My Dad the Rock Star (2003–2004): Season 2, Episode 6 - Rock Bottom - full transcript
It's Rock's birthday -- and no one needs to know he's another year older but him. Then again, that would mean missing out on Willy's birthday present -- Rock's favorite old pair of leather chaps, restored, refurbished and ready to go! Awoooo! Nothing makes you feel younger than leather chaps! Until RIPP! they're sitting in two halves around your backside. Feeling overweight and over the hill, soon Rock's drinking prune juice and playing bingo from his recliner. Feeling responsible for his dad's slump, Willy decides a little Rock(y) style training should do the trick. Meanwhile, with Rock and Skunk busy playing shuffleboard, Serenity finds herself behind the wheel of a car, driving herself to the emergency room of the nail salon after a manicure mishap. Parking her car in the first available spot (the lawn of the police station) with a glove compartment full of unpaid parking tickets, Serenity lands herself in the slammer instead of the salon -- and ends up serving community service at a senior's home, with Rock Zilla as her newest patient!
♪ It’s so hard ♪
♪ Just to feel normal
♪ When everyone is completely
paranormal ♪
♪ And everything is totally
deranged ♪
♪ And you’re the only one who’s
sane ♪
♪ Sometimes it gets
so unbearable ♪
♪ But mostly I feel
unbelievable ♪
♪ And I’m a freak ’cause my dad
is a rock star ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ My dad is a rock star
♪ That’s it, the party’s over ♪
♪ Turn off the lights, I’m
leaving the stage ♪
♪ I just wanna get
a little more control ♪
♪ So nobody can tell me what to
do ♪
♪ Sometimes it gets
so unbearable ♪
♪ But mostly I feel
unbelievable ♪
♪ And I’m a freak, ’cause my dad
is a rock star ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ My dad is a rock star
♪ Yeah, yeah
♪
Ah-woo!
You looking at me?
You looking at me??
You looking at me?!
Of course you're looking at me!
(Laughing)
(Sighing)
Another year older.
Oh well, no one needs to know
but me.
(Humming)
ALL: Happy Birthday!
Who, who, me?
You must have me confused with
somebody else.
It's not my birthday.
Hmm, seems to me your dear,
old dad is in denial.
Dear, old, dad?
Do you have to rub it in?
Don't worry sweetie, you've
still got it.
Just like you did in the good,
old days.
Eww, again with the O word.
Don't worry, Dad.
I think I've got just the thing
to chase your blues away.
What's this?
I told you, it's not my
birthday.
Oh...
Oh...
(Screaming)
Give me, give me, give me, give
me!
(Tearing, ripping, laughing)
My very first and favourite pair
of studded, leather chaps!
Restored, refurbished, and ready
to go!
This is awesome!
Nothing makes you feel younger,
or more alive, then a pair of
black leather chaps.
I found them in the attic.
I thought they might bring back
some happy memories.
(Screaming)
Give me, give me, give me, give
me!
(Groaning)
Yes!!!
(Laughing)
Looks like you've blown a
seal, mate.
Don't worry, Dad.
We can patch them up.
Right, I think I've got some
duct tape here somewhere.
That ought to do the trick.
It's not just that.
It's time I face the facts.
I'm not a teenager anymore.
I am a teenager, Daddy.
Yes you are, princess.
Thanks for pointing that out.
Willy, my man, you've been
telling me to act my age for
years and it's time I did.
And there's no better day to
start than on my birthday, so
say goodbye to the old Rock, or
hello to the new old Rock, or
some old Rock rolling away,
gathering moss.
That's nice, Daddy, you have
fun!
So I said to him, “Do I look
like the type of girl”--
(Beeping)
Oh, hang on, I've got another
call.
(Cracking)
(Screaming)
Skunk, I need you to drive me to
the nail salon right away.
Of course, we'll leave right
this instant.
No way, you can't leave when
I'm still down two games to one.
If you've got a dad as old as
me, then you're old enough to
drive yourself to the salon.
But I can't drive anywhere
with a broken nail.
I'm sorry, princess, but I've
made up my mind.
Old people can be very
inflexible.
