Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988–1999): Season 3, Episode 3 - Jungle Goddess - full transcript

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- ♪ In the not-too-distant
Future ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Next Sunday AD ♪

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ There was a guy named Joel ♪

{\a1\pos(159,460)}♪ Not too different
From you or me ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ He worked at
Gizmonic Institute ♪

{\a1\pos(159,460)}♪ Just another face
In a red jumpsuit ♪

{\a1\pos(159,460)}♪ He did a good job
Cleaning up the place ♪

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ But his boss didn't like him
So he shot him into space ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ We'll send him
Cheesy movies ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ The worst we can find
La-la-la ♪

{\a1\pos(159,460)}♪ He'll have to sit
and watch them all ♪

{\a1\pos(75,460)}♪ And we'll monitor his mind
La-la-la ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Now keep in mind
Joel can't control ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Where the movies
Begin or end la-la-la ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Because he used
those special parts ♪

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ To make his robot friends ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Robot roll call
Cambot! ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- ♪ Pan left ♪
- ♪ Gypsy! ♪

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ♪ Hi girl! ♪
- ♪ Tom Servo! ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- ♪ What a cool guy ♪
- ♪ Croooow! ♪

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Wisecracker ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ If you're wondering
How he eats and breathes ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ And other science facts
La-la-la ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ Then repeat to yourself
It's just a show ♪

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ I should really just relax ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ For Mystery Science
Theater 3000! ♪

{\a1\pos(12,460)}ANNOUNCER: 30 seconds to
commercial sign.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, everybody.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Welcome to the experiment.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}ANNOUNCER: Commercial sign
in 15 seconds.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- We're playing
hide and seek

{\a1\pos(180,460)}with the elusive
and inexplicable forces

{\a1\pos(54,460)}which control the universe.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- We're still safe,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}because the cosmic universe
has its eyes closed,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and it's counting to
6.02 times 10 to the 23rd.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}JOEL:
Oh, oh, oh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I wanted to play hopscotch

{\a1\pos(117,460)}with the impenetrable
mystery of existence,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}but he stepped in a wormhole
and had to go innerly.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}ANNOUNCECommercial sign in
five, four, three, two,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}commercial sign now.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We'll be right back.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- 97, 98, 99, 100.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ready or not,
here we exist!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, look, the cosmic universe
isn't even trying to hide.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Rats.
- Oh, and feckless uber munses

{\a1\pos(222,460)}are flexing
their zychites again.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Huh?
- Huh?

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- The sites
is barking down my snorkel.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Oh.
- Oh.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Okay, this is how
it goes down.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}There's the chorus, and then
you come in after the bridge.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Legato.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Can you dig it?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Okay, and then
I start swinging

{\a1\pos(201,460)}like it ain't
nobody's business,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and that is if my chops
are in shape, heh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You know, chops.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SCATTING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Forget it.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}Joel,
what could I do for you?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- What are you talking about?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You called us!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, that's right,
I called you.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I think you're supposed to do
the invention exchange.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Uh, okay, this is
my invention exchange.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's called
the radio{\r} arm saw;

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and, uh, it's based on
the premise that carpenters,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}for the longest time,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}would have apprentices
that would,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}uh, study under them and do
some of the more mundane work,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and now a lot of young people

{\a1\pos(54,460)}go right into the fast food
industry.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}So, none of the carpenters
can afford them,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}except for maybe Bob Villa.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}But what this has is,
is a, uh, a circular saw

{\a1\pos(54,460)}that I bolted onto a remote
control car, all right?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And you can pan it back now,
Cambot, and we'll show this.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And what we've got here
is a board, okay?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I rev up the,
I rev up the, uh, car.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay, there it's going.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's kind of loud now

{\a1\pos(138,460)}so, uh, just try to
pay attention anyway.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}And it drives
right across like that,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and it saws the board
right in two.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- What's so great about that?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- It's based on the premise

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that the further you are
away from the saw,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}the better off
you're gonna be.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ( LAUGHS ) huh?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, come on,
shake it off, Joel.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}You're okay.
It could happen to anybody.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You okay, Joel?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- No, it's all hot,
and it hurts and stuff.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Aw.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, that doesn't look
OSHE inspected or anything;

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but, anyway, right now,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Dr. Forrester is going to
jam on our new invention.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Right, sir?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- That's right.
Thank you, Frank.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now, earlier today, Joel,
I removed my own head

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and fused it to the bell
of this baritone sax.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}When Frank blows
into the mouthpiece, I wail.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- That's right.
I press the valve down here,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}the music goes
round and round--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}whoa, oh, oh, oh--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and it comes out here.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Yes, I call
this little invention Dr. Sax.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Now I'd like to play for you

{\a1\pos(138,460)}some of my favorite
John Coltrane charts.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hit it, Frank.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}An evil supreme,
an evil supreme,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}an evil supreme.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, what do you think?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( JOEL COUGHING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You may have just
crossed that line.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've never seen anything
so hideous,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}so immoral, so atonal.
( COUGHING )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Thank you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, I've got to clean out
his spit valve.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ugh, thank you, Frank.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Well, Joel,
your movie this week

{\a1\pos(201,460)}is preceded by
a little piece of tripe

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that's very close
to my own heart,

{\a1\pos(264,460)}called,
"The Phantom Creeps,"

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and it stars our old friend,
Bela Lugosi,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}as a lovable but fractured
mad scientist.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Bad print, bad sound,
bad for you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Deal with it joyless prowl.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}( BUZZER )
- Oh, we've got movie sign!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(264,68)}- Okay.

{\a1\pos(96,68)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(201,96)}- My goodness,
it's creeping.

{\a1\pos(117,68)}It's really creeping.

{\a1\pos(96,68)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(138,96)}- Oh, it looks like
a Ding Dong with legs.

{\a1\pos(201,96)}- Ford Beebe!
- Ford Beebe!

{\a1\pos(201,96)}- Ford Beebe!
- Ford Beebe.

{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Sheila MacRae,
I'm coming!

{\a1\pos(117,68)}Goodnight, everybody!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- That's how I looked like
before my shave.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now let's meet the cast.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- That's my roommate, Steve.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He's always on the phone

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and always, always
in the bathroom.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Cindy, she's not half bad,
if you know what I mean.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Kind of looks like Madonna.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Then it's Johnny and Ray.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Johnny is the talkative one.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ray looks like Madonna.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- There's Pete and Repeat,
always sticking their ptooeys

{\a1\pos(12,460)}where they don't belong either.
Blah.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Those were just my friends.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Let's meet the cast.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I forget who did what here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I say shoot the picture.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Let God sort it out.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, "The Menacing Power."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}That would be Con Edison,
I'm guessing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, yeah, yeah.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Maybe I shaved him too close--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}the ultimate test
of the Helsinki formula.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, I just invented
the Post-it notes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Wasn't he one of
the Smith Brothers?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, or either trainer, Mark.
I'm not sure which one.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Now to put him
in my stock pot.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I knew him, Horatio.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You're not going to let
that thing out again, are you?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Certainly, there's work
to be done on it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- It might get away like
it did last time.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You dare mock me!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I created it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I'm the god,
I'm the god!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I can control it
or destroy it like you,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}you whom I helped
escape from prison.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}At the door--
go quickly.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I'm gonna give him
such a pinch, ooh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Boy, is he in a bad mood.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- What's behind the panel,
Johnny?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oil can.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Cool.
- Oil can.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I don't see what good it is.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The cops will never let
anything like that

{\a1\pos(138,460)}walk down the street.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Shut up.
He just plays tapes.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- What could the police
or anybody do

{\a1\pos(33,460)}against an army like them?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, they could give them
a plastic hassle, man,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}that's what.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Hello.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'm Milton,
your brand new son.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, what's the big deal?
It's a big metal Richard Kiel.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Uh, Gomer Pyle reporting
for duty, Sergeant Carter.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Shazam.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Now, how much would you pay

{\a1\pos(96,460)}for an all purpose
monster like this?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Wait, there's more.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We control him.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}He could crush
all opposition

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and make me the most powerful
man in the world.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hey, watch it!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, uh, nice speech,
but he's trashing the place.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Uh, he's programmed
to do Noel Abram's job.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Fix this in jiffy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( SERVO MAKING ROBOTIC NOISES )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Wait 'til I get him
on the straightaway.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Uh, Dominos.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- There's a car outside.
That will be my wife.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}She wants to take me away.
- She's got an extra job.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- She's afraid of
what I'm doing here;

{\a1\pos(204,460)}yet, she knows
only a small part of it.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Aha.
( MUMBLING )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- No thanks.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Let me go in and talk to him
alone, Dr. Mallory.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}He's been angry with you

{\a1\pos(33,460)}ever since you refused to
continue to work with him.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Thanks for the exposition.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Because he was
working along lines

{\a1\pos(243,460)}contrary to
the good of mankind.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I know.
- Hey, who doesn't?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Give him a break.
- Sure.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I hope I can stop him
before it's too late.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I hate to have you
face him alone.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Dressed like that.
- Oh, I understand.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I think he really cares for me,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}as much as
he can care for anyone.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Except himself.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, talk about
vicious backstabbing.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- You're not going to tell her
about the new element

{\a1\pos(117,460)}you discovered, are you?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You mean upsy-daisy-um?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- But I have accomplished what
they told me was impossible.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- A funny Gallagher routine?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Get me one of
the magnetized disks.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- But if you're determined
to face him alone,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}I'll wait in there.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- In a sound proof booth.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- But won't your wife think--
- Silence!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- She knows nothing
of our love.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'm her.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Alex!
- No, don't do that!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You scared the pants off me.
- Ann, my dear.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- You, you're glad to see me?
- Yes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Sure, as long as
the lights are out.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay, now beat it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I've been wanting a witness
to my great crime.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yes.
- Uh-huh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I told Mallory
and the others

{\a1\pos(33,460)}there was a way to induce
a state of suspended animation

{\a1\pos(138,460)}that couldn't be told
from death,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}that I could find it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Uh, play a Kenny G album?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- They called me
a dreamer, a fool,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but now I have it!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And you shall see
and tell them. Come.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Ah, you've really gone
over the edge this time, prof.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Ooh, I love what you've done
with the place.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Now what goes on in here?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- You see this disk?
Watch.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- This is disk.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, I've seen this one.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Now, tree, we've never met
before, have we?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Good.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What's he have,
sea monkeys, sea monkeys?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Ah, looks like sea monkeys.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- This is an outrage.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oosh!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- It will not come to you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Even spiders have taste.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- It will crawl
only to that disk,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}which I have put there
by the plant.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}That disk there is magnetized
by a positive ray

{\a1\pos(120,460)}with my new element,
which is unknown to science.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And this little spider
carries the magnet.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mm-hm, mm-hm.
- And the two--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Ah, can the balloon juice prop

