My Wife and Kids (2001–2005): Season 5, Episode 15 - Silence Is Golden - full transcript
Michael reluctantly accompanies Jay on a meditation weekend, where he has trouble following the rule of silence.
[ HUMMING ]
HEY, SEXY.
SHH, MICHAEL.
WHAT? YOU DON'T HAVE TO
PRAY NO MORE.
THE ANSWER IS HERE.
SHH!
I GOT TO BE QUIET
BECAUSE JAY'S MEDITATING.
CAN YOU DO IT LIKE THIS?
MICHAEL, CAN'T YOU SEE
THIS IS IMPORTANT?
SORRY.
THANK YOU.
STOP IT!!
HOW'D YOU SEE THAT?
MY EYES ARE CLOSED,
BUT MY SENSES ARE OPEN.
THAT'S NOT THE ONLY THING
I SEE OPEN.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
YOU SURE LIKE
THIS MEDITATING THING.
BABY,
IT'S SO GOOD FOR ME.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT?
NOTHING.
I CLEAR MY THOUGHTS.
MY MIND
IS COMPLETELY BLANK.
SO, JUNIOR HAS BEEN MEDITATING
THESE PAST 20 YEARS.
I THOUGHT HE WAS STUPID.
HE'S ACTUALLY THE "DUMMY LAMA."
YOU KNOW,
YOU REALLY SHOULD TRY IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I REALLY WOULD LOVE TO.
IT'S CHANGED MY LIFE,
AND YOU KNOW THIS WEEKEND
IS THE NEXT BIG STEP, RIGHT?
I WISH
I COULD GO WITH YOU
ON THAT SILENT
MEDITATION RETREAT.
TOO BAD
IT'S ALL BOOKED UP.
OH, FUDGE!
OH, MICHAEL.
BABY, I'M GONNA MISS YOU
SO MUCH.
OH, BABY.
[ SMOOCHES ]
I'M GONNA MISS YOU, TOO.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, JAY.
I'M GONNA BE WALKING AROUND HERE
LIKE A ZOMBIE,
CRYING MY EYES OUT
FOR 3 WHOLE DAYS
TILL YOU...
MICHAEL, STOP.
...TILL YOU COME BACK
TO ME.
OH, BABY,
YOU ARE SO SWEET.
YEAH!
♪ THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY
OF MY LIFE ♪
♪ THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY
OF MY LIFE ♪
HOW COME?
BECAUSE YOUR MOTHER
IS GOING AWAY FOR 3 WHOLE DAYS,
AND I GET A CHANCE
TO DO WHATEVER I WANT.
AND THE BEST PART IS,
I'VE GOT HER CONVINCED
THAT I'M ACTUALLY
GONNA MISS HER.
AHH, HA HA!
MAMA DUMB.
HA HA HA!
HEY. HEY.
MNH-MNH, MNH-MNH.
SO,
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
I'M GONNA DO
WHATEVER I WANT TO DO.
I'M GONNA PLAY
VIDEO GAMES.
I'M GONNA WATCH
THE FOOTBALL GAME.
I'M GONNA EAT POTATO CHIPS,
DRINK BEER,
TRY TO CRACK THAT CODE YOUR
MOTHER PUT ON THE TELEVISION.
68629.
MNH-MNH.
MNH-MNH.
68629?
68629, YEAH.
WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA BE DOING?
VANESSA GAVE ME A LIST.
I'M GONNA CLEAN THE BREAST PUMP,
GO SHOPPING FOR CURTAINS.
LATER ON, SHE'S GONNA TEACH ME
HOW TO MACRAME.
BOY, SHE'S GONNA HAVE YOU
PAYING FOR THAT
30 SECONDS OF PLEASURE
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
UNH-UNH.
27 1/2.
HA!
CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK!
NO, YOU'RE A CHIP OFF
THE MILKMAN'S BLOCK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HEY, JUST THE BRATS
I WANTED TO SEE.
LET'S GO OVER THE PLANS
FOR THE WEEKEND, OKAY?
NONE OF YOU
ARE ALLOWED TO TALK TO ME
UNLESS YOU ARE
ACTUALLY IN FLAMES.
THAT'S FINE WITH ME.
ME TOO.
SO,
WHAT KIND OF WEEKEND
ARE YOU PLANNING FOR YOURSELF,
MR. KYLE?
IT'S GONNA BE ACTION-PACKED
WITH A LOT OF KID... STUFF...
STUFF YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND
THAT YOU OUGHT TO TRY.
LET ME GUESS...
MINDLESS ENTERTAINMENT,
BAD EATING HABITS,
AND A TOTAL LACK
OF PERSONAL HYGIENE?
EXACTLY. THAT SOUNDS
LIKE YOU, JUNIOR.
YEAH, AND THIS
SOUNDS LIKE YOU... PBHT!
AND THIS SOUNDS LIKE YOU...
PBHT!
YOU BOTH SOUND LIKE ME
THIS WEEKEND
SITTING ON THAT COUCH.
AND NOBODY
IS TO DISTURB ME
BECAUSE THIS IS
MICHAEL KYLE'S...
WEEKEND.
[ LAUGHING ]
OH!
THAT'S RIGHT, JIMMY.
THAT'S RIGHT...
8:00 TEE TIME.
WE'RE GONNA EAT SOME BURGERS,
DRINK SOME BEER,
THEN PLAY ANOTHER 18 HOLES,
WHICH WILL BRING US UP
TO A GRAND TOTAL OF 54 HOLES.
THAT'S RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA SEE YOU THERE...
MON FRèRE.
DON'T BE SQUARE.
ALL RIGHT.
LATER.
MICHAEL, I HAVE GREAT NEWS! YES!
ONE OF THE MEDITATORS
DROPPED OUT AT THE LAST MINUTE!
NO!
YES!
THEY WERE TRYING TO GIVE
THE SPOT TO SOMEBODY ELSE,
SO I CALLED THEM UP.
I SAID, "MY HUSBAND SAID
HE WILL BE CRYING HIS EYES OUT
IF HE CAN'T GO."