I can't believe I ruined
Dad's birthday and his
self-esteem with one gift.
It's not your fault, Willy.
Nobody blames you.
Argh, this is all your fault!
Dad.
Huh?
Who's there?
It's just me, Dad.
Oh, hey there, sonny.
Why don't you come sit down with
your old Pops?
And bring me some prune juice
while you're at it.
(Groaning)
What's that you say?
Time for my medication?
(Sighing)
(Honking)
When will people learn that
honking doesn't make traffic
move any faster?
Please, I get more privacy in a
public washroom.
I hope I don't have another
accident with this nail.
This should prevent another
accident from happening.
Bingo!
How many times do I have to
tell you?
You have to fill in all the
spaces in a line before shouting
out the B word.
But I like shouting the B
word.
Come on, Dad.
Why don't we go practice some
new moves for your next video?
But I like shouting the B
word.
Wow, talk about a perfect
spot!
(Coughing)
Is there a problem, officer?
(Chuckling)
Okay, okay, I get it.
License and registration.
I keep getting these yellow
flyers every time I park my car.
They're driving me crazy!
(Growling)
Mom, are you still there?
(Screaming)
Ew, that cannot be good for your
karma.
(Coughing, hacking)
Ew, I can so tell what you're in
for.
Talk about a serious fashion
crime!
(Growling)
Dad.
What are you doing?
What does it look like I'm
doing?
I'm feeding the pigeons.
I can still do that, can't I?
Dad, this has got to stop.
Well, tell that to the
pigeons.
No, I mean this has got to
stop with you.
I'm going to whip you back
into Rockzilla shape, if it's
the last thing I do!
But, I thought you always
wanted me to be more mature.
I just want you to be
yourself, Dad, and I'll do
whatever it takes to get you
back.
All right, Willy.
Let's do it.
But then, who will feed the
pigeons?
I will.
(Groaning, coughing)
Good morning, boys!
Mom, it's four in the
morning.
Your sister received a
hundred hours of community
service for all those unpaid
parking tickets.
Oh, poor Serenity.
Poor community.
(Groaning)
(Gulping)
(Laughing)
(Panting)
(Groaning)
(Laughing, cheering)
I cannot believe I am
doing this!
(Screaming)
Oops, my bad.
Well, I've got to have more in
common with children than with
garbage, right?
Okay, maybe not.
Here, let me get rid of that for
you.
(Crying)
She turned her head, her
raven hair cascading behind her
like a river.
Her exquisite beauty tore
through his world like an
avalanche.
It was too much for him to bear.
(Coughing)
It was a challenge, but we
battled hard, and I think my Dad
is back to his old self.
You mean his young self.
Yo, yo, yo, what's up?
We gonna hang, or what?
I'm thinking you did too good
of a job with your dad.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This can't be right.
What's my latest CD and my
entire line of Rockzilla
t-shirts doing on the sales
rack?
This stuff belongs in the best
seller section.
Huh?
No, it can't be!
Hey, hey, hey!
It's not me you should be taking
away, it's him!
He's guilty of negative product
placement.
(Sighing)
I cannot believe they sent me
here to spend time with my
elders.
I might not be good with
children, but what could I
possibly have in common with
boring, old people?
Go fish.
What did ya say?
She's a dish?
Ugh, I'm doomed!
Excuse me, miss.
I walked all the way over here
from the other side of the room
to tell you, I just love your
hair!
You do?
Uh-huh, oh, I wish I had hair
like you.
Oh, but you can!
(Groaning, screaming)
It's one of my songs!
They've turned my music into
whatever that is!
Can't take it anymore!
Make it stop!!
Dad, are you all right?
Yeah, sure, of course, I'm
cool.
Woo-hoo!
Look at me!
Hey Willy, get your grandpa
off the ramp.
Dad, are you okay?
Dad, don't you mean, Grandpa?
Forget it, they don't know
what they are talking about.
That's right, Mr. Z.
Look on the bright side of
things.
Uh, I mean, when life hands you
lemonade, make pie.
What Quincy means is--
When life knocks you down,
you just have to get back up
again!
Oh, I'm getting up all right.
Just long enough for me to get
home and park my butt in my
recliner.
Where it belongs.
As of this moment, I'm
officially retired.
I can't believe you're going
to let all our hard work and
training go to waste, Dad.
Oh, believe it, Willy.
I've had it with trying to be
young and vibrant.
This kind of living agrees with
me.
I'm not going to just sit
here and let you waste away.
Okay, maybe that's not going to
happen but you can't give up,
Dad.
You have to live life!
I am living life, Willy.
I'm just doing it from this
chair and, I'm afraid, that
there's nothing you can do or
say to change that.
There, how's that?
Oh, I just love it!
Now, what can we do with the
rest of me?
Hold still.
Hilda!
You look hot!
(Glass breaking)
Back in the day, I had to walk
through three miles of snow and
sleet to get to school.
That's a lie, Walter, you're
from Florida.
So, what do you guys do
around here?
I'm going to have black beans
for supper!
Nothing, really.
Until you came along, Serenity.
We don't get out much.
Wow, that sucks.
(Sighing)
What's your hurry?
Break another nail?
For your information, I'm
trying to come up with something
really neat to entertain the old
folks at the seniors home.
You are?
I am.
The seniors don't get out much.
So I'm trying to bring some
excitement to their lives.
That's very nice of you,
Serenity.
Thank you.
So, do you have any ideas?
Seniors home, huh?
You know, I think I might.
No way.
Come on, Dad.
I know you can do it.
Get out of the chair.
I said no, Willy.
I'll make you're favourite
dinner sweetie.
Spaghetti and wieners!
No thanks.
I'll take you shopping and
buy you new outfits, and we
could buy me some too while
we're at it.
It's okay.
How about we rig up your
amps, to the doorbell, and order
pizza?
The delivery boy must have his
hearing back by now.
I don't know what you're
talking about.
If you want to be a grumpy,
old curmudgeon for the rest of
your life, Dad, when we might as
well put you in a retirement
home.
Go ahead, put me in a
retirement home.
Well, here we are, Dad.
Say hello to your new home.
Hello.
Right this way, please.
We'll show you around, Daddy,
and then we'll take you to your
new room.
Huh?!
I don't suppose you had anything
to do with this?
BOTH: Us?
No way!
Do you really think that I'd
ever team up with Willy, Daddy?
I guess not.
Huh?
Rockzilla, rockzilla,
rockzilla, rockzilla!
Hello, Silent Spring Seniors
Home!
Are you ready to rock?!
(Cheering, screaming)
♪ Hey, all you fogeys with your
puree mush ♪
♪ You think the shuffleboard
will give you a rush ♪
♪ I know you've got a slight
case of dementia ♪
♪ But are you really gonna let
it prevent ya? ♪
♪ You're only as old as you
feel ♪
♪ Get wild, don't sit and
congeal ♪
♪ You may be decrepit and
slow ♪
♪ But you can still get it up
on your toes ♪
Just be careful, old dudes!
♪ Let's go crazy, let's all get
hyper ♪
♪ There's nothing wrong with
wearing adult diapers ♪
♪ Let burn those canes and throw
those bedpans aside ♪
♪ Let's just make sure that
there's nothing left inside ♪
♪ You're only as old as you
feel ♪
♪ Get wild, don't sit and
congeal ♪
♪ I know that your hearing ain't
good ♪
I said, I know your hearing
ain't good!
Replace the battery on that
thing.
♪ It's not too late to start a
life a new ♪
♪ Just make sure you don't get
the flu ♪
♪ Let's get nuts, old folks,
lead the way ♪
♪ Come on, hurry up, I ain't got
all day ♪
♪ You're only as old as you
feel ♪
♪ Get wild, don't sit and
congeal ♪
♪ You're only as old as you
feel ♪
♪ Get wild, don't sit and
congeal ♪
I heard that!
I just can't believe that a
sweet girl like you could have
such an animal for a father.
You mean, you actually met
new people and didn't tell them
Rockzilla's your dad?
I guess I did.
Serenity, dear.
That was the most excitement
I've had since 1963.
Oh, thank you.
You're the best thing since
sliced bread.
Since before sliced bread.
Since flushed toilets!
Who would have known that
old folks could rock like that?
They sure know how to party!
Thanks for showing them such
a good time, Daddy.
Not at all.
They're lucky to have you,
princess.
I just hope I can still rock
like that when it's time for me
to actually retire.
Does this mean you're back,
Dad?
You betcha.
After watching the seniors live
it up, I can't let my age get me
down!
Rock is back, baby!
Better than ever!
Ah-woo!
♪
♪ Just to feel normal
♪ When everyone is completely
paranormal ♪
♪ And everything is totally
deranged ♪
♪ And you’re the only one who’s
sane ♪
♪ Sometimes it gets
so unbearable ♪
♪ But mostly I feel
unbelievable ♪
♪ And I’m a freak ’cause my dad
is a rock star ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ My dad is a rock star
♪ That’s it, the party’s over ♪
♪ Turn off the lights, I’m
leaving the stage ♪
♪ I just wanna get
a little more control ♪
♪ So nobody can tell me what to
do ♪
♪ Sometimes it gets
so unbearable ♪
♪ But mostly I feel
unbelievable ♪
♪ And I’m a freak, ’cause my dad
is a rock star ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ My dad is a rock star
♪ Yeah, yeah
♪
Ah-woo!
You looking at me?
You looking at me??
You looking at me?!
Of course you're looking at me!
(Laughing)
(Sighing)
Another year older.
Oh well, no one needs to know
but me.
(Humming)
ALL: Happy Birthday!
Who, who, me?
You must have me confused with
somebody else.
It's not my birthday.
Hmm, seems to me your dear,
old dad is in denial.
Dear, old, dad?
Do you have to rub it in?
Don't worry sweetie, you've
still got it.
Just like you did in the good,
old days.
Eww, again with the O word.
Don't worry, Dad.
I think I've got just the thing
to chase your blues away.
What's this?
I told you, it's not my
birthday.
Oh...
Oh...
(Screaming)
Give me, give me, give me, give
me!
(Tearing, ripping, laughing)
My very first and favourite pair
of studded, leather chaps!
Restored, refurbished, and ready
to go!
This is awesome!
Nothing makes you feel younger,
or more alive, then a pair of
black leather chaps.
I found them in the attic.
I thought they might bring back
some happy memories.
(Screaming)
Give me, give me, give me, give
me!
(Groaning)
Yes!!!
(Laughing)
Looks like you've blown a
seal, mate.
Don't worry, Dad.
We can patch them up.
Right, I think I've got some
duct tape here somewhere.
That ought to do the trick.
It's not just that.
It's time I face the facts.
I'm not a teenager anymore.
I am a teenager, Daddy.
Yes you are, princess.
Thanks for pointing that out.
Willy, my man, you've been
telling me to act my age for
years and it's time I did.
And there's no better day to
start than on my birthday, so
say goodbye to the old Rock, or
hello to the new old Rock, or
some old Rock rolling away,
gathering moss.
That's nice, Daddy, you have
fun!
So I said to him, “Do I look
like the type of girl”--
(Beeping)
Oh, hang on, I've got another
call.
(Cracking)
(Screaming)
Skunk, I need you to drive me to
the nail salon right away.
Of course, we'll leave right
this instant.
No way, you can't leave when
I'm still down two games to one.
If you've got a dad as old as
me, then you're old enough to
drive yourself to the salon.
But I can't drive anywhere
with a broken nail.
I'm sorry, princess, but I've
made up my mind.
Old people can be very
inflexible.
I can't believe I ruined
Dad's birthday and his
self-esteem with one gift.
It's not your fault, Willy.
Nobody blames you.
Argh, this is all your fault!
Dad.
Huh?
Who's there?
It's just me, Dad.
Oh, hey there, sonny.
Why don't you come sit down with
your old Pops?
And bring me some prune juice
while you're at it.
(Groaning)
What's that you say?
Time for my medication?
(Sighing)
(Honking)
When will people learn that
honking doesn't make traffic
move any faster?
Please, I get more privacy in a
public washroom.
I hope I don't have another
accident with this nail.
This should prevent another
accident from happening.
Bingo!
How many times do I have to
tell you?
You have to fill in all the
spaces in a line before shouting
out the B word.
But I like shouting the B
word.
Come on, Dad.
Why don't we go practice some
new moves for your next video?
But I like shouting the B
word.
Wow, talk about a perfect
spot!
(Coughing)
Is there a problem, officer?
(Chuckling)
Okay, okay, I get it.
License and registration.
I keep getting these yellow
flyers every time I park my car.
They're driving me crazy!
(Growling)
Mom, are you still there?
(Screaming)
Ew, that cannot be good for your
karma.
(Coughing, hacking)
Ew, I can so tell what you're in
for.
Talk about a serious fashion
crime!
(Growling)
Dad.
What are you doing?
What does it look like I'm
doing?
I'm feeding the pigeons.
I can still do that, can't I?
Dad, this has got to stop.
Well, tell that to the
pigeons.
No, I mean this has got to
stop with you.
I'm going to whip you back
into Rockzilla shape, if it's
the last thing I do!
But, I thought you always
wanted me to be more mature.
I just want you to be
yourself, Dad, and I'll do
whatever it takes to get you
back.
All right, Willy.
Let's do it.
But then, who will feed the
pigeons?
I will.
(Groaning, coughing)
Good morning, boys!
Mom, it's four in the
morning.
Your sister received a
hundred hours of community
service for all those unpaid
parking tickets.
Oh, poor Serenity.
Poor community.
(Groaning)
(Gulping)
(Laughing)
(Panting)
(Groaning)
(Laughing, cheering)
I cannot believe I am
doing this!
(Screaming)
Oops, my bad.
Well, I've got to have more in
common with children than with
garbage, right?
Okay, maybe not.
Here, let me get rid of that for
you.
(Crying)
She turned her head, her
raven hair cascading behind her
like a river.
Her exquisite beauty tore
through his world like an
avalanche.
It was too much for him to bear.
(Coughing)
It was a challenge, but we
battled hard, and I think my Dad
is back to his old self.
You mean his young self.
Yo, yo, yo, what's up?
We gonna hang, or what?
I'm thinking you did too good
of a job with your dad.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This can't be right.
What's my latest CD and my
entire line of Rockzilla
t-shirts doing on the sales
rack?
This stuff belongs in the best
seller section.
Huh?
No, it can't be!
Hey, hey, hey!
It's not me you should be taking
away, it's him!
He's guilty of negative product
placement.
(Sighing)
I cannot believe they sent me
here to spend time with my
elders.
I might not be good with
children, but what could I
possibly have in common with
boring, old people?
Go fish.
What did ya say?
She's a dish?
Ugh, I'm doomed!
Excuse me, miss.
I walked all the way over here
from the other side of the room
to tell you, I just love your
hair!
You do?
Uh-huh, oh, I wish I had hair
like you.
Oh, but you can!
(Groaning, screaming)
It's one of my songs!
They've turned my music into
whatever that is!
Can't take it anymore!
Make it stop!!
Dad, are you all right?
Yeah, sure, of course, I'm
cool.
Woo-hoo!
Look at me!
Hey Willy, get your grandpa
off the ramp.
Dad, are you okay?
Dad, don't you mean, Grandpa?
Forget it, they don't know
what they are talking about.
That's right, Mr. Z.
Look on the bright side of
things.
Uh, I mean, when life hands you
lemonade, make pie.
What Quincy means is--
When life knocks you down,
you just have to get back up
again!
Oh, I'm getting up all right.
Just long enough for me to get
home and park my butt in my
recliner.
Where it belongs.
As of this moment, I'm
officially retired.
I can't believe you're going
to let all our hard work and
training go to waste, Dad.
Oh, believe it, Willy.
I've had it with trying to be
young and vibrant.
This kind of living agrees with
me.
I'm not going to just sit
here and let you waste away.
Okay, maybe that's not going to
happen but you can't give up,
Dad.
You have to live life!
I am living life, Willy.
I'm just doing it from this
chair and, I'm afraid, that
there's nothing you can do or
say to change that.
There, how's that?
Oh, I just love it!
Now, what can we do with the
rest of me?
Hold still.
Hilda!
You look hot!
(Glass breaking)
Back in the day, I had to walk
through three miles of snow and
sleet to get to school.
That's a lie, Walter, you're
from Florida.
So, what do you guys do
around here?
I'm going to have black beans
for supper!
Nothing, really.
Until you came along, Serenity.
We don't get out much.
Wow, that sucks.
(Sighing)
What's your hurry?
Break another nail?
For your information, I'm
trying to come up with something
really neat to entertain the old
folks at the seniors home.
You are?
I am.
The seniors don't get out much.
So I'm trying to bring some
excitement to their lives.
That's very nice of you,
Serenity.
Thank you.
So, do you have any ideas?
Seniors home, huh?
You know, I think I might.
No way.
Come on, Dad.
I know you can do it.
Get out of the chair.
I said no, Willy.
I'll make you're favourite
dinner sweetie.
Spaghetti and wieners!
No thanks.
I'll take you shopping and
buy you new outfits, and we
could buy me some too while
we're at it.
It's okay.
How about we rig up your
amps, to the doorbell, and order
pizza?
The delivery boy must have his
hearing back by now.
I don't know what you're
talking about.
If you want to be a grumpy,
old curmudgeon for the rest of
your life, Dad, when we might as
well put you in a retirement
home.
Go ahead, put me in a
retirement home.
Well, here we are, Dad.
Say hello to your new home.
Hello.
Right this way, please.
We'll show you around, Daddy,
and then we'll take you to your
new room.
Huh?!
I don't suppose you had anything
to do with this?
BOTH: Us?
No way!
Do you really think that I'd
ever team up with Willy, Daddy?
I guess not.
Huh?
Rockzilla, rockzilla,
rockzilla, rockzilla!
Hello, Silent Spring Seniors
Home!
Are you ready to rock?!
(Cheering, screaming)
♪ Hey, all you fogeys with your
puree mush ♪
♪ You think the shuffleboard
will give you a rush ♪
♪ I know you've got a slight
case of dementia ♪
♪ But are you really gonna let
it prevent ya? ♪
♪ You're only as old as you
feel ♪
♪ Get wild, don't sit and
congeal ♪
♪ You may be decrepit and
slow ♪
♪ But you can still get it up
on your toes ♪
Just be careful, old dudes!
♪ Let's go crazy, let's all get
hyper ♪
♪ There's nothing wrong with
wearing adult diapers ♪
♪ Let burn those canes and throw
those bedpans aside ♪
♪ Let's just make sure that
there's nothing left inside ♪
♪ You're only as old as you
feel ♪
♪ Get wild, don't sit and
congeal ♪
♪ I know that your hearing ain't
good ♪
I said, I know your hearing
ain't good!
Replace the battery on that
thing.
♪ It's not too late to start a
life a new ♪
♪ Just make sure you don't get
the flu ♪
♪ Let's get nuts, old folks,
lead the way ♪
♪ Come on, hurry up, I ain't got
all day ♪
♪ You're only as old as you
feel ♪
♪ Get wild, don't sit and
congeal ♪
♪ You're only as old as you
feel ♪
♪ Get wild, don't sit and
congeal ♪
I heard that!
I just can't believe that a
sweet girl like you could have
such an animal for a father.
You mean, you actually met
new people and didn't tell them
Rockzilla's your dad?
I guess I did.
Serenity, dear.
That was the most excitement
I've had since 1963.
Oh, thank you.
You're the best thing since
sliced bread.
Since before sliced bread.
Since flushed toilets!
Who would have known that
old folks could rock like that?
They sure know how to party!
Thanks for showing them such
a good time, Daddy.
Not at all.
They're lucky to have you,
princess.
I just hope I can still rock
like that when it's time for me
to actually retire.
Does this mean you're back,
Dad?
You betcha.
After watching the seniors live
it up, I can't let my age get me
down!
Rock is back, baby!
Better than ever!
Ah-woo!
♪