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and get on
with the parlor trick!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Do that snappy pattern.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Chopper always leaves you
laughing.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I can see the string!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Whoa!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- That's my new opening.
What do you think?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You killed it!
ALEX:{\r} No, look.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Great, you just invented
stop animation.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Look there.
- ( indistinct )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- --under same circumstances.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- It's too bad that Mallory
is not here to see my triumph.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I have seen it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You, you were spying!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Call it that
if you wish, Alex,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}but you made no secret of it.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Now my fear is what are you
going to do with it?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'll put it in your shorts,
you little stinker.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Not hand it over
to the government,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}as you would have me.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I still think
that would be best.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It should be under control
for the good of mankind.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You would still receive credit
for its discovery.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You just won't be able
to do it any club.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- But possibly--
- Never will I let it go.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Already a foreign government
has offered me millions.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Perhaps--
- Thousands.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I shall sell to them.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Don't you realize
what a terrific weapon

{\a1\pos(117,460)}it would be in the hands
of unscrupulous people?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Comedy club owners?
- Of course.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That is why they shall
pay me dearly for it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Alex, you must not.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Then it is my duty to
inform the government at once.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Alex, please!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ooh, what a look
I'll give you!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- God grant me the serenity
to accept the things

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I cannot change and--

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- All right.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}If it is your duty,
do so, by all means,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}but you will find it
a great mistake.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- What do you mean?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( SINISTER LAUGH BY ALEX )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You shall soon learn,
all of you!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- The power of the dark one.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm sorry, but he just
can't help being creepy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Your prescription
is ready, sir.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Monk! Monk!
- No.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Get the devisualizer.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ooh.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Did you carry out
my instructions

{\a1\pos(117,460)}regarding the work
to be done on this?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Yes, sir.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- It's an electronic dance bot.
- But I was afraid to use it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'm not afraid!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Haim?
- L'chaim?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- They know everything
that I have,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}but they know nothing
of the devisualizer.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Uh, I think
it goes under the suit.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- It will conceal me
from my enemies.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'll stay here, tonight.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Perhaps I can see him again--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- If he'll have me,
the big galoot.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- --and persuade him
from his mad course.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And I'll get in touch
with the government.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}I've already talked
with Captain West

{\a1\pos(138,460)}of the War Department
about Alex.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- And I'll give the names
of my colleagues

{\a1\pos(138,460)}to Senator McCarthy.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- No, Ann,
they'll just keep him

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and what he has found
under control,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}so that he can't misuse it
or dispose of it

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to a country that would.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Ah!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, oh, I never
should've filled up

{\a1\pos(12,460)}on that four-alarm chili.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ooh, excuse me.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ow.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, burn the file
on the electric dance belt

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and pick up my manhood.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's under the chair.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You have failed, Monk!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- What do you mean?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I wrote straight, no chaser,
around midnight.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'll take that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- But I will not fail.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I cannot.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- I'll call, if I need you.
- Goodnight, Ann.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- And I'll go call Roy Cone.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Goodnight.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Fits nice, works real--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}oh, that's no dance beat.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Say, that's a pretty good
Patrick Swayze.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- It is perfect,
but for a shadow.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- But can you come back?
- Surely.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I must come back.
- Hm.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Then I'll go to
Victoria's Secret.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Heh-heh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Think you could steal me

{\a1\pos(180,460)}some candy bars
or something someday?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It'd be really cool.
- And now with the phantom,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}there is nothing
that I cannot do.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- If I had you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Just put some lace
on this dance belt.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Now, will our mystery guest
sign in, please?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Aw, he gets all
the neat toys.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SERVO AND CROW
MAKING ROBOTIC NOISES )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Now, if you guys don't mind,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've got a Michelin Man
reading in an hour.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}ALEX: Nobody can find
our secret workshop

{\a1\pos(54,460)}without the Iron Man helping.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I am Iron Man.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, it conceals so cleverly.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Nobody could ever find it.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Unless they're from
the Student Loan Association.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'll be entirely moved
by morning.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Pack what we need.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Look at all the pizzas
that guy can hold.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I'll, uh,
just let myself out.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- While the cat's away,
the mice will play.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh, I love what you've done
with the place.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I know,
I get compliments always.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Thank you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, sorry, I didn't have
everything packed.

{\a1\pos(225,460)}Come on,
set that down anywhere.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Can I get you a beer?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ah--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}now turn your head
and clank.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hm, wow, this guy really knows
how to get the most

{\a1\pos(12,460)}out of what limited space
he's got.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I know.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}He should be in
"Better Dungeons and Gardens."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- My private stock,
Glenfiddich, 30 years old.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Just what science has needed.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He's just blowing off
a little steam there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Quick, get Vicks
on the phone.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've just invented
the vaporizer.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- They must never
know about you,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}the source of all my power.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- From what you say,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Dr. Zorka has discovered
something very important.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I'm sure he has--
highly dangerous, too.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Zi umlaut?
- D7?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Snackmaster?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Have you made
any search for it?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- No, we thought we'd better
wait until you got here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Who are you, anyway?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Let's look
in his laboratory.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Aren't you going to
take that disk?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Well, uh,
I'll get it later.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'd hate to have
one of those spiders

{\a1\pos(138,460)}find it in my pocket.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHTER )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Those fools!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Let them search.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What's he looking at?
- They'll find nothing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We'll just break
right in here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I really like what
they've done in here

{\a1\pos(180,460)}with the pastels
and the, uh, instruments.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- A lot of equipment
seems to have been moved.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- We can talk Rank, a spy ring
guy will be with you.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- But--
- Hm?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Unseen.
- Oh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Next, I'll show you
how to make a bass snagger.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Your husband
smokes a popular brand.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Columbian.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHTER )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- He can't stand tobacco.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, how about
his assistant?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He can't stand smoking
his assistant, either.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- She's right.
Zorka worked alone.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Okay, now,
you be the chauffeur.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'll be the contessa.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We can play that game again--
ho, ho.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We must be very
careful than ever,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}that no one discovers the
entrance to our secret garage.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, right, right, right.
- Whatever.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Just get in there.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Get into this little
crawl space, you lard butt.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Geez. What a pain.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, brother.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'll phone headquarters

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and have his description
broadcast.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}He'll picked up somewhere;

{\a1\pos(120,460)}that is, if he still
answers his own description.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I just love
informing on people.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- All clear?
- Yes, sir.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Then we will go to meet
the agent of the spy ring.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Aspiring to what?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- When last seen, he wore
striped trousers,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}dark cornard tie
and cutaway coat.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- And a light blue Warner bra.
- Ooh.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- But it would take
one to carry the things

{\a1\pos(201,460)}that are missing
from his laboratory.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Hey, it's Gladys Kravitz.
- Yes, that's right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Put this on the teletype
right away, would you?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Let's see there.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Pick up that man!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- What do you mean,
give him a ride?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yes!
- No, ask him out.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}What do you think I mean?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- He might be useful to me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- He's just my type,
AB negative.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, you guys going
to that dead concert?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, did you hear
Pigpen died?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Pigpen is dead?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- If Pigpen died,
I don't want to live either.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- What a long,
strange trip it's been.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, that's a rental.
It's on my card!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'm dead now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Don't hitchhike, please.
- The man is dead.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Don't hitchhike.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- How fortunate.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}That simplifies everything.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- To you.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Get Miss Daisy out of there.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- We will make it seem
that it is the famous Dr. Zorka

{\a1\pos(159,460)}who has been killed.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh.
- The old switcheroo.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Good.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Then we will get
another car, go home,

{\a1\pos(243,460)}and see what
they are doing there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Then you'll be happy?
I don't think so.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- West speaking.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, just trying to do
what's right.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}And you?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Right, I've got it.
We'll fly right down there.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}There's been a car found,
wrecked and burned

{\a1\pos(222,460)}on Highway 10,
50 miles north of here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- A car phone?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Ah, just the thing
we're looking for.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- The contents of the pockets
indicated Dr. Zorka--

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Hi, I'm Speedy
the Alka-Seltzer-- ha, ha.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You go with it?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- It's Coo-Coo
the bird girl.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Such a shock.
ANN:{\r} I'll go.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}I must know.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- If Pigpen is still alive.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Warm up the plane,
will you, Jim?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Whenever you're ready,
Mrs. Zorka.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Put that lampshade
on your head,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and tie femur bones
around your waist,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and dance naked
in the moonlight!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Good one.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- I sure hope they have
those little salty sweet peanuts

{\a1\pos(180,460)}on this flight.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Good thing they still have
a broom closet on this plane.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- They are taking my wife

{\a1\pos(159,460)}to identify the body
we left at the car.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}She will know
it is not mine.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- What a hoot.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- She has one of my disks,
and she does know it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I have just time enough to put
that spider into the plane.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Am I whacky or what?

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- She will go
into suspended animation,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}so that she cannot
identify the dead man.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Then I will take her
from them, revive her.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Only to put her
back to sleep again.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Quick, we have to be there
as soon as the plane arrives.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I like this so much,
I bought the company.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- It shouldn't take long.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I'll check the lab equipment

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and try to figure out
just what's missing.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Bye.
- Goodbye.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Bye.
- So long.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Bye, bye.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- So, Bill, ever flown
one of these shuttles before?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Uh-oh, Raid!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, there's something
the matter with that door.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}I'm sure I shut it.
- Hmph.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Doesn't look to me
as if you did.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wiener.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Whoa!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- This wasn't in my bag
when I left the house.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- You know,
if you bite one of those,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}it'll spark in the dark.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Some kind of disk
that we found on the plant.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}ANN:
The one the spider went to.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Are you certain
it wasn't in your bag before?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Positive.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Now, you're sure
you're not a klepto?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I haven't seen
one of those things yet.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Jim, I want to send it
back to the department.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Are you sure
you didn't find it

{\a1\pos(243,460)}and take it
as sort of a keepsake?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Why, of course, I didn't.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Tell me, from where
the car was found,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}have you any idea
where Dr. Zorka was going?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- None whatever.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( ANN SCREAMING )
- Well, the pilot's bombed.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- The pulls are out of order.
We have to bail out!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- What are you doing here?
Never mind.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I'm the automatic pilot.
- Huh?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( MIKE AND BOTS SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Get into this chute.
- Yes, sir.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, Captain Spaulding.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Charlie Sheen,
Navy Seals.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Nice.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I think we're gonna
get out of here soon.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Uh-oh.

{\a1\pos(96,68)}- Hey, bomb those bots.