NO, YOU DIDN'T.
YES, I DID.
YES, I DID.
AND GET THIS...
THEY CALLED ME BACK SAYING,
"OH, THE MAN MADE A MISTAKE.
HE WANTS HIS SPOT BACK."
BUT I SAID,
"OH, NO, NO, NO.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO."
THAT MANY NOES?
YES.
AND WHAT DID THEY SAY?
BABY, WAIT.
I TOLD THEM THAT YOU WILL BE
WALKING AROUND LIKE A ZOMBIE
IF YOU CAN'T GO.
BUT I'M FINE WITH IT.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO.
I COULD LIVE WITH
BEING A ZOMBIE.
NO, I DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO GO THROUGH THAT.
WHAT DID THEY SAY?
THEY SAID NO.
THEY SAID NO?
PSYCH... THEY SAID YES!
AHH, HA HA HA!
THEY SAID YES!
YOU ARE GOING!
YOU'RE GOING, BOY!
WHOO!
ISN'T THAT GREAT?
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
I CAN'T GO.
WHY NOT?
OH, FUDGE, FIDDLESTICKS...
THE KIDS.
WHO'S GONNA
WATCH THE KIDS?
THE KIDS ARE GROWN.
NOT KADY.
SHE'S STILL LITTLE.
I GOT TO PUT HER TO SLEEP.
THAT BABY IS GONNA HELP
THE OTHER BABY.
SHE'S HELPING OUT VANESSA
ALL WEEKEND LONG.
BUT I DON'T HAVE
A MEDITATION CUSHION.
OH, SEE, NOW,
I WAS GONNA GIVE YOU MINE
SINCE I ALREADY
BROKE IT IN WITH ALL OF THIS.
ALL OF THIS, MICHAEL!
YOU FIGURED
EVERYTHING OUT.
I SURE DID!
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.
YOU COULD SAY
THANK YOU.
THANK... AH-CHOO!
OOH!
AH-CHOO!
YOU SPIT ON ME!
AH-CHOO!
MICHAEL,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I'M STARTING
TO FEEL SICK.
NO, REALLY?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
AH, AH...
CHOO!
THIS IS BAD.
DO I GOT A FEVER?
NO,
I DON'T FEEL NOTHING.
WAIT.
DO I GOT A FEVER?
BUT IF YOU'RE
CATCHING SOMETHING,
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT,
BECAUSE THEY
KEEP THOSE ROOMS
NICE AND TOASTY
AT 117 DEGREES.
YOU'LL SWEAT THAT COLD
RIGHT ON OUT!
SO, COME ON... GET READY.
WE ONLY GOT AN HOUR.
[ CRYING ]
HI, I'M...
JAY KYLE, I KNOW!
WELCOME TO
INNER LIGHT MOUNTAIN RETREAT!
I'LL NEED YOU
TO FILL OUT THESE FORMS!
YOU ARE GONNA BE SO HAPPY
YOU ARE DOING THIS!
IT HAS HELPED ME SO MUCH!
I USED TO BE SO HYPER!
I HAD
THIS WEIRD NERVOUS ENERGY
UNTIL I STARTED DOING
THESE MEDITATION RETREATS!
I USED TO MAKE PEOPLE
SO INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
NOW I'M SO CALM AND PEACEFUL,
MY FRIENDS HARDLY RECOGNIZE ME.
NONE OF THEM RECOGNIZE ME...
THEY DON'T RECOGNIZE ME AT ALL.
IT'S LIKE, "WHO ARE YOU?"
YOU GET IT?
YEAH, I GET IT.
I GET IT.
WHEN I FIND A PERSON LIKE YOU
WITH ENERGY LIKE YOURS,
I LIKE TO ATTACH MYSELF
TO THEM
LIKE A BARNACLE
TO THE HULL OF A SHIP,
LIKE A TICK TO A FAT DOG.
WE'RE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS,
LIKE THELMA AND LOUISE.
HA HA!
GREAT!
I FEEL LIKE DRIVING
OFF OF A CLIFF RIGHT NOW.
S-SHE'S FUNNY!
SHE'S FUNNY!
ISN'T SHE, PEOPLE?!
SHE'S FUNNY... FUNNY!
OH, MY GOODNESS.
HEY, BABE, I NEED YOU TO HELP ME
FILL OUT THESE FORMS.
OKAY, SURE.
[ GRUNTS ]
I DIDN'T REALIZE
YOU BROUGHT SO MUCH STUFF.
WHAT'S IN THERE?
JUST THE ESSENTIALS...
GOT MY VIDEO GAMES,
GOT MY MUSIC,
MY TV
SO I CAN WATCH FOOTBALL,
SOME MINTS...
'CAUSE 3 DAYS
WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED,
YOU GET A LITTLE TART.
MNH-MNH. NO.
MICHAEL, YOU CAN'T HAVE
ALL THAT STUFF.
THE PURPOSE OF THIS JOURNEY
IS TO MEDITATE
AND GET IN TOUCH WITH SELF.
THAT KILLS A LITTLE TIME,
BUT I CAN'T DO IT FOR 3 DAYS.
I'LL BE CHAFED.
WELCOME!
I'M BODI.
I'LL BE
YOUR RETREAT MANAGER.
HEY, WHAT'S UP, BOOTY?
NICE TO MEET YOU.
IT'S BODI.
BOOTY.
BODI.
BODI.
YES.
LIKE BOOTY.
B-BEAUTIFUL, YES.
LIKE B-BODI.
WE'LL HAVE ORIENTATION
IN THE MEDITATION HALL
IN 30 MINUTES.
BUT FIRST, I'LL TAKE YOU
TO YOUR QUARTERS.
OUR QUARTERS.
LET ME HELP YOU WITH
YOUR BAGS. OH, NO!
OH!
WHAT KIND OF...
I'M AFRAID WE DON'T ALLOW
READING MATERIALS HERE.
YOU DON'T READ THIS.
THESE... THESE...
THEY'RE VISUAL.
THEY'RE VISUAL AIDS.
STEP BACK. STEP BACK.
