Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988–1999): Season 11, Episode 12 - Squirm - full transcript

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- ♪ In the not-too-distant
Future ♪

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Somewhere in time and space ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}♪ Mike Nelson
And his robot pals ♪

{\a1\pos(12,460)}♪ Are caught in a nasty place ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ They try to survive
The wrath of Pearl ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Just an evil gal who
Wants to rule the world ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ From her castle below
She sets her sights above ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Just to torture
All the captives ♪

{\a1\pos(75,460)}♪ On the Satellite of Love ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Get me down!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}♪ We'll send him
Cheesy movies ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ The worst I can find
La-la-la ♪

{\a1\pos(159,460)}♪ He'll have to sit
And watch them all ♪

{\a1\pos(75,460)}♪ And we'll monitor his mind
La-la-la ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Now keep in mind
Mike can't control ♪

{\a1\pos(117,460)}♪ Where the movies
Begin or end ♪

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- ♪ He'll try to
Keep his sanity ♪

{\a1\pos(201,460)}♪ With the help
Of his robot friends ♪

{\a1\pos(117,96)}♪ Robot roll call
Cambot! ♪

{\a1\pos(201,96)}- ♪ You're on ♪
- ♪ Gypsy! ♪

{\a1\pos(117,96)}- ♪ Oh my stars ♪
- ♪ Tom Servo! ♪

{\a1\pos(117,96)}- ♪ Check me out ♪
- ♪ Croooow! ♪

{\a1\pos(117,68)}♪ I'm different ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ If you're wondering
How he eats and breathes ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ And other science facts
La-la-la ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}♪ Then repeat to yourself
It's just a show ♪

{\a1\pos(159,460)}♪ You should really
Just relax ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ For Mystery Science
Theater 3000! ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( BOTS HUMMING )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hi, folks.
Mike Nelson here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Crow and Servo
are about to help me

{\a1\pos(57,460)}with the annual
Satellite of Love safety check.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}You guys ready?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Roger.
- Ramjet.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- All right, uh,
fire extinguishers.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Empty.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Shot 'em off
in your face-- next.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Okay, uh, flare gun.
- Ibid.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Shot 'em off
in your face-- next.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Right--
uh, first aid kit?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I used it to treat
your flare burns, heh-heh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- All right, parachutes.
- Gym class.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Okay, life vests.
- Falsies.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Ham radio.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mistook it
for an actual ham.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SERVO SMACKING HIS LIPS )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- There, the Satellite of Love
is completely unsafe.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Hey, does anything
work at all?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, the toaster oven.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We used it to bake
the ham radio.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mm.
- Oh, okay.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Uh, well, then,
uh, we're dead.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}We'll be right dead.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Come on, Mike,
we're gonna go stick our heads

{\a1\pos(96,460)}in the towel dispenser.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Whee!
( LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- The list of emergency
numbers by the phone.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We threw it out

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and replaced it with
a Jeff Foxworthy joke book.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )
- Ah, good work.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, uh, yes,
Pearlie-vu?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I do the cute names
around here, Nel-son.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}Well, anyway,
you can't bother me today

{\a1\pos(96,460)}because I'm very happy.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- Uh, Pearl,
this isn't so happy-- smile.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Anyway, you can't bother me
today, because I'm very happy.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It's time for our first annual
Castle Forrester Fair.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Uh, yay.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Here's the plan.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}First, we take over
a local fair,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}then a county fair,
then the state fair,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}then the world's fair,
and then the universe fair.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( SINISTER LAUGHTER )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}And it starts so simply--
a couple of crappy rides,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}livestock, corndogs,
butter sculptures.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Our grandstand act is this
authentic cardboard replica

{\a1\pos(12,460)}of Mr. Ben Murphy himself.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- And folks in cooking contests
up the wazoo.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}For instance,
I put up some pickles.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Here, try one.
( GAGGING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It's an old family recipe
using cucumbers and Windex.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( VOMITING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}What have you guys got
for the fair?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- What?
Uh, oh, uh--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}no, uh, guys,
did you see the--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Come on, Winston.
- --my project.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Come on, this is
your big moment.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Come on, boy.
- Come on in. Come on in.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}There you go.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Good boy.
He's a good boy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, guys, do you have
a giant pig?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, you bet.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Winston here tips the scale
at 5,743 pounds.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Raised him from a little
eight-pound cutie.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- He's a cinch to win
the blue ribbon.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah.
- Aren't you, boy?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Well, what do you feed him?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Uh, silage.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We have a silo?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- You're not very observant,
are you, Mike?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Giant pig, huh?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Mm, no, the judge says
my pickles win.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Let's visit one of
our many concession stands

{\a1\pos(96,460)}here at the fair.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}One, please.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Coming right up.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Ape hair?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}That's an imaginative name.
( GAGGING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}That's another wonderful
thing about the fair--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}delicious snacks
with funny names

{\a1\pos(96,460)}like dippin' dots,
and pronto pups,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and elephant ears.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}So, what's ape hair?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, you see, I just rip
a big hunk off like this,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}dip it in batter,
and I fry it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Mm, come to the fair.

{\a1\pos(246,460)}Today,
in the loser pavilion,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}we're showing a horrible killer
worm movie called Squi{\r};m

{\a1\pos(138,460)}but, first, a short
made in the 1700s

{\a1\pos(138,460)}about the importance
of springs.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come to the fair.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- He's so good,
he's so good.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Where are you
even keeping him?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- From the feed lock.
He was our biggest.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah.
- Wait, we have a feed lock?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Do you even live here?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Man, I thought so.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}( BUZZER )
Well, we've got movie siren.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wait a minute.
Come on, Winston.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Come on.
- Oh, boy.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Come on, come on, Winston.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Here you go--
go, go, go.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Ah, me, I'd rather have
a case of bass ale.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- People read slowly
back then.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- No, I'm sorry,
but Gilbert won't be able

{\a1\pos(138,460)}to play with you boys
'til later this afternoon.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I want to play,
but I can't.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- He's doing some work for me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Look how ( indistinct ).

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Springs-- I hope
I never see another spring

{\a1\pos(117,460)}as long as I live.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I anticipated
your complaint.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- So, you never want to see
another spring, eh?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Okay, mister, I'll fix it
so you get that wish.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- In hell!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Who, who are you?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- The name's Coily--

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Coily, the spring sprite,
they call me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Coily? Eww.
- I heard your wish;

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and, well,
you're gonna get it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}No more springs for you
from now on.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( BOT SCATTING )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- No springs?
I don't care.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}There's still butter
and meatloaf.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, how'd I get so old?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- My Tamagotchi seems okay.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hm, he parted his hair
with a band saw.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- This Edgar Kennedy
one-man-show is going good.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}- No springs--
hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I love Coily.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- So, one clod says one thing,
and the whole world pays?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I guess.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Can't decide between
short sleeves or long?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Split the difference.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- No springs!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Honey, get the swatter.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, it's not as bad

{\a1\pos(96,460)}as the time I said
no muscle tone--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}never recovered from that.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- No springs!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, and no redemption,
by the way.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, I'll show Coily.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I'm gonna digitize everything.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I've gotta widen my windows.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I've been putting that off.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, the door!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I own your ass, fat boy!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Get back here!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( LOUD CRASH )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- No springs!
- Hee-hee!

{\a1\pos(141,460)}Where does Coily
fit into God's plan for us?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Wow, Billy Barty
was driving the car last.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No springs, my friend,
no springs.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We are friends,
aren't we, Coily?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh, well, I still won't have
to fix the couch, so eat me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, try it eight more times;
maybe it'll work.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- No springs.
( LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Stop him!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Well.
- Well, gee, Coily.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I didn't realize
what I was wishing.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Man.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I'm sorry for
everything I said.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Can't we call
the whole thing off?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Isn't there anything
I can do?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Please let me
take back my wish.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Well--
- No!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Okay, I'll do it
just this once;

{\a1\pos(33,460)}but next time, be careful.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Don't ever make
that wish again.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- So, Coily waited all eternity
for this moment,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and he backs down
almost instantly?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Merry Christmas,
you wonderful old couch.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- From now on,
Coily visited him nightly

{\a1\pos(117,460)}until he was driven mad.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I hear music, are tumblers
coming into the room?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Oh, ooh.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Looks like
Eleanor Roosevelt.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Sufficient springs.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( WHISTLING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You see, fellas,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}the scientific principle
of a spring

{\a1\pos(159,460)}is to absorb energy
and then to release it.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}That's all there is to it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Wow, you just about nailed me
in the crotch there, Steve.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Welcome to Divot Hills.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Too bad, Joe.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, if you didn't
need springs so much,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}that wouldn't have happened.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Rip, tear, expose,
horrify friends.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ooh, that's hot.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Spring-loving bastard.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Nice shot.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Yes, it was;

{\a1\pos(12,460)}but if it wasn't for the amount
of spring in the club shaft,

{\a1\pos(78,460)}combined with the spring
of the rubber inside the ball,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}that drive wouldn't have
gone anywhere at all.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You see, all spring action
depends on elasticity,

{\a1\pos(78,460)}the ability of material
to return to its original form

{\a1\pos(138,460)}after it's been forced
out of shape.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- By anti-spring extremists.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- You know, like the action
of a springboard.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}And when you stop
to think about it,

{\a1\pos(36,460)}even the ground,
the earth is like a huge spring.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}It has the ability--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Okay, come here,
come here a minute.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- --to absorb a blow
and then transmit the shot

{\a1\pos(33,460)}from one point to another,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and that's exactly what
a spring is supposed to do:

{\a1\pos(222,460)}transmit shock
from point to another.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Okay, but let's get on
with the game.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Shouldn't this be over?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- You don't realize
the number of springs

{\a1\pos(75,460)}that work for us every day.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Why, there's a little spring
in your cigarette lighter

{\a1\pos(243,460)}and a spring
in your pencil clip.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Nice touch.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- And the huge springs
that push the railroad trains.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Why, I could name thousands
of everyday uses for springs.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Don't bother.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- More gray asses.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I never realized
until lately

{\a1\pos(117,460)}that springs have
such a universal use.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Why, there's springs
in mousetraps,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}guns, exercisers,

{\a1\pos(285,460)}hinges,
pogo sticks.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Guns, huh?
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Why, it's
practically impossible

{\a1\pos(120,460)}to name a single thing
in which some sort of spring

{\a1\pos(201,460)}isn't essential
in one way or another.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Well, look,
God has a spring.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Take that plane up there,
for instance.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- It's a Zero!

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- It's got a set of
shock absorbers on the wheels

{\a1\pos(243,460)}that depend
on heavy springs

{\a1\pos(204,460)}controlled by
a hydraulic arrangement.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}When the ship lands,

{\a1\pos(225,460)}the springs
ease the shock so much,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}you can't even tell
when you're on the ground.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- That's if you're stupid.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- And as far as
an automobile is concerned,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}why, I wouldn't even
attempt to tell you

{\a1\pos(33,460)}how many various kinds of
springs are used,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}in addition to the springs
in shock absorbers.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Door.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Lots of loose soil
to bury someone out here.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Hey!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You know, the trouble
with people like you guys is

{\a1\pos(54,460)}that just because most springs
are usually hidden,

{\a1\pos(120,460)}you seldom think of
the important part they play

{\a1\pos(117,460)}in the regular operation
and enjoyment of our cars.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Spring-less creeps.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- For instance,
just take those springs

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I mentioned a while ago,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}the springs that are built
under the car--

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ah!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- --provide smooth
riding comfort.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}Spiral coil springs
in the knee action in front

{\a1\pos(117,460)}balance the weight
of the car

{\a1\pos(138,460)}with soft leaf springs
in the rear,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}so that the body always
rides along on an even keel.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( BOT CLUCKING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Can you imagine
what it would be like

{\a1\pos(243,460)}riding along
a rough road like this

{\a1\pos(246,460)}without
those special springs?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Shit.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- And then, too, the springs
in the seat and back cushions

{\a1\pos(117,460)}take up any other
little bumps

{\a1\pos(201,460)}that get through
to the body of the car.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}Yes, sir, as far as
riding comfort is concerned--

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Wow.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- --the tires,
the cushion springs,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and the special springs
under the car

{\a1\pos(120,460)}all combine to give us
a ride that can't be topped.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- The 1941 dull gray-mobile.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Hey, Joe, wake up!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- It's Coily's
army of darkness, look!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Wake up, fellas.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, that didn't take long.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- What's this?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}You guys are
breaking up with me?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- You played a great game, boy,
but you lost.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}What you need is a little more
spring in the old-- aha, ha.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Mm, very funny.
You and your springs.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}I hope I never see another--
- Stop, don't say it!

{\a1\pos(78,460)}Don't ever wish anything
like that as long as you live.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(33,96)}- You'll be the first to die,
heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(96,96)}- Jam Handy reminds you
to keep your preserves

{\a1\pos(117,68)}in a convenient place.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,68)}- Hm. Uh-huh, oh, yeah.

{\a1\pos(57,96)}- This is the night that
the lights went out in Georgia.

{\a1\pos(285,68)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(117,96)}Forward to Fly Creek--
drop dead.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We thought you'd enjoy
reading your movie.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- The most bizarre
freak of nature ever recorded.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, broccoflower.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Of a man named Jed.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Jed!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, wow.
- Yeah, that was inevitable.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Here are some images
to augment our written premise

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that there was, in fact,
bad weather.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( WIND HOWLING )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Uh, please
enjoy these pictures

{\a1\pos(180,460)}while we quickly
finish your movie.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- There are other productions
of this movie?

{\a1\pos(204,460)}- Oh, yeah,
but this one's the best.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Bergman's was a little slow,
no doubt.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, I don't know why,
but okay.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Doesn't this make
you squirm, huh?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- ♪ I can hear the dark ♪

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- It's Paula Cole scatting.

{\a1\pos(138,68)}- ♪ If I listen hard ♪

{\a1\pos(96,68)}- Oh, that's nice.

{\a1\pos(162,96)}Traffic lights
never get to have any fun.

{\a1\pos(12,68)}( OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,96)}- Uh-oh, he's gonna get
Dave Barry all over his head.

{\a1\pos(33,96)}- ♪ Watching in the garden
Waiting in the yard ♪

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Huh, kitten's next job.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Live nude worms.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- ♪ I can feel the dark ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- These new jungle gyms
serve two purposes.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- ♪ Coming up the stair ♪

{\a1\pos(75,460)}♪ Whispering in my keyhole ♪

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- ♪ Evil little kid music ♪

{\a1\pos(75,68)}- ♪ I know you're in there ♪

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- The monster goes down,
he's destroying the city, huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, I'm beat, ugh.

{\a1\pos(12,68)}- Ooh, wee, yield, yahoo!

{\a1\pos(201,68)}- Tough break.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( SCREAMING )
- Steven Tyler worm.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(33,68)}- ♪ I can hear the dark ♪

{\a1\pos(54,96)}- Oh, of the failed career,
Smedley Astons?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- ♪ If I listen hard ♪

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- ♪ I won't sing anymore ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}♪ Until the check
Clears the bank ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- George Manasse--
the "E" is silent.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm a nude model
for Georgia O'Keeffe.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- So, I'm assuming
the hero of the film

{\a1\pos(180,460)}is the guy
with the newspaper.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, crash the cabin
into the side

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and call it an addition.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- The Jim Varney Library.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Ooh, I guess
I am starting to squirm

{\a1\pos(96,460)}a little bit, heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Hm, heh-heh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I love to watch
women exfoliate.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hm, a trap door.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- A black stork.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, no, it's Brad Door.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, I mean it's her.
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Well, Billie Joe McAllister

{\a1\pos(78,460)}jumped off
the Tallahatchie Bridge again.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- That's real kind of you,
Roger,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}but isn't it too hot
for that kind of work?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- No, ma'am,
Miss Sanders, ma'am.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Well, come in
for a cold drink.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- As soon as
I finish this bunch.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Oh, way over southern-ing.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I don't know how Roger
can work in this awful heat.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Mom, we live in Michigan.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- They say
it's going up to 90 today.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Feels like that already.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Check the garage.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I hope nothing got flooded
in the shop.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I stacked everything
off the floor last night.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, for heaven's sake.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Out of Billy Beer.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- The fridge is out, too.
All the food will spoil.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- All the Smithfield hams
will go off.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Where'd you meet
this Mitch anyhow?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Mick-- and I told you
at the dealer show.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}He was browsing around.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- He came all the way down here
just to look for antiques?

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Oh, mama,
he has a five-day vacation

{\a1\pos(117,460)}he'd rather spend
in the country.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}What's the matter?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}What's wrong with him
coming here?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- He'll see us.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Honey, I don't--
( LOUD CRASH )

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Hm.
- Duh!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( RADIO )As reported earlier,
downed power lines--

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Aha, I produced the dustpan
out of thin air.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- All right, all right,
I won't butt in.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Mom, you don't even
have a butt.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I just don't want you
to be too disappointed

{\a1\pos(159,460)}if he doesn't come.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Mother, that's private.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Maybe the bus from the airport
can't get through.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, and maybe giant cows
will attack, too.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}What's your point?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( ON RADIO ): A car rammed
a trailer tractor

{\a1\pos(117,460)}in a section of route--

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- My nerves are still jumping
from all that thunder.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Plus, I'm expecting
a gentleman caller.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( ON RADIO --be blocked,
and you'd be advised

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to use Route 17--

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- I never saw such a storm.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I do hope Ashley Wilkes
can get through.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Something evil
about it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( ON RADIO ): Now here's a late
bulletin on last night's storm.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Most of the damage--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, mornin',
Cindy Williams.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Alma, do you think Roger
would let me borrow his truck?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}That way, I can cut
through the woods

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and meet Mick on Route 41.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I don't know.
Why don't you ask him?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Now I've gotta go play
with the New York dolls.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( ON RADIO ): Most of the damage
caused by the storm

{\a1\pos(75,460)}was due to the winds that--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'm switching it to

{\a1\pos(138,460)}the all Philadelphia
Freedom Station.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I can't wait
to meet this guy.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}You've been yakking
about him all week.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, I have not.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Just fine--
the sink is acting up.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's sassing me back.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- What else could go wrong
around here?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I accidentally married
one of the sheep.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Roger, can I ask you
a big, big favor?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Where'd you get that shirt,
Roger?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Not robbing corpses again?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- It's easier
than going to Pamida.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- How's your pimples?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO )

{\a1\pos(327,460)}Heh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I have someone
to pick up on Route 41,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and the roads are flooded,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}but I bet I can make it
if I can borrow your truck.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, I'll drive you there.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- What's the matter?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Afraid I can't
handle it myself?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, Ma!
- Who's Pa again?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Where's Mick gonna sleep?
In Geri's room?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- He'll sleep on the cot
in the extra room.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You mean the bathroom.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- I promise
I'll be real careful.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You can borrow
the loaner truck,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}but be careful
of them crates.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I've got a full shipment
in there.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Okey-doke.
- Well, here's some lint.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Would you pick up some ice
at Henley's?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Lord knows when the fridge
will go on again.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Mind if I paw
through your underwear drawer

{\a1\pos(180,460)}while I'm here?
It'll save me a trip.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Bad move, Roger.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- If Steve Young and Alvin
the Chipmunk had a baby--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Pogo's back from vacation.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( BABY CRYING )

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I'm sorry, folks.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}We're gonna
have to turn around

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and go back to Poolyville.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}There's a tree
across the road up here,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and it's all flooded out.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}- But I have
a chess club tournament.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Wait a minute.
I'll get off here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( BABY CRYING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Uh, if anyone wants a baby,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'm leaving one up here
in the luggage rack.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hang on.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Imperial Grand Dragon,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and I've still gotta
drive a bus.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( BABY CRYING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- A lamp and an ant farm.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, grab the other end of
my anvil there, will you?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Uh, hold on, my sofa
is down in the storage bin.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Oh, sorry, sorry,
excuse me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, sorry about
that samurai sword

{\a1\pos(54,460)}cutting off your arm there.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Sorry, it's okay, okay.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'm on the Jonathan Winters
workout plan.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Would you have any maps
of the area?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Well, where are you going?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Fly Creek.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Well, it's straight ahead
about five miles.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Flooded out.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You gonna need a boat
to go over there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You've probably
got one somewhere.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Uh, well parried,
my radial-witted friend.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Now, there's another way
you can go,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}right through the woods here.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}It's a half a mile,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}but you'll need a compass
to go there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You should have
one of them, too.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, and you'll need
a conical hat

{\a1\pos(54,460)}with eye holes cut into it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, uh, by the way,
you wouldn't know

{\a1\pos(33,460)}where there's a men's room
around here, would you?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Southern man don't
need you around anyhow.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Jennifer Beals is welding
behind that bush.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Heh, heh, heh.
- Wow.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- So, every object
in the universe

{\a1\pos(96,460)}has its own spry,
satanic sprite

{\a1\pos(54,460)}just waiting for the moment

{\a1\pos(138,460)}when someone wishes
it didn't exist?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, evidently.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Wow, that's weird.
Hey, hey, do you suppose

{\a1\pos(222,460)}there's even
a hellish imp for me?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, let's try it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yeah.
- Shoo, Mike.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I hope I never see Mike again
for as long as I live.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, ho, so, you never
want to see Mike again

{\a1\pos(96,460)}for as long as you live.
( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Okay, mister, I'll fix it
so you get that wish.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, guys, look,
it must be, uh--

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- The name's Mikey--
the Mike sprite they call me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- This is totally amazing.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I had no idea.
- Quiet!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}This has nothing
to do with you.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Wow.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I heard your wish;

{\a1\pos(180,460)}and, well,
now you're gonna get it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}No more Mike from now on.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Wow, wow.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Look at that.
- Live and learn, huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}There is a Mike sprite.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- The name's Mikey.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Right,
yeah, fine.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You got your wish.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Uh-huh-- we, we, uh,
we understand that.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- No, um--
- No Mike.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Exactly.
- Right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ha, ha, this is great.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- What's that you say?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Uh, I didn't say anything.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Neither did I.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You, you got
your wish.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yup.
- No.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Ah, okay, uh, gee,
I wish I could have

{\a1\pos(96,460)}a big Steak-umm sandwich
brought to me by Mike.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, Mike!
Do another.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, for crying--

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Um--
- Let's see.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I, uh, I wish I could
jump on Mike's bed.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}How's that?
- No-- well, hold on.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Does Mike's bed exist
if there's no Mike?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Huh, good question.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You'd better do
an easier one.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- Look,
do you want us to beg you

{\a1\pos(138,460)}to bring Mike back?
Is that it?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Well, yes.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, all right.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Uh, aw, gee, Mikey,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I didn't realize
what I was missing.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Isn't there anything
we can do?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Please, let me
take back my wish.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, okay, I'll do it
just this once.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Right, okay.
- But next time be more careful.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- We will, we will.
- Yeah, right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Don't ever make
that wish again!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Whoa--ho.
- Ah.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Wow.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, so there must be
a sprite for everything.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Now, what if I said,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}"I hope I never see
Mike's socks again"?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Aw, no.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- The name's Mike's socksy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}The Mike's socks sprite
they call me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Right--
uh, we'll be right back.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hey, come on,
I want my socks back.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- No Mike's socks.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Geez.
- Okay, well.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Whew.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, look at that

{\a1\pos(96,460)}he's actually lost
in the Wooley Swamp.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, I don't know.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}This feels like Powers Boothe
should be in this scene.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( GERI LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I said that.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Hi, Geri.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}How you been?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Sharpened bamboo sticks
on the bottom were a nice touch.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ow!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Well, when he wets
in the river-- fool around.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Hm.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'm an idiot.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I'll get you
some dry clothes

{\a1\pos(117,460)}when you get back
to the house.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hope you like
flimsy sundresses.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Say, can we see the weird kid
with the banjo?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, here's Main Street.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Uh, you come prepared,
don't you?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- This is my vent figure,
heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I just picked up
a few things.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Hey, where did you get this?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Used Outhouse
on Wheels World.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Do you like my truck, hm?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Like my Dorothea Chambers
signature racket?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Mm, nice package.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}MICK: What kind of bait
does Willie sell?

{\a1\pos(183,460)}GERI:
It's my neighbor's truck.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}He runs a worm farm.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Mom, you okay back there?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( MUMBLING, MUFFLED VOICE )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}GERI: I promised Mama
I'd stop and get some ice.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}All our electricity is out--
phones, too.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}MICK: Boy, it must've been
a dilly of a storm.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}GERI:
It sure was a dilly.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I never saw so much thundering
and lightning in my life.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Come on, no one's
that southern.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Tone it down.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'm sorry I missed it.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- It was beautiful.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I like a good thunderstorm.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Makes you feel--
- Wet.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- --helpless.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I'll be right back.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Wow, she's nice.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}If I was just
a little straighter.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Wow, the block ice sign
really pulls them in.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I'm going to
randomly nail plywood.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Whoa, she's got one of those
angry bull worms back there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( EERIE MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Peg Bundy getting groped
by Paul Harvey.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- No.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hm, I'll put my hand
up his dress, too.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- What about the Cutters?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}They always had that trouble
with those floods.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}JIM: Yeah, they took
the brunt of it, all right.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}I hear old mama
had to come out in a rowboat.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hee-hee-hee-hee.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Hey, Jim, we heard the whole
electrical tower came down.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Yeah,
lucky it didn't start a fire,

{\a1\pos(204,460)}all that juice
pouring into the ground,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}over 300,000 volts.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, when are we gonna get
those lines back up?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Before I go out of business,
I hope.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, they're sending some men
down from Statesboro.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}They promise to have it back up
by tomorrow morning.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- And in the meantime,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}all that electricity
going into the ground.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}And guess who's paying for it?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- He's actually sitting
and spinning.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Yeah, honey?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Uh, I'd like a large egg cream
and a glass of water, please.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, I've got water,
but what did you say?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}An egg cream?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- An egg cream.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}It's just chocolate syrup,
a little milk,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and some seltzer water.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- A chocolate soda?

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- That's it--
with just a little shot of milk

{\a1\pos(117,460)}to give it a head.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hit him.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, that's probably
the worst storm we've had

{\a1\pos(138,460)}since I was knee high
to a duck.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}We had six turkeys
up there at the house.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}They were out in the field,
and five of those turkeys

{\a1\pos(162,460)}was stripped
of every feather they had.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}And the old turkey gobbler
didn't have a feather over her.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}The turkey hen
stood up there

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and looked like
flapped the wings over--

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- How's that, honey?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- --trying to hide theirselves
like five old maids.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Almost had
a ( indistinct ) storm

{\a1\pos(54,460)}we had about three years ago.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Well, you know, that old pig
up at June Jenkins--

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Well--
( TALKING OVER EACH OTHER )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHTER )

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hey!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Didn't you order
a worm cream?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( WORM SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, there's a worm
in my egg cream!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I ordered a millipede.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Ooh, ugh!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Ugh!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, it's no worse than
putting okra in something.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- If you didn't like the drink,
all you had to do was say so.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}I've got enough problems
around here without comedians.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- What? I found it in the glass;
I didn't put it there.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I keep this place spotless.
- Okay.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}WOMAThis has never
happened before.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, it happened now,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and it's not a good way
to win over new customers.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You know what I mean?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Have we violated you yet?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hi, I'm Sheriff Pink.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Now, why did you go and do

{\a1\pos(201,460)}a juvenile thing
like that, fella?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm gonna Willem Dafoe
all over you.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Where are you from, friend?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- From the city, I'll bet.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- We shape our hair into waves
down here, boy.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I don't want your money.
I just want you to leave.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Southern lunch counters
are a lightning rod for trouble.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Now, don't you think
an apology is in order, fella?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Apologize for what?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}For finding a worm
in my egg cream?

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- What business
do you have in Fly Creek?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I wonder what be so fly
about that creek.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- No business,
just pleasure.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, then you're gonna
want to see

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the possum rendering plant

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and the yam that looks
like Lyndon LaRouche.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ah, no!
- Ah.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( GERI LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Who's ee-eeing?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Mama, this is Mick.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This is my sister, Alma.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hi.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}GERI: Mick got off the bus
and fell in the swamp.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He fell clean through,
even his suitcases.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, well, you can give him
some of Daddy's old clothes.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}They're upstairs in the trunk
in the storage room.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Along with Daddy!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- They'll be kind of big,
though.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Uh, where do I put this?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- In the kitchen.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Ee-ee-ee-ee!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Always properly refrigerate
your chitterlings.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Wait 'til you see
Mr. Beardsley's place.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He's got the greatest
old stuff.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Yeah?
- And he's real reasonable.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You can bargain with him.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Oh, my Lord, I forgot
the clock just stopped.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}What time do you have?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Uh, 11:20.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I arranged to meet him
at his house at 11:30.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We're gonna have to hurry.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Hey, Geri, wait a minute.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}What about seeing the stuff
in your garage?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- We'll see that
when we get back.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Geri, wait.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- What, what are you doing?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Yuck, gross, don't!
Ugh.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- How are you doing?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Just fine.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Excuse me,
I just need an ipecac.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'll be right back.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Mama, we're taking the car
to Beardsley's.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- What about
the dry clothes?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I like to chaff.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Uh, I guess it'll just
have to wait 'til later.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ee.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Hey!
- Don't hit the bionic man!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Hey!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I'm lonely!

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Geri, you know,
I'm responsible for that truck.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}I only borrowed you
the loan of that truck

{\a1\pos(201,460)}'cause you said
you'd be careful.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, you want to
develop that idea?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Roger, what's wrong?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, he had a tiff
with one of his pigs.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Perhaps my damp redness
can help.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Them crates is all empty,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}every damned last
damn one of them.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Damn.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- But I never left the truck,
except to get ice.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Remember when we picked up
Vanilla ice?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Why, it's strange to me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I didn't let them out.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Well, if you'n didn't,
then who did?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( SERVO MUMBLING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We stood to make
eight dollars off that load.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- How many worms were there?

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- I can tell you
how many worms there was.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}There was 100,000 worms,
cost me over $300, sonny boy.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- Look, Roger,
maybe the door was loose,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}and you forgot
to close the crates.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Damn right he forgot!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}He'd forget his head,
if it wasn't fastened.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}He doesn't have his mind
on business at all these days.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- This, I believe, would be
the eponymous Willie.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Look, I'm trying
to run a business,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and you will not,
will not lend my truck

{\a1\pos(159,460)}to nobody, no time,
no more!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ow.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}MR. GRIMES: It's gonna take me
the rest of the week

{\a1\pos(99,460)}to replace those worms,
if I can replace those worms.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You're gonna dig deep,
buddy boy,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and I mean deep,
down to your toenails!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Woo, the old man's arm
fell off.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I have a mind to cancel
your health benefits.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I wish I didn't
love him so much.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Roger, I'm real sorry.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Is there anything I can do?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, baby--
oh, wait, that's me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Well, we'll see you
later then, okay?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I don't care if it's me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- The Ford station wagon,
un-small at any speed.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Well, who's that?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Let's drop in
on the Ziffels.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- We have to stop and pledge
the side of the car.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Um, I have my pocketknife
with me,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}so you're safe, heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Mr. Beardsley!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Your victims are here!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Mr. Beardsley!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}( SERVO MAKING GUNSHOT SOUND )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Well, where is he?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's almost like
he's not here or something.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Mr. Beardsley!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I'm only gonna call you
50 more times.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mr. Beardsley!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( RUSTLING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mr. Beardsley,
is that you?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Mr. Beardsley's bathroom.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'm incapable
of even considering

{\a1\pos(117,460)}that he might be gone.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- All right, Beardsley,
let's go, you and me.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Come on!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( GERI SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ugh, ugh, eh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- What happened?
- Someone had a bronto burger.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- Whoa.
Who do you suppose it is?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}GERI:
I have no idea.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, we'd better get back
to shouting, "Mr. Beardsley."

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Look, I think one of us
ought to go get the sheriff.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'll stay here, okay?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Damn it, bones!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I've always wanted
to say that.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah.
- Damn it, bones.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I'm glad.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Hey, Geri.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Be sure to compliment
my muffin top head.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I think I'd better
go with you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, sister,
let me tell you.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( GOOFY LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Ryan Setzer
at his day job.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Which way?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Around the back.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- We need your help
calling out, "Mr. Beardsley!"

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Hey, no bra on the sheriff.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah.
- It's right over here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- This is too
a real sheriff's shirt.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- My hair challenges yours
to a fight.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Now, listen, fella.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}I don't know what you're up to,
but you sure as hell

{\a1\pos(33,460)}ain't gonna pull this bull
in Fly Creek.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}I want you the hell
out of this town.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- But it was right here,
Mr. Reston.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}We both saw it.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Now, Geri, that's enough.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}I'd expect this bull
from your sister, but not you.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Bull.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Your daddy
was real proud of you.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}If he were alive
and saw you now,

{\a1\pos(159,460)}he'd tan your fanny.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- She didn't do anything.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, I'm gonna let this go,
'cause it's too hot,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and I'm too busy to book
this little city weasel.

{\a1\pos(141,460)}I've got a damn town
to put back together again.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And as for you--
hey, wait.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Where'd you go?
Oh, there you are.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- But if I see you
even one more time--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- That'll be three times.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- You won't even be able to
call a city lawyer.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I'll keep pressing
the phone cradle down.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- 'Cause all the phones
are dead.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Heh, heh, heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- No phone.
- And stop making fun of me.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I'm very vulnerable right now.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( CROW MAKING VOMITING SOUNDS )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Hey, Roger.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Listen, I'm sorry
about those worms.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Ah, just forget it.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Forget what?
Ha, ha!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Geri and I are gonna
go fishing.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You want to come with us?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'll bet you know
all the best spots, huh?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}GERI:
Oh, come on, Roger.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}It'd be better if you stay away
from your father for a while.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- When you gonna do it?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- After lunch,
about an hour.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I'll pack a picnic
of hands and skin.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I've gotta get
some stuff and things

{\a1\pos(138,460)}over at the bait shop.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- That stuff I bait
and stuff and stuff.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I'll meet you
down by the boat.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Okay.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Great,
then you can show me

{\a1\pos(117,460)}how to use the new reel
I bought, huh?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Let's go.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, a new outlet
for my rage.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Do you see Roger around?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Let's ask Mr. Beardsley.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Mr. Beardsley!
- Stop that.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- He's probably at the dock
getting the boat ready.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Okay, good, I just like to
keep track of Roger.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Hey, antique urine stains.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}These are valuable.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}A rare Queen Anne bass lure.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GASPING )
- Drachen!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- The skeleton.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}How'd it get here?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I don't know.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Maybe it took a cab.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- I think it's the same one.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}They all look alike to me.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- That is so fleshist.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Last load of ankles
coming up.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- It's Mr. Grimes.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, thank you.
I was cold.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- All that shirt needs is
a chianti candle and a menu.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Baiter to Her Majesty
since 1667.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( EERIE MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Quit biting my shoulder.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( EERIE MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, he flattened
two garter snakes

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and made suspenders.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- They just managed to avoid
an aggressive worm sales pitch.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Let's tell Sheriff Reston.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Tell him what?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I know. I'm sorry
I even brought it up.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- If only we knew
whose bones those are.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- We'd better start looking
for a boneless person.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( SERVO SINGING "WORMS"
TO TUNE OF "DUELING BANJOS" )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( CROW JOINING IN )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Do you like things?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}I sure do.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- And remember
what I told you.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- In the north,
I'm considered very handsome.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Do anything you can
to keep Roger out on the lake.

{\a1\pos(246,460)}I mean,
at least half an hour.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Then I'll meet you
back at the house.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh.
- Mick, you've got me scared.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Wow, even his touch is pale.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ugh.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Welcome to the club.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}( BOTS SINGING "WORMS"
TO TUNE OF "DUELING BANJOS" )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, my, my, my.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}I do declare,
it is ever so hot, today.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Crow, darlin', be a dear
and fetch Servo a mint julep.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- No.
- Oh.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Uh-oh, looks like
we've got a problem.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, why, Mike Nelson,

{\a1\pos(204,460)}I do believe
you're flirting with me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Why, Mr. Nelson, you're
a big old flirt, aren't ya?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Heh, heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, yeah, Mike,
Servo's become afflicted

{\a1\pos(222,460)}with severe
southern belle-ness.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Yeah, well, he probably
picked it up from the movie.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}He's pretty susceptible
to that kind of thing.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I recommend we administer

{\a1\pos(12,460)}good, old-fashioned Yankee
behavior modification.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Sir, how dare you say
that word in my house!

{\a1\pos(204,460)}- Okay, uh,
let's give it a go here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}All right, Servo, uh,
how'd you like a nice,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}big slice of
Pepperidge Farm bread?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Well, I do declare

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, oh, heavens.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Give it to him good, Mike.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- Oh, I do believe
I'm getting the vapors, oh, oh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- All right, okay,
we're losing him.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Uh, let's give 20cc's
of pastrami to him stat.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Good idea.
- Oh, no, no, you mustn't sir!

{\a1\pos(99,460)}How dare you!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, my, oh, whew.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Ooh, you guys.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}What the hell?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Woo.
- Sorry about that, Servo.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You were alarmingly,
dangerously southern.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, man, I must've been
insufferable.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm really sorry about that.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- No problem, buddy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Just glad to have
the real you back.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, thanks, although
this doesn't really make up

{\a1\pos(222,460)}for the wall
of northern aggression!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}( BUZZER )
- Uh-oh, oh.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Throw and egg cream
into the theater.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Okay throwing the egg cream,
Mike.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Boy, there's nothing like
fresh salt air, huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}ROGER: Thanks, you guys.
Whew, feel better.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- There's nothing like
fresh salt air.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}What is that smell, anyway?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}GERI:
Low tide.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}You can't even swim in here.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I don't know how the fish
stay alive.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Maybe they come
from New York.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Or Massachusetts.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Maybe they do.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Okay, uh--

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Fish love moo goo gai pan.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Lowly worms'
Worst day ever!

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Yeah, Roger,
you're a pro at this, huh?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}What do you say?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Remember
when I said New York?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( GOOFY LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- No, I don't want to waste time
getting them on the hook.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- The Dalai Lama says I must
honor all living creatures.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- I can't.
- I'm full.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- They're disgustin'.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Roger, I don't understand.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Don't you handle these
all the time?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I hate it!
- They remind me of worms.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Well, I'll do it.
My goodness.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- No, no, please.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'm really a snake.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Sss, sss, sss-- see.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Fine, aerate your own lawn.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I don't care.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Leave me alone.
No, stop it, no.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}There are more of us,
you bastard!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}You'll never keep us down.
We'll always be there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We're hermaphroditically
breeding, ha, ha.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Getting smeared
on your sidewalks.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Freedom!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Ah!
- Ugh, a worm had a shiv!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Thank you.
- Are you all right?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- The little mother bit me.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Small mother.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}GERI: Well, Mick, are you sure
it wasn't the hook?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}MICK: Geri, the thing bit
right into my arm.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Well, they usually
don't bite hard enough

{\a1\pos(138,460)}to penetrate the skin.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Let me see.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Of course, your skin
is pretty flimsy.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I never saw one bite
like that.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- I did.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, boy, here we go.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- When I was little,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}my daddy had just started
the worm farm.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Started it
with his own tapeworm.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Experimenting with ways
of getting them

{\a1\pos(117,460)}out of the ground.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Tried electricity.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'm Peter MacNicol,
and I'm concerned.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Took my train transformer
and hooked it up.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Then he wet down the ground,
sat back,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and waited
until it got dark.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Speed it up.
- Did it work?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Come out of the ground
all right.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}( CHUCKLING )
Like roaches up a drain pipe.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Want to taste it, heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}ROGER: Had to pretty near
cut off all my thumb.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Got three on the other hand,
so it's okay.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Roger, I never knew.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- It weren't no big deal.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Listen, um--
- Lick me.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- I'm gonna go back to shore
and put something on this.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Well, I'll go.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No, no, no, no,
that's okay.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You guys row me back.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I want to catch a nap anyway.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}And you and Roger can catch
some fish for dinner.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}It's okay.
- Woo-ooh.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Roger will take care of you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Won't you, Roger?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, hey, hey,
gently down the stream.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- ( indistinct ) to hit you
with the oar here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- So, how is it possible

{\a1\pos(180,460)}that Jerry Reed
isn't in this movie.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I don't know.
- How?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- ( indistinct )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, this hurts more than
when that butterfly struck me.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I guess he went fishing
in his new school clothes.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Mick, could you just help
my mom identify my body?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Thanks.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Save the girl
or go antiquing?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Hm-- antiques, here I come!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Now I can cavort,
and skip, and prance,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and caper all I want!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Wee-hee!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- This is a job
for antique man!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( EERIE MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- This is Willie's Bait
mobile unit.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( SERVO MAKING EXPLOSION SOUND )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- He's got that lighter set
on the Dan Haggerty level.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( SERVO TRYING TO
BLOW OUT LIGHTER )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay, say you're sorry,
and you can come out.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Hm, hm, hm, hm,
yes, yes.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I have a fatal case
of pyorrhea.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Uh, it's Chuck Wepner's skull.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, okay, great.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}You've got my jaw.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now what are you
gonna do, genius?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- The mind melt doesn't work
on dead people.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Please, I need to get back
into Gary Hart's closet!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- What, what are you doing?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Hey, you creepy little wiener.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}What the hell?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- First, there was
tilt down man,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}then southern man!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Oh, there you are.
- Ah!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- That's very funny, Alma.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- What you got there?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Skull--
gonna put it on my bike.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Ooh. Well, who is it?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- That's what
I want to find out.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- You get that
out of Roger's truck?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Shh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I don't think
he'd dig that.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I'll put it back.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Okay if I come, too?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- If you stay here, sure.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Sure, why not?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- ♪ Ever since I was a young
Boy I played the silver ball ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}GERI: Maybe we ought to
go for one more.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}ROGER:
I don't mind.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Charge!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I'm drying out.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I don't think
I can make it.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Nice, isn't it?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Just the two of us
out here alone.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You, me,
and my fileting knife.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- He's staying with you,
will you move him tonight?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Uh, did your smell
just change?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You know better
than to listen to Alma.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Did I tell you
my thumb story yet?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Roger.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}ROGEI wish we could've done
this before he come down here.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- We don't have feet, Ron.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'm enjoying it, too.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You know,
I've been thinking.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Okay, I mean stinking.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- With your daddy gone
and all--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Me having killed him
and stuff--

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Well, I was thinking
you need some help

{\a1\pos(117,460)}with the business,
moving heavy furniture--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Slicing thick flesh.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- I'm ready.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I will dye my hair
clown red for you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'm ready to tell Dad

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I don't want to
take over no worm farm.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- It's so sad the way
small-family worm farms

{\a1\pos(138,460)}are being taken over
by corporate worm farms.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- You know, I've got
a surprise for you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I made you a coat
out of old boxer shorts.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Really?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}What is it?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Geri, I told you
it's a surprise.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, well, what is it?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I'm charmed
by your creepiness.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I've got tickets to
the George Wallace concert.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Roger.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Another half hour
and we strike.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Roger!
- It's him, isn't it?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}He come down here
and busted his way in.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Well, if he come
near you again,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm gonna bust his liver loose
if he tries to touch you!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, Roger,
you complete me.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- No, no, no!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Help!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Ugh, the worms tackled him.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mr. Beardsley?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I should've known.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}You can't drill teeth
without electricity.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, there's someone
drilling teeth

{\a1\pos(138,460)}without electricity.

{\a1\pos(162,96)}- Next time,
I'm gonna wait for a storm

{\a1\pos(117,96)}before I can make
an appointment.

{\a1\pos(12,96)}- Of course, I do treasure
my last remaining tooth.

{\a1\pos(138,68)}- Hey, what you doing?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- No more sucking
whipped cream cans.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I'm going for the big score.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I really have to
check this out.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Far out,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}just like in New York.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- Whoa,
right into the litterbox.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Ooh, clumps.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Hey, her behind is
a little face with a mustache.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Pringles guy.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- She could easily
stomp muskrats to death

{\a1\pos(96,460)}with those shoes.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- You know,
he's a good dentist

{\a1\pos(138,460)}if you can keep him
from knocking you out

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and impregnating you.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- This is really freaky.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}May I ask what
you're looking for?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- X-rays.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}There's three teeth missing
from the top of the skull.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- That's everyone
in the county.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Let's see,
John Birch Society literature.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Insurance fraud,
1970 through '75.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- '76 through '80 there.
What else, what else?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Hold this for me.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Letters from
Der Weise Engel.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Klan minutes, 1972.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, yeah,
nude pictures of teeth.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I need more light.
- Where will you ever find it?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Bring it over here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- It's the skull
of Mortimer Snerd.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- It belongs to a guy
named Al P. Yorick.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Anybody I know?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Aaron Beardsley.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Right on the snout.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}We've got
a pinochle game going.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Come on.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Come on.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- Tarzan's experiment
with electric vines goes awry.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- This isn't suspicious, is it?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Mick!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Mick!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- What's the matter?
What happened?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Roger.
- What is it?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, you've been seeing
another skeleton!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Geri!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Ah, I can pick up that spare.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- They cancelled "Hee Haw!"

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- What is it?
What happened?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- The worms attacked Roger.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, he's got a layer
of topsoil, honey.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You can't blame them.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- They were all over his face,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and he ran off into the woods,
screaming.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I, I couldn't find him.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Were any antiques harmed?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Look, I'm really glad
you didn't chase after him.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}If, if Roger can see,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}he'll probably try to
make his way home, too.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- If Roger can see?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Do worms routinely
blind people?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- The worm farm is much closer
to the lagoon.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Okay, then we'll go
to the worm farm,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and we'll look for him,
all right?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Ain't you gonna put
Mr. Beardsley's skull

{\a1\pos(117,460)}back in the truck
before Roger gets back?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Ow, ow, ow.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- What?
- I didn't say anything.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- No!
- What the heck is going on?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You little brat.
You don't even care!

{\a1\pos(75,460)}He was a beautiful old man.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Cut it out!
Who said I didn't care?

{\a1\pos(141,460)}GERI'S MOM:
What is going on down here?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Patch Ass and Scrawny,
I want you to play outside.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- What were you two
fighting about, anyway?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Nothin'.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( STOMPING FOOT )
- Young lady!

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- I told her it was her turn
to make dinner.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I'll go lock myself
back in the attic.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Well,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}since Geri has a guest--

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Rockin'.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I think it'd be a nice gesture
if you offered to make dinner,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}whether it's your turn or not.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Yeah, okay, Mom.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- It's settled.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I do believe
I have the farts--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I mean, I mean, vapors.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Did, did you remember
to tell Alma

{\a1\pos(117,460)}that you'd invited Roger
for dinner?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Oh, no, I forgot.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Alma, try to think of
an extra side dish.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Lord only knows
when's the last time

{\a1\pos(138,460)}we had two hungry men
around here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- She called me a man.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- She gets kicked by a mule
about once a month.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- I'm sorry.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- It's all right.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It is all right
in this movie.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I'm really worried
about Mama.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}I've never seen her
this freaked out.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- You try and stay with her
until we get back.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Okay?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Thank you, giant sister.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mr. Beardsley!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Oh, shut up!

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I wonder what made
those worms act that way.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Maybe it was the medication
they were taking.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You don't think
Roger's old man

{\a1\pos(117,460)}is fooling around
with electricity.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- What electricity?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Good point.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Is this the pilot
for a worm-based

{\a1\pos(33,460)}antique dealer/detective show?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Look. No springs!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( WHISTLING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- God, I love antiques!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Free kittens with mange.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- I hope we find him
before it gets dark.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- My bedtime is 7:30.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- You wait in the car.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- They clear cut
their whole village.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Ah, the fertile septic fields
of the Deep South.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Give me an actor, please.

{\a1\pos(246,460)}Anyone,
just get in the scene.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hello, come on in.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Roger!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mr. Beardsley!

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Roger!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Do you know where
Mr. Beardsley is?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I'd like to order
a worm gift basket.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mr. Grimes!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- His travel agent
booked him

{\a1\pos(96,460)}a hell of a great
vacation package.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Roger?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Rerun? Dwayne?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Deedee?
Mama?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Shirley?
- Okay, Tom.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}A pencil with hair!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, no, it's her.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, lady, hey, hey,
there's a guy.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Never mind.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Wow, she's swiveling
her head 360 degrees.

{\a1\pos(36,460)}( CROW GASPING )
- A badly dressed swizzle stick.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, no, it's not.
It's her.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Sorry.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Ooh, that was close.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}it's getting mixed up.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Thanks to his website,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}he's shipping worms
all over the world.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- James Harriet, no!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Hm, what could possibly be
on the other end of legs?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I was trampled
by a worm stampede.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Even after death, he has
irritable bowel syndrome.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Don't eat the gorditas!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Stop having worms
in your body, you idiots!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Did you see him?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Get back in the car!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Give me the key!

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- I left it in the ignition.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I'll floor it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}In just ten minutes,
we'll be going 30.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( TIRES SQUEALING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Can you squeal out on dirt?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Mick, what did you see?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Talk about New York?
Two corpses in one day.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Next time you visit me, okay?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Roger?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- No.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Is that enough of an answer?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- His father.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Okay, throw out the anchor.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}( SERVO PRETENDING TO SOB )

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- You know,
I've been thinking.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Why, with the roads
to Statesboro closed,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}we're going to
have to find you

{\a1\pos(159,460)}some accommodations
for the evening.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mr. Reston--

{\a1\pos(141,460)}excuse me,
but this is real important.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Sheriff, I know you think
I'm a troublemaker.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- That's about the first thing
you've said that I can buy.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I don't know how to go
about this, but, uh--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Can I have a meatball?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Well, I think I have proof
that the skeleton we found

{\a1\pos(222,460)}is the remains
of Aaron Beardsley.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Yeah, bite my hair.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- What kind of proof?

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Uh,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}well, we found another body.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}It was Mr. Grimes.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Tell him about the worms.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Worms?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- They bite!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mr. Bean!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mr. Reston,
it's just horrible.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}They attacked Roger Grimes
when we were out fishing,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and he ran off into the woods,
and we can't find him.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Look, if you'll only come
with us to the worm farm,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I can prove it to you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Now, listen, fella.
- I'm damn creepy.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- There's a lot
of spaghetti here.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}It may take us 10-15 minutes
to finish it.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, then there's sex.
That's another minute.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- That's a bigger headstart
than you deserve.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Mr. Reston,
you don't know--

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Geri.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I smell pork,
and it ain't the special.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Let's go.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- We've got clown school.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Now, ( indistinct ),
as I was saying,

{\a1\pos(201,460)}what with
the state roads closed--

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Ha, I stole
a Lion's Club mint!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Where are we going?
- Back to Beardsley's.

{\a1\pos(225,460)}- Whoa,
they have a teleporter!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Hey, Richie Cunningham,
tuck your shirt in, huh?

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- What do you expect
to find here?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Shirt buttons, I hope.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Uh, trying to force out
a chest hair.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}It's not working.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- What was Beardsley doing
in his shop that late at night?

{\a1\pos(246,460)}- Look,
I barely knew the man.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- He was probably working
on a piece of furniture

{\a1\pos(117,460)}and didn't want to stop.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- He's got fewer
rusty appliances in his yard

{\a1\pos(12,460)}than most southern people.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh, not a bad outfit to wear
if you're a southern man!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- That's blood.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- That's what we both lack
in our capillaries.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- What's in there?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}GERI: I think that's where
he gets his well water.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- And candles?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I don't know.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- And luffas?
Where does he get his luffas?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Jame Gumb rents this shack.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, is there a door
to this thing?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( EERIE MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- The tension is thick.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Is the sheriff done
with his spaghetti?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( EERIE MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- It's an historical landmark.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}It's Mickey Gilley's
birthplace.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( RUNNING WATER )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Come on.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}I think Roger and his father
are off the hook,

{\a1\pos(75,460)}as far as killing Beardsley
is concerned.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I deduced that
by not opening the door.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Roger must've
followed us here,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}spying on us all the time
like a little kid.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And then he saw this--

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Wait, not like a little kid.
It was more like a--

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- But why take the skeleton?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- That was the surprise,

{\a1\pos(99,460)}the surprise he was
telling me about on the boat.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Surprise.
- What?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, that thing would bring
$100 at an auction.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}He was talking about
going into the business.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Oh, Mick!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- The business of selling
human bones at auctions?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Wow, this is the south.
- Total chaos.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Then who--
- --is paler than me?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- The worms.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- A certain convocation
of politic worms!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Kevin McHale,
cross dresser.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- We have
eraser head chicken.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Mom, Diane Harvest wants to
take some pictures of me.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Shouldn't you run next door
and ask about Roger?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}I feel terrible
starting without him.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I know how much
he loves creamed kudzu.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- He probably had to work late
at the worm farm.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- One of the worms was calving.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Willie just doesn't appreciate
how hard that poor boy works.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Don't understand that man.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}That's Roger's seat, dear.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Oh, that explains the stain.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Well, what's the difference,
Mama?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Damn, she out-southerened me.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I thought you'd want to
sit next to Mick.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Uh, please pass
something brown.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}MOTHER: Oh, I guess
it doesn't make any difference.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Why isn't anybody eating?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Mama, can we move
to the Bronx?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Um, squirrel, please.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Ah, here you go, Big Ethel.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- I slept with my son!

{\a1\pos(57,460)}- The kid from
"A Separate Peace" is up there.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- He's been around.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Wait, my face is weird.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( TREE BRANCHES CRACKING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Our house just--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( CRASHING/SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Save the chicken fried
collard greens!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}( CRASHING NOISES )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}GERI:
Mama!

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Mama? Mama!
- There, that's my salad fork.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Mama, you all right?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- It would be a real loss
if Mama went down.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- We found her!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- We've got to secure
that tree better.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}This keeps happening.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- First order of business,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}put the washing machine
in the yard.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Hey, you know,
carve that up,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}you've got tree sticks
for a year.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hey, it was just
stapled in place.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Now, let's just
skip to dessert.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- It's all right, Mama.
Nobody's hurt.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}See?
- Hey, I'm fine back here.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Come on.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'm surprised the old wreck
didn't explode.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Hey, Geri!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Can you come out here
for a second?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Damn, he didn't die.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Alma, I want you to stay
with Mama, okay?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Leave me,
skin pigment, ugh.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( GERI GASPING )

{\a1\pos(204,460)}- What?
It's our family reunion.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Relax.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Listen to me for a minute.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Is there some gasoline around?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Sorry, I didn't
listen to you for a minute.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Uh-huh, in the shop.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- And which aisle
is canned peas?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Hey, you all right?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ooh, you need a shave.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Okay.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Scamper, skip,
prance, whoo.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Mick!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Gamble, frolic, cavort.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I recognize
one of the worms.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- They're all gone.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- We don't mess around.
On to the next tree!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Well, what did you
say to them?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- To Oliver Hardy's house.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, ho, ho.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Just picking up Mama.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}MICK: I've got to get some
plywood to cover these doors,

{\a1\pos(243,460)}so the worms
can't get in here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}See, if I'm right,

{\a1\pos(57,460)}the only thing
holding them back is the light.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}Where can I get some plywood?

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- There's an old rice mill.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}It's all torn down.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Where is it?
- I'll show you.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- No, no, no, you stay here.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Your mother looks like
she's about to crack.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}I'll be back
before it gets dark.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Mom cracked in 1953.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Stay in the house,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and don't tell your mother
about what we saw,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}and keep the candles burning.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- What?
- Which way?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Uh, it's straight back
about half a mile.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}You come to this clearing,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}and then there's this
concrete structure.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}You can't miss it.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Okay.
- Mick, how will you carry it?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'll think of somethin'.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Then I'll fail, heh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Ugh, son of a bitch,
great workout today.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Shoot, someone
flushed the toilet

{\a1\pos(96,460)}over in the next county.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ah, I haven't showered
for three years.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Another day won't matter.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hard water, huh?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- And just to make things worse,
a black hole appears.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Breathe deep.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- ♪ Lights out uh-huh ♪

{\a1\pos(138,460)}♪ Dance dance dance
Lights out uh-huh ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Mm, Mike, honey.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, hey, fellas.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Uh, this here is
Emmett the worm.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Emmett, this here's
the fellers.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Hi, Emmett.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Uh, Mike,
you probably noticed,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}but you have
a huge electrode

{\a1\pos(162,460)}clamped onto
that worm's keister there.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, yeah, well,
I was watching the movie.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Mm-hm.
- Yeah, the movie.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, right.
- And that got me thinking.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}I could use the ship's reactor
to turn my worm farm

{\a1\pos(201,460)}into a race of
giant mutant killer.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Well, that's nice, Mike.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Uh, say, could you drop us off
at the nearest satellite.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Yeah.
- Because I'd really like to--

{\a1\pos(141,460)}- Ooh, no time!
Gotta make a race of worms.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Okay.
- All right, here we go.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Look out!
- Whoa!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wow.
- Ah, ah!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Wow.
- Oh, no.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Emmett, dear,
sweet Emmett.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}He died like
all the rest.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No.
- Uh, Mike, you know,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}we usually encourage these
little projects of yours.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- But this is getting
grotesque even for us.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I know, you're right.
I'm a failure.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SOBBING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Ugh!
- Ooh! Oh, good worms.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- What?
- Ick!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Not bad.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- What are you-- stop.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Taste?
- No, Mike, yuck.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Mike, that's horrible!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Oh, come on, try it.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I'm not gonna try that.
That--

{\a1\pos(96,460)}that's delicious!

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Much better than fresh worms.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Mm, gimme, gimme,
come on, come on.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mm, try.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Mm, mm, yum!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Finally a sane use
for nuclear power.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHING )
- Mm-hm, we'll be rich.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Yes.
- Rich, rich!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- And we'll be right back.
( LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Crow, we need
a dipping sauce.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Check.
( LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Gimme-- mm.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- See, it's not true
that I can't get wood.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, shouldn't have had
my chest muscles removed.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Five feet, a break.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Five feet, another break.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Oh, well,
at least I still have

{\a1\pos(96,460)}my short and sassy
Dorothy Hamill look.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ow, my face, ow!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- This could be anyone
who's ever met him.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}He's completely used to it.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( GRUNTING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- My tennis shoes!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- You ain't got
no good way to go, boy.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- You're right. I don't have
no ( MUMBLING ) go, boy.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- She's mine!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Do you mind
if I'm a crazy worm guy?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- She always was mine!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}And now you're coming
down here,

{\a1\pos(33,460)}and you spoil everything!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mr. Beardsley?

{\a1\pos(204,460)}ROGER:
You're gonna be spoiled.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You're gonna be
the worm face!

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- No, you're gonna be
the worm face.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- This is for
Rudy Boschwitz!

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Ah!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Death by particle board.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You're a stupid head!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Whoa!

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Ugh, ugh.

{\a1\pos(204,460)}Hey, this is
Georgia Pacific Plywood.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Ugh, ow.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- The worms observed
30 seconds of silence

{\a1\pos(96,460)}before eating his guts.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Ah, Grandpa tried to
set his alarm clock again.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Man, I just want to shower
and get the dirt off for once.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Mm, beef lo mein.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Yum, yum.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Did anyone see
the Mr. Bubble?

{\a1\pos(162,460)}MOTHER:
Alma, do you hear a noise?

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Just your marbles
rolling around.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- No, Mama.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Take some candles into her.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I was gonna work
on my fade away jumper,

{\a1\pos(180,460)}but sure.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- God, her neck looks
like a xylophone.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- These candles made from Dad
really burn good.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}MOTHER:
They're here.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Mama, don't scare me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I spent my life
scaring you, child.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's my job.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Did you leave the water
running in the bathroom?

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Oh, wow.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Geri, water's
coming out upstairs.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I can't wait to wash my face.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It's gonna be a blast.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- You be careful, hon.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Mm, the worms are
playing kazoo in there.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- No, I'm not gonna
wash my face yet.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}I'm gonna save the joy
'til later.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Twizzler order's in.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Hey, it took all my strength
to get the plywood off me.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- It must've been
one of those things

{\a1\pos(12,460)}where adrenaline kicks in,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}and he gets
super human strength.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Ah.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Why does it not surprise me
that he has weak ankles?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Still, the antiquing
has been great.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- I just want to see
if my wrist is weak, too.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, it is.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I had a Kleenex.
I'm sure of it.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Oh, my shorts are
all punched up, too-- ah.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Come on, man,
make everything lo mein.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}You're looking
quite icky today, Ron.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Thank you.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Okay, first step,
get a shillelagh.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Ah, he's disguising
himself as a worm.

{\a1\pos(78,460)}- I'm glad I traded in
my own skin for lamp ray skin.

{\a1\pos(99,460)}- Okay, shirt,
if you can't stay tucked in--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}There's enough oil on that shirt
to keep it burning a long time.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- He looks like
sentient artery plaque.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Another trip for wood
ends in complete triumph.

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Mm, um-hm.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Ah, she sold herself
for a plate of spaghetti.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Ah, heh, heh.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Well, you're no Barney Fife.

{\a1\pos(57,460)}RESTON: Well, now, how
do you like the accommodations?

{\a1\pos(267,460)}WOMAN:
Mm, just fine, honey.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Gave the camera
to Dustin Hoffman.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Are we just going to
have afterglow,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}or are we going to have sex?

{\a1\pos(183,460)}WOMAN:
Do you have room service?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}RESTOSure do-- all the bread
and water you can eat.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- The worms are driving around
in Matchbox cars.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ooh, I'd hate to pull
bottom of the pile duty.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- What was that?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Don't worry,
I've got the key.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Look at my horrible teeth.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Let me just push
the old wedding tackle

{\a1\pos(96,460)}against you there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Mm, mm.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- I love our creep

{\a1\pos(117,460)}conspiratorial laughs
about nothing.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Stop doing that.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( CHUCKLING )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Doing what?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Being a horrible gray
beaver-toothed Randy Travis.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- That.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I'm not doing anything.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- You know
I'm perfectly smooth.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, no,
they're in the bidet!

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Cinematography
by Seymour Butts.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Come on, Ken,
closing time.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, see you in an hour.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Hey, did you hear something?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- I don't know.
Wait a minute.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}Hand me that candle.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Look, it's that weird guy
who wanted to make a movie.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Let's worm surf!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Everybody frug!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( SERVO BURPING )

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Excuse me.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}What the--?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Ow! Gosh, Timmy, just
'cause you're bigger than me.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- A red-headed
fiber optic cable.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, no, it's her.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- A moldy Slim Jim!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Oh, no, it's her.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, it's just, it's her.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}A drinking straw
that has lint on the end.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Oh, oh, no, it's her.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ♪ Isn't she lovely ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, squirm, I guess.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I'm used to rats, silverfish,
and cockroaches, but this--

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Over here a little.
I lost my keys.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}Thanks.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( EERIE MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Mom's knitting a sweater
for William Faulkner.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Mama, where's Alma?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}- Upstairs.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Hollowed out by worms.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Is the front door closed?

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Uh-huh,

{\a1\pos(54,460)}but I left the back door open.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Trying to get
some fresh air.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Wish there was
a little breeze.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, I didn't see you.
( GERI SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- I didn't get any plywood,
but I broke my ankle.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- It's hard to do this

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and not fall into a Klan
rally down there.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Geri!

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- We must bomb Geri
day and night.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Anybody there?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Mr. Beardsley?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Better than fiberglass.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Keep your home cozy
with wormsulation.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Ah, the hell
with the Olympics.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Argh, I'm a pirate.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Looks like he's lit
from inside his pants.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ♪ I can hear the dark
If I listen hard ♪

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- See, Mike,
I'd go out with that.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}That's how desperate I am.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- You know,
this whole movie

{\a1\pos(117,460)}definitely illustrates
one unshakeable principle.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Never go to the South
for any reason.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}In fact, please, South,
secede, will you?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}We won't stop you
this time.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Oh, come on,
they know we hate them.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Now, stop.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- Sorry, South,
he's a violent little robot.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Pay no attention.
- ♪ I can hear the dark ♪

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, my body's gonna be
dragged up there eventually.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}I'll just do it now.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- ♪ Coming up the stair ♪

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Yep, I'm full of your worms,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}but they did let me
keep my arms.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Don't let Mick live.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}( ROGER SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Somebody told us
there was mulch here.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Happy New Year!
Woo-hoo!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Hey, you run over my friend
with your bike, huh?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Give me those earlobes!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( SCREAMING )
- He's got back pairs!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Ooh, it's Franco-American.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Geez.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Bye, byes.
- So long.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Ooh, there's a lot of
Elton John in that face.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Wow, most faces
can't take much.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- No.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- He's like an unbaked
bread stick in his slacks.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- This shot is for the ladies.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}Rrrr.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}- Hey, hey, it's all right.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Come on, come on,
I'll help you down.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Okay, another one, come on,
one more, one more, one more.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}There you go.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Please ungag me
before making out.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( GERI SOBBING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- It's all right.
Let me get this off of you.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- He was made by
a Play-Doh fuzzy pumper.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( GERI SOBBING )

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- There you go.
It's okay.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}It's gonna be okay.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}( GERI SOBBING )

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Are you all right?
- Uh-huh.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Here, this is the substance
I'm made of.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Come on, come with me.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Does anybody know
where we're going, really?

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- That's Roger's peeping tree.

{\a1\pos(120,460)}- You know, it helps
that I'm smooth and nutless.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}See how my scrotum-less bottom
fits snuggly with the tree?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Must've tunneled
through Vaseline.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- The anti-bird rally
gets violent.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SCREAMING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Squirming is not
doing the trick, sir.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Fall back, fall back, men.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- If the camera
keeps tilting up,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}we'll find something
nice and pale.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}It's there.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- There it is.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Ooh, that one seems
really mad.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Ooh.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- It's Glenda the good witch,
and she's hung up in the wires.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Ow.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- You know, the seniors
used to chase them up

{\a1\pos(96,460)}in the tree a lot, too.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}So did the juniors,
sophomores,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}second grade girls,

{\a1\pos(264,460)}infants.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Her dream date,

{\a1\pos(96,460)}wedged into a tree
with Howdy Doody.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Hey, excuse me.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- I fluffed.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- I thought you love birds

{\a1\pos(117,460)}might want to know
the power is on.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}The power's repaired.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}Everything is good as knew.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Thanks, Hank Hill's friend.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Which direction
is the nearest town?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Mm, flashlight.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}MAN:
Okay.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}Hope they've got
plenty of coffee.

{\a1\pos(75,460)}I could drink five gallons,
right now.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah. Say, did you notice
that we're in a tree?

{\a1\pos(138,68)}- The strangest thing.

{\a1\pos(117,96)}- Ah, he's back.
{\i1\1c&HFFFFFF&}- ( indistinct ).

{\a1\pos(222,460)}( SNIFFING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Did you rub the worms
into your scalp?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Left my shadow.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}Hope you don't mind.

{\a1\pos(159,460)}- Hey, ( MUMBLING ).

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Now, you can't deny that
he was truly a southern man!

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Brown spots on the wall
by who flung--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Okay, we know the rest.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Heh, heh, poo.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Never ask Tom Arnold
to house sit, huh?

{\a1\pos(12,460)}( OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(183,460)}- This is not
a great Remax sales team.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Now, whatever happened
with that guy running around

{\a1\pos(96,460)}with the newspaper
on his head in the rain?

{\a1\pos(54,460)}That's kind of a loose end.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(285,460)}- Gee.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Man, she must've folded
her legs about three times.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- Manute Bol's sister,
Susan Bol.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}- Oh.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Meow.
ALMA: Hey, Mick!

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Wow.
- Geri!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Sh, ignore her.

{\a1\pos(183,460)}MICK:
Stay right where you are.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}Don't you move, all right?

{\a1\pos(243,460)}Don't move.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- The worms are hiding
in the car,

{\a1\pos(117,460)}trying not to press up
against the horn.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}- Please, folks,
remember to worm your dog.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- And if you do start
a worm farm,

{\a1\pos(12,460)}do not raise flesh-eating,

{\a1\pos(222,460)}intelligent,
millipedes by mistake.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- And if you have red hair,
do not mate.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Ever.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Now, how do they
distinguish between

{\a1\pos(12,460)}hold up your house pillars
and cushion your head pillars

{\a1\pos(201,460)}in the South?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Well, usually
it's contextual.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- Oh, oh, thank you, Mike.
You're smart.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Oh, and so what?
I'm an idiot?

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Right.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Okay, as long as it's clear.

{\a1\pos(75,96)}- ♪ How can I ever hold you
long enough ♪

{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Time yourself
with a stopwatch.

{\a1\pos(138,96)}- ♪ One night together
Goes so fast ♪

{\a1\pos(12,96)}- Well, now, your winter nights
are longer.

{\a1\pos(264,68)}- Mm-hm.

{\a1\pos(159,96)}- ♪ Have we the time
To make it strong enough ♪

{\a1\pos(33,68)}♪ Strong enough to last ♪

{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Uh, no.
- No, no.

{\a1\pos(117,96)}- ♪ How can I ever
make you feel enough ♪

{\a1\pos(33,68)}- Well, you can get me drunk.

{\a1\pos(75,68)}- ♪ To get us to eternity ♪

{\a1\pos(138,96)}- Uh, do we have to
sing the answers?

{\a1\pos(264,68)}- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(117,96)}- ♪ How can I make
The memory real enough ♪

{\a1\pos(96,96)}- Try a camcorder.
I don't know.

{\a1\pos(33,68)}- ♪ For the day will be ♪

{\a1\pos(180,68)}- Will be what?

{\a1\pos(180,96)}What'd you say?
- What?

{\a1\pos(138,96)}- ♪ Shadows of life ♪
- Uh-huh.

{\a1\pos(117,96)}- The shadow?
- ♪ Cast by the rain ♪

{\a1\pos(117,68)}- Look at that shadow.

{\a1\pos(264,68)}- Great.

{\a1\pos(117,96)}- ♪ Shadows of pleasure
Shadows of pain ♪

{\a1\pos(117,68)}- Shadows of pleasure?

{\a1\pos(138,96)}- Shadows of the day
will be--

{\a1\pos(159,96)}- ♪ Shadows of you ♪
- Shadow Stevens?

{\a1\pos(138,68)}- ♪ Cast by our love ♪

{\a1\pos(33,96)}- Hey, wait, I'm losing track
of the question!

{\a1\pos(12,68)}- We need a copy for you.

{\a1\pos(54,68)}- Uh, I put down my answer.

{\a1\pos(96,68)}35, is that right?

{\a1\pos(138,96)}- How'd you get 35?
I had ( indistinct ).

{\a1\pos(180,96)}- Well, she says
shadow a lot, so, uh,

{\a1\pos(12,96)}let's all put down shadow
for the answer.

{\a1\pos(180,68)}- Okay, shadow.

{\a1\pos(180,68)}- Shadow.

{\a1\pos(222,96)}- ♪ And try to
Memorize my smile ♪

{\a1\pos(96,96)}- Use a mnemonic device,
if you have to

{\a1\pos(99,96)}- ♪ While we still have
The stars let's try to find ♪

{\a1\pos(138,68)}- Try to find worms

{\a1\pos(117,68)}- ♪ Happiness a while ♪

{\a1\pos(12,96)}- Ma'am, the singer lady,
are we done?

{\a1\pos(54,96)}Can we put our pencils down?
- Yeah.

{\a1\pos(159,96)}- ♪ Shadows of life
Cast by the rain ♪

{\a1\pos(117,96)}♪ Shadows of life ♪
- Shadows.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- ♪ Shadows of pleasure ♪
- Shadows of this.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- ♪ Shadows of pain ♪
- Shadows of pain.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ♪ Shadows of you ♪
- Oh, wait a minute.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Filmed in Georgia?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Well, there's your problem.
- Ah.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Could just as well
have filmed it in Alabama

{\a1\pos(138,460)}for all that matter.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- ♪ Became shadows of ♪
- Film it in Kentucky.

{\a1\pos(264,460)}- Crow?

{\a1\pos(117,460)}( SINISTER LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(285,460)}CROW:
Up here, Mike.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}- Crow, is that you?
You're so high up.

{\a1\pos(162,460)}All's I see
is a little fleck of gold.

{\a1\pos(138,460)}CROHeh, heh, heh,
it's me, Mike,

{\a1\pos(138,460)}dressed as the sister
with the big shoes

{\a1\pos(201,460)}and the patches
on the pants.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}Ha-ha.
- Ah, hang on.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Oh, yeah, I see.

{\a1\pos(267,460)}CROW:
Well, go ahead, Mike.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Have a good laugh.
( CROW LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Well, it's not really
my style of humor, you know.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}Not very subtle.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( CROW LAUGHING )

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Kind of stupid, really.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}I'll go get Servo.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}CROW: Hey, hang on, Mike.
I'll come with you.

{\a1\pos(327,460)}Ugh.

{\a1\pos(306,460)}Uh-oh.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Whoa, whoa, whoa!

{\a1\pos(327,460)}Oh!

{\a1\pos(327,460)}Ah!

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- What's this
you've got for me here?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Oh, it's just
this thing here.

{\a1\pos(201,460)}- Let me look.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Okay, Crow, tall shoes,
falling to a horrible death.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}Oh, that's kind of funny,
I guess.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}- Yeah, it's kind of funny.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}Uh, yeah, what do you
want there, Pearly Pants?

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- There he goes.

{\a1\pos(33,460)}- Ooh, sorry about your little
gold reindeer, Mike.

{\a1\pos(54,460)}I don't know if this helps,

{\a1\pos(78,460)}but maybe you could call
someone who gives a rat's ass.

{\a1\pos(222,460)}- Um, Pearl.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- Almost ready?

{\a1\pos(33,460)}We've got an exciting new ride
at this year's fair--

{\a1\pos(12,460)}the super screamer bungee jump.

{\a1\pos(117,460)}- But I've calculated
both the length of the rope

{\a1\pos(96,460)}and the distance down...

{\a1\pos(96,460)}- Start screaming!

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Exhilarating, huh?

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Want to go again?
Sure you do.

{\a1\pos(180,460)}- I think
my shoulder separated.

{\a1\pos(12,460)}- I have a feeling this is
going to be a very popular

{\a1\pos(117,460)}attraction this year.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}Come to the fair.

{\a1\pos(96,460)}( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

{\a1\pos(54,68)}- You gonna be the worm face!