{\a1\pos(96,68)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- All right, and welcome
to Bela's okay discoveries.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}My name is Joel.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}A product that can allow you
to make anything at all explode?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We'll see it on today's show.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Then we'll be showing you
how to make

{\a1\pos(117,460)}your neighbor's house
turn into instant rubble,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}but that's in
the second segment.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now, I'll introduce my guests,
Tom Servo and Crow.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Thank you, thank you,
everybody,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and good day to you, Joel.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now, what we have here--

{\a1\pos(57,460)}can we pan over here
and get a little look at these?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Down here, it's called
the phantom creep.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now, it's been in use
for Great Britain for years,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but not a lot of people
in the States

{\a1\pos(96,460)}know anything about it.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Looks like kind of a spider.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, that's right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now, let's take a look
at this shirt here

{\a1\pos(138,460)}that we've prepared
ahead of time.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's been smeared
with axle grease,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}a little blood,
some chocolate,

{\a1\pos(183,460)}and a little
polychlorinated biphenyl.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, oh, I know
Cambot and I

{\a1\pos(96,460)}wouldn't want that
to happen to us.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( APPLAUSE )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Okay, so what
we want you to do

{\a1\pos(117,460)}is attach one of those
little disks there

{\a1\pos(54,460)}that you have in your hand.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- This disk?
That's it? I love it.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Okay, how much would you pay?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Uh, we're not there yet.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Okay, so we attach
the disk to the shirt,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and we bring in
our little phantom creep.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}There it goes.
Can you see?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Let me see.
There it goes.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- There it goes
right in there and--

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Ah!
- I love it!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- That's amazing, isn't it?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Okay, now, quickly, Joel.
- It's great.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Joel, Joel, now grab
that satellite dish there.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It's right behind you there.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- He's bending over.
He's grabbing the dish, yes.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- This is amazing, people,
absolutely amazing.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Okay.
- Now watch.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Now take the dish.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now rub some black dirt into it,
just some ordinary black dirt.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You can take it
right off the shirt there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- But this is-- I can't.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}This is the--
this is my satellite.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come on, you guys.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, it will be fine.
It's okay, I promise.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- But it's right off
the Satellite of Love. Okay.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- It's okay.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- All right, just like--
come on, just like that?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Now, everyone knows
the side facing the sun

{\a1\pos(117,460)}takes a real beating.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I mean, it's 4,000 degrees
out there.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The other side,
no sun over there.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}What happens
when I stand over here?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Mm, you're out of the sun?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- That's right.
It's ice cold over here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We take a little disk--
- Take one of those disks.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- --and put it
right in the center,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and here it comes.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Watch.
- You see? Ah!

{\a1\pos(162,460)}( APPLAUSE )
- Isn't that amazing, huh?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- That's fantastic!
Okay, I love it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}My heart says yes,
but my heart says how much?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Okay, now, Joel,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}if you were to sneak
into a mad scientist's lair

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and try to buy all this,
well, it would cost you

{\a1\pos(96,460)}well into the millions,
wouldn't it?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- That's right, Servo, right.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}The generic engineering alone

{\a1\pos(96,460)}would run hundreds
of thousands of dollars,

{\a1\pos(120,460)}not to mention
the arachno pyro techniques.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- All right, you know me.
I'm a hard sell.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on,
let's make a deal.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Make it better.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Okay, now, I'm glad
you asked us for that.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We're going to sweeten the deal
a little bit for you here.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Now, we're going to throw in
the napalm spider.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Uh-huh, uh-huh,
that's this right here, right.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- That's right.
- Now, is that jelly gasoline?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, it's not just
jelly gasoline, Joel,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but a highly effective
antipersonnel device.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Mm-hm, I see, okay.
But what's the deal?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}There are like three spiders.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, we've got
the napalm spider,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}the defoliant spider,
and mint.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- All right,
but can't you make it

{\a1\pos(12,460)}just a little bit better?
( APPLAUSE )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Come on, everybody,
back me up here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Come on, Joel.
Joel, we're businessmen.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- All right, all right,
all right,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'll tell you
what we're going to do,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}since you're
a friend of ours.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We're going to throw in--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}well, grab that tray down there,
will you?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Get the tray.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- My arms are inoperable,
so I can't grab it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- He's grabbing the tray.
There we go.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Okay, this right here,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}is this what
we're talking about?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Now, this, this--

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Looks like
a really big spider.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, that's the granddaddy
of all explosive spiders, Joel.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This one can take out
a whole city block.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now, where's that disk, Crow?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Well, Servo,
the amazing thing is

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I've slipped that lightweight
disk into Joel's pocket.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And this rocket
really is comfortable.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'll take it.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ha.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I like this phantom creep bit.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Reagan's deregulation
of television really pays off.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- If you've got
your charge card out,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'd like to get the,
uh, Snackmaster thing.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, as you know, Joel,

{\a1\pos(204,460)}the torture
never stops around here.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}That's what you get from
hanging out with guys like us--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}one more bad film.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
don't pass out on me now.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Go ahead,
put in the tape, Frank.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Taste my steel,
pasty boy, after this.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,68)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(180,68)}- Oh, boy.

{\a1\pos(138,68)}- Robert L. Lippert.

{\a1\pos(12,68)}- Armida, is that Spanish?

{\a1\pos(96,68)}- Spanish Armida?

{\a1\pos(12,96)}- Look, Smoki Whitefish--
sounds delicious.

{\a1\pos(96,96)}- Hm, Fred Colby,
the cheese magnate.

{\a1\pos(222,68)}Rudy Robles.

{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Zach Williams
as Sami and Chief Zabu.

{\a1\pos(141,96)}- Norman Cerf,
the best editor to come out

{\a1\pos(117,96)}of the agrarian feudal
collective system.

{\a1\pos(33,96)}- Hm, I'll have a Carl Berger.
- All right.

{\a1\pos(12,96)}- Original song, " There's
No One In My Heart But Me.".

{\a1\pos(54,68)}- By Dr. Christian Barnard.

{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Hm, Jo Pagano,
based on a pasta dish.

{\a1\pos(96,96)}- Jo Pagano was based on
an idea by William Stephens?

{\a1\pos(117,96)}- That's Rum Collins'
smarter brother.

{\a1\pos(285,68)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Mars, extending us a welcome.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, look, a Shriner.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I don't remember the name,
but the fez is familiar.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- So, anyway,
I'm flying one of those

{\a1\pos(12,460)}new flying carpets they've got,
and it's great.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Enjoy the only exterior shot.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Portugee Joe's.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Ha, they've got the west
grass skirt night.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Enjoy the fentoozler
and keep the cup.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Uh, Donner,
party of three, please.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- ♪ That summer night
I chanced to pass you by ♪

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ♪ I smiled at you ♪
- ♪ They smiled at you ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ♪ He smiled at me ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ♪ We all smiled
At each other ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ♪ We smiled ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- ♪ Ba-bum ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You know, that piano player
is not bad-- and the girl.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'll probably get her.
Dig it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ♪ You possess me
so completely ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mm-hm.
- Uh, excuse me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Are you our waitress?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'd like to order whatever
is on the wall over there.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- ♪ There's no one in my life ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Table dancing!
Table dance!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Whoa, whoa.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hey!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ♪ In your arms ♪

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Uh, she must be enforcing
the two-drink minimum, I guess.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We'd like our check.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ♪ Don't want to
But I do ♪

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- We've got to stop bringing
our business lunches here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Let me put my eye in.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}What, what is that you say?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What? I can't hear you.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hm?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Oh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, do you think
I could get a table

{\a1\pos(12,460)}in the no singing section?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Is that possible?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ♪ Or familiar ♪
- Olive.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- So, I was saying
to Brutus the other day--

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- ♪ Sharing so patiently ♪

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( MIKE AND BOTS COUGHING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ And when you return ♪

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- So, which navy is he in?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Uh, I think
he's a cab driver. Oh.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ♪ I'll burn your lips
with kisses ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Burn your lips?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Saigon,
I'm still in Saigon.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- ♪ There's no one in my heart
But you ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- ♪ And heartburn ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( APPLAUSE )
- Freebird!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Whipping post,
whipping post! Woo!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I was waiting for
three hours last night.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I did not tell you
I would be there.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- It's a really long song.
- Your eyes said you would.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Aw, but my lips did not.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- My dress said maybe,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}but my patella
gave a resounding yes.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- You're sweet,
but dangerous, Mr. Simpson.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Good, then
I'm making progress.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Incidentally, Yvonne,
let's stop being so formal.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}The name is Bob.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- When I stop being formal,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}then it will be
dangerous for you.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Oh!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Aha, check please.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I'll give you five minutes.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- For what?
- To start running.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- To have another drink.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, our boyfriend's here.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- I think you have company,
Mr. Simpson.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- And his hat
is more authentic.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Say, did you take my red
underwear with the big S on it?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- I thought
I'd find you in here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Do you realize we're supposed to
take off in 20 minutes?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Easy, son, easy.
Have a drink.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- We haven't got time.
- We don't fly for Northwest.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- What do you mean
we don't have time?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We've got all the time
in the world.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, I hate
when he says that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Take a look at that.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hm, look here,
two more pilots arrested.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hm, "Famous tennis star
becomes woman complete."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hm, ordained minister.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Will of Peter Vanderhorn,
multimillionaire diamond tycoon,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}was probated yesterday.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hm, sounds painful.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Provided for reward
of 5,000 pounds sterling

{\a1\pos(57,460)}for the discovery of his
daughter, Greta, dead or alive.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}She was returning home
by plane

{\a1\pos(33,460)}from an American finishing
school, the first day--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, no, no, no. When you
read it, do all the voices.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Last communication
from the navigator

{\a1\pos(12,460)}placed the plane somewhere over
the Zambezi territory.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}No word of the plane
or any of the passengers

{\a1\pos(117,460)}has ever been received.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Reading my horoscope.
- Well, so what?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Our business is flying
private passengers;

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and I don't want
to remind you, son,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}but two of them are
waiting for us right now.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Know what?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Right now,
we're out of business.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Ssss-- ow!
- Oh!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ow.
- Oh, oh!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Look, Mike, sit down.
- I am sitting.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- There's 5,000 pounds
reward there,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}which is about $20,000,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}for anyone who finds
Greta Vanderhorn,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and she doesn't
have to be alive.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You are whacky.
- I'm nutty.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'm JC Finklehoffer.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- What's been lost
can be found.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- If that were so,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}the plane would've been found
a long time ago.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- But they weren't able to
send out search planes

{\a1\pos(138,460)}while the war was on.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Now that restrictions
have been lifted,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}every broken down flyer
on the African coast

{\a1\pos(54,460)}will be taking off to look for
the wreckage of that plane,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and we're going to
get there first.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Who said anything about
getting there at all?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I did.
- Yeah, he did.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, I heard him.
- I hate to remind you, son,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}but you're only the junior
partner in this concern.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I know, Dad.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I happen to own three-quarters
of that crate, remember?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Uh, just as if you'd ever
let me forget it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Then, come on, Mike.
Time is of the essence.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, yeah, I know,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}just like your old ballet
teacher used to tell you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, I deserved that--
good one.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- We've got to load on
some extra tanks of gas.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}I think a little trip
in the jungle will do you good.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, I went
before we got here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Uh, he's with me.
Excuse us.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- There's a man
on the wing of the plane!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ah!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- What's a five-letter word
for rum and Diet Pepsi?