I'LL GO AHEAD
AND DISPOSE OF THIS.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO
DISPOSE OF IT MYSELF FOR YEARS.
I DON'T KNOW
HOW THAT GOT IN THERE, BABY.
JUNIOR
MUST HAVE PACKED MY BAG.
HERE WE GO.
WOW, I SEE
WHY YOU SAID "QUARTER."
IT'S ABOUT A QUARTER OF THE SIZE
I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE.
HA HA... "QUARTER."
WE'LL ALL BE...
ANYHOO, I THINK
WE CAN MAKE IT WORK.
WE'RE LOVERS,
HUH, BABY?
SURE.
I'M FINE WITH IT.
OH, NO.
WE SEPARATE MEN AND WOMEN HERE.
MRS. KYLE WILL BE STAYING
ACROSS THE WAY IN BUNGALOW 3.
OH, I WILL?
WAIT A SECOND.
WE'RE NOT STAYING TOGETHER,
JACK?
I'M AFRAID NOT,
AND IT'S BODI.
YOU CAN'T SEPARATE
A HUSBAND FROM A WIFE.
EVEN IN PRISON
THEY GIVE YOU CONJUGAL VISITS.
I'M SORRY.
RULES ARE RULES.
MICHAEL, IT'S OKAY.
I CAN SEE MY BUNGALOW FROM HERE.
IT'S FINE.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING
TO WORK OUT
THE SLEEPING ARRANGEMENT.
LOOK AT THAT BOOTY, BODI.
IT'S NICE, BUT NO.
COME ON, MAN, WE'RE GUYS.
I'M A GUY.
YOU'RE A GUY.
AHH!
[ LAUGHS ]
NO.
I DIDN'T MAKE THIS.
THERE'S NOTHING I CAN SAY
TO CHANGE YOUR MIND?
WHOOPSIE.
LOOKY THERE.
A RICH BIRD MUST HAVE
DROPPED OFF SOMETHING
IN THE NEST.
HEY,
A $100 DONATION, HUH?
YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN.
HEY, LOOK...
TWEET, TWEET, TWEET.
THE BIRD CAME BACK.
HE JUST...
THANK YOU.
THAT'S VERY NICE.
BUT YOU STILL
CAN'T SLEEP WITH YOUR WIFE.
HOW MUCH MONEY
IS IT GONNA COST ME
TO SLEEP WITH MY WIFE?
THAT'S BETWEEN
YOU AND YOUR WIFE.
AHH!
I'M GONNA NEED
MY MAGAZINE BACK,
'CAUSE I NEED CERTAIN IMAGES
BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP.
WELCOME TO OUR 3-DAY
SILENT MEDITATION RETREAT.
HOLD ON!
HOLD UP.
SORRY I'M LATE.
I HAD TO GATHER
A LITTLE EXTRA SITTING GEAR,
'CAUSE I GOT
A LOWER-BACK PROBLEM.
EXCUSE ME.
THIS SPACE IS ALREADY TAKEN
WITH OUR INTERTWINED AURAS.
BUT I WANT TO SIT
NEAR MY WIFE.
I'M SURE YOUR AURA
WILL UNDERSTAND.
MICHAEL,
YOU'RE BEING DISRUPTIVE.
GO FIND AN EMPTY SPOT.
GO, GO, GO.
WELL, I'VE NEVER...
Bodi: MR. KYLE,
PLEASE SETTLE IN.
I WILL, BUT IF EVERYBODY
COULD JUST MOVE DOWN,
THEN I COULD GET
A LITTLE SPACE GOING
THAT WILL HELP ME
BE NEAR THE WOMAN I LOVE.
THERE IT IS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
BUILDING A COUCH?
GET OFF ME, MICHAEL.
PILLOW TALK, BABY.
Bodi:
BEFORE WE BEGIN,
YOU'RE ASKED TO TAKE
FIVE VOWS...
NO SEX, NO STEALING,
NO KILLING
OF ANY LIVING CREATURES,
MAINTAIN PERFECT SILENCE
UNLESS SPOKEN TO BY ME,
AND ONLY EAT
ONE MEAL A DAY.
ONE MEAL A DAY?!
HOW AM I GONNA SURVIVE
OFF ONE MEAL?
BABY, YOU KNOW
I'M HYPERMETABOLISTIC.
SHUT UP!
EXCUSE ME, BONY.
YES, MR. KYLE?
ARE WE
GONNA HAVE SNACKS?
NO SNACKS.
GOOD THING I HID THAT BEEF JERKY
UNDERNEATH THE COUCH.
I REMOVED THOSE ITEMS.
WE DON'T ALLOW FOOD
IN THE RESIDENTIAL QUARTERS.
THEN YOU KNOW
YOU BROKE A VOW.
THAT'S A VOW
THAT HE JUST BROKE.
HE SAID, "NO STEALING."
♪ WHEN THE VOW BREAKS,
SILENCE DOES FALL ♪
♪ AND DOWN
WILL COME BEEF JERKY... ♪
I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU
IF YOU DON'T STOP IT.
AT THE SOUND OF THE BELL,
SILENCE WILL COMMENCE.
WAIT!
WHAT NOW, MR. KYLE?
THERE'S SOMETHING
I NEED TO SAY.
WHAT'S THAT?
[ SCATTING ]
SKIDDLY RINKY DEE.
SKIDDLY RINKY
DINKY DINK,
I THINK I GOT TO PEE.
JUST TO ADD SOME LEVITY
TO THE LEVITATION.
[ LAUGHS ]
YOU CAN RING THE BELL.
[ GONG SOUNDS ]
[ KNOCKING ]
CAN I HELP YOU?!
[ IMITATES SNORING ]
MR. KYLE, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE OUT OF YOUR QUARTERS,
AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY
NO CONTACT BETWEEN...
MR. KYLE...
ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT
BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN.
ARE YOU SLEEPWALKING?
MM-HMM.
GOOD, GOOD.
THEN I SUGGEST YOU SLEEPWALK
BACK TO YOUR QUARTERS.
[ SNORING CONTINUES ]
NO, MR. KYLE,
THAT WAY, THAT WAY.
MR. KYLE, THAT WAY.
THROUGH THERE.
NO. PLEASE.
[ Thinking ]
HURRY UP ALREADY.
YOU GUYS ARE KILLING ME.
AM I THE ONLY HUNGRY PERSON
HERE?
THERE'S NOT GONNA BE
ANY FOOD LEFT
BY THE TIME I GET UP THERE.
[ COIN CLATTERS ]
THIS NO-TALKING THING IS GREAT.
I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT,
AND HE CAN'T SAY A WORD.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, FATTY...
CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE,
OR DID YOU EAT THAT, TOO?
I GOT TO REMEMBER
TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD SOMETIME.
WHAT IS THIS CRAP?
EW!
TOFU SCRAMBLE.
I'D RATHER STARVE TO DEATH
THAN EAT THAT STUFF.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I AM STARVING TO DEATH.
WE ONLY GET ONE MEAL A DAY.
I BETTER MAKE THIS COUNT.
[ FLY BUZZING ]
[ ALL GASP ]
WHAT?
WHAT?
YOU VOWED NOT TO KILL
ANY LIVING CREATURE!
MURDERER!
KILLER!
HOW COULD YOU?
THAT POOR, INNOCENT FLY.
THAT'S... STRIKE... TWO.
Psst! Psst!
Psst!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Psst! Psst!
PSST!
PSST! PSST!
PSST! PSST!
[ CLUCKS ]
PSST! PSST!
OW!
IF ONLY I HAD
JUST ONE MORE PILLOW.
IF I PULL IT OUT
FAST ENOUGH,
IT WILL BE
LIKE A MAGICIAN'S TRICK.
SHE WON'T EVEN MISS IT.
MICHAEL, WHAT THE HELL
IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
YOU HAVE BEEN
FOR THE LAST 2 DAYS
FUSSING AND FIDGETING
AND KILLING FLIES
AND JUST BEING
A GENERAL PAIN IN THE ASS!
IS THAT WHY YOU CAME...
TO DRIVE ME CRAZY, HUH?
DON'T JUST SIT THERE WITH
THAT STUPID LOOK ON YOUR FACE!
WHAT DO YOU HAVE
TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!
YOU TALKED.
[ GASPS ]
OHH!
OH, MY GOD!
YOU MADE ME!
HE MADE ME!
THAT'S IT!
STRIKE THREE, MR. KYLE.
I AM AFRAID I'M GONNA HAVE TO
ASK YOU BOTH TO LEAVE!
NO!
FINE.
WE DON'T CARE.
WE KNOW
WHEN WE'RE NOT WANTED, ANYWAY.
DON'T LEAVE!
I'LL PUT SOME 3-DAY-OLD SOCK
IN YOUR FACE.
GET OFF MY WIFE.
COME ON.
BABY...
HEY, MAN, YOU WANT SOME
3-DAY-OLD SOCK?
MICHAEL?!
WHAT?
YOU RUINED THIS FOR ME!
ARE YOU HAPPY?!
I DIDN'T WANT TO COME HERE
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
WHAT?!
YOU PRACTICALLY BEGGED ME
TO COME HERE!
FOLKS, TAKE IT OUTSIDE!
[ MUTTERING ]
UH, BODI, YOU THINK
I CAN HAVE MY MAGAZINE BACK?
THAT'S IT!
[ MUTTERING ]
YOU MAIL IT TO ME.
MAIL IT TO ME.
STILL WITH
THE SILENT TREATMENT?
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?
I DIDN'T EXPECT IT
TO LAST THIS LONG.
IT'S BEEN OVER A WEEK
SINCE WE'VE BEEN BACK.
YOU MISLED ME.
YOU DECEIVED ME.
YOU TOLD ME YOU WANTED
TO COME WITH ME
BECAUSE YOU MISS ME
SO MUCH,
WHEN YOU REALLY WANTED TO
STAY HOME AND PLAY WITH YOUR TOYS.
I APOLOGIZED FOR THAT.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
"BABY, I'M SORRY.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME.
"I APOLOGIZE
FOR SPOILING YOUR RETREAT.
I'M A BAD BOY."
BLAH, BLAH,
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!
THERE'S NO REASON
TO SHOUT.
I'M NOT SHOUTING!
I JUST WANT
A SINCERE APOLOGY.
OKAY, LET ME TALK TO YOU
IN A WAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND.
[ SIGHS ]
JANET MARIE KYLE,
I WAS STUPID, I WAS SELFISH,
I WAS WRONG,
AND I BEG
FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
WHICH PART?
AFTER MY NAME.
I WAS STUPID.
I THOUGHT
THAT'S WHAT YOU THOUGHT.
YOU SEE HOW WELL
WE COMMUNICATE, HUH,
WHEN WE DON'T TALK?
I THINK THAT LITTLE WEEKEND
WAS GOOD FOR US.
MAYBE.
BABY, LET'S JUST
PUT THIS BEHIND US, OKAY?
I CAN'T STAND IT
WHEN YOU'RE MAD AT ME.
OKAY, OKAY.
I'M NOT FORGIVING YOU,
BUT I THINK
YOU SERVED YOUR TIME.
YOU'RE ON PAROLE
FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
CAN I GET
ONE OF THOSE CONJUGAL VISITS?
YES.
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ SMOOCHING ]
Junior:
♪ B-I-N-G-U ♪
♪ B-I-N-G-U ♪
♪ B-I-N-G-U ♪
♪ AND MALCOLM WAS HIS NAME-U ♪
DID HE...
I DIDN'T...
I DON'T WANT TO BE
IN THERE WITH HIM.
HA HA HA!
THAT'S RIGHT.
8:00 TEE TIME, JIMMY.
THEN WE'LL EAT BURGERS,
DRINK BEER,
PLAY ANOTHER 18 HOLES,
WHICH WILL BRING US
UP TO 44... 50...
HA HA HA!
HA HA!
OH, JIMMY, YOU'RE CRAZY.
LOOK, MAN, BE THERE.
8:00... TEE TIME, ALL RIGHT?
WE'RE GONNA PLAY 15...
AH, HA HA!
HEY, SEXY.
SHH, MICHAEL.
WHAT? YOU DON'T HAVE TO
PRAY NO MORE.
THE ANSWER IS HERE.
SHH!
I GOT TO BE QUIET
BECAUSE JAY'S MEDITATING.
CAN YOU DO IT LIKE THIS?
MICHAEL, CAN'T YOU SEE
THIS IS IMPORTANT?
SORRY.
THANK YOU.
STOP IT!!
HOW'D YOU SEE THAT?
MY EYES ARE CLOSED,
BUT MY SENSES ARE OPEN.
THAT'S NOT THE ONLY THING
I SEE OPEN.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
YOU SURE LIKE
THIS MEDITATING THING.
BABY,
IT'S SO GOOD FOR ME.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT?
NOTHING.
I CLEAR MY THOUGHTS.
MY MIND
IS COMPLETELY BLANK.
SO, JUNIOR HAS BEEN MEDITATING
THESE PAST 20 YEARS.
I THOUGHT HE WAS STUPID.
HE'S ACTUALLY THE "DUMMY LAMA."
YOU KNOW,
YOU REALLY SHOULD TRY IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I REALLY WOULD LOVE TO.
IT'S CHANGED MY LIFE,
AND YOU KNOW THIS WEEKEND
IS THE NEXT BIG STEP, RIGHT?
I WISH
I COULD GO WITH YOU
ON THAT SILENT
MEDITATION RETREAT.
TOO BAD
IT'S ALL BOOKED UP.
OH, FUDGE!
OH, MICHAEL.
BABY, I'M GONNA MISS YOU
SO MUCH.
OH, BABY.
[ SMOOCHES ]
I'M GONNA MISS YOU, TOO.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, JAY.
I'M GONNA BE WALKING AROUND HERE
LIKE A ZOMBIE,
CRYING MY EYES OUT
FOR 3 WHOLE DAYS
TILL YOU...
MICHAEL, STOP.
...TILL YOU COME BACK
TO ME.
OH, BABY,
YOU ARE SO SWEET.
YEAH!
♪ THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY
OF MY LIFE ♪
♪ THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY
OF MY LIFE ♪
HOW COME?
BECAUSE YOUR MOTHER
IS GOING AWAY FOR 3 WHOLE DAYS,
AND I GET A CHANCE
TO DO WHATEVER I WANT.
AND THE BEST PART IS,
I'VE GOT HER CONVINCED
THAT I'M ACTUALLY
GONNA MISS HER.
AHH, HA HA!
MAMA DUMB.
HA HA HA!
HEY. HEY.
MNH-MNH, MNH-MNH.
SO,
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
I'M GONNA DO
WHATEVER I WANT TO DO.
I'M GONNA PLAY
VIDEO GAMES.
I'M GONNA WATCH
THE FOOTBALL GAME.
I'M GONNA EAT POTATO CHIPS,
DRINK BEER,
TRY TO CRACK THAT CODE YOUR
MOTHER PUT ON THE TELEVISION.
68629.
MNH-MNH.
MNH-MNH.
68629?
68629, YEAH.
WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA BE DOING?
VANESSA GAVE ME A LIST.
I'M GONNA CLEAN THE BREAST PUMP,
GO SHOPPING FOR CURTAINS.
LATER ON, SHE'S GONNA TEACH ME
HOW TO MACRAME.
BOY, SHE'S GONNA HAVE YOU
PAYING FOR THAT
30 SECONDS OF PLEASURE
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
UNH-UNH.
27 1/2.
HA!
CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK!
NO, YOU'RE A CHIP OFF
THE MILKMAN'S BLOCK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HEY, JUST THE BRATS
I WANTED TO SEE.
LET'S GO OVER THE PLANS
FOR THE WEEKEND, OKAY?
NONE OF YOU
ARE ALLOWED TO TALK TO ME
UNLESS YOU ARE
ACTUALLY IN FLAMES.
THAT'S FINE WITH ME.
ME TOO.
SO,
WHAT KIND OF WEEKEND
ARE YOU PLANNING FOR YOURSELF,
MR. KYLE?
IT'S GONNA BE ACTION-PACKED
WITH A LOT OF KID... STUFF...
STUFF YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND
THAT YOU OUGHT TO TRY.
LET ME GUESS...
MINDLESS ENTERTAINMENT,
BAD EATING HABITS,
AND A TOTAL LACK
OF PERSONAL HYGIENE?
EXACTLY. THAT SOUNDS
LIKE YOU, JUNIOR.
YEAH, AND THIS
SOUNDS LIKE YOU... PBHT!
AND THIS SOUNDS LIKE YOU...
PBHT!
YOU BOTH SOUND LIKE ME
THIS WEEKEND
SITTING ON THAT COUCH.
AND NOBODY
IS TO DISTURB ME
BECAUSE THIS IS
MICHAEL KYLE'S...
WEEKEND.
[ LAUGHING ]
OH!
THAT'S RIGHT, JIMMY.
THAT'S RIGHT...
8:00 TEE TIME.
WE'RE GONNA EAT SOME BURGERS,
DRINK SOME BEER,
THEN PLAY ANOTHER 18 HOLES,
WHICH WILL BRING US UP
TO A GRAND TOTAL OF 54 HOLES.
THAT'S RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA SEE YOU THERE...
MON FRèRE.
DON'T BE SQUARE.
ALL RIGHT.
LATER.
MICHAEL, I HAVE GREAT NEWS! YES!
ONE OF THE MEDITATORS
DROPPED OUT AT THE LAST MINUTE!
NO!
YES!
THEY WERE TRYING TO GIVE
THE SPOT TO SOMEBODY ELSE,
SO I CALLED THEM UP.
I SAID, "MY HUSBAND SAID
HE WILL BE CRYING HIS EYES OUT
IF HE CAN'T GO."
NO, YOU DIDN'T.
YES, I DID.
YES, I DID.
AND GET THIS...
THEY CALLED ME BACK SAYING,
"OH, THE MAN MADE A MISTAKE.
HE WANTS HIS SPOT BACK."
BUT I SAID,
"OH, NO, NO, NO.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO."
THAT MANY NOES?
YES.
AND WHAT DID THEY SAY?
BABY, WAIT.
I TOLD THEM THAT YOU WILL BE
WALKING AROUND LIKE A ZOMBIE
IF YOU CAN'T GO.
BUT I'M FINE WITH IT.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO.
I COULD LIVE WITH
BEING A ZOMBIE.
NO, I DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO GO THROUGH THAT.
WHAT DID THEY SAY?
THEY SAID NO.
THEY SAID NO?
PSYCH... THEY SAID YES!
AHH, HA HA HA!
THEY SAID YES!
YOU ARE GOING!
YOU'RE GOING, BOY!
WHOO!
ISN'T THAT GREAT?
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
I CAN'T GO.
WHY NOT?
OH, FUDGE, FIDDLESTICKS...
THE KIDS.
WHO'S GONNA
WATCH THE KIDS?
THE KIDS ARE GROWN.
NOT KADY.
SHE'S STILL LITTLE.
I GOT TO PUT HER TO SLEEP.
THAT BABY IS GONNA HELP
THE OTHER BABY.
SHE'S HELPING OUT VANESSA
ALL WEEKEND LONG.
BUT I DON'T HAVE
A MEDITATION CUSHION.
OH, SEE, NOW,
I WAS GONNA GIVE YOU MINE
SINCE I ALREADY
BROKE IT IN WITH ALL OF THIS.
ALL OF THIS, MICHAEL!
YOU FIGURED
EVERYTHING OUT.
I SURE DID!
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.
YOU COULD SAY
THANK YOU.
THANK... AH-CHOO!
OOH!
AH-CHOO!
YOU SPIT ON ME!
AH-CHOO!
MICHAEL,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I'M STARTING
TO FEEL SICK.
NO, REALLY?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
AH, AH...
CHOO!
THIS IS BAD.
DO I GOT A FEVER?
NO,
I DON'T FEEL NOTHING.
WAIT.
DO I GOT A FEVER?
BUT IF YOU'RE
CATCHING SOMETHING,
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT,
BECAUSE THEY
KEEP THOSE ROOMS
NICE AND TOASTY
AT 117 DEGREES.
YOU'LL SWEAT THAT COLD
RIGHT ON OUT!
SO, COME ON... GET READY.
WE ONLY GOT AN HOUR.
[ CRYING ]
HI, I'M...
JAY KYLE, I KNOW!
WELCOME TO
INNER LIGHT MOUNTAIN RETREAT!
I'LL NEED YOU
TO FILL OUT THESE FORMS!
YOU ARE GONNA BE SO HAPPY
YOU ARE DOING THIS!
IT HAS HELPED ME SO MUCH!
I USED TO BE SO HYPER!
I HAD
THIS WEIRD NERVOUS ENERGY
UNTIL I STARTED DOING
THESE MEDITATION RETREATS!
I USED TO MAKE PEOPLE
SO INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
NOW I'M SO CALM AND PEACEFUL,
MY FRIENDS HARDLY RECOGNIZE ME.
NONE OF THEM RECOGNIZE ME...
THEY DON'T RECOGNIZE ME AT ALL.
IT'S LIKE, "WHO ARE YOU?"
YOU GET IT?
YEAH, I GET IT.
I GET IT.
WHEN I FIND A PERSON LIKE YOU
WITH ENERGY LIKE YOURS,
I LIKE TO ATTACH MYSELF
TO THEM
LIKE A BARNACLE
TO THE HULL OF A SHIP,
LIKE A TICK TO A FAT DOG.
WE'RE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS,
LIKE THELMA AND LOUISE.
HA HA!
GREAT!
I FEEL LIKE DRIVING
OFF OF A CLIFF RIGHT NOW.
S-SHE'S FUNNY!
SHE'S FUNNY!
ISN'T SHE, PEOPLE?!
SHE'S FUNNY... FUNNY!
OH, MY GOODNESS.
HEY, BABE, I NEED YOU TO HELP ME
FILL OUT THESE FORMS.
OKAY, SURE.
[ GRUNTS ]
I DIDN'T REALIZE
YOU BROUGHT SO MUCH STUFF.
WHAT'S IN THERE?
JUST THE ESSENTIALS...
GOT MY VIDEO GAMES,
GOT MY MUSIC,
MY TV
SO I CAN WATCH FOOTBALL,
SOME MINTS...
'CAUSE 3 DAYS
WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED,
YOU GET A LITTLE TART.
MNH-MNH. NO.
MICHAEL, YOU CAN'T HAVE
ALL THAT STUFF.
THE PURPOSE OF THIS JOURNEY
IS TO MEDITATE
AND GET IN TOUCH WITH SELF.
THAT KILLS A LITTLE TIME,
BUT I CAN'T DO IT FOR 3 DAYS.
I'LL BE CHAFED.
WELCOME!
I'M BODI.
I'LL BE
YOUR RETREAT MANAGER.
HEY, WHAT'S UP, BOOTY?
NICE TO MEET YOU.
IT'S BODI.
BOOTY.
BODI.
BODI.
YES.
LIKE BOOTY.
B-BEAUTIFUL, YES.
LIKE B-BODI.
WE'LL HAVE ORIENTATION
IN THE MEDITATION HALL
IN 30 MINUTES.
BUT FIRST, I'LL TAKE YOU
TO YOUR QUARTERS.
OUR QUARTERS.
LET ME HELP YOU WITH
YOUR BAGS. OH, NO!
OH!
WHAT KIND OF...
I'M AFRAID WE DON'T ALLOW
READING MATERIALS HERE.
YOU DON'T READ THIS.
THESE... THESE...
THEY'RE VISUAL.
THEY'RE VISUAL AIDS.
STEP BACK. STEP BACK.
I'LL GO AHEAD
AND DISPOSE OF THIS.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO
DISPOSE OF IT MYSELF FOR YEARS.
I DON'T KNOW
HOW THAT GOT IN THERE, BABY.
JUNIOR
MUST HAVE PACKED MY BAG.
HERE WE GO.
WOW, I SEE
WHY YOU SAID "QUARTER."
IT'S ABOUT A QUARTER OF THE SIZE
I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE.
HA HA... "QUARTER."
WE'LL ALL BE...
ANYHOO, I THINK
WE CAN MAKE IT WORK.
WE'RE LOVERS,
HUH, BABY?
SURE.
I'M FINE WITH IT.
OH, NO.
WE SEPARATE MEN AND WOMEN HERE.
MRS. KYLE WILL BE STAYING
ACROSS THE WAY IN BUNGALOW 3.
OH, I WILL?
WAIT A SECOND.
WE'RE NOT STAYING TOGETHER,
JACK?
I'M AFRAID NOT,
AND IT'S BODI.
YOU CAN'T SEPARATE
A HUSBAND FROM A WIFE.
EVEN IN PRISON
THEY GIVE YOU CONJUGAL VISITS.
I'M SORRY.
RULES ARE RULES.
MICHAEL, IT'S OKAY.
I CAN SEE MY BUNGALOW FROM HERE.
IT'S FINE.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING
TO WORK OUT
THE SLEEPING ARRANGEMENT.
LOOK AT THAT BOOTY, BODI.
IT'S NICE, BUT NO.
COME ON, MAN, WE'RE GUYS.
I'M A GUY.
YOU'RE A GUY.
AHH!
[ LAUGHS ]
NO.
I DIDN'T MAKE THIS.
THERE'S NOTHING I CAN SAY
TO CHANGE YOUR MIND?
WHOOPSIE.
LOOKY THERE.
A RICH BIRD MUST HAVE
DROPPED OFF SOMETHING
IN THE NEST.
HEY,
A $100 DONATION, HUH?
YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN.
HEY, LOOK...
TWEET, TWEET, TWEET.
THE BIRD CAME BACK.
HE JUST...
THANK YOU.
THAT'S VERY NICE.
BUT YOU STILL
CAN'T SLEEP WITH YOUR WIFE.
HOW MUCH MONEY
IS IT GONNA COST ME
TO SLEEP WITH MY WIFE?
THAT'S BETWEEN
YOU AND YOUR WIFE.
AHH!
I'M GONNA NEED
MY MAGAZINE BACK,
'CAUSE I NEED CERTAIN IMAGES
BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP.
WELCOME TO OUR 3-DAY
SILENT MEDITATION RETREAT.
HOLD ON!
HOLD UP.
SORRY I'M LATE.
I HAD TO GATHER
A LITTLE EXTRA SITTING GEAR,
'CAUSE I GOT
A LOWER-BACK PROBLEM.
EXCUSE ME.
THIS SPACE IS ALREADY TAKEN
WITH OUR INTERTWINED AURAS.
BUT I WANT TO SIT
NEAR MY WIFE.
I'M SURE YOUR AURA
WILL UNDERSTAND.
MICHAEL,
YOU'RE BEING DISRUPTIVE.
GO FIND AN EMPTY SPOT.
GO, GO, GO.
WELL, I'VE NEVER...
Bodi: MR. KYLE,
PLEASE SETTLE IN.
I WILL, BUT IF EVERYBODY
COULD JUST MOVE DOWN,
THEN I COULD GET
A LITTLE SPACE GOING
THAT WILL HELP ME
BE NEAR THE WOMAN I LOVE.
THERE IT IS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
BUILDING A COUCH?
GET OFF ME, MICHAEL.
PILLOW TALK, BABY.
Bodi:
BEFORE WE BEGIN,
YOU'RE ASKED TO TAKE
FIVE VOWS...
NO SEX, NO STEALING,
NO KILLING
OF ANY LIVING CREATURES,
MAINTAIN PERFECT SILENCE
UNLESS SPOKEN TO BY ME,
AND ONLY EAT
ONE MEAL A DAY.
ONE MEAL A DAY?!
HOW AM I GONNA SURVIVE
OFF ONE MEAL?
BABY, YOU KNOW
I'M HYPERMETABOLISTIC.
SHUT UP!
EXCUSE ME, BONY.
YES, MR. KYLE?
ARE WE
GONNA HAVE SNACKS?
NO SNACKS.
GOOD THING I HID THAT BEEF JERKY
UNDERNEATH THE COUCH.
I REMOVED THOSE ITEMS.
WE DON'T ALLOW FOOD
IN THE RESIDENTIAL QUARTERS.
THEN YOU KNOW
YOU BROKE A VOW.
THAT'S A VOW
THAT HE JUST BROKE.
HE SAID, "NO STEALING."
♪ WHEN THE VOW BREAKS,
SILENCE DOES FALL ♪
♪ AND DOWN
WILL COME BEEF JERKY... ♪
I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU
IF YOU DON'T STOP IT.
AT THE SOUND OF THE BELL,
SILENCE WILL COMMENCE.
WAIT!
WHAT NOW, MR. KYLE?
THERE'S SOMETHING
I NEED TO SAY.
WHAT'S THAT?
[ SCATTING ]
SKIDDLY RINKY DEE.
SKIDDLY RINKY
DINKY DINK,
I THINK I GOT TO PEE.
JUST TO ADD SOME LEVITY
TO THE LEVITATION.
[ LAUGHS ]
YOU CAN RING THE BELL.
[ GONG SOUNDS ]
[ KNOCKING ]
CAN I HELP YOU?!
[ IMITATES SNORING ]
MR. KYLE, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE OUT OF YOUR QUARTERS,
AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY
NO CONTACT BETWEEN...
MR. KYLE...
ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT
BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN.
ARE YOU SLEEPWALKING?
MM-HMM.
GOOD, GOOD.
THEN I SUGGEST YOU SLEEPWALK
BACK TO YOUR QUARTERS.
[ SNORING CONTINUES ]
NO, MR. KYLE,
THAT WAY, THAT WAY.
MR. KYLE, THAT WAY.
THROUGH THERE.
NO. PLEASE.
[ Thinking ]
HURRY UP ALREADY.
YOU GUYS ARE KILLING ME.
AM I THE ONLY HUNGRY PERSON
HERE?
THERE'S NOT GONNA BE
ANY FOOD LEFT
BY THE TIME I GET UP THERE.
[ COIN CLATTERS ]
THIS NO-TALKING THING IS GREAT.
I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT,
AND HE CAN'T SAY A WORD.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, FATTY...
CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE,
OR DID YOU EAT THAT, TOO?
I GOT TO REMEMBER
TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD SOMETIME.
WHAT IS THIS CRAP?
EW!
TOFU SCRAMBLE.
I'D RATHER STARVE TO DEATH
THAN EAT THAT STUFF.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I AM STARVING TO DEATH.
WE ONLY GET ONE MEAL A DAY.
I BETTER MAKE THIS COUNT.
[ FLY BUZZING ]
[ ALL GASP ]
WHAT?
WHAT?
YOU VOWED NOT TO KILL
ANY LIVING CREATURE!
MURDERER!
KILLER!
HOW COULD YOU?
THAT POOR, INNOCENT FLY.
THAT'S... STRIKE... TWO.
Psst! Psst!
Psst!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Psst! Psst!
PSST!
PSST! PSST!
PSST! PSST!
[ CLUCKS ]
PSST! PSST!
OW!
IF ONLY I HAD
JUST ONE MORE PILLOW.
IF I PULL IT OUT
FAST ENOUGH,
IT WILL BE
LIKE A MAGICIAN'S TRICK.
SHE WON'T EVEN MISS IT.
MICHAEL, WHAT THE HELL
IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
YOU HAVE BEEN
FOR THE LAST 2 DAYS
FUSSING AND FIDGETING
AND KILLING FLIES
AND JUST BEING
A GENERAL PAIN IN THE ASS!
IS THAT WHY YOU CAME...
TO DRIVE ME CRAZY, HUH?
DON'T JUST SIT THERE WITH
THAT STUPID LOOK ON YOUR FACE!
WHAT DO YOU HAVE
TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!
YOU TALKED.
[ GASPS ]
OHH!
OH, MY GOD!
YOU MADE ME!
HE MADE ME!
THAT'S IT!
STRIKE THREE, MR. KYLE.
I AM AFRAID I'M GONNA HAVE TO
ASK YOU BOTH TO LEAVE!
NO!
FINE.
WE DON'T CARE.
WE KNOW
WHEN WE'RE NOT WANTED, ANYWAY.
DON'T LEAVE!
I'LL PUT SOME 3-DAY-OLD SOCK
IN YOUR FACE.
GET OFF MY WIFE.
COME ON.
BABY...
HEY, MAN, YOU WANT SOME
3-DAY-OLD SOCK?
MICHAEL?!
WHAT?
YOU RUINED THIS FOR ME!
ARE YOU HAPPY?!
I DIDN'T WANT TO COME HERE
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
WHAT?!
YOU PRACTICALLY BEGGED ME
TO COME HERE!
FOLKS, TAKE IT OUTSIDE!
[ MUTTERING ]
UH, BODI, YOU THINK
I CAN HAVE MY MAGAZINE BACK?
THAT'S IT!
[ MUTTERING ]
YOU MAIL IT TO ME.
MAIL IT TO ME.
STILL WITH
THE SILENT TREATMENT?
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?
I DIDN'T EXPECT IT
TO LAST THIS LONG.
IT'S BEEN OVER A WEEK
SINCE WE'VE BEEN BACK.
YOU MISLED ME.
YOU DECEIVED ME.
YOU TOLD ME YOU WANTED
TO COME WITH ME
BECAUSE YOU MISS ME
SO MUCH,
WHEN YOU REALLY WANTED TO
STAY HOME AND PLAY WITH YOUR TOYS.
I APOLOGIZED FOR THAT.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
"BABY, I'M SORRY.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME.
"I APOLOGIZE
FOR SPOILING YOUR RETREAT.
I'M A BAD BOY."
BLAH, BLAH,
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!
THERE'S NO REASON
TO SHOUT.
I'M NOT SHOUTING!
I JUST WANT
A SINCERE APOLOGY.
OKAY, LET ME TALK TO YOU
IN A WAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND.
[ SIGHS ]
JANET MARIE KYLE,
I WAS STUPID, I WAS SELFISH,
I WAS WRONG,
AND I BEG
FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
WHICH PART?
AFTER MY NAME.
I WAS STUPID.
I THOUGHT
THAT'S WHAT YOU THOUGHT.
YOU SEE HOW WELL
WE COMMUNICATE, HUH,
WHEN WE DON'T TALK?
I THINK THAT LITTLE WEEKEND
WAS GOOD FOR US.
MAYBE.
BABY, LET'S JUST
PUT THIS BEHIND US, OKAY?
I CAN'T STAND IT
WHEN YOU'RE MAD AT ME.
OKAY, OKAY.
I'M NOT FORGIVING YOU,
BUT I THINK
YOU SERVED YOUR TIME.
YOU'RE ON PAROLE
FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
CAN I GET
ONE OF THOSE CONJUGAL VISITS?
YES.
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ SMOOCHING ]
Junior:
♪ B-I-N-G-U ♪
♪ B-I-N-G-U ♪
♪ B-I-N-G-U ♪
♪ AND MALCOLM WAS HIS NAME-U ♪
DID HE...
I DIDN'T...
I DON'T WANT TO BE
IN THERE WITH HIM.
HA HA HA!
THAT'S RIGHT.
8:00 TEE TIME, JIMMY.
THEN WE'LL EAT BURGERS,
DRINK BEER,
PLAY ANOTHER 18 HOLES,
WHICH WILL BRING US
UP TO 44... 50...
HA HA HA!
HA HA!
OH, JIMMY, YOU'RE CRAZY.
LOOK, MAN, BE THERE.
8:00... TEE TIME, ALL RIGHT?
WE'RE GONNA PLAY 15...
AH, HA HA!