Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988–1999): Season 3, Episode 2 - The Sidehackers - full transcript

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ In the not too distant future

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Next Sunday A.D.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ There was a guy named Joel

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Not too different
from you or me

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ He worked at
Gizmonic Institute

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Just another face
in a red jumpsuit

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ He did a good job
cleaning up the place

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ But his bosses
didn't like him so

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ They shot him into space

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ We'll send him cheesy movies

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ The worst we can
find (la-la-la)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ He'll have to sit
and watch them all

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ And we'll monitor
his mind (la-la-la)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Now keep in mind
Joel can't control

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Where the movies
begin or end (la-la-la)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Because he used
those special parts

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ To make his robot friends

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Robot roll call,
Cambot (pan left)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Gypsy (hi, girl)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ Tom Servo (what a cool guy)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Crow (he's a wisecracker)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ If you're wondering
how he eats and breathes

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ And other science
facts (la la la)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Then repeat to
yourself it's just a show

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ I should really just relax

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ For Mystery Science
Theater 3000

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(doors closing)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- See, this is
a Dutch navy rub,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}the kind that give
you in the service.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Is that good, okay.
- Ow.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh geez, hi.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Boy, it's really a hairy day.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I got a load of laundry
and I just got done

{\a1\pos(96,460)}giving the robots a
bath, and I'm about to

{\a1\pos(201,460)}put them down.
- No.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Then, I got to clean
up the load pan bay.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, Servo messed it up.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- No, no it was both of us.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We were having sword
fights (chuckles).

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- 30 seconds to
commercial sign.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, stop it.
(overlapping arguing)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You guys just got to--
- Joel,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}tell him to stop.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Would you take it easy?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You're just overtired.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Commercial sign
in, in 10 seconds.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I don't want to
hear another peep

{\a1\pos(12,460)}out of you two, all right?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Commercial sign in, in five,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}four, three, two, one.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Eeee!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- All right, that's
it, that's it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Good one, Crow, come on.
- Nice one.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(upbeat instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I know you are but what am I?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, you're another one.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I know you are but what am I?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You're dumb.
- Baby, baby.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Listen, you guys better
stop it or I'm going to

{\a1\pos(33,460)}give you both a time out, okay?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}How's that make you feel?
- But, Joel--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Joel, you said we could
stay up for the movie.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, that's what
we're designed for.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Listen, okay, if you're
really, really good you can

{\a1\pos(54,460)}stay up for the movie, okay?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Okay, we'll be really good.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, we promise.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Okay, now look sharp,
the mad scientists

{\a1\pos(117,460)}are calling, all right?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hm, mm-hmm, okay.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Now, do you have that
prism lens effect?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That fly eye thing
we talked about?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You know like at the
beginning of Family Affair.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That kind of thing.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We'll do that here, all right?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, Joel, we're just
tidying up down here a bit.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}Let's get right to the
invention exchange this week.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}What do you say, how about it?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- We're going to
watch the movie.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We get to watch the movie.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hey, come on,
cut it out you guys.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I want you to go turn out
the lights you spinach chins.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I want to show him
Gretchen the Slinky, okay?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That's better.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, some exciting
things have been going on

{\a1\pos(33,460)}here in the Satellite of Love.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I realize that if you gave
the right chemical bath

{\a1\pos(138,460)}to a slinky and then
exposed it to some

{\a1\pos(36,460)}ultraviolet light, some
interesting things would happen.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I want to show you
Gretchen the Slinky.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, Gretchen, wake up, come on.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}There you go.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}See, she's doing really good.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yeah, that's right, she
likes to be around people.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Come on, hey come on.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You want something to eat?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Here, I got some carpet for you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You like carpet, don't...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You don't like?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, come on, have some carpet.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, that's good.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yeah, she loves carpet.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You want some more?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Come on, have some more
there, finish it up.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Okay, now let's show them what

{\a1\pos(180,460)}slinkies do when
they sleep, okay?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm going to show them
how you sleep, okay?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Just hang you up like this.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}See, they rock themselves
like that, okay.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}All right, and do one last
thing for them Gretchen, okay?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}All right, I want you
to do one last thing.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}I want you to do your
impression of the 60s, okay?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}On the count of
three, all right?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}One, two, three, do your
impression of the 60s.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}That's good, all right, cool.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- That is adorable.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I wish I had one of those.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Must be kind of hard
to take care of, I bet.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I remember when was a kid once,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I had this slinky, I put
it on the escalator--

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Frank!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, here comes Dr. Forester
now with his invention.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, Joel, this
invention is based on the

{\a1\pos(180,460)}old slinky train
toy I had as a kid.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It allows me to be
in two places at once

{\a1\pos(180,460)}connected by the
special bio tube.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, it's much too complicated,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}would take a scientist
to explain it,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and I'm simply too mad.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, what do you think, Joel?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, you guys are
always stealing my ideas.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We're monitoring
your mind, Joel.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Besides, in space, no
one can hear you sue.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Tell him, Frank.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- That's right.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We're evil, evil!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Those are just the most
delightfully cute creatures.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I want one like that.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I want a little
critter just like that.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm going to go to
the Hasbro you--

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Frank!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Huh?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Your movie this week, Joel,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}is not a science fiction film,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}but it's perfect
for our experiments.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It's just bad.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Tell him, Frank.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- That's right.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It's a diabolical cinematic...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It's just bad.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yes, remember that
bad thing we saw?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}This is even worse than that.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yes.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That's right it's bad.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- But, it's our kind of bad.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's a good bad.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- It's bad.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's good for us.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Bad for you, Joel.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Ah, the movie's sign!
(alarm buzzing)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(doors creaking open)

Watch Movies, Series & LiveTV
www.flixify.app

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, and those scientists,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}they're always trying
to rip your head off.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah, cheaters.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(motorcycle engines revving)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, this is gonna
be hard to watch.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Postage Stamp
Theater presents.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, they shot this
with a 3MM camera.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'd like to shoot
them with a 3MM Howitzer.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Sidehackers?
- Bigger,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}it's got to be bigger!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Is that what happens
when a guy spits

{\a1\pos(54,460)}out of the side of his mouth?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I think it's (mumbling).

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, great, I
love orange soda.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I liked it when they used to

{\a1\pos(117,460)}shoot movies in Orange
Julius scope.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(motorcycle engines roaring)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Well, they
can't be that good.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Look, they need training wheels.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, the scientists
must be showing us ESPN.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Maybe they'll show kickboxing
from the Philippines.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(quick tempo instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Tonight's episode,
Bicycle Built for Death.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Baby, can you
drive my murder?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- These boots were
made for arsen.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Two-wheeler, four-wheeler,
dead-wheeler.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Easy rider, easy dead.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Tonight, act one, with very
special guest, Ross Hagen.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And JC Hoffentopper,
tried off in two-sler.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, pretty snazzy track.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Couldn't you do
that in the privy?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Filmed in long torso vision.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, Dave Tessier,
hey the whole

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Tessier clan got in on this.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yep.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You know, now that
sidehacking's so big,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}it's really interesting
to see its humble origins.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(slow upbeat vocal music)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Based on the award winning
stage play by Lillian Helman.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Director of Blurriness, Jon
Hall and Erol Hooks (chuckles).

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Hey, check the map, will ya?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Why me, why me all the time?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Pat Somerset, bum.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That's what Mark Howard
used to do (chuckles).

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- And the Mike
Curb congregation.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hey.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- And the rest.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Art director, Lee Fischer.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Assistant camera
man, Vince Dyslexic.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Assistant script
supervisor, Eddie Glaucoma.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Music editor,
uh, can't read it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, let me up there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- That's no way to
kill hemorrhoids.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- My dog used to do
that on the driveway.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, oh, ow, ow.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- He was in Porgy and Bess.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- No one's legs were ground
off in the making of this film.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I lost my contact, help me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Help, I'm sidehacking
and I can't get up.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm having butt pains.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Well, we'll be
right there Mr. Stumpy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(crowd cheering)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}There's that Jon Hall again.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- She's happy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- So, that's how Ross
Hagen got in the film,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}he slept with the
producer (chuckles).

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Hey, it's Hunter S. Thompson.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}I didn't know
sidehacking was so gonzo.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- The winner's circle.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Full of burning tires.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, it used to be
a renaissance festival

{\a1\pos(12,460)}as far as the eye can see.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Undercooked pork
by Gus Trikonis.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Come on, let's go.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Meanwhile in another movie.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hey, they're
filming a Kotex ad.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}I'm a...

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I can't say Kotex, I'm a robot.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Let's check in and see
what the Gatsbys are doing.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Last one to the
montage is a rotten egg.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Let's walk ankle
deep in filth.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- So, what's so bad
about feeling good?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Haircut by Chad Everett.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Nope, nope (laughs).

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You little tigress.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- They look like they're
filming a Star Trek episode.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- "Help me, Kirk, help me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"I am here, Rock."

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Ah, life is good, isn't it?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Our love is clean love.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- After we're married,
I still want this.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What, this tree?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What do you mean?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- All being out here
where no one can bug us.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Just you and me.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, yeah, I
love that idea too.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Hey, we think alike, don't we?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We both share a brain.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Uh-huh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, come here!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm going to break your
shin you little tigress.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey Joel, where do you
suppose these guys are

{\a1\pos(162,460)}working now that
cigarette ads are illegal?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I don't know.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Maybe they're working
on Peer Magazine.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Remember when we were making
a film called Sidehackers?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Now, let's see here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You forgot your socks?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- No, silly, my underwear.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, you blew your nose?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- No, come on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Okay, what is it?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Uh, David McCellan's
coming over for dinner.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yep.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I'm thinking
that you're the most

{\a1\pos(180,460)}beautiful man in
the whole world.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I'm thinking you're right.
- Come on,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm not beautiful.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Well, you are.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I can see why, honey.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And you taste good too,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}but your lips are drugged, ahh.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Whoa.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, I'm tripping.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}No, I'm really tripping.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ouch, ouch there's a
protractor in my pocket.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Mystic blinding effect,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and then we get
the bloom in the...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And sorry about my ham...

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Lady, oh.
- Oh, come on, Jerry.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Mrs. Morgan, himmy-hye.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, cut that out
Jerry and get off me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Sorry about the
bugs and the keys, ow.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Get your knee
out of my groin.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- The best roll in the hay I
ever had (chuckles).

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Oh, ow.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ow, lady, ooh.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Even this grass is...

{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's drugged!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Had enough to eat?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I've grazed
enough, thank you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I guess we should talk now.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- But not of you.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hmmm.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hm, now do that
tiger noise again.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Growl.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, love is good.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Love is good, yeah.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Hmmm, Grum think love good.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Want to guess what it is?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Nintendo?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Bunny?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Fuel injection?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Okay, let's see, a new car?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Next one (imitates buzzer).

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Pass (imitates buzzer).

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Uh, sweater--

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Pass.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Come on, that's
more than two.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Okay, what is it?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- It's a lock.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Aww.
- A what?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You heard me, a lock.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- A lock, you know, a little
fish, you eat them on bagels.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Now what am I
going to do with that?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- It's what I'm
going to do with it.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hm, I see.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}What's that?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I want you to wear it, okay?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- In your septum.
- Okay.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(upbeat instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hey, Luke?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}So, she gave me this lock
like an engagement ring.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- So you had a good
time yesterday, huh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, sorry that you
and Lois couldn't make it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, why don't
you shut off that

{\a1\pos(12,460)}motorcycle so we can talk?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You really should have
some time to yourself.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You'll see what I mean
when the kids start coming.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, it's funny, we
talked about that yesterday.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah, you sound
like me when I was

{\a1\pos(12,460)}about to take the big step.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, what do you mean?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Asking yourself
101 questions.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Can you open the garage door?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Remember when we
used to be smart?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- When you finally do
it, it won't seem so big.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yeah, maybe.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(motorcycle engine revving)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Look, you ever seen
me look so happy?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, but you didn't
know I was watching you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I've never seen
you looking so fat.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Fat?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Look.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah, I got to
start watching that.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, family life's too
easy, makes a man soft.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You know what you
got to do, Luke?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Get out more, exercise.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Exercise?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Well, I may be
soft, but I'm still--

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Stupid.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hya, hey, heya!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Chop on the head
and the hook and a ho!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hellooo.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hellooo.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Am in time
for the main event?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What can we do for you?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, it's Dick Sean.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I got a bike that
needs some repairing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey boss, that's
airplane glue.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- We got a couple ahead of you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, I got an exhibition
in Frisco in two weeks.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Then you won't be needing

{\a1\pos(201,460)}those clothes.
- You think you can have

{\a1\pos(180,460)}it ready by then?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Let's have a look.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- It's outside in the truck.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- What, are you
coming on to me, hm?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- So, this must be
what they call a garage.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Cooky.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- It's a nice job you got here.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Sweet.
- Well, thanks.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- The way JC rides, he can
keep you in steady business.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, what do you mean?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Exhibition riding,
fairs, rodeos--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Weddings, bar
mitzvahs, you know.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- He can make a
bike do anything.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- In fact, I'm a bike.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I didn't get your name.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Rommel.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, you magnificent
son of a bitch,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I read your book.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You got a cigarette?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Got a dopey hat?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You think that's funny?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You don't have
much to say, do you?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Are you trying
to say something?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- No (chuckles).

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Paisly?
- Guessed it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- He looks like Bud Freeman.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I hope he doesn't
try to hug everybody.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- What's with the
training wheels?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's called a sidehack.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We built a whole
movie around it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We had to pad up
that first scene with

{\a1\pos(201,460)}metal, though.
- What's it for?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We use it for racing.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You have a pilot
and a passenger.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's up to the passenger to
balance out the bike on corners.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Teamwork.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I see, the guy rides
hanging onto this bar here.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- D'oh!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Where do you ride them?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Well, we're having
some trials this weekend.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, this whole movie
is a trial, all right?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- The sidehack, huh?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I like it!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- We can have it ready for
you by the middle of next week.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Middle of the week, huh?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You told me two weeks, Nero.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}What are you an
idiot or something?

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Oh, you want to give me
some time to think about that?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I don't know, maybe no.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- We'll see you next weekend.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}This sidehack thing I will see.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I will see it!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Me too.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Me three.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-hmm.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(metal door closing)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Now, weird little
guy, wasn't he?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Maybe he'll let me
call him Little Buddy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Did you invite him out?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yep.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Sure, I swing.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Both ways?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I thought you
left that all behind

{\a1\pos(96,460)}when you bought the shop?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, sometimes you
talk like an old man.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Left all what behind?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Trouble.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Right here in the city.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Now, what do
you mean by that?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Capital T, rhymes
with C, stands for chick.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- So what?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- So, that's no situation
to get yourself into.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's bad news and
that's his old lady.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}They're all nuts.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- That little guy
in the mirror there.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Fairs and rodeos and the
other half blowing their mind.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, wow.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- The little lady
comes in here and starts

{\a1\pos(96,460)}throwing her butt around.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now, what am I supposed to do?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Run in a corner and
hide or something?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Get out of the
way of the butt.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- All right, forget
I said anything.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- All right, I will.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}They come into here
and they want to

{\a1\pos(54,460)}give us some business, right?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Fine, but she's gonna
want some business too.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Okay, but it's
not too bad, is it?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- So-so.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- That's what I'm asking.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I don't know.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Third base.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- So-so, yes sir,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}you may be married, Luke,
but your eyes aren't.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Guess who?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Uh, are you known for
your work in the theater?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Tammy Grimes.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Honey, do you
have some money?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The kids need new shoes.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Oh man, if it's not one
thing it's another around here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Next, you'll be throwing
money at food and clothing.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yeah, pick me
up a dime bag of

{\a1\pos(138,460)}those (clears throat)
shoes, Colombian shoes.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Why, Lois?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Eww.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Thanks.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- She brings by
lunch every day.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Well, it was a
tongue sandwich.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You got it made, Luke.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- It's okay, your
turn's coming.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, you want a cookie?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, that's my lunch.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(motorcycle engine revving)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Interesting,
very interesting.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- But stupid.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- How much racing
have you done?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- A little.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- That's what I like about you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Just give them enough
to make them wonder.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- That's right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey JC, where's your
next move after Frisco?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Who knows, East, maybe.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Thanks for littering.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}God, what a pig.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- The California
Hackrace Competition.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}A new and exciting sport
filled with thrills and spills,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}such as you've
never seen before.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And you won't see now.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Come on, come on, hurry up,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}the film is slow enough.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- On hack number
14, pilots Dan Shara,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sharal, that is, and
passenger Dennis Wooly.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And on number five, Steve
Cant and his passenger--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Jerry Mahoney.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- How does she make
herself look like Buffy?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's amazing.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Pilot Woody Splinter and
passenger Vince Rum who,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}as I might add, our newcomer
in this thrilling new sport.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- New newcomer
to this new sport?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Isn't that an oxymoron?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Known as Jerbingo.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, Jim Hutton.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- His shin bone's a muffler.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Brenda Fowler, Dolly
Fox, Wily Fort, Sandy Cofax.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- And on hack number seven,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Crash Roach and his
passenger Jim McNeal.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Ruby Grape.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Lefty Lemon.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Engine Orange.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Jolly Olly Orange.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Loud Mouth Lock.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Choo Choo Cherry.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Buffy, I'm sizzlin'.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And they have no lines.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hold me, please hold me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, come on, Jerry.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(announcer over
speakers in background)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Hey, that announcer is way
too excited for his own good.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Pace yourself, oh ham.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- And the perma
crowd is in position.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(motorcycles revving)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Jane, stop this crazy thing.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'm going to throw up, argh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Indeed, throw me the wind.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Throw me the idol.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Throw me--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- The idol.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}All right, something
else is happening now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Remember that other
thing I told you about?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's happening again.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh no, now something, some
kind of stuff that's different,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}kind of different, but
it's the same kind of

{\a1\pos(222,460)}similar stuff
happening in a way.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh look at that, some
more stuff's happening,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}involving motorcycles
and a whole lot of dust.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}This sport is so new we don't
even have the terminology yet.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Oh, around the clubhouse turn,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}there's an apartment
house with plenty of room.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Girdle holds on in the stretch.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And bottom up the
rear is Beetle Baum.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I like my man best.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mine's better.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- There's the team
from Footlocker.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Just lean!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- (imitates engine)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Come on, get
back in the frame.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You over there, back
in the frame, come on.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Get in here, get in there.

{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Good one,
Cambot, nice effect.

{\a1\pos(285,68)}- Whoa.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- For you folks at
home, this might be a

{\a1\pos(33,460)}good time to go get a sandwich.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- This is exciting, huh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, you should have
gone before we left.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Here they come.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Come on, we only live through
your achievements, please.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(women cheering)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, we better get
out of here, you guys.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Thank Bob Crane for
being the flagman there.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, boy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(doors slamming shut)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- All right.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, we got a really
neat treat for you guys.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We've worked on some heavy
charts about sidehacking.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Cambot, I want you
to run the stat race

{\a1\pos(180,460)}footage in there
on the Chromakey.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay you guys, vam.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yeah, I'm trapped
up in outer space.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Sometimes, my life feels
like a big pile of nothing.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}So what?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Word, I live with it, dig it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But anyway, me and
my buds would like to

{\a1\pos(96,460)}wail out a song about our
friends, the sidehackers.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It goes like this.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Sidehacking is the thing to do

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ And it doesn't
hurt to have a low IQ

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Take your life, your
life, and a little luck

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ The big, grand
prize is 25 bucks

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Sidehacking'll quench
your danger thirst

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ The stupid ones always
seem to come in first, yeah

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ Sidehacking is one big bash

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ The favorite sport
of cheap white trash

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ When you're on your sidehack
make sure you don't slip

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ You'll end up with five
metal pins in your hip

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Lean way back until
you scrape your butt

{\a1\pos(99,460)}♪ Make it look like a
quarter pound of ground chuck

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Yeah, oh sidehacking Crow

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(electronic blues guitar)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh go, Crow.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Some sport that attracts
a lot of racing fools

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ A lot of people get hurt
'cause there are no rules

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ All you need is
a toxic landfill

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ A cycle and a side
car and an urge to kill

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ Better get with this sport
'cause it won't last long

{\a1\pos(54,460)}♪ The founders of this sport
are laid at Forest Long

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(uptempo instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(motorcycles revving)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You guys were great.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The way you took
them on that corner,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I guess that'll bend them
out of shape for a while.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}See, I like this
sidehack business.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You join me on the circuit.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I got some idea how to
put this into my act.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}But you got to build the drama.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}See, that's what you got to do.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You got to make it look harder.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- All right, I'll wear
a porcupine costume.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You want to try it?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- You're on.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Woohoo!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Woohoo, yeehoo.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Woohoo.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, it's about this time
the ol' Duke boys decided to

{\a1\pos(117,460)}show ol' Boss Hog what
sidehacking was all about.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeehoo.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- So, you hurl them on
the ground and dosey-do,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}make them sing like a soprano.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Sidehack, yeah.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Wow.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- All right.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yoohoo.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Then you fall off the
bike flat on your ass,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}then you throw your butt
to the prairie grass.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You stick your
can up in the air,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and show us again
like you don't care.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Sidehack everybody.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Swing your sidehack.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Let's go, Batman.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeehoo.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, you grab JC and
you swing him around,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}you put him on the sidehack
and throw him down.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Sidehack, come on now.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Let's hear it for
Mr. Humility there.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Whoa.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeehoo, looks like a great
place for a sidehack,
doesn't it?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}This is where cows sidehack it.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Whoa, yeehoo.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Yee.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Thanks folks, I'll
be here all week.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Tip the waitress,
enjoy the buffet.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeehoo, more of the same.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Whoa.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- And this is my
country estate.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I also keep a trailer
home in the city.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We really are having
some fun, aren't we?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's time for some
international coffee.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- What a trip!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Orange cappuccino?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, did you hire an
after dinner speaker?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Groovy place.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}How'd you get it?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Luke and I bought it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- We're going to live
here after we're married.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Rrrrr.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- A little love nest.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's a beautiful place.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Let's not patronize
him or anything.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Isn't it a
beautiful place, honey?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yeah, it is.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- She's so articulate.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You're joining
the establishment.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And the establishment
is Plastic Man.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yep.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Come on, Rommel,
why don't you

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and the old lady
ride with us, huh?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We can make a lot of
money on this circuit.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, let me get
you another beer, huh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- It looks like they're
drinking motor oil.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, you should never drink 10W30

{\a1\pos(201,460)}in the summer.
- No one's along when

{\a1\pos(180,460)}they're with JC.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, JC, I need
to ask you something.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- What are you bugging me for!?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Whoa.
- Say.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Switch to decaf.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Get your hands off me!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, real nice.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Shutup.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(somber instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Woo, well, he
really sucked the

{\a1\pos(12,460)}air out of that room, didn't he?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, beamed up, anyone?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Let's kiss.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}By hurting others, our
love grows stronger.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- That was fun.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- He just doesn't want to, JC.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hm, huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What do you mean
doesn't want to?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Let's see, does not want to,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}which word didn't
you understand?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hm?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- (chuckles) Cookie face.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(imitates tongue kissing noises)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'll try not to beg you, man.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's your choice.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, it is my choice
and I don't want to.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Sorry, bye now.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Capital day.
- Come on, let's go.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, but I haven't had
any seven layer salad.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Will you get out of here?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, thanks for
coming, now stay out.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Geez, what does
Martha Stewart

{\a1\pos(12,460)}say about times like this?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Wait, that's for
the drug test, no.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, darn.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ah, really didn't
go too good, did it?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Is there any intelligence
in that head of yours?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- No wait, wait, you asked
me that once before, I know.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Woopy--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Goldberg.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}- One minute
accomplishment in a day.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He's dealing with idiots.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Now, if you can
answer me this one.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Uh huh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Riddle me this.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Simple question, school
will be out for the day.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Is this going
to be on the final?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Attention, if
you came with me...

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mm-hmm, uh huh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Why shouldn't
Rommel come with me?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- 'Cause he's not
your girlfriend?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, baby, you were my
meal ticket out of that town.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What's with this
meal ticket bit?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Chicago?
- I saved you from

{\a1\pos(96,460)}a life of nothing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I bet you'd like
to believe that.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I don't know what I saw
in you in the first place.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It would have been a lot more
exciting to take the bus.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Yeah, but then you'd have to

{\a1\pos(12,460)}sit next to the stinky guy.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh man, you should have seen
yourself being drug around.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Rommel had you looking like
an overstuffed Polish sausage.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- But I am a thuringer.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ah, you're nothing but
a little boy, JC.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You disappoint me
all the way around.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- (clears throat)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I never disappointed
you in bed.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- (clears throat)
(whistles)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Really?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Don't walk away when
I'm talking to you, Pais.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Get your hands off me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You damn dirty ape.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Scream for your loverboy?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Go ahead, scream, I
want to hear you scream.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Scream.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Please, JC.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Do we have to watch this?
- Not, until you scream,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}now scream.
- What a creep.

{\a1\pos(225,460)}- Help.
(slapping and punching)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, hey.
- That's it, that's it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Boo, boo, no.
- Oh, boy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Come on, Pais.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You hear me, baby?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You're mine, every mother
loving inch of you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- But, I can't breath.
- If anybody

{\a1\pos(180,460)}touched you, I'd
kill them, Pais.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}That's how much
I love you, baby.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, I guess he
really does love her.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- He kind of kisses like a dog.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm sorry, baby.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're a team, sweetheart.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah, I'm Punch
and you're Judy.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I'll prove it to you, baby.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Try some of my
forbidden fruit.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Come on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- An apple a day...

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- It says three o' clock--

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Good thing he's using that
mask to protect his scalp.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I can't get this
sparklet to light, Hal.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And he really go and
he gets the gas tank.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Hey Rommel, you like those

{\a1\pos(33,460)}chubby checkers that Lois gets?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah, yeah, but
they burn my gut.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, like this movie.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- But I think that's
what Rita and Lois are

{\a1\pos(12,460)}making for dinner tonight.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- How come every time
we go to the ranch, Luke,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}we got to have chili peppers?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Why not hamburgers?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You know I love hamburgers.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Less talk, more move.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, what's the
director doing here?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- It's ready.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Good.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Now open the garage door.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It's show time.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- How much?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- 32 bucks.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Boy, this is a cheap movie.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey Luke, did you pick up
those parts for the Harley yet?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I'll get them now.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You want a sandwich?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah, one with
everything on it.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-hmm.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mmm, good.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(uptempo instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- That refrigerator's
been everywhere.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- And so has she.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-hmm.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hi.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Uh, why yes I
am, I'm on a ladder.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- How you doing?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Good.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Better than you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Where's your buddy?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Kind of personal, isn't it?
- Oh, he went for some parts.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- What's up?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I just thought I'd stop by

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and see if you've
changed your mind.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Running errands
for the old man, huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You might call it that.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I call it co-dependency.
- It's just that

{\a1\pos(201,460)}he doesn't like
being turned down.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, well life's full
of little rejections.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, like my rejection
from Simon and Schuster when

{\a1\pos(180,460)}my book came out.
- I know what you mean.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I've read your book you
magnificent (clears throat).

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Can you use some
help over there?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh yeah, you
could butt me out.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hand me that box there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Now, quack like a duck.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Ow.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Here, let me get it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I had fun yesterday.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You were great.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Thanks.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know, JC's not bad, a
little funny but not bad.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He's no Gallagher
or anything.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Rommel?
- You magnificent son of a...

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Do you like me?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Well sure, I like everybody.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I even like Gallagher for

{\a1\pos(162,460)}crying out loud.
- Then why do you back off

{\a1\pos(33,460)}when I try to get close to you?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- There's a ladder in the way.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You know, I can't get to you.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- There's a ladder in the way.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Why not?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Now, look Paisley,
you got a man, right?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Maybe I'd like a change.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Maybe she's got a
saggy diaper that leaks.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, what do you
want me to do about it?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I thought maybe you

{\a1\pos(222,460)}knew someone.
- You and me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Look, Paisley, you
go on home and grow up.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know, that's the nice
thing about a little girl.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}If they're lucky, they
can grow up to be women.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You bastard.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I'm more of a woman than you'll

{\a1\pos(33,460)}ever know, you son of a bitch.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, that's magnificent
son of a bitch.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- What's she uptight about?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I don't know, I
just don't get girls.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, I asked for a bagel
and a shmear, what's this?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Don't give me
no pilatski, huh?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Okay, and this is his bike.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I want you to take a look at it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, I got to take the
fridge to the airport,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}you need anything?
- It's right outside here.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Hey, Nero, you got problems?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, Rome's burning, why?
- I was on my way

{\a1\pos(180,460)}out of town when
misfortune struck me,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and I think I burned
the internal combustion
off my engine.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- That is a problem.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yes, sir, indeed it is.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I got to thinking about
that work we discussed,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}if the offer's still open.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, I think we can
work it out for you.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Sure.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- (imitates crying) Turns
out they really wanted

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Nancy Sinatra for this role.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Maybe my boots were
made for walking

{\a1\pos(117,460)}right off of this set,
then I go and spoil

{\a1\pos(12,460)}it all by saying something
stupid like, "I love you."

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I feel like
I'm time tripping.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}That Buffy girl got to stand
next to Jim Huppin look alike.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I remember it all.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I remember the way he used to
snap his jacket off for me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- And I remember that
too, that's worse.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- You go on home and grow up.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That's the nice thing
about little girls.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Remember the way
Rommel insulted me?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And the way JC made
me cough up blood.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You can't take those precious
memories away from me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(imitates crying)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Take that, Nancy
Sinatra (imitates crying).

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hey, Luke?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- What?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- All done in there?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Just wondered if you
and Lois and the kids were

{\a1\pos(12,460)}going to stay at the ranch
tonight after we eat dinner.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Well, we were
thinking about it.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Why?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh no, I was just wondering.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Aha, turn up.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- What were you wondering?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, just wondering.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Nothing.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah, nothing.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You and Rita want to stay
up by yourselves tonight?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Bingo.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yep.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Well, that's a
good idea, Luke.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Kind of read my mind.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You sure you don't mind?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- No problem.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Thanks.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Nope, don't mind at all.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You just gonna sit out
there and relax tonight, huh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- This is kinda looking
like 30 Something.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, except for the dirty
pictures in the background.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yep, uh huh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm going to put
my arm around her.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- (chuckling)
- Yep.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Well, like I said,
you and Rita should

{\a1\pos(54,460)}have some time to yourselves.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Yeah, time.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, you know,
you're right, Luke.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Need some more time.
- Yeah, time.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Then what?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, you know, I'm
going to give her a kiss.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(goofy laughing)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(slow romantic music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Mmm, so soft, mmm.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You sure you want--
- That's a lovely

{\a1\pos(138,460)}dress she's wearing.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- How do you plan
to have 100 kids?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Moments like this here.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- What?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, there's really a ton
of change in this mattress.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Are you going to
take care of them all?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughing)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- (mumbling) turn you
into a widow woman.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Nice vaccination scar.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Into a widow woman, huh?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Widow woman.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(grumbling)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Widow woman ain't too bad.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Especially those ones that--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- It's Rod Stewart and Kim
Carnes in Laryngitis Theater.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- Come on, Ricky, the
ceiling needs painting, ahh.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You still love me?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(grumbling)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ugh, this guy's
really got a hairy back.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yikes.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Look, he's
kissing himself now.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Why?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I just imagined you at 90 and

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I don't think I can
do this anymore.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(blows raspberries)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hm, ha ha ha, good.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Take a big drink out of life.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Sounds like the
start of sidehack film.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Sounds like they're
sharing the same larynx.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(mumbling)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I threw cold water on Batman.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I think she's
laying on a lamp shade.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hello, Sheriff.
- Hi, hello.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- What happened?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Rommel.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I know where he is.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Algeria.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I heard him tell
his buddy he was

{\a1\pos(96,460)}going to the cabin
where we had the party.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Cooch, stay with her.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You guys, come with me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Isn't it Gooch?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You know, Rom, I
really love this place?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hm, this place, hm.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- After we get married,
I'm going to fix it up.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(grumbling)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- All it really needs
is a woman's touch.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, like I care, yeah.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'm going to stain the walls.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Maybe to give it a bit
of a fresh, clean look.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, we're stained, yeah.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- We'll get blue draperies
to match my blue, blue couch.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Mm, yeah, you know
what I could do with that.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- It would cost a fortune.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And throw rugs, throw
rugs all over the place.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah, throw up
on those throw rugs.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}Yeah.
- A couple of new lamps, huh?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, like the ones
you were laying on.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Why don't you
just take my wallet.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(imitates snoring)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'll pick fresh
flowers every day.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Lillies.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh my God, so many other

{\a1\pos(12,460)}women in my life I could have...

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- You think I'm being silly?
(imitates snoring)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Rom?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(smacks lips)
- Patton's here,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Patton's here, honey.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Wake up you desert fox, you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(imitates kissing)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I love you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hm, yeah right.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Sure, whatever.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I love you.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.
- Let's go.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- We better get out of here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm tired of her.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Time's up, lover boy.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Get him.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(uptempo instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Joel, what happened,
where'd the sidehacking go?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yeah, where'd
it go, we liked it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Well, you guys
got to understand,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}it's really hard to
get a new sport going.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's hard to get the recognition
that other sports enjoy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Can you name a few?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Uh, kickboxing
from the Philippines.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Uh, tape measure racing.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And computations, and
Australian rules football.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Right, and what do all
these sports have in common

{\a1\pos(12,460)}that sidehacking does not?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- A rudimentary
interest factor.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- A sense of fair play.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- A small measure
of self-esteem?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Right, these are all
really good answers,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}but the thing I was looking
for was terminology.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's impossible to
have play by play

{\a1\pos(33,460)}or color commentary without it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}So, let's put our heads
together and come up with

{\a1\pos(138,460)}some terminology that
showcases some of the

{\a1\pos(96,460)}really exciting moves in
our sport, sidehacking.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Cambot, roll that footage.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- It looks like the Wesley
brothers out of John Harding

{\a1\pos(117,460)}starting things briskly
with the fuller brush man

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and a Rumplestiltskins
follow through

{\a1\pos(54,460)}with a teenage co-ed prison.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Out of Warsaw
representing Wisconsin,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Mitch and Pitch
now performing the

{\a1\pos(54,460)}now famous Yank Me, Crank Me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- That bright young teen,
the Allentown Poodles,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}with their rendition
of the swirly.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh no, could that have
been the gunk out?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Crow?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Thanks, Joel.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I think that was more of
a spinning love funnel

{\a1\pos(54,460)}from those fresh face kids of
Kankakee Community College.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh my goodness, it's a
line back, a small burn,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and a hop, skip and
a go lane with a

{\a1\pos(138,460)}ventusler and a vinci
gorilla, a vinci gorilla.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh oh, here comes
the big blue flamer

{\a1\pos(201,460)}followed by tea
time, Richard Scarry,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the full tilled bozo crazy
and just plain stupid.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's an exciting
day indeed here at

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Japanese War Atrocity Park
and Pavilion on the park.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}But what's this?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Is that the antiquated
old Puffa Bobba O'Reilly

{\a1\pos(117,460)}attempting the teenage
wasteland on the

{\a1\pos(201,460)}heidy hidey hoe
side of the track?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- From the doper
side of the street,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}(mumbling) and Eleanor,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Casey's rolling
pizza, I just imagine.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Meet you on the
dark side of the moon.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's the ghostly trio
followed by No-Tell Motel,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Ask For Cream and
Death by Chocolate.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, hold on to
your epidermis,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}it's Deputy Dog and the hard
drinking soldiers of fortune

{\a1\pos(96,460)}attempting the Off
Copy Leaky Tease.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Shake me to wake me, Crow,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}it looks like Batman and the
costume critters of death

{\a1\pos(96,460)}are going crinkle cut and
somebody's got to pay.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But uh oh, funny ha
ha, funny strange,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}at the Batman in tow screaming,
"Hey world, check me out."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hand me over,
it's raspberry commy,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}the fruitful snuitful
and hickory dickory dye

{\a1\pos(204,460)}attempting a
Butterscotch Push with a

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Frunky, Frunky, Frunky.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ho ho ho, is that
GoGo the Gorilla with

{\a1\pos(117,460)}bloopers, blunders, and
practical jokes with starchy

{\a1\pos(180,460)}cock and the wock
and their fintusler.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}There's Electrowoman
and Dina Girl in the

{\a1\pos(96,460)}George Barris custom show
rod, bravely attempting the

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Big Guy with a Tommy
Tune on the side.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I've got to correct
you on that, Crow.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I think he's attempting the
Stinky Guy with a Pete Allen.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Uh oh, that means he'll be
disqualified and slept with a

{\a1\pos(96,460)}day in the life of
Eva Danisivitch.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}That could be a problem
for our Quentin Crisp,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}who's expected to
deliver a fighting

{\a1\pos(12,460)}out of its brother or a...

{\a1\pos(54,460)}God, your helmet smells good.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh oh, here comes Nutsy
the sidehacking clown

{\a1\pos(138,460)}performing his famous
tension envelope routine.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Don't get too close
'cause remember, kids,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}he who smelt it dealt it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Let's give him a
round of applause as

{\a1\pos(12,460)}we all pardon his blooper.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, it's been a
big day with plenty of

{\a1\pos(201,460)}shared gut blow
outs, juicy luicy's,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and a woozahoola
who's name was Peanut.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This is Crow, and Joel,
and Tom Servo in the pit.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We'll be at the 19th
quadrant attempting a

{\a1\pos(180,460)}grass grinder and
ground grass as a

{\a1\pos(180,460)}mulching mulch is
good for your lawn.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- That ought to hold it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(alarm buzzing)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, we have movie sign,

{\a1\pos(264,460)}let's go.
- Ahh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(doors opening)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Say, the
excitement, the action.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, thank you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, you got a little...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You got a little
on your cheek there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, that jelly doughnut
kind of got away from him.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I got a feeling.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}(mysterious instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hm?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Oh no.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- At least my car's okay.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh no, they stole his radio.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}(mysterious instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh, they stole his kneecaps.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Is it safe?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It's not safe.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Now, he's safe.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I got to call
my agent and try to

{\a1\pos(96,460)}get a hold of (mumbling).

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- They stole his dimes.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, and they stole
the camera dolly.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- It isn't safe, it isn't safe.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}They stole the
shoulder of the road.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Must find a dry cleaners.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Got to (groans).

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, hey stop, stop
I need a new girlfriend.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, thanks anyway.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There's probably another
car over the hill.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Okay (imitates crying).

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Mom, dad?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I don't want to be a
grownup sidehacker anymore.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(imitates crying)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Sure, Luke.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Rommel.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}What the hell happened to you?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- It was Patton,
he read my book.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Rommel?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Well, hate to
bleed and run but...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Rommel, come back!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You magnificent,
oh, let him go.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, I can talk
to you Mr. Tree.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh magic lock, take
me to the freeway.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}("Only Love" by The New Life)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Poor guy.
(long sighing)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Rita used to like
coming to the highway.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(imitates crying)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I need another band-aid
for my broken heart.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(imitates crying)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We used to come here
and club seals together.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(imitates crying)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh and even these oil fields
seem to remind me of her.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I can't put my finger on it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(humming along to music)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Only love,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that's the fields.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I think I look like
Robert Conway, don't you?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(humming to music)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Only love,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that's the fields.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- For those of you playing
along at home, Rita is dead.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Right.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- (panting)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, who am I trying to kid?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's no fun without a girl.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(humming to music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I'm making this up.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(humming to music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- They used to sit there.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Only love,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}that's the field.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, I looked at
this already, I forgot.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(chuckles) Cookie.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, I'm getting
over it already.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Just 'cause she was
murdered, brutally murdered.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(imitates crying)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Cramped up in this
lousy motel for two weeks.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I got to get out, I
can't breathe, Gooch.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey look, I'm a mirror,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I can't talk.
- A second longer

{\a1\pos(33,460)}the cops are bound to find me.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Look for a place I can hide.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The mountains, maybe.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Make a reservation
at Grossinger's.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Just get me out!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Whoa.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- No one will find me here,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I'll climb in a corner pocket.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- What are you planning to do?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Eight ball, corner pocket.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What would you do?
- No, I'm in there.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Kill him.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I will kill him!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We talked to the
police and they're

{\a1\pos(117,460)}out looking for JC now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And some call them pig.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's their job, Rommel,
let them handle it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- It may be their job, but
what have they done so far?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Nothing.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Well, there's
the roads, highways.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You've got to snap out of it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You've been playing
nine ball all day,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}play air hockey.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Why don't you
come back to work

{\a1\pos(96,460)}so you can get your
mind off of it?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You ever read
the Bible, Luke?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- No, but I saw the movie.
- There's an old

{\a1\pos(12,460)}passage about an eye for an eye.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I'm not much
for the classics.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've only read your book
you magnificent bastard.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You ever read that one?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- They're going to
bust you wide open.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Let me think about that.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Like a pinata.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It counterdicts itself.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}One minute it tells you
to turn another cheek,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}then it tells you
to take an eye.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, that's when
you run out of cheeks.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I guess it depends
on which end you read.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- If you start from the back,
it's even more confusing.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Rommel.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You didn't have
your feet on the floor.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- There's nothing
you can do about it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Like I said, depends
on which end you read.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(imitates squeaking)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I guess pool is the answer.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I don't worry about my
girlfriend's murder.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Eight ball, corner pocket.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Hey, you know, I'm playing
my way through my grief.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Every shot I get
better and better.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Now since this film
isn't going anywhere,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}why don't we all play pool?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hmm?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Huh?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Say...

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I found a couple of boys.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}They're willing to ride with us,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}but there's one little problem.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- One of them's six years
old and the other's 11.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- They're short on funds.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}They don't care what they do,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}as long as they get paid for it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I need some money.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- What for?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- To finish these monkey bars.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm buying myself
a little help.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- You thought
about county girls?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Still going to
go after JC, huh?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- PDQ, ASAP.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- But, if you
think I'm going to

{\a1\pos(33,460)}finance your war, you're nuts.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It just may work.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, Luke, come on now,
we want to talk to you.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Right over here, director
wants to do another set up.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come on, see what I mean?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'll give you the note
to my part of the shop

{\a1\pos(96,460)}so that if anything
happens to me,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}you can still get
your money back.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- I don't give a damn
about your part of the shop.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}If anything happened to you,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}your part of the shop
wouldn't mean a thing.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Now look, you can go
fussing and hollering all--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- How come they
get louder as they

{\a1\pos(96,460)}get closer to the camera?
- Now either you help me

{\a1\pos(96,460)}or I'll be looking
someplace else.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, I'm afraid
you're going to

{\a1\pos(54,460)}have to look someplace else.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Taxi, tax--?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, I drove, I forgot.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Okay, that's
I go to the bank,

{\a1\pos(183,460)}I go to the dry
cleaners, get some lunch,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}kill JC's gang--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Salvage the film here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Why doesn't he
just sell his car?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- This is the vengeance music.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What can I do for you?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I ran a little
short this month.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Give you a good
deal on some tools.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Don't need them.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- They're not for eating.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- They're worth 50 bucks.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I'll let you have them for 35.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I just don't need them.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- He said you're not
supposed to eat them.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- 25 and I'll throw
in my spare tire.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Why didn't you
just say tires?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}We love tires.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Now, I'll give
you $5 if you have

{\a1\pos(201,460)}a hard-boilded
egg in your purse.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You got a 10?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, I got a 10.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You got a pretty nice tan
yourself, brother of mine.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Been on the truck awhile.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- With what you're paying?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I wouldn't sweat it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- A little warm.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- All I got is 10s.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Give me those.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Thanks.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Not.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Now Jake, that's
all the man's got.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And I gave him my word.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}But $200 I wouldn't even move.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I couldn't.
- Eeee.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Now, Jake...

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I don't even
know what he said.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Why, thank you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Did you ever see Big
Jake break a man's back?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- No, but once I saw
a bear drinking a soda.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Uh oh.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- You hit me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yep, sure did.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Did you see what he did?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, he hit you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I saw the whole
thing, what happened.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yep.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He hit Big Jake.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, he hit him.
- He hit ya.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- If you're Big
Jake, you get yield.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I ought to break your back!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, you crushed my
sternum, (mumbling).

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- When do we start?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Is this your way of haggling?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Two, three days
at the most (coughs).

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Look, I said
I'd give you $200.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What is she, oh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- It is massive.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Always work these
brushes into a fine point.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You could kill
a man with them.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- It helps bring out
the detail in my work.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- He's going to hire a painter?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Will that bring Rita back?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Paint a picture of her.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- It'll last longer.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- That's as close as you're
ever going to get to her again.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Rita?

{\a1\pos(183,460)}Oh yeah, dead
girlfriend, right, right.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- She's gone.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, I'd pay the
devil to replace her.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Another place.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Dead, bloated,
worm food, you know.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- We don't have to worry
about our hangups here anymore.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Okay, okay, note to myself,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}don't talk to an artist.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- All they got time to know
and understand is themselves.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Uh, so is that a yes?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- (mumbling)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You don't want
her here, do you?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}People find their
own bag, get in it.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Here's my bag under here, oh.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Nice.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Whoa.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yep.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, how did the
laughing audition go?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You're saying he's
coming after me by himself?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, and the word is out

{\a1\pos(33,460)}he's buying himself some help.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He doesn't think the
law is doing its job.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Who, who's he buying?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Nero, two and three others.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- A pop of a pauper,
a pawn, and a king.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Each time he finds
himself flat on his face.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, you know the rest.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- That Rommel, he just don't
learn too easy, does he?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I gave him the light, man.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- And he just kept doing time.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I tried to show him the way.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I was like a brother to him.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Not a good brother.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now Gooch, Gooch tell me--

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- It's Gooch.
- Did I love Rommel?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hm, did I love him?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}My own flesh I
don't love better!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He gets this way if he
doesn't kill every day.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'm not good enough for him.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}How many times did I ask him to

{\a1\pos(222,460)}ride with me?
- You got a little

{\a1\pos(201,460)}up there, man.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- He says, "No."

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh mama.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Could be he's trying to
bring me out in the open.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We'll see what kind
of game he's playing.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Othello, Hungry Hungry Hippo,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Shoots and Ladders,
Candy Land, maybe?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Uh, Milborne, Uno, Monopoly,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Risk, Trivial Pursuit?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, you're so tense.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(imitates sensual music)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- We get rid of him,
then there's no witnesses.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- JC, we've had enough trouble.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Please, let's just
get out of here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You dare mock me!?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- He tries to put the make
on you so I paid him back!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}How'd I know she
was going to die?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Uh, 'cause you killed her.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Ain't that right, honey?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Tell me, ain't it right!?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Can you repeat the
question please, Peter?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Damn you all to
hell! (imitates kissing)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, yeah, everything's
better now, hurt is gone.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I want you to get
ahold of the other boys.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Tell them to meet me
here, to bring guns,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}whatever they can
get their hands on.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Wear in loose
fitting clothes,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}dress to move, have a
two-minute song prepared.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Gooch, Gooch come here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- That's Cooch, sir.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Sit down.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Take your shoes
off, sit a spell.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I trust you, my
friend, I trust you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}We've had a lot
of runs together.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, remember that
dinner in Tijuana?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, I made a run for
the border that night,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}my little compadre.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You always stick by me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now, I need you, Gooch.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I want him.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You need me,
but you want him?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, I'll get him.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No, you got to get in

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and you bring Rommel to me.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yeah, I will.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I will do it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- But it's got to look right.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- I will.
- I will.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Let him know
where I'm hiding.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- I will.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I will do it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Make him think you
would ask for this.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I am, okay, I will.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- But baby, its
got to look right.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You know I'd do
anything for you, JC.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Would you kill a guy?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Anything.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Fine, I know.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I'll do it.
(punching)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(uptempo instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And so they drove
to the power station

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and there was nothing
left of the world

{\a1\pos(12,460)}after the Robot Holocaust.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I know a weiner man,
he owns a hot dog stand,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}he gives me anything
from weiners--

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Key change.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Where'd you say he was?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He must have forgot
we're going after him.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- PCH.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, look at the moon,
it must be dark out.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Oh my.
(imitates howling)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, look how
dark it is tonight.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's really something.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And the crickets?
Yeah, add some crickets.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- If it was dark you could.
(imitates crickets)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, I said left
at the Dairy Queen.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I guess it was too dark.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- They don't even
have their lights on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's so dark out,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}they don't need their
lights, I guess.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- They're breaking the law.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- See, once I kill a guy,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}then this'll become
a sidehack track.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What do you think?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- That's nice.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Hey Gooch, what's the deal?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- We better wait
here 'till morning.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, it's too dark
now, can't see a thing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's why I'm squinting.
- Why not tonight?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'm too tired.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You know, JC likes his booze.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Loves to have his fun.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- You hit him in the morning,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}he won't know what happens.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Or that means he'll be
really drunk right now, right?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- (sighs) What can I say?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- How about, "I'm sorry"?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Well, I still think
we should go under the

{\a1\pos(117,460)}cloak of darkness but,
we'll do it your way.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's so dark out
tonight, I mean--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, I'm glad it's dark.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You can't tell my hat
looks like Jiffy Pop.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, his hat looks
like Jiffy Pop too.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Buttered and un-buttered.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Please, Luke, don't do it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Lois, go back in the house.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- We'll call the
police from here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Honey, I owe Rommel more
than a call to the police.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- What?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- What about me and the kids?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- The kids can come too.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Bring their jammies,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}put them on the top of the car.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- It's too dangerous, don't go.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Billy, don't be a hero.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey look, he's
sporting a woody.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, classic styling.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Welp bye, honey.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Don't wait up, I'll be dead.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Write if you get work.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, turn your lights on.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- It's dark out, remember?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's dark.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Idiot.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- This ol' boy
got thirsty, see?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And he just talks
to the sink, see.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now, the first night he's there,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}his cellmate walks
over to the bars

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and he yells out, "Number nine!"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, not this--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah, we know,
you can't tell people

{\a1\pos(54,460)}you can't tell a joke, yeah.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I loath him.
- Number 12!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And the whole place
wakes up again, see?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}So, this new boy turns to
his cellmate and he says,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Hey, man, what is
with this number bit?"

{\a1\pos(201,460)}So, the old con
tells him, he says,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"That's the way we tell
jokes around here."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now, everybody here
knows every joke,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}so we just give them a number.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, yeah we know,

{\a1\pos(225,460)}we know.
- And when we feel like

{\a1\pos(117,460)}telling a joke, we just
yell out a number, see?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yeah, I heard
Tipadada used to do a

{\a1\pos(33,460)}number one that was a killing.
- This new boy

{\a1\pos(138,460)}decides he's going to
tell himself a joke, see?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yawn.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- So, he walks up to the farm

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and he yells out,
"Number eight!"

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, I get it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh wait, that's not it.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh, that's not the punchline?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No.
- Not a peep out of

{\a1\pos(201,460)}the cellblock.
- There's more.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I mean, don't nobody laugh.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, he turns to the
old con and he says--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Just kill this guy

{\a1\pos(222,460)}for practice.
- Hey, man,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}how come nobody laughed?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Maybe 'cause it wasn't funny.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, how I loath him.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- So, the old con looked at him

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and he says...
- I know what you mean.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- And he says...
- Just keep listening.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'll try to make
the most of it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He says, he says,
- He's not half bad.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}face it, boy (laughter)...
- Nice big one.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Keep him talking, I'll
hit him over the head

{\a1\pos(222,460)}with a rock.
- Let's face it, boy,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}some people can tell
a joke and some can't.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- And you can't.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, say, did you
ever hear the one about

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the fag and the shaved dog?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Huh, what?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Shaved dog?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Man, you putting
me on, ain't ya?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- No, no this guy
comes in a bar,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to borrow his dog, see--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Is that the one
where the dog pins the

{\a1\pos(180,460)}bartender to the
floor and he says,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}"Bowsy wowsy"?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- No, he says,
"Who shot my paw?"

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yeah I did, I
remember it, bah!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}How about that?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Did you ever hear
about the stupid hillbilly

{\a1\pos(33,460)}that got killed in the dessert
by a bunch of bad guys?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- The one with the
big stick, right?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- If Nero here rides with me,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm going to hold this
pole out like here, see,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}just like a white knight.
- I prefer

{\a1\pos(96,460)}observation humor.
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I say the best
way is hand to hand.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hit him hard and fast.
- Hand to mouth.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- If you was built like
me you wouldn't say that.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Like a tree frog?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Remember what
Rommel said: no guns.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, that wasn't a good
policy for the German army.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- What's the matter, Gooch?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Afraid to die?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- A little.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Who needs them?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Me, that's who.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Suppose that JC's
sitting down there

{\a1\pos(96,460)}with a little army.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- A little plastic army?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Those plastic army men?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- There's no way for
him to move, no way.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yes way.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Us or the law gets him.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Maybe you got
a better way, huh?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, yes I do, I happen
to have a lot of ideas.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I've catered many of
these events before

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and you'd be surprised
of the provacative

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and useful ideas you
can come up with.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, Rommel boy?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yes rock stupid
hillbilly boy?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- What if this JC's sitting
down there with a little army?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Uh, promise no more jokes

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and I'll tell you what you
- Hey, Gooch,

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- want to know.
- How many boys does he have?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- It's Gooch, Gooch.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Nothing to worry about.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Nothing to worry about, huh?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- What about the
Middle East crisis?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That's got to bother
you a little bit.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I figure JC's going to be

{\a1\pos(96,460)}sitting down there
waiting for us.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I think he knows when
we're coming too.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}What we got to do is
sneak in and grab him.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Once I got JC, there's no reason

{\a1\pos(96,460)}for his boys to fight us.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Unless they want him back.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Jake and me
will go down first.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You, you'll die later.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- What are you going to do
when you get your hands on him?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'm still thinking about it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- What if you don't?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, now suppose
he grabs you first?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Then you lead.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well then, you boys are
going to earn your money.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Crapa, you and
Gooch take the side.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Crapper?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, Rom?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I had this idea about using
this pole as a battering ram.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Good one.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Allowing Nero to ride.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We were thinking
of using it as a

{\a1\pos(96,460)}suppository on you.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- You come in
from the back side.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Cause as much
confusion as you can.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- So, what else is new?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Do that stupid joke of yours,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that ought to hold them.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Gooch, you play it by ear.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Then betray us.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Just wait a
minute, Rommel, boy,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}what the hell are we
gonna do if they got guns?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Die, I guess.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Yeah, sure.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Get your butt out of there.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- That's a good idea.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Hey, yeah that's a good idea.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Heck, I was weaned
on paint thinner,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that's why I didn't think
of that (goofy laughing).

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hey you guys,
how about a flipping

{\a1\pos(180,460)}for little odds,
what do you say?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Nobody wanna,
forget your odds, man.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(overlapping chatter)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Shadow of death.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}And so, the Apostle
Peter awoke with the sun

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and verily he heard a voice,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}"A cock will cry three times
before you betray Rommel."

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And I just remembered
it's like 12 noon,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and they still make them sleep,
this is a really dumb camp.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Right foot, left foot,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}biggest damn thing in the case.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Christian squeaks,
firing, fiddling, Rome.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We're rocks and we're
smarter than this cast.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Let's get out of here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Come on, we better go.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm really tired
of this movie.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Come on, you guys.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(doors closing)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Boy, that Rommel
guys is really cool.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I wish we could
be more like him.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yeah, well we
can never be him,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}all we can do is
try to emulate him

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and tell others the
good news about Rommel.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I read his book, you know,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}he is a magnificent bastard.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}But in it, they
had the patterns on

{\a1\pos(12,460)}how to make this super cool hat.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Check them out, you guys.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Gimme, gimme, gimme.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- They're really cool, yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And there's a lot
of neat things here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Love is good.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Anyway, there's a lot
of neat things you can do

{\a1\pos(96,460)}as Rommel, like obviously
go sidehacking, you know.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Or, you can take your
refrigerator around the world.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Right, that's a good idea.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Or, you can entertain
guests at your summer home.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, and then there's
running through the woods

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and rolling down hills
with your best girl, Rita.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(dissonant guitar)

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Ah, Rita!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Aw, man, come on, Crow.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}In every life a
little rain must fall.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let's try to concentrate
on some of the

{\a1\pos(138,460)}more positive things
here about Rommel.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, don't forget
the fun he had

{\a1\pos(96,460)}playing with his mechanic
pal, playing pool

{\a1\pos(138,460)}to forget about what
happened to his girl, Rita.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(dissonant guitar)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Aw, you got to take it easy.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Come on, there's still a lot of

{\a1\pos(180,460)}really neat stuff
that Rommel did.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Like, remember that time he got

{\a1\pos(222,460)}really crazy
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- and went into
town to raise money

{\a1\pos(33,460)}to get those crazed killers to

{\a1\pos(117,460)}go and avenge the death
of his girlfriend, Rita?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(crying)
(dissonant guitar)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Come on, Joel,
snap out of it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Joel, quick, think of
something to cheer him up.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Think of a joke.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, yeah right.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Uh, hey, Joel?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Number eight.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh, I've been too tense, man.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Yeah, that's a good one,
that's funny all right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Ah, something coming
in on the view screen.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}No, that's not a joke, actually.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No really, there's a
ship coming into range.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh no, you just can't
tell them the way Crow can.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No he's right, Joel,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}there's a ship
coming into range.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- (laughs) He did it
again, that just kills me.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}He's so funny.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Wait a minute, there
is a ship out there

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and it's got a sidehack on it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, who are you?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh come on, Rommel,
you know who I am,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm JC from the planet
Five The Hard Way.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now look, baby, our
senses have indicated that

{\a1\pos(138,460)}you've been watching
the Sidehack movie,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}hey, which is cool, man.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You know, we were even
going to bring you cats

{\a1\pos(12,460)}back down to Earth, but then you

{\a1\pos(54,460)}had to go and be like Rommel.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh no, we don't
want to be like Rommel.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- No, we don't
want to be like him.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(overlapping chatter)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Then why are you wearing
those stupid hats, baby?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I don't know, what do you
have against Rommel anyway?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I tried to show him the way,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I tried to show him the light.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I was like a brother to him.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now Cooch, Cooch tell me,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}did I love Rommel, did I, huh?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- That's Gooch!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Right, right, Gooch, look,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}man, I loved him.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}My own flesh I
don't love better!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}But I wasn't good
enough for him.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}How many times I asked
him to ride with me?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He just said no.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I want you to do
something for me, Cooch.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I want you to do something, I
want you to get Rommel for me.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Get him, get him man, get him.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- I will.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- All right, good.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I will get him.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Cool, baby.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I will get him.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Just get him.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I will get him.
- Would you get...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Go, get Rommel, go.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Get Rommel.
- I will.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I will get him.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Wonder what they wanted.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I wonder, exactly,
what's going on.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Man, I hate to
say it, but for being

{\a1\pos(54,460)}marooned on a satellite, it's
sure getting busy around here.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.
- That's true.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I know that Rommel guy
has a lot on his mind.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're just not the types
to be carrying around that

{\a1\pos(12,460)}kind of psychological pain
and emotional baggage.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, you're right, let's
go watch the rest of the movie.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- There's more movie?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(dissonant guitar)
(crying)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(uptempo instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughter)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Gooch, I knew
you'd come, numero.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Number eight maybe,
that was really funny.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- We got him!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You know that old rock
quarry where I was

{\a1\pos(117,460)}going to hide, the one
with the tin shack?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You tell Rommel that's
where I'm hiding.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You bring him there
in the morning.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}The rest of us will be waiting.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- What for?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I had a hard time
getting out of there.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Cooch.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Coochy, coochy, cooch.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You're my back.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- He's insane, not everything
he says has to make sense.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.
- Huh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(drum rolling)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- And we'll be right
back after this message.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- (laughs) We got him, honey.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Eee.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I got him.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Great.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Um, you kiss like a duck.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Honey, your mere touch
makes me physically ill.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Don't talk with
your mouth full.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I feel my lunch is coming up.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I've got to
get away from you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- All of a sudden you've
got to get away, hun?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Where do you think
you're going to go?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I met a nice guy
called Ike Turner.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You don't know what
you're talking about.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I know exactly what
I'm talking about.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- (laughs) You know, you know

{\a1\pos(96,460)}you were dying for me to

{\a1\pos(201,460)}take you out of
that one horse town.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- She's from Chicago.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You know, sometimes
I think you're crazy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What would you do
without me, huh?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I guess she'd heal.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I don't know, but
at least I wouldn't

{\a1\pos(180,460)}have to be doing
anything I didn't feel.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Uh oh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, that hurt.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- And that was a
romantic don't.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Maybe you better explain
more about those feelings.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And be specific,
use specific examples.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- In fact, you seemed
to like the whole scene.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Are you trying
to tell me you were

{\a1\pos(180,460)}playing some kind
of game in bed?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, Parcheesi, and I lost

{\a1\pos(96,460)}a lot of my game pieces.
- Now I want out.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I don't know who I despise
more, you or myself.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Or the devil or Chuck Logan.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(yelling)
(slapping)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Is that a bad topic?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I suppose you'd
like it with Rommel?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Do your part, huh, huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Or maybe it was the
other way around, huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- They don't have a
healthy relationship.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Not at all.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I'll show you what.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Or was it the other way around?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Um, could you let
go of my wind pipe?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm supposed to leave.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Routine 37.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I can't believe
that (mumbling).

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, that's an automatic
three day suspension.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, I'm really glad
it's just a movie,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}they're just actors.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- The money's in the, ahh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Cops is filmed on location.
- I don't want to

{\a1\pos(96,460)}make you do things
you can't feel.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What'd you say that for?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- JC is wanted by the FBI.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}He should be considered
armed and stupid.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Did I tell you about
the rabbits, George?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I don't like it when
you say things like that.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- I think they're
communicating a lot better now.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You didn't mean it, did you?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I know you're sorry, baby.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}I'm not mad.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I'm just drawn that way.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Come on, baby, talk to me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Talk to me, baby.
- Now that you're dead,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I can tell you about a
thousand wonderful lovers--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Say hello to
the folks, Bubby.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Hello, folks.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I will kill you!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, I guess I did.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Slow, slow.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Blah blah, slow slow

{\a1\pos(180,460)}slow slow, blah.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, nice sweater.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Slow.
- Slow.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Blah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Huh, he really is bad.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He's biting his nails,
that's really disgusting.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Slow.
- Slow.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You're no better than JC
if you go through with this.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Luke, I'm going to
tell you something.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's easy for you to
come out here preaching

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to me about what I
should or shouldn't do.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- And what you shouldn't wear.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- There's only one
difference, it wasn't Lois.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ah, Tony Tinell
wants her hat back.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Maybe you're
right, I don't know,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but give yourself some
time and think it out.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- McCloud!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- There's only one
thing I can think about.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, my next line.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- JC.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hey, Rommel?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- You magnificent son of a--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Gooch is back.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- And there's gonna be trouble.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey la lee la.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Is it still dark?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I'm Cooch and
I'm gonna go hide

{\a1\pos(12,460)}in a little (mumbling), and
then I'm gonna cover myself up,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and leave my little
butt hanging out, yeah.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, let's go kill him.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Good morning, dummy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Wake up and die.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- (imitates snoring) Oh, hi.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You trust him?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- What?
- What?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- What did I do?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- What, I didn't do anything.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- What's the bit?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What's the deal,
I didn't do nothing?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I go to the bush and you
guys make a big deal out of it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- He went to the
bush for two hours.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- For what?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We've been sitting here over
an hour waiting for you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You moonlighting on us, boy?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Reading a magazine.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Geez, you know.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I say he's a spy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I think he's a sailor.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Is that true, boy?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Huh, you settin' us up?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Come on, man,
it's a bad joke.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- (chuckles) You
know, number 12.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Nope.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, what are you
guys trying to do?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wear this hat.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Here, I'll find out.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- This ought to jog his memory.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You got something to say?
(yelling)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Put me down you
son of a bitch!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Uh, no, that's
the wrong answer

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but thanks for playing.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Easy, Cooch.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- It's Gooch.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Here, grandpa, catch.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- You guys are cra-- (groans).

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- True boy, true.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Son of a...

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You magnificent son
of a... (groans).

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You going to
tell me where he is?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- There's nothing to
tell, I went to the brush.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Now listen, I'm going
to ask you one more time.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Where is he?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I don't know where he is.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}He's up at the town, I swear.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I've got nowhere
else to go!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'm a lot
smarter now, thanks.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Rock quarry, rock quarry.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}He told me to bring you
there in the morning.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You got a little
on your nose.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Now, what's he going
to do after we get there?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Uh, have a late breakfast.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- All he told me was to
bring you there, that's all.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Did he say anything
about what time?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I like to be prompt.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Grab him, tie him up.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- And don't be afraid
to use a granny knot.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'm sure glad you've
come back old buddy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I never met a spy before.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Just tie him up
and make it snappy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Luke, I'd like
you to do me a favor.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- We really are good
friends, aren't we?

{\a1\pos(204,460)}- What?
- Stand a little closer.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I want to bring
the police out here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You mean, I've finally
gotten through to you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yep, you finally
got through to me.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Well, it's about time,
let's get the hell outta here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Now I know where he's at,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm not letting him get away.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Okay, but don't
you start nothing.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I'll be back in an hour or so.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Okay, I won't start
nothing, I promise.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We'll meet you at the
rock quarry, okay?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Okay.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}(uptempo instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- And then things
got really weird.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Acid Canyon.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}(mysterious instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Now, this is how
you do a monkey.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And you crouch a little
lower to do an orangutan.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Just as I suspected.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This is where they shot
the Love Shack video.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Pitiful.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}(imitates percussion)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I got a bike that's
as big as a whale!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Get him with
the 10 foot pole,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}that'll work really well, yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hmm, moose track.
Two, three day old.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You think you've got problems,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'm not even supposed
to be in this film.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Gary Collins, today
at four on Hour Magazine.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Hey, it's Cheech Marin, huh.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Poison still fresh.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}(mysterious instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'm a little rabbit,
sneaky, sneaky, sneaky.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's the cap snaffler.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- It really, really works.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, don't grab his
gun, no guns, uh uh.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}No bongos.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Is it hot out here
or is it just me?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- No sweaters.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Not allowed.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'll just walk under
the cover of this air here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I set my own trap,
then I go after him.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(yelling)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Have a little fire, scarecrow.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Shot with a tomato gun.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ooh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- No drumming, not allowed.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, they're playing
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}How annoying.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- JC!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}JC!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Whee.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- JC, JC!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Soylent Green is
made from people!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(guns firing)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Yeah, I'm quick on the draw.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Nice, huh?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yikes.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- You know, boy, I never did
think this thing would work.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ouch.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Come on now, let's
go, let's move it.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeehaw.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Get me a gun.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hey, they're
riding number 15.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That reminds me of a
joke, number 16 (chuckle).

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(suspenseful instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}(guns firing)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I kind of wish that
was the director there.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hm, okay, I just
changed my policy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Everybody use guns.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(laughing)
- Number 16.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- If the bullets don't kill
them, the music will.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Uh, more dead people.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Funny, huh?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}(guns shooting)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Got him again.
- Amazing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Came out of (mumbling).

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I know, too bad about
having to die like that.

{\a1\pos(246,460)}- Ah, our
contractual obligation

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to this movie is over.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- No guns?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}What the heck was I thinking?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, I'll just hide behind
these blades of grass here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}That's going to help.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Okay, okay I've got to
remember that I'm crazy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Note to myself, load guns
before killing spree.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Okay, yep.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}(suspenseful instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- That's right,
pretend you're hurt.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ouch.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Honey lips?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- What are we gonna
do now, lover!?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, what's that
supposed to mean,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}you're coming on to me?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- It's the end of the line!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I never met a general before!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Why don't you come on over,
we can get acquainted!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chuckles)

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You're not talking.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- And that hurts me,
we never talk anymore,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}you're so distant.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Where's the love?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Have nothing to say?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I'm sorry!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Wait, what am I apologizing for?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, this isn't gonna take
a licking, keep on ticking.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Only you understand me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- All right, all right!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You said that.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'm coming out!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'm coming out
and I don't have

{\a1\pos(12,460)}any jewelry or accessories.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I am Keyrock.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Just you and me!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And a dog named Boo!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Join me and all
this can be yours.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}So, it's been a while.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Good to see you again and all.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Yeah, hey,
what's been going on

{\a1\pos(12,460)}ever since you and I said--

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Huh!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, why didn't I
get out of his way?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(punching)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Routine 37, I
should have known.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- There he goes.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, there's a foreign
object in that ring.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Uh oh.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Meanwhile, 12,000 miles away,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Acrin's best speed toward the
hills of Southern California.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, Andy, faster.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(punching)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ow, that's my sore arm.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ow, that's not fair.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Whoa.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Aw, it hurts inside.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ayekeeba!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ayekeeba, huh!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- That'll teach
you to fall under

{\a1\pos(54,460)}a conveniently placed cable.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(chocking)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- So you think I
need bridge work, huh?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, okay.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(gasping for air)

{\a1\pos(204,460)}- I love you.
- Are you gonna sit down

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and work this thing out or what?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, what a karate chop to
the head, the neck, the body.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(mumbling)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(grunting)

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- A lot of grunting going on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I always did love you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}And he missed.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- They're in a rut.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- (grunting)

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'm sorry, what did you say?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, come, come
over to this other rut.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's better, isn't it?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, you took my thumb.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Charlie, you took
my thumb, Charlie.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Aw, Charlie.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Meanwhile on the
plains of Nebraska,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}the car speeds forward.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(grunting)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- That had to sting.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, that one really hurt.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You crushed it, you crushed
it, it hurts and stuff.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Throw him to the
ground, centurian.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You're lucky my chick's
not here, you know that?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Well okay, you bum.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}But if you do it again,
you get more of the same.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We didn't figure
this into the formula.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh.
- Okay, Paul.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, brother.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- What?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I hope this doesn't
happen when you die.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}That would really be upsetting.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- This was all supposed
to be a dream here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}How does that go down?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- So, I guess there's
not going to be

{\a1\pos(96,460)}anymore sidehacking, huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I don't think so.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Siedhacking on
a coffin, maybe.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Side coffin.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Is that possible?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- It's possible.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, that's clever.
- Didn't the Munster's car

{\a1\pos(12,460)}used to have a side coffin?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- No, no, grandpa
drove a coffin.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Yeah, that was
the dragster one

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and there was the
big town car one.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Are you trying to
change the subject?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- No, no.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'm impressed.
- Forever.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Only love.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I can't believe this.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- That's the fun.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- This film was also released
as Million Dollar Legs.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I thought so.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Isn't that Ginger
Rogers there I saw?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Most of her scenes were cut.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- There's those
Tessier sisters again.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Well, we better
get out of here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, our job is done.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- The Tessier goyals.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ha ha, get it?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}(doors slamming)

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh brother,
that was so crappy.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Boy, what a depressing film.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, talk about nihilism,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}that's the second
film in a row

{\a1\pos(180,460)}that had the hero
die in the end.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Boy, we're never
going to snap out of

{\a1\pos(96,460)}this existential dilemma.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, I was afraid
this would happen,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}so I brought this thing along.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- But, Joel, why
was the movie so bad?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, it was cool in the
beginning with the sidehacking,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}then it went right down
the drain and they had to

{\a1\pos(117,460)}pad out the rest of the
film with all that killing.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh no, Crow, it
wasn't killing that
padded out the film.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Only love pads the film.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ When sorries were young
and dreams were not done

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- And sorrow was so far away

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ A storybook scene
with songs to be sung

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ And life, life
was just for today

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, Joel.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ But nothing lasts forever

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Only love, pads the film

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Of all the dreams you treasure

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Only love, love
pads the film

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Joel, may I?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Please.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Love that you made
with two hearts as one

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Are flowers that
blow in the wind

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Crow?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ You give all you take

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- A day in the sun

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ But even the sun must descend

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Everybody now, come on.
- La la.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ But nothing lasts forever

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ Only love
(crying)

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ Pads the film

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Of all the dreams
you treasure (treasure)

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Only love pads the
film (pads the film)

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Aw, jifs.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Scientists are calling

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and now better get going.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}(crying)

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Listen to them up there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Singing and dancing their
dear little hearts out.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh those poor, I'm going
to bring them down.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, why don't we invite the

{\a1\pos(12,460)}entire King family in here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh and the cow's
frozen up with people.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, never mind.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And don't you have some
letters to read, pink boy?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, of course, I
got them right here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Let's see, Cambot, put
that one up on the screen.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, it's just print but
they should see it anyway.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}"For Joel, Tom Servo, and Crow."

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hey.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- "I'm 13 years old and my
family loves your show a lot.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Every time we watch it,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"we can't stop laughing."

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Aw.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- "The best I like
is the nice tag

{\a1\pos(180,460)}or nice dive, and
the bot sitcom.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"Well you might need a
calculator," he says.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You remember that,
when you said--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh yeah, sure.
- The twins.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- "And when Tom Servo,
Crow, sometimes Gypsy

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"play when they have
to tell something good

{\a1\pos(117,460)}"and play bad about the
movie for gram chips."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, he thought they're--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He things they're
called gram chips.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We all know gram chips.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- "But anyway, that's from
With Laughs from Chris Tacket."

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Maybe we can do a good thing

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and a bad thing
about that letter.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You got a good thing to say?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- The good thing is, well--

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Gram chips.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, I'm just so
full of love right now,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I can't say a bad thing

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Chris, I love you.
- What about you?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Got a bad thing to
say about that letter?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Uh, the printing's nice.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Okay, that's a bad thing?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Uh, yeah.
- Of course.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}If you've seen Joel write--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Anyway, let's put that.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Cambot, let's put that
address up on the screen,

{\a1\pos(117,96)}- and Tom Servo, do the
mighty voiceover, please.

{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Okay, send your
letters to the

{\a1\pos(96,96)}- Mystery Science Theater
3000 Information Club.

{\a1\pos(96,96)}- That's post office box
5325 Hopkins Minnesota.

{\a1\pos(201,68)}- Zip is 55343.

{\a1\pos(180,68)}And we love you.

{\a1\pos(201,96)}- Okay, and the
next one, Cambot,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}put this one up on still store.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, nice.
- This one says,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"Dear Go," which is Joel.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"Servo and Crow."

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hey.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- "I really like SF and I
don't mean San Francisco."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- (chuckles) A
little joke there.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- "And I like Tom Surbo best."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's Tom Servo, by the way.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I'm glad you're reminding.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- "Because he's cute."

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Aww.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- "I like Crow because
he always makes me laugh.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}"I would really like for
another robot to be on the show,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}"but not a boy or a girl.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}"I would like her
to look like, PS,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"I drew a picture on
the back but I want

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"one girl for Crow."

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- "Here she is.
- Yeah, me too.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"One for you, Joel."

{\a1\pos(138,460)}But it's kind of just
Gypsy, a redesign of Gypsy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We've already got
a girl here, silly.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- We love Gypsy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Anyway, I guess
that ought to do it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What do you think, sirs?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I think I liked it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, until next
time, Joel Ackerson.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Go ahead, Frank,
push the button.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- I will.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Well push it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I will push the button.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Push the button, Frank.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I will push the button.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Just push the button.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- I will.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Push.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- I will.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Make one of these--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I will push the button

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- And do this.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I will push the button.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(slow instrumental music)

{\a1\pos(96,460)}(electronic beeps)

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