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- We should hit
Zambezi territory by morning.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Says you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Is that your hand?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hm.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I think we just flew
through a dissolve.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Wow, say, these View-Masters
really bring nature to life.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Look at that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That's irr-elephant.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, I see us up there.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Okay, boy scout,
how much longer

{\a1\pos(138,460)}do you intend to spend
on your good deed?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Now, I was
in the ballet division.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- It will be a good deed,
if we collect the reward.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- If we collect it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You mean those cookies?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Looking for that wreckage
is going to be like

{\a1\pos(159,460)}looking for a needle
in a haystack,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to coin a phrase.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Is that yours?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You go on and coin one,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and if it'll make you feel
any better.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Nothing's going to make me
feel any better

{\a1\pos(117,460)}until we're out of this.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Come on, Bob--
- Ah, come clean with me, Frank.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}Tell me
you haven't had the urge

{\a1\pos(180,460)}to ram this baby
into the ground.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, a petting zoo.
Now we're at the dells.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Mike!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hm?
- Mike, I think I see something!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Here, take a look.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hmph, yeah, that's neat.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, pop in another slide
for me, will you?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, could be.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Well, let's go down
and see.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Okay.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, turn back!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We're over Nebraska!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Did ancient astronauts
land here

{\a1\pos(117,460)}millions of years ago?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Bill, not a crash landing!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- No!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( MIKE AND BOTS SHOUTING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Horses and zebra.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, they had to land.
The rubber band is unwound.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You go ahead, Bob.
You're the boy scout.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ballet division.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Look, a tiger!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What, in Africa?
- Shhh!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, don't step
in the macumba.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Nice ensembles
for a couple of guys

{\a1\pos(96,460)}who can't remember
to gas up.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Now, how do you run this?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- How far away did you say
the wreckage is?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Uh, that's kind of personal.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, about a mile.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- North by northeast, right?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Mm, that was a good movie.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Keep your eyes peeled, Bob.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Remember, we're not
on the Rue de la Paix.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'll go one better.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'll take them clean
out of my sockets,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}if you'd like.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GROWLING )
- Hello, kitty cat.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Breath mint?

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Springtime,
when a young man's fancies

{\a1\pos(201,460)}likely turn to
thoughts of elephants.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hi, I'm Satan.
Enjoy the film.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You're wondering
how we can dominate this,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}aren't you, Mike?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Pretty nosy, kitty cat.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}it looks like they all
just got out of the shower.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, and they're
on a snipe hunt.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Who's got the bag?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They're on the same set
at least.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}They're all springtime fresh,
though.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}They're on a collision course
with a whole lot of trouble.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- No, I can't find
your ball anywhere.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}What are you playing,
a Schlesinger 5?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I think this hole
breaks to the left.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Did you hear something, Mike?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Wait a minute, Bob!
( GUNSHOT )

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I hope that's
an acceptable greeting.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Oops.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh, sorry, sorry, everyone.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Please, let's not bicker
over who shot who.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The important thing is that
we realize we made a mistake.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hm, good rifling.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Feels good in hand.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- This will be killing,
good killing stick.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Carbine, nice action.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You can't make me.
You can't make me!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( SERVO HUMMING TUNE FROM
"GILLIGAN'S ISLAND" )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, it's Ginger and Maryann.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hm.
- Mata Greta is beautiful.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Mata Greta hair,
very beautiful.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, look, stop kissing
up to me, okay?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Wanama, did you study
your spelling last night?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, dog ate it.
- Oh, yes, yes.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Good.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Then let me hear you spell,
uh, beautiful.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Let me hear you spell
patronize.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Beautiful.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Will this be on the final?
- Ah, yes, beautiful.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- S-l--

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- That's B--

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- A--
- E--

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- B--
- A--

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- E--
- U--

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- R-Y.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hm?
- T-I-F-U-L.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHTER )

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- That is wonderful.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Okay, now spell
antidisestablishmentarianism.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I, uh, think--
- Think.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Think.
- Think.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Stink?
- Think.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- What is this,
a Dr. Seuss book? Think!

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Beautiful,
more beautiful word of all.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHTER )

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Hair like
my best friend of all.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Thanks for playing.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sam, where's Quincy?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( SPEAKING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Uh, could you spell that,
please?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( SPEAKING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, second word.
- Is it a film?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Sounds like, uh--
- Play.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- How do you like that?
- I don't.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Doma.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Look, don't tell them
that we're white.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I didn't say Simon Says.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Okay, Simon Says.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Miss Vanderhorn, I presume.
- Oh, funny.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- You are not to speak
until you have been spoken to.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Say, what is this?
We know who you are.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You may have these natives
buffaloed, but--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Silence!
- Ooh.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}- Or perhaps you wish me
to turn you over to my subjects.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What, spelling?
- French?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Trey?
- Did you hear that, Mike?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Social studies?
- Subjects.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Shut up, Bob. You've got us
in enough of a jam as it is.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Nugara.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- What'd you call me?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I, I'm, I'm first native.
- What happened, Nugara?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- White devil kill Zulu.
- Fractured speech.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Make fire from long stick.
- Loose articles.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Big noise.
Zulu dead.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Ah, sorry,
wrong, wrong scene.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Uh, excuse me, pardon me.
I'll just step out.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You shot Zulu?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, well, we didn't
actually get his name.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- How was I to know?

{\a1\pos(78,460)}He came bouncing out
of the jungle with that spear,

{\a1\pos(267,460)}and I--
but I don't get this.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We came here to find you.
Maybe we made a mistake.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Maybe you did.
- A big one.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Certainly, it was a mistake

{\a1\pos(159,460)}when you killed Zulu
without justification.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Neither he nor any of the others
would have harmed you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}They would have
treated you like gods,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}which they thought you were.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- But I still don't get it.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}What do you care
what happened to that native?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I care very much.
- Doh!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I would suggest
that you be silent.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}The penalty for murder is
the same here as anywhere else.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, a plea bargain
to a suspended sentence.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Uh, not yet.
Uh, two more pages.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, just, uh, step back.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( MIKE AND BOTS REPEATING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Uh, maybe you wouldn't
mind telling me

{\a1\pos(159,460)}exactly what goes on
around here.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, we have activities,
craft making.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- A trial
will be conducted tonight

{\a1\pos(33,460)}to determine the innocence
or guilt of you and your friend.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- And now--
- Now, now.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, now it's your turn.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Let it out, man, yep.
Sing, baby, yeah.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Morty Gunty
appearing this weekend.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( DRUMS )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- And now,
ladies and gentlemen,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}the Tropicanda extends
a warm Las Vegas welcome

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to Mr. Gene Krupa!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Go, Gene, go.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Go, Gene, go.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Go, Gene, go.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Go.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Mata rules land.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Mata ruler.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I now pronounce you
man and, uh, man.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Huh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- My people have reached
a verdict.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You're to be extradited.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Since you had no part
in the murder of Zulu,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}and in fact tried to
prevent further violence--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You'll be deep fried.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You'll be permitted to return
to your plane safely.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- That's nice.
When?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- As soon as your friend's
sentence has been carried out.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- What do you mean,
my sentence?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- It is the will of my people

{\a1\pos(159,460)}that you be executed
on the first full moon.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Which will be
eight nights from tonight.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, that sounds fair,
but-- huh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- But you can't--
- Easy, Bob.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Your sentence
has been pronounced.{\r} -

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Look, Bob,
we'll appeal.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Just to be sure that
you do not attempt to escape,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}you will both remain guarded
until the execution.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Wow, we're already
pretty guarded.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Mata baru.
- Yeah, yeah, mata baru.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Mata baru!
- Okay, get on with it.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Sheez.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Boy, she really put the boot
to you back there, Bob.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I suppose we've got to tip.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I hate cops.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Had to get the hanging judge.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Well, I've been in
better jails in my life.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- That's nothing
to brag about, Bob.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You've got it over me--
first one I was ever in;

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and from the looks of things,
it's liable to be the last.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Yeah, well, what are you
worried about?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}They're not gonna execute you.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}I'm the one that got
the death sentence.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}How do you like that Greta
giving us the business?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You're right.
I feel great.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- The dame's gone native.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Don't squawk to me, Bob.
( MIKE AND BOTS SQUAWKING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It was your own idea,
remember,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}coming out here
to look for her.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We were doing all right
ferrying private passengers

{\a1\pos(117,460)}until you decided
that there were easier ways

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to make a living.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Boy, do I wish I was in
Portugee Joe's bar right now--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Maybe they've got
a microbrewery around.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- --hoisting up a long,
tall, cold one.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Yeah, well,
maybe we will yet.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Put that away.
- All right, all right.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}I'm not gonna use it
unless I have to.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's a lighter.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- I also managed to
hang onto our hand compass.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Oh, good.
- Good.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You're not gonna let me down,
are you, Mike?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Don't worry.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}We've got eight days
to figure a way out of this.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- We're in this together,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and we'll get out of it
together.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- But I'm the one
that shot that native,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and I'm the one
they're gonna execute.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Relax, will you?

{\a1\pos(225,460)}Like I said,
we're in this together.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Just kidding.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Uh, never mind.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Mata Greta
wants talk with you.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}No you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Here, have this.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I've gotta go
with Henry Silva here.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Give my love to Mata Greta.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Say, I wonder what Mata means.
- Hey, you've got a smart mouth.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- We've gotta split.
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Mata means white goddess.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Whoa.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- White goddess.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hey, Joel,
so what's the deal

{\a1\pos(12,460)}with those magic binocular
things we've been seeing?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, that's an old
cinematic device that,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}uh, filmmakers of old
used to use

{\a1\pos(54,460)}to kind of teach the viewer

{\a1\pos(117,460)}that they were looking
through binoculars,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}even though if you really look
through binoculars,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}it looks just like
a movie screen.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- And, uh, so then
they just run totally unrelated

{\a1\pos(12,460)}stock footage of animals, right,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}and not even
at the same altitude.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Or creatures not even
indigenous to the area.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yeah, right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}In fact, Cambot came all
set up with such things.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}They're called gobos,
if you want to see them.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Gobos are matte box effects
for film.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Okay, you want to try it?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Well, so we'll just sit here

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and act as the brunt
of your little visual joke?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, that's right.
- Okay.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Something like that.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay, this one is called
the binocular scope.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hey, get us.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We're a piece of
stock footage.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- All right, and this one
is the keyhole scope.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You know, you're the only man
for me, Servo.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, Crow.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- All right, this is the--
- Oh. ( MAKING KISSING SOUNDS )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- --high-powered scope, scope.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- And so the French
prime minister

{\a1\pos(54,460)}shall receive the quarter--
look out, look out!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, Sacre Bleu!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Okay, this is
the periscope scope.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I don't care how you do it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You must sink the Bismark.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And also the driving
Miss Daisy scope.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- We might as well be walking

{\a1\pos(117,460)}as driving this slow,
Miss Daisy.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Just watch
where you're going.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Okay, this here
is the, uh, microscope.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Uh, go ahead, Crow.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You can imitate a one-celled
animal better than I can.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I am an ameba.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Starting to look a bit more
like the Sammy Davis, Jr. scope.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, yeah.
- Okay, this is the--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- The candy man.
- This is the Lucy scope.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Ah, Ricky!
- Ah.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Turns out
I was never funny.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Okay, the small intestine
scope.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ooh, I feel so funky.
I need soothing and coating.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- That's what we feel like.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- This is the, uh,
Jose Feliciano scope there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}CROWChico,
don't get discouraged.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- All right, this is
the Family Circus scope.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Okay, who broke my vase?
- Not me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Okay, followed by
the jack-o-lantern scope.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Huh?
- The, uh, glaucoma scope.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- What?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And if you want to get
really fancy,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}you add the Family Circus scope
with the glaucoma scope

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and get the Hubble scope.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Okay, there's that, all right,
followed by the Pope scope.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- What?
- What?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- The scopes
monkey trial scope,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}otherwise known as
inherit the window-rama.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Huh?
- The ever popular nope scope.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, brother.
- Oh, come on.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Like that.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And finally movie sign-o-scope.
( BUZZER )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, movie sign!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SHOUTING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Leave us alone, Nugara.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, that binocular
syncs pretty good.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- That's really cool.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, Cambot had
something like that.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Come here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Spread out, Sabu.
Three's a crowd.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Sit down.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Can I order right away?
I'm really famished.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- The coast is clear.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Did my father send you
to find me?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Well, not exactly,
Miss Vanderhorn.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- What do you mean,
not exactly?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Your father's dead.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- And my mom?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Oops.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- When did he die?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Not quite a month ago.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- My partner shot him, too.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Well, I guess
you can throw that away.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, it just came
with the frame.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Queer-looking old duck.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Never lived to find out
what happened to me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh.
- Exactly what did happen?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Okay, here goes.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I was paging through
the dailies,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and I see an opening
for a jungle goddess.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I was a student
in college for girls,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}at Hastings on the Hudson.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Meanwhile, at stately
Wayne Manor--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Miss Harcourt's
School for Girls.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}GRETA: It was Sunday morning.
- Chicks on beds.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}GRETA:
September 1, 1939.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I was listening
to the radio

{\a1\pos(117,460)}with my roommate,
Helen Philips.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}VOICE ON RADIO: In general, the
world picture remains the same.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Although the threat of war is--
- She had a really deep voice.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}VOICE ON RADIO: One moment,
please, ladies and gentlemen.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I've just been handed
a teletype.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Prime Minister
Neville Chamberlain

{\a1\pos(54,460)}has just addressed Parliament,
and I quote his exact words,

{\a1\pos(285,460)}quote--
- Help!

{\a1\pos(120,460)}VOICE ON RADIO: I am
( indistinct ) to inform you

{\a1\pos(138,460)}that unless the German
government suspends

{\a1\pos(138,460)}all aggressive actions
against Poland

{\a1\pos(33,460)}not later than 11:00 a.m.
British summer time,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}September 3rd,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}His Majesty's government will,
without hesitation,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}fulfill its obligations
to Poland.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Unquote.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, that's good, Helen.
Now try opening with a joke.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- What are you doing
that for, Greta?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I don't want to hear anymore.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Do you realize this means war?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Those morning zoo guys
just grate on me.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- So what?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}This is the United States,
remember?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Who cares what's going on
in Europe?

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- I'm rich
with no political standing.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I'm sorry, Greta.
I forgot you're Dutch.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, that's all right.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I'll have to see
Miss Harcourt.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- What are you going to do?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I'm going to take
the first plane home,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}if I can make reservations.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- But why?
You're safe here.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- That's beside the point.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I don't want to be stuck here
for the duration.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}And if the war breaks,
well, maybe I'll be a nurse.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}My first aid course
might come in handy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, it sounds like
a lot of kooky fun.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We'll put on a show;

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and once the B2
turns into guava jelly,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'll still be alive.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- Johannesburg
is in a British dominion.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}If war breaks, well,
I, I want to be with my father.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Averell Harriman?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- It's Adolphe Menjou.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, I think so.
Boris Karloff?

{\a1\pos(99,460)}GRETA:
After considerable red tape{\r} ,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}I was able to catch a plane
for Lisbon.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- We went on some bombing raids
over central Europe.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- We took the most direct route
to South Africa.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It was not easy
to make arrangements

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to continue my journey.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hm, it's a mobile home.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- The war had brought
a great deal of confusion.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Filled with La-Z Boys.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Plane reservations
were scarce;

{\a1\pos(204,460)}however,
I was finally successful

{\a1\pos(57,460)}and was able to board
another plane for Johannesburg.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}At last, I was on my way
to join my father.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- We're on our way!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- In order to reach
Johannesburg,

{\a1\pos(78,460)}it was necessary to fly
over the dense African jungle.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And do a lot of
voiceover work.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I was engaged
in a conversation

{\a1\pos(33,460)}with a very lovely woman.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- That I didn't like.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Of course, they will be called
( indistinct ) first.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Uh-huh.
- Seems so strange.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Their father was killed
in the last war.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- That's great.
- Yeah, that's great.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now put a sock in it,
will you, granny?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ( indistinct )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, when you've lived
as long as I have, child,

{\a1\pos(225,460)}you'll find
it never pays to worry.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I used to worry terribly
about everything.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Little things
and big things.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Orange things
and paisley things.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- What on earth
is the matter with you?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}We all--
- Yeah, sure.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, my skull's
starting to hurt.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Could you clam up?

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Hey, what is this,
the airplane of Dr. Caligari?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, the captain and I
are out of drinks.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Ladies and gentlemen,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}we've just received word
over the wireless

{\a1\pos(54,460)}that His Majesty's government
has declared war on Germany.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- So, it's happy hour
until we land!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( CHEERING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- We shall make every attempt
to reach Johannesburg

{\a1\pos(201,460)}as per schedule.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- That ought to hold them.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, it's come.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- May the Lord have mercy
on us all.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, I think He does,
except for you.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Stop her!
She's got a gun!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- She's got a gun!
- Look out!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I think you'll all
want to join me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- ♪ It's a dance of death death
It's a dance of death ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- ♪ God save the queen. ♪

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- I figured on seeing Betty
and the kids for Christmas.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What about your wife?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I wonder how long
it'll be now.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}At least I can send him

{\a1\pos(159,460)}a picture of his dad
in an RAF uniform.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Instead of that darned dress.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Meanwhile
in yet another plane--

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Uh-oh.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Uh, when you stopped for fuel,
did you-- huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, we're in trouble.
How's the model doing?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Not too good.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Uh, when you were
in flight school,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}did they teach you
how to scream?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- So, you want to tell them
or should I?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Uh-oh.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- She's dropping fast.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'd better go
warn the passengers

{\a1\pos(201,460)}to fasten
their safety belts.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Yeah, like
that's gonna help.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Airport 42.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Uh, Steve,
uh, never mind.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}I've got it.
Oh, kind of my fault, sorry.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sorry.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}GRETABy some miracle,
I was the only survivor.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- By some plot contrivance.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}GRETAWhen I came to,
it was morning.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I didn't know where I was
or how I was going to get help.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Thanks to my Halston,
I still looked fabulous!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}GRETA: I started wandering
through the jungle,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}trying to get back
to civilization.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I found that travel
really broadens you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I met neat people
like Roddy McDowall;

{\a1\pos(57,460)}and, you know,
it's really true what they say.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ooh, that monkey
gave me such a chill.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Well, you know what I think
what this forest needs

{\a1\pos(138,460)}is a woman's touch.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There I was, surrounded
by salad fixings for miles

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and no mandarin orange
vinaigrette in sight.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hey, toots,
it's me, Satan.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Catch you later, you know?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Suddenly, there I was

{\a1\pos(183,460)}in front of
a rear projection screen.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}You know
how I hate those.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( GROWLS )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SCREAMS )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I screamed, and that seemed
to help our relationship.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, darn.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, what a bad time
to break a heel.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Then I came upon
a sanitary landfill.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I knew civilization
must be near.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}GRETA: It wasn't long after
I started through the jungle

{\a1\pos(138,460)}that I was confronted
by a group of natives.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I was really frightened then.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Uh, you can't tell
from this shot, but I was.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}GRETA: But suddenly
they started to kneel

{\a1\pos(33,460)}in an attitude of worship.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I didn't know why,
but I felt safer.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}So, mustering my courage--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I began kicking them
repeatedly.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Take me to your village.
- Huh?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Did you get that?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Take me to your village.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- She thinks we speak English.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hey, sister,
don't give me any crap.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You take me--
- Me take you--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Your village, village.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh, you want us to take you
to our village, oh.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ah.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Mm, I'm perplexed but charmed
by this plucky stranger.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We eat tonight.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Upsy-daisy.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( SPEAKING GIBBERISH )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What's going on?
Somebody drop a contact?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Here, let me help you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You really caught us
at a bad time.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}All of our suits
are out at the cleaners,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and it gets kind of
randy around here

{\a1\pos(96,460)}when all the women
are away, you understand.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( SPEAKING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, here's the first
problem.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}She's covered with fur.
Get me a razor.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}RETA: She was a very sick girl;
and only then did I realize

{\a1\pos(159,460)}that they wanted me
to help her.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I stared at her;
that seemed to help.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Does this story
have a point?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- When Wanama recovered,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}the natives were sure
that I was a goddess.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}When Chief M'benga died,

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oolonga,
the witch doctor,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}tried to poison the natives
against me,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}but he wasn't successful.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Well, do they still believe
that you're a goddess?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, that's another
flashback.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- If they thought
I was deceiving them,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oolonga the witch doctor
would make short work of me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Aha, I'm beginning to
get all this now.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Good.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- But why did you have Bob
sentenced to death?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You don't think
I intended to

{\a1\pos(117,460)}carry that sentence out,
do you?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We did.
- I was counting on it.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- I was only
stalling for time.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Smart girl.
- You little minx.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- I sort of figured that you
were just putting on an act.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I had to do it.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}If the natives thought
otherwise, we'd all be dead.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Well, that gives us
just seven days

{\a1\pos(159,460)}to get out of here.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Your plane,
is it all right?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, it's terrific.
- Yes, in a little clearing

{\a1\pos(117,460)}about a mile from where
your plane crashed.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah, must be
the accident zone.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Trust me.
Obey my every command,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}no matter how strange
it might seem.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, wow.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I'll find a way for
the three of us to escape,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}though I'm not so sure
your friend deserves it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I don't like him.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, Bob's all right--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}a little trigger happy,
perhaps, but he's all right.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I don't like him.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, Bob's all right--
a little trigger happy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( BEATING DRUMS )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- What is that?
- Must be the late show.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Now, would it be
crass of me

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to say the natives
are restless?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- It's the dance of death.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, well, that's cute.
- Not so cute.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oolonga's working the natives up
into a frenzy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What's the snake for?
- Nastassja Kinski.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- The snake is Oolonga's
pet executioner.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- You mean he--
- It's a very torturous death.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}The poison works very slowly,
and it's horrible.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Kind of sounds like
the plot of this movie.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Tommy Tune
and Morris Cunningham.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I think you'd better go now.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We don't want to arouse
any suspicion.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Speak for yourself.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I'll see you again tomorrow.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}There's so much I want to
talk to you about--

