dying. Great.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}It takes a long time to die.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Ironman, this is Rescue.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Ironman, this is Rescue.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Read you.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Read you? I love you.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Turn on your
acquisition lights.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Say again?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Come on, Stoney, turn on
your acquisition lights.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Turn on
your love light!
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Roger.
- And leave it on.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Roger. Acquisition lights.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Boy, are those bright.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Pretty bright lights.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Okay, Stoney, I'm coming
right down the pipe.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}I'll see you
in six minutes.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Wow, you thought of me,
man. All right.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Six minutes.
- Roger.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Buzz, six more minutes.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Phooey, phooey, phooey,
phooey, phooey on the ship.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Phooey on the ship
is what I say.
{\a1\pos(432,68)}Can't...
{\a1\pos(96,96)}You can, buddy.
You've got to!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, everybody, it's
the Stoney and Buzz show.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Think of something nice.
Think, uh...
{\a1\pos(96,460)}That Buzz has been
a raspberry seed in my
wisdom tooth long enough.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Think of the Earth, Buzz.
{\a1\pos(12,68)}Look at the Earth, Buzz.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Look, can you tell
where we are?
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Over the dells?
{\a1\pos(432,68)}Stoney?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm right here, okay?
{\a1\pos(12,68)}All right, Buzz.
{\a1\pos(33,68)}All right.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}You can sit
next to the window.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}All right.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Time for that Flowbee
haircut. Come on.
{\a1\pos(306,68)}All of you.
{\a1\pos(348,96)}Okay, open wide.
Here comes papa.
{\a1\pos(306,68)}Oh.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}All right, Buzz,
you're on my air now.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh...oh, that's good.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, my God,
what the heck are they
doing up there?
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Cabin air. There
must be some left.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, that's not half bad.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Smells fresh.
- Hmm.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, finally,
the cable guy's here.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Took him long enough.
- The Russian cable guy.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Huh?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ In our Easter bonnets ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ With all the red,
black around it ♪
{\a1\pos(264,68)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Who's laughing?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}I can't figure it out.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh, the other Gene
is laughing.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, Gene, I hooked you
into the nitrous.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I'm sorry.
- ( laughs )
{\a1\pos(96,68)}( rapid beeping )
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Come here, you.
Tuck in that shirt.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You look ridiculous with
the tails hanging out.
{\a1\pos(264,68)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(390,460)}That's enough
for you, dude.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, roger. Dave, we
don't need you anymore.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}The Russians rescued
them. Thanks anyway.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Roger, Ted, you've got
their acq lights.
{\a1\pos(474,68)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Whoo-hoo, that's a good one.
That was number nine.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Whoo-hoo-hoo.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}I kill me.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Blow the hatch.
{\a1\pos(222,96)}Do not!
Do not blow the hatch!
{\a1\pos(222,460)}( laughs ) Bite me.
I'm blowing the hatch.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Whoo-hoo. Oh, look.
We're heating the outside now.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Damn them!
Damn them all to hell!
{\a1\pos(348,68)}( laughs )
{\a1\pos(264,460)}All right, chuckles,
up you go. Come on.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ There's a bright
golden haze on the meadow ♪
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, is that Nancy Sinatra?
{\a1\pos(285,460)}No, that was Servo.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}The boots. He's
talking about the boots.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh. ( laughs ) Okay.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Never told you this before.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Gene's got nice legs,
doesn't he?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}All right,
where's the supernova?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Pull it over. Come on.
{\a1\pos(264,96)}He can't get
any closer, Buzz.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}If I was any closer,
I'd be behind you.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Whoa, I've been shooting
red and yellows all day.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'm so sleepy.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}There's the pitch.
{\a1\pos(285,68)}Come here, dumbsky.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, looks like
it's low and away.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's gonna be ball one.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oops, I don't got you.
I meant to do that.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, so sorry,
Mr. American Space Guy.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oops. Bye-bye.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, we lost
another one in the sun.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know, I thought
Walter was gonna really
do it this year,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}but, well, anyway,
it's a good time right now
{\a1\pos(180,460)}for an ice cold
Budweiser beer.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'm just gonna lie down
for a little catnap.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Just a little
winky dinky.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}( snoring )
{\a1\pos(264,460)}And now, ladies
and gentlemen,
{\a1\pos(264,460)}the mystery of the
astral levitation.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's got a nice
vacuum-sealed codpiece
on there.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I mean, look at that.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}I'll get you.
I'm not that drunk.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Had to stop off
at a package store.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Would have been here sooner,
but I hit all the lights.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I've got visual
on them now.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I'm gonna
break down to 10.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}They're about 50 feet apart.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}The Apollo hatch is open.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Can you see the crew?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'm gonna break down
and cry.
{\a1\pos(96,68)}Negative.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}I'm gonna go in
a little closer.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oop. I just
fried 'em. Sorry.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Low riders in the sky ♪
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Turn your blinker off.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Dude, pretty hot
spaceship.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}Now there's a light flashing
from the Russian ship.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, you kids, get going.
Get a move on. Come on.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, Ivan, got any vodka
in there? I'm dying.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Some guy floating
about a 150 feet below me.
{\a1\pos(138,68)}I'm going after him.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}My guess would be it's
the guy you're looking for.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Neat. Major Matt Mason.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Sure wish I had me
one of those jetpacks.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Be a perfect sleeper,
be a perfect sleeper ♪
{\a1\pos(264,460)}♪ Perfect sleeper
by Serta ♪
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Shall we have it?
- Mm-hmm.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}No, no, made a mistake.
It's not him.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's somebody else.
I don't know who.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Never pick up hitchhikers.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Unh-uh.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}All right, come to me,
my sweet friend. Come on.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come to papa.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh, hi.
I feel like a dope.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Sorry you had to
come out all this way.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Eh, no problem.
I'm just gonna have
to take your appendix.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Don't mind me.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}My appendix?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, look, he's got a
super squirter in there.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, no, that's a little
baby nitrous thing there.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ooh. ( giggles )
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Gee, thanks,
I guess. Huh?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Well, then.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Hey, hey, hey,
wait a minute.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I was just about to
become a star child.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}There's nothing
going on out here.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm going back in.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, hey, look, I found
another one out here.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}They're everywhere
and they're free. ( laughs )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I know it's kind of ugly.
Just get in.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I kind of live
out of my satellite.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}We'll get your head
all polished up.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Get a nice meal.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, hey,
look at that thing.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}You can see the strings.
Fakey, fakey.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yeah, it's really fake.
And look, you can see
their backpacks, too.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah--huh?
- Oh, yeah.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Excuse me, sir.
Would you step out
of the vehicle please?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}May I see your license
and identification?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Mom, is that you?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}You know,
the ironic thing
is that in real life,
{\a1\pos(180,460)}James Franciscus died
{\a1\pos(306,460)}and Richard Crenna
was still alive.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}And he was "The Finder
of Lost Loves."
{\a1\pos(138,460)}No, that's Tony Franciosa.
Think about it.
{\a1\pos(621,460)}Oh.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Baby Jessica?
- Come in, Ironman.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I feel like
some pineapple
upside down cake.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}Okay, who am I now?
Mussolini, right?
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yeah, thank you
very much. Thank you.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Uh-oh.
Stoner cubed it.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Ironman, this is Keith.
Come in.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, hey, hey,
he's touching him
in the space suit area.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Bad touch. Bad touch.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Hey, that's my wallet.
He's rolling me.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yeah, sometimes
I like to sit out here
{\a1\pos(264,460)}and just look at
the stars and think.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
{\a1\pos(222,460)}I haven't had a single
good scene yet.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Please watch for me
in "MacKenna's Gold"
and the "Omen."
{\a1\pos(138,460)}( hums theme from
"MacKenna's Gold" )
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Ironman One, this is Keith.
Do you read me?
{\a1\pos(54,460)}You know, he even looks
like a Russian, doesn't he?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}I smell a rat,
a big commie rat.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ooh, shh.
Just take a look.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Isn't he cute
when he's asleep?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hold on. He only takes
unleaded, Mr. Russia.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}I would've done that,
but our hoses
are not compatible.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}Yeah, yeah.
{\a1\pos(474,460)}Huh?
( groans )
{\a1\pos(264,460)}"Longstreet."
I'm on "Longstreet."
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Packs, sit packs.
( groans )
{\a1\pos(306,460)}You know
I was skeptical,
{\a1\pos(264,460)}but I like you guys.
It's fun.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}Ironman, do you read me?
{\a1\pos(180,96)}Cape, this is Rescue.
I'm in the Apollo.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}The Russian
got some air to Stoney
{\a1\pos(180,96)}and I've transferred him
to my oxygen.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}His head looks like
a gumball machine.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Stupid guy's
stranded in space,
{\a1\pos(306,460)}head looks like
a gumball machine.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}- And I've got Lloyd.
- ( cheering )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, we're getting color
TVs, everybody. Whoo-hoo!
{\a1\pos(264,460)}A wrap party
right after strike.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}They're really immature,
aren't they?
{\a1\pos(180,68)}( cheering )
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Thank you.
Don't touch me.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}I'm not really
a party person.
{\a1\pos(180,68)}( cheering )
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Whoo!
- Look out. He's crazy.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Mama. Mama.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}We know. Sure.
Whatever you say.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Yeah, right.
Uh-huh. Neat.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Riding the storm out ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}( imitates drums )
♪ Waiting for... ♪
{\a1\pos(264,96)}Prepare
for re-entry.
{\a1\pos(96,96)}Roger. Prepare
for re-entry.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Yeah, what a day.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeah, Ralph,
I'm gonna take off.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}You guys lock up.
I've got my keys.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Well, got to go.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Got a date with
a very special widow.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Lee Grant,
a very lucky lady.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Thank you.
Thank you very much.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Gregory Peck,
ladies and gentlemen.
Gregory Peck.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Let's bring him out again.
How about it?
{\a1\pos(390,68)}10, 9, 8, 7...
{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ 'Cause they're technicians,
identical technicians ♪
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- 4, 3, 2, 1.
- Pilot light.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Whoo!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Roasting.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Okay, Chuck.
- Good-bye.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Bye.
- I had a nice time.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}You know the Russians
based their spaceship
on Scrubbing Bubbles.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}They do all the work
so you don't have to.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Nanu, nanu. This is--
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, look,
it got all loggy
{\a1\pos(180,460)}and they left
the door open.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}This is Mork
calling Orson.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}Mork calling Orson.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}That was a wonderful,
powerful ending.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I love this music.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Like a circle
in a spiral ♪
{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Like a wheel
within a wheel ♪
{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Never ending-- ♪ Whoa.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Play the video game.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Read the Bantam book.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Soundtrack available
on RSO Records,
{\a1\pos(222,460)}or hit the demo button
on any Casio keyboard.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}I think it's time
to roll. Whoo.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'm John Palmer and this
is the "NBC Nightly News."
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Total fake out.
- Works every time.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, do you guys like
having fun with magic?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, sure,
we love having fun,
{\a1\pos(264,460)}and we like
to be with others.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}What we know
about others,
which isn't much,
{\a1\pos(264,460)}considering we've
spent our lives
{\a1\pos(264,460)}locked in space
with you.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now what about this
trick here, Le Pétomane?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I like dynamically
changing people's lives
{\a1\pos(12,460)}through humorous skits
and stories, Joel,
{\a1\pos(12,460)}and I'm not just saying
that to be a kiss-up.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Thanks, little-itty buddy.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Anyway, what we got here
is a trick
{\a1\pos(96,460)}that involves
these scale models
{\a1\pos(117,460)}of the control module.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Cool.
- And these little
{\a1\pos(117,460)}James Franciscus
action figures, okay?
{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Put that in there like that.
- Stoney.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Okay, now, what I'm gonna do
is take--find the--
{\a1\pos(33,460)}it's called find the
"Finder of Lost Loves," okay?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}And so I mix them here.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Joel, Joel,
I don't want to wreck
your routine here,
{\a1\pos(285,460)}but the "Finder
of Lost Loves"
was Tony Franciosa.
{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, where is the James
Franciscus action figure?
{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, it's simple.
It's right there,
right where you put it.
{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'm afraid that's the Tony
Franciosa action figure.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}Find the "Finder
of Lost Loves."
{\a1\pos(306,460)}I know, okay.
Okay, there it is.
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hello, it was fun.
- I know.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay, okay,
which one--where's the--
{\a1\pos(12,460)}where's the James
Franciscus action figure?
{\a1\pos(12,460)}On the left.
Definitely on the left.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Okay.
- I'm not wearing
my underwear.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- No, I'm sorry.
- Oh.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}That's the Ben Gazzara
action figure.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's fun to be fooled.
Okay, finally.
{\a1\pos(306,460)}Okay, I'll buy
Fruit Stripes gum.
{\a1\pos(369,460)}Turn over
the middle one.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, I'm sorry,
that one contains
{\a1\pos(138,460)}the James Farentino
action figure,
{\a1\pos(138,460)}the Joseph Campanella
action figure,
{\a1\pos(96,460)}and the Burl Ives
action figure.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- The bald ones!
- Oh, my God!
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, stung again!
- Oh, stung again!
{\a1\pos(96,460)}All right, anyway,
{\a1\pos(54,460)}now let's do a few letters,
you guys, okay?
{\a1\pos(180,460)}This first one--
{\a1\pos(54,460)}put that up on still, sirs--
{\a1\pos(117,460)}from David St. Albins.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}He's from Albuquerque,
New Mexico.
{\a1\pos(432,460)}Albu-quirky.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}"This is on camera
granted," he says.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}So that's good.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}Anyway, it says,
"Move over, pink boys.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}There's a new gang
in town."
{\a1\pos(54,460)}And it's got us in clothes.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Nice drawing.
- Yeah, it's good.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}They never quite
capture you though,
do they?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- No. Well, he's close.
- It's not bad.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}And then this one.
{\a1\pos(54,460)}Here's this little
photo collage they gave us.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, now, that's neat.
- And that's pretty good.
{\a1\pos(12,96)}And that comes from
Matthew Fisher, who's 14,
{\a1\pos(96,96)}and then Matthew Fiddler
his friend,
{\a1\pos(201,68)}who's also 15.
{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Matt and Matt.
- And he writes,
{\a1\pos(117,460)}"P.P.S.: Who designed
Crow and Tom Servo?"
{\a1\pos(138,460)}- That would be me.
- You did?
{\a1\pos(96,460)}"P.P.S.: My friend and I
{\a1\pos(96,460)}would like to see more
of Cambot on the show."
{\a1\pos(180,460)}That's impossible.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He's right over there.
- Buddy.
{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hi, Cambot. And finally,
{\a1\pos(54,460)}"P.P.P.S. where did you get
Mexican stoplight candy?"
{\a1\pos(96,460)}The answer to that
is Mexico.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mexico.
- That's right.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Oh, my goodness.
{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey!
- My ping pong balls!
{\a1\pos(180,460)}She's gagging. Quick!
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Whoo-ooh-ooh.
{\a1\pos(180,460)}What do you think, sirs?
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Ahh!
- Ahh!
{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ahh.
- Ahh.
{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Ahh.
- Ahh.
{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ahh.
- Ahh.
{\a1\pos(348,460)}Push the button,
Frank.
{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah.