Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988–1999): Season 2, Episode 13 - The Black Scorpion - full transcript

{\a1\pos(12,460)}THEME SONG: In the not too
distant future, next Sunday AD,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}there was a guy named Joel, not
too different from you or me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}He worked at Gizmonic
Institute, just

{\a1\pos(12,432)}another face in a red jumpsuit.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He did a good job
cleaning up the place,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}but his bosses didn't like him,
so they shot him into space.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We'll send him cheesy movies,
the worse we can find,

{\a1\pos(180,432)}la la la.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He'll have to sit
and watch them all,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}then we'll monitor
his mind, la la la.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Now keep in mind Joel can't
control when the movies begin

{\a1\pos(96,460)}or end, la la la,
because he used

{\a1\pos(117,460)}those special parts to
make his robot friends.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Robot roll call.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Cambot, pan left.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Gypsy, hi girl.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I Tom Servo, what a cool guy.
Croooow!

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Wisecracker.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}If you're wondering how he eats
and breaths and other science

{\a1\pos(54,460)}facts, la la la, then repeat
to yourself it's just a show,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I should really just relax for
Mystery Science Theater 3000.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I should really just relax for
Mystery Science Theater 3000.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}MAGIC VOICE: 30 seconds
to Commercial Sign.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Hey, everybody, it's me.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}It's Joel.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I'm marooned out in outer
space, and now you're

{\a1\pos(33,432)}trapped in the vacuum with me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The robots are throwing
me a little party today.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}MAGIC VOICE: Commercial
Sign in 15 seconds.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Uh, we're expecting a call from
the evil scientists who shot us

{\a1\pos(96,460)}into space for the
invention exchange,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}but until then, we're going
to party like it's 1990.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}MAGIC VOICE:
Commercial Sign in 5,

{\a1\pos(33,432)}4, 3, 2-- Commercial Sign now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-We're going to be back
in a matter of seconds,

{\a1\pos(180,432)}so stick around.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[music playing]

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-Hey, what did you guys spike
this punch with, anyway?

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-It's, uh, 10W-30 and Tang.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}-Oh!

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Act like your parents are home.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}The scientists are calling.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Come in, Joel, my little
free-floating clam bake.

{\a1\pos(306,432)}Oh--

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Hey, sir.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}What happened to you?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Well, we had a little
mishap in the lab this week.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We were trying to make
a cold fusion Walkman,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and I don't know what
happened, but-- well, you

{\a1\pos(96,432)}see what happened.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Anyway, well, Dr. Forrester
will be here in a second.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He's just trying to make
himself look presentable.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Just make with the invention
exchange, wild boy.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Oh, OK.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Well, this is an invention
in honor of the party today

{\a1\pos(33,432)}that the robots are throwing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}When I was a boy, I used
to play with one of these.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}All right.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}And now, uh, I'm a man.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}All right--

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Uh, what's your invention, sir?

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-It's-- never mind.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Are you OK, Clay?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Yes, Larry.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Remember, it's all in
the name of science.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Well, Joel, I guess our, uh,
little experiment this week

{\a1\pos(12,460)}is going to be a powerful
healing salve that will allow

{\a1\pos(180,460)}us to regain our
rugged good looks.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-And maybe our hair.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Nothing wrong with
my hair, Larry.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Jeepers.

{\a1\pos(96,96)}You guys look like
something from a Wes

{\a1\pos(12,68)}Craven's children's book.

{\a1\pos(306,68)}-Ew.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-(TOGETHER) Thank you.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-Well, your film today, Joel,
is called "Black Scorpion."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's a Mexican film with effects
by Ray Harryhausen, the man who

{\a1\pos(117,460)}brought you "The Seven
Voyages Of Sinbad."

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-It's with blue screen action
and jerky monster movement.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}At least there's no
recognizable talent in it.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Enjoy.
-Yep.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}[buzzer]

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Oh, we got Move Sign!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[yelling]

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Man, those scientists
really look terrible.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Hey, it's Krakatoa,
East of Java.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}Fentonville, East of Muncie.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Wow, is that a
crack house or what?

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-"Cops" is filmed on location.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}Everything you see is true.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Yellowstone, 1988.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Fire lay waste over 700,000
acres of pristine virgin pines.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Only one man can fight
these flames, Red Adair.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Fred Astaire?

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Hey, it's Universal Studios.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}NARRATOR: --that have
wrecked their homes

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and destroyed their lives.
-Beans!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}NARRATOR: And so
today, again they

{\a1\pos(138,460)}kneel, terrified and
helpless as a new volcano

{\a1\pos(36,460)}is created by the mysterious
and rebellious forces of nature.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}-Warning, broad-voiced
announcer users his mighty voice

{\a1\pos(201,460)}to put fear in
the viewer's mind.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}NARRATOR: Whole acres
of rich farmlands

{\a1\pos(180,460)}have cracked and
dropped from sight,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and millions of
tons of molten lava

{\a1\pos(54,432)}are roaring down the slopes.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Guys, get out of the way!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}That's why you're dying.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}NARRATOR: --University
of Mexico as the most

{\a1\pos(96,432)}violent of modern times.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}To the benighted citizenry
of this remote countryside--

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Let's make smores later.

{\a1\pos(306,432)}-OK.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Did you bring the kraut?

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-No, I left him in the Volvo.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}NARRATOR: --without
precedence, having reached

{\a1\pos(12,460)}a towering height of 9,000
feet within a few days.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-And then tragedy struck.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}We ran out of stock footage.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-into a wider circumference.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}But what is now most feared--
-Is it soup yet?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}NARRATOR: What is
now most feared

{\a1\pos(96,460)}is that rescue work will
be severely hampered

{\a1\pos(57,460)}by the hazardous
inaccessibility of the terrain.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-The wavy title!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Something tells me this movie
is about our friendly neighbors

{\a1\pos(201,432)}to the south.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Uh, Tom, there's
no south in space.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Carlos Muzquiz.
Pascual Pena.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Fanny Schiller.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Pedro Galvan.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Duncan and Blees.
Lindon.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Edmund Fitzgerald?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}This must be his wreck.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-That's, uh, Edward.

{\a1\pos(306,432)}-Ah.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Sawtell!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Melford and Deitz.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Ed Ludwig.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Now junior, we're just looking
for place to picnic here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Now I know Gary's buried
around here someplace.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Look around for
that shallow grave.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Well, there she is.
-Mom?

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yeah.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Funny, it looks
like a volcano to me.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Hey, why does he need a pipe?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Why doesn't he just
suck in some air?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Feel the pumice power
go to work on your lungs.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-and that volcano looks as
far away as it ever did.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Nobody's stuck a
gun in your back

{\a1\pos(12,432)}to make you become a geologist.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Yeah, but you don't
have to rub it in.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Hey, look.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Looks like it's from
the old "MASH" set.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-You know, if there's any
other village within 50 miles

{\a1\pos(12,460)}of here, a sign like this
could confuse people.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}-Huh?
I don't get it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Ah, it looks like somebody else
has been through here lately.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Army truck, maybe.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Police.
-Hey, wait.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}That's my motorman's helper.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Don't get me wrong, doc.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I love this Mexico
of yours, but--

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Well, I like my Mexico better.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}Got a little plastic burrow?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}It's neat.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-How did you get
permission so fast?

{\a1\pos(117,432)}For my group, I mean.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}After all, red tape
and that sort of thing.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Simple.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Just told them the
truth, that you

{\a1\pos(180,460)}needed me along
as an interpreter.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-And to mop up your sweat.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-That may be true, but I
think the language you really

{\a1\pos(138,460)}spoke best was with
our secretary who

{\a1\pos(180,460)}secured all the
document for you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Oh, I didn't use
Spanish with her.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-I used Greek.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It really confused
the hell out of her.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Incredible, truly, isn't it?

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-What, the screen behind us?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-If these estimates
are right, this quake

{\a1\pos(96,460)}may be as severe as Mt.
Pelee--

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-This driving effect?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Vesuvius, San Francisco.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Lucky there are so
few people up here.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Well, there were enough.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Meanwhile, on a pole somewhere.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Oh, hi, linesman.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-How far have you come, fellas?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Mexico City.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}We left on Monday.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Where do you want to go?
-San Lorenzo.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}How far is it, do you know?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Who knows how the bridges are?

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-The bridges "jar"?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-A police car went by
just before sundown.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}They didn't come back, so
maybe they got through OK.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Was San Lorenzo hurt badly?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Who knows?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The telephone line's all
down since the earthquake.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Thanks a lot.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}See you later.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-Take it easy.
-Goodbye!

{\a1\pos(201,432)}See you later!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-So long!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Auf wiedersehen!

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Hasta luego!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Boy, am I hungry.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Is that my stomach
growling or yours?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-What the devil was that?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-I don't know.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-The devil.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Ordinarily I've got nothing
against moonlit nights,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}but I'll be glad
to get by this one.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}[engine rumbling]

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-What kind of oil
mixture do you use?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-Looks like a
farmhouse up ahead.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Maybe we can get
some water up there.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-I hope so.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'd like to save those
last two bottles of beer.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-(ALL SINGING) Two bottles
of beer in the jeep,

{\a1\pos(138,432)}two bottles of beer.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Take one down, pass it
around, one bottle--

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Beer in the jeep.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-I'll just move this
high voltage power

{\a1\pos(96,460)}line with of this
piece of metal.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Just let me dip
it in water first.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[music playing]

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-A little gas station
never looked better.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}-Hello!
Anybody home?

{\a1\pos(33,432)}I'll see if I can find a well.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Hey, hello in there!

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-(TOGETHER) Hello, out there!

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Looking for our jeep!

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Nope, we don't need a jeep.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}Nah-ah.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Hey, hi!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-(TOGETHER) Hi!

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Come here!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Look at this.
-So?

{\a1\pos(117,432)}It's a pile of bricks.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}See them all the time.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Hey, another pile of
bricks, and a card that

{\a1\pos(117,460)}says, "Black Scorpion
Wrecking Services."

{\a1\pos(138,432)}What could it mean?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Look at that!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Wow, it's a car!

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Hey, that's make a cool fort.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Yeah, it's a '55 Ford.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}With a little work,
could be cherry.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yeah, we chop it, drop
it, add some Thrush pipes.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}It'll be great!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-I certainly have no idea what
could have happened or why.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-What could do this
to a car out here?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-Well, I'm no
insurance adjuster,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but a big truck or the
neighbor kids coulda--

{\a1\pos(54,460)}DISPATCHER (ON RADIO): 511.
Calling 511.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Do you read me?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Both ways.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}DISPATCHER (ON RADIO):
Sergeant Vega, do you read me?

{\a1\pos(33,432)}This is headquarters calling.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Hey, there's a small
man in the glove box.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Help me find his torso.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Hello?

{\a1\pos(117,432)}Hello, do you read me?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}DISPATCHER (ON RADIO): 511,
I read you, Sergeant Vega.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}What's you location?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I'm in the front seat,
but I'm not Sergeant Vega.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-You better take this.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You're head man down here.
-Hello?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}DISPATCHER (ON RADIO):
Go ahead, please.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-This is Arturo Ramos, professor
of geology from the university.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[applause]

{\a1\pos(96,460)}My associate and I came
upon this patrol car.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}There has been an accident I
believe we're a few kilometers

{\a1\pos(138,460)}south of the village
of San Lorenzo.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}DISPATCHER (ON RADIO):
Where's Sergeant Vega?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-He's not here.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}He-- no one is here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The car is badly damaged,
but there's no blood.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}DISPATCHER (ON RADIO): Did
the car run off the road?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-There is no road.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Didn't the police sergeant make
a report after the accident?

{\a1\pos(138,432)}The radio's working.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}DISPATCHER (ON RADIO):
No, we have heard nothing.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}Thank you, professor.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Leave the patrol as it is.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Would you our
military intelligence

{\a1\pos(12,460)}to send an emergency unit
to San Lorenzo immediately?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-We will.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Thank you for ordering.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}Your total is $5.54.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Please pull ahead to the
second drive through window.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Thank you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-We're not doing
any good here, pal.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}[rattling]
-Huh?

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Huh?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Hank, some of my countrymen may
like rattlesnakes in the house.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}I can do without them.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}-Funny.
-Let's take a look.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-That guy kills me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Bob, if you die,
can I have your hat?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[rattling]

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-You know, this would make
an excellent miniature golf

{\a1\pos(264,432)}course.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Hey, look back here.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}There's a key light!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-This house is filled
with Christmas trees!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}-$10 a foot?
Jeez!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[rattling]

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Well, at least we know they're
an advanced civilization.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}They got Vic's VapoRub.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-Yeah, now you're supposed to
pick it up with your forearms

{\a1\pos(12,432)}and leave the monastery forever.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[rattling]

{\a1\pos(54,432)}You walk on the rice paper.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Bob, look!

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Baby tracks.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[rattling]

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-What's behind the curtain?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-It's a baby boy!

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-All right, kid, start talking.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Come on, Hal, it's just a baby.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-That rattlesnake is the
worst kind of them all.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Let's blast it.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Come on, fella.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Hey, how do you know
his name was Fella?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-There you go.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-You've had practice, Mr. Scott?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-I used to be Mrs. Scott.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-I guess so, with four
brothers and two sisters.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Wait a minute!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}They were older than me!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-What do you supposed
caused this wreck?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}That police car out there?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Could have been a bull.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Well, it is was, it
had to be the grandpappy

{\a1\pos(201,460)}of the biggest
bull that ever was.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-The Schlitz Marl Liquor bull.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-The wild-eyed beast.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-The grass eater.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-hot on the stove.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Yeah, so?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-Look, when I've already got a
half a dozen questions I can't

{\a1\pos(180,460)}answer, I try to
ignore any new ones.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Do you think we
out to use the radio

{\a1\pos(54,460)}to tell them about the kid?
-No.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I think we ought to get to San
Lorenzo as quick as we can.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}Ah, look at this kid.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}Not a peep out of him.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Peep!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-You know, if I ever
have any of my own,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I think I'll feed him
beans and tortillas too.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Then I'll be able to
get some sleep nights.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-I doubt it.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-No more beans and
tortillas for that kid.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Hey, wait a minute.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-I'll just leave him here
on the seat of the car.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-What's behind this tree?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}It's a dead cop!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-That's right, Bob, it's
a 1953 Senora Policia,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}complete with .38
snub nose revolver,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}dilated pupils,
and rigor mortis.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You too will sleep soundly
in your own Senora Policia.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-From Spiegel Catalog,
Chicago, Illinois, 60609.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Funny place for a wax museum.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-He's dead, you idiot.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-I got a wax museum in my ear.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-I told them not
to eat the worm.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}-Hello?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}-Hello?
Hello?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-We only found Sergeant
Vega and the baby.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}DISPATCHER (ON RADIO):
I have that, professor.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You said Vega's revolver
had all chambers fired?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Yes, all.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}DISPATCHER (ON RADIO): And what?

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-We wish we knew, too.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}DISPATCHER (ON RADIO):
Thank you again.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The emergency unit will be
in San Lorenzo tomorrow.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-They're sending a
eunuch to San Lorenzo?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-What do you think that
announcer looks like?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I picture him kind of
tall, good looking.

{\a1\pos(306,432)}You?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Oh, I don't know.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-The San Lorenzo
Milling Around Festival.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Hey, GI Joe, number one!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Hey, mister, my
sister boobly oobley.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-(TOGETHER) Chocolate!

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Hey!

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Oh, sorry about that, Gary.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You got to remember
the duck, boy.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-What's the matter, muchachos?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}Dad's trapped?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Bedrock canyon?

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-At last, thank God.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Now ask him in Spanish.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-[speaking spanish]

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-OK, now ask him in French.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}OK, do German again.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}I love this.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-I am Father Delgado.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Arturo Ramos of
the University, Dr.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Henry Scott from
the United States.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[applause]

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-I'm afraid I can't
introduce this one.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Manuel Debulso.
And the parents?

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Hey, don't give him to me.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}I didn't do it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I think it might
be better if we

{\a1\pos(33,432)}discussed this inside, Father.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Batting practice.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}[speaking spanish]

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Dead.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}They were dead.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And know, Father, do
you believe there's

{\a1\pos(138,460)}a demon bull killing
us all one-by-one?

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Pelo.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-I'll take Manuel.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}I'll take him with me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-You know, Garrett talked
to me that way once.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Once.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Gentlemen, I know you are
weary after your journey.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Can I offer you what hospitality
the village may provide?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-We tie you to a pole
and spank you with reeds.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-The Milling About Festival
continues well into the night.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Let's mill out of here.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Yeah, let's mill.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Finding the sergeant with
a look of death none of us

{\a1\pos(117,432)}had ever seen before.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Yeehaa!

{\a1\pos(96,96)}-[trilling] Ah ha!
-All right.

{\a1\pos(180,96)}As you guys have
probably noticed,

{\a1\pos(117,96)}most of the people in
this cast are from Mexico.

{\a1\pos(33,96)}And I thought it'd be nice to
take advantage of that to have

{\a1\pos(96,96)}a little cross-cultural
learning experience.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}All right?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Complete with subtitles?

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Right.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}That's right, Cambot, you're
going to put the subtitles up

{\a1\pos(183,460)}on the screen
interpreting the language

{\a1\pos(12,432)}of our southern brethren.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Now, uh, we're not that good at
it, but we're trying to learn,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and hey, that's the most
important thing, isn't it?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-We sure think so.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-That's right, muchachos,
you want some uh, refritos?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}-No, no.
-I'm stuffed.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-Couldn't eat.
-No.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Mmm.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, you don't know
what you're missing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's time to talk
about the film.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}[speaking spanish]

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[laughing]

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Oh, man.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}I mean, mano.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Oh, boy.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}[speaking spanish]

{\a1\pos(306,432)}-Oh!

{\a1\pos(264,432)}Kiddie.

{\a1\pos(96,68)}[speaking spanish]

{\a1\pos(285,68)}-Que?

{\a1\pos(222,68)}-Never mind.

{\a1\pos(180,96)}-Pass me a flour
tortilla, will you?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Are you sure you don't
want some green sauce

{\a1\pos(180,460)}with this, Crow?
-No, no.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}I hate green.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[music playing]

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Tonight you will stay here,
and maybe in the morning things

{\a1\pos(12,432)}won't seem quite so mysterious.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Indeed, I hope so.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Here we are, isolated, almost
cut off from civilization

{\a1\pos(33,460)}having lost family or friends.
Something absolutely unknown--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-You still speaking
Spanish, anybody?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}-Oui.
-Si.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Could be in another world.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Nyet.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Low.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Good night, Father.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Good night.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-They sure headed
off to bed early.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-We missed dinner.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-The Milling Festival
ends in chaos.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Two angry villagers slap
each other senseless

{\a1\pos(12,432)}with large T-bone steaks.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-We really appreciate it.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-The spanking, it was great.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-See you late this afternoon.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Dr. Ramos, Dr. Scott.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I will ask you one
more time not to begin

{\a1\pos(54,432)}this unnecessary expedition.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Look, Frank, drop
the cheesy accent.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-I don't see how we can be of
any further service to you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-No, I don't require
you for my work here.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-It's more for pleasure.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I only know that if you
start for that crater

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and find yourself in any
kind of difficulties,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}men who are much more
badly needed here

{\a1\pos(12,432)}will have to go find you.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Sorry, Mr. Selfish.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-I'm sorry.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-So that's what you
must come safely,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and before sundown
with all the answers

{\a1\pos(54,432)}to your questions and mine.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-I'm into that, sluggo.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I mean, Father Sluggo.
Padre.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}Oh, thank you.

{\a1\pos(306,432)}-Ah!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Now you've got me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-This looks like a good
place to put the boat in.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Should we try around over
that side or over here?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Neither one of
them looks exactly

{\a1\pos(33,432)}like the Pan American Highway.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Funny!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Everyone's always
said that the best

{\a1\pos(180,460)}fissures were on
the eastern slope.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}You can see the lava there.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Maybe we can get close
enough to get some pictures

{\a1\pos(54,432)}and plan our best approach.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Just keep drinking.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-It's the Cisco Kid!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Hey, I can see another
movie through my binoculars.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}- --on the rocks?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-I don't know about
that, but I found

{\a1\pos(180,460)}something a lot
more interesting.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Hey, it's Dale Evans.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}And I thought she was stuffed.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Only mounted.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Here, have a look.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It'll do you a lot more good
than that bottled water.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-[laughs] Again.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}He zung me.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-I don't see anything.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Ah, yes.
Now I see him.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Oh, doc, you haven't
got that thing in focus.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-They're focused.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And it's a very handsome horse,
and I'd like to get started.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Oh, I know she's a
little plump, but come on.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-There was a girl on that horse.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}Come on!

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-The horse must have eaten her.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-I think I see her.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Hey, that's the same place
they filmed "Robot Monster."

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Now, don't know too much.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}I said don't move.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We'll find out if
you're all right first.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Hey, she's all
right, and she'll

{\a1\pos(12,432)}be perfect for our experiments.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I'm all right, really,
except I could have done this

{\a1\pos(54,460)}more gracefully if I'd known
spectators were around.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Looked fine from
where I'm standing.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Gently, now.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-No broken bones, senorita?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}No sharp pain?

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-No, really, I'm all right.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}I've fallen off Lucero before.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Not for many years, but-- I
really can ride, gentlemen.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Ahem!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Sure. [coughing]

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-I'm Mira Flores.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Hank Scott, Dr. Arturo Ramos.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[applause]

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Oh, the luck of the Alvarez.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Come off a horse and land
right next to a doctor.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Doctors of geology.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-We operate only with
little hammers on rocks.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-So if you have kidney stones,
we're the guys to call.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Oh, don't bother.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Lucero always goes
back to Mira Flores.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}But the, uh, saddle,
I don't know.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-I'll get it.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-You're very kind.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-No, he's not.
I'm kinder.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Do you happen to
have a canteen?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Oh, sure.
Right on the jeep.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on.
Take it easy.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}There's a mirror you can use.
-Right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-We'll be here several
weeks, at least.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}See, we're conducting
a sort of a--

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Try a little of this.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}I made it myself.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}It's my own sweat.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-sometime next month.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-You make it sound like a
very intriguing occupation.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Well, I didn't mean to.
-Oh, it is.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You meet such
interesting volcanoes.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-And you're one of 'em.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-What do you know?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Couple of rocks piled
on top of other rocks.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}That's kind of fishy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Just did down a
little bit, and yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What? "Thou shalt
not ki--" What?

{\a1\pos(117,432)}"Thou shalt not ki--"

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Huh.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}Better take that back.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sure make the saddle
heavier, but--

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Hey, Hank!

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Look at this.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It says, "Thou shalt not ki--"
What do you make of that?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-I guess we're not supposed ki.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-I found this near the saddle.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Oh, is that good?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-I'll say it is.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}It's obsidian.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Oh, I don't think
it's that bad.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Well, I wouldn't know.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Cattle, yes, but rocks?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Could I ask another
favor of you?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Can I borrow some makeup?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Would you mind turning back
and taking me to San Lorenzo?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-I'd be glad to.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Oh, thank you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Wow, you'll do
anything for a chick.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-I must get there today.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}You see--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Where'd you get
your hat block, Dale?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-I have to have some riders
to help with my cattle.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}That old volcano is really
causing a lot of trouble

{\a1\pos(180,432)}this time.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Yeah, we-- we heard in the
village about your cowboys.

{\a1\pos(306,432)}-Oh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Well, if I lose my
cattle, I lose everything.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}How are thinks in San Lorenzo?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Well, the Mill
Festival is over,

{\a1\pos(33,432)}ended in a weird steak fight.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Found a baby, though.
Gave it to a priest.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And that pretty much sums up
where we are in the movie.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Oh, the weather
started getting rough,

{\a1\pos(12,432)}the tiny ship was tossed.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Is that any reason to act
like frightened children?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-I don't think it's just a
poisonous plant, senorita.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Even in this climate,
you don't grow them

{\a1\pos(54,460)}that can push in the side of
a building and wreck a car.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Oh, but we do.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You're not from
around here, are you?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Strange man.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-The Milling Festival
over, the citizens

{\a1\pos(96,460)}are loaded onto flatbed
trucks like so many cattle.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Everybody don't care.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Oh, don't forget.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You promised to use Miraflores
as your headquarters.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-It will be a great
convenience, senorita.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Then we'll meet later?

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Hey, Steve, I'll
flip you for her.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Hey, you see my haircut?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Look, I got a haircut too.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Look, haircut, haircut,
haircut, haircut, haircut.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}We all got our hair cut.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-Chumacho, Philipe, Jose, all
of you, let me ask you this.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Are those foam hats?

{\a1\pos(33,432)}I told you to wear mouse ears.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-If my father were
alive today, would you

{\a1\pos(138,460)}become frightened of
sounds in the night

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and run like silly children
to the safety of the village?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Uh, yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}Yes.
-I say only this, muchachos.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've know you all
for all my life.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}We've always worked together.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Me usually bossing you around.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Many of you were
born at Miraflores.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-That's right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-If you don't wish
to return just

{\a1\pos(180,460)}to help me save
my cattle for me,

{\a1\pos(12,432)}then return to safe Miraflores.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}[speaking spanish]

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Ah, looks like the answer's no.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-We'll return.
-Gracias.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-All right, senors, back
to my house for tacos.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}Hats on!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Dr. Scott, Major
Cosio wants to see you.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Where is he?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-In the laboratory
with Dr. Delacruz.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Laboratory?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-You'd be surprised at the
experiments that go on there.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-He's making a taco salad where
you can actually eat the bowl.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[music playing]

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Doctor, is, uh,
that the patrolman?

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Sergeant Vega, who
lived doing his duty,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and who may perform
a greater one now.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}-Ick.
-Please.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-You see?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I deep fried a small
portion of soft shell.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Now look at the salsa
I mixed up here.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-They are flavor buds.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}They are bursting with flavor.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Well?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-They look like
subcutaneous cells

{\a1\pos(138,460)}that have just burst
or run rampant.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-So that salsa's really,
really hot then, right?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Not from any poison I can
identify with this equipment.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Lopez!

{\a1\pos(12,432)}You're help again, please.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Hey, isn't that the
guy from the Eurythmics?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-And this is pure alcohol,
and this distilled water,

{\a1\pos(96,432)}and this tequila--

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Ah, that's for me.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-And this water with some salt.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-And then bring some
shinola, and we'll

{\a1\pos(138,460)}compare it with the
last one I gave you.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-You think it is a poison, then?

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-I do.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Not a chemical poison, doctor?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-No, but I believe
for many reasons--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-More like a paste,
like I use in my hair.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-I have had a little experience
with them, the venoms

{\a1\pos(12,432)}of the snakes, the wasp spiders.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}But I will prepare the
slides and specimens

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and take them to a man in Mexico
City who will be sure to know.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Now, do you server
those with crackers,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}or do you spread them on
those toasted garlic round?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Well, as you say, if
it's an organic poison--

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Garlic rounds, OK.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-anything from nature, the
great Velasco will identify it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-The great Velasco,
juggler, sword swallower,

{\a1\pos(12,432)}and pathologist extraordinaire.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Well, there was only one
wound, here, but no blood.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Then the situation of the
tissues, the strange bacteria.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Bacteria, I think, found
in the soil samples

{\a1\pos(138,460)}near the footprints.
-Footprints?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}-Footprints?
-Footprints?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Footprints?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Footprints?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Where something
knocks down buildings,

{\a1\pos(117,432)}flattens cornfields--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Now, these aren't
actual footprints.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}This is feta cheese,
but it smells like feet,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and that's as close
as we could get.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Whatever it is, my friends,
I don't believe anyone

{\a1\pos(117,460)}has ever seen a foot,
a claw, this size

{\a1\pos(33,460)}except those poor unfortunates
who wish they never had.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-What?

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-One question, doctor.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-I hope I can answer it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}The alcohol distilled
water, the salt solution,

{\a1\pos(117,432)}I can understand that.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-It all makes a great
salad dressing, doesn't it?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Well, uh, in your country
I believe you call it

{\a1\pos(180,432)}a coffee break.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Ha ha!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Hey, let's all grab a
margarita and head out

{\a1\pos(96,460)}to my turtle pool,
what do you say, huh?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Hey, it's the Big Valley.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}And there's Barbara Stanwyck.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-There goes the surrey
with the fringe on top.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Don't forget the Alamo!

{\a1\pos(54,432)}No, wait, we can do better.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}Uh, Davy Crockett is a dork!

{\a1\pos(306,432)}No.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}Remember the-- oh, forget it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Looks like you
were pretty lucky.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That thing really
came close, didn't it?

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Yeah, it used to be worse.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-They were blessed that
it didn't go any further.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Our plantation would
have been ruined

{\a1\pos(12,432)}like the rest of the land.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Makes a lot of sense.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Meanwhile, back at
Naperville, Illinois.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Senorita, thank
heaven you're safe.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}-Oh, really?
I was worried about you.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-When Lucero came back to the
stables yesterday without you.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}I began to search the hills.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Oh, Pio, I'd already been
found by someone else.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}This is Dr. Scott and Dr. Ramos.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[applause]

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-This is my foreman, Pio.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Hi, Pio.
-This way.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-This way.
-Chump.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Not only comfortable,
but cool, too.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Yes, sometimes I
think being cool

{\a1\pos(96,460)}is by far the most
important on days like this.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, I know you'll
want showers.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Hey, it looks like she
lives at the Gallo winery.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Florentina, show Dr.
Ramos to the blue room.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-And then sponge bathe
our guests, won't you?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-You show Dr. Scott
to the left wing.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-I'll take care of them.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Well, I'll see
you later, and you

{\a1\pos(117,460)}can tell me all about
your expedition.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-You mean in the shower?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Not bad, doc.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}[mooing]

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Meanwhile, in the shower.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Moo!

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Good day's work, Chumacho.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}Not bad.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}-All right,
everybody, thank you,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but "Oklahoma" has
been cast already.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-We'll get them all
brought in by Thursday.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Why put on such a face?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We will do it if I have
to stay in the saddle

{\a1\pos(117,432)}without sleep myself.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Grrr!

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Pio, don't you understand?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Can't you see that cattle
knows that something

{\a1\pos(54,460)}evil is carried on the wind?
-That's the cat.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-All women, Chumacho.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Now let us have a good supper
and forget these superstitions.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Hey, quit shoving back there!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Hey, but it out.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Moo!

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Meanwhile, back at the dog.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Would you like
some brandy, sir?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Brandy for a dog?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Just a minute.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}Juanito hurry with the brandy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Would you like some, too?
-Please.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-I'll take care of them.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Muchas gracias.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Take a shot for
yourself, little buddy.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Kid's kind of a
kiss up, isn't he?

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Jerry Mathers as the Beavero.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Can I make a complaint, Teresa?
-Oh, I'm sorry.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}What was not done suitably?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Uh, the dog was a
little well done.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-That's just it.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Everything was done beautifully.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You know, you're making
it very difficult

{\a1\pos(201,460)}to think about
settling down to work.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Well, is that so bad?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-That all depends.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Might be very bad if I
stop thinking about work

{\a1\pos(33,460)}all together and just started
concentrating on pleasure.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Hank, those volcanoes have been
there for hundreds of years.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm sure they wouldn't mind
waiting just a little longer.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-What are they
talking about, Joel?

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Uh, sexual healing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I didn't expect you two
to be discussing volcanoes.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}I've got something to show you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Let me put my new, uh,
Leonard Nimoy album on.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He sings "The Ballad
Of Bilbo Baggins."

{\a1\pos(306,460)}See?
There you go.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I noticed it last
night at the village.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Huh.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Looks like a decoupage Hummel.
-See anything?

{\a1\pos(99,460)}-I like it.
-Put it up against the light.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Looks like Wisconsin Dells.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-That's fantastic, doc.
-Thank you!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-There's a scorpion
trapped in there.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-You are bold and assertive, and
you get along well with Libras.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- --a few hundred years
old, but there he is.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I wanted to show it to you
before I broke it open.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Hey, not on the table.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}I just had it re-felted.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}[squeaking]

{\a1\pos(201,432)}TERESA: Alive!

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Impossible!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-It's a prehistoric
crunchy treat.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Juanito, bring a jar.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-I can't believe
it, life enduring

{\a1\pos(96,432)}for centuries like this.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-And under all that heat?

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-My underwear drawer?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Valesco will certainly
be interested in this.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Hey, I hope you know
you voided the warranty

{\a1\pos(33,432)}when you cracked it open, pal.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-I think I'll name him Buster.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}[squeaking]

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-It's an ancient
squeaking scorpion.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Pardon me, senores.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}You like to keep scorpions?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I know a place where
there are millions.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Oh, not like this one, Juanito.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[barking]

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-This one squeaks.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}-Pancho!
-Cisco!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Pancho, if you don't
know how to behave,

{\a1\pos(96,432)}I have to send you out.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-I want a magnifying glass
to watch this little monster.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-You mean the little kid?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-You know, I could throw
this scorpion out the window.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Then we'd really be alone.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Well, except for
the dog, the cook,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the small boy, and your friend.
-Why don't we go outside?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Why don't we?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[phone ringing]

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Oh, excuse me, the
line's been fixed.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-It had a problem?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}-Hello?
Hello?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Uh, I'm a lineman
for the county,

{\a1\pos(12,432)}and I drive the main road.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Oh, is the line all fixed?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-All clear, ma'am.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Miraflores is the
last one, senora.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the star of our show,

{\a1\pos(180,432)}it's Ferocious!

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Ah you got a little, uh--

{\a1\pos(222,432)}[screaming]

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Works every time.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Oh, he's leaking.
Look at that.

{\a1\pos(306,432)}Ew!

{\a1\pos(222,432)}[screaming]

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Let's see, what
am I hungry for?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Uh, lobster!

{\a1\pos(54,432)}Yeah, that's what I wanted.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[music playing]

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Oh, hi, Crusty.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-I like the fish.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}-Hey, Paco!
-What?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-No, What's on first.
-Watch out for the bridge!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-What a time to be
stuck up a pole.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Once you've tasted lineman,
you'll never go back.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}Bet you can't eat just one.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}LINEMAN (ON PHONE):
In the Arroyo!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Hank, come here!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-The line's been bugged.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Listen to this.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Hello!

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Hello!

{\a1\pos(138,432)}Hello, what's wrong?

{\a1\pos(33,432)}LINEMAN (ON PHONE): Look out!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Uh, could you scream
a little slower?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}I can't understand you.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Run, [inaudible].

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Roughly translated, he's
saying this would not

{\a1\pos(138,460)}have happened had we
installed fiber optics.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-I think I can take that thing.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Vamanos, las caboose!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[music playing]

{\a1\pos(264,460)}-Sunday!

{\a1\pos(264,432)}Sunday!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We turn the floor of the Sonora
Desert into a giant blood pit!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}It's machine meets arachnid
in one-on-one action, Gogo

{\a1\pos(96,460)}the Gorilla and all time
powerful meister, Big Scorp!

{\a1\pos(222,432)}[screaming]

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Mmm, delicious guy on a stick.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Uh, you got a little, uh--

{\a1\pos(222,432)}[screaming]

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-A neat treat that's fun to eat.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Uh, this might,
uh, sting a bit.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Uh, no, it's going to
sting a lot, definitely.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Where's the Arroyo Bridge?
-I'll show you.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-In Arroyo.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}[whimpering]

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Pancho, what's
happening to you tonight?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Keep quiet.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-I got to do a film
with Jim Belushi.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Doc, we have to go
over to the bridge.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}There's some trouble.
Come on!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Now you be a good boy.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[barking]

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Come here!

{\a1\pos(264,432)}Pancho!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Come back, come
back Rin Tin Tin!

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Pancho!

{\a1\pos(264,432)}Pancho!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Pancho, come back here!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Look, kid, the dog
obviously doesn't like you.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}[barking and mooing]

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Dogs love the rich taste
of gigantic scorpion.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Shouldn't we unhook
the boat first?

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Jesus I cannot save!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Help, Mr. Hank!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Why, that's Juanito!
-Juanito?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Who's going to save a kid
named after a snack cracker?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Run, Juanito!

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Not that way!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Call for help!

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Don't shoot the boy.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Shoot the monster.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Ha ha!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Getting scared?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Mrs. Butterworth, help!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Where is Juanito?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-He's safe!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Operator!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Operator!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Operator!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[music playing]

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-But I just don't
understand it at all.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Well, we'll go through it
again one more time, OK.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}At approximately the
same time every day,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Joel goes into his cabin,
stretches out horizontally

{\a1\pos(180,460)}on his bunk, and
closes his eyes.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}-Yeah, and then he holds
perfectly still and shuts down.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-No, except it's not
a complete shut down,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}because every now and
then he rolls over

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and he'll say things
like, "Oh, no, Mr. French,

{\a1\pos(54,432)}Buffy didn't hide the cat!"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Or-- or, oh yeah, one
time I heard him yell,

{\a1\pos(12,432)}"Don't stop, don't stop!"

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Ahhh!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-That's not the weird--

{\a1\pos(36,460)}-Ahhh!
-Gypsy-- Gypsy, we're busy here.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}That's not the weird part.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}It's really not.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He'll get up, he'll walk
into a little closet,

{\a1\pos(138,432)}and he makes water.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Yeah, and what
does he do with it?

{\a1\pos(33,432)}He flashes it out into space.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Go figure.
-Yeah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It'd be like if we
were to just, uh, drain

{\a1\pos(117,460)}hydrofluid to jettison
it into space.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yeah.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[laughing]

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Waa!

{\a1\pos(306,432)}Waa!

{\a1\pos(306,432)}Waa!

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Waa-- waa--

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Oh, cute, girl.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Uh, go take a powder, huh?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-OK, here's the paradox for you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He's programmed to grow
hair on his face, right?

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yeah?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-But every time he gets up
from his bunk, he cuts it off.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Yeah, right.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And then it grows back again
the next day, what does he do?

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-He cuts it off again.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yeah.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Yeah, this is one of those
logically strange loops,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}some sort of bizarre
non-Euclidean

{\a1\pos(12,432)}human projection pattern--

{\a1\pos(285,460)}-Waa!
-which makes--

{\a1\pos(285,460)}-Waa!
Waaaaa!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-no sense.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}It may be some sort of hidden--

{\a1\pos(264,460)}-Oowie!
Oowie!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oowie!
Oowie!

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Oowie!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Oh, I tell you,
buddy, human nature

{\a1\pos(12,460)}is a hard thing to figure.
-Ow!

{\a1\pos(306,432)}Ow!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[buzzing]

{\a1\pos(96,432)}We got Movie Sign!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Let's go!

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Tom, why'd you break Gypsy?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Because she tried
to consume me, Joel.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-There you go.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Please hurry, operator!

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Thank you.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Uh, this is the operator.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}I'm not in right now.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Nothing important is
happening, so I left.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}This is a recording.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Ooo!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}-Ahhh!
-Ahh!

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Here comes the grand finale.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}I love this part.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Uh, this is your
landlord calling.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'm sorry, but, uh,
you won't be getting

{\a1\pos(12,432)}your damage deposit back.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Oh, come on, everybody.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}It's just a big bug.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Ain't you ever seen
a big bug before?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Come on, nothing
to worry-- whoa!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}What the-- Gary,
get out of my way!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-It's crazy day!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're slashing and
bashing prices!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yes, that's right, all
giant scorpions get in free!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Free hot dogs and
balloons for the kids!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hey, come on down to
visit me in Kock jail!

{\a1\pos(138,432)}I'm in Koch prison!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Get me out, get me out!

{\a1\pos(264,432)}Come on!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Come on down to crazy
days this Sunday!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Oh, I saw that in
"Potemkin" once.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-It's the Oaxaca step sequence.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-You know, these soccer games
really can get out of hand.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-You're not supposed
to use your hands.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Hey, get me!

{\a1\pos(117,432)}I'm stinging peasants!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Um, you know I hate
to tell you this.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}That's not how you use the gun.
Its upside down.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-It's udder chaos. [laughs]
Cows-- cow could I say that?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}[laughs]
-Just in time!

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Must be after the cattle!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Well, just rope and
throw and brand 'em.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}Don't try to understand 'em.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Uh, you got a little, uh--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-I told you kids, no
horseplay in the house.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-You got a little,
uh, yeah-- echh!

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yuck.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Yeah, and I wonder of that
thing and plow a driveway.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}It sure would be great.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-I don't think it can.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It doesn't have the
right attachments.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Flint, Michigan.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}On a clear day,
you can see the GM

{\a1\pos(12,432)}plant on the outskirts of town.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, look, there's
Michael Moore.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I'm telling you,
Brad, I'm going

{\a1\pos(12,432)}to get to Messina before Monty.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-MASH 4077, best care anywhere.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-It's Sidney Freedman.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Dr. Velasco!

{\a1\pos(99,460)}-Hey, Hawkeye, didn't
recognize you in the civvies.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-This is fantastic.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Oh, you like it?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Thanks.
-Thank God, Father.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}We thought you were all dead.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Just part of me.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-This is all that remains.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Even the animals.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}I cannot speak of this night.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Well then, just
don't speak of it.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Devoured.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Father I have been
sent her in charge

{\a1\pos(12,432)}of emergency arrangements.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}All that are left will
be moved to safety.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Certainly.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Please tell everyone to be
ready to leave San Lorenzo.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And Father, they
may only take what

{\a1\pos(33,432)}they can carry in their arms.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-I'm not your father.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Where is the laboratory?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Over there.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Is it lavatory or laboratory?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-As soon as I
received the samples,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I identified the poison
as that of a scorpion,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}but I had no concept
of the creature's size

{\a1\pos(96,432)}until I saw this.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Your feta cheese?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-And this.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}This specimen found by Dr.
Ramos is of a species thought

{\a1\pos(180,460)}to be extinct as
the Triasian era.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-As a what?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-We have known it in a passive
state, but never alive.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Now from the bowels
of the Earth it

{\a1\pos(138,460)}has come forth again
to plague the Earth.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-What can we do?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I emptied the machine
gun at one of them.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-I beg of you all not
to lose your heads.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Have you tried
reasoning with them?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-But we have a few advantages
against this enemy.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}First--

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-We're small, we can run fast.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-Thus, we have
the daylight hours

{\a1\pos(12,432)}to try to find and destroy them.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Secondly, they're somewhat
slow and lethargic.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-And we have a giant,
40 foot pincers.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}Uh, no, wait.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}That's the scorpions.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Can I still ask
one question, sir?

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yes?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-What weapon do
you intend to use?

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Gas.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-We're in Mexico.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}That should be easy to find.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-It has been proved effective
against normal species.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}Let us pray it works against--

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Enormous pieces?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-If it does not--

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-We give up and die.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-May Got help all of you.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Or some of you.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Like you.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-OK, Milling Festival's over.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}It's the Big Hat Fest.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-I want to do what I can, too.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Senorita Alvarez, I
understand your emotions--

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-Believe me, Dr. Velasco, I'm
not trying to be emotional.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I wouldn't ask to come along
if I thought I couldn't help.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Teresa, you don't
know the hardships--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-Dr. Velasco,
Major Cosio, I know

{\a1\pos(96,460)}this area like the
palm of my hand.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-But she can't ride a
horse to save her life.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-I'm a good shot.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You said yourself you needed
all the help you could get.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Senorita Alvarez, I think
you have found yourself a job.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-That pays rotten,
but the hours stink.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Major Cosio and I
are planning this--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-See, I got this
lake property, and it

{\a1\pos(180,460)}goes all the way
back to the woods.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-I want to go with you.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}I want to do a job.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Don't worry, Juanito.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}We'll get together again.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}That's a promise.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Oh, uh, see if you can find
my boots for me, will you?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-I know where they are.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-[sniffing] Oh, they stink.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Whoo!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Hey, did you actually
pay for these?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-Wine, please.
-Here they are.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Oh, good.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-They are very,
very [inaudible].

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Well stop eyeballing them,
kid, and give them to me.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-You kind of like those, huh?

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Um-hum.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Tell you what, Juanito.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}When, uh, when you
get to be a big man,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'll get you a pair
just like these.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Ah, no thanks.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Why, thank you, Mr. Hank.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-You like that, huh?

{\a1\pos(99,460)}-Uh-huh.
I know how to ride very good.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}I know how to shoot very good.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Yeah, yeah, we know
you're Superboy.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}Too bad you can't act.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Hey, can I call you Gary?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-A half a man?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Oh, Juanito.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You know, sometimes
even a half a man

{\a1\pos(222,460)}has a lot of
different jobs to do,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and right now the most
important job for you to do

{\a1\pos(96,460)}is to take care of
your grandmother.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-She can take care of herself.
-Off her, Juan.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}You'll be paid well for it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-You've got plenty of time
to do more exciting things.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-And you?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You be very careful and
don't get hurt, won't you?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-You work on your diction.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}I'll catch up with you later.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-And a true man never
breaks his promise.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Yeah, that's what a Shane said.
-OK.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Here they are on
the 15th fairway.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Boy, I wish they'd keep those
horses away from the green.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-I don't see a
thing, Dr. Velasco.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Might as well go on.
-All right.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're playing a top
light five, aren't you?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I usually use range balls
out here in the rough.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-They're playing
the volcano hole.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Next is the windmill,
and that's really tough.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-Now it looks like he's going
to use an iron on this one.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}A little hard to
believe, but he's

{\a1\pos(54,460)}been having a lot of trouble
with his driver and his woods.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Look like he's going
for a tough par.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-He, he was in our
foursome last week.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}This is a rough hole.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Major?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Yes, doctor?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Tell your captain to hold
all the heavy equipment

{\a1\pos(117,432)}until we call for it.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-You mean the irons?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Here it is!

{\a1\pos(138,432)}A great big opening!

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Here's the pin, everybody!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Wow it is tough.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}He's got to
four-caddy that hole.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Look!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There's something
wrong with his horse!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}He's falling in!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-No actors were abused in the
making of this motion picture.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Oh, hurry up there, Hank!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-That's going to
cost him a stroke.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Take a full swing!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-We must get down
to the lower level.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-The lady's tee?

{\a1\pos(54,432)}OK, who has the orange ball?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Hey, they moved the pin!

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-This crevice is new.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It must have opened during
one of the earthquakes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}This looks like a
job for us, doc.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Of course.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-No chance for Mendoza?

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-How deep do you say it is?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Well, doc and I have
been down many a cave,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but there's no way
of really telling

{\a1\pos(96,460)}until you actually
hit the bottom.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-I think it cuts down
and to the right.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}You should be able to bogey it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hey, cut it out!
Ouch!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Well, the only
way we can find out

{\a1\pos(96,460)}is try to go down
there ourselves.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}What do you say, doc?

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-What, are you high?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Will that poisonous gas
work in a crevice this big?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I could not anticipate
such a voice as this.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-I'm not a big enough crevice.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Major, I think you better
bring all your heavy equipment

{\a1\pos(12,432)}up here, crane, tanks, and all.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Captain, bring the crane
and all the heavy equipment.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You want my men
to go down there?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}It is suicide.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Don't worry about it.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Doc and I haven't had a decent
elevator ride in a long time.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-We commit suicide every day.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}I got my snowmobile here.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Snowcat, really a beauty.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-What are you doing here?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-I'm a stowaway.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-No, you're a volunteer, kid.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Do me a favor, will you,
and just stay out of the way?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Yes, Mr. Hank.
-Good.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And just sit in the
jeep like a big boy, OK?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Yeah, wear that
checkerboard bib overalls

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and hold the big, sloppy
hamburger like that.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Why the bird, professor?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Because if the
first stops singing,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that means there's
poison gas in the cave.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Fine time to go jousting.
-Hank you don't have to do it.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Neither of you.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}It's not your responsibility.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Whose responsibility is it
-(TOGETHER) The producers!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-The police, the army,
the people who live here.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-Now look, doc and I know more
about caves than anyone else

{\a1\pos(285,432)}here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Give me my gum back.
Thank you.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Now you got it.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}Here, I want you to have it.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Why did you do that?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Maybe I just wanted
to see what you'd do.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-What did I do?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Well, I don't know,
but you did it first.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Senorita.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}You can help us if you will
keep the log of the descent.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}How many meters down, the
reports which are made.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Sure, keep yourself busy.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}That's my theory.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, and don't forget to
take care of little Juanito.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Juanito?

{\a1\pos(138,432)}Oh, you mean my kid.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-(FRENCH ACCENT) An so we
enter zee cage knowing zee

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Earth's fiercest
creatures await us below.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-All right, take it down.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Zsa Zsa.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-He said down!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-(FRENCH ACCENT)
Lower and lower we go,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}traveling past zee
matte paintings.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-(FRENCH ACCENT)
Vila suffered from

{\a1\pos(12,432)}the bends or nitrogen narcosis.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Uh, I think we're going to need
a lot bigger boat, you guys.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Shoe I get the cops?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}I'll get the cops.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Doc, look down there.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Hello, stop cage.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Big-- big crab.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}Big guy.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}Oh boy!

{\a1\pos(264,432)}Oh boy!

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Bring us up.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}Stop the cage.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Send down a little
lemon butter.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-There's scorpion in the walls.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Hold on a second.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Uh, Hal, why don't
you go down there

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and stand next to the creature
so I can get a sense of scale.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-OK, I got picture of it.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}We're on.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-All right, lower them down.
-Down?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Did I say down?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Up.
I meant up.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-He's gonna clip that
line like a nose hair.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Hey, look over there.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}It says Arnie Saknussesn.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-(FRENCH ACCENT) Deeper and
deeper we went until our little

{\a1\pos(96,460)}thread was all the
way down, you know.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-What a huge cavern.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I've never seen a cave
so big in my life.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Can you see any
signs of Mendoza?

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Well, not from here.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}We'll take a look around.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Seems like a nice enough place.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-At first.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-(FRENCH ACCENT) At this depth,
zee sea feels immense and cold

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and lifeless, when actually
it is teaming with life.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Here we see a sea anemone, its
seemingly fragile structure

{\a1\pos(201,460)}adapted to the
massive pressures.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}At this depth, the
sea pressure could

{\a1\pos(96,460)}crush a man's head
like a pimple.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}[bird tweeting]
-Hey, chirpy.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Is this "Dune"?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-(FRENCH ACCENT) Here we
see one of the beautiful

{\a1\pos(54,432)}creatures of the sea floor.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Though it appears vicious to
the eye, it is very docile.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You can see the
creature's lure, which

{\a1\pos(117,460)}is a lump of flesh in
front of the ink sack.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Well, this is the winner of the
Uniroyal Pioneer trophy, now.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}This float is called
the Little Inch Worm.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It's made entirely out
of white coral flowers

{\a1\pos(138,432)}and dried shellfish.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}It's a real piece of work.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Kathie Lee?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}-Hank!
Answer!

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Hey, he likes to wear hats.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We just find a bug
that can wear this that

{\a1\pos(117,432)}and we've got our man.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Or their worm.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Exactly.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Are you there, Hank?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Dr. Ramos?
Dr. Ramos?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Elephant Boy hid
behind the gas tanks.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Hello?

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Hello?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}-Hello.
-[inaudible].

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Damn these Sprint lines.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Hello?

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yes.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Mendoza's dead.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}We just saw a worm 30 feet long.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-And boy, does it catch fish.
-Hank, please come up!

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Call Babe Winkleman.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-We want to look around
a little more first.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Hey, doc!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Hey, doc!

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Over here! [echoing]

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-There's a big set over
here, over here, over here.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Stay down, Sabu.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Oh, yuck.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Look out!
Ew!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-(SINGING) The ants go marching
one-by-one, hurrah, hurrah.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-There must be a nest.
-Yeah.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}-The ants go
marching one-by-one,

{\a1\pos(12,432)}the humans stop to shoot a gun.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-It doesn't even penetrate it.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Try another one.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Better call Orkin.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Or throw the boy at them.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Yep, these are scorpion
prints, all right.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Were they in the
basement of the volcano?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Is that the deal?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Oh, made him mad.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Not a good thing.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-You know, even if
they catch that thing,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}they're going to need a lemon
the size of a Volvo to eat it.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Hm, think I'll
go make some yummy

{\a1\pos(33,432)}curry sauce with my own body.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Becky?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Injun Joe?
Huck?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Oh, let's knock off
for the day, Bill.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It's been a long
one, and I could

{\a1\pos(33,432)}sure go for an ice cold brew.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Scorpions like this always keep
lots of ice cold beer around.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[yelping]

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Sounds like there's an
opera going on next door.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I got $20 that says the
scorpion wins this one.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-I'm just plain terrified.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Well, he's got
a foreign object.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Wally Carbo, I can't believe
what I'm seeing here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-What does it smell like
in here to you guys?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}-Yeech!
-Grody.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}-Must be the
grandaddy of them all.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Wilford Brimley?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Good, make sure
they can see us.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}Thanks a lot.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-That's how they
kill each other, that

{\a1\pos(96,432)}weak spot in the throat.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Good eye.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Go up there and strangle
him, will you, Hal?

{\a1\pos(306,432)}-Oh!

{\a1\pos(54,432)}Oh, great, it's a wood tick.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He's going to get
Lyme disease now.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Quick, get a lit cigarette.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}JUANITO: Help!

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Help!

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Help!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-That doesn't sound like
a giant, mutated scorpion.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Come on, afraid
of a little tick?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}You little pansy.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}-Help!
Help!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Juanito, come back!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[music playing]

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Stay back in the cave, Juanito!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-'Cause you're got some
explaining to do, boy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Let's get some Deep Woods
OFF and finish him off.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-I thought I told you
to stay in the jeep.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}What are you doing down here?
-You knucklehead!

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-I came to help you.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-To help us?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Oh, come on.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-All right, you're bait.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}Come on.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Holy buckets!

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Mr. Hank, Mr. Hank!

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Look!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-(TOGETHER) Huh?
-Oops.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Oh, well this isn't
good, not at all.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I mean, I've seen
good before, and it

{\a1\pos(12,432)}didn't look anything like this.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Remember that bad thing we saw?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Well, it looked
like this, remember?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Yeah, that's really bad.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-That scorpion really wants
to use that phone booth.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-OK, play him out a little.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Keep your route tip high.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}And when you're
ready, set the hook.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Watch the crane!

{\a1\pos(138,432)}It'll be pulled in!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Throw some blocks
under that crane!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-No, you do it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-There goes our cage,
gas tanks, everything.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-And my lunch was in there.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Come here, you!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}[roaring]
-Yeech!

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Great, we lost him.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He went under the boat,
and now we're out of bait.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Here, take the
cable, doc, and send

{\a1\pos(12,432)}it back down as fast as you can.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Bring it in slow.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Maybe they're on it.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Oh, pull it up.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}Please, pull it up.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Keep bringing it in.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Just keep thinking about
your happy thoughts.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Don't look down.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-I know you're a bendy
doll in this scene.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Don't give up.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-[shout]

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Come on, hold on!

{\a1\pos(78,460)}-I bet you couldn't even
climb the rope in high school,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}could you?
You gutless wonder!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}You wimp!

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Get me, I'm a bendy doll!

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Higher and higher he goes.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}He's getting a nose bleed.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Well, how was it?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-By this time, my lungs
were aching for air.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-What happened to Hank?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Hank and Juanito
are down there too.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Juanito?
-Get a loop on the cable.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Send it down.
Quick!

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Make a loop on the cable.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Loopy, on the cable.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-OK, not get a shot of
me with, uh, the bug.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}Make a real good pose there.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Oh, uh, I'll send the rope
back down for you, I promise.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}By the way, can
I have your bike?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Great, he's a human pinata now.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Darn, darn, darn, darn.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Grab a Mountain
Dew and try that.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}It's a blast.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Oh, Juanito!

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Oh, Juanito, why did you do it?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-We are engaged.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-I tried to help them.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-It'll be dark in about an
hour, and those scorpions

{\a1\pos(12,432)}will be coming out again.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-You couldn't use the gas?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-No, we lost it in
the molten lava.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}There must be about 50 of
those things down there.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Can we close that opening
with dynamite and seal it?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-You have no idea as to
the size of that place.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Let's seal it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Wait'll you see these pictures.
-They're great.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Remember the corn
palace last year?

{\a1\pos(117,432)}Even better than that.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}Oops, I left the lens cap on.

{\a1\pos(306,432)}Oh!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Major, we must try to seal
it shut with an explosion.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We must try before nightfall.
-OK.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-So there was a hook
on the door handle.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Scary.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-The giants don't
last that long.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}They eat their own weight
every three or four days.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-But suppose they
find another way?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Those-- those
passage down there.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-They're crafty.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-This is the only place
they have appeared.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Uh, they did play a cruise
ship once with Eartha Kitt,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but other than that--
-Major?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Yes, doctor?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Let's close it.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Ready?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}-Aim.
-Let her go!

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Guess that does it.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Want to bet?

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-It seemed like a good idea.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-(TOGETHER) At first.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Hey, your apartment is great.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-And everyone's back
to what he was before.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-This isn't the end of anything.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Not for us.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}It's the beginning.

{\a1\pos(306,432)}-Oh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Hank, all of us have
done our work now,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}and thank heaven it can be
done without anymore tragedy.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}And you still have your survey
of the volcanoes to make yet.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Uh, by the way, you're
sitting on a hornet's nest.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-I'll be home every
night for dinner.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-I have to leave at once.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I should have left for
the States two months ago

{\a1\pos(54,432)}to buy cattle for the herd.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-Did you leave
the water running?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-You'll be in Mexico City
for a week first, huh?

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-She's a very powerful woman.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Then I'll finish up
my work here with doc,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and I'll meet you there, and
you can show me the town.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Well, it's a city
of 8 billion people.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You better go talk to
the chamber of commerce.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-A day, two days?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I don't want to settle
for just two days, Hank.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I don't want just
two days, either.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I want five days, five
nights, double occupancy,

{\a1\pos(96,432)}airfare included.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I don't want them
to fool me, either.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-I'm not done.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I like you very much indeed,
and I want you very much.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Your breath is like mummy meat.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Kooky.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-Meanwhile, at Hawaii Five-O.
-Dr. Scott!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}SCOTT (ON PHONE): Hello!

{\a1\pos(117,432)}I can hardly hear you.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-This is Dr. Velasco.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Oh, Dr. Velasco.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}How are you, sir?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Well, I'm tying
up some details.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Yeah, it's corpse day
down here, you know.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Yeah, right now.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Hank, I regret to have to
complicate the plans you

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and Dr. Ramos have
made for so long,

{\a1\pos(183,460)}but some of my
colleagues here in Mexico

{\a1\pos(12,460)}are very, very anxious to
talk to you both at one.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Well, I, uh, I
don't really think

{\a1\pos(54,460)}there's anything we can add
to what you already know,

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Dr. Velasco.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-I'm with the Director
of Civilian Defense

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and high army officers
right now, Hank.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-That's great.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-It is imperative that you
both return here at once

{\a1\pos(96,432)}to complete your report.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}I don't like to say that--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-What kind of salary are
we talking about here?

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-What's the trouble?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Everything is under
control, isn't it?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-There's no cause for
alarm, not at all.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Unless there's a
fire or something.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-But a request for
cooperation has

{\a1\pos(96,460)}been made by-- by a good
neighbor to the south.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Noriega?
Daniel Ortega?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Tio Sancho?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Well, if you put
it like that, we've

{\a1\pos(96,460)}already postponed
the trip five time.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}I guess once more won't matter.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}What?

{\a1\pos(222,432)}Oh, a plane.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Yeah, sure, that
would help a lot.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-How do you plan on flying?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Oh, uh, Dr. Velasco,
uh, do you supposed

{\a1\pos(138,460)}there'd be room for
three on that plane?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Of course there'll
be room for three.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-You fool!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-All right, sir.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}Yes sir, I understand.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}Right, see you then.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Hasta luego.
-He bought it!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Everyone hide behind
the furniture!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-I don't think so.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He assumes that the
danger is completely over.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-That's fine.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-You seemed, uh, very
willing to postpone our trip

{\a1\pos(180,460)}once you learned
that Teresa could

{\a1\pos(12,432)}ride with us on the plane.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Well, as least it was, uh,
some sort of an inducement.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-My friend, remember,
this is not the balcony

{\a1\pos(138,460)}of the neighborhood
movie theater.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Although the floor's
just as sticky.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-And when a man shows as
much attention to a girl

{\a1\pos(117,460)}as you have, all of a
sudden he's in a cathedral

{\a1\pos(12,432)}and wondering how he got there.

{\a1\pos(306,432)}-So?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What have you got
against marriage, doc?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Oh, I try to remember what
my father told me one time.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}He said, "Arturo, every child
of the world is born single"

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Hey, come on, what are
you, Gabe Kaplan here?

{\a1\pos(117,432)}What's with the story?

{\a1\pos(138,432)}Hey, get on with it.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Is this a Bob Newhart bit?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Right, I'll get the sedatives.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-It's Benito Mussolini.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Hey, I see your
hair plugs took.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Dr. Velasco has asked me
to take you to him at once.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Right away?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I don't think her
hat's quite dead yet.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-What about Senorita Alvarez?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-I have orders to take Senorita
Alvarez wherever she wishes,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}but you gentleman must then
accompany me to the university.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-All right.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-We better get out of here.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Let's go.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Follow me!

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Look, it's the Kahlua factory.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Hey, everybody.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}My name is Joel.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Welcome to the
Satellite of Love.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Today we have--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}CROW: I think his voice
is a bit higher, Servo.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}More like this.
Ahem.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, sirs, what's the
experiment for this week?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}SERVO: That's
pretty good, but he

{\a1\pos(33,460)}tends to roll his R's a little
bit, more like, uh, like this--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}JOEL: Hey, what are
you guys up to, anyway?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}CROW: Wow, that's perfect!

{\a1\pos(12,432)}That sounds just like him.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}SERVO: Ixnay, Crow,
Ixnay on the Oljay.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}He's--
-What?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}Oh, uh, right.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Sorry.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-We were, uh, just
doing our little tribute

{\a1\pos(57,460)}to the genius behind the
character effects in this film.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Yeah, that black
scorpion is terrific.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}It's very realistic.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Oh, and you know
who the creator

{\a1\pos(96,460)}of the stop action
animation was?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}The one and only Willis O'Brien.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Oh, we thought it
was Ray Harryhausen.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-Oh, that's a good guess, but
actually the great granddaddy

{\a1\pos(12,432)}of them all was Willis O'Brien.

{\a1\pos(306,432)}-Oh!

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yeah.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He started the whole
thing, actually.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}He's the guy who
brought to the screen

{\a1\pos(96,460)}such great science
fiction characters

{\a1\pos(180,460)}as King Kong and
Mighty Joe Young.

{\a1\pos(306,432)}-Oh.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, uh, didn't he also do a
bunch of those dinosaur movies?

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Yeah, he did something
like, uh, Valley of the--

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-"Valley Of The Mist," right.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And you'll be surprised to
know that a very young stop

{\a1\pos(96,460)}animation animator
was on the scene

{\a1\pos(96,460)}just learning from
Willis O'Brien,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and that man was
Ray Harryhausen.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And he also worked on
"Mighty Joe Young."

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Oh, so that's why
we're confused.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-That's right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}But you guys did a
great job on this model.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}-Thank you.
-Thanks.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Hey, Cambot, bring
it in a little bit.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's almost time to
go to Commercial Sign.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Um, we'll be right
back, everybody,

{\a1\pos(54,432)}right after Commercial Sign.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[music playing]

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-And gentlemen, we must
proceed as if there are--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Yeah, that was a
cute little model.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}I thought it was pretty cool.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Yeah, it was pretty
cool, I thought.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-We worked all night on it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- --volcano, almost directly
across from the fissure

{\a1\pos(96,460)}where you and Dr.
Scott descended.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You will see here
is the fissure.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}This is San Lorenzo.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-On the Isle of Langerhans.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-It was here, exactly here,
that the photograph was taken.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Gentlemen, I still
think you're making

{\a1\pos(33,460)}a mountain out of a molehill.
-Actually, it's a volcano.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Dr. Velasco knows
how that mountain

{\a1\pos(96,432)}went when we blew it up.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Nothing could live under
those tons of rock.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Not if they were
under the rocks, no.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-I don't think I
quite follow you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-From your description,
what Dr. Velasco told us,

{\a1\pos(99,460)}it is obvious that the
cavern into which you two men

{\a1\pos(12,460)}descended part of Chamilpa
Caves, huge tunnels

{\a1\pos(78,460)}that right run under the
earth at depths up to 5 miles.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-(DR. STRANGELOVE VOICE)
Where we could live so that

{\a1\pos(138,460)}the animals could be
bred und slaughtered!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Some are flooded, part
of the underground lakes.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Look at that.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}He's sporting a girdle.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}Check it out, look.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Notice how this
large fissure here

{\a1\pos(117,460)}is directly above this
arm of the system.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-(DR. STRANGELOVE VOICE)
Which is slightly swollen due

{\a1\pos(180,460)}to the pressure
on ze naught bits!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}-It's exactly the place where
you took our photographs.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Here on the seventh green.
Dog leg left.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Now also notice that here where
the scorpion was photographed

{\a1\pos(12,460)}form the air is also part
of the connecting system.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The scorpions could easily
have fled underground

{\a1\pos(201,460)}to one of many
underground shelters.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Uh, is this is going
to be on the final?

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-What is that long arm there?

{\a1\pos(78,460)}-That's the cavern which
extends southward to within 20

{\a1\pos(117,432)}miles of Mexico City.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}There where it lies
under the [inaudible].

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Hey, it's Walt
Disney and friends.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-And Adolphe Menjou.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-How many of the scorpions
might have decided to rush here,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and when will they decide to
come to the surface after Bob?

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-(TOGETHER) After Bob?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-So that is why we
brought you here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}The day after
tomorrow, we want you

{\a1\pos(57,460)}to address a group of
scientific and military experts

{\a1\pos(138,460)}so that we may plan
for any emergency.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-And we enjoy your company.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-What kind of rifles
were you using?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}How powerful?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Well, the cartridges
I was using

{\a1\pos(12,460)}are supposed the penetrate
2 inches of steel.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-But then I'm flying.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- --didn't even
stop the scorpions.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}How do they kill each other?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}-The throat.
-Mental warfare.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-There's a small spot
right here that has armor.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}That's its weak point.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-And its breath.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-When they attack
each other, of course,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}they have the poison to inject
into their enemy's throat.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Can you duplicate the poison?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-No, not without
a giant scorpion.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-What we need is something that
will penetrate that small area

{\a1\pos(117,460)}exactly and then send
some sort of poison

{\a1\pos(33,432)}into the circulatory systems.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Uh, hm.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-What it could be,
I have no idea.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-We'll deploy a
small throat lozenge.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- --but with a
meeting on Friday,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm sure we will
reach a solution.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Gentlemen, I do not
have to tell you that--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-No, you don't.
Be quite.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Everything we discuss
here is absolutely secret.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-I'm gonna tell!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-This city has four
million people.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}If word of this leaks out,
the panic of the population

{\a1\pos(201,460)}could be worse
than the scorpions.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-He's got the pi
sign on his head.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Meanwhile, at the Stork Club.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}I think I'll have the bowl.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}You, honey?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Nice dress, nice girl.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Well-- oh, you mean me.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Well, thank you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I'm glad you can
see me in something

{\a1\pos(12,460)}else besides those clothes
I wear at the ranch.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Huh?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-You mean that
woodchuck costume?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-So am I.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Hank, what's the
meeting on Friday about?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-About 3 o'clock.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Oh, some geophysical conference
Dr. Velasco ropes us in on.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Cigarette?
-Yes, it is.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-No, thank you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-After you finish
that, where, uh,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}where am I taking
you for dinner?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Uh, how about the IHOP?

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-It's only 9 o'clock.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-That's what I mean.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Do you realize
this is Mexico City,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and no one has dinner
before 11 o'clock at night?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Then it should be
easy to get a table.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}- --midnight.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Why, it's practically
afternoon right now.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-What are you, on Doctor
Seuss time all of a sudden?

{\a1\pos(306,432)}Hey!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Oh, am I going to
have trouble with you.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Well, you work on it, teacher.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}I think you can solve me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Hey, look at me, I'm a
Rubik's cube all of a sudden.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Whoa!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Meanwhile, at the
toboggan room at the IHOP.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Another waffle, my dear?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Another short
stack for table 12.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Aren't you overdoing
it a bit, Hank?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-No, these waffles
go right to my head.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}I'm in love.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-I'll make an
impression on you in 48

{\a1\pos(96,460)}hours that'll last
for two months.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What's the matter,
don't you like caviar?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Oh, I love it.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-But not on my pancakes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-But I must say, I
could never understand

{\a1\pos(117,432)}why it's so expensive.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Well, it's a whole year's
work for a sturgeon.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-Ha ha ha!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}That guy!

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-He's a card.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}He's a regular fish egg.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-He gets all the good lines.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-It's been wonderful
these past two days.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Yeah, should I be going
bed, or going to work,

{\a1\pos(138,432)}or getting up, or--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-There's water
coming out as a neck.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}Look at that.
-I wish you'd change your mind.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You don't have to go away,
and that volcano can wait.

{\a1\pos(306,432)}-No.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You'll get through with
your speech tomorrow

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and your silly
expedition, and I'll

{\a1\pos(54,432)}do everything I have to do.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And then when we come back,
we won't a worry in the world.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Yeah, except you'll make
me look at his model train

{\a1\pos(138,432)}all night, probably.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Big, crusty scorpions here.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Get your big, crusty scorpions.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-I was afraid of this.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Scorpion hobos.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Putting pesos on the tracks
to see if they flatten.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Hey, crusty, what's your sign?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}Just kidding.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I think it can, I think
I can, I think I can.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Yeech!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ew!
-What's worse?

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Hey, get me!

{\a1\pos(12,432)}I'm messing up time timetables!

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Whoa!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-He's going to play
chicken with the train.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Wow, I should not have
had all that tequila.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}I feel so rocky.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}Oh, man.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Aieee!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-There's a bug on
your windshield.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Hey, this isn't my fault.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm taking no kind
of pay cut for this.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Now if you'll look out the
left side of your train,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}you'll see the right
side of the train.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}-Mm-mm!
Canned people.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Mm, scorpions just love trains.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-We at Amtrak would
like to apologize

{\a1\pos(117,460)}for any inconvenience
that may have caused.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}This rarely ever happens.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Oops, not quick enough.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}[roaring and screaming]

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-That's gotta hurt.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}I'm hungry for Mexican.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Don't run, just
look unappetizing.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-He ordered a stinger.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Smear yourself
with axle grease.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}They hate that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Now for you folks,
uh, playing at home,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}keep in mind scorpions,
unless genetically mutated,

{\a1\pos(201,432)}do not growl.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-It's like a scorpion
battle royale happening.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}NEWSCASTER (ON RADIO):
We interrupt this program

{\a1\pos(33,432)}to bring you a news bulletin.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The express from
Monterrey has been

{\a1\pos(12,432)}derailed outside of Mexico City.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Early reports indicate an
appalling loss of life.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Do you know the
way to Monterrey?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}NEWSCASTER (ON RADIO): --state
that monster scorpions have

{\a1\pos(96,460)}swarmed around the
wreckage creating havoc.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}One moment, please.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}We're trying to get through
to the emergency area.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-But first perhaps you would
like to upgrade your pledge

{\a1\pos(12,432)}from the $50 to the $100 level.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}ANNOUNCER (ON P.A.):
--units indicate

{\a1\pos(180,460)}that many of the
victims of the disaster

{\a1\pos(33,460)}are so badly injured there is
little hope of their survival.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-It's called death.
Deal with it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}ANNOUNCER (ON P.A.): All
ambulances, private cars,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}trucks, and other vehicles
have been commandeered

{\a1\pos(96,460)}by the authorities
in this emergency.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}We've received a verified report
from the scene of the wreck

{\a1\pos(138,460)}confirming that 129
persons are killed

{\a1\pos(33,432)}and hundreds unaccounted for.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Survivors report that a giant
black scorpion has attacked

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and killed the smaller
scorpions and is

{\a1\pos(54,432)}now headed for Mexico City.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Oh, a time to find you.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-What can we do?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Well, don't ask Groucho.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-You'll know soon enough.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're still not sure how
many of them are left,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}but I believe the larges
may be the only one.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}With the lust for
blood after the wreck,

{\a1\pos(96,432)}the scorpions went mad.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The largest killed
four of them and I

{\a1\pos(117,460)}think may have killed
the rest of them.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Where is this scorpion?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-We've lost it in the
hills 10 miles out of town.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-But the boys are dusting
for prints as we speak.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}[phone ringing]
-It's 11 o'clock.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Time to eat now.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yes!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}It has been seen.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Let's go.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Better eat first.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[music playing]

{\a1\pos(138,460)}ANNOUNCER (ON P.A.):
Attention, attention.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}The city is under marshal law.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Hey, it's the Disney Channel.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}ANNOUNCER (ON P.A.): All
inhabitants living north

{\a1\pos(138,460)}of Tacamia and west
of Guadalupe are

{\a1\pos(33,432)}ordered to leave their homes.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Hey, Panama, 1990.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}What do you know?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Listen, darling, you get in
that building and stay there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}ANNOUNCER (ON
P.A.): The scorpion

{\a1\pos(33,432)}has not yet reached the city.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}It has now been
verified that only

{\a1\pos(180,460)}one giant black
scorpion is alive.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-It's panic days here in Panama.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I must be crazy to be
putting this much on sale!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}ANNOUNCER (ON P.A.):
--completely surrounding

{\a1\pos(12,432)}the area where it was last seen.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Panicked young school
boys, only $15.99.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}How do we do it?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Volume, volume, volume.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Don't put extension
cords under loose rugs.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}ANNOUNCER (ON P.A.): Sections of
the community have been thrown

{\a1\pos(33,460)}into a state of panic, adding
greatly to the burden--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-How many college
students do you

{\a1\pos(33,432)}think you can fit in this bus?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}ANNOUNCER (ON P.A.): --vital
to the defense of the city.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-If rifles and canon
won't stop it--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}COSIO (ON RADIO):
Major Cosio here.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yes?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}COSIO (ON RADIO):
We have narrowed

{\a1\pos(96,460)}the ring one mile
along [inaudible].

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Operation is proceeding.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-OK, that's fine.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Have Major Ortega
meet us in front

{\a1\pos(12,432)}of the stadium with the weapon.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-What?

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Major Ortega, Major Ortega?

{\a1\pos(138,432)}This is Dr. Velasco.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Meet us in front of the stadium
with the weapon and generator.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-But what kind of weapon?

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Is it bigger than a breadbox?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-I hope it is a weapon.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Just not it is only a prayer.
-Dr. Velasco.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yes?

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Just pretend you understand.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- --to move all the heavy
equipment into the stadium.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Colonel Sanchez, Colonel
Sanchez, Dr. Velasco here.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Move all the heavy equipment
into the stadium right away.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-France, 1940.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The Germans cross easily
through the French battalions

{\a1\pos(180,432)}and Paris falls.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Millions run before the threat
of the giant Nazi scorpion.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}Wait a second.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}This isn't Paris.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}It's not '41!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm not Lowell Thomas!
-Serpentine!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Yeech!

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-It's Panic Days' final hours!

{\a1\pos(138,432)}Everything must go!

{\a1\pos(33,432)}Every item in town is on sale!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Everyone coming into the black
giant scorpion gets in free.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}No offer will be considered.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hot dogs and balloons
for the kiddies.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Oh, hiya, crabby.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-The carnage.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}The Chevy.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-You are looking live at blasted
out Velagro Stadium where just

{\a1\pos(54,460)}in a few minutes puny local
authorities will attempt

{\a1\pos(138,460)}to take on a giant,
blood thirsty,

{\a1\pos(33,432)}genetically bloated scorpion.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-The projectile
enters the throat--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-If I'm lucky, Dr.
Velasco, but I have never

{\a1\pos(12,432)}used a weapon like this before.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Oh, come on.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You never worked
on a whaling ship?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Attached to the projectile
is a copper wire,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}then the insulated
wire which leads

{\a1\pos(12,432)}to the cable and the generator.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}It should give 600,000 volts.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-That is, if we
can find an outlet.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Fly, monkeys, fly!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[laughing]

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Plenty of parking.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}-What the--
-Um--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-This meat should
bring him in here.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-I hope so.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Gee, if you're making
soup for 10,000,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}that's all you need
to make a great stock.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-You might need more
than one shot, Major.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Hey, you can't
leave those here!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Damn frat boys.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}-Meanwhile, in ancient
Greece, the same war raged on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-In the Vatican, Noriega
cries, "I need more beef!"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Nuns load truck after
truck of tasty beef

{\a1\pos(12,460)}in an attempt to quell the
hunger of the papal pal.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}COSIO (ON RADIO): Senor Boredo.
-Yes, yes?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}COSIO (ON RADIO): The scorpion
is following the meat wagon.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Sort of like a surreal version
of the Chuck Wagon commercials.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ya!
Ya!

{\a1\pos(306,432)}Ya!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}--[sniffing] Is that
you or is it starting

{\a1\pos(54,432)}to smell like beef in here?

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[roaring]

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-There it is.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-It's there all right.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-A fabulous arsenal
is assembled.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Tanks, fire power,
snow plows, Chevys.

{\a1\pos(306,432)}Huh?

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-I can seat you up front, sir.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Wow, you know, Dan
Witkowski really

{\a1\pos(12,432)}puts on a half time show.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Hey, when do the Elvis
impersonators come out?

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Well, the missile didn't work.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}Let's send in the bulldozer.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Queequeg, I feel the
presence of the great white!

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Watch for her to surface!

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-The throat, Major.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Remember, the white
area on the throat.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-The head comes back
just before it strikes.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Right.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Hit him right above
the silk scarf, Chabby.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-You beautiful SOB,
I read your book.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}-Yeech!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-I'll be Pavlov, watch.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}Ding ding ding ding ding!

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Yeech.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}[roaring]
-Yuck!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-Could they use that mucous
shot a few more times?

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Shoot.

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-You missed!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-You should have
used a spinner bait.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Now go out there and get it.

{\a1\pos(264,432)}-Uh, no.

{\a1\pos(138,432)}-Watch out for that.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Don't-- oops.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}-Turn it off!
Turn it off!

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-I'm union, I can't touch it.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Sorry.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-That's one persistent scorpion.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}-Ah, we missed the first half.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}-Oh!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Nice move, but I've go
to wonder if there wasn't

{\a1\pos(117,460)}a little contact with
the ground there,

{\a1\pos(12,432)}and that would nullify the play.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-Well, let's roll back
the instant replay here.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Yep, there it is.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Definitely contact
with the ground.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}-Yeech!

{\a1\pos(180,432)}Not again!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I wonder that he wants.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Got to make this good.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}My babe's in the crowd.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-The spear is up, and it's good!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}-Mmm!
-Score!

{\a1\pos(222,432)}-Switch on!

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-Mexico 3, Scorpion nothing.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}-(JULIA CHILD VOICE) Now how
do you boys like yours done?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I like mine crispy
on the outside.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-While Jim subdues
the angry scorpion,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'll mix up a roux
for a tasty gravy.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}-(JULIA CHILD VOICE) Now
while your scorpions are being

{\a1\pos(12,460)}cooked, you could, uh, fix
up a nice salad that could be

{\a1\pos(12,432)}done when you're ready to serve.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-He's down for the count.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}-You touch him.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}I'm not gonna touch him.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Turn it off!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-You laughed when I
started my soup stock.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-(CAJUN ACCENT) Whoo!

{\a1\pos(12,432)}A little onion, cayenne pepper.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Whoo!

{\a1\pos(96,432)}Good stock, I guarantee.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Now we can secure some
of the actual poison

{\a1\pos(96,432)}from the scorpion, REX.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-All right, serve the salad.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Analyze it and created a
simple protection against them

{\a1\pos(183,460)}if ever again.
-Hank, Velasco wants to--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-Gentlemen, we must
not waste any time.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}If we could all meet
tomorrow at my laboratory.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-Fresh from his
Broadway stint as Lenin.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Hank, Senorita Alvarez,
we have not yet finished.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Oh, we have.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Neither have we.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-'Twas beauty that
killed the beast.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-We better get out of here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-That scorpion's not going
to be drooling anymore,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}that's for sure.
-Nope.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Let's get out of here.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}-Is that just a serving
suggestion, by the way, there?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}-I think it is.
-Yeah, I think so.

{\a1\pos(180,432)}[music playing]

{\a1\pos(285,460)}-Whoo.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}-Boy, that was terrifying.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Well, we finally
got through that one.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's the end of
the experiment,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and it's time for our favorite
segment of the show when we get

{\a1\pos(12,460)}to read some of the really great
fan mail we've been getting

{\a1\pos(201,460)}up here on the
Satellite of Love.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-It's juicy self-indulgence.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Yeah, it's great.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Cool.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-And this first one
comes from a Kevin Covey.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Let's put that up on
the screen, Cambot.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And Kevin writes, "I enjoy
watching MST3K very much.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}The old '50s and
'60s, black and white,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}horror and science fiction
movies are a passion of mine.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The worse they are,
the more I like them.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Anything that gets more than
a one star rating in the "TV

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Guide" is too good
to be watched."

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Well, that says a lot for our
show, doesn't it, you guys?

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Yeah.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}-It says a lot about
self-abuse, too.

{\a1\pos(117,432)}-Yeah, Kevin L. Covey.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}The next one we've got is
addressed to how, Crow.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}It's from Tony Pepdart--

{\a1\pos(306,432)}-Me?

{\a1\pos(138,432)}- --from Palo Alto.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}He says, "Dear Crow--" Let's
have an extreme close up here

{\a1\pos(96,460)}on Crow as I read
this. "Dear Crow, I

{\a1\pos(96,460)}think you're doing
a fantastic job.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Hah!

{\a1\pos(201,432)}SERVO: Ptooey!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-"I find your commentary,
for the most part,

{\a1\pos(96,432)}insightful and relevant.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}There are times, however,
when it appears as though

{\a1\pos(54,460)}you are forcing the issue--"
SERVO: Hah!

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Psych!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-"and just trying
a little too hard.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I understand the frustration
you must feel given

{\a1\pos(54,460)}the fact that you are such a
unique entity in your field."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-True, I'm an artist, you
know, subject to moods.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-"You must feel as though
your chrome somehow stands out

{\a1\pos(138,460)}as a glaring defect,
lessens your credibility

{\a1\pos(138,432)}in the public mind.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Because of this, you sometimes
talk simply to be heard,

{\a1\pos(117,432)}simply to say, hey--"

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-No, I don't think so.
SERVO: I agree with that.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-I don't just talk
simply to be heard.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I have a reason
behind my talking

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-"Simply to say, hey,
I'm Crow, look at me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And this, my friend,
is dangerous stuff.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I sense you are
slightly ill at east

{\a1\pos(96,460)}at being the only
Crow host on TV.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}By trying to prove to the
others that you are indeed

{\a1\pos(138,460)}capable of the task
at hand, you actually

{\a1\pos(33,432)}do damage to your own cause."

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Uh--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-"I realize the pressure
you are under and with

{\a1\pos(96,460)}only the best for
you and Servo."

{\a1\pos(36,460)}-Uh, that's enough.
I think that's great, thank you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-"These remarks were not
intended to be scathing,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}but rather as helpful aids
to your future success."

{\a1\pos(12,460)}-Oh, thank you very much.
SERVO: Look at him score.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}This is great.

{\a1\pos(33,432)}I love this part of the show.

{\a1\pos(54,432)}-So that's from Tony Pepdart

{\a1\pos(201,432)}-Thanks, Ton.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Loser.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}-What do you think of
the experiment, sirs?

{\a1\pos(54,432)}Take it easy there, you two.

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-What about the address?

{\a1\pos(96,432)}-Oh, the address.

{\a1\pos(12,432)}We always forget that, don't we?

{\a1\pos(96,96)}Uh, do you want to
do it, Tom Servo?

{\a1\pos(78,96)}Cambot, put it up on the
screen for the folks on Earth.

{\a1\pos(12,96)}-It's the Mystery Science
Theater 3000 Information Club,

{\a1\pos(96,96)}P.O. Box 5325, Hopkins,
Minnesota, 55343.

{\a1\pos(180,96)}Have the biggest
brain on your block.

{\a1\pos(96,68)}-That's it, sirs.

{\a1\pos(96,68)}What do you think?

{\a1\pos(222,96)}-I think the
swelling's going down.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Yes, and I think
you should file this.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}Here.

{\a1\pos(285,432)}-Fine.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}-Until next time,
Mr. Skin On Wiener.

{\a1\pos(201,432)}[theme music]