{\a1\pos(33,460)}everything that's happened
in the last six years.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- It must've taken
a great deal of courage

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to stick this out
for six years.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Hm.
- Goodnight, white goddess.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Goodnight.
And don't worry.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Nugara!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Uh, is the courtesy van ready?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Nugara, take this man back;
but, remember,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}no harm must come
to either of them.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We must fulfill the law.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yes, Mata Greta.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Kill him, kill him!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I can't believe
he went for it-- chump.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Now, Calgon, take me away!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( BEATING DRUMS )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- They say
it's never a rock video

{\a1\pos(12,460)}until they burn something.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( MIKE AND BOTS
DOING NATIVE CHANT )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Catchy tune, isn't it?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Maybe that snake
probably had it.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- What's going on out there?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Seems like the witch doctor
is having a little party.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Uh, am I invited?
- Some party.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- It's the dance of death.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, could you tell them
to turn the bass down?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I can't sleep.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- That was incredible.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Was I dreaming,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}or was there a dance of death
going on last night?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- She liked the color
of my eyes better.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- She must like something.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- What do you mean
by that crack?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- How do I know you two aren't
cooking up something together?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, you know I can't cook.
- Meaning what?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Meaning there's
5,000 pounds reward

{\a1\pos(138,460)}for little Mata Greta.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}If you two
get out of here alone,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}you won't have to
split the reward with me.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Hey, good idea!
- I ought to crush your skull!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Ah, it's been crushed.
I'm sorry, Mike, I'm sorry.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This place is giving me
the heebee-jeebees.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, and I thought
they sprayed.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- --if I don't get out of here.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Yeah, yeah, I guess I know
how you feel.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}But like I said, we'll
get out of this together.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, good, my clams casino.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Mata Greta said--
- Charge it to the room.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- --you come eat with her now.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, thank you.
- All right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, that's my date.
I'll see you later.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- So long, sucker.
- This for you.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- How about you and I

{\a1\pos(12,460)}cooking up something ourselves,
good looking?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hey, there's
an Inuit pole out here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Different strokes,
you know?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hello.
- How.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Tell me, where are
all your subjects headed for?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- They're going out
after wild antelope.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}They leave early so that they
can be back before dark.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}They don't like
the jungle at night.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- But I do.
- Oh, won't you sit down?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, thank you,
white goddess.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Thank you, white racist.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- It's been a long time
since anyone called me Greta.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- All right, Greta.
- Hey, buttermilk biscuits.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, how does it look?
- Cheapo.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Oh, well, tell me
what it is first.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, it isn't
what you might think.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I assure you that the natives
here are not cannibals.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- The Scottish call it haggis.
Well, that's a relief.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Did you cook it yourself?
- Goddesses don't cook.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}What I wouldn't give
for a hamburger

{\a1\pos(222,460)}and some nice
French fried potatoes.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mm-hm.
- That's right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You went to school
in the States, didn't you?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}You're an American,
aren't you?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Mm-hm.
I'm from Colorado.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}And speaking of hamburgers,
I could go for one myself.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}You see, I haven't been home
in three years.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Greta, do you mind
if we start right in?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'm so hungry,
I could eat a horse.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, you're in luck!
- Sure.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Huh?
- Don't worry.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Here, they call it zebra.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's not only edible,
but, uh, quite delicious.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- All right, if you say so.
- Hm, dark and white meat.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Very tasty.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh, white devil on fire!

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Oh, no, wait, wait, wait.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No, uh, white devil
just having a Kent.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Not quite yet.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You're not from
around here, are you?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hey, you speak
pretty good English.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, sure, Mata Greta
teach me everything.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Sure, you got money GI Joe?
- Me very smart.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Did Mata Greta
tell you that, too?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Oh, sure.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}She no tell me
what smart means.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Uh, means you're stacked.
- You tell Wanama.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Well, it, uh--
- Um.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- --means sort of like a--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, it's just different,
that's all!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Dumb.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Dumb.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Very beautiful, dumb.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Thought you'd like it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Now get out of here!
- You eat now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You still here?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Why everybody says
you white devil?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Because I kill
indiscriminately.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You're very, very nice.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Get me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sentenced to death,
and I'm still making time.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yeah, I'm pretty cool.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Don't nobody move.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- It's hard to believe
that the war lasted so long.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- If it hadn't been
for the atomic bomb--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}tell me, Greta.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Didn't you ever
try to get out of here?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I used to dream
my way out, Mike.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I would take the magic trolley
or click my heels together.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- I used to dream about home
every night.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}MIKE: And after that?
- Oh, I gave up dreaming.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It was hopeless to try
and penetrate the jungle.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- I used to have the natives
take me out

{\a1\pos(138,460)}on what you might call
hunting expeditions,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}but they led nowhere.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Then I just had a hamburger
with some French fried potatoes.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}GRETA:
I know.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And my only hold on them

{\a1\pos(117,460)}depends on their belief
that I'm a goddess.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- And so Leona Helmsley's
empire was built.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- --if we're to get
out of here alive.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- You must tell Bob
not to make any false moves.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Like killing people.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}GRETA: He's got to be patient
until tomorrow morning.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Are you sure
you can trust Wanama?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}GRETAWanama would do
anything for me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Wanama's phenomenal.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- She's the only one I can trust
to lead us out of the jungle.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Bob has a hand compass.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- And some
French fried potatoes.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- That will come in handy, too,
in case anything goes wrong.

{\a1\pos(225,460)}I, uh, think
you'd better leave now.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You always say
something like that

{\a1\pos(162,460)}just when I'm
beginning to enjoy myself.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Then I've gotta wait a few
minutes before I can leave.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- It's best.
- Well, that's life.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Here, what is this?
Where'd you get this?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Wanama made it for me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hm, world's greatest grandma.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, where did Wanama
get the stuff

{\a1\pos(138,460)}she carved this from?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- On the outskirts
of the village.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Why?
- Why?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Wanama's working through
a lot of pain, isn't she?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Do you know what this is?
No, I guess you don't.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}I saw something
just like this in Colorado.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Well, what is it?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Unless I'm crazy,
it's chronatite.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Of course, that wouldn't mean
anything to you, either.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Chronatite
is stuff that they use

{\a1\pos(117,460)}in the manufacture
of atomic energy.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Saps all your power,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}if you're a visitor
from a foreign planet.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Are you serious?
- Of course, I'm serious.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Look, Bob knows a lot
about this kind of thing.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Do you mind
if I show it to him?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Not if you want to.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, you can take
target practice on it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- If it is chronatite,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}we'll organize
our own expedition

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and come back for it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Provided we get
out of here alive, Mike.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- ♪ Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hm, tastes like grandpa.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's chronatite all right.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You sure?
- I'd stake my life on it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- That's already
in the kitty, Bob.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I don't know
what it means to you,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}but personally I've had my eye
on a ranch in Colorado

{\a1\pos(117,460)}ever since I was a kid.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hm.
- Oh, yeah, like I care.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Nugara is still on guard.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Our best chance is to make
a break for it just before dawn.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Oh, wait a minute.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Greta's worked out
a plan for us.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, when did you start
calling her Greta?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- She told me
to call her goddess.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- There's no
getting through that jungle

{\a1\pos(33,460)}without being slowed down
by a dame.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Well, if we get through--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and I doubt very much
if we can--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oolonga would be a cinch
to blame her.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Have you ever
stopped to think

{\a1\pos(117,460)}what those natives
might do to her?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, yeah.
- So what?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}That's her lookout.
She's the white goddess.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}She can figure
a way out of this.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Supposed they kill her?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We don't have to
bring her back alive

{\a1\pos(138,460)}to collect the reward.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}And besides,
that's peanuts

{\a1\pos(222,460)}alongside what
we'll collect on this.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, your horns
are showing, Bob.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Where are you going?
- I'm taking this back to Greta.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Bob, I'm going to be kind
to you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I'm going to put you to sleep.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- The spot you're on
has twisted your mind.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Nobody can be
that much of a heel!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- But I can.
- I can; really, I can.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Sure, you can.
- No, I can, really.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I am a heel.
- How about a heel like he is?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Why are they looking at me?
Get that camera off of me.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I'm a heel.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- We'll be back
right after this.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I'm still a heel.
- Such a heel.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- I appreciate the fact
that I can't leave this hole,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but is there any reason
why I can't have some water?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Water?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- If it isn't
too much trouble.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Wanama.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Bring white devil water.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Water.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Yeah, bring a lot of it,
and don't forget the ice.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Ice?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Skip it.
- Skip it?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- And, Wanama, bring it inside.
- Inside?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- It's hotter than blazes
out here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Blazes?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I've arranged to send
all the natives out

{\a1\pos(138,460)}on hunting expeditions
early tomorrow morning.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}That will enable us
to travel by daylight.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- What about Nugara?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- You'll have to tie him up,
but I don't want him hurt.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Understand?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You mean
you don't trust him?

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Oh, I don't dare.
After all, he is a Zambezi.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}These natives are very
peculiar and childlike.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- They don't even shoot things
they don't understand.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- even if he knew
what we were up to.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Well, what makes you think
you can trust Wanama?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Oh, I know I can.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}After all, she's been
my constant companion

{\a1\pos(222,460)}for six years.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Tell me, Wanama.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}You know the jungle
pretty well, don't you?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, I get around.
- Oh, sure.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Are you really an astronaut?
- Me very dumb.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I guess you are at that.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}Did you ever wonder
where Mata Greta came from?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Ah, she's a temp, right?
- The gods sent Mata Greta.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Is that what she told you?
- Oh, no, but me know.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Everybody know.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You love Mata Greta
very much, don't you?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Oh, sure.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Everybody love Mata Greta.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Then you'd want to help her,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}if she needed you,
wouldn't you?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Help Mata Greta?
- Come on, get to the point!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Cut to the chase!
( indistinct ) Mata Greta?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- It will,
if we don't help her.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Okay, what about the rifles.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I, uh, I had to
have them destroyed.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}The natives thought
they were weapons of evil.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Heh-heh, they're kind of cute,
so leave me.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yes, the jungle is infested
with wild animals.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Ha, so am I?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Well, if we should
get in a spot,

{\a1\pos(141,460)}you can always exert
your powers, white goddess.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh-ho, that's rich.
Kill him.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Mike, do you think
you could get

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Bob's revolver
away from him?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}I don't trust him.
- No, he'd never give it up.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Then we'll just have to
take our chances.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Now, don't worry.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm the man of steel,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}stop bullets,
the whole nine yards.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- You know,
it would serve him right,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}if we'd turn him over

{\a1\pos(120,460)}to the tender mercies
of Oolonga the witch doctor.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Here, here,
we couldn't do that.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Let me just
patronize you a bit.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You know, Mike, I think
you're absolutely right.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}He's undoubtedly
become unbalanced

{\a1\pos(117,460)}by all that's happened.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, he's not thinking
as clearly

{\a1\pos(12,460)}as when he shot that guy.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- We'll have to watch him
very closely.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Relax, goddess, relax.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- What's the matter, Wanama?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah, kitten,
why the long face?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Me want to talk
Mata Greta alone.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- That's all right.
You may speak.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}He's our friend.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- He friend white devil, too.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Please, Mata Greta, Wanama
want to speak with you alone!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- What's the matter Wanama?

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- I have a feeling
this concerns the both of us.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hm.
- What happened, Wanama?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Were you with white devil?

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Or should I get out
the anatomically correct doll?

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- Are you afraid
to tell me what happened?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Please, me want to talk
Mata Greta alone.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Mata Greta wants you
to speak now.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Get on with it, please!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- White devil want me
take him through jungle.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Alone?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- He say that way
we help Mata Greta,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}but Wanama don't believe.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- You didn't tell him
you were coming here, did you?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, no.
Wanama, Wanama dumb.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wanama dumb--
doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Wanama dumb--
doo-doo-doo-doo.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Be careful, Mike.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- So, did you do it?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mata Greta.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Mata Greta love him?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Isn't there a magazine
devoted to this?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}MIKE:
I'll take that, Bob.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Are you daffy?
- No, I'm Porky.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You're Daffy.
Remember?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I don't think so.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We're pulling out
tomorrow morning,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}and Greta and I both decided
that it would be better

{\a1\pos(33,460)}if I packed the artillery
on this little safari.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Yeah, see?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Oh, you and Greta decided,
did you?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well, you go on back to Greta
and do some more deciding.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, says you.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- This is my piece of iron,
and I'm going to keep it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Give me that.
- 1942!

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Man of steel, huh?
Phone this in to Perry White.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Now I'm packing the rod.
- That's right.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Get up, ooh,
off of the table, oh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Visitor from
another planet-- hey!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ugh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- For being mortal man--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}oh, you've got a little
on your chin there.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, I think you can--
- I don't want to do this.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- All this Pier One stuff
collapses.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, look! They have
collapsing furniture.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Looks so real.
- Bite you.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mata Greta!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(120,460)}Mata Greta,
( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Gwano hit fan!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ooh.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Oh!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I will kill you!
I will kill him!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Faster than a speeding-- oh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, right, more powerful
than a wimp.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GUNSHOT )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, great, that's twice
in the same week.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- You fool.
- I didn't mean it, sweetie.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I just winged him.
- It was an accident.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, great,
now he's got a line.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( SPEAKING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He's never gonna
like you now, Bill.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Off to deliver more flowers.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Nothing can stop Oolonga.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}He's going after the hunters.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We'll have to start now
without Wanama,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}before Oolonga
reaches the tribe.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You're not gonna go
without me.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- We should leave you here,
but come on.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Go to my place and wait.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- She's just gotta pack
a few things.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Okay, Greta.
Come on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Come on, Junior.
Let's get off this picture.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Besides, I want to get home
and shoot holes in Gary.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}Mata Greta.
( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Greta give him
a new heart sac.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yeah, yeah,
bathe it in cool water,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}put a poultice on it.
I've gotta beat cheeks.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You take care of him
just as I've taught you.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Mata Greta must leave now.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}They will take me back
where I came from.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Mata Greta
no come back to Wanama?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I don't know.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}You be a good girl, Wanama,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and remember everything
I've taught you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- How to make
the scene darker?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'll remember everything
you've taught me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I've gotta blow.
See ya.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mata Greta.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Nobody taught anybody to act.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hm.
- Skipper!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Little buddy!
- Skipper!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hey, Bob,
there's a living thing.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Why don't you swing
into high and kill it?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Skipper!
- Little buddy!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Skipper!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hey, Bill,
when you were a kid,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and, uh, you got pets,
did you kill them?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And, hey, what did happen
to your sister, anyway?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mata Greta!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( SPEAKING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( BEATING DRUM )

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- Oh, no, no,
I didn't say start the band.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SHOUTING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, we eat tonight.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, you never saw
that tree before.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You want to kill it, Bob, huh?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- We've gotta get out of here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Why don't we just
set a whole torch--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}torch the whole continent, Bob.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Would you like that, huh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- The witch doctor
is gathering the tribe.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We'd better hurry!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( ALL SHOUTING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- What in the same scratch
is that noise?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Sounds like a mosquito
about the size of your head

{\a1\pos(96,460)}just got sucked in
through the access ports.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, don't be absurd.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}A mosquito couldn't live
in a vacuum.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, there's a ship
coming into range.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, Cambot, give us
rocket number nine.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Let's see what it looks like.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, that's no mosquito.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The British stopped using those
at the end of the war.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hey, look,
something's coming in

{\a1\pos(54,460)}on the Hexfield view screen.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( GUNSHOTS FROM TOY GUN )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Would you stop that?
Stop it!

{\a1\pos(36,460)}We're not sure
if we don't understand them yet.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Sorry, sorry.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Hey, what do you guys want?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We want to shoot you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( GUNSHOTS FROM TOY GUN )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Stop that!
Stop it!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You can't shoot
through a view screen.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, sorry, sorry.
Let me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Uh, hello, greetings,
insignificant life forms.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We come bearing gifts,
beads, trinkets,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Coke bottles,
accessories.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- And bullets.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GUNSHOTS )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Joel, what the heck
do they want?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Actually, our needs
are rather simple.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I, uh, bought a little,
brought a little list.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Uh, uh, all we need is, uh--
ah, here it is--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}mineral rights, women,
property, scalps,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}food, clothing.
It's the standard list.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, and also we want
the cute one's head,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}if we could.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Uh, that must be you, Joel.
- Yeah, definitely Joel.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, quiet, you guys.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We're talking to an alleged
higher life form,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}whatever that means.
- That's us.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GUNSHOTS )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Right now, if you could just
pop that stuff over to our ship,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}we'd greatly appreciate it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, I brought a little treat
for you, too.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Uh, the magic fire stick.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ooh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Also the ball in the cup
trick, uh--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- We also brought VD, smallpox,
and, uh, the widow maker.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GUNSHOTS )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Stop that, you idiot!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Now, Mr. Joel.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeah?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You are a white man with
strange-looking slave types.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Why haven't you
exploited them yet?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Or at least shot them.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GUNSHOTS )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, listen, you two.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}These two slave types
happen to be my friends,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and I don't know
where you two get off

{\a1\pos(180,460)}waltzing around
geosynchronous orbit

{\a1\pos(138,460)}trying to throw your
white male weight around.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You've got another think coming.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're messing with
the Satellite of Love.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeah.
- I see.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Did you enjoy the taurine?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}The radicchio
was picked fresh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Kill them.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GUNSHOTS )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, brother.
- I will kill them!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Man, we've gotta stop
giving our address out.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah.
- You know that?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh!
- Hold it.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}What's the matter, Greta?
- I've twisted my ankle.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Oh, come on.
Now, let me get this straight.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You survived in the jungle
for six years,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and now you're telling me
you just sprained

{\a1\pos(96,460)}your entire ankle
on a piece of moss?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Get real.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, she threw a shoe.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That means I'm gonna
have to shoot her.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yep.
- That's Bob's department.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That's all we need.
- That's all we need!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We're going to have to
slow down for her.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Got any ideas?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, it's just my watch.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It growls
at the top of the hour.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, Jerry, hey, would you
hand me that Brannock device?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Okay, now, this is a nine,
and I already have it in a ten.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Snuggy, Snuggy!
- Ooh.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Whew.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You'd better rest there
for a few minutes more, Greta.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- A few minutes more?
- A few minutes more?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- It'll be dark pretty soon,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and we're a long ways
from the plane.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- We're going
just as fast as we can,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and that's just as fast
as we're gonna go.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- He's right, Mike.
We've got to get going.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh, shut up!
I'll have to be all right.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Well, then,
come on, let's go.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Come on.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Okay, Galahad,
get moving.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Don't you ever call me
Galahad again, ever.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Meanwhile, in an equally
racist Tarzan movie

{\a1\pos(180,460)}across the way--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, you, ho-daddy,
surf's up.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, cool leopard.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I wonder if it's deaf.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( LEOPARD GROWLING )
( BOTS SHOUTING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Decent dude.
- Def Leopard.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Peace, man.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Can't we stop?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Sure.
- Just a minute.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hold it.
- I am.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I haven't seen a port-a-potty
in ten miles.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- There we go.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Here, just sit on this
conveniently placed stump.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- All right?
- Mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}May I have some water?
- Sure.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- White goddess
having trouble?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- White fascist getting smart?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- You're gonna make
one wise crack too many,

{\a1\pos(36,460)}and then you're not gonna feel
like making anymore wise cracks.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, and if we keep
stopping for her,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}we won't make any cracks,
wise or otherwise.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ooh, good one.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You've gotta go
one without me, Mike.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Are you serious?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Yes, there's still
a chance for you two;

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and if Oolonga and the natives
catch up with me,

{\a1\pos(120,460)}maybe I'll still have
enough power to save myself.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hm, okay, bye.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Why not do
as she says, Mike?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}They won't harm her.
She's the white goddess.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}She can bluff
her way out of it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's our only chance.
- Forget it.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- But how are you--
- I said forget it!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Forgotten, sir.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- They haven't
caught us so far.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}We'll just keep
our fingers crossed.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}Atta girl.
It'll be dark pretty soon.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}If we're gonna
get out of here alive,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}we'll have to use our heads.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}So, if you've got any ideas,
now's the time to spill them.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- Up to now, my ideas
haven't carried much weight.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}So, I'll leave it
to you two masterminds.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Mm-hm.
- Okay, I had that one coming.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Well, there's only
one thing we can do.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}We'll never make it
through the jungle at night.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We'll have to build a fire
to keep the animals away

{\a1\pos(159,460)}and stay close to it
until dawn.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Are you crazy?

{\a1\pos(36,460)}That's all we need is a fire
to tell the locals where we are.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oolonga and the natives

{\a1\pos(75,460)}will be doing the same thing
we're doing.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, that's what
I was thinking, you know.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Building a fire and staying
close to it for safety.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- How do you know they will?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- I know their superstitions
and their fears.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, I would--
hey, I'm talking here!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And there on handle
was spear.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Ooh.
- No, really.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, where the hell
is the MGM one?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've got a film to make.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- You think
you've got problems?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm opening for
Siegfried and Roy.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I hate Mondays.
- Hey, wait for me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I've got a cameo
in this film.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Wait up!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You think Mellencamp
is a dumb name?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Really?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- So there on the handle
was a hook.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Ooh.
- No, really.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Why don't you try to get
some sleep, Greta?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'm not tired.
- Are you kidding?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You're so tired,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}you're about ready
to come apart.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Well, maybe I am,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}but I could sit up all night
talking about home.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Tell me some more, Mike.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Ooh, you are hungry.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- About everything
that's Pearl Harbor.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}What else would you
like to know?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I just love listening
to their voices.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- What kind of hats
are the women wearing?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hats?
- Uh-huh.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Why would you ask me
a thing like that?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}How would I know anything
about women's hats?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}I never look at their hats.
- Their underwear, yes.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Anyway, are they cute?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Greta, they're hats,
you know.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Oh, don't pretend
you haven't worn any, Reeves.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I can't tell you
anymore than that.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}You know something?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- What?
- Hats.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- They'd look
all right on you.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Hey, you guys.
Why don't you get some sleep?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}What are you talking about?
- Hats.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Hats.
- Hats.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Hats.
- Hats.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Hats.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Mm, golly, it'll be good
to get back to a good hot tub.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Maybe sooner than you think.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Get some sleep.
- Boom!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- What about you?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'll keep an eye
on our boyfriend over there.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- He's your boyfriend.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}You're the one
who invited the boss angle.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( MONKEY CHATTERING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, quit laughing back there.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( SIGHS )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Uh, say, Bill,
don't look now.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I think your kneecaps
are on fire.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Here, my little rag doll.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Did you leave
a wake-up call?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Well, I'm off.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The jungle extending me
a welcome.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Heh- heh-heh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- He's really a good man,
and tomorrow is another day.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Uh, well, I think
I'll just burn this, uh,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}drive-in bank canister here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hmph.
- Smells good.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- So, every time
I eat a burger,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}an acre of this stuff
disappears?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I don't get it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm, uh, ready again.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Watch that hand.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Look out, he's got a gun!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, sorry.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, pipe down.
This is the smoking section.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Bob, Mike, please,
this isn't getting us anywhere.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Please!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- What the heck
is going on here?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Go away, they're asleep.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}They wake up, they're beating
the cheese out of each other.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Must be the heat.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Now, I'll just take these
things and get out of here.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Whoa, Mike,
he really kicked your butt.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mike, Mike.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- That could've been
on pay per view.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, no, shouldn't have
stopped for breakfast.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You had to order
French fried potatoes.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( GRUMBLING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}My fault.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hm? Where is he?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- He's gone.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}And the gun
and the compass?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- They're gone, too.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- We'll never find the plane
without that compass!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I'll rub you on a rock,
and you'll magnetize.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Let's go.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- He went through those bushes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, could you be
a little more vague?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Let's go.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Is it all right for me to say
he took his pit helmet?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Uh, yes.
But not now.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Crickets,
I hear crickets.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Big crickets!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Hm?
- Oh!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GUNSHOT )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Take that.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Don't forget to limp.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah.
- How's the ankle?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, all right.
- Good girl.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- Keep hobbling,
or I'll have to chew it off.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You know, I'd really
like to get a hold

{\a1\pos(96,460)}of that Gary Larson guy
once and for all.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You ever get pieces of flesh
caught in your teeth?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I hate that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Mm, fresh tracks,
and one of them is limping.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( SPEAKING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- Hey, wait for us.
They wouldn't take our visa.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- What the heck?
Duh!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, I forgot to wind
my compass.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now I'm really gonna be late.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Geez, I hope none of
my friends see me with her.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hi, it's me again.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Hope you're enjoying the show,

{\a1\pos(141,460)}brought to you
by our friends at Hub West.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- If this is a first date,
you don't mind

{\a1\pos(12,460)}if I don't call you again,
do you?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, my ankle.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's hot,
and it hurts and stuff.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- No, we've got to keep going.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}If he gets too far ahead,
we'll never find him.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I have a confession to make.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We lost the trail
four miles back.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Look, Greta.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}- Oh, heck,
that could be anybody's.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- We're on the right track.
Come on.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, that's great, Mike.
What else can we do with it?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Are we still
in this film or what?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- That's him!
Oh, no, oh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, where's Ted Bessell?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm?
- Hm?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Let's watch the fun.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GUNSHOT )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, great,
he killed a coconut.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- In cold milk.
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Come on, honey.
- What did you call me, Mike?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Why, I called you--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm sorry, Greta.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, brother.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Bungle in the jungle.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hear coconut fall.
What's going on?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Mm.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( MONKEY SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, stop screaming.
I didn't even hit you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Someone oughta
spank that monkey.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Here, whitey, whitey,
whitey, whitey, whitey.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Here Caucasian.
Here Caucasian.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Here, whitey,
whitey, whitey.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Sprinkle trail
with Cheez Whiz,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}white bread, Velveeta.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}White devil can't resist.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, remember that time
you took a potshot at me,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}pretty boy?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well, it's time to ante up.
Dig?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GUNSHOT )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Take that,
you stinking coconut.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Uh, can't go
through there, uh, no.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GRUNTING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, I'm sick of you old vines.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, meant to do that.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Heh, an entire jungle,
and I slip on a banana peel.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That's irony for you.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GROWLING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- And I'm still right over
your shoulder, smart guy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Old coconut, take that.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GUNSHOT )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hm, sounded like
a car backfiring, didn't it?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, that ankle healed quick.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Continuity--
script girl.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I invade Poland and--
oh, Goebbels.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Sieg heil.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Where are you mine buddies?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( MONKEY SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, quit screaming.
I'm sorry about the coconut.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Uh, try to replace
your divots, please.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Really?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- We're on our way!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, you two,
he's over there.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Uh, somebody didn't
replace their divots.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- They're in this movie.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- We made it.
There's the plane.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We're on our way.
- And it's just landing.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hmph, must get off set.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Working overtime.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Those two just don't get along
with each other, do they?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-mm.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Ooh, bingo.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GUNSHOT )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- My first kill feels good.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE )

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- All white people evil.
Let's get out of here, Scooby.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- He's dead.
The poor devil.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}He must've gone
completely out of his mind.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- He's dead.
She's mine.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'm in love.
We're outta here!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Goodnight!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, it looks like
your in-laws are coming.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Uh-oh.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oolonga! Oolonga!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}TOGETHER:
Hail, Dorothy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The wicked witch doctor is dead.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hail, Dorothy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Looks even realer
taking off.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Okay, new rule.
No white people.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Must take hard line with this,
no exceptions.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Send memo.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I told you this thing had
an automatic pilot.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SNORING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Wait'll you get a look
at that country, Greta.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Colorado is the most beautiful
state in the whole union--

{\a1\pos(222,460)}and that ranch
I've got picked out.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Alfalfa, wheat--
- Stymie, Spanky.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Hey, you aren't listening
to a word I'm saying.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Sounds great.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- What are you thinking about?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Oh, just wondering
how I'm going to look

{\a1\pos(138,460)}in one of those hats.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Huh?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hats again.
- Hats?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHTER )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- ♪ There was a bungle
In the jungle ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ That caused
A real big fright ♪

{\a1\pos(75,460)}♪ Someone was made a goddess
And she happened to be white ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ But then she was rescued
And now she's in the States ♪

{\a1\pos(204,460)}♪ She's just
Your average housewife ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ Cleanin' up the place ♪

{\a1\pos(306,460)}♪ My
- My ♪

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- ♪ My
- My ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- ♪ My white goddess ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( APPLAUSE )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, you can just tell them,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}if they're not
going to worship me,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm not going to
join their PTA!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHTER )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hi, honey, I'm home.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( APPLAUSE )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, how was work today?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Boy, it's a jungle
out there.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHTER )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, aren't you going to
bow down and kiss my feet?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, you may be
queen of the jungle,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but I wear the khakis
around here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, what's this mess?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, it's our neighbor,
that friend of yours.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Bill?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Did he go on another
wild shooting spree?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'll say he did,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and this time
he went too far.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He went and shot up
my crockpot.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm not going to be able
to make dinner.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, I told you
he wasn't such a bad guy.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHTER )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( KNOCKING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I wish that man would learn
how to use the doorbell.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHTER )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( KNOCKING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hello, everybody.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( APPLAUSE )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Will you cut that out?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, now, stop it you two.
Stop it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Would you settle down?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Mr. and Mrs. Mabuta
are on their way over here

{\a1\pos(180,460)}to play bridge.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, where?
( GUNSHOT )

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Ooga!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( AUDIENCE GASPING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Maybe it'll be
three-card Monty now.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHTER )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, I'm so sorry, Mrs. Mabuta,
that we shot your husband.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}What were his last words?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Mabuta, Mabuta, Mabuta.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- What did she say?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Sounded like Mabuta,
Mabuta, Mabuta.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, that's one native

{\a1\pos(117,460)}that's not going to be
restless tonight.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHTER )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Baby, you're a goddess.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Aw!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( APPLAUSE )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Mm, how sweet it is!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Tom Servo!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Art Crow!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Sheila McGypsy!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The Miami Beach audience

{\a1\pos(96,460)}is the greatest audience
in the world!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Goodnight, everybody!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( CHEERING AND APPLAUSE )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( FRANK LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Frank!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, that was funny, man.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That was even funnier
than the Occasional Wife,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}even CPO Sharkey.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Listen, you hockey puck.
They've got letters to read.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Okay.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Sure, uh, I've got them
right here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I really appreciate
you scientists

{\a1\pos(96,460)}faxing these up for us,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}but this one is from
Margaret Bannister, okay?

{\a1\pos(141,460)}And show that
on the still store, Cambot.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- See that cute picture
and everything.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- "Dear Joel,
I like your movies.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're really funny.
I'm five years old."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Really, everything
you want to know

{\a1\pos(222,460)}about people
when they write.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Crow is really funny--"
- Thank you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- "And Tom is, too."
- Thank you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- And I don't know--

{\a1\pos(33,460)}she must've forgot about you,
Gypsy, but I'm sure she--

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- She thinks
you're funny, too, Gypsy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I'm sure she would think
you're funny, too,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and she sent us, actually,
two pictures along with a photo.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Put that one on, Cambot.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Cool!
- That's really nice.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- And then we've got this one,
too, which I really like.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I thought
it was kind of cool

{\a1\pos(12,460)}how she just drew it black
where she didn't know

{\a1\pos(162,460)}what the bottom
of our bodies looked like.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- That's imagination for you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- But you see--
- Oh, there it is.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, that's what it
looks like.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Please, my dressing gown.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, I guess that ends
the experiment, sirs.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I hope you enjoyed
the skits and stuff we did.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Can I, can I--

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Joel, can I say the address,
please?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, yeah, better do that.

{\a1\pos(138,96)}- Send your letters,
drawings, and whatever

{\a1\pos(33,96)}to the Mystery Science Theater
Information Club,

{\a1\pos(54,68)}P.O. Box 5325, Hopkins, MN.

{\a1\pos(117,68)}The zip code is 55343.

{\a1\pos(180,96)}Keep 'em coming.
- Right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And I guess that ends
the experiment, sir.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, very nice Clambake.
- Yeah, very nice Clambake.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Until next time Joel-a-rini.
- Until next time Joel-a-rini.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Okay, Frank,
push the button.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Okay, Frank,
push the button.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- What?
- What?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Would you push the button?
- Would you push the button?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Just push the button.
- Just push the button.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh.
- Just push the button.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )